Category: Aging

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Family, Focus, Illness and Health, Prayer, Rest, Spiritual discipline, Surrender, Thanks, Traveling, Trust

They Moved Back to Florida

My neighbors have become dear friends over the last four years. They are snowbirds, which means they make me VERY uncomfortable. They are here for 5 months and then depart for 7 months or so. When they are here we are often at each other’s door. Sharing food, or borrowing something. Walking Lucky together in the afternoon. Having a meal at a favorite Mexican restaurant. Sharing snacks and an evening of Euchre. And then poof! they are gone.

We get to use their garage while they are gone. During their long time away we usually go into their home once a week or so to turn lights off and on, open blinds, flush toilets, etc. Their departure is hard on all of us, including their adult son and his young family who live here in Cincinnati. Two of her brothers live in Lima, Ohio and Indianapolis so they too miss this couple when they fly south. Yes, I experienced angst as the date drew closer.

His health has been declining rapidly and this year will be especially hard getting him through the airports and back home to Florida. When I read the selection for Lectio 365 the morning of their departure I immediately sent it along to her. She felt it was from God through me and read it before she climbed out of bed. So glad I could send her some comfort and strength.

“I choose to rejoice in the God who holds my hand today, joining with the ancient praise of all God’s people in the words of Psalm 73…

You hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever. Psalm 73:23b–26 (NLT)

She determined to hold the hand of God throughout the day as they traveled. Travel is VERY hard work and the older I get the more I declare that. Imagine traveling with a loved one in stage 4 Parkinson’s disease! Nightmare.

Lectio went on to pray:
“I join David now, bringing my whole body before the Lord in prayer.
I bring attention to my eyes.
What attracts my gaze? Is anything distracting me?
Jesus, I fix my eyes on you. Help me keep my focus on you throughout this day.
I look down at my right hand.
Is anything making me nervous today? Or causing my hand to tremble?
Make me unshakably confident that, as I hold onto you, I am held.
I place a hand on my heart.
Is my heart glad today? Or is it heavy with sorrow?
Holy Spirit, fill me with supernatural gladness as I invite your presence.”
https://lectio365.24-7prayer.com/share/devotionals/2026-10-19/morning?locale=en

I miss our friends and neighbors. They say friends are the family you choose. We have chosen this couple. I am glad they made it back to Florida safely. I will miss them as they continue to journey with Christ through the awful disease of Parkinson’s. They remain in my prayers.

Posted on in Aging, Faith, Family, Listen, Memories, Music, Praise, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Thanks

Another Morning Song

I remember Grandma Snapp playing this. It seemed to me she was playing chords, but this person does a good job of it.

On a hill far away stood an old rugged cross,
the emblem of suffering and shame;
and I love that old cross where the dearest and best
for a world of lost sinners was slain.

Refrain:
So I’ll cherish the old rugged cross,
till my trophies at last I lay down;
I will cling to the old rugged cross,
and exchange it some day for a crown.

2 O that old rugged cross, so despised by the world,
has a wondrous attraction for me;
for the dear Lamb of God left his glory above
to bear it to dark Calvary. [Refrain]

3 In that old rugged cross, stained with blood so divine,
a wondrous beauty I see,
for ’twas on that old cross Jesus suffered and died,
to pardon and sanctify me. [Refrain]

4 To that old rugged cross I will ever be true,
its shame and reproach gladly bear;
then he’ll call me some day to my home far away,
where his glory forever I’ll share. [Refrain]

United Methodist Hymnal

The hymn was written the year before my mother was born. Her dad was an itinerant Methodist minster in both Ohio and Kentucky. Her mother played the piano and my mother was forced to stand on a soapbox and lead the hymns. When I was young Mom said she had enough church growing up. My sister and I were dropped off at church. My parents attended at Christmas and Easter if we were singing in the choir. American evangelist and song-leader George Bennard (1873–1958) wrote the hymn.

I remember Grandma Snapp playing this hymn on our piano. She was always uncertain she could reach the chords with the arthritis in her hands. To me she did great! She died at age 79 after breaking her hip and contracting pneumonia.

All these years later, the hymn rings through my soul from time to time. To me the most memorable part is “where the dearest and best for a world of lost sinners was slain.” Jesus, our Savior and King. Help us never to forget your cross and all it stood for then and now.

Posted on in Spiritual growth, Nature, Amazing Creations, Memories, Aging, Faith, Yield, Spiritual discipline, Trust, Surrender

Losses and Gains

Oh my. A friend just asked me to pray. Her parents are considering buying a larger home where the young family and the older folks can all live together. I agreed that I would pray for them, but my heart was so sad that my young, vibrant neighbor who loves God might leave the neighborhood.

Her prayer is that if this is God’s will the doors to make it possible will fly open. If it is not God’s will and just the plan the humans have dreamed up, nothing will make it go.

As Gamaliel advised: “But a Pharisee in the council named Gamaliel, a teacher of the law, respected by all the people, stood up and ordered the men to be put outside for a short time. So in the present case, I tell you, keep away from these men and let them alone, because if this plan or this undertaking is of human origin, it will fail; 39 but if it is of God, you will not be able to overthrow them—in that case you may even be found fighting against God Acts 5:34, 38-39 NRSUV

It was such a gain to meet this young woman when we first moved in. It would be such a loss to me and others to have her leave the neighborhood. Losses and gains: such is life.

Corrie ten Boom advised Chuck Swindoll (and others too) to hold all things loosely. I first heard that lesson when my kids were becoming older teenagers. I need to remember the same lesson now. Us old folks tend to get crusty and stuck in our ways. Somehow we think things will always be the way they are right now – both the good and the bad things. God sends changes to each season to try to convince us to honor and cherish each stage of our lives. Still, I tend to get stuck.

Corrie said, “Pastor Swindoll, you must learn to told everything loosely – everything. Even your dear family. Why? Because the Father may wish to take one of them back to Himself, and when He does, it will hurt you if He must pry your fingers loose.”

Oh Molly, open your hands! Rejoice at the many blessings God has sent your way! Let it all stay loosely present to you. When a blessing is removed, remember how wonderful it was.

My daughter loaned me a book called “Raising Hare, a Memoir” by Chloe Dalton. I told Bob I might need to purchase the book. I keep wanting to write in it, underline passages, turn down corners, (none of which have I done). This tome especially moves me because in 2020 we found baby rabbits in our front garden, right by the front steps. {This week I have been loving our flower beds with the cheer they bring me in the midst of the panic and chaos of pandemic. I have picked and delivered multiple bouquets to neighbors and even my sister. I did notice that I need to get out there and spruce up the front flower bed from the dead leaves of last winter and general chickweed, etc. A clump of Hyacinths near the front door were especially packed with dead grass.

Today I looked and thought, “That is unnatural to have that much dead grass around the hyacinths.” Taking a break from writing I decided to move it away so the bulbs could flourish. As I reached down I realized I should probably use my handy table knife that I keep there for cleaning off shoes, just in case some mouse or unsavory had decided to move in. So I grabbed the knife and began to lift and move the grass. Noticed fur and WHAM!! there were little tiny eyes and ears. Nope, not mice! Baby bunnies!! I hurried put the grass back in place.} Many years earlier I had heard a rabbit get killed by a cat. It literally screamed. I will never forget how human the cry was. When we discovered these little bunnies we knew they were not safe jumping around the flowerbed. Plus, we owned a dog at the time and it was just a matter of time before she found them, too.https://treasuresinplainsight.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=2450&action=edit and https://treasuresinplainsight.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=2467&action=edit

Why tell you all of this? I had to capture one tiny bunny to try to put it back in the nest. I can still recall the sensation of that fluffy fur in the palm of my hand. Yes, the mother rabbit came and moved the buns. I never heard one being killed, I did not find any piles of fur. But I gained a sweet memory in that one moment holding that little one.

photo by r m dutina

Sure the book is about hares in the English countryside, not American cotton tail rabbits, but I am eating it up. What memory do you have that is precious to you? When the circumstances around it changed did you feel a loss?

Can you discern the way losses and gains move like the seasons?

Rejoice at the many blessings God has sent your way! Let it all stay loosely present to you. When a blessing is removed, remember how wonderful it was.

I was in the back garden last week and as I looked down I saw nasturtium seeds above the ground! I realized these were grown by my plants over the summer. I picked them up and brought them inside to dry for planting next spring. I was really glad I did because 2 days later I saw a chipmunk foraging in the same area! Had I not gotten the seeds when I did that chipmunk would have stuffed its cheeks and carried them away! I am certain he will find other seeds in the garden that I missed. The nasturtiums are almost finished for 2026. Each time I pick a small bouquet I think, “Oh this is likely the last one!” Until a hard freeze I might be able to enjoy them. Then it will be losses and gains again.

Summer bouquet

The rose pictured above has a few more buds on it. One large maple is all yellow and green now. The mowers set their blades lower this week. Autumn is upon us. Lord, help us remember that each season offers losses and also gains. Ha! I just saw the first slate colored Junco return for the winter 🙂

Posted on in Aging, Faith, Family, Humor, Joy, Marriage and Memories, Praise, Prayer, Thanks

Gift to All Who Truly Know Him

Robert Milan Dutina, the love of my life has a birthday today and I am privileged to make him his favorite carrot cake. Bob is truly a gift from God to me!

This man is kind and considerate. He can get along with anyone who makes an effort to be civil. For decades he has made it his practice not only to read the Bible but to try to live the commands of Jesus in everyday life.

His sense of humor is boundless. Sometimes he drives me wild when I am not in the mood and he continues with his humor. There are as many voices in his repertoire as a stand up comedian. He has a schtick for almost any situation.

As to his birthday cake, I got the recipe years ago from a woman who swore I would like it. To me carrot cake always sinks like a rock in my stomach. Turns out most recipes have a full cup of oil in them. Hers has only 1-1/2 tablespoons. It is complete with cream cheese frosting. He likes his cake best after it has been refrigerated. Several of his friends in the laboratory where he worked made such a deal over his cake, he continues to deliver a piece (or 2) to those people even though they are all retired now. So yes, Bob is generous. The opening photo is from last year’s cake!

When he heard that Gary had Parkinson’s disease he began visiting him several times a month. When Gary finally passed Bob continued visiting his widow and son. She is now slipping into dementia, but he continues to make an effort to see her with some regularity. Bob is kind and his faith carries over into day to day life.

He is organized and tiny to the point where I dubbed him “Mr. Tidy” and he knows I call him that. His desk is more than likely clear and mine is more like an inch or two deep in projects. He likes the sticker I bought that says, “Creative minds are rarely tidy.” He has been my editor in chief over my writing projects. He is very intelligent.

As we enter our twilight years Bob continues to try to keep pushing himself into activity. Sometimes I wonder if he has sense enough to go sit down and rest? Occasionally he stops in his recliner for a moment or two. I am glad to see that!

We debate who will die first. Neither of us knows for certain. If I die first his goal is to spend 2 or 3 months in Paris mourning. If he dies first I go to the Aran Islands in Ireland to mourn.

Happy birthday to my loving man of 56 years. What a ride!

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Humor, Illness and Health, medical treatment

Humor Amidst Chronic Pain

Bob and I were driving some place. Beats me where? I had this thought that sort of made me giggle.

If you were to write a commercial for contemporary television, what would you say about chronic pain?

This is what came to me. Body rearrange – what is clamoring for attention – sort of like a brat child.

“This body rearrange is brought to you, by aches and pains au naturel. If it hurts, you ain’t dead yet!“

As the seasons change I find relief in the lack of HUMIDITY and air that is stifling. The cooler temperatures make for great sleeping. But there are days … oh my are there days … when everything hurts. The nice thing about Fibro is the pain moves about. If my elbows hurt this morning in a few hours it might be my knees. Tomorrow it could be some other place.

This body rearrange is brought to you, by aches and pains au naturel. If it hurts, you ain’t dead yet!“

Satchel Paige is quoted as having said, “Never give up … Find another way. And don’t pray when it rains if you don’t pray when the sun shines.”

And from https://freepuns.com/pain-puns/

84. Joint pain: proof I’m aging like a fine… curdled milk.

92. I am joint-ing hands with pain today.

62. My muscles are screaming for a massage.

74. I am trying to flex my way to a good mood.

Sounds like Gibbs with all the rule numbers!!

No matter what ails you, try to keep finding humor in the situation. We joked recently while walking what seemed like miles to a pulmonary appointment. We told the doc the office should be closer to the elevators at Christ hospital. Or perhaps they were hoping for a pulmonary crisis and an admission? Just kidding. I think.

Posted on in Aging, Art, Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Illness and Health, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Trust, Worship

Wise Maya

How is your courage today? Perhaps you did not need to call upon courage at all today? Maybe you feel as if all your courage drained out like dishwater from the sink. Most of us need courage in some aspect of our life.

Without courage you can’t practice any other virtue consistently. You can be anything erratically—kind, fair, true, generous, all that. But to be that thing time after time, you need courage.

MAYA ANGELOU

Do you have the courage to be consistent in your walk and life with Jesus? Each day a new beginning but hopefully with the same conviction to honor God and do the will of the Almighty over your own wishes and desires.

I have found that courage comes with increased trust in the will of God for my life. I do believe the often quoted verse in Jeremiah 29: 11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

There is a woman who is watching her husband fold under the ravages of Parkinson’s disease. She must do almost everything for him now. She requires courage to face every day. Recently she went to the store and for some reason her phone ringer was turned off. While she was away he had an episode of illness. The Paramedics tried to call her to tell her they were transporting her husband to the local hospital. They did not get an answer and left no message on the phone. Through the intervention of the Holy Spirit and the quick action of neighbors she was notified by text and actually arrived at the hospital before the ambulance.

Living with someone who suffers from a terrible disease requires courage on the part of the one who is not suffering the same malady. She needs courage to keep placing one foot in front of the other. She requires courage to face the unknown future. This is a terrible disease that will ravage his being and most likely require he will eventually be cared for at a nursing facility. For now, she is his nurse, his wife, his chief cook and dishwasher. She, too, has a disease. Though it is a rare one, it takes a toll on her every season.

God, our Father, give these caregivers the courage to walk with their loved ones day in and day out as they suffer and experience the various stages of disease.

The Benedictines remind us to keep death always before us. Most of us stuff that idea under the sofa cushions and refuse to even examine the truth therein.

By keeping death always before us we come to cherish life more than if we pretend death will never happen to us. Life is precious and to be enjoyed. Even when it is not enjoyable, there are gifts in our midst. A TV sports conflict to take our minds off ourselves. The taste of a lovely coconut macaroon to delight our senses. The change of seasons to bring us fresh air. The softness of a pet’s fur. The songs of cricket and tree frogs. The shadow cast by objects under the light of a full moon on a clear night.

We can embrace the fact of our coming death and say no to denial. I have repeatedly come across the idea that we have been dying ever since we were born. There is a mystery in birth that is not to be considered greater than the mystery in death. We are all hurtling towards death the moment we are born. As someone has said, “I do not fear dying. It is how I am to die that has been shivering in my boots.”

Memento mori means remember that you have to die. Once I wrote in this blog about being aghast at seeing the star of The Chosen wearing skull rings. Then I realized they were to remind him he too will have to die. Here is a video short where he explains ….

Courage to live this day fully. Yes, Lord, I need courage for that!

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Illness and Health, medical treatment, Poetry, Prayer, Surrender, Trust, Yield

Chronic

Chronic means: continuing or occurring again and again for a long time. Being, providing, or requiring long-term medical care. Always present or encountered, especially : constantly vexing, weakening, or troubling.

This pain will not go away. Yes, it waxes and wanes, but it is never going to leave me until I die. I get so tired of it all. Lately I have especially had great difficulty when trying to get to sleep at night.

Today I will not have any caffeine at all in the afternoon. I will set up sleep meditations in case I cannot drift off on my own.

There are times when no matter how I prepare or take care of myself the chronic pain disrupts my life, my goals, my rhythm of living. There has not been a medication found to treat this. There are a few that help with some of the symptoms, but nothing that covers the umbrella of distress. It is chronic and sometimes crushing. I tell Bob there are times I feel as if I have been ground into a powder.

Why am I putting this in the blog? Well, there are likely others out there struggling with this or a similar problem. Sometimes I can get away from the all consuming pain sensations by getting focused upon a challenge or a project such as writing. Even one hour of departure from the torture chamber can be good. Cooking for an hour while singing favorite praise music can help. Sadly not every hour of the day can be spent planning a project, performing a task or rejoicing over a task completed.

I keep hearing snippets of a poem from 1985. When I looked for it just now it was about relationship trouble, not necessarily physical struggle.

Eleven Fifty-three Post Meridiem ©Molly Lin Dutina


Nighttime and the Unresolved
Come marching to my bedroom
Tramping through my head
Hurling accusations
Quoting words once said
Reason takes a low profile
While logic flees the scene
Where is the solution
For circumstances now turned mean
Never, shoulds, and woulds
Paint dismal, hopeless scenes
Understanding vanishes
Deep each insult bleeds.
Forgiveness is the answer
That makes the war to cease.


Let it go. Let go. Release.
Present moment calls to me
Be NowHere in God’s sweet peace
A song can be resung
The past can’t be undone
But pouring in forgiveness
The fall-out is made numb


Come to here and now
Feast on today’s plenty
In gratitude for all
Dare to now drink deeply
From streams of joy and love
We are granted
Only to
“Live our lives by moments”
Aren’t we now
1985

Though “Come to the here and now, feast on today’s plenty, in gratitude for all” does help me cope. When I come to the here and now in a painful night I have to place my focus upon Jesus Christ who loves me better than I love myself. I offer my pain on behalf of another. (I am not quite certain how that works, but I make the offering regardless.) I remember to breathe in Jesus and breathe out me, or breathe out my pain. I try not to watch the clock. Rest, just rest. Sink into the center down silence of love and peace.

I am seriously a work in progress. There is no medication that can help me with this. With St. Patrick I try to “arise today through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity with belief in the threeness and confession of the oneness towards the Creator.” Help me Lord not to project fear or negativity on this day and whatever it might bring. Help me to lie down tonight in Your arms of love and rest in Your everlasting care.

I will try to remember to pray compline especially with the wonderful portion of Psalm 4

verse 8 I lie down in peace; at once I call asleep; for only you, LORD, make me dwell in safety.

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Faith, Focus, Humor, Joy, Marriage and Memories, Music, Praise, Prayer, Thanks, Trust, Yield

Morning of Our 56th

Awoke singing this in my heart:

I could have danced all night
I could have danced all night
And still have begged for more

I could have spread my wings
And done a thousand things
I've never done before

I'll never know what made it so exciting
Why all at once my heart took flight
I only know when he began to dance with me
I could have danced, danced, danced all night

Yes, after 56 years I am more than willing to dance with Robert Milan. We have FUN together. Sometimes he carries his teasing and jokes too far for my emotion at a given moment, but overall, we have fun.

We create humor and jokes between ourselves. We are friends, yes, even best friends. There are times he gets on my last nerve and I get on his, but we each get over that and move on.

On this date in Edges of His Ways Amy wrote:

It is the little things of life, the minute, unimportant-looking things, that are most likely to shatter our peace, because they are so small that we are very likely to fight them ourselves instead of looking up at once to our Strong God, our Barrier between us and them. “Close the gate, or bar up the way, as the cloudy pillar formed a barricade between the Egyptians and Israel” is Kay’s note.

The deaths of Ginny and Chuck Lynch have taught us how short life is, how unexpectedly death can come and now is the time to love and laugh, to cherish and sing.

When I saw Bob Dutina for the first time, at a distance, it really was love at first sight. I have never understood exactly how our lives came to be together; however, I am grateful and blessed to have been given the gift of this incredible marriage.. Thanks be to God!

Psalm 90:12. So teach us to number our days that we may apply our hearts to wisdom.

Posted on in Aging, Faith, Family, Humor, Marriage and Memories, Memories, Praise, Thanks

Our Anniversary!

We are delighted to announce our marriage continues! Thanks be to God and His mercies! Someone was said to be making bets at the time of our wedding that our marriage would not last. I think we can put that rumor in the grave now.

Bury it here

Celebration? We will have a quiet dinner at a local restaurant called Trios (even though they do not have Crème brûlée). Perhaps we can find that in a couple weeks for Bob’s birthday? Addendum: They had a delicious Creme brûlée!

We will not actually celebrate on the date as our Granddaughter is having an engagement party on that date and it is her birth date!

So as we move forward I hope to be writing about

our life together, fifty-six years after that whirlwind courtship and wedding.

After the vows in 1970

Praise the Lord!
Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good;
For His mercy is everlasting.
— Psalm 106:1 (NASB)

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Collection of Quotes, Faith, Just do it, Listen, Look, Praise, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Trust, Yield

Fear of Change

A quote from the series “The Hammond Family Farm,” “He knew that teenagers thought everything that happened today meant that was how things would be forever. Boone knew far better than that.”

That is so like our thinking. Even in my 70s I often think like a teenager, grasping things as if they will be this way forever. Good and bad things. I forget things change, whether I like it or not.

Then there is this:

In 2018 I journaled the following. “Change is inevitable. Come to expect it.” If only I had that tattooed on my hand, I could see it daily and perhaps remember that when I am strolling in my comfort zone, that too is subject to change. Perhaps the seasons changing so dramatically are our reminder from God that nothing remains the same except God.”

Life is full of mystery. The mystery is our invitation to let go and to embrace uncertainty with the fullness of our being. This is how hope becomes our bearing. It’s how it becomes our compass in uncertain times. Joe Primo

“Hope becomes our bearing and our compass”

“Joe Primo is the CEO of Grateful Living. He is a passionate speaker and community-builder whose accomplishments made him a leading voice on resilience and adversity. Gratefulness for life, he believes, is foundational to discovering meaning and the only response that is big enough and appropriate for the plot twists, delights, surprises, and devastation we encounter along the way. ” https://grateful.org/joe-primo/

I have come to regard Joe with high praise. He was a Hospice Chaplain for many years. That gives a person a unique insight on the best ways to LIVE. The bold text above summarizes his embrace regarding the importance of gratefulness. Please read it one more time slowly.

The purple quote above says let go and embrace uncertainty with the fullness of our being. I am not there yet! Indeed, I have not arrived. Yes, Lord, I need hope for my compass.

“Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul.“ Emily Dickinson

Right after I noted this Dickinson quote for the blog it showed up in a TV show. Just like God to send me a reminder. “Let go and to embrace uncertainty with the fullness of our being.”

Are you willing to try it this week? And the week after that? And the week after that? I am praying that the next time you see a feather you will remember Emily and Joe, see the hope that perches in your soul, embrace uncertainty with the fullness of your being.

Peace is an invitation in daily life to breathe deep, right here, in the uncertainty. MORGAN HARPER NICHOLS

Peace. Hope. Uncertainty. They are our companions. “We Can Complain Because Rose Bushes Have Thorns, or Rejoice Because Thorn Bushes Have Roses.” No one is certain who created this sentiment, but many encourage us to be grateful for life and embrace the changes that come our way, uncertain though that way may be.

Bob Dylan is quoted as having said, “There is nothing so stable as change.”