And around us and as this wonderful poet expresses, under foot also! If you click on the link it should take you to poem and photo by Tyler Pederson.
Autumn has prompted all sorts of things in me. Here is an urban observation.
The sky is full of sticks
empty of leaves
the bones of the trees
show their structure.
Low fog over the leaf littered yard
Then fog moved and
I saw the doe grazing
and then another one.
Sirens fill the air,
deer listen.
Do you know this poem by Grant Colfax Tullar?
My life is but a weaving
between by God and me;
I cannot choose the colors
He worketh steadily.
Oft' times He weaveth sorrow
And I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper
And I the underside.
Not 'til the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly,
Will God unroll the canvas
And explain the reason why.
The dark threads area as needful
in the Weaver's skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned.
He knows, He loves, He cares;
Nothing this truth can dim.
He gives the very best to those
Who leave the choice to Him.
Bob and I both have some medical issues going on. We would appreciate your prayers for wisdom on for us and especially for the medical personnel involved. Details will follow when decisions are made. Until then, appreciate what you can see of the weaving of your life that is between your God and you. I like the part about “I cannot choose the colors. He works steadily.”
Pastor Bob Gerhardt tried his best to teach me that control IS indeed an illusion. I might be embracing that teaching much more today than when he first introduced it to me.
Here and now is the present moment, the only life we have, RIGHT NOW. When we don’t like what we see most of us tend to avoid looking. Like a child on a stormy night who takes little peaks from under the covers, we only glance occasionally at what is going on.
This used to be me. I am trying to pray for the strength and courage that I need to face my life. The quote below got my attention.
ROSHI PAT ENKYO O’HARA ( Molly has no idea who this is)
“Look directly at all of our experience,” and by doing that the writer showed a discovery. Our thoughts and ideas about what our life is or is about to become usually differs from reality. Isn’t that strange? We think we are so advanced and educated and civilized. Then suddenly we discover that our thinking is faulty, wrong, ideas all askew.
Sometimes the reality is better, sometimes worse. I believe the thrust here is the difference.
As I write this Bob is baking my favorite birthday cake. I know he is taking it out of the oven because the timer just rang. The sound I am hearing is him poking holes in the white cake so the cream of coconut that he pours over the batter will soak into the cake. It is so rich and sweet that each year I only allow myself a smaller and smaller piece or my glucose levels go wild. But the taste of this cake is delicious. Yes, like it or not I am a Type 2 diabetic. Nothing will change that. I can lengthen my life somewhat by monitoring what I eat. I can shorten it by years if I choose to ignore the dietary guidelines and eat whatever I want.
When I was first diagnosed I was terrified. I began measuring portions for almost every single meal. I learned to count calories and carbs for the first time in my life. Eventually I calmed down and began to find the meals and combinations that are ‘safe’ for me, appropriate portions without being so very frightened about it. (Pizza and beer is not a good low carb combination!)
This year I turn 76. I take lots of medication and even insulin injections for the diabetes. So far, I do not need to test and inject at every meal. There does not SEEM to be an insulin pump in my future. Looking at my overall health gives a much better picture of reality than a single day or evening.
“Be intimate with what is actually here now.” Are you? Rick Hansen, wrote in his book Just One Thing, that there is power is saying to ourselves, “I am okay right now. I am okay right now.” Some of us tend to awfulize about what MIGHT happen. “Awfulize refers to an irrational and dramatic thought pattern, characterized by the tendency to overestimate the potential seriousness or negative consequences of events, situations, or perceived threats.” https://psychologydictionary.org/awfulizing/
We can also catastrophize. “Catastrophizing is a cognitive distortion that prompts people to jump to the worst possible conclusion, usually with very limited information or objective reason to despair. When a situation is upsetting, but not necessarily catastrophic, they still feel like they are in the midst of a crisis.” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/catastrophizing Are you prone to jump to despair?
Is life a catastrophy? Is it truly awful?
But what about right now? This very minute. Are you okay right now? To me one of the most important things that Rick Hanson, phd, wrote in his book Just One Thing is the idea he gained through his psychology practice of directing patients to the present moment and asking them, to take a “close look at this moment, right now. Probably, you are basically all right: no one is attacking you, you are not drowning, no bombs are falling, there is no crisis. It’s not perfect, but you’re okay.” He goes on to suggest, “In daily life, it’s possible to access this fundamental sense of all-rightness even while getting things done..”
He goes on to write, “The fear that bad things will happen if you let yourself feel okay is unfounded; let this sink in. You do not need to fear feeling all right!”
If you have not gotten this book yet, please do. Purchase it for yourself or check your local library. He also gives advice for when you are really NOT all right.
Amy Carmichael wrote: “Can you find a promise that if we follow the Lord Jesus Christ, life is going to be fairly easy? I do not think we shall find even one. But we shall find ever so many promises assuring us that however things are, we may count on strength to make us brave, and peace to keep our hearts at rest.
“Because this is so, our Lord and Captain expects us to be “sons of valor,” as the word translated “valiant” in the Old Testament means. And He is saying to each of us what King David said long ago to his friends: “Now let your hands be strengthened and be ye valiant, be ye sons (and daughters) of valor.”
So many misguided Christians thinking life with Jesus will be easy. Not one single verse to support that. One Pastor used to say “There are no rainbows and unicorns in the Kingdom walk.” We do not go skipping like faux-princes and faux-princesses through life.
“Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees 13 and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed.” Hebrews 12:12-13 NRSVUE
The verse does not say God will make straight paths; we are told to make them. LIFE IS HARD. We are told to lift our drooping hands and strengthen our weak knees. And (especially when we cannot do it ourselves), we are told to ALWAYS cry out to the Lord of heaven and earth for help.
God gives strength to make us brave, and peace to keep our hearts at rest. Are you willing to receive that? Will you cry out to God for help?
So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. 2 Timothy 2:22 ESV
I was totally unfamiliar with this hymn before our recent retreat. The leader was also an accomplished pianist and singer. He led us singing a verse of the hymn at each session.
According to Hymnary.org the topic of the hymn “deals with comfort, rest, confession, forgiveness, grief, sorrow, Lent, atonement, Good Friday, judgment.” I would add assurance, peace, and thankfulness.
This is unlike most of the music I post about. The arrangement below was offered at Easter I believe. I love that after orchestral accompaniment verse 4 is sung a cappella.
The tree originates in Revelation 22:1-2 NRSVUE. Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, bright as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb 2 through the middle of the street of the city. On either side of the river is the tree of life with its twelve kinds of fruit, producing its fruit each month, and the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations.
Below the lyrics is the YouTube music if you care to play it while reading the lyrics.
There in God’s Garden stands the Tree of Wisdom
whose leaves hold forth the healing of the nations
Tree of all knowledge, Tree of all compassion
Tree of all beauty.
Its name is Jesus, name that says “Our Savior”
There on its branches see the scars of suffering
See there the tendrils of our human selfhood
on its life blood.
Thorns not its own are tangled in its foliage
Our greed has starved it, our despite has choked it
Yet,look! It lives! Its grief has not destroyed it
nor fire consumed it.
See how its branches reach to us in welcome
Hear what the Voice says, “Come to me, ye weary”
Give me your sickness, give me all your sorrow
I will give blessing.
This is my ending this my resurrection;
into your hands, Lord, I commit my spirit.
This have I searched for; now I can possess it.
This ground in holy.
All heav'n is singing, "Thanks to Christ whose passion
offers in mercy, healing, strength, and pardon.
Peoples and nations, take it, take it freely!"
Amen! My Master!
I have kept the lyrics on the dining room table thinking I might learn it better that way. I have played it on Amazon music and YouTube. I cannot say I have learned it but it does refresh my soul! It certainly give hope.
Are you looking forward to being allowed to partake from this tree? Do you ever give it any thought? I have to admit that, yes, I have the read the passage from Revelation more than once, but no, I truly had not given it any thought before that retreat.
My neighbors have become dear friends over the last four years. They are snowbirds, which means they make me VERY uncomfortable. They are here for 5 months and then depart for 7 months or so. When they are here we are often at each other’s door. Sharing food, or borrowing something. Walking Lucky together in the afternoon. Having a meal at a favorite Mexican restaurant. Sharing snacks and an evening of Euchre. And then poof! they are gone.
We get to use their garage while they are gone. During their long time away we usually go into their home once a week or so to turn lights off and on, open blinds, flush toilets, etc. Their departure is hard on all of us, including their adult son and his young family who live here in Cincinnati. Two of her brothers live in Lima, Ohio and Indianapolis so they too miss this couple when they fly south. Yes, I experienced angst as the date drew closer.
His health has been declining rapidly and this year will be especially hard getting him through the airports and back home to Florida. When I read the selection for Lectio 365 the morning of their departure I immediately sent it along to her. She felt it was from God through me and read it before she climbed out of bed. So glad I could send her some comfort and strength.
“I choose to rejoice in the God who holds my hand today, joining with the ancient praise of all God’s people in the words of Psalm 73…
You hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever. Psalm 73:23b–26 (NLT)
She determined to hold the hand of God throughout the day as they traveled. Travel is VERY hard work and the older I get the more I declare that. Imagine traveling with a loved one in stage 4 Parkinson’s disease! Nightmare.
Lectio went on to pray:
“I join David now, bringing my whole body before the Lord in prayer.
I bring attention to my eyes.
What attracts my gaze? Is anything distracting me?
Jesus, I fix my eyes on you. Help me keep my focus on you throughout this day.
I look down at my right hand.
Is anything making me nervous today? Or causing my hand to tremble?
Make me unshakably confident that, as I hold onto you, I am held.
I place a hand on my heart.
Is my heart glad today? Or is it heavy with sorrow?
Holy Spirit, fill me with supernatural gladness as I invite your presence.”
https://lectio365.24-7prayer.com/share/devotionals/2026-10-19/morning?locale=en
I miss our friends and neighbors. They say friends are the family you choose. We have chosen this couple. I am glad they made it back to Florida safely. I will miss them as they continue to journey with Christ through the awful disease of Parkinson’s. They remain in my prayers.
Oh my. A friend just asked me to pray. Her parents are considering buying a larger home where the young family and the older folks can all live together. I agreed that I would pray for them, but my heart was so sad that my young, vibrant neighbor who loves God might leave the neighborhood.
Her prayer is that if this is God’s will the doors to make it possible will fly open. If it is not God’s will and just the plan the humans have dreamed up, nothing will make it go.
As Gamaliel advised: “But a Pharisee in the council named Gamaliel, a teacher of the law, respected by all the people, stood up and ordered the men to be put outside for a short time. So in the present case, I tell you, keep away from these men and let them alone, because if this plan or this undertaking is of human origin, it will fail; 39 but if it is of God, you will not be able to overthrow them—in that case you may even be found fighting against God Acts 5:34, 38-39 NRSUV
It was such a gain to meet this young woman when we first moved in. It would be such a loss to me and others to have her leave the neighborhood. Losses and gains: such is life.
Corrie ten Boom advised Chuck Swindoll (and others too) to hold all things loosely. I first heard that lesson when my kids were becoming older teenagers. I need to remember the same lesson now. Us old folks tend to get crusty and stuck in our ways. Somehow we think things will always be the way they are right now – both the good and the bad things. God sends changes to each season to try to convince us to honor and cherish each stage of our lives. Still, I tend to get stuck.
Corrie said, “Pastor Swindoll, you must learn to told everything loosely – everything. Even your dear family. Why? Because the Father may wish to take one of them back to Himself, and when He does, it will hurt you if He must pry your fingers loose.”
Oh Molly, open your hands! Rejoice at the many blessings God has sent your way! Let it all stay loosely present to you. When a blessing is removed, remember how wonderful it was.
My daughter loaned me a book called “Raising Hare, a Memoir” by Chloe Dalton. I told Bob I might need to purchase the book. I keep wanting to write in it, underline passages, turn down corners, (none of which have I done). This tome especially moves me because in 2020 we found baby rabbits in our front garden, right by the front steps. {This week I have been loving our flower beds with the cheer they bring me in the midst of the panic and chaos of pandemic. I have picked and delivered multiple bouquets to neighbors and even my sister. I did notice that I need to get out there and spruce up the front flower bed from the dead leaves of last winter and general chickweed, etc. A clump of Hyacinths near the front door were especially packed with dead grass.
Today I looked and thought, “That is unnatural to have that much dead grass around the hyacinths.” Taking a break from writing I decided to move it away so the bulbs could flourish. As I reached down I realized I should probably use my handy table knife that I keep there for cleaning off shoes, just in case some mouse or unsavory had decided to move in. So I grabbed the knife and began to lift and move the grass. Noticed fur and WHAM!! there were little tiny eyes and ears. Nope, not mice! Baby bunnies!! I hurried put the grass back in place.} Many years earlier I had heard a rabbit get killed by a cat. It literally screamed. I will never forget how human the cry was. When we discovered these little bunnies we knew they were not safe jumping around the flowerbed. Plus, we owned a dog at the time and it was just a matter of time before she found them, too.https://treasuresinplainsight.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=2450&action=edit and https://treasuresinplainsight.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=2467&action=edit
Why tell you all of this? I had to capture one tiny bunny to try to put it back in the nest. I can still recall the sensation of that fluffy fur in the palm of my hand. Yes, the mother rabbit came and moved the buns. I never heard one being killed, I did not find any piles of fur. But I gained a sweet memory in that one moment holding that little one.
Sure the book is about hares in the English countryside, not American cotton tail rabbits, but I am eating it up. What memory do you have that is precious to you? When the circumstances around it changed did you feel a loss?
Can you discern the way losses and gains move like the seasons?
Rejoice at the many blessings God has sent your way! Let it all stay loosely present to you. When a blessing is removed, remember how wonderful it was.
I was in the back garden last week and as I looked down I saw nasturtium seeds above the ground! I realized these were grown by my plants over the summer. I picked them up and brought them inside to dry for planting next spring. I was really glad I did because 2 days later I saw a chipmunk foraging in the same area! Had I not gotten the seeds when I did that chipmunk would have stuffed its cheeks and carried them away! I am certain he will find other seeds in the garden that I missed. The nasturtiums are almost finished for 2026. Each time I pick a small bouquet I think, “Oh this is likely the last one!” Until a hard freeze I might be able to enjoy them. Then it will be losses and gains again.
The rose pictured above has a few more buds on it. One large maple is all yellow and green now. The mowers set their blades lower this week. Autumn is upon us. Lord, help us remember that each season offers losses and also gains. Ha! I just saw the first slate colored Junco return for the winter 🙂
I was playing music in my car from my favorite songs on a data stick. The next day I kept hearing a melody. Then a few words. Finally, I realized I was hearing the bridge from a song by a group called the Newsboys. The song is entitled We Believe.
The following are the words from the bridge:
So, let our faith be more than anthems
Greater than the songs we sing
And in our weakness and temptations
We believe
We believe
Anthem: 1. A hymn of praise or loyalty. 2. A choral composition having a sacred or moralizing text in English.
"Our faith greater than the songs we sing", so necessary if we are to push through our difficulties and struggles. Songs help, but there are times when there are no songs. There are times I am hard pressed to even remember a melody!
Here are the lyrics of the song followed by a music video.
[Verse 1]
In this time of desperation
When all we know is doubt and fear
There is only one foundation
We believe, we believe
[Verse 2]
In this broken generation
When all is dark, You help us see
There is only one salvation
We believe, we believe
[Chorus]
We believe in God the Father
We believe in Jesus Christ
We believe in the Holy Spirit
And He's given us new life
We believe in the Crucifixion
We believe that He conquered death
We believe in the Resurrection
And He's comin' back again
We believe
[Verse 3] (I called it the bridge)
So, let our faith be more than anthems
Greater than the songs we sing
And in our weakness and temptations
We believe, we believe
Here is a video of the song.
Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who has promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23 NRSVUE
How is your courage today? Perhaps you did not need to call upon courage at all today? Maybe you feel as if all your courage drained out like dishwater from the sink. Most of us need courage in some aspect of our life.
MAYA ANGELOU
Do you have the courage to be consistent in your walk and life with Jesus? Each day a new beginning but hopefully with the same conviction to honor God and do the will of the Almighty over your own wishes and desires.
I have found that courage comes with increased trust in the will of God for my life. I do believe the often quoted verse in Jeremiah 29: 11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
There is a woman who is watching her husband fold under the ravages of Parkinson’s disease. She must do almost everything for him now. She requires courage to face every day. Recently she went to the store and for some reason her phone ringer was turned off. While she was away he had an episode of illness. The Paramedics tried to call her to tell her they were transporting her husband to the local hospital. They did not get an answer and left no message on the phone. Through the intervention of the Holy Spirit and the quick action of neighbors she was notified by text and actually arrived at the hospital before the ambulance.
Living with someone who suffers from a terrible disease requires courage on the part of the one who is not suffering the same malady. She needs courage to keep placing one foot in front of the other. She requires courage to face the unknown future. This is a terrible disease that will ravage his being and most likely require he will eventually be cared for at a nursing facility. For now, she is his nurse, his wife, his chief cook and dishwasher. She, too, has a disease. Though it is a rare one, it takes a toll on her every season.
God, our Father, give these caregivers the courage to walk with their loved ones day in and day out as they suffer and experience the various stages of disease.
The Benedictines remind us to keep death always before us. Most of us stuff that idea under the sofa cushions and refuse to even examine the truth therein.
By keeping death always before us we come to cherish life more than if we pretend death will never happen to us. Life is precious and to be enjoyed. Even when it is not enjoyable, there are gifts in our midst. A TV sports conflict to take our minds off ourselves. The taste of a lovely coconut macaroon to delight our senses. The change of seasons to bring us fresh air. The softness of a pet’s fur. The songs of cricket and tree frogs. The shadow cast by objects under the light of a full moon on a clear night.
We can embrace the fact of our coming death and say no to denial. I have repeatedly come across the idea that we have been dying ever since we were born. There is a mystery in birth that is not to be considered greater than the mystery in death. We are all hurtling towards death the moment we are born. As someone has said, “I do not fear dying. It is how I am to die that has been shivering in my boots.”
Memento mori means remember that you have to die. Once I wrote in this blog about being aghast at seeing the star of The Chosen wearing skull rings. Then I realized they were to remind him he too will have to die. Here is a video short where he explains ….
Courage to live this day fully. Yes, Lord, I need courage for that!
Chronic means: continuing or occurring again and again for a long time. Being, providing, or requiring long-term medical care. Always present or encountered, especially : constantly vexing, weakening, or troubling.
This pain will not go away. Yes, it waxes and wanes, but it is never going to leave me until I die. I get so tired of it all. Lately I have especially had great difficulty when trying to get to sleep at night.
Today I will not have any caffeine at all in the afternoon. I will set up sleep meditations in case I cannot drift off on my own.
There are times when no matter how I prepare or take care of myself the chronic pain disrupts my life, my goals, my rhythm of living. There has not been a medication found to treat this. There are a few that help with some of the symptoms, but nothing that covers the umbrella of distress. It is chronic and sometimes crushing. I tell Bob there are times I feel as if I have been ground into a powder.
Why am I putting this in the blog? Well, there are likely others out there struggling with this or a similar problem. Sometimes I can get away from the all consuming pain sensations by getting focused upon a challenge or a project such as writing. Even one hour of departure from the torture chamber can be good. Cooking for an hour while singing favorite praise music can help. Sadly not every hour of the day can be spent planning a project, performing a task or rejoicing over a task completed.
I keep hearing snippets of a poem from 1985. When I looked for it just now it was about relationship trouble, not necessarily physical struggle.
Eleven Fifty-three Post Meridiem ©Molly Lin Dutina
Nighttime and the Unresolved
Come marching to my bedroom
Tramping through my head
Hurling accusations
Quoting words once said
Reason takes a low profile
While logic flees the scene
Where is the solution
For circumstances now turned mean
Never, shoulds, and woulds
Paint dismal, hopeless scenes
Understanding vanishes
Deep each insult bleeds.
Forgiveness is the answer
That makes the war to cease.
Let it go. Let go. Release.
Present moment calls to me
Be NowHere in God’s sweet peace
A song can be resung
The past can’t be undone
But pouring in forgiveness
The fall-out is made numb
Come to here and now
Feast on today’s plenty
In gratitude for all
Dare to now drink deeply
From streams of joy and love
We are granted
Only to
“Live our lives by moments”
Aren’t we now
1985
Though “Come to the here and now, feast on today’s plenty, in gratitude for all” does help me cope. When I come to the here and now in a painful night I have to place my focus upon Jesus Christ who loves me better than I love myself. I offer my pain on behalf of another. (I am not quite certain how that works, but I make the offering regardless.) I remember to breathe in Jesus and breathe out me, or breathe out my pain. I try not to watch the clock. Rest, just rest. Sink into the center down silence of love and peace.
I am seriously a work in progress. There is no medication that can help me with this. With St. Patrick I try to “arise today through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity with belief in the threeness and confession of the oneness towards the Creator.” Help me Lord not to project fear or negativity on this day and whatever it might bring. Help me to lie down tonight in Your arms of love and rest in Your everlasting care.
I will try to remember to pray compline especially with the wonderful portion of Psalm 4
verse 8 I lie down in peace; at once I call asleep; for only you, LORD, make me dwell in safety.
