My life is but a weaving between by God and me; I cannot choose the colors He worketh steadily.
Oft' times He weaveth sorrow And I in foolish pride Forget He sees the upper And I the underside.
Not 'til the loom is silent And the shuttles cease to fly, Will God unroll the canvas And explain the reason why.
The dark threads area as needful in the Weaver's skillful hand As the threads of gold and silver In the pattern He has planned.
He knows, He loves, He cares; Nothing this truth can dim. He gives the very best to those Who leave the choice to Him.
Bob and I both have some medical issues going on. We would appreciate your prayers for wisdom on for us and especially for the medical personnel involved. Details will follow when decisions are made. Until then, appreciate what you can see of the weaving of your life that is between your God and you. I like the part about “I cannot choose the colors. He works steadily.”
Pastor Bob Gerhardt tried his best to teach me that control IS indeed an illusion. I might be embracing that teaching much more today than when he first introduced it to me.
I found this story inspiring and thought provoking.
In case you are unaware a Dervish is defined as a Turkish or Persian monk, especially one who professes extreme poverty and leads an austere life, some of which perform whirling dances and vigorous chanting as acts of ecstatic devotion.
Nothing is as it seems. We so often think we have things all figured out, just like this little parrot.
“Never equate one action with another. Even though they may appear the same on the surface, truly nothing is as it seems.” Such profound wisdom in that statement!
Often I have heard people say something along the lines of, “Well my pain is not like the leukemia pain Chuck suffers. I have nothing to complain about.” Pain appears the same on the surface, but your pain is your own. Your suffering is yours, not Chuck’s. The bald parrot and the bald dervish looked similar, but had nothing in common as far as the cause of their baldness.
Do not underestimate what you go through. Do not compare your experience to others. We are all broken. Some just hide it better than others!
My neighbors have become dear friends over the last four years. They are snowbirds, which means they make me VERY uncomfortable. They are here for 5 months and then depart for 7 months or so. When they are here we are often at each other’s door. Sharing food, or borrowing something. Walking Lucky together in the afternoon. Having a meal at a favorite Mexican restaurant. Sharing snacks and an evening of Euchre. And then poof! they are gone.
We get to use their garage while they are gone. During their long time away we usually go into their home once a week or so to turn lights off and on, open blinds, flush toilets, etc. Their departure is hard on all of us, including their adult son and his young family who live here in Cincinnati. Two of her brothers live in Lima, Ohio and Indianapolis so they too miss this couple when they fly south. Yes, I experienced angst as the date drew closer.
His health has been declining rapidly and this year will be especially hard getting him through the airports and back home to Florida. When I read the selection for Lectio 365 the morning of their departure I immediately sent it along to her. She felt it was from God through me and read it before she climbed out of bed. So glad I could send her some comfort and strength.
“I choose to rejoice in the God who holds my hand today, joining with the ancient praise of all God’s people in the words of Psalm 73…
You hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever. Psalm 73:23b–26 (NLT)
She determined to hold the hand of God throughout the day as they traveled. Travel is VERY hard work and the older I get the more I declare that. Imagine traveling with a loved one in stage 4 Parkinson’s disease! Nightmare.
Lectio went on to pray: “I join David now, bringing my whole body before the Lord in prayer. I bring attention to my eyes. What attracts my gaze? Is anything distracting me? Jesus, I fix my eyes on you. Help me keep my focus on you throughout this day. I look down at my right hand. Is anything making me nervous today? Or causing my hand to tremble? Make me unshakably confident that, as I hold onto you, I am held. I place a hand on my heart. Is my heart glad today? Or is it heavy with sorrow? Holy Spirit, fill me with supernatural gladness as I invite your presence.” https://lectio365.24-7prayer.com/share/devotionals/2026-10-19/morning?locale=en
I miss our friends and neighbors. They say friends are the family you choose. We have chosen this couple. I am glad they made it back to Florida safely. I will miss them as they continue to journey with Christ through the awful disease of Parkinson’s. They remain in my prayers.
Oh my. A friend just asked me to pray. Her parents are considering buying a larger home where the young family and the older folks can all live together. I agreed that I would pray for them, but my heart was so sad that my young, vibrant neighbor who loves God might leave the neighborhood.
Her prayer is that if this is God’s will the doors to make it possible will fly open. If it is not God’s will and just the plan the humans have dreamed up, nothing will make it go.
As Gamaliel advised: “But a Pharisee in the council named Gamaliel, a teacher of the law, respected by all the people, stood up and ordered the men to be put outside for a short time. So in the present case, I tell you, keep away from these men and let them alone, because if this plan or this undertaking is of human origin, it will fail; 39 but if it is of God, you will not be able to overthrow them—in that case you may even be found fighting against God Acts 5:34, 38-39 NRSUV
It was such a gain to meet this young woman when we first moved in. It would be such a loss to me and others to have her leave the neighborhood. Losses and gains: such is life.
Corrie ten Boom advised Chuck Swindoll (and others too) to hold all things loosely. I first heard that lesson when my kids were becoming older teenagers. I need to remember the same lesson now. Us old folks tend to get crusty and stuck in our ways. Somehow we think things will always be the way they are right now – both the good and the bad things. God sends changes to each season to try to convince us to honor and cherish each stage of our lives. Still, I tend to get stuck.
Corrie said, “Pastor Swindoll, you must learn to told everything loosely – everything. Even your dear family. Why? Because the Father may wish to take one of them back to Himself, and when He does, it will hurt you if He must pry your fingers loose.”
Oh Molly, open your hands! Rejoice at the many blessings God has sent your way! Let it all stay loosely present to you. When a blessing is removed, remember how wonderful it was.
My daughter loaned me a book called “Raising Hare, a Memoir” by Chloe Dalton. I told Bob I might need to purchase the book. I keep wanting to write in it, underline passages, turn down corners, (none of which have I done). This tome especially moves me because in 2020 we found baby rabbits in our front garden, right by the front steps. {This week I have been loving our flower beds with the cheer they bring me in the midst of the panic and chaos of pandemic. I have picked and delivered multiple bouquets to neighbors and even my sister. I did notice that I need to get out there and spruce up the front flower bed from the dead leaves of last winter and general chickweed, etc. A clump of Hyacinths near the front door were especially packed with dead grass.
Today I looked and thought, “That is unnatural to have that much dead grass around the hyacinths.” Taking a break from writing I decided to move it away so the bulbs could flourish. As I reached down I realized I should probably use my handy table knife that I keep there for cleaning off shoes, just in case some mouse or unsavory had decided to move in. So I grabbed the knife and began to lift and move the grass. Noticed fur and WHAM!! there were little tiny eyes and ears. Nope, not mice! Baby bunnies!! I hurried put the grass back in place.} Many years earlier I had heard a rabbit get killed by a cat. It literally screamed. I will never forget how human the cry was. When we discovered these little bunnies we knew they were not safe jumping around the flowerbed. Plus, we owned a dog at the time and it was just a matter of time before she found them, too.https://treasuresinplainsight.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=2450&action=edit and https://treasuresinplainsight.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=2467&action=edit
Why tell you all of this? I had to capture one tiny bunny to try to put it back in the nest. I can still recall the sensation of that fluffy fur in the palm of my hand. Yes, the mother rabbit came and moved the buns. I never heard one being killed, I did not find any piles of fur. But I gained a sweet memory in that one moment holding that little one.
photo by r m dutina
Sure the book is about hares in the English countryside, not American cotton tail rabbits, but I am eating it up. What memory do you have that is precious to you? When the circumstances around it changed did you feel a loss?
Can you discern the way losses and gains move like the seasons?
Rejoice at the many blessings God has sent your way! Let it all stay loosely present to you. When a blessing is removed, remember how wonderful it was.
I was in the back garden last week and as I looked down I saw nasturtium seeds above the ground! I realized these were grown by my plants over the summer. I picked them up and brought them inside to dry for planting next spring. I was really glad I did because 2 days later I saw a chipmunk foraging in the same area! Had I not gotten the seeds when I did that chipmunk would have stuffed its cheeks and carried them away! I am certain he will find other seeds in the garden that I missed. The nasturtiums are almost finished for 2026. Each time I pick a small bouquet I think, “Oh this is likely the last one!” Until a hard freeze I might be able to enjoy them. Then it will be losses and gains again.
Summer bouquet
The rose pictured above has a few more buds on it. One large maple is all yellow and green now. The mowers set their blades lower this week. Autumn is upon us. Lord, help us remember that each season offers losses and also gains. Ha! I just saw the first slate colored Junco return for the winter 🙂
How is your courage today? Perhaps you did not need to call upon courage at all today? Maybe you feel as if all your courage drained out like dishwater from the sink. Most of us need courage in some aspect of our life.
Without courage you can’t practice any other virtue consistently. You can be anything erratically—kind, fair, true, generous, all that. But to be that thing time after time, you need courage.
MAYA ANGELOU
Do you have the courage to be consistent in your walk and life with Jesus? Each day a new beginning but hopefully with the same conviction to honor God and do the will of the Almighty over your own wishes and desires.
I have found that courage comes with increased trust in the will of God for my life. I do believe the often quoted verse in Jeremiah 29: 11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
There is a woman who is watching her husband fold under the ravages of Parkinson’s disease. She must do almost everything for him now. She requires courage to face every day. Recently she went to the store and for some reason her phone ringer was turned off. While she was away he had an episode of illness. The Paramedics tried to call her to tell her they were transporting her husband to the local hospital. They did not get an answer and left no message on the phone. Through the intervention of the Holy Spirit and the quick action of neighbors she was notified by text and actually arrived at the hospital before the ambulance.
Living with someone who suffers from a terrible disease requires courage on the part of the one who is not suffering the same malady. She needs courage to keep placing one foot in front of the other. She requires courage to face the unknown future. This is a terrible disease that will ravage his being and most likely require he will eventually be cared for at a nursing facility. For now, she is his nurse, his wife, his chief cook and dishwasher. She, too, has a disease. Though it is a rare one, it takes a toll on her every season.
God, our Father, give these caregivers the courage to walk with their loved ones day in and day out as they suffer and experience the various stages of disease.
The Benedictines remind us to keep death always before us. Most of us stuff that idea under the sofa cushions and refuse to even examine the truth therein.
By keeping death always before us we come to cherish life more than if we pretend death will never happen to us. Life is precious and to be enjoyed. Even when it is not enjoyable, there are gifts in our midst. A TV sports conflict to take our minds off ourselves. The taste of a lovely coconut macaroon to delight our senses. The change of seasons to bring us fresh air. The softness of a pet’s fur. The songs of cricket and tree frogs. The shadow cast by objects under the light of a full moon on a clear night.
We can embrace the fact of our coming death and say no to denial. I have repeatedly come across the idea that we have been dying ever since we were born. There is a mystery in birth that is not to be considered greater than the mystery in death. We are all hurtling towards death the moment we are born. As someone has said, “I do not fear dying. It is how I am to die that has been shivering in my boots.”
Memento mori means remember that you have to die. Once I wrote in this blog about being aghast at seeing the star of The Chosen wearing skull rings. Then I realized they were to remind him he too will have to die. Here is a video short where he explains ….
Courage to live this day fully. Yes, Lord, I need courage for that!
Chronic means: continuing or occurring again and again for a long time. Being, providing, or requiring long-term medical care. Always present or encountered, especially: constantly vexing, weakening, or troubling.
This pain will not go away. Yes, it waxes and wanes, but it is never going to leave me until I die. I get so tired of it all. Lately I have especially had great difficulty when trying to get to sleep at night.
Today I will not have any caffeine at all in the afternoon. I will set up sleep meditations in case I cannot drift off on my own.
There are times when no matter how I prepare or take care of myself the chronic pain disrupts my life, my goals, my rhythm of living. There has not been a medication found to treat this. There are a few that help with some of the symptoms, but nothing that covers the umbrella of distress. It is chronic and sometimes crushing. I tell Bob there are times I feel as if I have been ground into a powder.
Why am I putting this in the blog? Well, there are likely others out there struggling with this or a similar problem. Sometimes I can get away from the all consuming pain sensations by getting focused upon a challenge or a project such as writing. Even one hour of departure from the torture chamber can be good. Cooking for an hour while singing favorite praise music can help. Sadly not every hour of the day can be spent planning a project, performing a task or rejoicing over a task completed.
I keep hearing snippets of a poem from 1985. When I looked for it just now it was about relationship trouble, not necessarily physical struggle.
Nighttime and the Unresolved Come marching to my bedroom Tramping through my head Hurling accusations Quoting words once said Reason takes a low profile While logic flees the scene Where is the solution For circumstances now turned mean Never, shoulds, and woulds Paint dismal, hopeless scenes Understanding vanishes Deep each insult bleeds. Forgiveness is the answer That makes the war to cease.
Let it go. Let go. Release. Present moment calls to me Be NowHere in God’s sweet peace A song can be resung The past can’t be undone But pouring in forgiveness The fall-out is made numb
Come to here and now Feast on today’s plenty In gratitude for all Dare to now drink deeply From streams of joy and love We are granted Only to “Live our lives by moments” Aren’t we now 1985
Though “Come to the here and now, feast on today’s plenty, in gratitude for all” does help me cope. When I come to the here and now in a painful night I have to place my focus upon Jesus Christ who loves me better than I love myself. I offer my pain on behalf of another. (I am not quite certain how that works, but I make the offering regardless.) I remember to breathe in Jesus and breathe out me, or breathe out my pain. I try not to watch the clock. Rest, just rest. Sink into the center down silence of love and peace.
I am seriously a work in progress. There is no medication that can help me with this. With St. Patrick I try to “arise today through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity with belief in the threeness and confession of the oneness towards the Creator.” Help me Lord not to project fear or negativity on this day and whatever it might bring. Help me to lie down tonight in Your arms of love and rest in Your everlasting care.
I will try to remember to pray compline especially with the wonderful portion of Psalm 4
verse 8 I lie down in peace; at once I call asleep; for only you, LORD, make me dwell in safety.
Lectio 365 wrote this quote from Nouwen on his feast day:
The love that often leaves us doubtful, frustrated, angry, and resentful is the second love, that is to say, the affirmation, affection, sympathy, encouragement, and support we receive from our parents, teachers, spouses, and friends. We all know how limited, broken, and very fragile that love is… The radical good news is that the second love is only a broken reflection of the first love and that the first love is offered to us by a God in whom there are no shadows… The knowledge of Jesus’ heart is a knowledge of the heart. And when we live in the world with that knowledge, we cannot do other than bring healing, reconciliation, new life, and hope wherever we go. https://lectio365.24-7prayer.com/share/devotionals/2026-09-21/morning?locale=en
It has at times been difficult to offer the love God gives us to those around us. We knew for more than six months that both Chuck and Ginny had fatal diseases. We made an effort to take them meals, visit them when hospitalized, send texts, cut flower arrangements, anything we could think of to cheer them. It was not always easy to extend our hands and hearts to them, but we felt the Lord was asking us to do it. So we did, even when our own hearts were reluctant.
Now Chuck is dead. Ginny is dead. Our local restaurant keeps this sticker on the counter for anyone who wishes to take it home. It has been on our kitchen counter for many months urging us into obedience to God. John Wesley is reported as having said,
“Do all the good you can, By all the means you can, In all the ways you can, In all the places you can, At all the times you can, To all the people you can, As long as ever you can.”
Our time for doing good for Chuck and Ginny is over. He sent us a basket of African violets and philodendron vines just before he died. He had no idea that Bob had recently told me he would like to have another African violet! It is such a gift of love. The card on the flowers reads: “Thank you guys for your compassion, prayers, and most of all for your love. We love you, Chuck and Ginny” I see the flowers and miss them both.
The house across the street where they lived is empty now. The sons have all gone home to prepare for another funeral or celebration of life, this time for Chuck. I keep getting startled when I realize there is no one there.
Icon of Henri Nouwen by Kelly Lattimore
I hope our efforts reflected what Henri Nouwen wrote. This is not to brag to you, but to show that we never really know what the outcome of our loving, our extending the hands of Jesus to another … we never quite know what the impact will be upon the other person. All we can do is try to follow the example Jesus gives us and obey the promptings of the Holy Spirit. May the God and Father of us all be pleased. (Ephesians 4:6)
Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. 16 If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? 17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. James 2:15-17 NIV
A quote from the series “The Hammond Family Farm,” “He knew that teenagers thought everything that happened today meant that was how things would be forever. Boone knew far better than that.”
That is so like our thinking. Even in my 70s I often think like a teenager, grasping things as if they will be this way forever. Good and bad things. I forget things change, whether I like it or not.
Then there is this:
In 2018 I journaled the following. “Change is inevitable. Come to expect it.” If only I had that tattooed on my hand, I could see it daily and perhaps remember that when I am strolling in my comfort zone, that too is subject to change. Perhaps the seasons changing so dramatically are our reminder from God that nothing remains the same except God.”
Life is full of mystery. The mystery is our invitation to let go and to embrace uncertainty with the fullness of our being. This is how hope becomes our bearing. It’s how it becomes our compass in uncertain times. Joe Primo
“Hope becomes our bearing and our compass”
“Joe Primo is the CEO of Grateful Living. He is a passionate speaker and community-builder whose accomplishments made him a leading voice on resilience and adversity. Gratefulness for life, he believes, is foundational to discovering meaning and the only response that is big enough and appropriate for the plot twists, delights, surprises, and devastation we encounter along the way.” https://grateful.org/joe-primo/
I have come to regard Joe with high praise. He was a Hospice Chaplain for many years. That gives a person a unique insight on the best ways to LIVE. The bold text above summarizes his embrace regarding the importance of gratefulness. Please read it one more time slowly.
The purple quote above says let go and embrace uncertainty with the fullness of our being. I am not there yet! Indeed, I have not arrived. Yes, Lord, I need hope for my compass.
“Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul.“ Emily Dickinson
Right after I noted this Dickinson quote for the blog it showed up in a TV show. Just like God to send me a reminder. “Let go and to embrace uncertaintywith the fullness of our being.”
Are you willing to try it this week? And the week after that? And the week after that? I am praying that the next time you see a feather you will remember Emily and Joe, see the hope that perches in your soul, embrace uncertainty with the fullness of your being.
Peace is an invitation in daily life to breathe deep, right here, in the uncertainty. MORGAN HARPER NICHOLS
Peace. Hope. Uncertainty. They are our companions. “We Can Complain Because Rose Bushes Have Thorns, or Rejoice Because Thorn Bushes Have Roses.” No one is certain who created this sentiment, but many encourage us to be grateful for life and embrace the changes that come our way, uncertain though that way may be.
Bob Dylan is quoted as having said, “There is nothing so stable as change.”
Such devastation from floods, fire, drought, scorching heat?
“Scientific evidence for warming of the climate system is unequivocal. The number of record high temperature events in the United States has been increasing, while the number of record low temperature events has been decreasing, since 1950. The U.S. has also witnessed increasing numbers of intense rainfall events.” https://science.nasa.gov/climate-change/evidence/
Floods from a portion of glacier breaking off, sending water and mud to wipe out people and towns? Total devastation and enormous loss of life. Earlier no one in my generation would have thought this was even possible as a result of climate change. Yet, here we are.
Water from tremendous thunderstorms inundating portions of America. Cars, homes, towns underwater. Wind and storms continue with hurricane season arriving earlier each year.
Prayer certainly helps as people face the loss of everything they own. Some even suffer the loss of loved ones.
As I watch a goldfinch hang upside down on a “volunteer” sunflower in our flower bed, I am reminded that we are given the responsibility to be keepers of the earth. For the most part we have done a lousy job through our greed and overall disregard as to the effects our consumerism has on the planet. Lord God Almighty, forgive us and help us mend our ways I pray.
Look at shells on sidewalk. Then focus above the shells to see the bright yellow bird! (I could not capture the image of the bird upside down.)
This report in the L A Times says: In the Rocky Mountains, years of extreme heat and drought have baked the landscape, drying up streams that feed the Colorado River and desiccating pastures where cattle graze.
The unrelenting dryness has brought hardship upon cattle ranchers, who say their livelihoods increasingly are under threat.
As the U.S. Supreme Court considers a case in which major oil companies are being sued for the effects of global warming, a group of Colorado ranchers is voicing support for the the idea that the fossil fuel industry should be held to account.
The ranchers depend on snowmelt that feeds the Colorado River and its tributaries to nourish grasses and hay pastures for their herds. But this year the Rockies had the least snow on record, and they’ve watched springs dry up and creeks dwindle.
The lack of water has ravaged grasslands and left ranchers unable to grow enough hay, forcing them to buy feed for their cows at high prices.
It’s been so dry that Valdez no longer can get water in his irrigation system for his animals to drink. He has turned to buying water and hauling it with a tanker truck to fill troughs for the cows.
Floods, drought, storms,record high temperatures, wars and rumors of wars … Lord, deliver us and forgive us we pray. Help us to recognize our part in this massive destruction. Show us each how to amend our ways and live with an awareness of our responsibility for the calamity.
Book of Common Prayer Page 827, Prayer 41. For the Conservation of Natural Resources
Almighty God, in giving us dominion over things on earth, you made us fellow workers in your creation: Give us wisdom and reverence so to use the resources of nature, that no one may suffer from our abuse of them, and that generations yet to come may continue to praise you for your bounty; though Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
