Autumn

The first definitive rain and cold front moved through here the other day. Up at the flower shop the wind even threw on its side a potted tree. The many oak leaves that had littered the yard are gone – poof! – taken off to other places. The maples are starting to change, but have not yet blessed us with yellow showers. That will begin momentarily.

Writing about October author Joyce Rupp in her book “May I Have This Dance” says, “Although autumn might seem to be a harsh reminder of death, we can also be encouraged to enter into the mystery of eternal life. We see autumn standing in surrender as the winds sweep her trees naked. The frost browns her meadows and deadens her plants. But a deeper truth is beneath the appearance of death.

“A movement toward life takes place in autumn. Dead leaves that seem to have no value are transformed by winter snows and spring rains to rich humus for new growth… No new growth will come unless autumn agrees to let go of what has been. The same is true of our lives.”

Is that woman a great author or what?!? Are we willing to let go of what has been? Bob and I celebrate our birthdays about three weeks apart. He is two years older than I am. This aging thing brings both of us face to face with the changes that have occurred in our bodies over the many years we have been married. We are no longer strong and as frivolous like in our youth. We both want to approach aging with calmness, peace and an acceptance of what is. That is easier to write than to do. So much easier.

Turn the page

I do know from reading and re-reading the book Radical Acceptance that I only increase my suffering by refusing to accept what is. So here I am turning the corner on 75 and he just turned 77. My older friends in their 80s and 90s tell me I am still young. Whew! I do not feel young!!

The Holy Spirit assures me that God is not finished with me yet. As I learn what I am to lay aside and where to proceed I remember the trees and the changes autumn brings.

Molly, can you stand in surrender and be encouraged to enter into the mystery of eternal life? Dallas Willard taught that eternal life begins now for those of us who love and follow closely after God. There truly are times in my encounters with the Holy One that I can forget the challenges by body presents and breath deeply of the life God offers me in the here and now.

The following piece of music helps me do just that if I will stop, breathe deeply and listen closely. I hope it helps you draw close to God in the present moment and blesses you. I hope you will take the time to listen to all of this piece. For me, it is like a musical prayer. Three minutes, 53 seconds of bliss. Just stop and listen.

Calm App

Jeff, one of the guided meditation leaders on the app, recently noted there are 4 medicines of meditation

  1. Concentration – home base
  2. Clarity – notice what is actually happening, return to the present
  3. Letting things be exactly as they are – allow, deep medicine of equanimity
  4. Care – give self love and support

I was impressed that those are also what we try to get closer to by following the Jesus Way!

By concentration I think of as not being distracted by the things of the world. Focus upon God.

Clarity hoping to have the mind of Christ in this present moment. Here and now.

Letting things be exactly as they are – not trying to change things to suit ourselves and not whining and complaining about God not doing this MY way.

Care for ourself and others. Most of us have never learned consistent, healthy self care.

These four ‘medicines’ are taught by many different disciplines. I think they are important for us to remember and apply to our own lives.

These four merit occasional review to see how we are doing. Bob keeps reminders in his desk calendar on when to change the furnace filters, when to do various jobs throughout the year. Maybe we could each put these 4 in our calendars to review for ourselves once a month?!?

Concentration, Clarity, Let be, Care

Practicing the Way

John Mark Comer has me on a growth course. I am trying to do his ‘first thing in the morning exercise.’ I get my coffee and sit in my prayer chair at the bedroom window. Lately I have been reviewing the day before briefly with the Lord. Then I ask for a Psalm or Scripture to focus upon. I pray that passage to God. I talk with God about my life. I listen for his voice and “attempt to just let go.” Comer goes on to instruct, “But most of the time I just sit there. I breathe. And I look at what my eyes can’t see.” Lately, I have taken that looking to mean adoration.

My journal entries from this practice have blessed and carried me throughout the day. I have returned to wearing my beaded bracelet that reads, “Constantly renewed immediacy.” When it rattles or gets my attention I do my best to renew my immediate awareness of the Lord’s presence.

The time flies past when I practice this. And it also takes almost no time at all! I am amazed and delighted. I refer to the daily Lectionary readings to find the psalm(s) of the day. Sometimes I use those. Or one of the readings, or we just sit together. Here is one entry from last week.

25-10-9 Awaken me to You

Lord the day has begun as a computer mess. Like a bucket of messy spaghetti poured all over the floor. I choose to let that distraction go and pray for you to “hold my face in your hands” as Stephanie sings in “When You’re This Close.” My heart’s desire is to know you as this close. I am dizzy with new drug dose. Getting 2 immunizations today and needing your touch with those. Protect me my Lord from side effects and reactions I pray. I already have a clenched stomach since yesterday.

I look to you as my healer. Psalm for the daily office – Ps 131

O Lord, my heart is not lifted up, my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me.
But I have calmed and quiet my soul,
Like a child at it’s mother’s breast
Like a child that is quieted is my soul.

But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
like a weaned child with its mother;  my soul is like the weaned child that is with me.
O Israel hope in the Lord from this time forth and for evermore.



As I still my soul and make it quiet I realize it is drugged and bleary. Lord hold me close. Awaken me to your presence and your care. I want to be aware of you. Like Brother Lawrence I want to be aware of your closeness and touch. I want to hear your voice saying turn to the right or turn to the left. Isa 30:21

I wait and listen for you now. As I got still I heard,

This is just a season, an episode, like a cloud passing over the earth, an occurrence that will pass. Wait it out with expectations for great things, not doom. Look to me and be radiant.   (Ps 34)

You are a good, good Father. Even as I read out to Pastor Brad (at Bible study last night so he could write them on the white board) what the psalms were for today I did not catch 131 as one of my favorites. Even as I typed it and read it with bleary eyes it did not register until I had the computer read it back to me this morning, until you encouraged me with “wait it out with great expectations.” O Lord forgive me for gloom and help me to fix my eyes upon you with great expectations. The Insight meditation about letting go of control brought me ‘round to facing you fully and being held in your arms of love. I am going to be okay.

EXPECTATIONS FOR GREAT THINGS, NOT DOOM

7:14AM new bird call, still seems dark. Not new, Merlin Bird ID says little Carolina Wren singing praises.

So I went into that day trying to calm and quiet my soul. Waiting upon the Lord with expectations for great things. The next day I had to remember the message I heard from this day as the side effects of the immunizations kicked in. One evening Bob and I both felt just lousy and went to bed early, but we tried not to let that get us down. The immunization side effects have lessened now. The new drug dose, well, I still am not accustomed to it. Hopefully I will adjust soon!

Have you tried this method of starting your day? Have you written down the experience. I strongly encourage both. I never do this with the idea of sharing with anyone else. I do it for myself. Though sometimes, I am asked to let you glimpse what happens between my Lord and me. I hope those glimpses encourage you to try this sort of practice. God is no respecter of persons. He will help you and bless your attempts to practice his presence.

Writing for Another Book?

I was asked recently if I am writing to publish another book. I had scrapped the idea I thought was next. Then a new idea dropped into my heart. Actually it calls upon the old ideas I have been given. Thinking about collecting object lessons the Lord has given me over the years to keep me on the narrow path with him.

Here is one entry entitled “Why I Needed These Lessons.”

Here is one example. As I tried to learn how to follow Jesus and live for the Kingdom I began to realize one very large problem I would need to confront repeatedly was my tongue.

My words would often wound my children and my husband. “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” – Proverbs 18:21

“The tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.” – James 3:5

“He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.” – Proverbs 21:23

“Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” – Psalm 141:3

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” – Psalm 19:14

“If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.” – James 1:26

Oh, I had a tongue! And I had never learned much about how to tame it. I determined that with God’s help I would begin to learn the taming process. That process often required apologies when it got away from me and hurt those I lived with.

I learned that we could offer sacrifices to our God. I found a small stone that looked to me to be a perfect altar. I found a tiny plastic sword in a restaurant sandwich. Then I created a clay tongue and pierced it upon that stone. It sat for  many years in my kitchen windowsill as a reminder to me to give it over to God. I began to continuously ask for the power of the Holy One to come and tame that small part of my body that could so quickly run to evil and destruction when lashed upon others.

I used to teach the children that God created us to praise Him. I would then encourage them (and myself) to praise more and grumble less. Now I had to use that same lesson for my own tendency to use my tongue as a whip instead of an encouraging force.

 “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” James 1:19 Such a simple sentence to read and so very difficult to learn how to live! Slow to speak, slow to anger. I do not know which fought more to be in the forefront of my life, my Irish or German heritage.

The children are grown now and have children of their own. I am still wrestling with this tongue. I think I do better now in relation to them. I still have a challenge when I am tired or in pain. Then I tend to speak without thinking, and sadly, Bob usually takes the brunt of what I say. I have given him scars over the years and there are times when he thinks my tone of voice is meaning something I do not intend. God forgive me, I pray.

I think this discipline will continue until I take my last breath. There are times I think I should reconstruct the stone altar and the clay tongue. I am sure I have a plastic sword some place around here. Lord, deliver me from this tongue which I am so slow to bridle. Help me be quick to hear, slow to speak.

Maybe in this day and age I just need to get it literally pierced as a reminder?

Nah, not feeling it. Besides I would likely get it infected!

All or Some?

What sort of child were you? When my dad would take us to the corner Pony Keg and let us buy candy my sister would usually eat all of hers, sometimes before we got back home. I was more likely to eat some of mine and set it aside for later. More than once she would ask to have some of mine, too. I usually said no, knowing she had been given the as me amount as me.

Recently Bob laughingly questioned a purchase I made. Last Christmas I found dark chocolate covered Rolos with sea salt caramel inside. We loved them and I put them in the candy dish gradually and slowly until they were gone. I was unable to find any more to purchase for us.

Then I found them online at a place called Candy in Bulk. I ordered the smallest, (a five pound bag). Once they arrived I found an empty plastic jar to store them in. Again, I am putting them out gradually in the candy dish. This amount ought to last us for quite some time!

Wrapped in my favorite color!

So which type of person are you? Do you eat all of your candy at once and then ask others for some of theirs? Or are you able to ration it out to yourself slowly and make it last? Bob is known for getting a large candy bar and slicing it up into small bites to consume over time. Caution, that does not work well with ones that have a gooey filling!

Are you like my sister or me? If you seek out those Rolos from last year, I bought them in a bag (as pictured above) and they had a snowflake on each wrapper. The ones I bought in bulk have a purple foil wrapper. They are yummy!

Which tendency is better? Do these attitudes towards the candy reflect scarcity thinking or abundance? “Scarcity mindset is more than just not having enough; it’s a deep-seated belief that resources, opportunities, and even love are limited. This way of thinking makes us feel like we’re constantly in a competition, always worried that someone else’s gain means our loss.” https://mindsetonline.com/scarcity-vs-abundance-mindset-whats-the-difference/

“The abundance mindset is all about seeing the world through a lens of plenty, not lack. It means believing that there are enough resources, opportunities, and successes for everyone, including ourselves. It’s a way of thinking that focuses on what we have and what’s possible, rather than dwelling on what’s missing.” (same website as above)

As more and more shelves at the stores fill up with Christmas candies and trappings, I hope you find whatever delights your heart! It is only early October and already I am oversaturated with Christmas materialism. When the junk in the stores gets to me I find myself whispering a thank you to Jesus for his birth and the goodness he fills our lives with, in spite of the materialism that tries to make a buck off my faith.

“Honey from the rock” usually refers to the unlikely possibility of finding sustenance from a rock. God provides for us in any number of ways! May the sweetness of his presence fill your mouth like honey from the rock, or caramel from a Rolo.

I would feed you with the finest of the wheat,
    and with honey from the rock I would satisfy you.
Psalm 81:16

A Look

Many people are credited with the wisdom about prayer that says, “I look at Him. He looks at me, and we are happy.”

St. Therese of Lisieux is quoted as saying, “For me, prayer is a surge of the heart; it is a simple look turned toward heaven, it is a cry of recognition and of love, embracing both trial and joy.”

It is said about a farmer. It is said about an old man who went to church everyday and just seemed to be sitting in the pew. Finally the priest asked him what he was doing. He replied, “I look at Him. He looks at me, and we are happy.”

and we are happy

Have you tried this? Remember John Mark Comer wrote, “Because it’s here – looking at God, God looking at us, in love – that we are happy, that we are most free, content, at rest, at ease, grateful, joy filled and alive.”

I challenge you to try practicing this for a full week. Spend several minutes every day simply looking towards the King of kings and letting the King look at you. Be at peace and be happy there. Then, as our weatherman is fond of saying, “Rinse and repeat.” Do it tomorrow and the next day and the next. This too is a valuable form of prayer!

“In returning and rest I am saved, In quietness and trust is my strength.” Isaiah 30:15a

Did You Know This?

Our church bulletin says: “If you noticed a heavy emphasis on God’s creation in this liturgy, there’s a reason! From September 1 to October 4, Christians around the globe celebrate the Season of Creation.” Below is information copied from the online website https://seasonofcreation.org/about/

The Season of Creation is a time to renew our relationship with our Creator and all creation through celebration, conversion, and commitment together. During the Season of Creation, we join our sisters and brothers in the ecumenical family in prayer and action for our common home.

Ecumenical Patriarch Dimitrios I proclaimed 1 September as a day of prayer for creation for the Orthodox in 1989. In fact, the Orthodox church year starts on that day with a commemoration of how God created the world.

The World Council of Churches was instrumental in making the special time a season, extending the celebration from 1 September until 4 October.

Following the leadership of Ecumenical Patriarch Dimitrios I and the WCC, Christians worldwide have embraced the season as part of their annual calendar. Pope Francis established the World Day of Prayer for the Care of Creation in the Roman Catholic Church in 2015, and in 2019 started celebrating the Season of Creation as well.

In recent years, statements from religious leaders around the world have also encouraged the faithful to take time to care for creation during the month-long celebration.

The season starts 1 September, the Day of Prayer for Creation, and ends 4 October, the Feast of St. Francis of Assisi, the patron saint of ecology beloved by many Christian denominations.

Throughout the month-long celebration, the world’s 2.2 billion Christians come together to care for our common home.

I like the idea of being united with other churches around the world for this event. As I look out the office window and see our burr oak tree changing her gown from green to yellow to brown, I am reminded that none of us inhabit this earth alone. We need to care for it in community and with future generations in mind. May God lead us in paths of righteousness regarding this gift of the earth we live upon and the air we breathe.

Lectio 360

Recently Lectio used this prayer. I really like it.

Abba, Father, loving creator and sustainer of all things. You are God for me.  
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, saviour of the world. You are God with me.
Holy Spirit, breath of God, bringer of holiness, peace and joy. You are God in me. 

The Trinity I worship is always present even when I fail to recognize the fact. Our worship bulletin shared this prayer one week.

O Almighty God, who pours out on all who desire it the spirit of grace and of supplication: 
Deliver us, when we draw near to thee, from coldness of heart and wanderings of mind,
that with steadfast thoughts and kindled affections
we may worship thee in spirit and in truth; thorough Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

That same day I was asked to help serve communion. I consider it a privilege to share the cup of wine with others. This particular morning I almost burst into tears when I realized the choir was singing In the Garden, the song my mother taught me. I had to compose myself and focus upon holding the cup and placing it where my fellow church members needed it, for them to dip their wafer or sip from with their lips. It took all my composure not to burst into tears of gratitude. Here I was sixty years after choosing the Episcopal Church, having buried both my parents and all those worship themes combined and blessed me immensely. Oh how things are orchestrated to bring us joy!!

The prayer above reflects my heart. Abba, Father, You are God for me. Lord Jesus Christ, You are God with me. Holy Spirit, Your are God in me.

May my God be glorified in all that I do, think, and say.

I will bless the Lord at all times;
    his praise shall continually be in my mouth.
My soul makes its boast in the Lord;
    let the humble hear and be glad.
O magnify the Lord with me,
    and let us exalt his name together.
Psalm 34:1-3 NRSUE

And then the Calendar got MORE full!

This week will not be any better than last week. We both have multiple medical appointments. I am trying to figure out a new schedule but as loaded as this schedule is there is NO wiggle room. If only I did not need an afternoon rest! If only my fatigue did not ramp up after 6 PM!

I just remembered the “If-onlys” can lead to increased emotional and mental suffering. I do not want to go there. This month we celebrate 55 years of marriage. In November I turn 75 years old. This is my life right now and I am never alone. God walks with me and also guides my steps.

1 Thessalonians KJV implores us to “rejoice evermore.”

 Rejoice always,  pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not quench the Spirit. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-19

I rejoice that we have access to such good medical care. I rejoice that we are able to afford what the physicians and their assistants wast us to buy, be it medication or physical therapy or devices to aid in healing.

I rejoice that Bob and I are able to cheer each other on when one of us gets low.

I pray for healing, not only for ourselves. We have a neighbor who is not going to get well from Parkinson’s. I pray that neighbor can have the best life possible and find ways to cheer the family and self.

I give thanks for the flowers that have survived the drought so far. I ask for grace as I drag one the hose again. Not a drop of rain the forecast.

Okay, my ship is beached for now – but not forever!

Would you get hold of the passage above and form prayers,, thanksgiving and rejoicing for yourself and those you know?

Are you Living Into This?

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 1 Peter 2:9 NIV

This verse serves to remind us who we are in Christ! Do you see yourself as God’s special possession? Each one of us has a calling upon our life. We are to declare his praises! This can be so easy to forget. Have you been living it?

What might you use as a reminder as this week unfolds? You belong to God and with that comes the ability to declare his praises! Called out of darkness into his WONDERFUL light. The iPhone has an ability to make letters in a text message jump. I want to make the word wonderful jump before your eyes!

This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. 20 Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. 21 But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God. John 3:19-21 NIV

Love the light. Love the Lord! Declare praises.