Holy God, the source and giver of all wisdom, in your love, give to each of us a hearing heart and the will to listen deeply for your guidance, that the decisions we make will honor you, and our life together give you joy as we serve, praying in your Name. Amen.
I heard this at my most recent retreat and was arrested by the sentiment of a hearing heart. If you are a frequent reader of this blog you know I have been writing about listening and ears and the whole concept for a couple of months now.
A hearing heart.
The will to listen deeply for guidance.
Oh yes, and the strength to trust and obey what we hear!
Many religious institutions are in transition as fewer men and women seek to follow and serve God through ordination or monastic life. So I ask that you pray for these friends who have been so crucial and instrumental in my formation as a follower of Christ. You can meet them at the link below.
Almighty and everlasting God, we pray you, bless your servants, the Associates of the Community of the Transfiguration. Pour your grace into our hearts, O Lord, that we may know and do your will. Guide, strengthen and protect us by your Holy Spirit, that we may walk in your ways all the days of our life and in the end be brought to life eternal, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
It is not unusual when I complete a project to feel a release, a let down, perhaps a turning loose of the tension. When I was in retreat and folks around me were celebrating the publication of the book of poems, I was asking the Lord, “What next?”
Several times during the appointed times of prayer at the Convent we read Psalm 139. Verse 4 in the prayer book, which is verse 5 in most Bibles, struck me. The first time I just noted it. The second time I wrote it out. Now I have been doing some study through the Logos app regarding that verse.
The promises here are astounding. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Even though I do not feel your touch, your word assures me you lay your hand upon me. I am yours. I am never abandoned, never alone. You shall lead me and hold me fast.
Matthew Henry wrote: “Thou knowest me in every part of me: Thou hast beset me behind and before, so that, go which way I will, I am under thy eye and cannot possibly escape it. Thou hast laid thy hand upon me, and I cannot run away from thee.” Wherever we are we are under the eye and hand of God. Perhaps it is an allusion to the physician’s laying his hand upon his patient to feel how his pulse beats or what temper he is in. God knows us as we know not only what we see, but what we feel and have our hands upon. All his saints are in his hand which tenderly holds their aching head.
U wrote: In proportion as we are fully reconciled to God, and love Him, and rejoice in Him, it will become a cause of joy to reflect that our best Friend is never away from us, that our Protector’s hand is never removed, that the great observant eye of divine love is never closed.
He continues, “We may judge as to our position before God by this test—is the thought of His constant observation of us a subject of joy or of dread? If we dread it, surely we have the old spirit of bondage still upon us. But if we rejoice in it, then we may know that we have received the Spirit of adoption whereby we cry, “Abba, Father.” Spurgeon went on to take a military point of view with the idea of Beset me behind and before. My response was, “Really? Do we have to take that view?”
Nelson Study Bible said, “The purpose of His intimate knowledge of His servants is protective and helpful, not judgmental and condemning.”
Yes Lord, I believe this. You protect and help me. As I confess my sins you are faithful and just to forgive me my sins and cleanse me from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9) Therefore, I can rest in your encompassing care and closeness. You are my Abba, Father.
And the New Commentary on the Whole Bible by J D Douglas 1990 says,”laid thine hand upon me—This is the body language of blessing (Gen. 48:14, 17). This level of being known and accepted overwhelms the psalmist.”
For me there is nothing to fear in these verses, nothing to run from. Why would I not accept the hand of blessing from my God upon my head? We are known and loved. Do not be overwhelmed. Sit with your God and receive.
Why do we return there as often as possible annually? We hunt for wildflowers. Not to pick or dig up. Wildflowers to photograph. We have favorite spots and favorite flowers.
Sadly, this year, most of the flowers we love had already bloomed, faded, and sent their leaves back to fertilize the ground. It was quite disappointing. The entire time we were there we did not see a single Jack-in-the Pulpit! Not one. I understand you can purchase the plants. I just might consider that. We had one plant at our previous house. It was always magical when I would venture outside and there was Jack preaching to the heavens!
I especially like Bluettes. We could not find the tiny flowers at any of our usual places. Finally a Ranger told me to go to New Found Gap. Look for the restrooms. Beyond the restrooms I should be able to find wildflowers still in bloom.
We ventured up the mountain. It was a sunny, lovely day. We stopped at a pullout to photograph one view of the mountains. I heard a bird who was unfamiliar to me. When I asked the Merlin Bird app to listen I was told it was an indigo bunting. I was not able to lay my eyes upon it, but man could that little critter sing!!
The rough ridges of the mountains lured me to take photo after photo trying to express what I saw. I saw the same rough ridges were mimicked in a huge rock along a stream.
As we got higher on the mountain the famous smoke of the mountains became more like a heavy, dense fog. And it got chilly. It was so thick it was hard for Bob to discern the road! We found the driveway and grabbed jackets, cameras and took our expectations to the bathroom area.
We were not disappointed! Oh that Ranger was SO RIGHT!
These flowers are tiny. Smaller than my pinky fingernail.
So sweet. What a blessing to me!
There were even a few Trillium.
And scattered all over the place were White Fringed Phacelia.
We had to stop ourselves from venturing too far. We were still sore from the long walks the two days prior to this. As we returned to the beginning of the trail I had to capture a photo of May Apples for my friend Phyllis!
I am pleased you can even see the flower under two of the umbrellas. Guess I learned a bit about this camera!
We were at an intersection with the Appalachian Trial. The hiker only had 1,972 miles to the northern end at Katahdin, Maine. I wondered why they did not post how many miles to the other end in Georgia? In the parking lot were dedicated hosts to help Appalachian Trial Thru hikers. Not a service I have ever needed in my life!
I told Bob I wanted to go back and see if that ranger was working. We did. She was. I kissed both of my hands and planted them on her cheeks, thanking her for making my trip more memorable and much less disappointing! She was truly a gift to me!
And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to your span of life? 28 And why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? Matthew 6: 27-30 NRSVUE
Rich Mountain Road is one of Bob’s favorite drives in the Smoky’s. The other is Parson’s Branch road. That one was still not open for the season. Drats.
Rich mountain is described as “a one-way, 7-mile journey on a twisting gravel road that leads north out of Cades Cove and ends in the town of Townsend. The road winds through quiet forest that often features excellent opportunities for wildlife viewing and nature photography.”
“Are you staying put?” she asked.
We stopped the car. Mom thought about challenging us. She had walked towards the car aggressively, (first photo). Then must have realized we meant no harm. (second photo). We waited quietly to see what she would do.
Excellent opportunity indeed! Look who we got to see. The mother was small. Maybe her first cub?
photo by r m dutina
To our amazement they crossed the road in front of us. The remaining photos are taken by me from inside the car!
I think the baby could not have been more than 2 days old?
It reminded both of us of a very small puppy!
As we drove on in amazement, I realized except for the photos, we might be the only people to actually see these two this spring! What an awe inspiring event.
We visited Great Smoky Mountains National Park last week. It was wonderful. Bob let me experiment with one of his cameras. I needed lots of coaching! When we created the cover for the book Poems we discovered that the iPhone photos I mainly take did not have enough dpi (dots per inch) to create a good book photo cover. So I set about learning a new skill. Tried to relax as I fudged the photo up then took it again, repeatedly.
The opening photo is from New Found Gap, elevation 5,048 feet. We had to travel there to see most of my favorite spring flowers. With global warming they had already bloomed and faded at the lower elevations. First photo is a hillside just covered by May Apples that were still in bloom.
Just before we arrived I had read this selection from The Edges of His Ways by Amy Carmichael: April 26
Sometimes we wake feeling “down,” and we feel like that all day long for no reason that we can discover, only it is so. It is useless to try to feel different; trying does not touch feelings. It is useless to argue with oneself; feelings elude arguments. Be patient–feelings are like the mists that cover the mountains in misty weather. The mists pass; the mountains abide. Turn to your Father; tell Him you know that He loves you whether you feel it or not, and that you know that He is with you whether you feel His presence or not. “I beseech Thee,” said one long ago, “let the power of my Lord be great, according as Thou hast spoken, saying, . . .” I suggest that you ask the Holy Spirit to bring some “saying” of His to your mind that has helped you in the past. That saying wherein He has caused us to trust, “the same is my comfort in my trouble: for Thy word hath quickened me.” Our Lord can enable us so to live that of our inward “toil and dejection” others see nothing.
photo by r m dutina
“The mists pass; the mountains abide.”
I do love the writing of Amy Carmichael! The Lord can enable us so to live that others see nothing of our inward toil and dejection. I am certainly not there yet, but it is a lofty goal. Amy Carmichael suffered “For most of her life, she suffered from a nerve condition called neuralgia, which caused chronic pain, fatigue, and migraines. Then, due to a spine injury, she was bedridden and in severe pain for the last twenty years of her life.” Today Neuralgia is defined “Neuralgia is the medical term for severe, shooting pain that occurs due to a damaged or irritated nerve. Neuralgia can affect any part of the body, causing mild to severe pain.”
Then a spine injury that left her bedridden for 20 years?!? I can hardly imagine. Yet she carried on her Christian ministry in India and wrote booklets that comfort us even to this day.
Lord, thank you for her life and writings. Thank you that she is no longer suffering with pain. Bless her memory I pray.
That is the subtitle of the new publication of my poetry which will be available through Amazon April 30, 2026. On Monday, April 20 Bob and I took Dana to dinner at Nicola’s in downtown Cincinnati to celebrate the completion of this book.
Wondrous bread basket and bread sticks I could live on! When the staff realized we were celebrating the publication of the book, not only were they effusive with their praise, but they brought each of us a glass of champagne! The chef wanted feedback on the foccaia which were were eager to give. It was delicious!
I ordered the Caesar salad and my favorite, Tagliatelle Bolognase, their famous family recipe handed down for generations.
Dana’s Salad
Goat cheese,melted like brie, on the side of the greens
Bob had the mussels.
Then they both had Diver caught Scallop. Chef says if a piece is broken in the kitchen he enjoys them raw. Both Bob and Dana thought they were delicious.
For their Ta-da! moment they both had lamb.
Truly gourmet Lamb with spaghetti
Of course, we all had dessert. Bob ordered his favorite, creme brulee, with a twist. “LAVENDER CRÈME BRULEE with raspberry foam and crystallized orchid.” He loved it and never offered me a single bite. Dana and I shared a dish of chocolate gelato and Citrus Tart Italian Meringue with Amarena cherries. Oh yum.
It was such a lovely evening. Bob, my love, my editor-in-chief and major photographer, did himself proud in treating us. This was a tremendous celebration over years of work that is finally out of my filing cabinet and being released to the world.
Dana and I read the proof copy. I listed edits that I found in the text. I changed the publication date so that we would have plenty of time to make said changes. She went to a Dulcimer convention out of town. One night, right before bed, I checked my email to be certain there was not something there concerning Prayer Team that I might need to tend to. I was shocked to see that Kindle had sent me a message that I only had a little over 24 hours to make changes.
After the dust settled I had to write it all down to decompress. The following is what I wrote. Seems funny now. At the time it was NOT funny. Bob said I should post this.
They say that having a book published is like giving birth. Tonight I felt as if the Kindle machine was starting Pitocin and the father was not present. It was too soon. The edits were not yet submitted. I panicked. (Where was my faith?)
I went from the iPad mini to the desktop to try to change the publication date again so that the edits could be made next week. Nothing was working right.
I finally hit the place where you talk with a bot. That was not real effective so I chose chat with live person.
Helan assured me I could change the date. Then I had to submit the change, keep approving until I got to pricing page and then hit Publish. I really froze up then. IT IS NOT READY. She basically said trust me. I did what she said. The Kindle Direct machine then said it would review my manuscript and that could take up to 72 hours. Until then the account would lock. I took screen shots of the texts. I wanted proof if this thing got printed without the final edits.
I realized there was nothing more I could do until Monday. Except I could pray. I left Grogu in my desk chair to watch over the book.
Physical therapist had pointed out that I need to smash down my new pillow closer to the thickness of my old worn out one. I got the new foam pillow out of the closet and literally knelt down on the floor on the pillow in prayer. This is God’s book, not mine. I prayed for the prayer teams who will be serving this Sunday. I prayed for forgiveness that I did not trust the Amazon tech more. I prayed for forgiveness that I do not trust my Father more. I prayed Dana has a great time at her dulcimer convention.
I got up from my knees and went to get a clean pillow case. I realized then I feel like an imposter. I understand imposter syndrome. Someone said to me this week, “You really are an author!” Not so certain about that but I am dizzy with anticipation and steroids and neck pops. Praying I actually get sleep tonight. Lord, Your lamb needs You.
The contractions have subsided now. The panic is receding. Hoping sleep is just around the corner. This woman is beat!
Guess I better tackle this imposter attitude before it makes trouble. “The original imposter syndrome study in the 1970s revolved around high-achieving women who had trouble attributing their own success to themselves”, one on-line source said. Perhaps I am guilty of that?
“Imposter syndrome is the voice inside your head telling you that you don’t belong, while discrimination is the voice of others telling you the same thing,” explains Dr. Albers. “The distinction is crucial because it highlights that imposter syndrome is a personal struggle that can be addressed through self-reflection and cognitive reframing whereas discrimination requires societal change and advocacy.” https://wockr.org/a-psychologist-explains-how-to-deal-with-imposter-syndrome/
So, this is just a bump in road at 10:45 PM after a long day and a chaotic week. Things are not awful and perhaps locking the account is good. No worries about it over the weekend.
I found the copyright information the next morning and updated the Proof Changes for Dana’s use. I sent it along to her. The new final date for changes came through email. I likely missed some errors, but that is done for now.
So my friends, the new book ought to be available to you on May 1, 2026 through Amazon. (I already found an error in the Table of Contents. Will be amazed if that is the ONLY error!) If you can’t find the title Poems, just type in my name. That ought to bring it up!
I am always amazed at how a quote can become a jumping off place, a diving board if you will, to other thoughts and truths.
Observe the wonders as they occur around you. Don’t claim them. Feel the artistry moving through and be silent. Rumi
One centering exercise this morning asked that I become aware of life around me. For that I usually look out the window at my prayer chair and marvel at the unfolding season. Wasn’t it just snowing as in the opening photo? As Rumi implies, I have absolutely no claim upon those wonders, but I am privileged to observe them. There is an artistry in God’s creation and the tough part is for me to be silent.
Hush my soul. Like a child quieted at its mother’s breast, be still.
{You will see below that because I chose a quote box the program made everything below that to appear in italics. I tried and tried to change it. For this post we will just live with it and I will stop using quote boxes. GRR}
I picked up a booklet at church regarding the Way of the Cross, prayers from Jerusalem. I have not entered the practice of praying the stations of the cross. This first prayer made me be still.
Assist us mercifully with your help, O Lord God of our salvation, that we may enter with joy upon the contemplation of those mighty acts whereby you have given us life and immortality; through Jesus Christ out Lord. Amen.
I kept returning to that prayer through Good Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I picked it up again this morning. Eastertide proclaims and rejoices again and again the powerful works of Lord God Almighty through the resurrection of Jesus our Lord.
This Lent and Easter were the most meaningful I have ever experienced. Maybe it is that I am aging or perhaps I keep turning my conscious over to the presence of Christ with us, in every season? I am glad Eastertide lasts for 50 days. I do not want it to end.
The mowers finally shaved our neighborhood. The grass was so high we were beginning to wonder if we should hire goats to chomp it down. As it is there are huge clumps of cut grass in many yards. Wonder! that just a few weeks ago these yards were brown and scraggly and not showing much hope. Now they are lush and thick and thriving, even though marked with tire tracks throughout.
Being still in prayer I realized I was looking at huge trees in the distance (I am not much for numbers, but I want to say 25-30 feet tall?) My feet are touching the earth and their roots are drinking up the moisture from the same earth, feeding and nurturing the new leaves and flower buds. Tiny me who is shrinking a little more each year and towering trees growing taller than I could ever climb. There is artistry moving through the trees and through me. I am stilled to holy silence.
What has been occurring around you? Have you noted the changes and given pause to the wonder?
On that day it shall be said to Jerusalem: “Do not fear, O Zion; do not let your hands grow weak. 17 The Lord, your God, is in your midst, a warrior who gives victory; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will renew you in his love; he will exult over you with loud singing 18 as on a day of festival.” Zephaniah 3:16-18 NRSVUE
Look about you. Be renewed in his love. Listen for your God singing over you as on a day of festival! And be silent.
Gratitude places you in the energy field of plentitude. Glow with gratitude and see how awe and joy will make their home in you. Michael Bernard Beckwith
Br. David Steindl-Rast shares this compelling invitation: “Imagine a society in which mutual trust has the leverage that our present social order accords to fear. Imagine a society in which mutual caring has the leverage that our present social order accords to egotism. If we reach the critical mass of grateful people, a surprising reorientation can take place.”
Brother David has amazing insights and goals that boggle my mind. I want to live in the world he imagines. Mutual trust, mutual caring and a critical mass of grateful people! Yes! Let’s do that instead of all the other nonsense politicians and reporters spend time upon.
Treasures in Plain Sight, A Christian Blog 