Doctor Description

He wrote I had a 1st MTP hardware removal fusion revision, bone graft, 2nd MTP capsular hepby. The first MTp fusion did not fuse correctly.

Two plates, nine screws in the area of one great toe. Ouch, ouch, ouchy. The swelling continues and I elevate, ice and try not to react. Sit, listen to audio books, crochet a little, nap, rest my head, try not to think too much. Rub Aquaphor into the scar and surrounding area. Tender!

I am coming to intensely dislike this orthopedic boo . Regardless of what sock I choose it leaves lines in my foot. I know if I do not honor his instructions, this will not heal properly. Trust me, I WANT this healing to be proper and thorough.

My husband, who thinks he is highly humorous, loved Dan’s cartoon about “This little piggy.” I did NOT as it hit too close to home for me. Doc told us if this gets infected he would have to amputate my toe.

Bob did make up for his unappreciated comedy by finding a difficult to find candy bar at Walgreens for me. He told the cashier he had to make amends for making fun of me. Okay. I can accept that! And trust me, that candy will last a long time.

After elevating and icing July 16
Toe July 20 after being down for several hours.

They used so much betadine for the surgery it might never come out of my nails! Foot really looks much better than it did a month ago. I did not post the bloody, scabby photo.

I have not done anything about learning Origami other than look at the image I want to create. Oh well. Time to stop writing and go ice and elevate. My toe dictates much of my life right now!

This creation by ChatGPT and me.

ChatGPT wanted a toe on the obey button. It looked to weird to me.

Routine?

It used to be that the most distasteful thing I had to endure regularly was when the insulin pen ran low. Then I would use one needle to inject the remaining fluid from the pen and endure another needle to inject the remaining dose out of a new insulin pen. That might sound petty since the needles are so tiny, but when you feared needles as a child of three years old, two needles, no matter how small, are at minimum a psychological challenge. Now even that routine will need to change. Seems the pharmacy can no longer stock the insulin pens I know as routine! Waiting to hear from Doc what to do next!

Then I twisted my knee on my good leg. The twist was bad enough that when I would try to stand I was grinding my teeth in pain. That made things so that I needed to use a wheelchair instead of the knee roller.

Oi, yoi, yoi – frustration, exasperation. A friend who is a retired physical therapist brought a raised toilet seat that was even higher than ours, and much easier to use. She taught me how to move so I could avoid that awful knee pain. Bob bought me a compression brace for my knee (which I am still wearing). Another friend brought me her fancy knee brace which the doctor approved. Two weeks later, yes my knee is better, but I do not quite trust it yet.

About the only routine I have right now is almost no routine. Bob has gotten in the habit of setting up the dining room table for me to drink coffee, read my devotions, etc. I am able to fix my coffee and get the milk out for it. He is kind to return it to the refrigerator for me.

From there the day is determined by who is coming over, what my to-do list looks like for them, whether Bob needs to go some place or not. He is exhausted from doing all the shopping, etc. My day is mostly determined by how much time I can tolerate having my surgery foot on the floor.

Do you recall the post I made not too long ago about an ordinary day?

Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, savor you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. –Mary Jean Iron

Oh yes, that normal day of the not too distant past was a treasure indeed! I looked at my foot this morning and could not imagine how I will ever get it in a shoe again. But that too, will eventually become normal and routine.

Cherish what seems boring and normal and routine today. You never know when it will change as if a tsunami has hit your life!

Be willing to praise God regardless of the current circumstances. Years ago someone asked me how I was doing. I replied something like pretty good under the circumstances. They asked in what they likely thought was an encouraging voice, “What are you doing under the circumstances.” That truly was not helpful. To me a more Scriptural stance is to praise God in every circumstance.

16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NRSVUE

I freely admit there have been a few times the last few weeks when I have lost sight of the presence of the Lord. Melted into a puddle of tears and some self-pity. But the Lord is always at my right hand and willing to comfort me if I will but reach out, upon the Trinity, place my trust there.

So even if you are not able to give thanks in all circumstances, at least circle back to knowing the Lord is with you and resume praise and prayer.

So just spoke with pharmacy and doctor’s office. I will need to learn how to use syringe and insulin vials as the back order is to at least Mid-August. After pharmacy sells me Rx I need to make an appointment with the RN for education on how to do this method.

Also, the child how hated stitches, just removed two pieces of black stitches from the top of her foot and her heel. Gross! And large!! I give thanks for the stomach to remove those stitches. I am grateful I live in a country where insulin is available to me. Whew!!

Enough?

There are t-shirts and bumper stickers about declaring, “You are enough.” An essential message for those struggling with mental health.

In her devotional Amy Carmichael quoted part of the following hymn this morning.

July 7 "Translated from the old German of Ter Steegen have been in my heart:

Am I not enough, Mine own? enough,
Mine own, for thee?
********
All shalt thou find at last,
Only in Me.

Am I not enough, Mine own, I, forever
and alone, I, needing thee?

YouTube had this rendition


Yes, God is enough to get me through this. God can see you through your difficulties and challenges, too. I am determined to remember the message from the Lord through Ter Steegen that yes, God is enough!

I am weeks away from existing as a human Do-ing; I am more at peace if I rest for now in Be-ing. Christ is enough to help me get through this, but the neighbors and church family have certainly helped! Food Train threatened to become food flood. Flowers and flower bed helpers. Watermelon, soup, an entire meal just dropped at the house. People have come to help me with little chores and putting away my laundry, getting a load of wash started, getting things out of the dryer for me to fold.

Early this morning I saw a buck with two does walk through the neighbor’s yard. A baby bunny appeared out back. Then this afternoon I saw the buck again in a different area. He is a young buck, but a buck indeed. What a blessing! The Lord did not have to let me see that animal. It did cheer me up though! I cannot sit in my prayer chair. It is too low and right now too hard to get out of.

I am reminded there are people who will live the remainder of their lives in wheelchairs. Hopefully, this is just temporary for me. It certainly changes perspective on life. I was sitting in the kitchen one evening and Bob asked me what I was doing. I was thinking how easy it would be to just get up and walk to another room. And then remembered I may not. I want this surgery to be successful. I want the healing to go well. I am working hard to keep my glucose levels even and low. It is tempting though to give in to emotional eating. Not good thinking Molly Lin. As some used to call this, “Stinkin’ thinkin’!” That will get me no place good.

So please continue to lift us and others you know who are not up to their usual activities. We all need grace and all the help we can get. Prayer works. God can provide for us and through us. I will do this well, with God’s help.

Lord, we need Your touch!

Think on This One

Grateful living is important in the world because in our constant pursuit of more and better we can easily lose sight of the riches that lay right in front of us and within us. Guri Mehta

Are you in a constant pursuit of more and better?
Do you easily lose sight of the riches that are right in front of you?

I can do both of those things. I can be in constant pursuit of more and better, and likely do it with no conscious effort. So soaked in this American culture, asking where is the next great thrill? Where is the next thing I can afford to add to our collection of things? Things we cannot possibly take with us.

What about the things right in front of me? Can I realize there are riches? Not just compared to impoverished countries, but compared to my life decades ago. Yes, there was a time we barely scraped by with the funds Bob earned. We worked and scrimped and saved. Now we are both retired from earning wages and live off what we saved and what he inherited from his parents. Living conscious of our means we seek to not go into debt we cannot repay.

But what about the non-monetary things? The experience of living in close proximity with the neighbors who are both terribly ill makes us more aware of the treasure our love and marriage provide. They have five or six more years of marriage than we do, but in this day and age the longevity of our relationship is nothing to sneeze at. We are blessed.

I have always said, “Divorce is not an option. Murder maybe, but not divorce!” And yes, there are times when we each think of murdering the other. We have not changed each other over this half a century as much as we have adapted to one another. Yet, we are deeply blessed. Grateful living indeed.

As my chronic pain seems to increase and health challenges arise I want to see the life I have as one to be celebrated with gratitude. As evening falls and the physical problems seem to intensify I want to find a way to enter into acceptance of them and rest without trying to do battle. It has been said that we increase our suffering by resisting and wanting things to be different than they are. I know that to be true.

Lord, I need your help to come to the place of rest in all of this. Your remind me in Matthew 11 “Come to me all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest.” Yes, Lord, help me enter into your rest when it comes to evening pain and distress. Help me rejoice in your presence and great promises. I know you have promised to stay with me to the end. Be very present Lord, I pray.

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit 20 and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”Matthew 28:19-20 NRSVUE

Every Day

I first heard about CeCe Winans many years ago when I worked at “Having The Courage To Change,” a housing center for women who were coming out of prison and/or drug and alcohol treatment. The women there loved her music and soon I did too!

Do you worship every day? If not, try this one.

All my life you have been so so good.

I’ve known you as a father. I’ve known you as a friend.

As the saying goes: “No god, no peace. Know God, know peace.”

I do not care how you worship. Do you know Jesus and have you spoken with him today?

Your Estimated Wait Time …

IS IN EXCESS OF ONE HOUR. What?!??

Have you ever wondered if you would still be on hold when you die?

Perhaps this company fired all of their representatives? Maybe they have gone out of business and this is their joke on the customers?

Playing the solo by Kenny G is not calming me. Actually, I am getting nauseous after listening to it for 17 minutes. There does not seem to be any other way to get through to them!

To which I replied, “I don’t think I am very important to you!”

When the next available team member comes on the line (assuming they come on the line?) I will try to be patient and kind with them. None of this is their fault.

I wonder why they do not offer “We will return your call when it is your turn”?

I finally hung up. Tried again. Same result. Tried a different number. Same result. Grrrr.

If they had offered a website I woudl have tried it, but no, just this phone number.

Obviously this is an experience for many cartoonists!

Mother’s Day

This year to celebrate Mother’s Day my daughter decided we should visit the butterfly show at our local Krohn Conservatory. We had not attended for several years. It was a warm and humid day. Just what the butterfly’s love. The title was Monarchs, but I was disappointed that there were not more Monarch butterflies present. In fact, I saw none, even in the hatching cages. The children however never disappoint me at such a display. They are always in wonder and delighted when a butterfly lands on someone and they can see it up close! I just love when a child declares, “He likes me!”

The above is the Morpho, largest in the display. The butterflies suffer damaged wings mostly from being caught in the covers of the circulating fans. They are still lovely and majestic though.

One subject, moving around for another sip and another. I believe this is a Julia. We grew these “Mexican Sunflowers” once at the edge of our compost pile. They were very tall and draw hundreds of butterflies!

A child pointed out this transparent winged specimen. How lovely!

It was a hard angle to capture this beauty. Called a Glasswing from Central America !

They loved feeding on the dishes of cut fruit.

It was fun to put another butterfly memory in the books. Thanks, Em!

How many butterflies can you spot this week around your home?

Butterfly Living © Molly Lin Dutina 1982 
Butterfly living, now that's for me!
Glory bound and incredibly free!
Made to be a joy to Thee!
Strengthen me for wings of liberty.

For freedom Christ has set us free. Stand firm, therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1 NRSVUE
For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death. Romans 8:2 NRSVUE

Trinity Sunday

Last Sunday we celebrated the Trinity at church. “O Father; who with the Son and the Holy Spirit live and reign, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.” ends the collect for the day. The unfathomable, unknowable, ever present and loving God. We practice devotion and know some how that the Trinity is one.

Our Prayers of the People began with: “God who is unknowable and yet as close as our breath, help us to see you. ” Yes, God, open our physical eyes and the eyes of our heart to know and see and experience you.

I have been taken lately by tiny diagrams. The above was on our bulletin cover.

Using the Grateful Living challenge I have noticed that a tiny image is used in the corner of each daily practice. This little line drawing summarizes the challenge of the day. Oh I wish I could draw like that!

Superhero
Sharing joy
One playful joyful way to stand up
Share joy with others

And perhaps that is how our Trinity one God does things. Simple line drawings, opening doors for us to share with others. As humans we complicate almost everything having to do with God. Jesus taught us simplicity. Will we cling to that simple way of knowing, being known, loving and loving others?

May you know the Trinity as One. May you see the path before you as well lit and as something you can follow. Look to the One who loves you best and take the next step!

New Project

My new project entails gathering the object lessons the Lord has given me over the years to encourage me and keep me walking the road laid out before me. I will likely post of few of these during the coming months. The following is entitled “Called At the Beach To Write More.”

How does an object lesson usually come to you? Mine can jump up any time I call upon the Lord for guidance. I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised,
    so I shall be saved from my enemies.
Psalm 18:3 NRSVUE

While walking the beach in Florida we were searching for shells. I came upon this one. It is called Sunray Venus Clam.

It reminds me of lined paper. (College ruled is my favorite).

Then I came upon this one.

Atlantic Pen Shell

That got me thinking about ink wells, and fountain pens. Oh my, this was a call to write more!

Then the Lord answered me and said:
Write the vision;
    make it plain on tablets,
    so that a runner may read it.
Habakkuk 2:2 NRSVUE

Years ago a cousin older than me gave me the above verse to hold to. I was not certain she heard right. Time has shown she evidently heard exactly right for me!

The shells comprised another confirmation that I am to write and keep telling what God is doing in my life and can do in the lives of others. I keep these shells around to remind me, lest I ever doubt the call again. Or for the times I get just plain lazy about it. Lord, prod me with the shells and forgive me for being lazy, I pray.

The Veil

Often the veil and the curtain are mentioned in the Scriptures. I have had this on the brain for a couple of weeks. The veil usually refers to the lack of understanding among the Hebrew population regarding the Messiah. The curtain is the fabric that was hung between the courts of the temple and the Holy of Holies where humans, (and only priests) were only to enter once a year, on the day of Atonement.

When Jesus was hung upon the cross, as he died the curtain was torn from top to bottom in the Holy of Holies. Thereby signifying the full access of man to the Father, bought by the blood of Jesus, our sacrifice.

This quote reminded me of that and the need for us to see the value and significance of ‘each other’s human plight.’

My wish, indeed my continuing passion, would be not to point the finger in judgment but to part a curtain, that invisible shadow that falls between people, the veil of indifference to each other’s presence, each other’s wonder, each other’s human plight.

EUDORA WELTY

Jesus parted the veil between people and the Father. Jesus also parts the curtain between us and other humans if we are willing to see with his eyes, the eyes of compassion.

Eudora reminds me that when I point the finger at others there are more fingers pointing back at me.

Searching for this image there were SO many images of our President pointing his finger at others. Sad. “That invisible shadow that falls between people, the veil of indifference to each other’s presence and plight.” I fear this has infected the entire nation at this point.

Lord, may we learn to fold our hands in prayer to you, not pointing at others. Open our eyes and our hearts to the needs of our fellow persons. Break our hearts for what breaks Yours. Help us realize the access for good that you have given us through the sacrifice of Jesus. Use us for the good of others. Amen.