New Project

My new project entails gathering the object lessons the Lord has given me over the years to encourage me and keep me walking the road laid out before me. I will likely post of few of these during the coming months. The following is entitled “Called At the Beach To Write More.”

How does an object lesson usually come to you? Mine can jump up any time I call upon the Lord for guidance. I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised,
    so I shall be saved from my enemies.
Psalm 18:3 NRSVUE

While walking the beach in Florida we were searching for shells. I came upon this one. It is called Sunray Venus Clam.

It reminds me of lined paper. (College ruled is my favorite).

Then I came upon this one.

Atlantic Pen Shell

That got me thinking about ink wells, and fountain pens. Oh my, this was a call to write more!

Then the Lord answered me and said:
Write the vision;
    make it plain on tablets,
    so that a runner may read it.
Habakkuk 2:2 NRSVUE

Years ago a cousin older than me gave me the above verse to hold to. I was not certain she heard right. Time has shown she evidently heard exactly right for me!

The shells comprised another confirmation that I am to write and keep telling what God is doing in my life and can do in the lives of others. I keep these shells around to remind me, lest I ever doubt the call again. Or for the times I get just plain lazy about it. Lord, prod me with the shells and forgive me for being lazy, I pray.

Abandoned

This has become to me a perennial song. Perennial typically describes things that are permanent, constant, or repeated. At times I am compelled to sing it. Sometimes multiple times in a row.

Me, too, Lord! I want what these lyrics speak. Here is the video followed by the lyrics (in case you don’t like jumpy words.)

Abandoned

Benjamin William Hastings

Somethin’ isn’t adding up 
This wild exchange You offer us 
I gave my worst, You gave Your blood 
Seems hard to believe 
You’re tellin’ me You chose the Cross? 
You’re tellin’ me I’m worth that much? 
Well, if that’s the measure of Your love 
How else would I sing?

But completely, deeply, sold-out, sincerely abandoned 
I’m completely, freely, hands-to-the-ceiling enamored 
My one-life endeavor to match Your surrender 
To mirror not my will, but Yours 
Oh, I’m completely, deeply, don’t-care-who-sees-me abandoned

Oh, I surrender all

I just can’t get over it 
What kind of self-control is this? 
When You had angels at Your fingertips 
But on the Cross You remained 
And I can’t repay that kind of love 
But I can praise with everything I’ve got 
Since death had all of it’s power robbed 
Then just like the grave

I’m completely, deeply, sold-out, sincerely abandoned 
I’m completely, freely, hands-to-the-ceiling enamored 
Oh, my one-life endeavor to match Your surrender 
To mirror not my will, but Yours 
Oh, I’m completely, deeply, don’t-care-who-sees-me abandoned

Oh, I surrender all 
I surrender all 
I surrender all

The whole of my heart, the best of my soul 
Each phase of my life, each breath in my lungs 
Consider it Yours, Lord 
Consider it Yours, Lord 
The failures I hide, the victories I don’t 
The battles I fight, each crown that I hoard

Consider it Yours, Lord 
Consider it Yours, Lord 
All the glory forever, the grave that You won 
The praise of the Heavens, the kingdom to come 
Oh, consider it Yours, Lord 
Consider it Yours

I’m completely, deeply, sold-out, sincerely abandoned (hey!) 
I’m completely, freely, hands-to-the-ceiling enamored 
Oh, my one-life endeavor to match Your surrender 
To mirror not my will, but Yours 
I’m completely, deeply, don’t-care-who-sees-me abandoned

Oh, I surrender all

No, You’ll never leave me abandoned 
I surrender all

Written by: Cody Carnes, Benjamin William Hastings, Brandon Lake, Christopher Michael Davenport

I had to ask who is Christopher Michael Davenport?

“Grammy-nominated songwriter and worship leader Chris Davenport has been a quiet fixture within worship music for years.

“Through his contributions with UNITED like “Another In The Fire,” “Grace To Grace,” and “Seasons,” as well as collaborations with artists like Phil Wickham (Hymn Of Heaven), Brandon Lake (Too Good To Not Believe), and Cody Carnes (Be Glad), Chris has established himself as a unique, authentic, and influential voice within the worship community.” Now we all know more about him.

Make sure we never abandon God! “My one life endeavor to match your surrender…”

Stars in Daylight

I was wondering aloud to Bob the other day about the stars when the sun rises and we can no longer see them. I am still pondering the wonders of the heavens several days later as I write this.

I am certainly not a master of astronomy, just a curious old woman. https://starrymaps.com/guides/daytime-star-map/ gave me a few answers.

“How we map a daytime sky

“Modern astronomy has mapped the position of every visible star with extraordinary precision. We know, down to the arc-second, where each star sits at any given moment from any point on Earth. This isn’t guesswork — it’s celestial mechanics, the same science that lets us predict eclipses centuries in advance.

“When you give us a date, time, and location, our software calculates the exact arrangement of stars above that place at that moment. It doesn’t matter whether it was noon or midnight, overcast or clear. The math doesn’t care about the weather or the sunlight. It cares about the geometry of Earth’s rotation and the stars’ positions — and those are always known.

https://starrymaps.com/guides/daytime-star-map/

Isn’t it amazing that even though we cannot see them the stars are there, above us, as we circulate around the sun.

“New research led by Sarah Caddy, a PhD candidate at Macquarie University, shows that this is possible. Caddy and her team have successfully captured one of the brightest stars during daytime observations, opening up new possibilities for astronomy.

“The first time I saw stars during the day was actually whilst hosting a group of primary school students at Sydney observatory,” said Caddy. “The kids really wanted to look through the telescope, so despite it being midday, we pointed it at the brightest star in the sky – Sirius. You can imagine my astonishment – and their excitement – when we could actually see it!” 

“I guess it takes that sort of childlike curiosity to explore things we would have previously discounted as impossible.”  https://www.spaceaustralia.com/news/seeing-stars-day

Sirius is about 8.6 light-years from Earth.

So I tried to read up about the movement of stars and other celestial things like planets. To tell the truth, the science is WAY beyond my comprehension. I do know that when ever I am able to stay awake past dark and the sky is clear I am fascinated with the stars and planets I see. I can only imagine how tremendous those creations appeared when there was no light noise created by mankind. One night in the mountains of Colorado we were able to see the Milky Way in its glory. Wow!

The book of Common Prayer says:

At your command all things came to be: the vast expanse of interstellar space, galaxies, suns, the planets in their courses, and this fragile earth, our island home. By your will they were created and have their being.

All glory to you, our mighty God! Heaven and earth are full of your glory. Hosanna in the highest!

Prayers and Reality Right Next to Us

This prayer has been on Lectio 365 for several weeks. It’s impact hits me only occasionally. And then WHAM! it hits me just what we are praying.

Lord Jesus Christ, 
alive though you died,
meet with me now,
speak to me now, and
grant me your peace,
both here in these moments of prayer,
and throughout the day to come. Amen

“Alive though you died.” Revelation 1:18 Did you catch that? We are speaking in prayer to the risen King. He died. He rose again. He dwells with us and lives in us through the Holy Spirit.

“Meet with me now.” Christ is able to do that.

“Speak with me now.” Nothing is too difficult for the King of kings. Jeremiah 32:17 Open my ears to hear you I pray.

“Grant me your peace.” Regardless of what this day or hour or week may bring, your peace please. That peace that is beyond all understanding. Philippians 4:7

Lord Jesus Christ, alive though you died. Yes, I truly believe this prayer and the outrageous claims of Jesus. After three days dead he did rebuild the temple of his body. Complete with scars inflicted by man upon his hands and feet and side. He came and was seen by the disciples. He ate meals with them, even cooked a meal for them on the beach! He showed them his scars beautified by the Father. And this same Savior is with us today, decades and centuries later.

The Collect for this past week at church read:

O God, you have prepared for those who love you
such good things as surpass our understanding:
Pour into our hearts such love towards you,
that we, loving you in all things and above all things,
may obtain your promises,
which exceed all that we can desire;
through Jesus Christ our Lord,
who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit,
one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

Certainly gives us plenty of meat to ponder for our journey this week! “Loving you in all things and above all things.”Help me do just that Lord.

God is so good and wants to give good things to us. Matthew 7:11 NRSVUE

Seek him and you will find him when you seek for him with all of your heart. Jeremiah 29:13 NRSVUE He will not disappoint us.

Project Completed

It is not unusual when I complete a project to feel a release, a let down, perhaps a turning loose of the tension. When I was in retreat and folks around me were celebrating the publication of the book of poems, I was asking the Lord, “What next?”

Several times during the appointed times of prayer at the Convent we read Psalm 139. Verse 4 in the prayer book, which is verse 5 in most Bibles, struck me. The first time I just noted it. The second time I wrote it out. Now I have been doing some study through the Logos app regarding that verse.

The promises here are astounding. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Even though I do not feel your touch, your word assures me you lay your hand upon me. I am yours. I am never abandoned, never alone. You shall lead me and hold me fast.

Matthew Henry wrote: “Thou knowest me in every part of me: Thou hast beset me behind and before, so that, go which way I will, I am under thy eye and cannot possibly escape it. Thou hast laid thy hand upon me, and I cannot run away from thee.” Wherever we are we are under the eye and hand of God. Perhaps it is an allusion to the physician’s laying his hand upon his patient to feel how his pulse beats or what temper he is in. God knows us as we know not only what we see, but what we feel and have our hands upon. All his saints are in his hand which tenderly holds their aching head.

U wrote: In proportion as we are fully reconciled to God, and love Him, and rejoice in Him, it will become a cause of joy to reflect that our best Friend is never away from us, that our Protector’s hand is never removed, that the great observant eye of divine love is never closed. 

He continues, “We may judge as to our position before God by this test—is the thought of His constant observation of us a subject of joy or of dread? If we dread it, surely we have the old spirit of bondage still upon us. But if we rejoice in it, then we may know that we have received the Spirit of adoption whereby we cry, “Abba, Father.”  Spurgeon went on to take a military point of view with the idea of Beset me behind and before. My response was, “Really? Do we have to take that view?”

Nelson Study Bible said, “The purpose of His intimate knowledge of His servants is protective and helpful, not judgmental and condemning.”

Yes Lord, I believe this. You protect and help me. As I confess my sins you are faithful and just to forgive me my sins and cleanse me from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9) Therefore, I can rest in your encompassing care and closeness. You are my Abba, Father.

And the New Commentary on the Whole Bible by J D Douglas 1990 says,”laid thine hand upon me—This is the body language of blessing (Gen. 48:14, 17). This level of being known and accepted overwhelms the psalmist.”

For me there is nothing to fear in these verses, nothing to run from. Why would I not accept the hand of blessing from my God upon my head? We are known and loved. Do not be overwhelmed. Sit with your God and receive.

Psalm 16 Repeats

Have you ever noticed a Bible verse repeating over and over again in your life?

In our recent readings for the Second Sunday of Easter we read Psalm 16. Verse 11 is especially meaningful to me.

“You show me the path of life.
    In your presence there is fullness of joy;
    in your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
” Psalm 16:11 NRSVUE

When I skipped church as a young teenager and walked the paths in the park worshiping God, it seemed as if David’s experience was my experience, too.

In 1993 I attended a silent retreat. When Psalm 16 came up I felt led to take verse 8 with me and practice God’s presence as I walked the Convent grounds.

I keep the Lord always before me;
    because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.
Psalm 16:8 NRSVUE

The practice that day deepened my faith and my trust in this God who is always at my right hand. Isaiah 42: 6 verses a and b go along with this verse.

“I am the Lord, I have called you in righteousness,
    I have taken you by the hand and kept you
…”

When I attended the Jewish funeral service for our dear “Aunt Cloty Gutman” in May, 2002 they read this Psalm. I was deeply touched as I remembered again that we both shared trust in this God whom David extolled.

The path of life, fullness of joy, pleasures forevermore … why would I seek after anything else?

I learned early in life that the God of Jesus is Who I wanted to seek. After dabbling in things of the world and even tasting the occult, I realized that only Jesus is eternal. Only God Almighty is going on forever. That is Who I want to follow. That is Who I want as my leader.

Protect me, God,
for you are my refuge.
I said to Adonai, “You are my Lord;
I have nothing good outside of you.”
The holy people in the land are the ones
who are worthy of honor; all my pleasure is in them.

Those who run after another god
multiply their sorrows;
To such gods I will not offer
drink offerings of blood
or take their names on my lips.

Adonai, my assigned portion, my cup:
you safeguard my share.
Pleasant places were measured out for me;
I am content with my heritage.

I bless Adonai, my counselor;
at night my inmost being instructs me.
I always set Adonai before me;
with him at my right hand, I can never be moved;
so my heart is glad, my glory rejoices,
and my body too rests in safety;
10 for you will not abandon me to Sh’ol,
you will not let your faithful one see the Abyss.
11 You make me know the path of life;
in your presence is unbounded joy,
in your right hand eternal delight.
The Complete Jewish Bible

Health News

Well that pain in my neck is not just from my unruly neighbors or a bad night of sleep. I have been learning what it means to live with cervical spondylosis and radiculopathy (compression or irritation of a spinal nerve). Seems more like ridiculousness than radiculopathy!

I decided to seek medical help when my neck began popping, sometimes 10 times in an hour. For several years I have had daily headaches the doc could not explain. Also recently some numbness in hands when I crochet or knit. I at times awake with 3 fingers on right hand totally numb. Often dizzy, ringing in my ears (tinnitus). Not certain if that is related or not?

Discomfort at night, difficult to get comfortable. At time, must throw off my wonderful foam pillow, take off the necklace and use the dog bone pillow. Sometimes the neck, shoulder and head pain wakes me up.

I used to sleep on my side. Can no longer do that due to pain.

Already taking Gabapentin. I take Tylenol all day and night. At first doc thought it might be reaction to Tylenol. Stopped all Tylenol, no relief. Using 1/2-1 muscle relaxer at night.

I have fibromyalgia and osteoarthritis. When TMJ flares I am a mess. And now this.

China gel – (menthol rub) can help, but only for a short time. I have joked I need to shower in it. Using an Ice pack when the pain is really bad.

Already had rotator repair in right shoulder twice, partial tears. I think that is torn again, but not eager to repeat surgery and neck is worse than shoulder though shoulder aches daily.

No cartilage in my right thumb joint. Degenerative disc disease in lower back. Is that what this is?  How to treat it?

Well I saw the Physician Assistant and the x-ray showed cervical spondylosis and radiculopathy. She sent me to PT and gave me a steroid pack.

Messed up the very first day!

I began by not reading the tiny print and took all the first day tablets at once. What a doofus!

PT suggested a new pillow (through Amazon) and a cervical collar. I purchased both. The cervical collar is a deal you inflate and sit with for 10 minutes, twice a day.

I look thrilled, right?

One journal entry reads: The pain last night was frightening. After cooking for several hours my neck began to hurt. Actually I began to hurt all over. Then I got the traction collar thinking that would help. It felt good, but did not help the pain. By the time I got ready for bed I was almost in tears. China gel on neck. Towels upon new pillow to try to contain the menthol fragrance. There is something here I did not reckon upon. Can cooking  for several hours, looking down at the counter, the skillet, the various pans, lifting the pressure cooker off the flour, the flour canister … do any/all of those actions make my neck worse?

The steroids hit me really hard. I will think long and hard before I take those again. Sleeplessness, drenching sweats in my sleep, yuck. Physician’s Assistant also said to stop the Diclofenac I take for arthritis pain as it can make steroid side effects worse. I was not thrilled, but I followed her advice. I did have fewer digestive issues this round of steroids.

The PT exercises are questionable. The therapist is certain my shoulder is okay as my strength there is good. Some exercises make me feel much worse. I wonder if the others are doing anything? I will persist and talk myself into doing them more. I am no where near the reps the therapist wants me to get to.

There was a saying “After 40 we patch, patch, patch.” I have added “After 70 we just crumble.” But I am alive. None of this is likely to kill me. I continue to cling to my prayer.

I am determined that this day, each time I am drawn up short by pain, I will praise You, for I love You better than life – even better than quality of life.

Lord, I cling to You!

Even to your old age and gray hairs
    I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
    I will sustain you and I will rescue you.
Isaiah 46:4 NIV

God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5c NIV

Closer to Publication of Second Book!

Dana and I read the proof copy. I listed edits that I found in the text. I changed the publication date so that we would have plenty of time to make said changes. She went to a Dulcimer convention out of town. One night, right before bed, I checked my email to be certain there was not something there concerning Prayer Team that I might need to tend to. I was shocked to see that Kindle had sent me a message that I only had a little over 24 hours to make changes.

After the dust settled I had to write it all down to decompress. The following is what I wrote. Seems funny now. At the time it was NOT funny. Bob said I should post this.

They say that having a book published is like giving birth. Tonight I felt as if the Kindle machine was starting Pitocin and the father was not present.  It was too soon. The edits were not yet submitted. I panicked. (Where was my faith?)

I went from the iPad mini to the desktop to try to change the publication date again so that the edits could be made next week. Nothing was working right.

I finally hit the place where you talk with a bot. That was not real effective so I chose chat with live person.

Helan assured me I could change the date. Then I had to submit the change, keep approving until I got to pricing page and then hit Publish. I really froze up then. IT IS NOT READY. She basically said trust me. I did what she said. The Kindle Direct machine then said it would review my manuscript and that could take up to 72 hours. Until then the account would lock. I took screen shots of the texts. I wanted proof if this thing got printed without the final edits.

I realized there was nothing more I could do until Monday. Except I could pray. I left Grogu in my desk chair to watch over the book.

Physical therapist had pointed out that I need to smash down my new pillow closer to the thickness of my old worn out one. I got the new foam pillow out of the closet and literally knelt down on the floor on the pillow in prayer. This is God’s book, not mine. I prayed for the prayer teams who will be serving this Sunday. I prayed for forgiveness that I did not trust the Amazon tech more. I prayed for forgiveness that I do not trust my Father more. I prayed Dana has a great time at her dulcimer convention.

I got up from my knees and went to get a clean pillow case. I realized then I feel like an imposter. I understand imposter syndrome. Someone said to me this week, “You really are an author!” Not so certain about that but I am dizzy with anticipation and steroids and neck pops. Praying I actually get sleep tonight. Lord, Your lamb needs You.

The contractions have subsided now. The panic is receding. Hoping sleep is just around the corner. This woman is beat!

Guess I better tackle this imposter attitude before it makes trouble. “The original imposter syndrome study in the 1970s revolved around high-achieving women who had trouble attributing their own success to themselves”, one on-line source said. Perhaps I am guilty of that?

“Imposter syndrome is the voice inside your head telling you that you don’t belong, while discrimination is the voice of others telling you the same thing,” explains Dr. Albers. “The distinction is crucial because it highlights that imposter syndrome is a personal struggle that can be addressed through self-reflection and cognitive reframing whereas discrimination requires societal change and advocacy.” https://wockr.org/a-psychologist-explains-how-to-deal-with-imposter-syndrome/

So, this is just a bump in road at 10:45 PM after a long day and a chaotic week. Things are not awful and perhaps locking the account is good. No worries about it over the weekend.

I found the copyright information the next morning and updated the Proof Changes for Dana’s use. I sent it along to her. The new final date for changes came through email. I likely missed some errors, but that is done for now.

So my friends, the new book ought to be available to you on May 1, 2026 through Amazon. (I already found an error in the Table of Contents. Will be amazed if that is the ONLY error!) If you can’t find the title Poems, just type in my name. That ought to bring it up!

Plentitude

Here is a great quote:

Gratitude places you in the energy field of plentitude. Glow with gratitude and see how awe and joy will make their home in you. Michael Bernard Beckwith

Br. David Steindl-Rast shares this compelling invitation: “Imagine a society in which mutual trust has the leverage that our present social order accords to fear. Imagine a society in which mutual caring has the leverage that our present social order accords to egotism. If we reach the critical mass of grateful people, a surprising reorientation can take place.”

Brother David has amazing insights and goals that boggle my mind. I want to live in the world he imagines. Mutual trust, mutual caring and a critical mass of grateful people! Yes! Let’s do that instead of all the other nonsense politicians and reporters spend time upon.

Mutual Trust

Mutual Caring

Gratefulness.

Give those a try.

The Same Yet Utterly Different

This is from a meditation sent by Practicing the Way during Holy Week.

“It’s still shocking: Jesus passed through death and, as you read these words, inhabits a body that ate Galilean fish and bears puncture marks from the cross, and yet is utterly different — a “walking, talking piece of new creation,” in the words of BibleProject’s Tim Mackie.

Have you contemplated this idea? Jesus, right now and right there with you, too! Our wonderful Jesus, passed from death into life and per the promise of the Father into us to live and dwell and direct our steps.

Oh such glory to God!

16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, to be with you forever. 17 This is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him because he abides with you, and he will be in you.

1“I will not leave you orphaned; I am coming to you. 19 In a little while the world will no longer see me, but you will see me; because I live, you also will live. 20 On that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you. 21 They who have my commandments and keep them are those who love me, and those who love me will be loved by my Father, and I will love them and reveal myself to them.” John 14:16-21 NRSVUE

The same, “yet utterly different.”

It is said He walked on earth fifty days before the ascension. As He lives and moves within us I propose that He is still walking the earth. Ponder that. Pray with that idea. Thank the Almighty for this amazing work.

Oh. Brings me to stillness and quiet within. Let all the earth keep silence before Him. Let all the earth declare His mighty works of glory.

 If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will give life to your mortal bodies also through his Spirit that dwells in you. Romans 8:11 NRSVUE

Surrender to the Holy Spirit. Let Christ live and move through you. Wait before the Lord in every endeavor. Trust God to work through you as you walk in obedience to the Almighty. Be amazed at the Indwelling Christ. And give thanks.