Squirrels have been a joke in our family for many years. Bob originally shot at them in our first house with his BB gun. The squirrels were always climbing into and all over our platform bird feeder. The joke was he was such a poor shot that we had a tailless squirrel, a squirrel with one eye and another with one leg. Actually it was a cheap gun and the sights were never lined up correctly. So eventually the kids began buying us Christmas tree ornaments of squirrels and humorous statues of squirrels.
It was no surprise when our oldest Grandgirl began drinking tea that she shared from her package of Amazon teabag holders with us. Yep, two squirrels.
Last week while making tea, for the first time ever I wound up knocking the squirrel into the jar of scalding water!
I cracked up when I imagined myself asking a guest, “May I offer you a cup of freshly brewed Scalded Silicone Squirrel?”
Keep laughing! It is the best way to get through life.
I am listening to the book “The Dangerous Old Woman, Myths and Stories of the Wise Woman Archtype” by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, PhD. Clarissa is an award-winning poet, certified Jungian psychoanalyst, post-trauma recovery specialist, and cantadora (keeper of the old stories in the Latina tradition). This work is powerful and speaks to my age and current interests.
Here is a blessing she wrote. I had to read this several times.
Hymn of Gratitude by Clarisa Pinkola Estés
“For We Are Pleased by Dangerous Old Women and Their Wild and Wise Daughters.”
For all the elders of the world, each and every kind ever created, those who have been carried gently by the waves, and those who have been half-wrecked by any number of storms and squalls, those who have clung to the wreckage long enough to make it halfway in, and thence to have gained landfall.
For the elders, who in all their variegations, in all their sorrows and talents, who now stand shy or certain, semi-disheveled or pulled together, but nonetheless hip-wide and proud.
For the tribes of the grand elder women, in all their feathers and pelts, and all their leaves and skins and skirts, and all their las ropas guerreras, their warrior full-dress, in their wings and sashes and shawls, with their ceremonial broaches and necklaces, and staves of authority, in all their athletic and tender pride, in all their beaks and tails and tulle and toile, all flashing and sashaying, and all their sauntering and sensuality, in all their unexpected and outrageous behaviors, and all their eccentricities, in all their tribal paint and lace and denim, in all their clan colors and insignias of power, all their fierce and gentle blood and shining eyes.
For all their conserving and sacrificing and generous ways, for their supreme caring that decency, creative life, and care for the soul should not vanish from the face of this earth.
For all this blessed beauty within them, for them let us pray strength and healing, straight down into their courage bones forever… …let us be granted that we stand in their danger … forever Amen
Just makes me sigh, "Wow!"
Think for a few moments about the women you have known who fit this description. “Let us pray stregnth and healing, straight down into their courage bones forever…”
“Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance and order and rhythm and harmony.”
The Lakota prayer I posted yesterday reminds me of what Thomas Merton knew. Balance, order, rhythm, harmony. Gratitude, interconnectedness, awareness.
For my birthday I spontaneously invited some family and friends for a dinner at Los Cabos Mexican restaurant. It was great to hear Emily talking with her Dad about decorating her office with his photos. Our Granddaughter chatting with her Dad and sister. Other Granddaughter at my encouragement showing off her ring and her fiancee. My oldest friend getting to know a newer friend. Each of them ordering what they wanted to eat knowing in advance that Bob would pick up the tab for all of us.
There was laughter and smiles, joy, and the wonderful feelings of being surrounded by family and good friends. I missed those who were unable to attend. It was not until we got home that I realized the photos were all taken before the engaged Grandgirl and her fiancee arrived. Oh well! At least THIS time I remembered to insist on a couple photos 🙂
We took a chocolate cake to share with the family and friends. Cut a piece for the waiter, too! At the end of our meal the restaurant placed a huge hat on my head and brought out a shot a tequila in an airplane that was fitted with a tiny rocket/sparkler at the end.
Lizzie, Drew, the Corgis Noodles and S’mores
Balance, order, rhythm, harmony and friends when you can gather them. Spontaneity, spur-of-the-moment. Joy even at my age!
Our church offers prayer weekly for birthdays and anniversaries. As far as the birthday people, I was indeed the oldest one up there. As I was glad to be there. Here is the prayer we say together for birthdays. It is taken from the Book of Common Prayer, page 830, prayer #51.
Watch over thy children, O Lord, as their days increase; bless and guide them wherever they may be. Strengthen them when they stand; comfort them when discouraged or sorrowful; raise them up if they fall; and in their hearts may thy peace which passes understanding abide all the days of their lives; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. Isaiah 46:4 NIV
When we travel to the American Southwest I am always fascinated by the Native peoples. Many years ago I read about the four directions and the Native American prayers. I came across this on Insight Timer and wanted to share it with you. To me it is one of the most beautiful renditions of that prayer I have ever read.
Four Directions Prayer
Creator, it is I. Thank you for today’s sunrise, for the breath and life within me, and for all of your creations. Creator hear my prayer and honor my prayer.
As the day begins with the rising sun, I ask, spirit keeper of the east, Brother Eagle, be with me. Fly high as you carry my prayers to the creator. May I have eyes as sharp as yours, so I am able to see truth and hope on the path I have chosen. Guide my step and give me courage to walk the circle of my life with honesty and dignity.
Spirit keeper of the south, Wolf, be with me. Help me to remember to love and feel compassion for all mankind. Help me to walk my path with joy and love for myself, for others, for the four legged, the winged ones, the plants and all creation upon Mother Earth. Show me it is right for me to make decisions with my heart, even if at times, my heart becomes hurt. Help me to grow and nurture my self-worth in all ways.
Spirit keeper of the west, Brown Bear, be with me. Bring healing to the people I love and to myself. Bring into balance the physical, mental and spiritual, so I am able to know my place on this earth, in life and in death. Heal my body, heal my mind and bring light, joy and awareness to my spirit.
Spirit keeper of the north, White Buffalo, be with me. As each day passes, help me to surrender, with grace, the things of my youth. Help me to listen to the quiet and find serenity and comfort in the silences as they become longer. Give me wisdom so I am able to make wise choices in all things which are put in front of me, and when time for my change of worlds has come, let me go peacefully, without regrets, for the things I neglected to do as I walked along my path.
Mother Earth, thank you for your beauty, and for all you have given me. Remind me never to take from you more than I need and remind me to always give back more than I take.
– Vera Dery Lakota Prayer
Take the time today to thank your God and Creator for all that blesses your life! Perhaps read the prayer again, slowly. None of us prospers well all by ourself.
Here and now is the present moment, the only life we have, RIGHT NOW. When we don’t like what we see most of us tend to avoid looking. Like a child on a stormy night who takes little peaks from under the covers, we only glance occasionally at what is going on.
This used to be me. I am trying to pray for the strength and courage that I need to face my life. The quote below got my attention.
When we are willing to be intimate with what actually is here now, to look directly at all of our experience, we might recognize that this is our life, however different from our thoughts and ideas about it.
ROSHI PAT ENKYO O’HARA ( Molly has no idea who this is)
“Look directly at all of our experience,” and by doing that the writer showed a discovery. Our thoughts and ideas about what our life is or is about to become usually differs from reality. Isn’t that strange? We think we are so advanced and educated and civilized. Then suddenly we discover that our thinking is faulty, wrong, ideas all askew.
Sometimes the reality is better, sometimes worse. I believe the thrust here is the difference.
As I write this Bob is baking my favorite birthday cake. I know he is taking it out of the oven because the timer just rang. The sound I am hearing is him poking holes in the white cake so the cream of coconut that he pours over the batter will soak into the cake. It is so rich and sweet that each year I only allow myself a smaller and smaller piece or my glucose levels go wild. But the taste of this cake is delicious. Yes, like it or not I am a Type 2 diabetic. Nothing will change that. I can lengthen my life somewhat by monitoring what I eat. I can shorten it by years if I choose to ignore the dietary guidelines and eat whatever I want.
When I was first diagnosed I was terrified. I began measuring portions for almost every single meal. I learned to count calories and carbs for the first time in my life. Eventually I calmed down and began to find the meals and combinations that are ‘safe’ for me, appropriate portions without being so very frightened about it. (Pizza and beer is not a good low carb combination!)
This year I turn 76. I take lots of medication and even insulin injections for the diabetes. So far, I do not need to test and inject at every meal. There does not SEEM to be an insulin pump in my future. Looking at my overall health gives a much better picture of reality than a single day or evening.
“Be intimate with what is actually here now.” Are you? Rick Hansen, wrote in his book Just One Thing, that there is power is saying to ourselves, “I am okay right now. I am okay right now.” Some of us tend to awfulize about what MIGHT happen. “Awfulize refers to an irrational and dramatic thoughtpattern, characterized by the tendency to overestimate the potential seriousness or negative consequences of events, situations, or perceived threats.” https://psychologydictionary.org/awfulizing/
We can also catastrophize. “Catastrophizing is a cognitive distortion that prompts people to jump to the worst possible conclusion, usually with very limited information or objective reason to despair. When a situation is upsetting, but not necessarily catastrophic, they still feel like they are in the midst of a crisis.” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/catastrophizing Are you prone to jump to despair?
Is life a catastrophy? Is it truly awful?
But what about right now? This very minute. Are you okay right now? To me one of the most important things that Rick Hanson, phd, wrote in his book Just One Thing is the idea he gained through his psychology practice of directing patients to the present moment and asking them, to take a “close look at this moment, right now. Probably, you are basically all right: no one is attacking you, you are not drowning, no bombs are falling, there is no crisis. It’s not perfect, but you’re okay.” He goes on to suggest, “In daily life, it’s possible to access this fundamental sense of all-rightness even while getting things done..”
This video is from years ago, same author, same message.
He goes on to write, “The fear that bad things will happen if you let yourself feel okay is unfounded; let this sink in. You do not need to fear feeling all right!”
If you have not gotten this book yet, please do. Purchase it for yourself or check your local library. He also gives advice for when you are really NOT all right.
Robert Milan Dutina, the love of my life has a birthday today and I am privileged to make him his favorite carrot cake. Bob is truly a gift from God to me!
This man is kind and considerate. He can get along with anyone who makes an effort to be civil. For decades he has made it his practice not only to read the Bible but to try to live the commands of Jesus in everyday life.
His sense of humor is boundless. Sometimes he drives me wild when I am not in the mood and he continues with his humor. There are as many voices in his repertoire as a stand up comedian. He has a schtick for almost any situation.
As to his birthday cake, I got the recipe years ago from a woman who swore I would like it. To me carrot cake always sinks like a rock in my stomach. Turns out most recipes have a full cup of oil in them. Hers has only 1-1/2 tablespoons. It is complete with cream cheese frosting. He likes his cake best after it has been refrigerated. Several of his friends in the laboratory where he worked made such a deal over his cake, he continues to deliver a piece (or 2) to those people even though they are all retired now. So yes, Bob is generous. The opening photo is from last year’s cake!
When he heard that Gary had Parkinson’s disease he began visiting him several times a month. When Gary finally passed Bob continued visiting his widow and son. She is now slipping into dementia, but he continues to make an effort to see her with some regularity. Bob is kind and his faith carries over into day to day life.
He is organized and tiny to the point where I dubbed him “Mr. Tidy” and he knows I call him that. His desk is more than likely clear and mine is more like an inch or two deep in projects. He likes the sticker I bought that says, “Creative minds are rarely tidy.” He has been my editor in chief over my writing projects. He is very intelligent.
As we enter our twilight years Bob continues to try to keep pushing himself into activity. Sometimes I wonder if he has sense enough to go sit down and rest? Occasionally he stops in his recliner for a moment or two. I am glad to see that!
We debate who will die first. Neither of us knows for certain. If I die first his goal is to spend 2 or 3 months in Paris mourning. If he dies first I go to the Aran Islands in Ireland to mourn.
Happy birthday to my loving man of 56 years. What a ride!
When Ginny passed her sons gave me her knitting supplies, yarn and projects. I passed almost all of the yarn on to several other places. There was a hat she had left on the needles that I really liked. It seemed to be just knit and purl. I took it to the Crochet and Knit senior center group that I attend on Wednesday mornings. They encouraged me to try it. I was amazed that I was able to finish it and get it off the needles!
I was a shameless braggart at the group the next week. So proud of myself! Ginny, you inspire me even beyond the grave!
I also inherited from her some bulky yarn. I have never worked with bulky yarn before. I decided to begin another hat with it. I found a free pattern on line and started one. I did not get the beginning border perfect, but I am learning. Before I knew it I had that hat finished also! Now I just need to find the pompom maker to top off this red wonder. Both hats will likely go to one of the 5 charities we contribute to provide winter warmth for kiddos and the homeless.
I always joke that the senior group wanted me to learn the pattern to knit washcloths. They have a nice edge on them that looks fancy. I could get the design on two of the edges, but always messed us the other two edges. I guess I will take my courage in hand and try that next!
After 55 years of crocheting it is an entire new ballgame to knit. For those who do not now crochet requires one hook. Knitting requires you to hold two needles.
I could have danced all night I could have danced all night And still have begged for more
I could have spread my wings And done a thousand things I've never done before
I'll never know what made it so exciting Why all at once my heart took flight I only know when he began to dance with me I could have danced, danced, danced all night
Yes, after 56 years I am more than willing to dance with Robert Milan. We have FUN together. Sometimes he carries his teasing and jokes too far for my emotion at a given moment, but overall, we have fun.
We create humor and jokes between ourselves. We are friends, yes, even best friends. There are times he gets on my last nerve and I get on his, but we each get over that and move on.
On this date in Edges of His Ways Amy wrote:
It is the little things of life, the minute, unimportant-looking things, that are most likely to shatter our peace, because they are so small that we are very likely to fight them ourselves instead of looking up at once to our Strong God, our Barrier between us and them. “Close the gate, or bar up the way, as the cloudy pillar formed a barricade between the Egyptians and Israel” is Kay’s note.
The deaths of Ginny and Chuck Lynch have taught us how short life is, how unexpectedly death can come and now is the time to love and laugh, to cherish and sing.
When I saw Bob Dutina for the first time, at a distance, it really was love at first sight. I have never understood exactly how our lives came to be together; however, I am grateful and blessed to have been given the gift of this incredible marriage.. Thanks be to God!
Psalm 90:12. So teach us to number our days that we may apply our hearts to wisdom.
Seems like wherever I turn these days folks are seeking direction and fulfillment for their everyday lives. I keep returning again and again to Rumi, the poet, theologian, Islamic scholar, and Sufi Mystic. I am not looking to replace my Christian faith, but this guy understood the depths of mysticism and genuine faith.
Merriam-Webster defines mysticism as a religious practice based on the belief that knowledge of spiritual truth can be gained by praying or thinking deeply. I know Jesus would agreed.
Be like a tree and let the dead leaves drop. There are quite a few dead leaves dropping around here and summer is not even complete. How about the things we fill our lives with that do not fulfill us? Can we drop some of those and be more like the tree described in the Psalms?
Happy are those who do not follow the advice of the wicked or take the path that sinners tread or sit in the seat of scoffers, 2 but their delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law they meditate day and night. 3 They are like trees planted by streams of water, which yield their fruit in its season, and their leaves do not wither. In all that they do, they prosper. Psalm 1:1-13 NRSVUE
Whatever lifts the corners of your mouth, trust that. There is a local billboard that states “If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours.” It is powerful advice. Our worship service has children participate especially in collecting the offering. There is also a special children’s sermon that is delightful. I am always refreshed by the children. And they know how to smile!
Before I had the recent foot surgery if I saw someone in a wheelchair I made an effort to get on their eye level and greet them with a smile. Since I have so recently driven electric wheelchair shopping carts in so many different stores I am even more inclined to do that. It is an entirely different world down there. Most people just hurry past and ignore those who are seated. Try giving those folks a smile of yours! If you have never driven one of those carts, the next time you see them lined up for charging you should try one, just to gain a new perspective! Of course, if there is only one or two please leave it for those of us who cannot walked the area of American mega-stores! There are some people who would see me reaching for an item and ask if they could help me with it. There is still kindness all around us!
Hard, but oh so true. Constantly flowing, never clinging, always embracing the new. Wowsers. Here are just a couple of short songs to keep you in the ways of a river today.
