Category: Illness and Health

Posted on in Aging, Amazing Creations, Challenge, Faith, Illness and Health, medical treatment, Surrender, Trust

The Weaver

Do you know this poem by Grant Colfax Tullar?

My life is but a weaving
between by God and me;
I cannot choose the colors
He worketh steadily.

Oft' times He weaveth sorrow
And I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper
And I the underside.

Not 'til the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly,
Will God unroll the canvas
And explain the reason why.

The dark threads area as needful
in the Weaver's skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned.

He knows, He loves, He cares;
Nothing this truth can dim.
He gives the very best to those
Who leave the choice to Him.


Bob and I both have some medical issues going on. We would appreciate your prayers for wisdom on for us and especially for the medical personnel involved. Details will follow when decisions are made. Until then, appreciate what you can see of the weaving of your life that is between your God and you. I like the part about “I cannot choose the colors. He works steadily.”

Pastor Bob Gerhardt tried his best to teach me that control IS indeed an illusion. I might be embracing that teaching much more today than when he first introduced it to me.

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Family, Focus, Illness and Health, Prayer, Rest, Spiritual discipline, Surrender, Thanks, Traveling, Trust

They Moved Back to Florida

My neighbors have become dear friends over the last four years. They are snowbirds, which means they make me VERY uncomfortable. They are here for 5 months and then depart for 7 months or so. When they are here we are often at each other’s door. Sharing food, or borrowing something. Walking Lucky together in the afternoon. Having a meal at a favorite Mexican restaurant. Sharing snacks and an evening of Euchre. And then poof! they are gone.

We get to use their garage while they are gone. During their long time away we usually go into their home once a week or so to turn lights off and on, open blinds, flush toilets, etc. Their departure is hard on all of us, including their adult son and his young family who live here in Cincinnati. Two of her brothers live in Lima, Ohio and Indianapolis so they too miss this couple when they fly south. Yes, I experienced angst as the date drew closer.

His health has been declining rapidly and this year will be especially hard getting him through the airports and back home to Florida. When I read the selection for Lectio 365 the morning of their departure I immediately sent it along to her. She felt it was from God through me and read it before she climbed out of bed. So glad I could send her some comfort and strength.

“I choose to rejoice in the God who holds my hand today, joining with the ancient praise of all God’s people in the words of Psalm 73…

You hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever. Psalm 73:23b–26 (NLT)

She determined to hold the hand of God throughout the day as they traveled. Travel is VERY hard work and the older I get the more I declare that. Imagine traveling with a loved one in stage 4 Parkinson’s disease! Nightmare.

Lectio went on to pray:
“I join David now, bringing my whole body before the Lord in prayer.
I bring attention to my eyes.
What attracts my gaze? Is anything distracting me?
Jesus, I fix my eyes on you. Help me keep my focus on you throughout this day.
I look down at my right hand.
Is anything making me nervous today? Or causing my hand to tremble?
Make me unshakably confident that, as I hold onto you, I am held.
I place a hand on my heart.
Is my heart glad today? Or is it heavy with sorrow?
Holy Spirit, fill me with supernatural gladness as I invite your presence.”
https://lectio365.24-7prayer.com/share/devotionals/2026-10-19/morning?locale=en

I miss our friends and neighbors. They say friends are the family you choose. We have chosen this couple. I am glad they made it back to Florida safely. I will miss them as they continue to journey with Christ through the awful disease of Parkinson’s. They remain in my prayers.

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Humor, Illness and Health, medical treatment

Humor Amidst Chronic Pain

Bob and I were driving some place. Beats me where? I had this thought that sort of made me giggle.

If you were to write a commercial for contemporary television, what would you say about chronic pain?

This is what came to me. Body rearrange – what is clamoring for attention – sort of like a brat child.

“This body rearrange is brought to you, by aches and pains au naturel. If it hurts, you ain’t dead yet!“

As the seasons change I find relief in the lack of HUMIDITY and air that is stifling. The cooler temperatures make for great sleeping. But there are days … oh my are there days … when everything hurts. The nice thing about Fibro is the pain moves about. If my elbows hurt this morning in a few hours it might be my knees. Tomorrow it could be some other place.

This body rearrange is brought to you, by aches and pains au naturel. If it hurts, you ain’t dead yet!“

Satchel Paige is quoted as having said, “Never give up … Find another way. And don’t pray when it rains if you don’t pray when the sun shines.”

And from https://freepuns.com/pain-puns/

84. Joint pain: proof I’m aging like a fine… curdled milk.

92. I am joint-ing hands with pain today.

62. My muscles are screaming for a massage.

74. I am trying to flex my way to a good mood.

Sounds like Gibbs with all the rule numbers!!

No matter what ails you, try to keep finding humor in the situation. We joked recently while walking what seemed like miles to a pulmonary appointment. We told the doc the office should be closer to the elevators at Christ hospital. Or perhaps they were hoping for a pulmonary crisis and an admission? Just kidding. I think.

Posted on in Aging, Art, Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Illness and Health, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Trust, Worship

Wise Maya

How is your courage today? Perhaps you did not need to call upon courage at all today? Maybe you feel as if all your courage drained out like dishwater from the sink. Most of us need courage in some aspect of our life.

Without courage you can’t practice any other virtue consistently. You can be anything erratically—kind, fair, true, generous, all that. But to be that thing time after time, you need courage.

MAYA ANGELOU

Do you have the courage to be consistent in your walk and life with Jesus? Each day a new beginning but hopefully with the same conviction to honor God and do the will of the Almighty over your own wishes and desires.

I have found that courage comes with increased trust in the will of God for my life. I do believe the often quoted verse in Jeremiah 29: 11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

There is a woman who is watching her husband fold under the ravages of Parkinson’s disease. She must do almost everything for him now. She requires courage to face every day. Recently she went to the store and for some reason her phone ringer was turned off. While she was away he had an episode of illness. The Paramedics tried to call her to tell her they were transporting her husband to the local hospital. They did not get an answer and left no message on the phone. Through the intervention of the Holy Spirit and the quick action of neighbors she was notified by text and actually arrived at the hospital before the ambulance.

Living with someone who suffers from a terrible disease requires courage on the part of the one who is not suffering the same malady. She needs courage to keep placing one foot in front of the other. She requires courage to face the unknown future. This is a terrible disease that will ravage his being and most likely require he will eventually be cared for at a nursing facility. For now, she is his nurse, his wife, his chief cook and dishwasher. She, too, has a disease. Though it is a rare one, it takes a toll on her every season.

God, our Father, give these caregivers the courage to walk with their loved ones day in and day out as they suffer and experience the various stages of disease.

The Benedictines remind us to keep death always before us. Most of us stuff that idea under the sofa cushions and refuse to even examine the truth therein.

By keeping death always before us we come to cherish life more than if we pretend death will never happen to us. Life is precious and to be enjoyed. Even when it is not enjoyable, there are gifts in our midst. A TV sports conflict to take our minds off ourselves. The taste of a lovely coconut macaroon to delight our senses. The change of seasons to bring us fresh air. The softness of a pet’s fur. The songs of cricket and tree frogs. The shadow cast by objects under the light of a full moon on a clear night.

We can embrace the fact of our coming death and say no to denial. I have repeatedly come across the idea that we have been dying ever since we were born. There is a mystery in birth that is not to be considered greater than the mystery in death. We are all hurtling towards death the moment we are born. As someone has said, “I do not fear dying. It is how I am to die that has been shivering in my boots.”

Memento mori means remember that you have to die. Once I wrote in this blog about being aghast at seeing the star of The Chosen wearing skull rings. Then I realized they were to remind him he too will have to die. Here is a video short where he explains ….

Courage to live this day fully. Yes, Lord, I need courage for that!

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Illness and Health, medical treatment, Poetry, Prayer, Surrender, Trust, Yield

Chronic

Chronic means: continuing or occurring again and again for a long time. Being, providing, or requiring long-term medical care. Always present or encountered, especially : constantly vexing, weakening, or troubling.

This pain will not go away. Yes, it waxes and wanes, but it is never going to leave me until I die. I get so tired of it all. Lately I have especially had great difficulty when trying to get to sleep at night.

Today I will not have any caffeine at all in the afternoon. I will set up sleep meditations in case I cannot drift off on my own.

There are times when no matter how I prepare or take care of myself the chronic pain disrupts my life, my goals, my rhythm of living. There has not been a medication found to treat this. There are a few that help with some of the symptoms, but nothing that covers the umbrella of distress. It is chronic and sometimes crushing. I tell Bob there are times I feel as if I have been ground into a powder.

Why am I putting this in the blog? Well, there are likely others out there struggling with this or a similar problem. Sometimes I can get away from the all consuming pain sensations by getting focused upon a challenge or a project such as writing. Even one hour of departure from the torture chamber can be good. Cooking for an hour while singing favorite praise music can help. Sadly not every hour of the day can be spent planning a project, performing a task or rejoicing over a task completed.

I keep hearing snippets of a poem from 1985. When I looked for it just now it was about relationship trouble, not necessarily physical struggle.

Eleven Fifty-three Post Meridiem ©Molly Lin Dutina


Nighttime and the Unresolved
Come marching to my bedroom
Tramping through my head
Hurling accusations
Quoting words once said
Reason takes a low profile
While logic flees the scene
Where is the solution
For circumstances now turned mean
Never, shoulds, and woulds
Paint dismal, hopeless scenes
Understanding vanishes
Deep each insult bleeds.
Forgiveness is the answer
That makes the war to cease.


Let it go. Let go. Release.
Present moment calls to me
Be NowHere in God’s sweet peace
A song can be resung
The past can’t be undone
But pouring in forgiveness
The fall-out is made numb


Come to here and now
Feast on today’s plenty
In gratitude for all
Dare to now drink deeply
From streams of joy and love
We are granted
Only to
“Live our lives by moments”
Aren’t we now
1985

Though “Come to the here and now, feast on today’s plenty, in gratitude for all” does help me cope. When I come to the here and now in a painful night I have to place my focus upon Jesus Christ who loves me better than I love myself. I offer my pain on behalf of another. (I am not quite certain how that works, but I make the offering regardless.) I remember to breathe in Jesus and breathe out me, or breathe out my pain. I try not to watch the clock. Rest, just rest. Sink into the center down silence of love and peace.

I am seriously a work in progress. There is no medication that can help me with this. With St. Patrick I try to “arise today through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity with belief in the threeness and confession of the oneness towards the Creator.” Help me Lord not to project fear or negativity on this day and whatever it might bring. Help me to lie down tonight in Your arms of love and rest in Your everlasting care.

I will try to remember to pray compline especially with the wonderful portion of Psalm 4

verse 8 I lie down in peace; at once I call asleep; for only you, LORD, make me dwell in safety.

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Book quotes, Faith, Focus, Illness and Health, Music, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Trust, Yield

Struggle Continues

I came across this poem set to music after reading Amy Carmichael’s chapter entitled Rose from Brier in her collected writings in the book by the same title. (Pages 51-53) I found it enchanting. The photography, also, especially the raindrops on the pavement! She heard this poem as “a little song that sang within me” as she longed to be at a welcoming service in the House of Prayer, but could not leave her bed.

Amy Carmichael Rose From Brier

She describes the sweetbrier of England in contrast to the roses of India. “I saw a little, low, very prickly bush in an old-fashioned English garden; it was covered with inconspicuous pink roses. But the wonder of the bush was its all-pervading fragrance, for it was a sweetbrier. And I saw one who has long been in the land where no thorns grow, cutting a spray from the bush, stripping the thorns off and giving it to me. May these for whom a rose from my brier may be caused to blow, those who do indeed walk the dear familiar ways of home, and road, and street, as unregarded as a breath of air, but there in love and longing, always there, find no pricking thorn on the stem of this rose from my brier.

“I think that when He whom our soul loveth comes so near to us, and so gently helps our human weakness, then what Madame Guyon wrote more than three hundred years ago becomes a present truth. We are borne over the oppression that would hold us down, we mount up on wings, we find a secret sweetness in our brier. But it is not of us. It’s Love that lifts us up. It is Love that is the sweetness.

“Is the one who reads this in a great weariness, or the exhaustion that follows a sore hurt, or in the terrible grasp of pain? He who loves as no one else can love understands to the uttermost, is not far away. He wants us to say, He can give it to us to say, “My Lord, my Love, I am content with Thee.”

Beautiful pink and yellow flower of dog-rose, sweet brier

In America we often call the same plant a Dog Rose. My neighbor has them in her backyard. I will have to experiment next spring to find out if the foliage is also fragrant as the internet reports!

I find the fragrance of Amy’s writings a gift to my soul.

Posted on in Art, Beagle, Faith, Family, Humor, Illness and Health, medical treatment, Praise, Prayer, Rest, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Thanks

Greeting Cards

I received so many nice cards while I was recovering from toe surgery! I eventually stapled them to a ribbon and hung them from the curtain rod in the dining room. A few of my favorites I actually read multiple times. The sentiments, though written for Hallmark or Day Spring audiences, spoke to me. I hope they find meaning in your heart also.

(Ugh I am still trying to find the most comfortable way to situate myself while writing at my desktop computer. Not easy with one leg elevated!)

It looks much better now, but still swells and then throbs.

The first card remains the funniest. I had confided in my friend Kathy that I was uncertain how I would manage the bathroom on one foot. She was right there when Bob brought me home from the outpatient procedure. She left a card and a small gift for me to open when I was up to it. The gift was this block sign:

And I have relied on her! She will text she is “going to Kroger. Need anything?” And whether I ask for an avocado or throat lozenges for dry mouth, she will find it and bring it to me. Her card was the funniest.

The sentiment reads, “Hope crappy turns into happy …get well soon!” Yes the perfect card for the event and the proloooonged recovery. And sort of looks like Lucky, too!

A little over half way through this recovery I go this one. “Stay positive. Stay hopeful. Keep going.” How did this dear friend know that I would be tempted to negativity. Tempted to lose hope? Tempted to just give up? Likely because I often confide in her my prayer requests. The card shows a close up of the center of a daisy. That is the flower I think of when I think of my daughter. Her birthday is in June and that is when many daisies here bloom. The inside sentiment reads, “I know you’re working hard at getting better, and I want you to know I’ll be rooting for you every step of the way.”

My life has sudden filled with 3 women named Debby. This particular Debby nails it on the head every time! Each Debbie is a blessing in her own right. One has a sister named Sandy. I am able to remember her name as I have cousins who are sisters: Debbie and Sandy!

Another recent card reads: “May each new day bring you gentle reminders of God’s ever-faithful love as He strengthens you with His healing touch.” I would read this and center myself in the knowledge that God loves each of us and I would look for the reminder round about me. There was always something there to cheer me on.

Another card came from a neighbor. This particular woman had been through several crises the last couple of years. I remember praying over her and trying to calm her during one in particular. I am not aware of this couple attending any church, but I try to share my faith wherever I am. They do know I am willing to pray for them whatever they are walking through. When she presented the card to me with a very generous gift card she seemed to take delight in telling me she remembered me talking with her about patience. Now is was her turn to reinforce the message about patience! Her card read, “Recovery is a process. It takes time. It takes patience. It takes everything you’ve got …. and you’ve got a lot – a kind heart, an amazing spirit, and people who really care about you.“

I placed that card on the kitchen counter where I could read it easily from the wheelchair I had to use after twisting my knee (adding insult to injury). It brought me great encouragement and comfort.

These are a few of the things that gave me pause to give give thanks to God. If you are compelled to send someone a greeting card do not underestimate what it might mean to the person receiving it. You never know how God might use you for such a time as this!

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Art, Faith, Family, Illness and Health, Look

Pumpkins!!

There is a new exhibit at the Cincinnati Art Museum by Yayoi Kusama called “All the Eternal Love I Have for the Pumpkins.” Click on the arrow below to get a feel for the exhibit.

We look forward to attending! Evidently there is an admission charge for this exhibit. In the room with the pumpkins and mirrors only 2 people at a time are allowed in the room. And you may only stay for 90 seconds. This exhibit has traveled to several museums and is evidently a huge hit.

More facts: “Born in 1929 and raised in Matsumoto, Japan, Yayoi first encountered pumpkins in the fields surrounding her childhood home. Her family cultivated and sold plant seeds, and pumpkins became a recurring motif in her artwork, serving as a self-portraiture. Before entering the installation, visitors can also view a rare collection of a dozen acrylic pumpkin paintings on canvas created between 1990 and 2004.”

“I hope that our visitors’ interests are piqued, and that they are curious about Kusama, her practice, and what she is doing within the contemporary art realm today. She’s still a living artist. She is a practicing artist,” Cameron says. Today, Kusama is 97 years old. “As a museum practitioner of ways that sort of take us out of our typical experience, to take us out of our day-to-day existence, that’s what this can do. I want people to walk out of that room with a bit of a reset. I hope it encourages people to manifest a joyful reality in similar ways that Kusama has created for herself and for us.” says Cameron Kitchin, Louis and Louise Dieterle Nipper director.

Kusama suffers from physical and emotional abuse administered by her mother. Her art is one way she copes with that.

Just in time for autumn around the corner. LOL! Wonder if they will serve pumpkin spiced lattes? HA-ha!

Posted on in Aging, Faith, Humor, Illness and Health, medical treatment, Memories, Music

Did You Sing This?

As I child I remember the song that went something like this:

Great green gobs of 
greasy grimy gopher guts
Little oggy doggie tails
mutilated monkey meat

That is what my week has been like, coughing up the entrails of this nasty virus.

Bob even asked if our tissues are one ply. No, they are not. These are just two tissue blows!

They say the song is important as they give kids a way to express the gory truth about life, usually to the parents’ disdain.”It is extremely popular because children often enjoy taboo subjects and references to things that are disgusting!”

Nope, not something I coughed up. Just as Osage Orange you might see along the road!

So do not catch this summer cold. It is disgusting and exhausting. Spray, throat lozenge, blow, neti pot, blow, pills, throat lozenge, blow and pray for a good night’s rest!

All the while thumping around in this boot that is beginning to feel massive. Yes, I do need another ice pack!

Posted on in Aging, Amazing Creations, Collection of Quotes, Faith, Focus, Illness and Health, Joy, Just do it, Look, Nature, Praise, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Thanks

A Little Bit of Awe

Bob reads Time magazine. I occasionally pick it up if there is an article that catches my attention. In the throes of this recovery from surgery we both caught a wicked cold. The headache and coughing are exhausting. When I moved his magazine this article caught my attention, “5 Ways to Experience a Little Bit of Awe Every Day. ”My first reaction was , “Not again!?”

I was finding it difficult to think about awe in the midst of the ripping sound of Velcro, hot ortho boot, inability to move about the house without forethought and planning, gripping abdominal pain from coughing so long and so hard. Now someone wants me to find awe?

When I finally stopped long enough to read the article I realized the exercise was exactly what I needed. Dacher Keltner a psychologist and author is quoted as describing awe as the feeling you get “when you encounter things that are vast and beyond your frame of reference,” shifting attention away from self and toward something larger.

You can read the article here. https://www.pressreader.com/australia/time-international/20260727/281754161083947

I read through the list of 5 ways and made myself look away from the coughing and the lingering limitation to my walking ability. I found indeed there could be a shift in my thinking. I knew this to be true, but have not experienced this noticeable shift in several months. The shift is very difficult when you feel unwell.

For example, we had some nasty storms pass through our area recently. One tornado came within a handful of miles from our house. We watched the neighbor’s trees twist and turn in the wind as never before and the elephant ears in our garden were being whipped into a frenzy. I wondered what would happen to the newly bloomed mallow flowers on the shrub next to the giant ears. Two days later we were both marveling at how the flowers seemed to be entwined and hugged by the elephant ears in our garden. In other words, the plants were still standing and prospering despite all the storm threw at them.

If you don’t feel good and are limited in your physical function one challenge you don’t want to encounter is the invasion of the tiny black ants. One treat I am allowed is a couple of ginger snaps or a few select low carb cookies with my morning coffee. I opened the can with the coconut cookies and it was literally crawling with ants. So many in fact that I just threw the cookies away. There was no way to pick off a few and save the cookies.

Bob helped me pull things out of the closet and vacuum up ants. I sprayed bug killer and shut the pantry door. If would take hours to wash things off and replace them in the pantry. By the time I was finished I was exhausted. At some point in the housekeeping event I remembered the verse about consider the ant you sluggard, while contemplating how do they even get inside this house? Look they are congregating around the edges of the dishwasher. How do I spray there?

6 Go to the ant, you lazybones;
    consider its ways and be wise.
7 Without having any chief
    or officer or ruler,
8 it prepares its food in summer
    and gathers its sustenance in harvest.
9 How long will you lie there, O lazybones?
    When will you rise from your sleep?
10 A little sleep, a little slumber,
    a little folding of the hands to rest,
11 and poverty will come upon you like a robber,
    and want, like an armed warrior. Proverbs 6:6-11 NRSVUE

We find those tiny critters on the dining room table. I will occasionally find one walking up my arm. I am getting to the point if I feel like something is crawling on me I check to be sure it is not an ant.

There is the reset button! This invasion did not have to be more fuel for frustration and despair! We may never win the battle with the ants, but we can hold a little bit of territory. There are likely ten thousand upon ten thousand ants living in our backyard alone. When Bob pulls up a solar light to change the battery he often encounters them going mad up his arm and all over the light. A moment ago he saw none. Then wham he is battling for his own skin.

This marvel is occurring in all the neighbors houses. Some even find the ants where this is no food about such as in an office. Yet the ants explore and send out sentries and food gatherers. Can we just for a moment be in awe of them?

This awe is one thing that makes it possible to turn away from the attention my ailing self demands and look to the Lord. This marvel, even for a moment, helps me move towards praise and pray again. It is no slight thing to find a way to focus on the Risen Christ when your body of flesh is clamoring so loudly. Here again is a big reason why I admire Amy Carmichael so much. Her writings delineate her turning away from the flesh and the world to God Almighty.

You might want to try it today, if even for a moment.