Category: Trust

Posted on in Aging, Faith, Focus, Just do it, Listen, Obedience, Praise, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Trust, Worship, Yield

To Know You

These days when every old seasonal movie is shown on TV, there is an elf running around in an adult-sized costume hollering, “I KNOW HIM!!!”

During this season when some folks get the blues over lost times and memories of the past, I have a question. Those days when things seem blah remember this! Do you know Him? Not the merchandising one, the One who came to set us free!

10 I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the sharing of his sufferings by becoming like him in his death, 11 if somehow I may attain the resurrection from the dead. Philippians 3:10-11 NRVUE

I have much to learn about those two verses. What about you?

23 Thus says the Lord: Do not let the wise boast in their wisdom; do not let the mighty boast in their might; do not let the wealthy boast in their wealth; 24 but let those who boast boast in this, that they understand and know me, that I am the Lord; I act with steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth, for in these things I delight, says the Lord. Jeremiah 9:23-24 NRSUE

I will never fully understand or know the Almighty, but I make it the work of my life to learn more and more

28 God chose what is low and despised in the world, things that are not, to abolish things that are, 29 so that no one might boast in the presence of God. 30 In contrast, God is why you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification and redemption, 31 in order that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.” 1 Cor 1:28-31 NRSVUE

That is enough to keep me pondering all the days of my life!! J B Philips did a New Testament translation that is often times refreshing.

We wish you could see how all this is working out for your benefit, and how the more grace God gives, the more thanksgiving will redound to his glory. This is the reason why we never collapse. The outward man does indeed suffer wear and tear, but every day the inward man receives fresh strength. These little troubles (which are really so transitory) are winning for us a permanent, glorious and solid reward out of all proportion to our pain. For we are looking all the time not at the visible things but at the invisible. The visible things are transitory: it is the invisible things that are really permanent. Philips 2 Corinthians 4: 15-18

One of my favorite artists, Stephanie Gretzinger, draws me back to this truth as I play the following song repeatedly. Written by Graham Kendrick it is full of eternal truths. I encourage you to also listen to it repeatedly. Layers upon layers of meaning.

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Family, Memories, Rest, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Thanks, Trust

Sixty-four Years Ago

My Dad died so long ago and my mom almost as long ago (fifty years ago). It is sad when one can no longer remember traits of a parent. I know stories about them, but the actual sound of their voice or personal traits, not so much. In this day and age of digital recordings, hopefully some of you might have a copy of your parent’s voice?

If not, how do you fill that gap? At age eleven or twelve when I realized that no one could replace my Dad, I began to pursue God. Even that lofty pursuit left holes and tears in the fabric of my living.

I have learned that the Trinity loves me tenderly like a mother, shields me daily like a father.

“As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.” – Isaiah 66:13

“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing.” – Matthew 23:37

The term “El Shaddai” translates to “God Almighty” or “the God who is sufficient.” It originates from ancient Hebrew, where “El” refers to God, and “Shaddai” is thought to denote strength or mountains, symbolizing power and stability. Some scholars suggest “Shaddai” comes from the root word “shad,” meaning “breast,” emphasizing God’s nurturing and protective qualities. https://biblicalchronology.com/what-is-the-biblical-meaning-of-el-shaddai/

One of the best loved Psalms declaring God’s protection is 91.

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”

3 Surely he will save you
    from the fowler’s snare
    and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers,
    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night,
    nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
    nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side,
    ten thousand at your right hand,
    but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes
    and see the punishment of the wicked.

9 If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”
    and you make the Most High your dwelling,
10 no harm will overtake you,
    no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
    you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

14 “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
    I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call on me, and I will answer him;
    I will be with him in trouble,
    I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him
    and show him my salvation.” Psalm 91 NIV

May you find nurture and protection, shelter and relationship in your fellowship with God.

Posted on in Aging, Amazing Creations, Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Listen, Look, Nature, Praise, Prayer, Rest, Special Event, Trust, Yield

My Full Stop during Retreat

As I mentioned yesterday in this blog “When I went to the Associates retreat over a week ago I was watching for my full stop. I consider the retreat a success when I finally put everything aside and come to a full stop before the Lord.” The ‘Providence of God’ is defined as the purposeful sovereignty of God. Sovereignty is the royal rank, authority, power.

My full stop came at an unusual time for me. I had decided to honor my need for rest, even if that need interfered with a scheduled convent prayer service or even the Eucharist. Saturday late morning I decided to lay down for a nap. I was looking out my window in the retreat house. The leaves on the tree were blowing, but not yet falling. I was reminded of Brother Lawrence.

Brother Lawrence is reported to have said: “That in the winter, seeing a tree stripped of its leaves, and considering that within a little time, the leaves would be renewed, and after that the flowers and fruit appear, he received a high view of the Providence and Power of GOD, which has never since been effaced from his soul. That this view had perfectly set him loose from the world, and kindled in him such a love for GOD, that he could not tell whether it had increased in above forty years that he had lived since.”

And then I realized:

Seeing this tree in autumn, knowing the changes it will endure as leaves fall and then are renewed, and after that the flower and fruit will appear, I see a high view of the Providence of God, which shall not be effaced from my soul. This view sets me free from the world, and kindles in me such love for God, that I can not tell whether it has decreased since my childhood times fifty years ago in Robison Park with God.

 Yes, my full stop. I then went peacefully to sleep.

God is able to grow these trees, to keep these trees through drought and storms, wind and hail, all of the seasons and even the insults of mankind. God is able to keep me, also, regardless of what comes my way. There have been so many events in 2025 that have been difficult and/or upsetting, yet I have been kept through all of them. There is such a love for God kindled in my soul. I am in awe.

Sit for a minute and reflect upon your year thus far. Remind yourself of all the many ways you have been kept. Be grateful and in awe.

 

Posted on in Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Focus, Just do it, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Trust

A Look

Many people are credited with the wisdom about prayer that says, “I look at Him. He looks at me, and we are happy.”

St. Therese of Lisieux is quoted as saying, “For me, prayer is a surge of the heart; it is a simple look turned toward heaven, it is a cry of recognition and of love, embracing both trial and joy.”

It is said about a farmer. It is said about an old man who went to church everyday and just seemed to be sitting in the pew. Finally the priest asked him what he was doing. He replied, “I look at Him. He looks at me, and we are happy.”

and we are happy

Have you tried this? Remember John Mark Comer wrote, “Because it’s here – looking at God, God looking at us, in love – that we are happy, that we are most free, content, at rest, at ease, grateful, joy filled and alive.”

I challenge you to try practicing this for a full week. Spend several minutes every day simply looking towards the King of kings and letting the King look at you. Be at peace and be happy there. Then, as our weatherman is fond of saying, “Rinse and repeat.” Do it tomorrow and the next day and the next. This too is a valuable form of prayer!

“In returning and rest I am saved, In quietness and trust is my strength.” Isaiah 30:15a

Posted on in Book quotes, Faith, Just do it, Obedience, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Traveling, Trust, Worship

Reading a New to Me Book

I belong to a Monday night Zoom book discussion. The leader recently suggested we read Practicing the Way. Written by John Mark Comer, this book quotes some of my favorite authors: Brother Lawrence, Dallas Willard, Thomas Kelly, Madame Guyon and others.

Published January, 2024

There are YouTube video interviews, podcast interviews and many more resources. If you go to the website https://www.practicingtheway.org/ the resources for getting you started and keeping you inspired are numerous!

You might remember that the early followers of Jesus were said to be “The Way.” Jesus referred to himself as the way, the truth and the life. (John 14:6). In Acts the early followers are referred to as the Way. There are many references in the New Testament.

Quoting Karl Rahner, Comer writes,

“The Christian of the future will be a mystic or he will not exist at all.”

He goes on to say, “Mystics are just those who aren’t content to read books or hear sermons about this glorious reality; they want to experience this love and be transformed by it into a people of love. Because it’s here – looking at God, God looking at us, in love – that we are happy, that we are most free, content, at rest, at ease, grateful, joy filled and alive.”

When was the last time you spent time just BEING WITH God. Not asking for anything, but just spending time together? Thinking over this idea I realized that many of my retreat times with the Transfiguration Community have brought me to this place of resting in God, being with God, looking lovingly at God and knowing I am being seen by God.

Often when I go to the cemetery where Daughters go to die, the purpose is to remind myself that I am seen and heard and loved by God. I drop all the clutter that occludes this wisdom and rest there in God.

The best way for me to learn is taking notes and typing them up. I will be doing this the next few weeks. My goal is not to reproduce the book, but hopefully to interest you enough that you might explore it for yourself. At least you might glean some wisdom from the notes I share?

You have likely seen the bumper sticker that asks, “Do you follow Jesus this closely?” John Mark opens with sentiment that we might be “covered with the dust of our rabbi” meaning follow Jesus so closely that the dust he kicks up will be all over us. I think that is a great word picture! I pray it will be true of you, also. If I understand correctly he got the image from Rob Bell who got it from Hebraic teaching.

Posted on in Collection of Quotes, Faith, Marriage and Memories, Spiritual discipline, Thanks, Trust, Yield

Not Certain of Article Origin Though Grateful For Our Long Marriage!

Bob found this and printed it out to read to me at our anniversary dinner. I was looking for the source online since it says a Harvard study, but it only seemed to be on Facebook and Instagram? I decided it was worth sharing regardless of who first wrote it! We found these to be true for our marriage also.

1. A Harvard study of 724 couples who made it past 30 years revealed something surprising: what kept them together wasn’t love, s*x, or kids. It was the ability to tolerate the same things in each other—over and over again. The ones who divorced thought, “This habit drives me crazy, but I can fix it.” The ones who stayed accepted, saying: “This is who they are. They’re not changing.”

2. Long marriages rarely resolve every conflict. That’s a myth. Couples who lasted 30+ years didn’t dig forever into every hurt feeling. They learned to let go. Not suppress—but release. “You forgot again,” “You said the wrong thing again”—short-term couples turn that into a fight. Long-term couples let it slide. Because they chose peace over being right.

3 . The real skill of lasting couples? Quick emotional recovery. It’s not about never fighting. It’s about bouncing back fast. He snapped two hours ago—and now he’s hugging her. No pride. No “you go first.” In marriages that last, the winner isn’t the one who’s right—it’s the one who comes back first.

4. The strongest couples weren’t bonded by “we have everything in common”—but by “we face the world together.” A shared struggle: poverty, toxic relatives, building a business, even a shared hatred for the system. Anything that puts you on the same team—us vs. the world—builds the bond. Couples without an external pressure? More likely to crack from the inside.

5. And the biggest truth? Almost every long-term marriage had a point where they were ready to call it quits. Almost all of them. But they didn’t. Not because they couldn’t—but because they gave it more time. The most common answer: “I decided to do nothing. And six months later, things shifted.” Turns out, most marriage crises die off—if you just stop feeding them.

Certainly worth consideration! We had a delightful celebration and spent some of the time looking back in wonder and another part of the time planning where we would still like to travel! Then this song from long, long ago popped into my head.

Posted on in Aging, Amazing Creations, Challenge, Focus, Listen, Memories, Music, Praise, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Thanks, Trust

Lectio 360

Recently Lectio used this prayer. I really like it.

Abba, Father, loving creator and sustainer of all things. You are God for me.  
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, saviour of the world. You are God with me. 
Holy Spirit, breath of God, bringer of holiness, peace and joy. You are God in me. 

The Trinity I worship is always present even when I fail to recognize the fact. Our worship bulletin shared this prayer one week.

O Almighty God, who pours out on all who desire it the spirit of grace and of supplication: 
Deliver us, when we draw near to thee, from coldness of heart and wanderings of mind, 
that with steadfast thoughts and kindled affections 
we may worship thee in spirit and in truth; thorough Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

That same day I was asked to help serve communion. I consider it a privilege to share the cup of wine with others. This particular morning I almost burst into tears when I realized the choir was singing In the Garden, the song my mother taught me. I had to compose myself and focus upon holding the cup and placing it where my fellow church members needed it, for them to dip their wafer or sip from with their lips. It took all my composure not to burst into tears of gratitude. Here I was sixty years after choosing the Episcopal Church, having buried both my parents and all those worship themes combined and blessed me immensely. Oh how things are orchestrated to bring us joy!!

The prayer above reflects my heart. Abba, Father, You are God for me. Lord Jesus Christ, You are God with me. Holy Spirit, Your are God in me.

May my God be glorified in all that I do, think, and say.

I will bless the Lord at all times;
    his praise shall continually be in my mouth.
2 My soul makes its boast in the Lord;
    let the humble hear and be glad.
3 O magnify the Lord with me,
    and let us exalt his name together. Psalm 34:1-3 NRSUE

Posted on in Aging, Faith, Illness and Health, medical treatment, Trust

Decisions, Decisions

Test results are in. The CT scan confirmed I have “fusiform aneurysmal dilatation of the ascending thoracic aorta at 5.0 cm. Mild coronary calcification.”

Fusiform means the aneurysm is all around the vessel, not just one side. Dilatation means enlarged.

I have no symptoms. Remember we had no idea in December 2024 that an aneurysm even existed in me. Only the echo-cardiogram in January 2025 brought it to light. What would our grandparents have done? Thinking they would just leave it alone. So far, 2025 has been a wild ride. I have decided that if the doctor suggests surgery I am going to refuse. The newest endovascular techniques that do not require open heart surgery have not been approved for the thoracic ascending aorta. They also have a high incidence of leakage.

What? I have no leakage now! So I have decided no heart surgery in my future. I turn 75 this year. Why would I put myself through that? The incision would be large and the recovery a bear. I already have fibromyalgia. I do not want to imagine how that would flare up with open heart surgery!!

When the doctor read the report he texted, “Ascending aorta measures 5.0 cm compared to 4.8 cm by prior CMR evaluation. We will continue to monitor closely for surgical timing. No intervention needed just yet. Will discuss further at our visit in September.”

News from the patient. He will have to talk long and hard to ever convince me to undergo open heart surgery. If the aneurysm bursts then the odds of death are high and rapid. Hopefully, not too painful, but we are talking death here.

Yes, there are many wonderful things the medical world can do. There are also some awful things like prolonging life when it might be more loving to just let someone go on to the arms of God. Mom always said she did not want to live as a vegetable. I do not want to be kept alive after my expiration date just because the medical world has found a way to prolong my time here.

I continue to pray for wisdom and guidance from the Lord.

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Family, Humor, medical treatment, Prayer, Rest, Surrender, Thanks, Trust, Yield

What will I share this week?

This is a month of changes. My husband will undergo knee replacement surgery this month. We are thinking his years of playing catcher in baseball and then doing the breast stroke among others on swim teams for many, many years contributed to the destruction of the cushioning in his knee. He is walking the dog and riding his bike with bone on bone at this point. Two meniscus repairs did not help either! They took measurements through his CT scan to fit the replacement parts with more accuracy than was available in years prior to this event.

We will doing all of his recovery at home. It is somewhat amazing after watching the video in the surgeon’s office that they think this is so advanced and safe that I will be his caregiver! Watching the video we both realized this is no little thing they will be doing to him. They also informed us that he will be up and walking immediately after surgery. Yes, he will need a walker or crutches for stability, but he is expected to walk regularly the day of surgery and thereafter. None of this lollygagging around in bed!

Evidently the surgery has made huge advances in the last 20 years and our particular surgeon is extremely careful. Bob will even be using a nasal antibiotic before the surgery as well as antibacterial body wash, etc.

There is a new pain medication on the market called Journavx. “JOURNAVX is a prescription medicine used to treat adults with moderate-to-severe short-term (acute) pain.” Evidently if works through the peripheral nervous system which is outside your brain and spinal column. This is used instead of opioids. According to our surgeon patients are recovering faster and not having the side effects and addiction risk of opioids. If nothing else, this will be a grand experiment in the effects of as Bob calls it, “Better living through modern chemistry! “

He has nice legs, but not like hers!

We practiced Bob getting in and out of the car with the immobilizer brace on his leg. He has to wear this any time he is up and walking until Physical Therapy releases him from it. They warned us he might have to use the back seat for the ride home. Yep! It was way too difficult for him to maneuver into the front seat. Hopefully that will not become his usual place to ride in the car! He is already unhappy at being told he may not drive for 4 weeks. The surgery is on his right knee. He told one friend he is going to put the number for Uber in his phone. He is not good at just being at home. I figure by the time he gets in and out of the car for physical therapy and doctor appointments, a nap at home might sound good! The heat has been getting both of us down.

Equipped with a leg immobilizer, walker, crutches, cane, a list of medications and printed schedule for taking them, the electric ice machine, leg compression stockings, (oh my I will be busy, won’t I?) we are prayed up and almost ready. Wednesday August 27 at 7 AM is the big day! So many people who have had the same surgery speak of how nice it is to not be in pain anymore. We have been told that the first two weeks are the hardest. I will be rearranging my schedule to accommodate his needs. He had so often been my caregiver. After almost 55 years this is not a burden or unexpected. He is the love of my life and I want him as comfortable and healthy as possible. Of course, I might have to tie him to a chair at times to get him to rest, but then I might also have to chase him around the house with the threat of a fly swatter spanking to keep him moving. Just kidding. I think?!?

There was a saying that after forty you just patch, patch, patch. I think after seventy you just crumble. Thank God we have access to so many kinds of fixes!

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Memories, Obedience, Prayer, Rest, Trust, Yield

The Daughter’s Tombstone

Years ago, after I dropped my son off at nursery school I drove around enjoying some quiet with God. I wound up in a cemetery I had never been to before. I had been praising and singing a good part of the morning. I came up the steep curved driveway and much to my surprise there was this huge tombstone with a simple word daughters.

photo taken more than 45 years ago

I had been studying William Law and the idea of dying to self. I was struck with the idea that this is the place where daughters come to die. As a daughter of the King of kings, the will of God is more important than my will. I was at the place in my walk where I realized that obedience to the King is more important than what I want in any given situation.

That same morning I heard a worship chorus. It goes, “Total surrender brings total power, Spirit of Christ in me, totally yielded to Thee every hour, until Thy will I see. Death to my passions and every desire, living wholly for Thee, have Your own way Spirit of Love, totally flow through me.”

Recently, I drove to the same cemetery and the headstone is terribly discolored.

photo August 3, 2025

I decided to return and try and clean it. Online it said to use vinegar water with maybe a drop of dish soap in it and a soft brush. My husband went with me. We took a gallon of water and scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed. It did look better when we were finished, but still discolored.

August 4, 2025 Prior to second scrubbing

Recently, we’ve had some family trouble. With all the stress, I was having difficulty concentrating on writing, so I decided to return to the cemetery and scrub some more. This time I took a baking soda solution, another internet idea. On the way there I remembered the chorus about total surrender. It was so fitting because in this family situation I have no influence and no control over the outcome. Once there as I got my supplies out of the car and climbed a little hill to the headstone, I began singing the chorus. I was reminded once again that this place of surrender to God is the healthiest and happiest place for me to be.

I will go back tomorrow take another photo and see how the daughter’s grave is looking. In the meanwhile I will do my best to stayed yielded to God my Father and Mother.

For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel:
In returning and rest you shall be saved;
    in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.
But you refused Isaiah 30:15 NRSVUE

And Samuel said,

“Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices
    as in obedience to the voice of the Lord?
Surely, to obey is better than sacrifice
    and to heed than the fat of rams.” 1 Samuel 15:22 NRSVUE

“If you love me, you will keep my commandments. 16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, to be with you forever. 17 This is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him because he abides with you, and he will be in you.” John 14:15-17 NRSVUE

After second scrubbing