Associates Retreat Weekend

When I went to the Associates retreat a over a week ago I was watching for my full stop. I consider the retreat a success when I finally put everything aside and come to a full stop before the Lord.

The material presented was not what I was expecting. Therefore, I was a little out of step.

The first day I was at the retreat house alone and totally enjoyed the deep silence. I provided my own meals and just got as quiet as I could, dropping cares and concerns as each hour slid past. I did some journaling, crochet, reading and just lots of rest.

Instead of the presentation being about centering prayer the couple, Peter and Nicole, presented us with ways to stay grounded even amidst our own worries, challenges and concerns. They even went so far as to ask us our concerns and then address those during the retreat! I found that both refreshing and kind.

The main words of emphasis were first, Awe or wonder, like Moses seeing the burning bush that did not burn up.

Awe, on the other hand, is the sense of wonder and humility inspired by the sublime or felt in the presence of mystery. … Awe, unlike fear, does not make us shrink from the awe-inspiring object, but, on the contrary, draws us near to it. This is why awe is comparable to both love and joy. God in Search of Man by Rabbi Abraham Heschel.

The next word was Grace. He likened it most to Exodus 34:6 when God’s presence passed before Moses. He reminded us that God physically turns towards us. God has preferences for those struggling with health issues, the marginalized, the ones society judges as “less than.” God is near though we at times do not recognize the Presence.

The final word was Hope. It was likened as a rope or lifeline to vulnerable people with promise of a future fulfillment. God’s outcome or plan is better than we can imagine. Remember that no matter what happens, God IS in control.

I connected with the wife of the retreat team. We both have had fibromyalgia for many years. We both struggle with the things fibro and aging bring our way. We laughed in the hallway about we should write a comedy book together about the challenges of fibro.

Nicole and me

Like most of my friends she is a bit shorter than me. That just tells me we fit together!

Calm App

Jeff, one of the guided meditation leaders on the app, recently noted there are 4 medicines of meditation

  1. Concentration – home base
  2. Clarity – notice what is actually happening, return to the present
  3. Letting things be exactly as they are – allow, deep medicine of equanimity
  4. Care – give self love and support

I was impressed that those are also what we try to get closer to by following the Jesus Way!

By concentration I think of as not being distracted by the things of the world. Focus upon God.

Clarity hoping to have the mind of Christ in this present moment. Here and now.

Letting things be exactly as they are – not trying to change things to suit ourselves and not whining and complaining about God not doing this MY way.

Care for ourself and others. Most of us have never learned consistent, healthy self care.

These four ‘medicines’ are taught by many different disciplines. I think they are important for us to remember and apply to our own lives.

These four merit occasional review to see how we are doing. Bob keeps reminders in his desk calendar on when to change the furnace filters, when to do various jobs throughout the year. Maybe we could each put these 4 in our calendars to review for ourselves once a month?!?

Concentration, Clarity, Let be, Care

Practicing the Way

John Mark Comer has me on a growth course. I am trying to do his ‘first thing in the morning exercise.’ I get my coffee and sit in my prayer chair at the bedroom window. Lately I have been reviewing the day before briefly with the Lord. Then I ask for a Psalm or Scripture to focus upon. I pray that passage to God. I talk with God about my life. I listen for his voice and “attempt to just let go.” Comer goes on to instruct, “But most of the time I just sit there. I breathe. And I look at what my eyes can’t see.” Lately, I have taken that looking to mean adoration.

My journal entries from this practice have blessed and carried me throughout the day. I have returned to wearing my beaded bracelet that reads, “Constantly renewed immediacy.” When it rattles or gets my attention I do my best to renew my immediate awareness of the Lord’s presence.

The time flies past when I practice this. And it also takes almost no time at all! I am amazed and delighted. I refer to the daily Lectionary readings to find the psalm(s) of the day. Sometimes I use those. Or one of the readings, or we just sit together. Here is one entry from last week.

25-10-9 Awaken me to You

Lord the day has begun as a computer mess. Like a bucket of messy spaghetti poured all over the floor. I choose to let that distraction go and pray for you to “hold my face in your hands” as Stephanie sings in “When You’re This Close.” My heart’s desire is to know you as this close. I am dizzy with new drug dose. Getting 2 immunizations today and needing your touch with those. Protect me my Lord from side effects and reactions I pray. I already have a clenched stomach since yesterday.

I look to you as my healer. Psalm for the daily office – Ps 131

O Lord, my heart is not lifted up, my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me.
But I have calmed and quiet my soul,
Like a child at it’s mother’s breast
Like a child that is quieted is my soul.

But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
like a weaned child with its mother;  my soul is like the weaned child that is with me.
O Israel hope in the Lord from this time forth and for evermore.



As I still my soul and make it quiet I realize it is drugged and bleary. Lord hold me close. Awaken me to your presence and your care. I want to be aware of you. Like Brother Lawrence I want to be aware of your closeness and touch. I want to hear your voice saying turn to the right or turn to the left. Isa 30:21

I wait and listen for you now. As I got still I heard,

This is just a season, an episode, like a cloud passing over the earth, an occurrence that will pass. Wait it out with expectations for great things, not doom. Look to me and be radiant.   (Ps 34)

You are a good, good Father. Even as I read out to Pastor Brad (at Bible study last night so he could write them on the white board) what the psalms were for today I did not catch 131 as one of my favorites. Even as I typed it and read it with bleary eyes it did not register until I had the computer read it back to me this morning, until you encouraged me with “wait it out with great expectations.” O Lord forgive me for gloom and help me to fix my eyes upon you with great expectations. The Insight meditation about letting go of control brought me ‘round to facing you fully and being held in your arms of love. I am going to be okay.

EXPECTATIONS FOR GREAT THINGS, NOT DOOM

7:14AM new bird call, still seems dark. Not new, Merlin Bird ID says little Carolina Wren singing praises.

So I went into that day trying to calm and quiet my soul. Waiting upon the Lord with expectations for great things. The next day I had to remember the message I heard from this day as the side effects of the immunizations kicked in. One evening Bob and I both felt just lousy and went to bed early, but we tried not to let that get us down. The immunization side effects have lessened now. The new drug dose, well, I still am not accustomed to it. Hopefully I will adjust soon!

Have you tried this method of starting your day? Have you written down the experience. I strongly encourage both. I never do this with the idea of sharing with anyone else. I do it for myself. Though sometimes, I am asked to let you glimpse what happens between my Lord and me. I hope those glimpses encourage you to try this sort of practice. God is no respecter of persons. He will help you and bless your attempts to practice his presence.

Writing for Another Book?

I was asked recently if I am writing to publish another book. I had scrapped the idea I thought was next. Then a new idea dropped into my heart. Actually it calls upon the old ideas I have been given. Thinking about collecting object lessons the Lord has given me over the years to keep me on the narrow path with him.

Here is one entry entitled “Why I Needed These Lessons.”

Here is one example. As I tried to learn how to follow Jesus and live for the Kingdom I began to realize one very large problem I would need to confront repeatedly was my tongue.

My words would often wound my children and my husband. “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” – Proverbs 18:21

“The tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.” – James 3:5

“He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.” – Proverbs 21:23

“Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” – Psalm 141:3

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” – Psalm 19:14

“If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.” – James 1:26

Oh, I had a tongue! And I had never learned much about how to tame it. I determined that with God’s help I would begin to learn the taming process. That process often required apologies when it got away from me and hurt those I lived with.

I learned that we could offer sacrifices to our God. I found a small stone that looked to me to be a perfect altar. I found a tiny plastic sword in a restaurant sandwich. Then I created a clay tongue and pierced it upon that stone. It sat for  many years in my kitchen windowsill as a reminder to me to give it over to God. I began to continuously ask for the power of the Holy One to come and tame that small part of my body that could so quickly run to evil and destruction when lashed upon others.

I used to teach the children that God created us to praise Him. I would then encourage them (and myself) to praise more and grumble less. Now I had to use that same lesson for my own tendency to use my tongue as a whip instead of an encouraging force.

 “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” James 1:19 Such a simple sentence to read and so very difficult to learn how to live! Slow to speak, slow to anger. I do not know which fought more to be in the forefront of my life, my Irish or German heritage.

The children are grown now and have children of their own. I am still wrestling with this tongue. I think I do better now in relation to them. I still have a challenge when I am tired or in pain. Then I tend to speak without thinking, and sadly, Bob usually takes the brunt of what I say. I have given him scars over the years and there are times when he thinks my tone of voice is meaning something I do not intend. God forgive me, I pray.

I think this discipline will continue until I take my last breath. There are times I think I should reconstruct the stone altar and the clay tongue. I am sure I have a plastic sword some place around here. Lord, deliver me from this tongue which I am so slow to bridle. Help me be quick to hear, slow to speak.

Maybe in this day and age I just need to get it literally pierced as a reminder?

Nah, not feeling it. Besides I would likely get it infected!

St. Tim’s Labyrinth

Our church has a labyrinth dedicated to Lisa Bernheisel. She was an Associate Priest from 2018 to her death in 2023. I never knew her, but I do love a nice labyrinth. I have walked the one at the Convent of the Transfiguration and at the Sisters of Charity in Delhi Township. Recently I arrived at the our church for a meeting. I was early and knew I could go explore the labyrinth which is down the hill from the parking lots.

The stairs were not as intimidating as they looked from above. I always approach a labyrinth with a listening heart. I began the slow approach to the center, around the path and back the other way, a step further out and follow the path until it no longer mattered where I was on the course. Progress is not the goal, but listening, yielding, quieting, centering in God.

I cannot tell you clearly now what my goal was that morning. I can relay that what I sought I found, that peace that passes all understanding, that knowing that I am known, and held, and loved. Towards the center of the circuitous route my eyes were opened to see a stone that looks like a cracked egg shell. I knew that was for me to leave at the center. When I arrived at the center I was delighted that the huge stone that marked center-point had a crack in it, like the rock that is higher than I, the cleft of the rock, the split or crack.

From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower from the enemy. I will abide in thy tabernacle for ever: I will trust in the covert of thy wings. Selah. Psalm 61:2-4 KJV

As does each of us, that morning I was longing to be known and heard, held and cared for. Here was the Spirit showing me that I am just that: seen, heard, held, cared for, and provided for. I picked up the ‘egg shell’ rock and placed it in the cleft.

At the center of Labyrinth
Resting in the cleft of the rock

I left the area knowing I had fulfilled what St. Augustine of Hippo is quoted as saying:

It is solved by walking.

Soon our church will celebrate the memory of Lisa Bernheisel. I feel as if I missed out by never having known her. Perhaps I can celebrate this life I never knew by serving to sweep the labyrinth. We will see the condition of my ankles and hands as I approach that idea! Arthur-itis is not my friend, but he keeps coming to my house.

Poetic Phrases

Walking Lucky around the pond one early morning these words filled my head as I saw the glistening surface of the water.

The pond seems to be sparkling,
Just tadpoles kissing the surface.
Father make me sparkle as I reach to kiss You, I pray.



Watching the autumn leaves out the window during prayer time I wrote:
The gentle breeze here is loosening the leaves.
They drift to the ground.
Reminds me to release burdens and

move into a new season.
We breathe in the new day, exhale the old burdens.


Have you turned random moments into prayer? I believe each of us can! What would this image have you pray?

The Burr Oak tree out our front window has delighted me this autumn. During the summer the leaves were so thick we could not see the little birdhouse hanging there. Then the tree began to drop leaves. The mowers have cleaned up fallen leaves from under it at least twice. Today it is green, though the leaves are more sparse than in the summer.

It is almost as if she declares, “Steady as she goes!” Let’s not have too much autumn too soon! Besides it is still running in the high 80s here. They promise us a change in temperatures this week. Once again, I am not holding my breath on that!

We can see the bird house clearly now. I do not think any birds were housed there this year. Seems I would have noticed with all the feeders and activity that occurs at times. As the Burr Oak continues to lose her leaves I will once again be reminded of the Brother Lawrence revelation about a tree in winter. Until then I am delighted by the lingering green.

Nothing gold can stay, Frost taught me
so the mighty sycamore tree
in form of tiny leaf
shows me how to change
from green to gold to brown
and be refreshed with drops of golden rain
as I rest upon the ground
be still my soul
~Molly Lin Dutina
(For photo above)

A Look

Many people are credited with the wisdom about prayer that says, “I look at Him. He looks at me, and we are happy.”

St. Therese of Lisieux is quoted as saying, “For me, prayer is a surge of the heart; it is a simple look turned toward heaven, it is a cry of recognition and of love, embracing both trial and joy.”

It is said about a farmer. It is said about an old man who went to church everyday and just seemed to be sitting in the pew. Finally the priest asked him what he was doing. He replied, “I look at Him. He looks at me, and we are happy.”

and we are happy

Have you tried this? Remember John Mark Comer wrote, “Because it’s here – looking at God, God looking at us, in love – that we are happy, that we are most free, content, at rest, at ease, grateful, joy filled and alive.”

I challenge you to try practicing this for a full week. Spend several minutes every day simply looking towards the King of kings and letting the King look at you. Be at peace and be happy there. Then, as our weatherman is fond of saying, “Rinse and repeat.” Do it tomorrow and the next day and the next. This too is a valuable form of prayer!

“In returning and rest I am saved, In quietness and trust is my strength.” Isaiah 30:15a

Reading a New to Me Book

I belong to a Monday night Zoom book discussion. The leader recently suggested we read Practicing the Way. Written by John Mark Comer, this book quotes some of my favorite authors: Brother Lawrence, Dallas Willard, Thomas Kelly, Madame Guyon and others.

Published January, 2024

There are YouTube video interviews, podcast interviews and many more resources. If you go to the website https://www.practicingtheway.org/ the resources for getting you started and keeping you inspired are numerous!

You might remember that the early followers of Jesus were said to be “The Way.” Jesus referred to himself as the way, the truth and the life. (John 14:6). In Acts the early followers are referred to as the Way. There are many references in the New Testament.

Quoting Karl Rahner, Comer writes,

“The Christian of the future will be a mystic or he will not exist at all.”

He goes on to say, “Mystics are just those who aren’t content to read books or hear sermons about this glorious reality; they want to experience this love and be transformed by it into a people of love. Because it’s here – looking at God, God looking at us, in love – that we are happy, that we are most free, content, at rest, at ease, grateful, joy filled and alive.”

When was the last time you spent time just BEING WITH God. Not asking for anything, but just spending time together? Thinking over this idea I realized that many of my retreat times with the Transfiguration Community have brought me to this place of resting in God, being with God, looking lovingly at God and knowing I am being seen by God.

Often when I go to the cemetery where Daughters go to die, the purpose is to remind myself that I am seen and heard and loved by God. I drop all the clutter that occludes this wisdom and rest there in God.

The best way for me to learn is taking notes and typing them up. I will be doing this the next few weeks. My goal is not to reproduce the book, but hopefully to interest you enough that you might explore it for yourself. At least you might glean some wisdom from the notes I share?

You have likely seen the bumper sticker that asks, “Do you follow Jesus this closely?” John Mark opens with sentiment that we might be “covered with the dust of our rabbi” meaning follow Jesus so closely that the dust he kicks up will be all over us. I think that is a great word picture! I pray it will be true of you, also. If I understand correctly he got the image from Rob Bell who got it from Hebraic teaching.

Not Certain of Article Origin Though Grateful For Our Long Marriage!

Bob found this and printed it out to read to me at our anniversary dinner. I was looking for the source online since it says a Harvard study, but it only seemed to be on Facebook and Instagram? I decided it was worth sharing regardless of who first wrote it! We found these to be true for our marriage also.

1. A Harvard study of 724 couples who made it past 30 years revealed something surprising: what kept them together wasn’t love, s*x, or kids. It was the ability to tolerate the same things in each other—over and over again. The ones who divorced thought, “This habit drives me crazy, but I can fix it.” The ones who stayed accepted, saying: “This is who they are. They’re not changing.”

2. Long marriages rarely resolve every conflict. That’s a myth. Couples who lasted 30+ years didn’t dig forever into every hurt feeling. They learned to let go. Not suppress—but release. “You forgot again,” “You said the wrong thing again”—short-term couples turn that into a fight. Long-term couples let it slide. Because they chose peace over being right.

3 . The real skill of lasting couples? Quick emotional recovery. It’s not about never fighting. It’s about bouncing back fast. He snapped two hours ago—and now he’s hugging her. No pride. No “you go first.” In marriages that last, the winner isn’t the one who’s right—it’s the one who comes back first.

4. The strongest couples weren’t bonded by “we have everything in common”—but by “we face the world together.” A shared struggle: poverty, toxic relatives, building a business, even a shared hatred for the system. Anything that puts you on the same team—us vs. the world—builds the bond. Couples without an external pressure? More likely to crack from the inside.

5. And the biggest truth? Almost every long-term marriage had a point where they were ready to call it quits. Almost all of them. But they didn’t. Not because they couldn’t—but because they gave it more time. The most common answer: “I decided to do nothing. And six months later, things shifted.” Turns out, most marriage crises die off—if you just stop feeding them.

Certainly worth consideration! We had a delightful celebration and spent some of the time looking back in wonder and another part of the time planning where we would still like to travel! Then this song from long, long ago popped into my head.

Did You Know This?

Our church bulletin says: “If you noticed a heavy emphasis on God’s creation in this liturgy, there’s a reason! From September 1 to October 4, Christians around the globe celebrate the Season of Creation.” Below is information copied from the online website https://seasonofcreation.org/about/

The Season of Creation is a time to renew our relationship with our Creator and all creation through celebration, conversion, and commitment together. During the Season of Creation, we join our sisters and brothers in the ecumenical family in prayer and action for our common home.

Ecumenical Patriarch Dimitrios I proclaimed 1 September as a day of prayer for creation for the Orthodox in 1989. In fact, the Orthodox church year starts on that day with a commemoration of how God created the world.

The World Council of Churches was instrumental in making the special time a season, extending the celebration from 1 September until 4 October.

Following the leadership of Ecumenical Patriarch Dimitrios I and the WCC, Christians worldwide have embraced the season as part of their annual calendar. Pope Francis established the World Day of Prayer for the Care of Creation in the Roman Catholic Church in 2015, and in 2019 started celebrating the Season of Creation as well.

In recent years, statements from religious leaders around the world have also encouraged the faithful to take time to care for creation during the month-long celebration.

The season starts 1 September, the Day of Prayer for Creation, and ends 4 October, the Feast of St. Francis of Assisi, the patron saint of ecology beloved by many Christian denominations.

Throughout the month-long celebration, the world’s 2.2 billion Christians come together to care for our common home.

I like the idea of being united with other churches around the world for this event. As I look out the office window and see our burr oak tree changing her gown from green to yellow to brown, I am reminded that none of us inhabit this earth alone. We need to care for it in community and with future generations in mind. May God lead us in paths of righteousness regarding this gift of the earth we live upon and the air we breathe.