Category: Faith

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Illness and Health, medical treatment, Poetry, Prayer, Surrender, Trust, Yield

Chronic

Chronic means: continuing or occurring again and again for a long time. Being, providing, or requiring long-term medical care. Always present or encountered, especially : constantly vexing, weakening, or troubling.

This pain will not go away. Yes, it waxes and wanes, but it is never going to leave me until I die. I get so tired of it all. Lately I have especially had great difficulty when trying to get to sleep at night.

Today I will not have any caffeine at all in the afternoon. I will set up sleep meditations in case I cannot drift off on my own.

There are times when no matter how I prepare or take care of myself the chronic pain disrupts my life, my goals, my rhythm of living. There has not been a medication found to treat this. There are a few that help with some of the symptoms, but nothing that covers the umbrella of distress. It is chronic and sometimes crushing. I tell Bob there are times I feel as if I have been ground into a powder.

Why am I putting this in the blog? Well, there are likely others out there struggling with this or a similar problem. Sometimes I can get away from the all consuming pain sensations by getting focused upon a challenge or a project such as writing. Even one hour of departure from the torture chamber can be good. Cooking for an hour while singing favorite praise music can help. Sadly not every hour of the day can be spent planning a project, performing a task or rejoicing over a task completed.

I keep hearing snippets of a poem from 1985. When I looked for it just now it was about relationship trouble, not necessarily physical struggle.

Eleven Fifty-three Post Meridiem ©Molly Lin Dutina


Nighttime and the Unresolved
Come marching to my bedroom
Tramping through my head
Hurling accusations
Quoting words once said
Reason takes a low profile
While logic flees the scene
Where is the solution
For circumstances now turned mean
Never, shoulds, and woulds
Paint dismal, hopeless scenes
Understanding vanishes
Deep each insult bleeds.
Forgiveness is the answer
That makes the war to cease.


Let it go. Let go. Release.
Present moment calls to me
Be NowHere in God’s sweet peace
A song can be resung
The past can’t be undone
But pouring in forgiveness
The fall-out is made numb


Come to here and now
Feast on today’s plenty
In gratitude for all
Dare to now drink deeply
From streams of joy and love
We are granted
Only to
“Live our lives by moments”
Aren’t we now
1985

Though “Come to the here and now, feast on today’s plenty, in gratitude for all” does help me cope. When I come to the here and now in a painful night I have to place my focus upon Jesus Christ who loves me better than I love myself. I offer my pain on behalf of another. (I am not quite certain how that works, but I make the offering regardless.) I remember to breathe in Jesus and breathe out me, or breathe out my pain. I try not to watch the clock. Rest, just rest. Sink into the center down silence of love and peace.

I am seriously a work in progress. There is no medication that can help me with this. With St. Patrick I try to “arise today through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity with belief in the threeness and confession of the oneness towards the Creator.” Help me Lord not to project fear or negativity on this day and whatever it might bring. Help me to lie down tonight in Your arms of love and rest in Your everlasting care.

I will try to remember to pray compline especially with the wonderful portion of Psalm 4

verse 8 I lie down in peace; at once I call asleep; for only you, LORD, make me dwell in safety.

Posted on in Challenge, Faith, Focus, Humor, Look, Praise, Prayer, Thanks

See the Holiness

I have been reading a book my 93 year old friend, Myrtle, loaned to me. It has tales about growing up in Corbin, Kentucky. Some of the things the author relates, I too, can remember from my childhood. These stories are contained within a cookbook that is no longer in print. When I read the quote below it made me think of this book.

Can you see the holiness in those things you take for granted – a paved road or a washing machine? If you concentrate on finding what is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul. RABBI HAROLD KUSHNER

“See holiness in the things you take for granted.” And oh my, how Americans take things for granted!

A paved road. Automatic washing machine in contrast to that scrub board or the later wringer washer, (Yes, we had a scrub board and a wringer washer. I can still smell those suds!). Rabbi Kushner says we should concentrate on finding what is good in every situation. One recent lecturer said, “Focus on what goes RIGHT instead of what goes wrong.”

“Gratitude can sneak up on me and drive me to my knees with awe, mystery and love.” -Thayer

Can you spend ten minutes in wonder? Are you willing to humble yourself and find things that can “drive you to your knees with awe, mystery and love”?

That brilliant blue sky beyond the curling oak leaves. This computer that helps me get the thoughts of my heart into words and out to all of you. Electric tumble dryer making short work of those wet clothes. The eye drops that help damp down the itching in these autumn eyes. The huge collection of quotes, photos, drawings that I can tap for this blog. The Tylenol I forgot to take earlier – ‘cuse me while I go get some.

That only took me a few moments. The mail truck just zoomed past the window .. delivery to each of us from all over. It has been said that if we look for things to be grateful for we will find more and more things to be grateful for. I hope this will help you to LOOK for the things that go right today and find ‘holiness in the things you take for granted.’

Posted on in Faith, Music, Challenge, Trust, Obedience, Rest

First Heard During A Retreat

Quiet my soul in your silent presence
Gentle my soul in your stillness and peace
Tender my soul in your beauty and grace 
God of this moment 
Here in this place 

Quiet my soul
Gentle my soul
Tender my soul
God this moment
Here in this place

Recently this song was set to play on repeat on my speaker. I tend to panic and get fearful when health matters arise and I know there might be a potentially bad outcome.

The retreat when I learned this song was years ago. There is still a power in this song to center and bring me to stillness.

Psalm 131 has been a great help to me over the years. This is taken from Psalms in Inclusive Language, Joseph J. Arackal, Translator.

O Yahweh, my  heart is not arrogant
nor are my eyes raised too high.
I have taken no part in great affairs,
nor in wonders beyond my grasp.

I have kept my whole being quiet and silent,
like a infant at its mother's breast;
like an infant quieted is my whole being.

Let Israel hope in Yahweh
henceforth for all eternity.

The New Living Translation offers this:

Lord, my heart is not proud;
    my eyes are not haughty.
I don’t concern myself with matters too great
    or too awesome for me to grasp.
2 Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself,
    like a weaned child who no longer cries for its mother’s milk.
    Yes, like a weaned child is my soul within me.

3 O Israel, put your hope in the Lord—
    now and always.

I have always said that if we occupy ourselves with what the Bible says to do regarding our own personal behaviors we need not worry about the “Thou shalt nots.”

Here is my favorite rendition of Psalm 131. I love that John Michael specifically says we are to be like a child at rest on its Mother’s knee and then like a child at rest on its Daddy’s knee. Yes. God is both mother and father to us!

May these versions of Psalm 131 and these songs bring you to a place of peace and trust.

Posted on in Challenge, Faith, Memories, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth

Join In

Lectio 360 “Today is Friday the 25th of September, and this week we are praying through a collection of the great prayers of the Old Testament – exploring motifs of honesty and hope, remembrance and thanksgiving, desperation and celebration, joining our…
… voices with priests, poets, prophets and saints who learned to pray to God openly and unafraid.”


Do we pray openly and unafraid? This was something the people of the Bible learned. Have you? Can you speak to the heavenly Father without editing your words and feelings? God can handle whatever it is you are dealing with.

When I was 9 months pregnant and I found my mother dead on our sofa bed I had plenty to say to God. I did not actually formulate those feelings into words until some months after our daughter was born. I had to learn that God was not afraid of my strong feelings.

There were so many platitudes spoken to my pregnant self at Mom’s funeral. It was very difficult to sort out truth from fiction. It was truly not until I came across the verse in Ezekiel 18: 32a NIV that I began to understand. For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Sovereign Lord.

The relentless torment of the enemy of my soul asking, “How can you be a mother without a mother?” kept me unsettled and seeking the Lord. I finally cried out about 10 months after her death as I agonized in my grief, shouting from the depths of my soul to the Lord of heaven and earth, “You PROMISED that You would comfort those who mourn. (Matthew 5:4) Where are you?” doubled over I cried until there were no more tears. Then the Lord came to me with the comfort that only the God of all Comfort could offer. (2 Corinthians 1:3) Thus my long journey with the Savior of my soul was reignited.

I learned God could handle my anger and grief. I discovered that the comfort from heaven is real. Thus I began to learn to pray open and unafraid about anything and everything.

How have you learned to pray to God, open and unafraid? Do you feel as if you can go to God with all of your circumstances and reactions and stumbling blocks?

If not, what might be keeping you from going?

We can learn to trust the one who loves us the best and the most. “The Almighty HAS done great things for us and holy is His name.” (Adapted from Luke 1:49) Try expressing yourself with authenticity and transparency to God. You might very well be surprised at the welcome and acceptance you will receive, not to mention comfort and guidance.

Well, I could go on and on but I would rather you have the experience for yourself. Keep on seeking, keep on asking, keep on knocking. (Matthew 7:7 NLT) Discover the joy of coming to know God’s heart towards you.

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Challenge, Faith, Just do it, Listen, Music, Obedience, Praise, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth

All Are Welcome

We are made to tell the world that there are no outsiders.

ARCHBISHOP DESMOND TUTU

During the communion prayers we sometimes pray, “Jesus taught us that the liberation of the whole world will not be in the brutality of violence. Rather, it will be in showing kindness to our neighbor, in standing up against injustice, in returning hate with love, in transforming one heart at a time. It will be in the simple but holy task of dining together, sharing bread and wine, truly seeing one another as beloved by you.”

One of our favorite lines in the Communion service is when the priest declares. “This is God’s table, not ours. All are welcome.”

Oh Father, we have such a long way to go to bring you delight. Purify our hearts we pray that we might not sin against you. Open our eyes to see our fellow humans as made in your likeness. Help us to esteem others as better than ourselves. (Philippians 2:3)

We have also been learning a song by Michael Stillwater that goes, “One by one everyone comes to remember, we’re healing the world one heart at a time.”

This is a German speaking group. We also sing it in rounds at church. I found myself singing it one day last week and had to stop to remember where I had heard it!!

May your eyes be opened and your heart know that there are no outsiders. Just humans walking each other home.

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Faith, Focus, Humor, Joy, Marriage and Memories, Music, Praise, Prayer, Thanks, Trust, Yield

Morning of Our 56th

Awoke singing this in my heart:

I could have danced all night
I could have danced all night
And still have begged for more

I could have spread my wings
And done a thousand things
I've never done before

I'll never know what made it so exciting
Why all at once my heart took flight
I only know when he began to dance with me
I could have danced, danced, danced all night

Yes, after 56 years I am more than willing to dance with Robert Milan. We have FUN together. Sometimes he carries his teasing and jokes too far for my emotion at a given moment, but overall, we have fun.

We create humor and jokes between ourselves. We are friends, yes, even best friends. There are times he gets on my last nerve and I get on his, but we each get over that and move on.

On this date in Edges of His Ways Amy wrote:

It is the little things of life, the minute, unimportant-looking things, that are most likely to shatter our peace, because they are so small that we are very likely to fight them ourselves instead of looking up at once to our Strong God, our Barrier between us and them. “Close the gate, or bar up the way, as the cloudy pillar formed a barricade between the Egyptians and Israel” is Kay’s note.

The deaths of Ginny and Chuck Lynch have taught us how short life is, how unexpectedly death can come and now is the time to love and laugh, to cherish and sing.

When I saw Bob Dutina for the first time, at a distance, it really was love at first sight. I have never understood exactly how our lives came to be together; however, I am grateful and blessed to have been given the gift of this incredible marriage.. Thanks be to God!

Psalm 90:12. So teach us to number our days that we may apply our hearts to wisdom.

Posted on in Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Focus, Praise, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth

Expanded Examination of Gratitude posted Again

I posted this with wrong date. Then it did not seem to post this morning. So here is another attempt!!

I write about this many times because I am still learning the importance of gratitude. I studied the book by Ann Voskamp entitled One Thousand Gifts and did the work of finding a thousand things to be grateful for. Mind you, there were to be no repeats from day to day. Her goal was for us to “Find Everyday Graces.”

There have been many research projects proving the benefits of doing this practice.

Recently while listening on Insight Timer the meditation instructor mentioned write 3 gratitudes, large or small. Yes, I know about those. Then he went further and said, “#2. Explain why you are grateful and how they improve your life.”

Yes, I have likely thought that while recording the gratitude, but never wrote out the reasons why. Research shows that if we will write things out, especially with pen or pencil, they make a greater impact upon us.

Then he went on to, “#3: Notice how focus upon gratitude shifts awareness from unfairness towards appreciation.”

Oh boy! Don’t most of us love to harp on things we perceive as unfair!?!

So while writing this blog I stopped to perform the three steps the teacher proposed for expanding gratitude. Yes, I literally stopped typing and wrote out with a pen the answers to his expanded examination of gratitude. It actually takes less time than one might think it would! And I do find myself more at peace and delighted with the three gratitudes.

If I type my responses out for you, I am not at all certain they will retain your attention. The benefits however are not to be discounted.

Word Press says that so far this blog post only requires a one minute or so reading. So here goes. I have often blogged about crocheting, cooking and gardening. They are my three topics.

1. I am able to crochet again

2. I enjoy cooking

3. Nasturtium blessings

Okay there are three but they are not explained at all.

#2. Why grateful? How it improves you life.

I am grateful I can create with yarn, be it a coaster, hat or blanket. Crochet improves my life with gifts to give, plus the joy of sharing patterns and the craft with Dana, Bonnie, Phyllis, etc.

Cooking is a creative outlet for me, but I am glad we can eat out when we want so I don’t have to cook dinner daily. Cooking improves my life because I use better ingredients and less salt than restaurants. It is also fun to share what I cook with others.

I am grateful for nasturtiums because so long as I pick them they bloom on and on. No matter how many I pick they bloom right into the frost season. They also remind me of our first year of marriage.

Nasturtiums improve my life because through them I can bring sunshine into the house with different shades of yellow and orange. I also get to share a bouquet with others. 🙂

Our nasturtiums with one rose

Gratitude shifts from unfair to appreciative.

After 55 years of the craft to have to stop crochet was sad, but the steroid injection in my thumb joint, then giving it time to heal, learning a new way to hold my hook differently and being content to crochet less all flowed from the change in ability. Perhaps this old dog has actually learned a new trick?!?

I have gratitude that I could in recent years offer meals to Pete (RIP) and Chuck and Ginny (RIP). The gratitude helps relieve the grief of their passing. Soon Kathy will move back to Florida for six or seven months, (that too is grief for me). I suppose I might share her portions with Jennifer, Judi and Micky, or Jerry and Diane?

The summer was blistering and miserable. I got nasturtium seeds in the ground before surgery. Then I had to get family, friends and neighbors to pick the flowers so they would not go to seed. I was often frustrated that I could not just go do it myself. (In fact, it was one of the first things I actually did outdoors once I could bear weight on the boot.) I have a better appreciation now for these sturdy little annuals and the friends who helped me in my garden when I was unable.

There. That is expansion on the three simple gratitudes. It did not take much time to write it out long hand. Studies show that is more impactful on our brains than typing, though I mostly type my journal now because of arthritis in my hands.

I hope this blog will inspire you to try this exercise. At least once a week? Look at your life, find three things to be grateful for, and then answers the questions.

#1. Write 3 gratitudes, large or small. #2. Explain why you are grateful and how they improve your life. #3. Notice how focus upon gratitude shifts awareness from unfairness towards appreciation.

Ann Voskamp wrote, “And I ride the undulating wave of grace, this lifting higher and higher in grace, the surging crest of joy, and this plunging lower and lower in humble thankfulness only to rise yet higher in grace.” Page 108 One Thousand Gifts Devotional

These ideas are taken from Lesson 4: Life is Unfair https://insighttimer.com/meditation-courses/adopt-the-navy-seal-mindset-empowering-you-to-be-resilient-when-stressed

Thank you for sticking with me for 5 minutes. I hope the ideas help you expand your gratitude list!

Posted on in Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Listen, Memories, Obedience, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Trust, Yield

Henri Nouwen

Lectio 365 wrote this quote from Nouwen on his feast day:

The love that often leaves us doubtful, frustrated, angry, and resentful is the second love, that is to say, the affirmation, affection, sympathy, encouragement, and support we receive from our parents, teachers, spouses, and friends. We all know how limited, broken, and very fragile that love is… The radical good news is that the second love is only a broken reflection of the first love and that the first love is offered to us by a God in whom there are no shadows… The knowledge of Jesus’ heart is a knowledge of the heart. And when we live in the world with that knowledge, we cannot do other than bring healing, reconciliation, new life, and hope wherever we go.
https://lectio365.24-7prayer.com/share/devotionals/2026-09-21/morning?locale=en

It has at times been difficult to offer the love God gives us to those around us. We knew for more than six months that both Chuck and Ginny had fatal diseases. We made an effort to take them meals, visit them when hospitalized, send texts, cut flower arrangements, anything we could think of to cheer them. It was not always easy to extend our hands and hearts to them, but we felt the Lord was asking us to do it. So we did, even when our own hearts were reluctant.

Now Chuck is dead. Ginny is dead. Our local restaurant keeps this sticker on the counter for anyone who wishes to take it home. It has been on our kitchen counter for many months urging us into obedience to God. John Wesley is reported as having said,

“Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can.”

Our time for doing good for Chuck and Ginny is over. He sent us a basket of African violets and philodendron vines just before he died. He had no idea that Bob had recently told me he would like to have another African violet! It is such a gift of love. The card on the flowers reads:
“Thank you guys for your compassion, prayers, and most of all for your love. We love you, Chuck and Ginny” I see the flowers and miss them both.

The house across the street where they lived is empty now. The sons have all gone home to prepare for another funeral or celebration of life, this time for Chuck. I keep getting startled when I realize there is no one there.

Icon of Henri Nouwen by Kelly Lattimore

I hope our efforts reflected what Henri Nouwen wrote. This is not to brag to you, but to show that we never really know what the outcome of our loving, our extending the hands of Jesus to another … we never quite know what the impact will be upon the other person. All we can do is try to follow the example Jesus gives us and obey the promptings of the Holy Spirit. May the God and Father of us all be pleased. (Ephesians 4:6)

Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. 16 If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? 17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. James 2:15-17 NIV

Posted on in Aging, Faith, Family, Humor, Marriage and Memories, Memories, Praise, Thanks

Our Anniversary!

We are delighted to announce our marriage continues! Thanks be to God and His mercies! Someone was said to be making bets at the time of our wedding that our marriage would not last. I think we can put that rumor in the grave now.

Bury it here

Celebration? We will have a quiet dinner at a local restaurant called Trios (even though they do not have Crème brûlée). Perhaps we can find that in a couple weeks for Bob’s birthday? Addendum: They had a delicious Creme brûlée!

We will not actually celebrate on the date as our Granddaughter is having an engagement party on that date and it is her birth date!

So as we move forward I hope to be writing about

our life together, fifty-six years after that whirlwind courtship and wedding.

After the vows in 1970

Praise the Lord!
Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good;
For His mercy is everlasting.
— Psalm 106:1 (NASB)