Many years ago I would occasionally hear a praise song in my mind. A melody, a set of words, and the next thing I knew I would be singing to the Lord.
I have never done anything with those praises except to write them down. This past year I made a new friend who wanted to put one on staff paper. She did it! And I am amazed.
We decided to pursue the rest of the songs. We have a priest who teaches us simple songs of faith. She is interested in these also, so that was a good impetus towards getting them to a state where they are ready to share.
So here is one melody. I recorded it while picking it out on a different friend’s electric keyboard that she loaned to me. My musical friend said she will likely put them in a key that is more singable.
LYRICS: The Great I Am I know the great I AM The great I AM knows me I am content in this I know the great I AM
It took me a bit to learn how to record the melody. Then how to upload it to the blog. Below is the music for you if you are interested in pursuing this further.
The Lectio app continues to challenge and inspire me. I noted the following idea from Lectio just as Lent began.
Today’s passage makes a startling prediction: that God’s blessings may come to me not instead of this wilderness, not in spite of this wilderness, but actually within it. The very situation I am currently tempted to resent may become the theatre of God’s greatest grace in my life. And so I must ask myself a difficult question (and I don’t ask it lightly): “Is it possible that God has actually called me into this dry, difficult or disappointing place? What if I were to make peace with it instead of fighting it?”
I read a book many years ago that helped save my sanity. The author is Tara Brach and the title is Radical Acceptance. She puts forth the idea that we can reduce our suffering by accepting things as they are instead of wishing for things to be some other way. Accepting. AA teaches about Acceptance, too.
Radical acceptance is described as begin aware of what is happening within our body and mind in any given moment, without trying to control or judge or pull away. “This is an inner process of accepting our actual, present-moment experience.” She describes it as having two parts – seeing clearly and holding our experience with compassion.
I have read this book at least twice all the way through and might need to do it again! The hand doctor showed us an x-ray of my hand. The thumb joint is bone-on-bone, no cartilage there at all. Thus, the pain. I plumb wore it out. He gave me a cortisone injection and said that might help with the inflammation, and often does. He issued a new brace for that joint. If none of this improves the condition the prognosis would be joint replacement. Third most common joint to be replaced after knees and hips.
Brace with thicker sock cushion
NOT what I had hoped to hear. Yet I am not totally surprised. In the past I could knock down the pain with rest, rubs, etc. Since December it has not responded to those things.
Could it be, “Is it possible that God has actually called me into this dry, difficult or disappointing place? What if I were to make peace with it instead of fighting it?” I did not foresee Lent as asking me to give up crocheting. That might not be the case, but it is a serious possibility.
AA says: “Acceptance doesn’t mean giving in or giving up. It means giving yourself completely to God’s plan for your life, trusting that He always wants what’s best for you, and will help you meet every challenge with courage.” Lent fasting, giving up things, relinquishing habitual practices to draw ourselves closer to the heart of God.
Here is one description of the process of a deep surrender. Jessica Graham said, “So give up, give in, swim out until you can’t see land and then drop down deep to where there is nothing you’ve ever known.” This is the process of deep surrender.
Tara Brach wrote, “We too can pause and make ourselves available to whatever life is offering us in each moment. In this way, as the Vietnamese Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh puts it, we “keep our appointment with life.”
Jesus says when we are fasting this is what we should do.
16 And whenever you fast, do not look somber, like the hypocrites, for they mark their faces to show others that they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. 17 But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, 18 so that your fasting may be seen not by others but by your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees in secret will reward you. Matthew 6:16-18
So if you me see with or without the lovely brace, if you see me at a meeting not crocheting, know that this is my fast, seeking insight and wisdom from my God. Is there healing to be had here? Is there a joint replacement in my future? Pray I can trust and wait and come to know the will of Father for the future of all this yarn and these hooks and threads.
God knows and I am a child of the Kingdom. Hmm t-rus-t. Rus?
Once I heard a sermon by a priest who said, “Control is an illusion.” I argued with him all the way home! Guess what? He was right. None of us knows what a day or even an hour may hold.
I made an appointment with a hand surgeon to look at my right hand. I have pain that is fairly constant. I have tried wearing a brace, using Diclofenac cream, menthol rubs, Tylenol, etc. I have been one who has enjoyed crocheting for over 55 years. I also like to cross stitch and am learning to knit (albeit not very well, yet!) I type this blog and also now type my journal since “Uncle Arthur” (nasty osteoarthritis) has taken up residence in my hands among other places.
I was relieved the doctor could get me in this Monday but then it hit me I might not be able to write the blog entries! So here I am on a Sunday afternoon, rearranging my Sabbath practice to write the blog.
If I get a cortisone injection in the base of my thumb it is unlikely I will be able to type tomorrow as is my habit. Besides, the appointment time will take up most of my morning. This is the man who found the distress in my daughter’s hand was a mysterious bone chip that was not missing from any other bone in her wrist. He surgically removed it and she has full function without all the pain. So I have decided to trust him since he did so well with my first baby.
The larger question is will I trust the Lord regardless of what happens at this appointment or into the future? I love to crochet. I get great satisfaction creating things from yarn and string. I give most of those items away. I have been helping my grandson learn to create this way, too! One grandgirl taught herself to crochet watching YouTube videos. Go figure! I gave lessons for many years and continue to share the craft in a weekly meeting at the Senior Center and monthly with Convent Associates.
Am I willing to give even crochet to the Lord? If I am asked to not do crochet I will obey. It might be a gradual ceasing from the activity, but I will if I must. Only if I must.
Psalm 32: 8-9 The donkey I met in Ireland
I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. 9 Do not be like a horse or a mule, without understanding, whose temper must be curbed with bit and bridle, else it will not stay near you. Psalm 32: 8-9 NRSVUE
Hmm trust, t (see a cross) r us t (see a cross). R us trusting, even if it means the cross punctuating our life before and behind us? Another sermon emphasized that Jesus did everything right and he earned a cross. (Of course, for the joy set before him he endured the cross, despising the shame, and bought us by his blood). Hebrews 12
As things change for you, will you dig in your heels like a mule or follow instructions and accept holy counsel?
Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. Howard Thurman
This one made me think. Twice. Howard Thurman went to his rest in the Lord in 1981. He was “a nationally recognized theologian, distinguished religious leader, and prolific author of over twenty published books. His book Jesus and the Disinherited was considered his most indispensable work.” I read his Disinherited and was moved. He wrote, “It is a man’s reaction to things that determines their ability to exercise power over him.” So reminds me of Viktor Frankl.
There are a few things that make me come alive. Some have been sitting in a file folder for decades. When I was diagnosed with the heart aneurysm I got scared but I also got busy. There was poetry the world had never seen that I wanted to release to others. There was the urge to publish a book with some of these blog posts. The aneurysm is still there, but I have decided to let it be there. Was likely there for decades without my knowledge.
Now that a new year has begun, I am aware I will not live forever, with or without the aneurysm. My husband has a pacemaker and reminds me how many years are left on his battery. He assures me he has no intention to get the battery replaced when it stops working. That sort of knowledge keeps me on my toes. If and when he dies, (he thinks it will be before me), I am certain I will be knocked down for a couple months at least if not longer. Therefore, if I intend to get some of these things done, I better get them accomplished before that battery expires!
Last year a friend offered to take one of the praise choruses I heard and wrote down years ago and work with it. She put it on staff paper so people might have it to play and enjoy. Indeed, she did just that! This year I asked if she would be willing to take on the other 4 or 5. She again said yes! This afternoon I am going to her house to work on the timing on one of them. I hope to be able to post them on this blog for you to enjoy at home or in your local church. Truly an amazing and skill musical talent she possesses!
Dana and I are working at preparing my poetry for publication through Amazon Direct Publishing. This will include some of the newer works. I have a new appreciation for what an editor does. I have read every single one of my poems and found many errors that we printed previously. Yikes. There will be a few new photos in the new book, two by my musician friend mentioned above.
Stephen Ministry has been calling to me and I was commissioned last Sunday at church. I will eventually be assigned a care receiver to meet with. That person will need me about an hour a week. I will also be praying for that person and receiving supervision during their care. It is a ministry I feel compelled to give myself to. I, too, benefited from it when I recently felt overwhelmed.
The prayer team at church need leadership. That has been a call upon my life for decades. I did not say no. Please pray for me to hear just what the Lord desires as I try to arrange a meeting with them and provide leadership that will feed and encourage them.
What makes YOU come alive? Would you be willing to take that aliveness and let the world use it? None of us knows when the Lord will call us home. Please do not leave things left undone that you might be able to accomplish now, this month, this year!
Defined as: a person whose personality is characterized by introversion: a typically reserved or quiet person who tends to be introspective and enjoys spending time alone.
So stand me up in front of the congregation, say a prayer over me, applaud .. NOT my cup of tea. Yet to be commissioned as a Stephen Minister I had to do just that. Our three priests and leader of Stephen Ministry and two other Stephen Ministers prayed over me as I knelt. Then there was a reception with cake and congratulations and it was all just difficult for me. The only easy thing was agreeing to serve the Lord through Stephen Ministry.
Pastor Roger is short so you can’t see him here. You can see the soles of my shoes!
Bob and I used to serve on a marriage ministry weekend and our friend Dan always told the people that God chose four introverts to speak to them. The word does say
But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; 28 God chose what is low and despised in the world, things that are not, to abolish things that are, 29 so that no one might boast in the presence of God.1 Corinthians 127-29
The only thing I boasted about was thanking the Lord for getting me through it! We do serve an amazing God. This God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above ALL that we can ask or imagine. Ephesians 3:20 Verse 21 says to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
A friend gave me a devotional book for Christmas entitled Amazing Grace. It has a devotion for morning and evening. I am grateful she purchased it for me. I would not have been likely to do it as I own many devotional books. This one has been great! When I read the offering for the morning of February 16 I was deeply blessed. The author mentions being able to receive a sincere compliment.
“This is tricky for many of us, as we tread that fine line we’ve walked since little girls, the one between graciousness and fear of appearing vain.
“One of the many wonderful things about life in Christ is that we can cast this worry aside. Once we grasp that every good thing about us is a gift from him, we are free to appreciate being appreciated. Not only that, we also get to call attention to the awesome work he does through our weak places. Consider responding like this: “Thank you! Let me tell you, that was all God. My human side wanted to run for the hills. I can’t believe the courage he gave me to hang in there.”
I almost hollered AMEN! as I read this during breakfast. (I was afraid I would I make Bob choke on his toast!) I just knew I had to post it to you!
So try to remember this quote next time someone compliments you upon your work with God, for God. He alone is most worthy of all glory and praise, thanksgiving and honor! Revelation 7:12
Recently our friend, Dan Cooksey posted this on his Monday funnies referring to Lucky.
Bob and I were sharing our joy over the photo. He began to wonder what if it said “Get a cat, they said, it will be fun they said.” What would happen if we had adopted a cat while Lucky was still living here. I reminded him that she has been known to curl up and sleep with a cat when other folks have housed her for us. He did not remember that.
With this being the traditional Valentine’s Day I thought I woudl share this with you.
The card sends this video with the melody of “Let Me Call You Sweetheart” playing during the unfolding images. The final drawing reminded me of our conversation. If you click the link above you can watch and listen to the greeting.
Let me just take this moment to thank you, all of you, who read this blog. Occasionally someone will comment on the material and that just blesses me no end. I keep writing and posting hoping that something I send will help you along in your journey, perhaps boost your intention regarding how you live and worship.
Saint Valentine is said to have ministered to the faithful amidst persecution in the Roman Empire. In that case I raise awareness today to the many people who are speaking out against injustice and persecution amid this supposedly free country. May we move past paper hearts and commercial celebration of love in to real love for one another. May we pray for those who are blinded by darkness and who try to dim the Light of Christ, the Light of the world, in the United Sates of America, North and South America and around the world. May the powerful love of Christ reign and overwhelm the darkness. May even those who are blinded by the dark side be made aware of how much God loves them and wants them with the Trinity. May verbal and electronic persecution by our leaders end. God bring peace on earth we pray.
For a week or perhaps 10 days, I got all complicated about my disciplines. We were having new flooring installed in the sitting/sewing room and in order to do that we basically dismantled the room. There was yarn and all manner of sewing things moved into the office. Writing in that space became more difficult as I could barely move my chair. Somehow that overflowed into my morning disciplines. Suffice it to say I lost my focus. It was easy to heap recriminations upon myself. But not productive!
The flooring is now installed. The contents of the room have been replaced and in their original order, sort of. I will have straightening to do for many hours in the future. When we moved the yarn holders (think cloth shoe pouches that hang from the closet pole) yarn and crochet thread went all over the place.
This morning, when I sat down in my prayer chair, I realized I’d left my tablet some place. Remembered I had used my iPad in the living room. I went to retrieve it and there was no charge left. Even the attached keyboard failed to have any power. So my approach to prayer centering was greatly disrupted. That was not all bad.
Looking for a way to firmly connect with the Spirit of God, I remembered all the times I did that without any electronic devices. Just me, the Book of Common Prayer, my Bible, perhaps a dictionary and a desire to know, and be known by my God. This was a masterful reset. I know I stepped away from my disciplines, not deliberately but a little shift here, a little shift there, a little anxiety here about Bob and the dog walking in icy weather, distraction by A B and C, and next thing I knew I was walking an unproductive path.
The meditation I listened to via my smart phone spoke about finding some breathing room. And that is what I have done this morning. I have some breathing room and a path forward to better union with the Trinity.
So hopefully, now I have regained some perspective. I once again have a renewed awareness of how easy it is to abandon the way of life that is so very good for me. I found myself stumbling about with the way of self in the world. It was not fulfilling. Just frustrating and like sawdust to my soul and spirit.
Father, thank you for showing me myself clearly. Help me above all else to hunger for and maintain my connection to you. You are the source of life. You are living water to me. Keep me and direct my ways to the glory of your name. Amen.
The Rule of Saint Benedict says, “Always, we begin again.”
I am still delighting in her devotional The Edges of His ways.
Luke 4:30: Jesus passing through the midst of them went His way
Our new month will bring us joys, for the Lord of joy is with us; it will also bring us sorrows, for sorrows are part of life. It may bring things which would “throw us down” if they could. But they need not ever do that, for it is possible for us to do just what our Master did when, passing through the midst of them, He went His way. As, by His grace, we go on in quietness, we shall find those words we know so well come true: “My Presence shall go with thee, and I will give thee rest.” Exodus 33:14
His Presence is always with us. He gives us rest. We need to stay in quietness and that is a serious challenge in this increasingly raucous world! Stay in quietness, trust, participate in His Presence, go on your way.
A new challenge for February. We will, with God’s help.
At times I read devotional thoughts from both of the above authors. The first listed below in purple print is from Joan Chittister.
“Seek God, not where God lives,” write the Desert Monastics.
The search for God comes one day to the point where we know without a doubt that we are immersed in God. Bringing ourselves to finally recognize that is the essential task of life.
There is no such thing as “getting” God. The fact is that we already have God. God is not somewhere else. God is everywhere. God is here. With me. In me. Now. It is the awareness of that presence which life intends to teach us to cultivate.
Richard Rohr’s website Center for Action and Contemplation posted “What Do We Do with the Bible? Many Voices; One Text”
Carl McColman wrote “A mystical reading of the Bible sees it as a conversation with many voices chiming in. When we read the Bible to connect with those compassionate and just voices, it is not only the Bible that is saved, but we ourselves also become more whole.
“A mystical reading of Scripture can be a way for you to reconnect with the uncreated light that shines at the heart of those ancient words of wisdom and love.” Carl McColman, Read the Bible Like a Mystic: Contemplative Wisdom and the Word(Broadleaf Books, 2025)
I have been trying to read the New Testament with the ideas put forth in Practicing the Way by John Mark Comer. I have finished Mark and Matthew. To me this method is similar to mystical reading. Not trying to look up cross reference and words meanings as in Bible study, but absorb the Word, let it soak into me and do its work on God’s behalf. As Joan Chittister wrote, keep me aware Lord of that presence which life intends for me to cultivate.
Oh Lord, yes, make me more whole. Reconnect me with your uncreated light! Strengthen my awareness and open my eyes and ears to Your closeness, in me and with me. Amen.
Treasures in Plain Sight, A Christian Blog 