Losses and Gains

Oh my. A friend just asked me to pray. Her parents are considering buying a larger home where the young family and the older folks can all live together. I agreed that I would pray for them, but my heart was so sad that my young, vibrant neighbor who loves God might leave the neighborhood.

Her prayer is that if this is God’s will the doors to make it possible will fly open. If it is not God’s will and just the plan the humans have dreamed up, nothing will make it go.

As Gamaliel advised: “But a Pharisee in the council named Gamaliel, a teacher of the law, respected by all the people, stood up and ordered the men to be put outside for a short time. So in the present case, I tell you, keep away from these men and let them alone, because if this plan or this undertaking is of human origin, it will fail; 39 but if it is of God, you will not be able to overthrow them—in that case you may even be found fighting against God Acts 5:34, 38-39 NRSUV

It was such a gain to meet this young woman when we first moved in. It would be such a loss to me and others to have her leave the neighborhood. Losses and gains: such is life.

Corrie ten Boom advised Chuck Swindoll (and others too) to hold all things loosely. I first heard that lesson when my kids were becoming older teenagers. I need to remember the same lesson now. Us old folks tend to get crusty and stuck in our ways. Somehow we think things will always be the way they are right now – both the good and the bad things. God sends changes to each season to try to convince us to honor and cherish each stage of our lives. Still, I tend to get stuck.

Corrie said, “Pastor Swindoll, you must learn to told everything loosely – everything. Even your dear family. Why? Because the Father may wish to take one of them back to Himself, and when He does, it will hurt you if He must pry your fingers loose.”

Oh Molly, open your hands! Rejoice at the many blessings God has sent your way! Let it all stay loosely present to you. When a blessing is removed, remember how wonderful it was.

My daughter loaned me a book called “Raising Hare, a Memoir” by Chloe Dalton. I told Bob I might need to purchase the book. I keep wanting to write in it, underline passages, turn down corners, (none of which have I done). This tome especially moves me because in 2020 we found baby rabbits in our front garden, right by the front steps. {This week I have been loving our flower beds with the cheer they bring me in the midst of the panic and chaos of pandemic. I have picked and delivered multiple bouquets to neighbors and even my sister. I did notice that I need to get out there and spruce up the front flower bed from the dead leaves of last winter and general chickweed, etc. A clump of Hyacinths near the front door were especially packed with dead grass.

Today I looked and thought, “That is unnatural to have that much dead grass around the hyacinths.” Taking a break from writing I decided to move it away so the bulbs could flourish. As I reached down I realized I should probably use my handy table knife that I keep there for cleaning off shoes, just in case some mouse or unsavory had decided to move in. So I grabbed the knife and began to lift and move the grass. Noticed fur and WHAM!! there were little tiny eyes and ears. Nope, not mice! Baby bunnies!! I hurried put the grass back in place.} Many years earlier I had heard a rabbit get killed by a cat. It literally screamed. I will never forget how human the cry was. When we discovered these little bunnies we knew they were not safe jumping around the flowerbed. Plus, we owned a dog at the time and it was just a matter of time before she found them, too.https://treasuresinplainsight.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=2450&action=edit and https://treasuresinplainsight.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=2467&action=edit

Why tell you all of this? I had to capture one tiny bunny to try to put it back in the nest. I can still recall the sensation of that fluffy fur in the palm of my hand. Yes, the mother rabbit came and moved the buns. I never heard one being killed, I did not find any piles of fur. But I gained a sweet memory in that one moment holding that little one.

photo by r m dutina

Sure the book is about hares in the English countryside, not American cotton tail rabbits, but I am eating it up. What memory do you have that is precious to you? When the circumstances around it changed did you feel a loss?

Can you discern the way losses and gains move like the seasons?

Rejoice at the many blessings God has sent your way! Let it all stay loosely present to you. When a blessing is removed, remember how wonderful it was.

I was in the back garden last week and as I looked down I saw nasturtium seeds above the ground! I realized these were grown by my plants over the summer. I picked them up and brought them inside to dry for planting next spring. I was really glad I did because 2 days later I saw a chipmunk foraging in the same area! Had I not gotten the seeds when I did that chipmunk would have stuffed its cheeks and carried them away! I am certain he will find other seeds in the garden that I missed. The nasturtiums are almost finished for 2026. Each time I pick a small bouquet I think, “Oh this is likely the last one!” Until a hard freeze I might be able to enjoy them. Then it will be losses and gains again.

Summer bouquet

The rose pictured above has a few more buds on it. One large maple is all yellow and green now. The mowers set their blades lower this week. Autumn is upon us. Lord, help us remember that each season offers losses and also gains. Ha! I just saw the first slate colored Junco return for the winter 🙂

Newsboys

I was playing music in my car from my favorite songs on a data stick. The next day I kept hearing a melody. Then a few words. Finally, I realized I was hearing the bridge from a song by a group called the Newsboys. The song is entitled We Believe.

The following are the words from the bridge:

So, let our faith be more than anthems 
Greater than the songs we sing 
And in our weakness and temptations 
We believe 
We believe

Anthem: 1. A hymn of praise or loyalty. 2. A choral composition having a sacred or moralizing text in English.

"Our faith greater than the songs we sing", so necessary if we are to push through our difficulties and struggles. Songs help, but there are times when there are no songs. There are times I am hard pressed to even remember a melody! 

Here are the lyrics of the song followed by a music video.
[Verse 1]
In this time of desperation
When all we know is doubt and fear
There is only one foundation
We believe, we believe

[Verse 2]
In this broken generation
When all is dark, You help us see
There is only one salvation
We believe, we believe

[Chorus]
We believe in God the Father
We believe in Jesus Christ
We believe in the Holy Spirit
And He's given us new life
We believe in the Crucifixion
We believe that He conquered death
We believe in the Resurrection
And He's comin' back again
We believe

[Verse 3] (I called it the bridge)
So, let our faith be more than anthems
Greater than the songs we sing
And in our weakness and temptations
We believe, we believe
Here is a video of the song.

Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who has promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23 NRSVUE

Wise Maya

How is your courage today? Perhaps you did not need to call upon courage at all today? Maybe you feel as if all your courage drained out like dishwater from the sink. Most of us need courage in some aspect of our life.

Without courage you can’t practice any other virtue consistently. You can be anything erratically—kind, fair, true, generous, all that. But to be that thing time after time, you need courage.

MAYA ANGELOU

Do you have the courage to be consistent in your walk and life with Jesus? Each day a new beginning but hopefully with the same conviction to honor God and do the will of the Almighty over your own wishes and desires.

I have found that courage comes with increased trust in the will of God for my life. I do believe the often quoted verse in Jeremiah 29: 11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

There is a woman who is watching her husband fold under the ravages of Parkinson’s disease. She must do almost everything for him now. She requires courage to face every day. Recently she went to the store and for some reason her phone ringer was turned off. While she was away he had an episode of illness. The Paramedics tried to call her to tell her they were transporting her husband to the local hospital. They did not get an answer and left no message on the phone. Through the intervention of the Holy Spirit and the quick action of neighbors she was notified by text and actually arrived at the hospital before the ambulance.

Living with someone who suffers from a terrible disease requires courage on the part of the one who is not suffering the same malady. She needs courage to keep placing one foot in front of the other. She requires courage to face the unknown future. This is a terrible disease that will ravage his being and most likely require he will eventually be cared for at a nursing facility. For now, she is his nurse, his wife, his chief cook and dishwasher. She, too, has a disease. Though it is a rare one, it takes a toll on her every season.

God, our Father, give these caregivers the courage to walk with their loved ones day in and day out as they suffer and experience the various stages of disease.

The Benedictines remind us to keep death always before us. Most of us stuff that idea under the sofa cushions and refuse to even examine the truth therein.

By keeping death always before us we come to cherish life more than if we pretend death will never happen to us. Life is precious and to be enjoyed. Even when it is not enjoyable, there are gifts in our midst. A TV sports conflict to take our minds off ourselves. The taste of a lovely coconut macaroon to delight our senses. The change of seasons to bring us fresh air. The softness of a pet’s fur. The songs of cricket and tree frogs. The shadow cast by objects under the light of a full moon on a clear night.

We can embrace the fact of our coming death and say no to denial. I have repeatedly come across the idea that we have been dying ever since we were born. There is a mystery in birth that is not to be considered greater than the mystery in death. We are all hurtling towards death the moment we are born. As someone has said, “I do not fear dying. It is how I am to die that has been shivering in my boots.”

Memento mori means remember that you have to die. Once I wrote in this blog about being aghast at seeing the star of The Chosen wearing skull rings. Then I realized they were to remind him he too will have to die. Here is a video short where he explains ….

Courage to live this day fully. Yes, Lord, I need courage for that!

Lake & Jonas – The Author

Here is a new find! I think it was released May, 2026. Evidently it was released quietly. Those of us who like the music of Brandon Lake found it. I think it is a great song!

Here is also an interview with Nick Jonas about his faith and painful experience with the church. https://www.jubileecast.com/articles/36442/20260506/nick-jonas-church-hurt-faith-journey-brandon-lake-the-author-2026.htm

The two men collaborated on the song at a song writing camp. Who knew that artists even attended such things? I certainly did not!

https://youtu.be/oRw4PqBzGc0?is=yXKD_b_C6EOLkSuW

Try the link above.

Here are the lyrics: [Verse 1: Brandon Lake]
Picked up the Book for the first time in ages
Still washed me clean with the dust on the pages
My life is a story I struggle to write
But is it one worth telling? Is it one You like?
Mm

[Chorus: Brandon Lake]
So who am I? Who am I?
Am I just a poor preacher’s prodigal son?
Troubled child, running wild
Chasing the glory instead of the One
Who says that I, even I, have something still left to offer?
So who am I?
Who am I to question the pen in the hands of the Author?

[Verse 2: Nick Jonas]
Like every good story, you learn from the loss
And I lost the plot every time I played God
I live in a moment You already wrote
It’s proof that I’m someone, yeah, someone You love
Oh

[Chorus: Nick Jonas]
So who am I? Who am I?
Am I just a poor preacher’s prodigal son?
A troubled child, running wild
Chasing the glory instead of the One
Who says that I, oh, even I, have something still left to offer?
So who am I?
Who am I to question the pen in the hands of the Author?

Two preachers kids singing their testimony!

Are you willing to tell your story of following Christ?

Join In

Lectio 360 “Today is Friday the 25th of September, and this week we are praying through a collection of the great prayers of the Old Testament – exploring motifs of honesty and hope, remembrance and thanksgiving, desperation and celebration, joining our…
… voices with priests, poets, prophets and saints who learned to pray to God openly and unafraid.”


Do we pray openly and unafraid? This was something the people of the Bible learned. Have you? Can you speak to the heavenly Father without editing your words and feelings? God can handle whatever it is you are dealing with.

When I was 9 months pregnant and I found my mother dead on our sofa bed I had plenty to say to God. I did not actually formulate those feelings into words until some months after our daughter was born. I had to learn that God was not afraid of my strong feelings.

There were so many platitudes spoken to my pregnant self at Mom’s funeral. It was very difficult to sort out truth from fiction. It was truly not until I came across the verse in Ezekiel 18: 32a NIV that I began to understand. For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Sovereign Lord.

The relentless torment of the enemy of my soul asking, “How can you be a mother without a mother?” kept me unsettled and seeking the Lord. I finally cried out about 10 months after her death as I agonized in my grief, shouting from the depths of my soul to the Lord of heaven and earth, “You PROMISED that You would comfort those who mourn. (Matthew 5:4) Where are you?” doubled over I cried until there were no more tears. Then the Lord came to me with the comfort that only the God of all Comfort could offer. (2 Corinthians 1:3) Thus my long journey with the Savior of my soul was reignited.

I learned God could handle my anger and grief. I discovered that the comfort from heaven is real. Thus I began to learn to pray open and unafraid about anything and everything.

How have you learned to pray to God, open and unafraid? Do you feel as if you can go to God with all of your circumstances and reactions and stumbling blocks?

If not, what might be keeping you from going?

We can learn to trust the one who loves us the best and the most. “The Almighty HAS done great things for us and holy is His name.” (Adapted from Luke 1:49) Try expressing yourself with authenticity and transparency to God. You might very well be surprised at the welcome and acceptance you will receive, not to mention comfort and guidance.

Well, I could go on and on but I would rather you have the experience for yourself. Keep on seeking, keep on asking, keep on knocking. (Matthew 7:7 NLT) Discover the joy of coming to know God’s heart towards you.

All Are Welcome

We are made to tell the world that there are no outsiders.

ARCHBISHOP DESMOND TUTU

During the communion prayers we sometimes pray, “Jesus taught us that the liberation of the whole world will not be in the brutality of violence. Rather, it will be in showing kindness to our neighbor, in standing up against injustice, in returning hate with love, in transforming one heart at a time. It will be in the simple but holy task of dining together, sharing bread and wine, truly seeing one another as beloved by you.”

One of our favorite lines in the Communion service is when the priest declares. “This is God’s table, not ours. All are welcome.”

Oh Father, we have such a long way to go to bring you delight. Purify our hearts we pray that we might not sin against you. Open our eyes to see our fellow humans as made in your likeness. Help us to esteem others as better than ourselves. (Philippians 2:3)

We have also been learning a song by Michael Stillwater that goes, “One by one everyone comes to remember, we’re healing the world one heart at a time.”

This is a German speaking group. We also sing it in rounds at church. I found myself singing it one day last week and had to stop to remember where I had heard it!!

May your eyes be opened and your heart know that there are no outsiders. Just humans walking each other home.

Expanded Examination of Gratitude posted Again

I posted this with wrong date. Then it did not seem to post this morning. So here is another attempt!!

I write about this many times because I am still learning the importance of gratitude. I studied the book by Ann Voskamp entitled One Thousand Gifts and did the work of finding a thousand things to be grateful for. Mind you, there were to be no repeats from day to day. Her goal was for us to “Find Everyday Graces.”

There have been many research projects proving the benefits of doing this practice.

Recently while listening on Insight Timer the meditation instructor mentioned write 3 gratitudes, large or small. Yes, I know about those. Then he went further and said, “#2. Explain why you are grateful and how they improve your life.”

Yes, I have likely thought that while recording the gratitude, but never wrote out the reasons why. Research shows that if we will write things out, especially with pen or pencil, they make a greater impact upon us.

Then he went on to, “#3: Notice how focus upon gratitude shifts awareness from unfairness towards appreciation.”

Oh boy! Don’t most of us love to harp on things we perceive as unfair!?!

So while writing this blog I stopped to perform the three steps the teacher proposed for expanding gratitude. Yes, I literally stopped typing and wrote out with a pen the answers to his expanded examination of gratitude. It actually takes less time than one might think it would! And I do find myself more at peace and delighted with the three gratitudes.

If I type my responses out for you, I am not at all certain they will retain your attention. The benefits however are not to be discounted.

Word Press says that so far this blog post only requires a one minute or so reading. So here goes. I have often blogged about crocheting, cooking and gardening. They are my three topics.

1. I am able to crochet again

2. I enjoy cooking

3. Nasturtium blessings

Okay there are three but they are not explained at all.

#2. Why grateful? How it improves you life.

I am grateful I can create with yarn, be it a coaster, hat or blanket. Crochet improves my life with gifts to give, plus the joy of sharing patterns and the craft with Dana, Bonnie, Phyllis, etc.

Cooking is a creative outlet for me, but I am glad we can eat out when we want so I don’t have to cook dinner daily. Cooking improves my life because I use better ingredients and less salt than restaurants. It is also fun to share what I cook with others.

I am grateful for nasturtiums because so long as I pick them they bloom on and on. No matter how many I pick they bloom right into the frost season. They also remind me of our first year of marriage.

Nasturtiums improve my life because through them I can bring sunshine into the house with different shades of yellow and orange. I also get to share a bouquet with others. 🙂

Our nasturtiums with one rose

Gratitude shifts from unfair to appreciative.

After 55 years of the craft to have to stop crochet was sad, but the steroid injection in my thumb joint, then giving it time to heal, learning a new way to hold my hook differently and being content to crochet less all flowed from the change in ability. Perhaps this old dog has actually learned a new trick?!?

I have gratitude that I could in recent years offer meals to Pete (RIP) and Chuck and Ginny (RIP). The gratitude helps relieve the grief of their passing. Soon Kathy will move back to Florida for six or seven months, (that too is grief for me). I suppose I might share her portions with Jennifer, Judi and Micky, or Jerry and Diane?

The summer was blistering and miserable. I got nasturtium seeds in the ground before surgery. Then I had to get family, friends and neighbors to pick the flowers so they would not go to seed. I was often frustrated that I could not just go do it myself. (In fact, it was one of the first things I actually did outdoors once I could bear weight on the boot.) I have a better appreciation now for these sturdy little annuals and the friends who helped me in my garden when I was unable.

There. That is expansion on the three simple gratitudes. It did not take much time to write it out long hand. Studies show that is more impactful on our brains than typing, though I mostly type my journal now because of arthritis in my hands.

I hope this blog will inspire you to try this exercise. At least once a week? Look at your life, find three things to be grateful for, and then answers the questions.

#1. Write 3 gratitudes, large or small. #2. Explain why you are grateful and how they improve your life. #3. Notice how focus upon gratitude shifts awareness from unfairness towards appreciation.

Ann Voskamp wrote, “And I ride the undulating wave of grace, this lifting higher and higher in grace, the surging crest of joy, and this plunging lower and lower in humble thankfulness only to rise yet higher in grace.” Page 108 One Thousand Gifts Devotional

These ideas are taken from Lesson 4: Life is Unfair https://insighttimer.com/meditation-courses/adopt-the-navy-seal-mindset-empowering-you-to-be-resilient-when-stressed

Thank you for sticking with me for 5 minutes. I hope the ideas help you expand your gratitude list!

Henri Nouwen

Lectio 365 wrote this quote from Nouwen on his feast day:

The love that often leaves us doubtful, frustrated, angry, and resentful is the second love, that is to say, the affirmation, affection, sympathy, encouragement, and support we receive from our parents, teachers, spouses, and friends. We all know how limited, broken, and very fragile that love is… The radical good news is that the second love is only a broken reflection of the first love and that the first love is offered to us by a God in whom there are no shadows… The knowledge of Jesus’ heart is a knowledge of the heart. And when we live in the world with that knowledge, we cannot do other than bring healing, reconciliation, new life, and hope wherever we go.
https://lectio365.24-7prayer.com/share/devotionals/2026-09-21/morning?locale=en

It has at times been difficult to offer the love God gives us to those around us. We knew for more than six months that both Chuck and Ginny had fatal diseases. We made an effort to take them meals, visit them when hospitalized, send texts, cut flower arrangements, anything we could think of to cheer them. It was not always easy to extend our hands and hearts to them, but we felt the Lord was asking us to do it. So we did, even when our own hearts were reluctant.

Now Chuck is dead. Ginny is dead. Our local restaurant keeps this sticker on the counter for anyone who wishes to take it home. It has been on our kitchen counter for many months urging us into obedience to God. John Wesley is reported as having said,

“Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can.”


Our time for doing good for Chuck and Ginny is over. He sent us a basket of African violets and philodendron vines just before he died. He had no idea that Bob had recently told me he would like to have another African violet! It is such a gift of love. The card on the flowers reads:
“Thank you guys for your compassion, prayers, and most of all for your love. We love you, Chuck and Ginny” I see the flowers and miss them both.

The house across the street where they lived is empty now. The sons have all gone home to prepare for another funeral or celebration of life, this time for Chuck. I keep getting startled when I realize there is no one there.

Icon of Henri Nouwen by Kelly Lattimore

I hope our efforts reflected what Henri Nouwen wrote. This is not to brag to you, but to show that we never really know what the outcome of our loving, our extending the hands of Jesus to another … we never quite know what the impact will be upon the other person. All we can do is try to follow the example Jesus gives us and obey the promptings of the Holy Spirit. May the God and Father of us all be pleased. (Ephesians 4:6)

Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. 16 If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? 17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. James 2:15-17 NIV

Secret

 But whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you. “And whenever you fast, do not look dismal, like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces so as to show others that they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that your fasting may be seen not by others but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you. Matthew 6: 6, 16-17 RSV

These words jumped out at me: Father who is in secret, Father who sees in secret, Father who is in secret.

Pray to your Father in secret. Talk with God in secret. Do we?

Once a friend named Char told me she talked to God all day long. Then she asked, “Am I doing it right?” I told her she was practicing faith exactly right. We are told to talk with God about everything, all the time. Not to be seen and lauded by others, but for that personal, holy, Spirit- filled relationship with the Lord God Almighty. This is what Jesus died and rose again for – to give us this ability through the power of the Holy Spirit.

in the 1600s Brother Lawrence taught, “That we should establish ourselves in a sense of God’s presence by continually conversing with Him. That it was a shameful thing to quit His conversation to think of trifles and fooleries.”

“With him the set times of prayer were not different from other times; that he retired to pray, according to the directions of his superior, but that he did not want such retirement., nor ask for it, because his greatest business dd not divert him from God.”

Can you imagine having developed your prayer life to where nothing could divert you from conversing with God? Have you arrived there? I certainly have not.

“As he proceeded in his work he continued his familiar conversation with his Maker, imploring His grace, and offering to Him all his actions.”

Yes, Lord, yes! That we might please always be in this secret communication with the throne. I never want the sacrifice of Jesus to be in vain as far as my life goes. As I bend the knee of my heart before You I reach for Your Presence within and around me. Amen.

Here is a short video about the story of Brother Lawrence. I have it starting at the discussion about conversing with God.

Fear of Change

A quote from the series “The Hammond Family Farm,” “He knew that teenagers thought everything that happened today meant that was how things would be forever. Boone knew far better than that.”

That is so like our thinking. Even in my 70s I often think like a teenager, grasping things as if they will be this way forever. Good and bad things. I forget things change, whether I like it or not.

Then there is this:

In 2018 I journaled the following. “Change is inevitable. Come to expect it.” If only I had that tattooed on my hand, I could see it daily and perhaps remember that when I am strolling in my comfort zone, that too is subject to change. Perhaps the seasons changing so dramatically are our reminder from God that nothing remains the same except God.”

Life is full of mystery. The mystery is our invitation to let go and to embrace uncertainty with the fullness of our being. This is how hope becomes our bearing. It’s how it becomes our compass in uncertain times. Joe Primo

“Hope becomes our bearing and our compass”

“Joe Primo is the CEO of Grateful Living. He is a passionate speaker and community-builder whose accomplishments made him a leading voice on resilience and adversity. Gratefulness for life, he believes, is foundational to discovering meaning and the only response that is big enough and appropriate for the plot twists, delights, surprises, and devastation we encounter along the way. ” https://grateful.org/joe-primo/

I have come to regard Joe with high praise. He was a Hospice Chaplain for many years. That gives a person a unique insight on the best ways to LIVE. The bold text above summarizes his embrace regarding the importance of gratefulness. Please read it one more time slowly.

The purple quote above says let go and embrace uncertainty with the fullness of our being. I am not there yet! Indeed, I have not arrived. Yes, Lord, I need hope for my compass.

“Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul.“ Emily Dickinson

Right after I noted this Dickinson quote for the blog it showed up in a TV show. Just like God to send me a reminder. “Let go and to embrace uncertainty with the fullness of our being.”

Are you willing to try it this week? And the week after that? And the week after that? I am praying that the next time you see a feather you will remember Emily and Joe, see the hope that perches in your soul, embrace uncertainty with the fullness of your being.

Peace is an invitation in daily life to breathe deep, right here, in the uncertainty. MORGAN HARPER NICHOLS

Peace. Hope. Uncertainty. They are our companions. “We Can Complain Because Rose Bushes Have Thorns, or Rejoice Because Thorn Bushes Have Roses.” No one is certain who created this sentiment, but many encourage us to be grateful for life and embrace the changes that come our way, uncertain though that way may be.

Bob Dylan is quoted as having said, “There is nothing so stable as change.”