Category: Rest

Posted on in Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Focus, Just do it, Look, Rest, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Thanks, Trust

Amy and Tamara Inspire Again

I have been experiencing this and trying to express it since the surgery on June 15. Still clumping around in the boot and hoping this cheers those of you who are struggling.

August 15 Amy Carmichael from Edges of His Ways
For the tempted. (1)
Psalm 77:3, P.B.V.: When I am in heaviness, I will think upon God.
“Have you noticed how, when you are in heaviness, you are always tempted to think about yourself–your uselessness, your failures, your nothingness–yourself in one way or another? I have known this temptation and have constantly found it tormenting others. To draw one’s thoughts to oneself is a long-tried and most successful wile of the devil.

“Straight against this is the word we have in this psalm, “When I am in heaviness, I will think upon God.” I will turn my thoughts from myself to my Father who loves me and does not stop loving me, though I am useless and a failure and less than nothing at all.”

The meditation app Calm on the same day brought forth the idea of how we fixate on certain things as required for our contentment. We are ever reaching for one thing or the other than what is for our happiness and contentment. Both Amy Carmichael and Tamara Levitt encourage us to find peace right where we are. Right now. With things as they are.

Tamara says, “The stories we tell ourselves about our lives suggest there is always something missing, some incomplete piece keeping us from happiness.” She reminds us that it is “unhealthy to place our happiness on some ever-elusive external goal.” She challenges us to find satisfaction with who we are right now. Amy stated we might feel “useless and a failure and less than nothing.” Tamra suggests we turn loose of the idea of something missing and cling instead to what is here, right now, as enough.

Tamara says, “When we rely on external factors as the key to happiness we only perpetuate our discontentment. She quote B. Grace Bullock as saying, “Once you shed your distorted lens and self-doubting beliefs, there’s a good chance you’ll discover that you’re pretty awesome. And that the light burning within you is a far more accurate reflection of who you are than the stories you have been telling yourself.” That is when contentment becomes possible.

Shed your distorted lens

So my struggle the last couple of months has been to stay in the present, realize that even with physical limitations I can turn my heart and mind towards God. If I stop telling myself distorted stories and think upon my God, contentment is possible. Just now.

As I am.

Right here.

Give it try!

Posted on in Art, Beagle, Faith, Family, Humor, Illness and Health, medical treatment, Praise, Prayer, Rest, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Thanks

Greeting Cards

I received so many nice cards while I was recovering from toe surgery! I eventually stapled them to a ribbon and hung them from the curtain rod in the dining room. A few of my favorites I actually read multiple times. The sentiments, though written for Hallmark or Day Spring audiences, spoke to me. I hope they find meaning in your heart also.

(Ugh I am still trying to find the most comfortable way to situate myself while writing at my desktop computer. Not easy with one leg elevated!)

It looks much better now, but still swells and then throbs.

The first card remains the funniest. I had confided in my friend Kathy that I was uncertain how I would manage the bathroom on one foot. She was right there when Bob brought me home from the outpatient procedure. She left a card and a small gift for me to open when I was up to it. The gift was this block sign:

And I have relied on her! She will text she is “going to Kroger. Need anything?” And whether I ask for an avocado or throat lozenges for dry mouth, she will find it and bring it to me. Her card was the funniest.

The sentiment reads, “Hope crappy turns into happy …get well soon!” Yes the perfect card for the event and the proloooonged recovery. And sort of looks like Lucky, too!

A little over half way through this recovery I go this one. “Stay positive. Stay hopeful. Keep going.” How did this dear friend know that I would be tempted to negativity. Tempted to lose hope? Tempted to just give up? Likely because I often confide in her my prayer requests. The card shows a close up of the center of a daisy. That is the flower I think of when I think of my daughter. Her birthday is in June and that is when many daisies here bloom. The inside sentiment reads, “I know you’re working hard at getting better, and I want you to know I’ll be rooting for you every step of the way.”

My life has sudden filled with 3 women named Debby. This particular Debby nails it on the head every time! Each Debbie is a blessing in her own right. One has a sister named Sandy. I am able to remember her name as I have cousins who are sisters: Debbie and Sandy!

Another recent card reads: “May each new day bring you gentle reminders of God’s ever-faithful love as He strengthens you with His healing touch.” I would read this and center myself in the knowledge that God loves each of us and I would look for the reminder round about me. There was always something there to cheer me on.

Another card came from a neighbor. This particular woman had been through several crises the last couple of years. I remember praying over her and trying to calm her during one in particular. I am not aware of this couple attending any church, but I try to share my faith wherever I am. They do know I am willing to pray for them whatever they are walking through. When she presented the card to me with a very generous gift card she seemed to take delight in telling me she remembered me talking with her about patience. Now is was her turn to reinforce the message about patience! Her card read, “Recovery is a process. It takes time. It takes patience. It takes everything you’ve got …. and you’ve got a lot – a kind heart, an amazing spirit, and people who really care about you.“

I placed that card on the kitchen counter where I could read it easily from the wheelchair I had to use after twisting my knee (adding insult to injury). It brought me great encouragement and comfort.

These are a few of the things that gave me pause to give give thanks to God. If you are compelled to send someone a greeting card do not underestimate what it might mean to the person receiving it. You never know how God might use you for such a time as this!

Posted on in Faith, Listen, Look, Music, Prayer, Rest, Trust, Yield

The Power of Maybe

Can you. Stop for a moment. View your situation through the lens of maybe? Maybe this is for the good. Perhaps this is going some place you had not imagined. Maybe you do not have all the facts. Could be you only understand in part?

Stop. Pause. Breathe.

Maybe is a powerful word. May – I am able. I am free to do.

Maybe shows uncertainty and also possibility.

Too often our minds decide a situation and close upon one conclusion like a steel trap.

There are many places we make major decisions in life and also the myriad decisions we make every day. Places where we can and ought to insert the word maybe.

It may be that I have misinterpreted something. This sort of thought dethrones the ego who wants to be God and by doing so invites the wisdom of the Holy Spirit to open the eyes of our heart to new insights, possibilities we might not have thought about.

Maybe this will give you food for thought. May Be.

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Challenge, Faith, Illness and Health, Praise, Rest, Surrender, Thanks, Trust, Worship

Limitations Can be Fun?

Everything, even the hard things, are wrapped up in the loving kindnesses of the Lord, and His loving-kindnesses “have been ever of old.” Psalm 25:6 I have searched, but I cannot find the place Amy Carmichael is quoting from with this passage about even the hard things.

I have been trying to sing “Li-mi-ta-tions can be fun,” but through the sarcasm I try to realize the truth of the matter.

Amy quoted Isaiah 63:7: I will mention the loving kindnesses of the Lord, and the praises of the Lord, according to all that the Lord hath bestowed on us, and the great goodness toward the house of Israel, which He hath bestowed on them according to His mercies, and according to the multitude of His loving kindnesses. Douay-Rheims 1898

I am truly sick and tired of the limitations after foot surgery. Then Bob and I both caught a VERY NASTY cold. What a mess. Doc said it is not covid or the flu. Likely a virus. I wondered about covid as I coughed so hard I feel as if I tore all of my abdominal muscles. You know it is bad when you wonder if it might be less painful to cough with a corset on? So yep, holding my belly and trying not to cough though coughing has been productive and gunk is clearing out of my sinuses and throat. Doc said 7-10 days until I feel better.

“Everything, even the hard things are wrapped up in love.” I have been searching for the love wrappings here. At times that wrapping is difficult to discern! Over a year ago my granddaughter gave me a bunch of crocheted squares that she grew tired of. She thought perhaps I could join them into a blanket, “or something.” They were placed in an area with other unfinished crochet projects. With this arthritic right thumb I have to be careful how much I actually crochet or I aggravate the joint into throbbing pain. When I grew tired of making hats for children I began putting an edge on the squares and noticed right away the increase in thumb pain. So I did just a bit a day. Soon I had the squares joined and began to plan how to increase the overall size.

I had purchased similar yarn to join the squares. I even have a deep turquoise but uncertain I will use it. I did not try to match the yarn she used. Besides, she had thrown away the wrappers, so I could have searched for a long time and would likely never find it.

Here I am seven weeks into this recovery. It has been difficult to pass the time without losing my cotton pickin’ mind. There is some what of a routine, but I would gladly toss that routine out the window for the ability to function without foot pain and swelling; from 4:00 PM on is the worst.

There are times I wonder if doc implanted a chameleon foot in place of my other one? It can turn the most awful shade of purple if I leave it hanging down for too long.

The other day I was remembering how I used to be able to pick things up with my toes. Those days are gone at least for the left foot! Looking for chameleon photos just now I wondered if this new toe could fetch me snacks like this chameleon is about to enjoy?

Love those little front paws/hands!

Nope, I have not learned origami though I started one piece. When the pattern got difficult I realized I was losing my patience and put it aside.

I have been able to do more things around the house than those first few weeks. Bob tells people he used to have to do 200 things for me everyday. Now he is down to about 40? Sometimes if I ask him to do something he will tease me saying, “45!” Such a clown. My strength and endurance is increasing.

Several friends have come from time to time to work on my list of things to do that I cannot do. They have been such a blessing to us both! Their help reduces the things I require from Bob. Lord knows, he has been doing PLENTY!

I will recount the gracious deeds of the Lord,
    the praiseworthy acts of the Lord,
because of all that the Lord has done for us
    and the great favor to the house of Israel
that he has shown them according to his mercy,
    according to the abundance of his steadfast love. Isaiah 63: 7 NRSVUE

Grateful for the healing that is occurring. Grateful for a loving husband willing to do whatever I ask during this time of recovery. I praise God for church family who lift me constantly in prayer and in person, through texts and greeting cards, always there with me through this long season of recovery.

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, medical treatment, Praise, Prayer, Rest

Routine?

It used to be that the most distasteful thing I had to endure regularly was when the insulin pen ran low. Then I would use one needle to inject the remaining fluid from the pen and endure another needle to inject the remaining dose out of a new insulin pen. That might sound petty since the needles are so tiny, but when you feared needles as a child of three years old, two needles, no matter how small, are at minimum a psychological challenge. Now even that routine will need to change. Seems the pharmacy can no longer stock the insulin pens I know as routine! Waiting to hear from Doc what to do next!

Then I twisted my knee on my good leg. The twist was bad enough that when I would try to stand I was grinding my teeth in pain. That made things so that I needed to use a wheelchair instead of the knee roller.

Oi, yoi, yoi – frustration, exasperation. A friend who is a retired physical therapist brought a raised toilet seat that was even higher than ours, and much easier to use. She taught me how to move so I could avoid that awful knee pain. Bob bought me a compression brace for my knee (which I am still wearing). Another friend brought me her fancy knee brace which the doctor approved. Two weeks later, yes my knee is better, but I do not quite trust it yet.

About the only routine I have right now is almost no routine. Bob has gotten in the habit of setting up the dining room table for me to drink coffee, read my devotions, etc. I am able to fix my coffee and get the milk out for it. He is kind to return it to the refrigerator for me.

From there the day is determined by who is coming over, what my to-do list looks like for them, whether Bob needs to go some place or not. He is exhausted from doing all the shopping, etc. My day is mostly determined by how much time I can tolerate having my surgery foot on the floor.

Do you recall the post I made not too long ago about an ordinary day?

Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, savor you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. –Mary Jean Iron

Oh yes, that normal day of the not too distant past was a treasure indeed! I looked at my foot this morning and could not imagine how I will ever get it in a shoe again. But that too, will eventually become normal and routine.

Cherish what seems boring and normal and routine today. You never know when it will change as if a tsunami has hit your life!

Be willing to praise God regardless of the current circumstances. Years ago someone asked me how I was doing. I replied something like pretty good under the circumstances. They asked in what they likely thought was an encouraging voice, “What are you doing under the circumstances.” That truly was not helpful. To me a more Scriptural stance is to praise God in every circumstance.

16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NRSVUE

I freely admit there have been a few times the last few weeks when I have lost sight of the presence of the Lord. Melted into a puddle of tears and some self-pity. But the Lord is always at my right hand and willing to comfort me if I will but reach out, upon the Trinity, place my trust there.

So even if you are not able to give thanks in all circumstances, at least circle back to knowing the Lord is with you and resume praise and prayer.

So just spoke with pharmacy and doctor’s office. I will need to learn how to use syringe and insulin vials as the back order is to at least Mid-August. After pharmacy sells me Rx I need to make an appointment with the RN for education on how to do this method.

Also, the child how hated stitches, just removed two pieces of black stitches from the top of her foot and her heel. Gross! And large!! I give thanks for the stomach to remove those stitches. I am grateful I live in a country where insulin is available to me. Whew!!

Posted on in Book quotes, Faith, Humor, medical treatment, Obedience, Rest

Finished Week 3

Only 5 to go before I go to therapy and get to walk again!

Reviewing Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach, Ph. D.:

P. 82 “We bring alive the spirit of Radical Acceptance when, instead of resisting emotional pain, we are able to say yes to our experience. Pat Rodegast writes, “So walk with your heaviness, saying yes. Yes to the sadness, yes to the whispered longing. Yes to the fear. Love means setting aside walls, fences, and unlocking doors, and saying yes …. One can be in paradise by simply saying yes to this moment.” The instant we agree to feel fear or vulnerability, greed or agitation, we are holding our life with an unconditionally friendly heart.

P. 84 “There are many ways of sending the message of yes to our inner life. We can whisper, “it’s okay” or even a welcoming “Hello” – silently or softly out loud – in response to a painful emotion. Yes might also be an image or a gesture. A friend of mine mentally visualizes herself bringing her palms together and bowing to what has appeared. When she feels the grip of anxiety, anger or guilt, she imagines bowing to it with a sense of genuine respect. I sometimes lightly place my hand on my heart and send a message of acceptance and care to whatever is arising in me.

“Thich Nhat Hanh calls his practice of yes “smile yoga.” He suggests bringing a slight but real smile to our lips many times throughout the day, whether we are meditating or simply stopping for a red light. “A tiny bud of a smile on your lips,” writes Thich Nhat Hanh, “nourishes awareness and calms you miraculously . . . Your smile will bring happiness to you and to those around you.” The power of a smile to open and relax us is confirmed by modern science. The muscles used to make a smile actually send a biochemical message to our nervous system that it is safe to relax the flight, fight or freeze response. A smile is the yes of unconditional friendliness that welcomes experience without fear.”

This book has helped me through many difficult situations in my life. Where she writes Buddha I envision Christ. I must practice Radical Acceptance if I am to endure this seated recovery with any grace at all. I have needed to apply the smile to several situations already. Likely there are more to come!

This looks SO MUCH like my neighbor, Ember, who just turned one. Sadly, I had to miss her party. Her parents did bring her to see me afterwards though.

 I made it to eye doctor appointment. Had my eyes dilated which I abhor. Stayed calm throughout the evening by conscious effort. Next day I was tired from the excursion and effort.

This week I get my stitches out and also see the Internist. Two adventures, woohoo!

 

                   

Posted on in Aging, Collection of Quotes, Faith, Illness and Health, Obedience, Prayer, Rest, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Trust, Yield

Collection to Calm and Bring Joy

A recent quote from the Calm app reads: “We do not need to be fixed. We try to use more force and the key is how to use less force. How to become more efficient rather than more effortful.” wrote Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen.

Can I do that? Just breathe and use less force in seeking change or comfort?

Another quote. The Danish writer Isak Dinesen wrote, “All suffering is bearable if it is seen as part of a story.”

A different experience had me re-imagine, recall if you will, a situation that brought me incredible delight. I remembered how sore my jaws were after smiling so hard on our wedding day.

September, 1970

I was instructed to apply that image when in distress. Molly, recall that joy when TMJ hits. (as part of having Fibromyalgia, temporomandibular joint pain (TMJ) can occur. It is usually short lived, i.e., a day or two.)

Linking TMJ and joy. Worth a try! This page from my Mary Engelbreit calendar expresses it well!

Art by Mary Engelbreit Quote by Manson Cooley

Another quote read, “The most valuable thing we can do for the psyche is let it rest, wander, live in the changing light of a room, not try to be or do anything whatever.” May Sarton

By the time this post is up I will know if a date has been scheduled for my revisionary left foot big toe surgery. Take out steel plate and 6 screws, clean it all up, remove any new arthritis, replace it all. Eight weeks NO WEIGHT BEARING. In other words, sit down, rest, wander in my mind, live in the changing light of a room and not try to go any where except on a knee scooter-roller whatever you call the contraption. Not try to do much of anything.

Doc told me a year ago I need to have it done as it did not heal correctly six years ago. I asked what if I don’t have it done? He said eventually you will not be able to walk. Well, I am having pain and spasms in that foot. Every night I must elevate it and even ice it.

Yep, seeking all the calm and joy I can store up for this adventure!

Not certain which book I was reading but it said, “How often we are headed in the wrong direction, fighting the wrong fight, battling with reality and losing. I thought of the aspects of myself that are like this woman and this man: how I strive over and over again ….”

“I am somewhat dismayed at how often we hang on where we need to let go and give up where we need to persevere.”

Lord my God give me wisdom to let go into your arms. Give me strength and courage to persevere when I feel like giving up. Help me entrust my life to my faithful Creator.

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Illness and Health, Marriage and Memories, Obedience, Praise, Rest, Spiritual discipline, Surrender, Thanks, Trust

Think on This One

Grateful living is important in the world because in our constant pursuit of more and better we can easily lose sight of the riches that lay right in front of us and within us. Guri Mehta

Are you in a constant pursuit of more and better?
Do you easily lose sight of the riches that are right in front of you?

I can do both of those things. I can be in constant pursuit of more and better, and likely do it with no conscious effort. So soaked in this American culture, asking where is the next great thrill? Where is the next thing I can afford to add to our collection of things? Things we cannot possibly take with us.

What about the things right in front of me? Can I realize there are riches? Not just compared to impoverished countries, but compared to my life decades ago. Yes, there was a time we barely scraped by with the funds Bob earned. We worked and scrimped and saved. Now we are both retired from earning wages and live off what we saved and what he inherited from his parents. Living conscious of our means we seek to not go into debt we cannot repay.

But what about the non-monetary things? The experience of living in close proximity with the neighbors who are both terribly ill makes us more aware of the treasure our love and marriage provide. They have five or six more years of marriage than we do, but in this day and age the longevity of our relationship is nothing to sneeze at. We are blessed.

I have always said, “Divorce is not an option. Murder maybe, but not divorce!” And yes, there are times when we each think of murdering the other. We have not changed each other over this half a century as much as we have adapted to one another. Yet, we are deeply blessed. Grateful living indeed.

As my chronic pain seems to increase and health challenges arise I want to see the life I have as one to be celebrated with gratitude. As evening falls and the physical problems seem to intensify I want to find a way to enter into acceptance of them and rest without trying to do battle. It has been said that we increase our suffering by resisting and wanting things to be different than they are. I know that to be true.

Lord, I need your help to come to the place of rest in all of this. Your remind me in Matthew 11 “Come to me all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest.” Yes, Lord, help me enter into your rest when it comes to evening pain and distress. Help me rejoice in your presence and great promises. I know you have promised to stay with me to the end. Be very present Lord, I pray.

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit 20 and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”Matthew 28:19-20 NRSVUE

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Book quotes, Look, Nature, Poetry, Rest, Spiritual discipline, Surrender, Worship, Yield

Rumble

I am trying to write this morning and the long awaited landscapers are here mowing. The huge riding mower is so loud it is drowning out sounds about the room. The windows are rattling and I wonder how I can write about the necessity of quiet when my very teeth are on edge.

And then I remember to breathe. This too shall pass. Each moment is like a bell curve. There is a beginning, a peak, and a subsequent lessening. Okay, now I hear them in the backyard, but that too will lessen as they move to the next yard and the next down the street.

Cannot even show you a photo of the man standing behind the mower as all the photos online are pristine mowers with absolutely NO grass cuttings upon them.

The point for me is how can I return to the quiet once the quiet is disrupted? Do you have a trick to do that?

I decided to step outside and try to photograph the first bachelor’s button of the season. They seeded themselves from last year and are now starting to bloom. (May 11) I might have practiced the method I wrote about in the following poem right then, but the mower was back to shear the verge so I came inside to check the photos and write the poem out for your perusal.

Page 5 in the new book Poems. 

"This poem took me into the deeper silence of meditation. For me, the center down silence of being with God is a wonderful place to be. Thus, Down repeats in the poem.

Bachelor’s Buttons

Going inward with the deep blue of the bachelor’s buttons
I sink down.
I take the encompassing blue with me.
Down.
I drop my shoulders
Down
I breathe the blue petals.
Knowing the blue from the petals will fade.
Down.
For now they wrap me in stillness.
Down.
Wash me in the blue brightness I pray.
Down.
Not Mrs. Stewart’s bluing agent.
Down.
But the true blue of fresh flower.
Down.
Peculiar petals. Down
To where I am nestled inside the flower.
Down.
Beyond pollen gathering bees.
Down.
Sitting still in the Blues.
I am restored.

Just contacted WordPress and learned a new skill! Hope you liked this layout 🙂

Typing it and editing the photos, I stop. And drop. And roll in the restoration.

Down. Help me to stay with You, Lord. “Continuously renewed Immediacy,” wrote Thomas R. Kelly in A Testament of Devotion.

Maybe you would like to read it again and try it?

Posted on in Faith, Family, Obedience, Prayer, Rest, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Thanks, Worship

Convent of the Transfiguration

A recent prayer from the Sisters.

Holy God, the source and giver of all wisdom, 
in your love, give to each of us a hearing heart and 
the will to listen deeply for your guidance, 
that the decisions we make will honor you, 
and our life together give you joy 
as we serve, praying in your Name. Amen.

I heard this at my most recent retreat and was arrested by the sentiment of a hearing heart. If you are a frequent reader of this blog you know I have been writing about listening and ears and the whole concept for a couple of months now.

A hearing heart.

The will to listen deeply for guidance.

Oh yes, and the strength to trust and obey what we hear!

Many religious institutions are in transition as fewer men and women seek to follow and serve God through ordination or monastic life. So I ask that you pray for these friends who have been so crucial and instrumental in my formation as a follower of Christ. You can meet them at the link below.

https://ctsisters.org/about/the-sisters/

Almighty and everlasting God, we pray you, bless your servants, the Associates of the Community of the Transfiguration. Pour your grace into our hearts, O Lord, that we may know and do your will.  Guide, strengthen and protect us by your Holy Spirit, that we may walk in your ways all the days of our life and in the end be brought to life eternal, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.