My new project entails gathering the object lessons the Lord has given me over the years to encourage me and keep me walking the road laid out before me. I will likely post of few of these during the coming months. The following is entitled “Called At the Beach To Write More.”
How does an object lesson usually come to you? Mine can jump up any time I call upon the Lord for guidance. I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, so I shall be saved from my enemies. Psalm 18:3 NRSVUE
While walking the beach in Florida we were searching for shells. I came upon this one. It is called Sunray Venus Clam.
It reminds me of lined paper. (College ruled is my favorite).
Then I came upon this one.
Atlantic Pen Shell
That got me thinking about ink wells, and fountain pens. Oh my, this was a call to write more!
Then the Lord answered me and said: Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so that a runner may read it. Habakkuk 2:2 NRSVUE
Years ago a cousin older than me gave me the above verse to hold to. I was not certain she heard right. Time has shown she evidently heard exactly right for me!
The shells comprised another confirmation that I am to write and keep telling what God is doing in my life and can do in the lives of others. I keep these shells around to remind me, lest I ever doubt the call again. Or for the times I get just plain lazy about it. Lord, prod me with the shells and forgive me for being lazy, I pray.
Often the veil and the curtain are mentioned in the Scriptures. I have had this on the brain for a couple of weeks. The veil usually refers to the lack of understanding among the Hebrew population regarding the Messiah. The curtain is the fabric that was hung between the courts of the temple and the Holy of Holies where humans, (and only priests) were only to enter once a year, on the day of Atonement.
When Jesus was hung upon the cross, as he died the curtain was torn from top to bottom in the Holy of Holies. Thereby signifying the full access of man to the Father, bought by the blood of Jesus, our sacrifice.
This quote reminded me of that and the need for us to see the value and significance of ‘each other’s human plight.’
My wish, indeed my continuing passion, would be not to point the finger in judgment but to part a curtain, that invisible shadow that falls between people, the veil of indifference to each other’s presence, each other’s wonder, each other’s human plight.
EUDORA WELTY
Jesus parted the veil between people and the Father. Jesus also parts the curtain between us and other humans if we are willing to see with his eyes, the eyes of compassion.
Eudora reminds me that when I point the finger at others there are more fingers pointing back at me.
Searching for this image there were SO many images of our President pointing his finger at others. Sad. “That invisible shadow that falls between people, the veil of indifference to each other’s presence and plight.” I fear this has infected the entire nation at this point.
Lord, may we learn to fold our hands in prayer to you, not pointing at others. Open our eyes and our hearts to the needs of our fellow persons. Break our hearts for what breaks Yours. Help us realize the access for good that you have given us through the sacrifice of Jesus. Use us for the good of others. Amen.
I am trying to write this morning and the long awaited landscapers are here mowing. The huge riding mower is so loud it is drowning out sounds about the room. The windows are rattling and I wonder how I can write about the necessity of quiet when my very teeth are on edge.
And then I remember to breathe. This too shall pass. Each moment is like a bell curve. There is a beginning, a peak, and a subsequent lessening. Okay, now I hear them in the backyard, but that too will lessen as they move to the next yard and the next down the street.
Cannot even show you a photo of the man standing behind the mower as all the photos online are pristine mowers with absolutely NO grass cuttings upon them.
The point for me is how can I return to the quiet once the quiet is disrupted? Do you have a trick to do that?
I decided to step outside and try to photograph the first bachelor’s button of the season. They seeded themselves from last year and are now starting to bloom. (May 11) I might have practiced the method I wrote about in the following poem right then, but the mower was back to shear the verge so I came inside to check the photos and write the poem out for your perusal.
Page 5 in the new book Poems.
"This poem took me into the deeper silence of meditation. For me, the center down silence of being with God is a wonderful place to be. Thus, Down repeats in the poem.
Bachelor’s Buttons
Going inward with the deep blue of the bachelor’s buttons I sink down. I take the encompassing blue with me. Down. I drop my shoulders Down I breathe the blue petals. Knowing the blue from the petals will fade. Down. For now they wrap me in stillness. Down. Wash me in the blue brightness I pray. Down. Not Mrs. Stewart’s bluing agent. Down. But the true blue of fresh flower. Down. Peculiar petals. Down To where I am nestled inside the flower. Down. Beyond pollen gathering bees. Down. Sitting still in the Blues. I am restored.
Just contacted WordPress and learned a new skill! Hope you liked this layout 🙂
Typing it and editing the photos, I stop. And drop. And roll in the restoration.
Down. Help me to stay with You, Lord. “Continuously renewed Immediacy,” wrote Thomas R. Kelly in A Testament of Devotion.
As you read this I will have already undergone a routine colonoscopy. Yuck. Can any preparation be as gross as this one? I am a little preoccupied as I try to write this morning knowing what lies ahead for me.
The opening photo cracked me up with the scented candle in the shopping cart! Ha! As if that will be strong enough to remove the odor!!
Laxatives, ounces, upon pints, upon quarts of forced fluid intake.
The IV, the drugs. One time they gave me twilight sleep I was not quite out. That was NO FUN! Bob argued with me about my ability to be aware of what was happening. I should know what I am aware of or not. Geesh!
I know the test is preferable to not knowing and suffering the consequences of undiagnosed colon cancer. Here in Cincinnati we were recently shocked by the death of a popular TV news reporter.
“Not until last month did WKRC-TV staffers begin to wonder if something was wrong with health reporter Liz Bonis. They were stunned to learn that their “very private” colleague died Thursday, three years after being diagnosed with colon cancer. She was 58.
“A longtime Channel 12 employee told me that Bonis “told no one. We didn’t know there was an issue until the last couple of weeks when she didn’t look quite right.”
“The station, which announced her death at 7:11 p.m. Thursday, said she had five surgeries and participated in six experimental oncology drug trials since her diagnosis in April 2023. She died at home with family at her bedside, according to Channel 12’s story.
“Bonis continued to work through it all — anchoring the weekday noon news; hosting her Sunday morning one-hour What’s Happening In Health program; and doing health/medical reports for Channel 12, which aired nationwide on most of Sinclair’s 185 stations. (She’s listed as the “health and medical reporter” for Sinclair’s news team at Dayton’s WKEF-TV and WRGT-TV.)
“On her last day in the office — a week ago Friday, April 24 — she did three stories. And on Sunday and early Monday “she was texting people about possible national stories that could be done,” says Franco Gentile, WKRC-TV vice president and general manager.
“Bonis — a registered dietician, certified personal trainer and a Diabetes educator — “told no one she was sick. In the last months and especially the last few weeks we suspected and knew something was wrong but were never told anything,” another Channel 12 veteran told me. “We didn’t dare ask because she wouldn’t have admitted anything. I think what surprised most of us was how long she’d been fighting.”
So Liz, thank you for your inspiration to do a test I dread. You were quite a testament to what is possible. For the rest of us, please take care of your health and get the tests the doctors think are fitting for your age and continued health. No fun, but just do it!
It is not unusual when I complete a project to feel a release, a let down, perhaps a turning loose of the tension. When I was in retreat and folks around me were celebrating the publication of the book of poems, I was asking the Lord, “What next?”
Several times during the appointed times of prayer at the Convent we read Psalm 139. Verse 4 in the prayer book, which is verse 5 in most Bibles, struck me. The first time I just noted it. The second time I wrote it out. Now I have been doing some study through the Logos app regarding that verse.
The promises here are astounding. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Even though I do not feel your touch, your word assures me you lay your hand upon me. I am yours. I am never abandoned, never alone. You shall lead me and hold me fast.
Matthew Henry wrote: “Thou knowest me in every part of me: Thou hast beset me behind and before, so that, go which way I will, I am under thy eye and cannot possibly escape it. Thou hast laid thy hand upon me, and I cannot run away from thee.” Wherever we are we are under the eye and hand of God. Perhaps it is an allusion to the physician’s laying his hand upon his patient to feel how his pulse beats or what temper he is in. God knows us as we know not only what we see, but what we feel and have our hands upon. All his saints are in his hand which tenderly holds their aching head.
U wrote: In proportion as we are fully reconciled to God, and love Him, and rejoice in Him, it will become a cause of joy to reflect that our best Friend is never away from us, that our Protector’s hand is never removed, that the great observant eye of divine love is never closed.
He continues, “We may judge as to our position before God by this test—is the thought of His constant observation of us a subject of joy or of dread? If we dread it, surely we have the old spirit of bondage still upon us. But if we rejoice in it, then we may know that we have received the Spirit of adoption whereby we cry, “Abba, Father.” Spurgeon went on to take a military point of view with the idea of Beset me behind and before. My response was, “Really? Do we have to take that view?”
Nelson Study Bible said, “The purpose of His intimate knowledge of His servants is protective and helpful, not judgmental and condemning.”
Yes Lord, I believe this. You protect and help me. As I confess my sins you are faithful and just to forgive me my sins and cleanse me from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9) Therefore, I can rest in your encompassing care and closeness. You are my Abba, Father.
And the New Commentary on the Whole Bible by J D Douglas 1990 says,”laid thine hand upon me—This is the body language of blessing (Gen. 48:14, 17). This level of being known and accepted overwhelms the psalmist.”
For me there is nothing to fear in these verses, nothing to run from. Why would I not accept the hand of blessing from my God upon my head? We are known and loved. Do not be overwhelmed. Sit with your God and receive.
Have you ever noticed a Bible verse repeating over and over again in your life?
In our recent readings for the Second Sunday of Easter we read Psalm 16. Verse 11 is especially meaningful to me.
“You show me the path of life. In your presence there is fullness of joy; in your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Psalm 16:11 NRSVUE
When I skipped church as a young teenager and walked the paths in the park worshiping God, it seemed as if David’s experience was my experience, too.
In 1993 I attended a silent retreat. When Psalm 16 came up I felt led to take verse 8 with me and practice God’s presence as I walked the Convent grounds.
I keep the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Psalm 16:8 NRSVUE
The practice that day deepened my faith and my trust in this God who is always at my right hand. Isaiah 42: 6 verses a and b go along with this verse.
“I am the Lord, I have called you in righteousness, I have taken you by the hand and kept you…”
When I attended the Jewish funeral service for our dear “Aunt Cloty Gutman” in May, 2002 they read this Psalm. I was deeply touched as I remembered again that we both shared trust in this God whom David extolled.
The path of life, fullness of joy, pleasures forevermore … why would I seek after anything else?
I learned early in life that the God of Jesus is Who I wanted to seek. After dabbling in things of the world and even tasting the occult, I realized that only Jesus is eternal. Only God Almighty is going on forever. That is Who I want to follow. That is Who I want as my leader.
Protect me, God, for you are my refuge. 2 I said to Adonai, “You are my Lord; I have nothing good outside of you.” 3 The holy people in the land are the ones who are worthy of honor; all my pleasure is in them.
4 Those who run after another god multiply their sorrows; To such gods I will not offer drink offerings of blood or take their names on my lips.
5 Adonai, my assigned portion, my cup: you safeguard my share. 6 Pleasant places were measured out for me; I am content with my heritage.
7 I bless Adonai, my counselor; at night my inmost being instructs me. 8 I always set Adonai before me; with him at my right hand, I can never be moved; 9 so my heart is glad, my glory rejoices, and my body too rests in safety; 10 for you will not abandon me to Sh’ol, you will not let your faithful one see the Abyss. 11 You make me know the path of life; in your presence is unbounded joy, in your right hand eternal delight. The Complete Jewish Bible
Well that pain in my neck is not just from my unruly neighbors or a bad night of sleep. I have been learning what it means to live with cervical spondylosis and radiculopathy (compression or irritation of a spinal nerve). Seems more like ridiculousness than radiculopathy!
I decided to seek medical help when my neck began popping, sometimes 10 times in an hour. For several years I have had daily headaches the doc could not explain. Also recently some numbness in hands when I crochet or knit. I at times awake with 3 fingers on right hand totally numb. Often dizzy, ringing in my ears (tinnitus). Not certain if that is related or not?
Discomfort at night, difficult to get comfortable. At time, must throw off my wonderful foam pillow, take off the necklace and use the dog bone pillow. Sometimes the neck, shoulder and head pain wakes me up.
I used to sleep on my side. Can no longer do that due to pain.
Already taking Gabapentin. I take Tylenol all day and night. At first doc thought it might be reaction to Tylenol. Stopped all Tylenol, no relief. Using 1/2-1 muscle relaxer at night.
I have fibromyalgia and osteoarthritis. When TMJ flares I am a mess. And now this.
China gel – (menthol rub) can help, but only for a short time. I have joked I need to shower in it. Using an Ice pack when the pain is really bad.
Already had rotator repair in right shoulder twice, partial tears. I think that is torn again, but not eager to repeat surgery and neck is worse than shoulder though shoulder aches daily.
No cartilage in my right thumb joint. Degenerative disc disease in lower back. Is that what this is? How to treat it?
Well I saw the Physician Assistant and the x-ray showed cervical spondylosis and radiculopathy. She sent me to PT and gave me a steroid pack.
Messed up the very first day!
I began by not reading the tiny print and took all the first day tablets at once. What a doofus!
PT suggested a new pillow (through Amazon) and a cervical collar. I purchased both. The cervical collar is a deal you inflate and sit with for 10 minutes, twice a day.
I look thrilled, right?
One journal entry reads: The pain last night was frightening. After cooking for several hours my neck began to hurt. Actually I began to hurt all over. Then I got the traction collar thinking that would help. It felt good, but did not help the pain. By the time I got ready for bed I was almost in tears. China gel on neck. Towels upon new pillow to try to contain the menthol fragrance. There is something here I did not reckon upon. Can cooking for several hours, looking down at the counter, the skillet, the various pans, lifting the pressure cooker off the flour, the flour canister … do any/all of those actions make my neck worse?
The steroids hit me really hard. I will think long and hard before I take those again. Sleeplessness, drenching sweats in my sleep, yuck. Physician’s Assistant also said to stop the Diclofenac I take for arthritis pain as it can make steroid side effects worse. I was not thrilled, but I followed her advice. I did have fewer digestive issues this round of steroids.
The PT exercises are questionable. The therapist is certain my shoulder is okay as my strength there is good. Some exercises make me feel much worse. I wonder if the others are doing anything? I will persist and talk myself into doing them more. I am no where near the reps the therapist wants me to get to.
There was a saying “After 40 we patch, patch, patch.” I have added “After 70 we just crumble.” But I am alive. None of this is likely to kill me. I continue to cling to my prayer.
I am determined that this day,each time I am drawn up short by pain, I will praise You, for I love You better than life – even better than quality of life.
Lord, I cling to You!
Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. Isaiah 46:4 NIV
God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5c NIV
When we listen to people, our own language softens. Listening may be the cardinal act of giving. Paul Hawken
Our church offers personal prayer once a month at all three services. This fell into disuse recently when the leader had to step down and no one stepped up to take his place. I wanted to join the prayer ministry. It was made clear to me that in order to do that I would need to take up the leadership and thereby ask the Lord to resurrect this important ministry to our church.
I prayed and I did take it on. March was our first time to present ourselves again to the congregation as available for prayer. I had two people who were willing to become intercessors. Before the training occurred for them one stepped back down.
We had a great training session via Zoom with my old friend Hawley Todd. For decades he lead the Episcopal Healing Ministries. He had worked with St. Timothy’s before regarding this ministry and knew a few of the folks who are still participating. Hawley had trained me many years ago, too. The training was on a Monday night. Six out of eight intercessors were able to attend. On Saturday night I got a message that one man was going to have to step away as his health would not permit him to participate. This was a great disappointment to him.
April was our second time to offer personal prayer. Sunday was bit chaotic. One person had planned to be out-of-town to see Grandkids that week. The person she was usually paired with was suddenly called out of town for family needs. So I prayed during that service with a person who was already scheduled to fill in.
The next service the same two of us prayed while a newly trained member “shadowed” us. She finally joined in when the second person came asking for prayer. The third service was covered by the pair that usually pray together. In all we had six people come asking for prayer.
Whew! All that to say this ministry is about listening. Listening to the suffering of our fellow parishioners. Listening to the Lord as we are guided what to say. I agree with Paul Hawken, “Listening may be the cardinal act of giving.”
Hawley cautioned us not to carry the concerns out of the church with us. He suggested that we go wash our hands before we leave. Washing, as a way of releasing those cares. I admit, I was so wound up by the time I left the church, I forgot to wash my hands. I did though when I got home!
This morning while reading Henri Nouwen’s book about the desert fathers and mothers, The Way of The Heart, he quoted Diadochus as writing, “Ideas of value shun verbosity. Timely silence, then, is precious, for it is nothing less than the mother of the wisest thoughts.”
In this sort of prayer we aim to listen to people, to pray what they ask us to pray and leave the rest of God. We try not to get carried away with the sound of our own prayers. We trust God to read the heart of the person before us and help us to put their request into words. We try to present them with the ‘cardinal act of giving.’
This is not the usual way of loving your fellow church goers. We do not ask, “How are you?” and then think about our response while they are still speaking. This means setting aside our self and our will and serving an other with attention and prayer.
Yes, there are certain phrases I use when I pray, but the most important thing is what the person expresses as their deepest need or thanksgiving. I agree with Diadochus. Ideas of value DO shun verbosity. Simplify your prayers and you will see what I mean.
May all those who request prayer from you be blessed with brevity and the attendance of our Lord who promised that where two or more are gathered in His name, He would be there. Matthew 18:20
Dana and I read the proof copy. I listed edits that I found in the text. I changed the publication date so that we would have plenty of time to make said changes. She went to a Dulcimer convention out of town. One night, right before bed, I checked my email to be certain there was not something there concerning Prayer Team that I might need to tend to. I was shocked to see that Kindle had sent me a message that I only had a little over 24 hours to make changes.
After the dust settled I had to write it all down to decompress. The following is what I wrote. Seems funny now. At the time it was NOT funny. Bob said I should post this.
They say that having a book published is like giving birth. Tonight I felt as if the Kindle machine was starting Pitocin and the father was not present. It was too soon. The edits were not yet submitted. I panicked. (Where was my faith?)
I went from the iPad mini to the desktop to try to change the publication date again so that the edits could be made next week. Nothing was working right.
I finally hit the place where you talk with a bot. That was not real effective so I chose chat with live person.
Helan assured me I could change the date. Then I had to submit the change, keep approving until I got to pricing page and then hit Publish. I really froze up then. IT IS NOT READY. She basically said trust me. I did what she said. The Kindle Direct machine then said it would review my manuscript and that could take up to 72 hours. Until then the account would lock. I took screen shots of the texts. I wanted proof if this thing got printed without the final edits.
I realized there was nothing more I could do until Monday. Except I could pray. I left Grogu in my desk chair to watch over the book.
Physical therapist had pointed out that I need to smash down my new pillow closer to the thickness of my old worn out one. I got the new foam pillow out of the closet and literally knelt down on the floor on the pillow in prayer. This is God’s book, not mine. I prayed for the prayer teams who will be serving this Sunday. I prayed for forgiveness that I did not trust the Amazon tech more. I prayed for forgiveness that I do not trust my Father more. I prayed Dana has a great time at her dulcimer convention.
I got up from my knees and went to get a clean pillow case. I realized then I feel like an imposter. I understand imposter syndrome. Someone said to me this week, “You really are an author!” Not so certain about that but I am dizzy with anticipation and steroids and neck pops. Praying I actually get sleep tonight. Lord, Your lamb needs You.
The contractions have subsided now. The panic is receding. Hoping sleep is just around the corner. This woman is beat!
Guess I better tackle this imposter attitude before it makes trouble. “The original imposter syndrome study in the 1970s revolved around high-achieving women who had trouble attributing their own success to themselves”, one on-line source said. Perhaps I am guilty of that?
“Imposter syndrome is the voice inside your head telling you that you don’t belong, while discrimination is the voice of others telling you the same thing,” explains Dr. Albers. “The distinction is crucial because it highlights that imposter syndrome is a personal struggle that can be addressed through self-reflection and cognitive reframing whereas discrimination requires societal change and advocacy.” https://wockr.org/a-psychologist-explains-how-to-deal-with-imposter-syndrome/
So, this is just a bump in road at 10:45 PM after a long day and a chaotic week. Things are not awful and perhaps locking the account is good. No worries about it over the weekend.
I found the copyright information the next morning and updated the Proof Changes for Dana’s use. I sent it along to her. The new final date for changes came through email. I likely missed some errors, but that is done for now.
So my friends, the new book ought to be available to you on May 1, 2026 through Amazon. (I already found an error in the Table of Contents. Will be amazed if that is the ONLY error!) If you can’t find the title Poems, just type in my name. That ought to bring it up!
I have various stones and shells near my prayer chair. I often am drawn to them as I enter prayer. One shell is a called a shark eye or moon shell or various other names. Most common seems to be shark eye.
I was looking at the sections delineated on this shell by the ridges and colors. One morning that led me to wonder if all the shells go in the same clockwise direction?
Well there you have it. The shells have a direction. My prayer time can provide a direction that makes time not reverse as much as stop. A prayer can be outside of time as we know it.
I often use the image of the nautilus shell when I am trying to center down into the silence of God’s heart. You might remember the glass artwork I purchased.
For me I focus upon each section of the shell individually. Beginning at the outermost edge, I am aware and surrounded by all the noises, fragrances, sensations of the world around me…. all the distractions provided to me. As I choose to move to the next section, my surroundings grow smaller, fewer things to draw me from God. As each section (where the nautilus used to live) grows smaller, I try to draw closer to the Lord. Reaching for more of the essence that gives me life. Just as a monk throws a hood over his head I want to close out the world and be with my God.
The cowl (sometimes known as a capuche, especially for friars) is the hood worn by the Carmelite monks. The monk wears a monastic cowl that hangs over his upper back and is used to cover his head during the winter months. Although the cowl serves a practical purpose in keeping the monk’s shaven head warm, the cowl is more importantly a sign of mourning. The word “monk” is derived from Greek words meaning “one who mourns in solitude.” So what does a monk mourn? The Carmelite monks mourn for their own sins and the sins of others, begging for God’s mercy and justice. The cowl is a reminder of Christ’s Dolorous Passion on Calvary for sinners, a death that He would have endured had there been but one poor sinner.
The Holy Rule exhorts the Carmelite to “place the helmet of salvation on [his] head,” and this is what the Carmelite does every time he covers his head with the cowl. His head being covered in the brown wool and his face hidden unless you look directly at him, the monastic cowl also serves to hide the monk so that God alone might know his countenance. https://www.carmelitemonks.org/HolyHabit.php
When I emerge from the meditative prayer I bring with me a renewed sense of God’s presence even amidst the myriad distractions of the world.
I want to live from the inside out, always within the center-down silence. Having to struggle to get back is not the direction I choose.
Teach me, Lord, and help me know how to grow from the peaceful sanctuary within.
Show me please where to refresh our love. Give me attitudes that will unravel me from the sin which so easily entangles.
Make me one with You, Lord, so I will know how to be close to all that is around me.
Help me, Father, and be glorified in my life.
Whatever way you choose to pray and draw close to God, I hope it is with a sincere heart giving plenty of time for God to speak and for you to listen for that still, small, holy voice.
Next time you get to visit the beach I hope you find gems to bring home!
Treasures in Plain Sight, A Christian Blog 