Category: Humor

Pour out

Posted on in Aging, Art, Faith, Family, Humor, Music, Special Event

July 1984 and 250 Celebration

Everything in the stores is red, white and blue anticipating the celebration of the birth of our country. I even saw a Coke in a round bottle in red, white and blue for the FIFA games! Have not seen this much patriotic color since after 9-11. READ ON CAREFULLY OR YOU MIGHT MISS IT.

Looks like something a six year old would delight in!

So imagine my surprise when I recently unearthed this quote from our son. He had to be all of six years old!

Jeff, “You should have seen who played the Star Strangle Banner!”

I never wrote down who played the Star Strangle Banner that year, but it might be an appropriate name for the theme this year. God help us all.

Posted on in Faith, Humor, Illness and Health, Just do it, Marriage and Memories, Special Event, Surrender

Text Message

“Hello. Sadly. I must make you aware that our wonderful member ____ ______ passed away last evening at Jewish Hospital. Please pray for all of us especially her husband, _______.”

What? She’s dead? I was just at Jewish yesterday dropping off a neighbor for a 3 day chemo stay. She was still in the hospital? Had I known I would have held her hand and whispered a prayer over her.

I cannot believe she is gone! I will never have her tease me with her droll humor again? Did she suffer? Last I heard there was something with her lungs. Was it the cancer that took her out? WHAT?

I am in shock. I am reeling with this sad news. She taught us the principles from Capacitar Emotional Freedom tapping for ‘unblocking and healing strong emotions’. When Bob and I were driving through North Dakota I was trying to tell him about how tapping works to lower stress. When we drifted over the center line he blurted out, “Tap faster! Tap faster!” Then we passed a road with her last name. It was hilarious. When I relayed the story to her, she caught the joke immediately. https://treasuresinplainsight.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=4358&action=edit

She was a friend. A dear companion. We did Journey Together In Stitches, (JTIS) not just sharing patterns, but comic relief and life. She knew the Catechism by heart. She could quote our baptismal vows better than any other lay person I know.

She hated big corporations, especially Amazon that she felt robbed her friend in the disposable diaper business. She refused to buy from Amazon. Would not receive a gift if it came through Amazon. A woman of principles.

She used to put on this pouty little black girl act when I would say something declarative. “Don’t be thinking you can tell me what to do!” And then she was off, telling me off and making us all laugh. Once I finally said, “Your mamma must have had her hands full with you!”

And now she is with her mamma. And her daddy. And we are left here alone, without her.

I bought her a Grogu because she was so enamored by him. What will happen to her Grogu now? What about her yarn and hooks and patterns? I am just too sad to even think about this more.

It is a shock. She would brag on her neighbor the master gardener.

She was loving. She was kind to all of us. We will miss her dearly. She took Education For Ministry classes with our fellow knitter, Lizann, taught by my dear friend Hawley. I still cannot comprehend that she is dead and gone to Jesus.

I have been told we can expect this as our peers grow older, but I was not ready for this shock. I am so sorry I did not go inside the hospital and ask if she was still a patient there. I assumed she had gone home. Oh Lord, what a loss. I had texted her and emailed and called. When there was no response I thought she was just tired or busy.

Now I will never hear her voice again. This is raw loss. Worse than bloody meat. This is pain and angst, aching loss and not to be filled by anything else.

She was always making a prayer shawl, a blanket for CASA kids or something for a niece or nephew. The colors she put together were lovely. She could encourage Mary like nobody else. “You do too know how to crochet! And your creations are beautiful!”

The three of us had birthdays in November. We would try to celebrate at JTIS with a fun dessert for all.

I suppose she would tell me to go do tapping to relieve my sorrow. I am not sure that will work this time, my friend. You will be sorely missed.

The magazine Psychology Today reports on the benefits of tapping. This article focuses on anxiety, but it has proven to have multiple uses. I hope you will look it up!

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/soul-console/202503/tap-your-way-to-calm-in-5-minutes-with-5-steps

Posted on in Challenge, Faith, Humor

Your Estimated Wait Time …

IS IN EXCESS OF ONE HOUR. What?!??

Have you ever wondered if you would still be on hold when you die?

Perhaps this company fired all of their representatives? Maybe they have gone out of business and this is their joke on the customers?

Playing the solo by Kenny G is not calming me. Actually, I am getting nauseous after listening to it for 17 minutes. There does not seem to be any other way to get through to them!

To which I replied, “I don’t think I am very important to you!”

When the next available team member comes on the line (assuming they come on the line?) I will try to be patient and kind with them. None of this is their fault.

I wonder why they do not offer “We will return your call when it is your turn”?

I finally hung up. Tried again. Same result. Tried a different number. Same result. Grrrr.

If they had offered a website I woudl have tried it, but no, just this phone number.

Obviously this is an experience for many cartoonists!

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Beagle, Faith, Family, Humor, Illness and Health

Seasonal Allergies

I don’t know about you, but my ‘seasonal allergies’ have decided to afflict me year ’round! Climate change is likely to blame, but gosh. I am using up tissues as fast as I can find them.

If I go out and sneeze, I will invariably need a tissue within minutes! If I stay in the house and sneeze, better have a tissue close by. The other day I actually purchased tissues at a store because some how I had used every packet from my purse and not replaced it. Ugh! It was either that or sniff continuously through the store.

I just need to NOT run out of them!

Even the beagle gets runny eyes and a Benadryl helps her clear that up. And sneeze? Oh my can this beagle sneeze! Reverse and otherwise.

My husband says I sneeze louder than anyone he knows. I have to wave at him if we are in the car and I feel a sneeze coming on. Otherwise, he gets startled. Certainly do not want a car wreck over a sneeze! I do not understand people who do little tiny sneezes. I never function that way.

Itchy eyes, headaches, sneeze upon sneeze.

The Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America says: Allergies and viral infections can cause rhinitis. The word rhinitis means “inflammation of the nose.”

Rhinitis! Yep I feel like a rhino when my nose goes off! Here is the least offensive diagram of rhinitis that I could find.

Yep, I’ve got it all!

So the next time you hear someone sneeze say, “God bless you!” Because only “Bless you” does not get it. And if you have a clean one, offer them a tissue.

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Challenge, Faith, Humor, Look, Nature, Traveling

Texas and Ohio Among Other Places

When we drove across the country a few years ago we often saw fields of yellow in the distance. Once we asked a farmer-type of person what those yellow flowers were. His answer, “Damn yellow cross pollinators.” That was a variety I had never heard of !

Driving through our vicinity recently I saw a yellow field. I told Bob I wanted to get a photo to see what the plants were.

On a sunny day, which we have not had many lately, these were glowing in the distance!

It looked as if the folks at this construction site had sewn the seeds for this plant.

Sure looks like damn yellow cross pollinators!

“Hairy buttercup (Ranunculus sardous) is a native European weed. It’s indigenous to the Canary Islands and North Africa, but has spread throughout the world. Its saffron-colored flowers are a common sight in fields and pastures. The plant gets its name because it has hairy stems and leaves.” https://www.picturethisai.com/wiki/Ranunculus_sardous.html

That nifty app lets you upload a photo and it identifies. How did we ever live without the internet? Oh I remember, farmers who told us things like “damn yellow cross pollinators” for identification!

Enjoy your yellow fields if they appear in your vicinity! Call them whatever you like!

Posted on in Challenge, Faith, Humor, Joy, Obedience, Prayer, Thanks, Traveling

Little Jesus

During Bible study in the room where we do not usually meet I saw a tiny figure of Jesus on a high window sill. I was curious where that came from and who climbed up there to position it.

When we went to the Smoky Mountains the motel we stayed at had the same figures lined up on the computer monitor where we checked in! She told me the story about the man whose idea it was. She said if you read his story online he will send you some for free. I read it, did not find how to get any for free. I did find how to order them from Amazon. I decided, why not?

Recently we went to a liquor store in Northern Kentucky where the selections are much larger than the local stores in Ohio. I put some figures in my pocket.

There was a Banana Pudding man, selling his homemade desserts. I approached him with my hand closed saying, “This is a southern thing.” He put his hand out, palm open saying, ” I’m southern.” I placed the Jesus figure in his palm. I spoke, “We can all use a little Jesus.” He loved it!

When we got to the cash register I told the young man who rang up our order, “I saw your cross.” I gave him one. He turned to his friend as we were walking out and exclaimed with excitement, “Look what she gave me!” His friend took it in his hand and began to walk away with it.

“Hey, that’s mine! Give it back! I’m going to show Susie!!” He was very indignant.

I returned to his register saying, “No need to fight boys. There is enough Jesus to go around.” I gave him 2 more. Now when my computer was letting me type this up it put Hesed in place of Jesus. Yes, there is enough hesed to go around, too! (Hesed: a Hebrew word that encompasses a range of meanings including loving-kindness, mercy, and covenant loyalty, often describing the faithful and generous love that God has for His people and the love that individuals should show to one another. It is not just a feeling but an action that reflects deep commitment and kindness.) Was God using my keyboard there?

In the parking lot was a woman with large cross around her neck. I gave her one saying, “Here is a reminder we all need a little Jesus.” She was enthusiastic about Jesus and told me her Jesus is MUCH larger than this. She declared she needs a lot of Jesus! I assured her my Jesus is much larger than this plastic piece.

Some of you might object to the tiny dolls that say Jesus loves you. I would have to say that anything that sparks this much positive conversation about the Savior is just fine with me.

What have you done lately to share your faith in the Savior? Was it this pleasant for all?

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Challenge, Faith, Humor

A Source of Constant Laughter

If this posted previously it might be worth another laugh! Not certain everyone got to see it. Bob and I cannot stop laughing about this. We saw this on the news. There is just something about those legs that keep kicking that tickles us tremendously! Click on the link to see the video.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/technology/robotics/robot-set-to-run-a-half-marathon-fails-at-the-starting-line/vi-AA21clvA?ocid=socialshare

And then the techs came on the scene with a STRETCHER and carried the robot off. I was laughing wondering why they did not just throw the pieces in a box to be examined and reassembled later?

Here is another view! Notice they did not sweep up the pieces 🙂

I wonder what the flat piece was on its head? Oh what man tries to do to imitate God who made men, their brains and all things in heaven and on earth.

“Mann Tracht, Un Gott Lacht” is an old Yiddish adage meaning, “Man Plans, and God Laughs.”https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/our-emotional-footprint/201602/man-plans-and-god-laughs

Posted on in Aging, Faith, Humor, Joy, Thanks

Ginger Snap Soup

For years I have enjoyed two ginger snaps with my morning coffee. To me it is a delicious way to begin the day! I dip a ginger snap in my coffee and enjoy the flavor on my tongue. I take a sip of coffee. I dip another ginger snap and repeat the process. I usually buy Stauffer’s. They brag about being made with real ginger. I can have a couple as they have no frosting and are not likely to send my glucose soaring.

Recently Bob visited Trader Joe’s market where he picked up a tub of their Triple Ginger Snaps. Theirs are made with crystallized ginger, ginger puree, and ground ginger. Yum! We have enjoyed them before. He was disappointed when we opened them and it looked as if they had been dropped multiple times during shipping from California. I told him my friends say the broken ones have only half the calories. We were both content to eat some broken pieces. Mind you, not all of them were broken!

On a recent morning I made my coffee and got out the cookie tin. I grabbed a ginger snap and dunked it in my coffee. 80% of it disappeared into the coffee! Oh NO!! I had forgotten about the shipping damage. It had not looked broken, but obviously was. I got a tablespoon out of the drawer thinking I could get out the piece. Nope it was gone.

When I got to the bottom of my coffee cup later in the morning I was laughing that I had created Ginger Snap soup!

Do you have a recipe for ginger snap soup as easy as mine? Not likely to serve it to anyone but me!

Dunker Styles

Guess the photo defines me as a gone too far dunker! I am more careful now with these maybe broken, but not showing their cracks ginger snaps!

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Beagle, Faith, Humor, Nature

Trying to Keep the Skunks Away

The skunks love to come through our back yard. Somehow their mighty bad fragrance drifts into our bedroom windows. It literally is enough to gag me. So I went in search of a solution.

Online it said they do not like unexpected noises or lights. Well, I figured getting a motion sensitive light was too expensive to begin with. Mom always said that hanging “tin pans” (or now aluminum pie tins) would repel critters.

Tin pans tend to rust and we simply do not use them much any more. Not even certain I could buy one if I wanted to. Maybe I could try an empty vegetable can? Aluminum pans though come with all kinds of tasty treats like fruit pies from the bakery or crumb crusts from Keebler. I have been collecting them.

I moved two small shepherd hooks close to our bedroom window. I put out aluminum pans on yarn strings. Bob saw they needed to be anchored there so he added a wooden clamp clothes pin. The winds have been strong and relentless lately. The yarn wraps around the hook. The wind has even blown a pan off the string a time or two. I refuse to surrender to the stench of skunk.

At first the clacking of the pans bothered me, but then I would remember their purpose. Eventually the sound just became a song the wind played for us. And I am happy to report we have only had one skunk (that we know of) stinking up the yard!

Someone mentioned that the skunk sprays because we have a dog. I have to say I do not agree as the dog is rarely even allowed into the back yard! She is more than likely sunbathing on the cordoned off deck if she is out back.

The winds are gusty again today. I have restrung a pan for the hook. As soon as I can get out without freezing or being blown away I will hang it up again.

Wind is in many places in Scripture. Psalm 104 says God walks upon the wings of the wind. In Job 38 God answered Job out of the whirlwind. And John 3:8 says

The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit.

Listen for the wind. Avoid the skunks. Rest in the power of the Almighty God.

Posted on in Book quotes, Challenge, Humor, Joy, Praise, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth

Stephen Ministry Meeting

I was privileged to attend the Stephen Ministry regional meeting last weekend. Stephen Ministry is designed by professionals to train lay people to assist in caring for others through the ministry of listening. Stephen ministry materials are used in all 33 correctional facilities in the State of Ohio! “Since 1975, Stephen Ministries has trained more than 70,000 leaders from the United States, Canada and 29 other countries, who in turn have equipped over 600,000 volunteer caregivers. These caregivers have provide emotional and spiritual support to millions of people affected by cancer,divorce, job loss, chronic illness, grief, financial difficulties, and other crises and life challenges.”

This was an all day educational meeting with boxed lunch (delicious) and new people to meet and befriend. I still think the Stephen Ministry logo should be a large listening ear!

There were folks from all over Ohio, Kentucky, Tennessee, Indiana, Michigan and likely other places I missed. The speakers were from the St. Louis, Missouri headquarters.

The last time I attended something like this I was younger. This time I was wondering if I could stay awake and not get bored during the lectures. I was pleasantly surprised. The sessions were well run and entertaining. They kept the dialogue moving with NO monotone voices. There were breaks to take a stretch, go to the restrooms or get a snack. It was great.

The Agenda for the Day

The news about the new program to help churches combat the mental health crisis was particularly interesting. There certainly is a crisis in this country. Stephen Ministry leaders have noticed and have been planning materials for a couple of years. They are not ready to be released yet, but certainly sound promising.

The materials for “how to care for and relate to those with cancer and their loved ones” especially appealed to me trying to relate to my neighbors who are both ill. The text book “Cancer, Now What” is used in many cancer facilities all around the country. I bought two copies. One for our neighbors and one for me. Hey! No shipping cost when bought at the conference 🙂 The book looks daunting at first with over 300 pages, but there are blank pages, it is done in large print, and the short chapters are ideal for those who are ill or who have “brain fog.” Here is the link if you are interested https://cancernowwhat.org/default.cfm

I took lots of notes as you can see from this page alone.

And then my humor kicked in. They told us to turn to page 12 in our celebration program. At a glance I thought it said something about shoplifting. I was like ??What?? The actual title was Spotlight Shifting. When I told the other 2 Stephen ministers from our church about my reading error, our fearless leader could not stop laughing. I’m nothing if not entertaining!!

Yikes, Molly!

And each time I say to God, “I am trying, Lord.” He replies, “Yes, dear, very trying.”

Oi,yoi, yoi.