Category: Trust

Posted on in Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Focus, Listen, Look, Praise, Rest, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Thanks, Trust

Project Completed

It is not unusual when I complete a project to feel a release, a let down, perhaps a turning loose of the tension. When I was in retreat and folks around me were celebrating the publication of the book of poems, I was asking the Lord, “What next?”

Several times during the appointed times of prayer at the Convent we read Psalm 139. Verse 4 in the prayer book, which is verse 5 in most Bibles, struck me. The first time I just noted it. The second time I wrote it out. Now I have been doing some study through the Logos app regarding that verse.

The promises here are astounding. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Even though I do not feel your touch, your word assures me you lay your hand upon me. I am yours. I am never abandoned, never alone. You shall lead me and hold me fast.

Matthew Henry wrote: “Thou knowest me in every part of me: Thou hast beset me behind and before, so that, go which way I will, I am under thy eye and cannot possibly escape it. Thou hast laid thy hand upon me, and I cannot run away from thee.” Wherever we are we are under the eye and hand of God. Perhaps it is an allusion to the physician’s laying his hand upon his patient to feel how his pulse beats or what temper he is in. God knows us as we know not only what we see, but what we feel and have our hands upon. All his saints are in his hand which tenderly holds their aching head.

U wrote: In proportion as we are fully reconciled to God, and love Him, and rejoice in Him, it will become a cause of joy to reflect that our best Friend is never away from us, that our Protector’s hand is never removed, that the great observant eye of divine love is never closed. 

He continues, “We may judge as to our position before God by this test—is the thought of His constant observation of us a subject of joy or of dread? If we dread it, surely we have the old spirit of bondage still upon us. But if we rejoice in it, then we may know that we have received the Spirit of adoption whereby we cry, “Abba, Father.”  Spurgeon went on to take a military point of view with the idea of Beset me behind and before. My response was, “Really? Do we have to take that view?”

Nelson Study Bible said, “The purpose of His intimate knowledge of His servants is protective and helpful, not judgmental and condemning.”

Yes Lord, I believe this. You protect and help me. As I confess my sins you are faithful and just to forgive me my sins and cleanse me from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9) Therefore, I can rest in your encompassing care and closeness. You are my Abba, Father.

And the New Commentary on the Whole Bible by J D Douglas 1990 says,”laid thine hand upon me—This is the body language of blessing (Gen. 48:14, 17). This level of being known and accepted overwhelms the psalmist.”

For me there is nothing to fear in these verses, nothing to run from. Why would I not accept the hand of blessing from my God upon my head? We are known and loved. Do not be overwhelmed. Sit with your God and receive.

Posted on in Faith, Focus, Joy, Listen, Obedience, Praise, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Trust, Yield

Psalm 16 Repeats

Have you ever noticed a Bible verse repeating over and over again in your life?

In our recent readings for the Second Sunday of Easter we read Psalm 16. Verse 11 is especially meaningful to me.

“You show me the path of life.
    In your presence there is fullness of joy;
    in your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Psalm 16:11 NRSVUE

When I skipped church as a young teenager and walked the paths in the park worshiping God, it seemed as if David’s experience was my experience, too.

In 1993 I attended a silent retreat. When Psalm 16 came up I felt led to take verse 8 with me and practice God’s presence as I walked the Convent grounds.

I keep the Lord always before me;
    because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Psalm 16:8 NRSVUE

The practice that day deepened my faith and my trust in this God who is always at my right hand. Isaiah 42: 6 verses a and b go along with this verse.

“I am the Lord, I have called you in righteousness,
    I have taken you by the hand and kept you…”

When I attended the Jewish funeral service for our dear “Aunt Cloty Gutman” in May, 2002 they read this Psalm. I was deeply touched as I remembered again that we both shared trust in this God whom David extolled.

The path of life, fullness of joy, pleasures forevermore … why would I seek after anything else?

I learned early in life that the God of Jesus is Who I wanted to seek. After dabbling in things of the world and even tasting the occult, I realized that only Jesus is eternal. Only God Almighty is going on forever. That is Who I want to follow. That is Who I want as my leader.

Protect me, God,
for you are my refuge.
2 I said to Adonai, “You are my Lord;
I have nothing good outside of you.”
3 The holy people in the land are the ones
who are worthy of honor; all my pleasure is in them.

4 Those who run after another god
multiply their sorrows;
To such gods I will not offer
drink offerings of blood
or take their names on my lips.

5 Adonai, my assigned portion, my cup:
you safeguard my share.
6 Pleasant places were measured out for me;
I am content with my heritage.

7 I bless Adonai, my counselor;
at night my inmost being instructs me.
8 I always set Adonai before me;
with him at my right hand, I can never be moved;
9 so my heart is glad, my glory rejoices,
and my body too rests in safety;
10 for you will not abandon me to Sh’ol,
you will not let your faithful one see the Abyss.
11 You make me know the path of life;
in your presence is unbounded joy,
in your right hand eternal delight. The Complete Jewish Bible

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Illness and Health, Just do it, Prayer, Surrender, Trust, Yield

Health News

Well that pain in my neck is not just from my unruly neighbors or a bad night of sleep. I have been learning what it means to live with cervical spondylosis and radiculopathy (compression or irritation of a spinal nerve). Seems more like ridiculousness than radiculopathy!

I decided to seek medical help when my neck began popping, sometimes 10 times in an hour. For several years I have had daily headaches the doc could not explain. Also recently some numbness in hands when I crochet or knit. I at times awake with 3 fingers on right hand totally numb. Often dizzy, ringing in my ears (tinnitus). Not certain if that is related or not?

Discomfort at night, difficult to get comfortable. At time, must throw off my wonderful foam pillow, take off the necklace and use the dog bone pillow. Sometimes the neck, shoulder and head pain wakes me up.

I used to sleep on my side. Can no longer do that due to pain.

Already taking Gabapentin. I take Tylenol all day and night. At first doc thought it might be reaction to Tylenol. Stopped all Tylenol, no relief. Using 1/2-1 muscle relaxer at night.

I have fibromyalgia and osteoarthritis. When TMJ flares I am a mess. And now this.

China gel – (menthol rub) can help, but only for a short time. I have joked I need to shower in it. Using an Ice pack when the pain is really bad.

Already had rotator repair in right shoulder twice, partial tears. I think that is torn again, but not eager to repeat surgery and neck is worse than shoulder though shoulder aches daily.

No cartilage in my right thumb joint. Degenerative disc disease in lower back. Is that what this is?  How to treat it?

Well I saw the Physician Assistant and the x-ray showed cervical spondylosis and radiculopathy. She sent me to PT and gave me a steroid pack.

Messed up the very first day!

I began by not reading the tiny print and took all the first day tablets at once. What a doofus!

PT suggested a new pillow (through Amazon) and a cervical collar. I purchased both. The cervical collar is a deal you inflate and sit with for 10 minutes, twice a day.

I look thrilled, right?

One journal entry reads: The pain last night was frightening. After cooking for several hours my neck began to hurt. Actually I began to hurt all over. Then I got the traction collar thinking that would help. It felt good, but did not help the pain. By the time I got ready for bed I was almost in tears. China gel on neck. Towels upon new pillow to try to contain the menthol fragrance. There is something here I did not reckon upon. Can cooking  for several hours, looking down at the counter, the skillet, the various pans, lifting the pressure cooker off the flour, the flour canister … do any/all of those actions make my neck worse?

The steroids hit me really hard. I will think long and hard before I take those again. Sleeplessness, drenching sweats in my sleep, yuck. Physician’s Assistant also said to stop the Diclofenac I take for arthritis pain as it can make steroid side effects worse. I was not thrilled, but I followed her advice. I did have fewer digestive issues this round of steroids.

The PT exercises are questionable. The therapist is certain my shoulder is okay as my strength there is good. Some exercises make me feel much worse. I wonder if the others are doing anything? I will persist and talk myself into doing them more. I am no where near the reps the therapist wants me to get to.

There was a saying “After 40 we patch, patch, patch.” I have added “After 70 we just crumble.” But I am alive. None of this is likely to kill me. I continue to cling to my prayer.

I am determined that this day, each time I am drawn up short by pain, I will praise You, for I love You better than life – even better than quality of life.

Lord, I cling to You!

Even to your old age and gray hairs
    I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
    I will sustain you and I will rescue you. Isaiah 46:4 NIV

God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5c NIV

Posted on in Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Listen, Look, Obedience, Poetry, Surrender, Thanks, Trust, Writing Life, Yield

Closer to Publication of Second Book!

Dana and I read the proof copy. I listed edits that I found in the text. I changed the publication date so that we would have plenty of time to make said changes. She went to a Dulcimer convention out of town. One night, right before bed, I checked my email to be certain there was not something there concerning Prayer Team that I might need to tend to. I was shocked to see that Kindle had sent me a message that I only had a little over 24 hours to make changes.

After the dust settled I had to write it all down to decompress. The following is what I wrote. Seems funny now. At the time it was NOT funny. Bob said I should post this.

They say that having a book published is like giving birth. Tonight I felt as if the Kindle machine was starting Pitocin and the father was not present.  It was too soon. The edits were not yet submitted. I panicked. (Where was my faith?)

I went from the iPad mini to the desktop to try to change the publication date again so that the edits could be made next week. Nothing was working right.

I finally hit the place where you talk with a bot. That was not real effective so I chose chat with live person.

Helan assured me I could change the date. Then I had to submit the change, keep approving until I got to pricing page and then hit Publish. I really froze up then. IT IS NOT READY. She basically said trust me. I did what she said. The Kindle Direct machine then said it would review my manuscript and that could take up to 72 hours. Until then the account would lock. I took screen shots of the texts. I wanted proof if this thing got printed without the final edits.

I realized there was nothing more I could do until Monday. Except I could pray. I left Grogu in my desk chair to watch over the book.

Physical therapist had pointed out that I need to smash down my new pillow closer to the thickness of my old worn out one. I got the new foam pillow out of the closet and literally knelt down on the floor on the pillow in prayer. This is God’s book, not mine. I prayed for the prayer teams who will be serving this Sunday. I prayed for forgiveness that I did not trust the Amazon tech more. I prayed for forgiveness that I do not trust my Father more. I prayed Dana has a great time at her dulcimer convention.

I got up from my knees and went to get a clean pillow case. I realized then I feel like an imposter. I understand imposter syndrome. Someone said to me this week, “You really are an author!” Not so certain about that but I am dizzy with anticipation and steroids and neck pops. Praying I actually get sleep tonight. Lord, Your lamb needs You.

The contractions have subsided now. The panic is receding. Hoping sleep is just around the corner. This woman is beat!

Guess I better tackle this imposter attitude before it makes trouble. “The original imposter syndrome study in the 1970s revolved around high-achieving women who had trouble attributing their own success to themselves”, one on-line source said. Perhaps I am guilty of that?

“Imposter syndrome is the voice inside your head telling you that you don’t belong, while discrimination is the voice of others telling you the same thing,” explains Dr. Albers. “The distinction is crucial because it highlights that imposter syndrome is a personal struggle that can be addressed through self-reflection and cognitive reframing whereas discrimination requires societal change and advocacy.” https://wockr.org/a-psychologist-explains-how-to-deal-with-imposter-syndrome/

So, this is just a bump in road at 10:45 PM after a long day and a chaotic week. Things are not awful and perhaps locking the account is good. No worries about it over the weekend.

I found the copyright information the next morning and updated the Proof Changes for Dana’s use. I sent it along to her. The new final date for changes came through email. I likely missed some errors, but that is done for now.

So my friends, the new book ought to be available to you on May 1, 2026 through Amazon. (I already found an error in the Table of Contents. Will be amazed if that is the ONLY error!) If you can’t find the title Poems, just type in my name. That ought to bring it up!

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Faith, Joy, Just do it, Obedience, Praise, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Thanks, Trust

Plentitude

Here is a great quote:

Gratitude places you in the energy field of plentitude. Glow with gratitude and see how awe and joy will make their home in you. Michael Bernard Beckwith

Br. David Steindl-Rast shares this compelling invitation: “Imagine a society in which mutual trust has the leverage that our present social order accords to fear. Imagine a society in which mutual caring has the leverage that our present social order accords to egotism. If we reach the critical mass of grateful people, a surprising reorientation can take place.”

Brother David has amazing insights and goals that boggle my mind. I want to live in the world he imagines. Mutual trust, mutual caring and a critical mass of grateful people! Yes! Let’s do that instead of all the other nonsense politicians and reporters spend time upon.

Mutual Trust

Mutual Caring

Gratefulness.

Give those a try.

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Challenge, Faith, Joy, Listen, Obedience, Praise, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Trust, Worship, Yield

The Same Yet Utterly Different

This is from a meditation sent by Practicing the Way during Holy Week.

“It’s still shocking: Jesus passed through death and, as you read these words, inhabits a body that ate Galilean fish and bears puncture marks from the cross, and yet is utterly different — a “walking, talking piece of new creation,” in the words of BibleProject’s Tim Mackie.

Have you contemplated this idea? Jesus, right now and right there with you, too! Our wonderful Jesus, passed from death into life and per the promise of the Father into us to live and dwell and direct our steps.

Oh such glory to God!

16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, to be with you forever. 17 This is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him because he abides with you, and he will be in you.

18 “I will not leave you orphaned; I am coming to you. 19 In a little while the world will no longer see me, but you will see me; because I live, you also will live. 20 On that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you. 21 They who have my commandments and keep them are those who love me, and those who love me will be loved by my Father, and I will love them and reveal myself to them.” John 14:16-21 NRSVUE

The same, “yet utterly different.”

It is said He walked on earth fifty days before the ascension. As He lives and moves within us I propose that He is still walking the earth. Ponder that. Pray with that idea. Thank the Almighty for this amazing work.

Oh. Brings me to stillness and quiet within. Let all the earth keep silence before Him. Let all the earth declare His mighty works of glory.

 If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will give life to your mortal bodies also through his Spirit that dwells in you. Romans 8:11 NRSVUE

Surrender to the Holy Spirit. Let Christ live and move through you. Wait before the Lord in every endeavor. Trust God to work through you as you walk in obedience to the Almighty. Be amazed at the Indwelling Christ. And give thanks.

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Listen, Obedience, Trust, Worship, Yield

Silence

ABBA Poemen was right. “Whatever troubles you

can be overcome by silence.”

Have you tried this wisdom for yourself? Take your troubles. Set them down. Surround them with silence. Let things unfold without your words. If need be, muzzle that situation or yourself. Are you willing to put a shroud of silence over the situation? You remember in the movies how the house that was to be left for a time had all the furniture covered with sheets? Cover your troubles with silence and leave them in the hands of God. “Overcome by silence.”

What of our current world and silence? I do not mean we should not speak out against injustice. I mean do we approach God with endless words and ideas and solutions? Are we willing to let God be in charge and have us be the servants, wielding no power or influence. A willing servant of the mercy of God?

There are times I know I just talk too much.

The desert fathers and mothers warn us about too much talk and not enough action. Is that us?

A word from an anonymous Mother of Father of the desert: An Abba said, “There is no need for a lot of words. Human beings have plenty to say for themselves in these days, but it is deeds which are needed. This is what God wants, not mere words which bear no fruits.” (2-4th centuries A.D. sound like 2026)

Holding our tongue, stopping our words, is one major form of humbling ourselves.

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4:10NIV

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that he may exalt you in due time.1 Peter 5:6 NRSVUE

But the Lord is in his holy temple;
    let all the earth keep silence before him! Habakkuk 2:20 NRSVUE

As I walk through the final few days of this Lenten season I am more aware than ever of my need to humble myself before the Lord. My need to keep silence. My heart longs to go to the Convent or some place where I would not need to speak for more than a few minutes.

One of my favorite artists, Brandon Lake, wrote in his song Gratitude,

“All my words fall short
I got nothing new
How could I express
All my gratitude?

I could sing these songs
As I often do
But every song must end
And You never do.”

Even that is using words. The wise old man who went to church everyday and just sat looking at the Christ was right. “I looks at Him and He looks at me.” That is what I need right now, and always.

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Art, Challenge, Faith, Joy, Look, Memories, Prayer, Traveling, Trust

Forward Day by Day

This appeared in Forward Day by Day devotional. We sent it to our friends in New Mexico. They took us to this church to see the wonder of the staircase. None of us took photos that day as the postcards were spectacular. The photos here are from online.

THURSDAY, March 19      SAINT JOSEPH

Luke 2:48b. Look, your father and I have been searching for you in great anxiety.

There is a legend that Saint Joseph built a staircase here in New Mexico. In Santa Fe, the Sisters of Loretto built their chapel with the blessing of Archbishop Lamy. When it was nearing completion, they realized there was no way to access the choir loft. According to the story, the sisters prayed to Saint Joseph, the patron saint of carpenters, and a stranger appeared. Working only with simple hand tools, this man built a spiral staircase with incredible technical precision and beauty. Carpenters to this day regard the staircase with awe. The man reportedly vanished when the stairway was finished, never accepting his pay.

Did Saint Joseph build the staircase? Many have debated, but as in the case of Joseph’s appearance in the gospels, the details are few. The question of faith also plays a role in the telling of the story. Rather than saying “Saint Joseph built it,” the story relies on the connection between the prayer and the mystery carpenter who arrived. It isn’t certainty but rather faith that has us reach out to God in our need and see God’s action in response.

MOVING FORWARD: Where could you use less certainty and more faith?

“a carpenter appeared with only a hammer and carpenter’s square. He built what is now known as the Miraculous Staircase with simple tools, wooden pegs and a rare wood that is not native to the American Southwest.” https://www.lorettochapel.com/our-story

Isn’t it just lovely?!? I always remember that Jesus was a carpenter, too!

Posted on in Art, Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Praise, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Trust

Grip not Gripe

I frequently think of a quote about the grip of God upon me. Then I do not remember where I read it, saw it, foudn it ….grr. Well, I came across it again last week. I suppose I need to make a poster or 8 x 10 of it and just put it on my wall!

Amy Carmichael wrote in The Edges of His Ways, March 15,

She says Rotherham translates Ephesians 1:19 According to the energy of the grasp of His might. She goes on to write, “It is not my grip of Christ, but Christ’s grip of me: said an old Scotswoman long ago. This is a great word for anyone who feels futile, but it is also a great word for us all. And I think of Paul so conscious of the greatness of his power (power whose lightest touch could have snapped his chains) that he could describe that power in heaped-up words of wonder. Yet he was so utterly content in his prison – so unoffended – that his Lord could use him to write deathless letters like this. What a God and what a servant! And He, Who made him what he was, is our God, even ours.”

That just makes me sit and want to read it over and over until I am saturated with the truth from it. You can read her book at this site https://archive.org/details/edgesofhiswaysse0000carm/page/38/mode/2up. It is also available at Olive Tree Bible Study https://www.olivetree.com/store/product/16733?internal_source=store_search&internal_source_id=product_list

I wish I had known the old Scotswoman, don’t you? Thank goodness her understanding of our Lord is recorded.

I want to be as content as Paul, whatever my condition in life.

 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:11-13 NIV

Content – not prone to gripe. Gripe is complain with grumbling. Yuck. Is that me?

We have a neighbor couple who are both desperately ill and there is no cure for either of them. Walking with them reminds me of when Bob almost died in 2018. And it also reminds me that even though I have chronic pain and things that plague my health, I am okay. I am not dying. As Rick Hanson, phd teaches, “I am okay right now. ” Never have Bob and I both been deathly ill at the same time. Our neighbor man is hospitalized and so worried about his wife who is losing strength and is only visiting every other day now. He does not like being away from her but he is still too sick to go home.

Could you be content in a similar situation? Could having interaction with these two remind you not to gripe? We too often feel entitled to gripe and complain. Yet we live in the richest nation on earth. Though the politics in our country has gone outside the bounds of decency we have previously encountered, we have many of our freedoms in tact. Can we practice contentment for one day? One full week? Perhaps a month? Could we follow Paul and learn so much about our God that there would be no room in our life and in our mouth for complaining and grumbling?

Perhaps you might want it give it a try? Lent continues until April 5. Maybe these would help you draw closer to God. Each time you hear yourself out loud or in your mind complaining and grumbling, draw close to God and be still. It could work wonders for your soul. We mostly resist any message about ourselves having sin and needing to be cleansed. However, that is true about each and every one of us. None of us has a pure and blameless heart.

Abba Arsenius said, “If we seek God, he will appear to us. If we grasp him, he will stay with us.”

7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Lament and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy into dejection. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you. James 4: 7-10 NRSVUE

Posted on in Aging, Collection of Quotes, Faith, Just do it, Listen, Obedience, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Trust, Yield

SATURDAY, MARCH 14

My husband and I have been listening to Lenten meditations offered through our church from Holy Habits by Sister Monica Clare. “Written by an Episcopal nun, author and unlikely TikTok star, our 2026 meditations offer an invitation to rediscover—or deepen— HOLY HABITS of prayer, worship and engagement with Scripture. These holy habits provide a path to a life that is given shape, meaning and direction by being rooted in a deeper relationship with God.” If you want to meet her you can go to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=org7Dam8yJg

Quoting Mark 7:20-23 she wrote, “And he said, “It is what comes out of a person that defiles. For it is from within, from the human heart, that evil intentions come: fornication, theft, murder, adultery, avarice, wickedness, deceit, licentiousness, envy, slander, pride, folly. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.” 

She noted we often say, “So and so made me feel judged. But then I remember that no one can make me feel anything. My feelings are based on my own thoughts and perceptions of what enters my heart from the outside. Transforming my reactions into healthy responses is something that happens deep within.”

At first her insight sounds like a tall order. The transformation she speaks of can bring us peace and health like no other. “Transforming my reactions into healthy responses is something that happens deep within.” My reactions, taming myself to form responses instead of quickly reacting. Ooh, so often I am tempted to react. Slow down, Molly, form a response.

James 1:19 “Quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger.” I stumble over which one to do quickly and which one slowly. Get it right old woman. QUICK to hear. Slow to speak, slow to anger.

Slow to speak, Molly. Slow to anger, Molly. That is what I need more of, (just ask my husband).

Quick to listen, like my beloved wild rabbits with their acute sense of hearing. Quick to listen. I wish when my ears are triggered by another person’s voice my self would assume a posture of full attentiveness and folded hands. I bet AI could make that picture. Lovely adult cottontail with folded paws and active listening.

Until then, I pray for God to help me become the person aware of her own tendency to defile from within. A woman willing to be changed to someone who is quick to hear, slow to speak, and very slow to anger.

I will, with God’s help.