Category: Surrender

Posted on in Faith, Humor, Illness and Health, Just do it, Marriage and Memories, Special Event, Surrender

Text Message

“Hello. Sadly. I must make you aware that our wonderful member ____ ______ passed away last evening at Jewish Hospital. Please pray for all of us especially her husband, _______.”

What? She’s dead? I was just at Jewish yesterday dropping off a neighbor for a 3 day chemo stay. She was still in the hospital? Had I known I would have held her hand and whispered a prayer over her.

I cannot believe she is gone! I will never have her tease me with her droll humor again? Did she suffer? Last I heard there was something with her lungs. Was it the cancer that took her out? WHAT?

I am in shock. I am reeling with this sad news. She taught us the principles from Capacitar Emotional Freedom tapping for ‘unblocking and healing strong emotions’. When Bob and I were driving through North Dakota I was trying to tell him about how tapping works to lower stress. When we drifted over the center line he blurted out, “Tap faster! Tap faster!” Then we passed a road with her last name. It was hilarious. When I relayed the story to her, she caught the joke immediately. https://treasuresinplainsight.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=4358&action=edit

She was a friend. A dear companion. We did Journey Together In Stitches, (JTIS) not just sharing patterns, but comic relief and life. She knew the Catechism by heart. She could quote our baptismal vows better than any other lay person I know.

She hated big corporations, especially Amazon that she felt robbed her friend in the disposable diaper business. She refused to buy from Amazon. Would not receive a gift if it came through Amazon. A woman of principles.

She used to put on this pouty little black girl act when I would say something declarative. “Don’t be thinking you can tell me what to do!” And then she was off, telling me off and making us all laugh. Once I finally said, “Your mamma must have had her hands full with you!”

And now she is with her mamma. And her daddy. And we are left here alone, without her.

I bought her a Grogu because she was so enamored by him. What will happen to her Grogu now? What about her yarn and hooks and patterns? I am just too sad to even think about this more.

It is a shock. She would brag on her neighbor the master gardener.

She was loving. She was kind to all of us. We will miss her dearly. She took Education For Ministry classes with our fellow knitter, Lizann, taught by my dear friend Hawley. I still cannot comprehend that she is dead and gone to Jesus.

I have been told we can expect this as our peers grow older, but I was not ready for this shock. I am so sorry I did not go inside the hospital and ask if she was still a patient there. I assumed she had gone home. Oh Lord, what a loss. I had texted her and emailed and called. When there was no response I thought she was just tired or busy.

Now I will never hear her voice again. This is raw loss. Worse than bloody meat. This is pain and angst, aching loss and not to be filled by anything else.

She was always making a prayer shawl, a blanket for CASA kids or something for a niece or nephew. The colors she put together were lovely. She could encourage Mary like nobody else. “You do too know how to crochet! And your creations are beautiful!”

The three of us had birthdays in November. We would try to celebrate at JTIS with a fun dessert for all.

I suppose she would tell me to go do tapping to relieve my sorrow. I am not sure that will work this time, my friend. You will be sorely missed.

The magazine Psychology Today reports on the benefits of tapping. This article focuses on anxiety, but it has proven to have multiple uses. I hope you will look it up!

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/soul-console/202503/tap-your-way-to-calm-in-5-minutes-with-5-steps

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Illness and Health, Marriage and Memories, Obedience, Praise, Rest, Spiritual discipline, Surrender, Thanks, Trust

Think on This One

Grateful living is important in the world because in our constant pursuit of more and better we can easily lose sight of the riches that lay right in front of us and within us. Guri Mehta

Are you in a constant pursuit of more and better?
Do you easily lose sight of the riches that are right in front of you?

I can do both of those things. I can be in constant pursuit of more and better, and likely do it with no conscious effort. So soaked in this American culture, asking where is the next great thrill? Where is the next thing I can afford to add to our collection of things? Things we cannot possibly take with us.

What about the things right in front of me? Can I realize there are riches? Not just compared to impoverished countries, but compared to my life decades ago. Yes, there was a time we barely scraped by with the funds Bob earned. We worked and scrimped and saved. Now we are both retired from earning wages and live off what we saved and what he inherited from his parents. Living conscious of our means we seek to not go into debt we cannot repay.

But what about the non-monetary things? The experience of living in close proximity with the neighbors who are both terribly ill makes us more aware of the treasure our love and marriage provide. They have five or six more years of marriage than we do, but in this day and age the longevity of our relationship is nothing to sneeze at. We are blessed.

I have always said, “Divorce is not an option. Murder maybe, but not divorce!” And yes, there are times when we each think of murdering the other. We have not changed each other over this half a century as much as we have adapted to one another. Yet, we are deeply blessed. Grateful living indeed.

As my chronic pain seems to increase and health challenges arise I want to see the life I have as one to be celebrated with gratitude. As evening falls and the physical problems seem to intensify I want to find a way to enter into acceptance of them and rest without trying to do battle. It has been said that we increase our suffering by resisting and wanting things to be different than they are. I know that to be true.

Lord, I need your help to come to the place of rest in all of this. Your remind me in Matthew 11 “Come to me all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest.” Yes, Lord, help me enter into your rest when it comes to evening pain and distress. Help me rejoice in your presence and great promises. I know you have promised to stay with me to the end. Be very present Lord, I pray.

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit 20 and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”Matthew 28:19-20 NRSVUE

Posted on in Challenge, Faith, Just do it, Memories, Music, Praise, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Thanks, Trust, Yield

Every Day

I first heard about CeCe Winans many years ago when I worked at “Having The Courage To Change,” a housing center for women who were coming out of prison and/or drug and alcohol treatment. The women there loved her music and soon I did too!

Do you worship every day? If not, try this one.

All my life you have been so so good.

I’ve known you as a father. I’ve known you as a friend.

As the saying goes: “No god, no peace. Know God, know peace.”

I do not care how you worship. Do you know Jesus and have you spoken with him today?

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Challenge, Family, Joy, Memories, Nature, Poetry, Praise, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender

Mother’s Day

This year to celebrate Mother’s Day my daughter decided we should visit the butterfly show at our local Krohn Conservatory. We had not attended for several years. It was a warm and humid day. Just what the butterfly’s love. The title was Monarchs, but I was disappointed that there were not more Monarch butterflies present. In fact, I saw none, even in the hatching cages. The children however never disappoint me at such a display. They are always in wonder and delighted when a butterfly lands on someone and they can see it up close! I just love when a child declares, “He likes me!”

closed
same subject opened

The above is the Morpho, largest in the display. The butterflies suffer damaged wings mostly from being caught in the covers of the circulating fans. They are still lovely and majestic though.

One subject, moving around for another sip and another. I believe this is a Julia. We grew these “Mexican Sunflowers” once at the edge of our compost pile. They were very tall and draw hundreds of butterflies!

A child pointed out this transparent winged specimen. How lovely!

It was a hard angle to capture this beauty. Called a Glasswing from Central America !

They loved feeding on the dishes of cut fruit.

It was fun to put another butterfly memory in the books. Thanks, Em!

How many butterflies can you spot this week around your home?

Butterfly Living © Molly Lin Dutina 1982 
Butterfly living, now that's for me!
Glory bound and incredibly free!
Made to be a joy to Thee!
Strengthen me for wings of liberty.

For freedom Christ has set us free. Stand firm, therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1 NRSVUE
For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death. Romans 8:2 NRSVUE
Posted on in Art, Challenge, Faith, Joy, Listen, Look, Obedience, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Thanks, Yield

Trinity Sunday

Last Sunday we celebrated the Trinity at church. “O Father; who with the Son and the Holy Spirit live and reign, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.” ends the collect for the day. The unfathomable, unknowable, ever present and loving God. We practice devotion and know some how that the Trinity is one.

Our Prayers of the People began with: “God who is unknowable and yet as close as our breath, help us to see you. ” Yes, God, open our physical eyes and the eyes of our heart to know and see and experience you.

I have been taken lately by tiny diagrams. The above was on our bulletin cover.

Using the Grateful Living challenge I have noticed that a tiny image is used in the corner of each daily practice. This little line drawing summarizes the challenge of the day. Oh I wish I could draw like that!

Superhero
Sharing joy
One playful joyful way to stand up
Share joy with others

And perhaps that is how our Trinity one God does things. Simple line drawings, opening doors for us to share with others. As humans we complicate almost everything having to do with God. Jesus taught us simplicity. Will we cling to that simple way of knowing, being known, loving and loving others?

May you know the Trinity as One. May you see the path before you as well lit and as something you can follow. Look to the One who loves you best and take the next step!

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Challenge, Faith, Just do it, Look, Memories, Nature, Obedience, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Trust, Worship, Writing Life, Yield

New Project

My new project entails gathering the object lessons the Lord has given me over the years to encourage me and keep me walking the road laid out before me. I will likely post of few of these during the coming months. The following is entitled “Called At the Beach To Write More.”

How does an object lesson usually come to you? Mine can jump up any time I call upon the Lord for guidance. I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised,
    so I shall be saved from my enemies. Psalm 18:3 NRSVUE

While walking the beach in Florida we were searching for shells. I came upon this one. It is called Sunray Venus Clam.

It reminds me of lined paper. (College ruled is my favorite).

Then I came upon this one.

Atlantic Pen Shell

That got me thinking about ink wells, and fountain pens. Oh my, this was a call to write more!

Then the Lord answered me and said:
Write the vision;
    make it plain on tablets,
    so that a runner may read it. Habakkuk 2:2 NRSVUE

Years ago a cousin older than me gave me the above verse to hold to. I was not certain she heard right. Time has shown she evidently heard exactly right for me!

The shells comprised another confirmation that I am to write and keep telling what God is doing in my life and can do in the lives of others. I keep these shells around to remind me, lest I ever doubt the call again. Or for the times I get just plain lazy about it. Lord, prod me with the shells and forgive me for being lazy, I pray.

Posted on in Spiritual growth, Book quotes, Faith, Yield, Challenge, Spiritual discipline, Art, Surrender, Obedience, Look

The Veil

Often the veil and the curtain are mentioned in the Scriptures. I have had this on the brain for a couple of weeks. The veil usually refers to the lack of understanding among the Hebrew population regarding the Messiah. The curtain is the fabric that was hung between the courts of the temple and the Holy of Holies where humans, (and only priests) were only to enter once a year, on the day of Atonement.

When Jesus was hung upon the cross, as he died the curtain was torn from top to bottom in the Holy of Holies. Thereby signifying the full access of man to the Father, bought by the blood of Jesus, our sacrifice.

This quote reminded me of that and the need for us to see the value and significance of ‘each other’s human plight.’

My wish, indeed my continuing passion, would be not to point the finger in judgment but to part a curtain, that invisible shadow that falls between people, the veil of indifference to each other’s presence, each other’s wonder, each other’s human plight.

EUDORA WELTY

Jesus parted the veil between people and the Father. Jesus also parts the curtain between us and other humans if we are willing to see with his eyes, the eyes of compassion.

Eudora reminds me that when I point the finger at others there are more fingers pointing back at me.

Searching for this image there were SO many images of our President pointing his finger at others. Sad. “That invisible shadow that falls between people, the veil of indifference to each other’s presence and plight.” I fear this has infected the entire nation at this point.

Lord, may we learn to fold our hands in prayer to you, not pointing at others. Open our eyes and our hearts to the needs of our fellow persons. Break our hearts for what breaks Yours. Help us realize the access for good that you have given us through the sacrifice of Jesus. Use us for the good of others. Amen.

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Book quotes, Look, Nature, Poetry, Rest, Spiritual discipline, Surrender, Worship, Yield

Rumble

I am trying to write this morning and the long awaited landscapers are here mowing. The huge riding mower is so loud it is drowning out sounds about the room. The windows are rattling and I wonder how I can write about the necessity of quiet when my very teeth are on edge.

And then I remember to breathe. This too shall pass. Each moment is like a bell curve. There is a beginning, a peak, and a subsequent lessening. Okay, now I hear them in the backyard, but that too will lessen as they move to the next yard and the next down the street.

Cannot even show you a photo of the man standing behind the mower as all the photos online are pristine mowers with absolutely NO grass cuttings upon them.

The point for me is how can I return to the quiet once the quiet is disrupted? Do you have a trick to do that?

I decided to step outside and try to photograph the first bachelor’s button of the season. They seeded themselves from last year and are now starting to bloom. (May 11) I might have practiced the method I wrote about in the following poem right then, but the mower was back to shear the verge so I came inside to check the photos and write the poem out for your perusal.

Page 5 in the new book Poems. 

"This poem took me into the deeper silence of meditation. For me, the center down silence of being with God is a wonderful place to be. Thus, Down repeats in the poem.

Bachelor’s Buttons

Going inward with the deep blue of the bachelor’s buttons
I sink down.
I take the encompassing blue with me.
Down.
I drop my shoulders
Down
I breathe the blue petals.
Knowing the blue from the petals will fade.
Down.
For now they wrap me in stillness.
Down.
Wash me in the blue brightness I pray.
Down.
Not Mrs. Stewart’s bluing agent.
Down.
But the true blue of fresh flower.
Down.
Peculiar petals. Down
To where I am nestled inside the flower.
Down.
Beyond pollen gathering bees.
Down.
Sitting still in the Blues.
I am restored.

Just contacted WordPress and learned a new skill! Hope you liked this layout 🙂

Typing it and editing the photos, I stop. And drop. And roll in the restoration.

Down. Help me to stay with You, Lord. “Continuously renewed Immediacy,” wrote Thomas R. Kelly in A Testament of Devotion.

Maybe you would like to read it again and try it?

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Focus, Illness and Health, Just do it, medical treatment, Surrender

Ugh!

As you read this I will have already undergone a routine colonoscopy. Yuck. Can any preparation be as gross as this one? I am a little preoccupied as I try to write this morning knowing what lies ahead for me.

The opening photo cracked me up with the scented candle in the shopping cart! Ha! As if that will be strong enough to remove the odor!!

Laxatives, ounces, upon pints, upon quarts of forced fluid intake.

The IV, the drugs. One time they gave me twilight sleep I was not quite out. That was NO FUN! Bob argued with me about my ability to be aware of what was happening. I should know what I am aware of or not. Geesh!

I know the test is preferable to not knowing and suffering the consequences of undiagnosed colon cancer. Here in Cincinnati we were recently shocked by the death of a popular TV news reporter.

“Not until last month did WKRC-TV staffers begin to wonder if something was wrong with health reporter Liz Bonis. They were stunned to learn that their “very private” colleague died Thursday, three years after being diagnosed with colon cancer. She was 58.

“A longtime Channel 12 employee told me that Bonis “told no one. We didn’t know there was an issue until the last couple of weeks when she didn’t look quite right.”

“The station, which announced her death at 7:11 p.m. Thursday, said she had five surgeries and participated in six experimental oncology drug trials since her diagnosis in April 2023. She died at home with family at her bedside, according to Channel 12’s story.

“Bonis continued to work through it all — anchoring the weekday noon news; hosting her Sunday morning one-hour What’s Happening In Health program; and doing health/medical reports for Channel 12, which aired nationwide on most of Sinclair’s 185 stations. (She’s listed as the “health and medical reporter” for Sinclair’s news team at Dayton’s WKEF-TV and WRGT-TV.)

“On her last day in the office — a week ago Friday, April 24 — she did three stories. And on Sunday and early Monday “she was texting people about possible national stories that could be done,” says Franco Gentile, WKRC-TV vice president and general manager.

“Bonis — a registered dietician, certified personal trainer and a Diabetes educator — “told no one she was sick. In the last months and especially the last few weeks we suspected and knew something was wrong but were never told anything,” another Channel 12 veteran told me. “We didn’t dare ask because she wouldn’t have admitted anything. I think what surprised most of us was how long she’d been fighting.”

So Liz, thank you for your inspiration to do a test I dread. You were quite a testament to what is possible. For the rest of us, please take care of your health and get the tests the doctors think are fitting for your age and continued health. No fun, but just do it!

Posted on in Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Focus, Listen, Look, Praise, Rest, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Thanks, Trust

Project Completed

It is not unusual when I complete a project to feel a release, a let down, perhaps a turning loose of the tension. When I was in retreat and folks around me were celebrating the publication of the book of poems, I was asking the Lord, “What next?”

Several times during the appointed times of prayer at the Convent we read Psalm 139. Verse 4 in the prayer book, which is verse 5 in most Bibles, struck me. The first time I just noted it. The second time I wrote it out. Now I have been doing some study through the Logos app regarding that verse.

The promises here are astounding. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Even though I do not feel your touch, your word assures me you lay your hand upon me. I am yours. I am never abandoned, never alone. You shall lead me and hold me fast.

Matthew Henry wrote: “Thou knowest me in every part of me: Thou hast beset me behind and before, so that, go which way I will, I am under thy eye and cannot possibly escape it. Thou hast laid thy hand upon me, and I cannot run away from thee.” Wherever we are we are under the eye and hand of God. Perhaps it is an allusion to the physician’s laying his hand upon his patient to feel how his pulse beats or what temper he is in. God knows us as we know not only what we see, but what we feel and have our hands upon. All his saints are in his hand which tenderly holds their aching head.

U wrote: In proportion as we are fully reconciled to God, and love Him, and rejoice in Him, it will become a cause of joy to reflect that our best Friend is never away from us, that our Protector’s hand is never removed, that the great observant eye of divine love is never closed. 

He continues, “We may judge as to our position before God by this test—is the thought of His constant observation of us a subject of joy or of dread? If we dread it, surely we have the old spirit of bondage still upon us. But if we rejoice in it, then we may know that we have received the Spirit of adoption whereby we cry, “Abba, Father.”  Spurgeon went on to take a military point of view with the idea of Beset me behind and before. My response was, “Really? Do we have to take that view?”

Nelson Study Bible said, “The purpose of His intimate knowledge of His servants is protective and helpful, not judgmental and condemning.”

Yes Lord, I believe this. You protect and help me. As I confess my sins you are faithful and just to forgive me my sins and cleanse me from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9) Therefore, I can rest in your encompassing care and closeness. You are my Abba, Father.

And the New Commentary on the Whole Bible by J D Douglas 1990 says,”laid thine hand upon me—This is the body language of blessing (Gen. 48:14, 17). This level of being known and accepted overwhelms the psalmist.”

For me there is nothing to fear in these verses, nothing to run from. Why would I not accept the hand of blessing from my God upon my head? We are known and loved. Do not be overwhelmed. Sit with your God and receive.