Not Certain of Article Origin Though Grateful For Our Long Marriage!

Bob found this and printed it out to read to me at our anniversary dinner. I was looking for the source online since it says a Harvard study, but it only seemed to be on Facebook and Instagram? I decided it was worth sharing regardless of who first wrote it! We found these to be true for our marriage also.

1. A Harvard study of 724 couples who made it past 30 years revealed something surprising: what kept them together wasn’t love, s*x, or kids. It was the ability to tolerate the same things in each other—over and over again. The ones who divorced thought, “This habit drives me crazy, but I can fix it.” The ones who stayed accepted, saying: “This is who they are. They’re not changing.”

2. Long marriages rarely resolve every conflict. That’s a myth. Couples who lasted 30+ years didn’t dig forever into every hurt feeling. They learned to let go. Not suppress—but release. “You forgot again,” “You said the wrong thing again”—short-term couples turn that into a fight. Long-term couples let it slide. Because they chose peace over being right.

3 . The real skill of lasting couples? Quick emotional recovery. It’s not about never fighting. It’s about bouncing back fast. He snapped two hours ago—and now he’s hugging her. No pride. No “you go first.” In marriages that last, the winner isn’t the one who’s right—it’s the one who comes back first.

4. The strongest couples weren’t bonded by “we have everything in common”—but by “we face the world together.” A shared struggle: poverty, toxic relatives, building a business, even a shared hatred for the system. Anything that puts you on the same team—us vs. the world—builds the bond. Couples without an external pressure? More likely to crack from the inside.

5. And the biggest truth? Almost every long-term marriage had a point where they were ready to call it quits. Almost all of them. But they didn’t. Not because they couldn’t—but because they gave it more time. The most common answer: “I decided to do nothing. And six months later, things shifted.” Turns out, most marriage crises die off—if you just stop feeding them.

Certainly worth consideration! We had a delightful celebration and spent some of the time looking back in wonder and another part of the time planning where we would still like to travel! Then this song from long, long ago popped into my head.

Did You Know This?

Our church bulletin says: “If you noticed a heavy emphasis on God’s creation in this liturgy, there’s a reason! From September 1 to October 4, Christians around the globe celebrate the Season of Creation.” Below is information copied from the online website https://seasonofcreation.org/about/

The Season of Creation is a time to renew our relationship with our Creator and all creation through celebration, conversion, and commitment together. During the Season of Creation, we join our sisters and brothers in the ecumenical family in prayer and action for our common home.

Ecumenical Patriarch Dimitrios I proclaimed 1 September as a day of prayer for creation for the Orthodox in 1989. In fact, the Orthodox church year starts on that day with a commemoration of how God created the world.

The World Council of Churches was instrumental in making the special time a season, extending the celebration from 1 September until 4 October.

Following the leadership of Ecumenical Patriarch Dimitrios I and the WCC, Christians worldwide have embraced the season as part of their annual calendar. Pope Francis established the World Day of Prayer for the Care of Creation in the Roman Catholic Church in 2015, and in 2019 started celebrating the Season of Creation as well.

In recent years, statements from religious leaders around the world have also encouraged the faithful to take time to care for creation during the month-long celebration.

The season starts 1 September, the Day of Prayer for Creation, and ends 4 October, the Feast of St. Francis of Assisi, the patron saint of ecology beloved by many Christian denominations.

Throughout the month-long celebration, the world’s 2.2 billion Christians come together to care for our common home.

I like the idea of being united with other churches around the world for this event. As I look out the office window and see our burr oak tree changing her gown from green to yellow to brown, I am reminded that none of us inhabit this earth alone. We need to care for it in community and with future generations in mind. May God lead us in paths of righteousness regarding this gift of the earth we live upon and the air we breathe.

How Do I Love Him?

Fifty-five more years would not give me time to list all of the ways!

wedding rehearsal
the actual wedding
lunch with our best friends
family dinner celebration of birthdays and anniversary
right after his knee replacement surgery
exploring the wonders of the earth
how I love those hands

He has invested his life in mine. He knows me better than anyone else on earth. The compassion and grace that flows from him is beyond my words. His humor is sometimes tiring, but usually has me in giggles. The perspective he brings to me is invaluable. I have seen him give of himself to a fault. His determination to heal after this knee surgery is at times scary. Take it easy, my man. You are well on your way to full healing from this!

I cannot tell you how much I love him. Life without him is beyond my comprehension. Over the years we have talked about who will die first. I am saying it must be him. He is saying his lungs will not outlast me. Lord, only you know.

And I know Lord, you are able to keep us in all of our ways. Thank you for this man who blesses my life beyond telling.

Now to him who is able to keep you from falling and to make you stand without blemish in the presence of his glory with rejoicing, 25 to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, power, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen. Jude 24-25 NSRVUE

Lectio 360

Recently Lectio used this prayer. I really like it.

Abba, Father, loving creator and sustainer of all things. You are God for me.  
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, saviour of the world. You are God with me.
Holy Spirit, breath of God, bringer of holiness, peace and joy. You are God in me. 

The Trinity I worship is always present even when I fail to recognize the fact. Our worship bulletin shared this prayer one week.

O Almighty God, who pours out on all who desire it the spirit of grace and of supplication: 
Deliver us, when we draw near to thee, from coldness of heart and wanderings of mind,
that with steadfast thoughts and kindled affections
we may worship thee in spirit and in truth; thorough Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

That same day I was asked to help serve communion. I consider it a privilege to share the cup of wine with others. This particular morning I almost burst into tears when I realized the choir was singing In the Garden, the song my mother taught me. I had to compose myself and focus upon holding the cup and placing it where my fellow church members needed it, for them to dip their wafer or sip from with their lips. It took all my composure not to burst into tears of gratitude. Here I was sixty years after choosing the Episcopal Church, having buried both my parents and all those worship themes combined and blessed me immensely. Oh how things are orchestrated to bring us joy!!

The prayer above reflects my heart. Abba, Father, You are God for me. Lord Jesus Christ, You are God with me. Holy Spirit, Your are God in me.

May my God be glorified in all that I do, think, and say.

I will bless the Lord at all times;
    his praise shall continually be in my mouth.
My soul makes its boast in the Lord;
    let the humble hear and be glad.
O magnify the Lord with me,
    and let us exalt his name together.
Psalm 34:1-3 NRSUE

Celebrations During September

Welcome to our pumpkin patch!!

Pat has her birthday celebration today! Greetings my friend (albeit a few days late) then is our wedding anniversary 55!! 55!! 55!! then Grandgirl Lizzie has a birthday the same day as anniversary and a couple days later our son-in-law Dave’s birthday. Lots to rejoice over in September.

I can barely comprehend that this year has flown past so quickly. Bob is definitely on the mend from his knee replacement surgery. He is allowed to drive and drove himself to meet his friend for coffee at Micky D’s this morning.

We had 1/4 inch of rain yesterday. Hoping for much much more this week. The leaves are raining all over the deck and back yard. Neighbor houses coming into view as they fall.

This is a month of rejoicing and celebrating the change of seasons. Few of us in Cincinnati are sad to see the upper 80s depart. I used to say if it was 70 degrees before 9AM we were in for a scorcher. We have been fortunate to go below 70 at night the last X# of weeks. Grateful for a little bit lower temperatures.

The aphids ate my nasturtiums and the spray to be rid of them killed the plants. Oh my. Need a better plan next year. Last year I had flowers right into late October. Sad about this year.

I injured my right pinky last week. Wearing a splint that catches on the signal arms in the car. Waiting for radiologist to read the x-ray to determine if I broke it or not. Still purple and painful four days later. It is always SOMETHING with this body.

Becky at our crochet group brought us the idea of the crocheted pumpkins. First thing in a while I have been excited to create. One online pattern showed how to crochet a stem. One suggested using a stick fro a stem. I kind of like both ways!

When I injured my pinky I could not crochet at all that first day. Then was able to do a little bit the next day. Of course, I had ordered yarn and purchased yarn in various pumpkin shades. As it arrived I was a bit distressed wondering how many pumpkins I could even make. I want some to share with friends as well as decorate our home. I think I can do a bit more today.

I hope to write more this week than in the last two. Bob sees knee surgeon this week and will hopefully get to be rid of the compression socks. Getting them over his heel with only 9 fingers has been as interesting twist. He can pull them up after the heel challenge.

Ha! medical report just arrived. No acute fracture of my finger. “Degenerative change is seen in the interphalangeal joints with fusion across the fifth DIP joint,” There you have it. I have my mother’s old arthritic fingers and this one is now in living color!

Out of focus bruised pinky

Hope your autumn is unfolding in glorious colors and with joy.

And then the Calendar got MORE full!

This week will not be any better than last week. We both have multiple medical appointments. I am trying to figure out a new schedule but as loaded as this schedule is there is NO wiggle room. If only I did not need an afternoon rest! If only my fatigue did not ramp up after 6 PM!

I just remembered the “If-onlys” can lead to increased emotional and mental suffering. I do not want to go there. This month we celebrate 55 years of marriage. In November I turn 75 years old. This is my life right now and I am never alone. God walks with me and also guides my steps.

1 Thessalonians KJV implores us to “rejoice evermore.”

 Rejoice always,  pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not quench the Spirit. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-19

I rejoice that we have access to such good medical care. I rejoice that we are able to afford what the physicians and their assistants wast us to buy, be it medication or physical therapy or devices to aid in healing.

I rejoice that Bob and I are able to cheer each other on when one of us gets low.

I pray for healing, not only for ourselves. We have a neighbor who is not going to get well from Parkinson’s. I pray that neighbor can have the best life possible and find ways to cheer the family and self.

I give thanks for the flowers that have survived the drought so far. I ask for grace as I drag one the hose again. Not a drop of rain the forecast.

Okay, my ship is beached for now – but not forever!

Would you get hold of the passage above and form prayers,, thanksgiving and rejoicing for yourself and those you know?

Yikes

This is the week that writing has lapsed. Too many doctor appointments and physical therapy, etc.

So I will just chat. The last week of August I noticed that the clump river birch and the spice bush were both starting to turn yellow. They are now spangles of bright yellow and green.

This town went nuts recently with Bengals clothing. So far we have seen Joe Burrow not off to a good start, or Bob says it might be the defense that is ailing? Arch enemy Cleveland Browns are the opponents and the yelling is loud! Fireworks outside. Bengals WIN!!!?!

Speaking of orange, teh aphids have destroyed the front nasturtiums shown in opening photo. I sprayed with a suggested mixture of water, soap, etc. Just tortured those plants. Ugh. Last year we enjoyed those flowers well into late October.

My mother said she never had to make another pie crust since Pillsbury did such a good job. I have tried, but my results are not worth the work. Betty and my neighbor Ginny both make good crust. Do you know what happens when you take the last 2 frozen Pillsbury crusts out of the deep freezer and accidentally drop them on the garage floor? They break!! Had to get frozen mixed vegetables at the store anyway, so I bought more crusts. This afternoon I made a chicken pot pie with the leftover rotisserie chicken from Sam’s. Now I am baking the cracked pie crusts into large apple tarts. I will share one with a neighbor.

Things regarding Bob’s recovery were going slower than he would like. The swelling has been awful. He discovered the more he elevates and rests the less it swells. He is doing his stretches and hoping to have improvement in his range of motion numbers on Tuesday. He sees both the surgeon and the PT folks then.

He only uses the walker at night to get to the bathroom safely. He is walking on his own around the house. We made it back to church today and he used his cane.

We had the blessing of a whole inch of rain in one night this past week. So grateful for that! Most of the yard is still crunchy. Night time low last night was 49! Forecast to be 48 tonight! Highs still going into low 80s.

I am debating whether I will compile another book of devotions or not. Pray for me to have wisdom. I am applying myself to writing poetry again. Dana and I will work on getting the poetry ready to publish through Amazon.

So as I fill this week with the usual care of Bob, driving, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning and laundry I will be praying for you, my readers.

May you be blessed with an increased awareness of the hesed of God. You are so loved and held. Listen for the singing over you! Rejoice that it is so!

God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us. Romans 5:5b NRSVUE

The Lord, your God, is in your midst,
    a warrior who gives victory;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
    he will renew you in his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.
Zephaniah 3:17 NRSVUE

Bob’s Recovery

It is always a relief when the Doctor calls and tells you, “The surgery went fine. He did well.” Total knee replacement is in the rear view mirror. The opening photo is minutes after getting home from the surgery. You can see he is still wearing the wrist band!

Bob’s recovery has gone very well. He is making rapid progress. He always sets such high expectations for himself, at times I have had to try to convince him he is NOT Superman! The opioid medication was only used 2 or 3 times. The new medication Journax along with Tylenol are carrying him along very well.

First physical therapy was rough, but he made it through. I did not have to convince him to allow the ice machine at the end of it! Watching the therapist put the compression sock on his leg taught me how best to do it. Yep, Nurse Molly is in full swing here! He was delighted when therapist said he could quit using the black knee immobilizer. It was causing him much discomfort.

I was laughing the first time I washed his white stockings and thought of the old World War II era movies and women hanging their stockings to dry.

Joan Crawford. No I was not wearing that outfit or those high heels as I hung the stockings to dry!!

The recommendation not to use the walker with wheels and brakes was absolutely correct! He saw right away how it might get away from him, especially on the hill that is our driveway. Wednesday morning surgery and Sunday afternoon he used the basic walker to go down the drive and walk 2 driveways to our right and one to our left.

Rolling in my sewing chair he is making his knee bend more than it wants to, as directed. He is doing his exercises regularly so far! He wants to walk the dog. I said no. First of all she is terrified of that walker (and anything else new to the house). How is he going to accomplish that? He swears he is going to use only the cane before the therapist says that is okay. We will wait until she says he can park the walker. He also declared he is going to be driving asap. Yeah, right. Guess I better hide the extra car keys!!

Thank you for your prayers and cards, meals and phone calls inquiring how he is doing.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  Philippians 4:6-7

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  Isaiah 41:10

Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees.  “Make level paths for your feet,” so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed. Hebrews 12:12-13 NIV

My Prayer Chair

Almost every morning I use a chair in our bedroom for my prayer and meditation time. Lately there has been a racket outside!

Remember when we recently went to the dirt track?

The cars zoomed around, not in lanes as much as trying to be first, not crash and get the prize.

Things began just after dawn. Seated for prayer I suddenly had a ruby throated hummingbird just the other side of the screen looking me in the eye! It might have flown in had there not been a screen! Are you familiar with the twitter of the hummingbirds?

Soon the fun began as they raced past the window, twittering their territory song? warrior song? fighting over the feeder about 36 inches from my window. I wanted the flags the guy at the race track had! The more I thought of the similarities the funnier it became!

Love those extended feet! “Incoming! Incoming!!”
Bob caught some great images!!
Fighting is thirsty work!
Hey! Whatchu lookin at?

They will migrate in a week or two. I will truly miss them until they return next April.

ZOOM! Watch for those treasures in plain sight!!

The heavens declare the glory of God;
    the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
Day after day they pour forth speech;
    night after night they reveal knowledge.
They have no speech, they use no words;
    no sound is heard from them.
Yet their voice[b] goes out into all the earth,
    their words to the ends of the world.
In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun.
    It is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber,
    like a champion rejoicing to run his course.
It rises at one end of the heavens
    and makes its circuit to the other;
    nothing is deprived of its warmth.
Psalm 19:1-6 NIV

Grand Family Celebration Below

This year I turn 75. Our daughter turned 50. Our Grandgirl turned 20. Bob and I will also celebrate our 55the wedding anniversary! We are grateful to God for all of these many blessings.We have a celebration planned at a fancy restaurant downtown called Sotto’s. Below is a description from https://www.onlyinyourstate.com/food/ohio/underground-restaurant-oh

For authentic Italian cuisine in Ohio that’s straight from the Old World, you must be prepared to go on an adventure. In downtown Cincinnati, venture beneath the old cobblestone streets to Sotto, an underground restaurant in Ohio that’s easily one of the most unique and incredible places you’ll ever dine. The food is rustic yet refined, the vibe is somehow both familiar and uncanny, and the experience is wholly unrivaled.

Beneath the streets of Cincinnati, Ohio, a subterranean world of fine wine and Italian cuisine awaits. This is Sotto, an underground restaurant in Cincinnati, Ohio, that’s one of the most unique places to dine in the state. The basement that once housed legendary Cincinnati chef Nat Comisar’s first restaurant, La Normandie, is now home to a restaurant of equal notoriety. Sotto, for reference, is Italian for below.

If we get photos from our dinner I will try to post later this week!