In Numbers 13 Moses sends men from each tribe into the land of the Negev to Canaan to explore and bring back a report.
When Moses sent them to explore Canaan, he said, “Go up through the Negev and on into the hill country. 18 See what the land is like and whether the people who live there are strong or weak, few or many. 19 What kind of land do they live in? Is it good or bad? What kind of towns do they live in? Are they unwalled or fortified? 20 How is the soil? Is it fertile or poor? Are there trees in it or not? Do your best to bring back some of the fruit of the land.” (It was the season for the first ripe grapes.) Numbers 13: 17-20 NIV
They brought back a bunch of grapes to show the fruit of the land. It was so enormous, it took two men to carry it, slung over a pole between them. Most of the spies gave a negative, fearful report. (See Numbers 13:28-29, 31-33)
We adopted a woman we called our Jewish Grandmother. Her name was Cloty Gutman. She was born on 16 March 1904, in Germany. She died on 15 May 2002, in Cincinnati, at the age of 98. She was a sweet, sweet lady. Bob adjusted her hallway clock once and she was delighted to have it run and ring again! The set of end tables in our home came from her as did this lovely cluster of grapes.
Yes, they represent the Numbers 13 spies that Moses sent out, but it also represents the ones who gave a positive report. Joshua and Caleb told the people they could do what God asked with His help. The people were fearful and brought trouble upon themselves by refusing to believe the positive report.
6Joshua son of Nun and Caleb son of Jephunneh, who were among those who had explored the land, tore their clothes 7 and said to the entire Israelite assembly, “The land we passed through and explored is exceedingly good. 8 If the Lord is pleased with us, he will lead us into that land, a land flowing with milk and honey, and will give it to us. 9 Only do not rebel against the Lord. And do not be afraid of the people of the land, because we will devour them. Their protection is gone, but the Lord is with us. Do not be afraid of them.” Numbers 14:6-9
We, too, have countless opportunities to believe a negative report and not rely upon what God says to us. Joshua and Caleb were eventually rewarded for their faith. Before that, this conversation between the Lord and Moses ensued.
But the whole assembly talked about stoning them. Then the glory of the Lord appeared at the tent of meeting to all the Israelites. 11 The Lord said to Moses, “How long will these people treat me with contempt? How long will they refuse to believe in me, in spite of all the signs I have performed among them?12 I will strike them down with a plague and destroy them, but I will make you into a nation greater and stronger than they.” Numbers 14:10-12
The grapes remind me to hold fast to my faith and the things the Lord has said to me. Are we treating the Lord with contempt? Do we refuse to believe in the Holy One in spite of all the signs He has performed among us? Lord, I pray it is not so.
Moses pleaded with the Lord on behalf of the people.
13 Moses said to the Lord, “Then the Egyptians will hear about it! By your power you brought these people up from among them. 14 And they will tell the inhabitants of this land about it. They have already heard that you, Lord, are with these people and that you, Lord, have been seen face to face, that your cloud stays over them, and that you go before them in a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. 15 If you put all these people to death, leaving none alive, the nations who have heard this report about you will say, 16 ‘The Lord was not able to bring these people into the land he promised them on oath, so he slaughtered them in the wilderness.’
17 “Now may the Lord’s strength be displayed, just as you have declared: 18 ‘The Lord is slow to anger, abounding in love and forgiving sin and rebellion. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation.’ 19 In accordance with your great love, forgive the sin of these people, just as you have pardoned them from the time they left Egypt until now.”
20 The Lord replied, “I have forgiven them, as you asked. 21 Nevertheless, as surely as I live and as surely as the glory of the Lord fills the whole earth, 22 not one of those who saw my glory and the signs I performed in Egypt and in the wilderness but who disobeyed me and tested me ten times— 23 not one of them will ever see the land I promised on oath to their ancestors. No one who has treated me with contempt will ever see it. 24 But because my servant Caleb has a different spirit and follows me wholeheartedly, I will bring him into the land he went to, and his descendants will inherit it.25 Since the Amalekites and the Canaanites are living in the valleys, turn back tomorrow and set out toward the desert along the route to the Red Sea.”
Caleb had a different spirit. Caleb followed the Lord wholeheartedly. How is your spirit? Have you decided to follow wholeheartedly or halfheartedly? It is worthwhile to examine yourself in the presence of the Lord and answer this question. I pray you will dedicate yourself with every part of your being to the work of God’s call upon your life.
At this point the people who were following Moses were told that they would wander in the wilderness for 40 years, one year for each of the 40 days they explored.
Not one of them will ever see the land I promised on oath to their ancestors. No one who has treated me with contempt will ever see it.Not one of you will enter the land I swore with uplifted hand to make your home, except Caleb son of Jephunneh and Joshua son of Nun. Numbers 14:23, 30
Convinced and convicted the group decided to then obey the first command of the Lord and though Moses warned them, they were soundly defeated because the Lord did not go with them. Have we heard the voice of commandment and ignored it? Have we presumed we could go back and be obedient to the first instruction even though other instructions have been given?
The path of obedience that says ‘do the last thing you were instructed’ is true. We are to follow and obey each step of the way, in the order things are given. We are not to pick and choose our obedience in our own chosen order.
I believe I am to follow through on “doing something” with the writings from this blog and stories and poetry. I will continue to pursue that in spite of physical challenges and limitations. God help me and guide me, I pray!
May the grapes of faith, the giant cluster from the Valley of Eshkol, lead you in your quest of obedience. May you bring delight to your Father as you walk out your faith.
There are many people who shun written prayers and just as many others who rely upon them. I actually do both. Do not even know now where I recently came across this prayer. John Wesley interests me because before I was born my Grandfather Snapp was a Methodist minister. He died before I arrived. It is said that those who knew Allen Ross Snapp (1876 to 1946) loved him. I have also heard he preached hell fire and brimstone. Wish I could find a record of one of his sermons. I would love to have known him.
My mother, Her father, Allen Ross, back row 2 of her 5 brothers, Frank Snapp and Howard Snapp
When I was looking for a church to get baptized in at age 15 I visited quite a few. The Methodist one I visited did not do a lot for my young questing heart. Later, we did join Clough United Methodist where our young baby son was dedicated to the Lord.
This prayer, often used in January services among the Methodists, spoke to my heart. Surely Grandpa Snapp used it in his services, too! I am certain you will hear refrains of Paul’s letters in it. I sincerely hope you can read, pray and recite it with a genuine heart of dedication to Christ.
I am no longer my own by Yours. Put me to what You will, rank me with whom You will. Put me to doing, put me to suffering. Let me be employed for You or laid aside for You, exalted for You or brought low for You. Let me be full, let me be empty. Let me have all things, let me have nothing. I freely and wholeheartedly yield all things to Your pleasure and disposal. And now, glorious and blessed God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, You are mine and I am Yours. So be it. And the covenant now made on earth, let it be ratified in heaven. Amen.
And set to music
I pray you can give yourself to the Lord, if not today, then very soon. One church challenged their members to read this daily for 100 days. You might want to try that!
These are questions we ought to be asking ourselves in every conversation. I was reminded recently of a situation in my life where someone did not filter her comments in this way. I was deeply wounded by her comments.
As you may know my husband almost died in 2019. In 2021 we began to build a new house, smaller house, no steps. etc.. Prior to the house being finished I was gripped by a fear that went something like, “What if he dies before we move in?” I was involved in a weekly prayer group at our church. I asked my prayer friends to pray for me as I was having difficulty shaking off that fear. Time went on. Bob continued to gain strength and we moved into the house.
A couple months later we held an open house for others to come and see where we live now. One of the women from that prayer group took me aside and said, “See! Nothing happened.” The comment felt demeaning and condescending. Was it true? Yes. Was it kind? Not in my ears. Was it necessary? Not in the least.
Not everything we think needs to be said aloud to others.
With chronic illness you quickly learn that those who do not suffer from a chronic illness likely have no inkling what you go through. With the near death of a spouse you also learn that others who have not experienced it likely have no inkling what you go through.
I thank the Lord everyday that my husband lived through that awful illness and recovered so well. I am so grateful for those who prayed for me to stay strong as I helped nurse him back to a full life and was enabled with the help of their prayers to release my fears to the Lord God Almighty.
This incident marred any fondness in my heart for that lady. She has good points. I benefited some from knowing her. I just cannot bring myself to trust her, at least with my innermost needs.
I believe we need to take care with our words. This applies to me, also. James warns us in Chapter 1
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry James 1:19 NIV
When I was a child we lived many of my early years in a four-family apartment building. My mother owned it and we rented out the other 3 apartments. Each unit was 2 bedroom, 1 bath. We had a paved driveway to play on. It ran along the side of the building, (a great place to play with a pinky ball or hopscotch) and a lower parking lot where we could ride bikes. The other side of the building had a strip of garden where I could find bugs and honeybees to experiment upon.
One of my favorite places was the closet under the stairs. In the basement, which at times flooded, there was a closet where my parents stored paint for the apartments. Due to the flooding there was a fragrance of dried mud on concrete. This closet had a door that could be locked from the inside and one light bulb. I would often go in there to hide from my family. I would turn over a paint can to use for a stool. Eventually I began swiping birthday cake candles to use in there so I could turn off the light. I had no idea I could have set the place ablaze with candles and paint cans!
Over time I began using thumbtacks to put up pictures of Jesus on the wall studs from various family funerals. The only person I showed the place to was my best friend Dana. Other than that it was private.
Recently during a Soul Collage retreat I was reminded of that secret place. Looking back I realized it was my early place of refuge and inspiration. For this collage, I tried to find a photo of a paint can. The only one I found was silly with polka dots on top of red paint.
The images each represent something to me. Clockwise from 11:00, they represent the Holy Spirit by the figure in the white cowl. The stained glass the church. The paper with words and the pencil, writing to His glory. The stream in the center is the Living Water. The candle for the basement closet with the paint can. The open hand, yielding to the Trinity. In one form or another all these things occurred or began in the secret worship place.
What is the foundation of your faith? Did you have spiritual formation in a secret place?
I once read The Secret Garden by Burnett. This quote sums up these ideas for me.
“Where you tend a rose my lad, a thistle cannot grow.” ― Francis Hodgson Burnett
I do not think Father God waits until the last moment to call and transform us. I believe He begins early in our life and continues until we answer the call to come to Him. Jesus said that in the book of John.
No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day. John 6:44 NIV
So much of our faith is formed and prospers in private.
Return to the Lord and find your resting place in Him. Surrender to the call upon your soul and spirit.
Mom had bunches of sayings. Likely Your Mom did, too?
“You know it’s so!” does not even have an image for this day and age!
“Don’t chase the pain.” Take your post-op pain medications on a schedule. Do not wait until the pain overwhelms you.
“Let’s get this show on the road.” The Random House Dictionary of America’s Popular Proverbs and Sayings says this expression originated in the world of traveling theater productions and was in common use by the 1930s, having originated around 1910.
Remember when television shows would admonish you, “Don’t touch that dial!” Now we don’t even have dials any more with all the remote controls and now even voice controls!
“Nothing ever has to be true for people to believe it.” Sadly, America does not “run on Dunkin” as much as this saying.
“She always said you might as well hope for the best as go around fearing the worst.” Hillary Greene
Once I was riding a public bus and asked an older man how he was doing today. His response, “Okay. Can’t complain. Complain’ never did any good any way!”
Hope I made you think about sayings you know and perhaps smile once or twice?
I have no memory of the doctor or a tech taking me out of the cast. I do not remember any kind of physical therapy. I do remember the doctor talking with my mother about fears that one leg would be shorter than the other.
After the hospital I had anxiety about doctors and needles. My parents could not tell me about a doctor’s appointment the night before as I would get almost hysterical. Eventually I outgrew the fear. Though to this day I have to psych myself up a bit when there is a needle involved in medical treatment.
Years later while on a retreat I learned that the nuns serving at Good Samaritan Hospital were from the Sisters of Charity convent in Delhi. As an adult I thanked them for comforting this child.
About 1954Current day
My legs grew to the same length. Dr. McMath did a grand job caring for me. Sadly, my father died of heart disease when I was eleven years old. There were no treatments for heart disease in 1961. I never knew him as a man, just Daddy.
I never tried Double Dutch jump rope again. In fact, I have never been inclined to athletic activity. Hated gym class in elementary school. The Double Dutch jump rope incident stole all my confidence. My sister and I were most often unsupervised in our play activities. One day we were playing the garage and found my dad’s ladders for painting. I developed a fear of heights after a ladder slid down a wall while I was sitting on it. Landed hard on the concrete floor. Amazing now that I did not break my fingers where I was holding on. No one had ever had a need to teach me then that a ladder must be anchored before being used.
I find it amazing how our childhood experiences shape us as people. I married a kind man who became a medical technologist. This is the person in a hospital laboratory who can draw your blood and test any fluid that you can put out. In the beginning of our marriage, we were once sitting in a movie theater, and he was feeling the vein in my elbow. Freaked me out. He explained the need to practice. I calmed down. Now I am faced with needles daily: lancets, insulin needles, wearing a continuous glucose monitor, monthly drug injections.
After playing with the ladders, I still dislike heights. When we took our children to the CN Tower in Toronto we went to the observation deck. It is 113 floors above the ground and has a glass floor. I was holding on to the wall around the elevator as I walked around the observation deck. The children were laughing at me. As I walked, I came upon a woman crawling on the floor. Guess it could have been worse! Nope. Heights are not my thing!
From childhood trauma to needle fears then married to a Lab man, (They don’t call them blood suckers for nothing!). From Christian educated by the babysitter and dropped off at church to a Christ seeker who became the only Episcopalian in the family of origin. From fear of heights to challenging the fear for the sake of the children and a family vacation memory.
Our childhood impacts us, but not always for the good. Imprints formed during childhood are not washed away by time. Seventy years later they can still affect how I think and feel.
I have been asked to explore some other methods of telling my story besides the blog and poetry. So I have attempted to put a few memories down on paper. This will be a 2 part read since it has many more words than most blog posts ever attempt.
At age three I broke my thigh playing with my sister and her older friends in a neighbor’s driveway. They were doing Double Dutch jump rope where they swing two ropes simultaneously in opposite directions and you jump in on the side of one of the rope turners. (See photo above.) The girls let me try. I broke my leg. Obviously, way too complicated a sport for a 3-year-old. Someone ran to my house and told mom. She came to get me.
We rode to Good Samaritan hospital from Loveland to Clifton in the car. I was in the back seat. I only remember someone lifted me into the back seat. There were no freeways then. No idea how long it took us to get to Good Samaritan. I was taken to that hospital because my Dad was already admitted there with a heart attack.
The hospital doctors decided to put my leg in traction for six weeks to heal. I suppose they numbed my leg or more likely put me to sleep when they set my leg? I have no memory of that. When they put me in traction, I do remember being furious that they put me in diapers. I was so insulted. I was certainly fully potty trained! It was hot and there was no air conditioning. My long dark hair was cut off in a short choppy bob. Below is a photo of me in traction, hair cut short and sweating. Once while I was asleep, the staff brought my meal. When I awoke the milk was no longer cold. I loved cold milk. My mother obtained a glass of ice and poured my milk over it. I was so angry. I had never had milk like that. Could be I was a 3-year-old brat? Or simply confused and frustrated at my new situation.
One day during my stay they rolled my bed into the room where my dad was a patient. It was such an unusual situation for a young child. I do remember he talked with me and our hands touching.
Someone came to visit and brought me a white stuffed dog that I named Casey. He had a metal nose (which at age 73 I still have). His ears seemed to be made from real fur, sort of like a curly tanned hide. The rest of him was a stuffed white dog shape. Someone else brought me Brach’s cream filled Royal caramel rolls in a metal can. To this day I use that can for candy. Once I saw the same can used as a prop in a movie!
I do not remember there being a television in my room. I am certain televisions were not standard equipment in 1954. Certainly, no computer tablet to play upon. I might have tried to color, but lying down that would have been difficult! Hopefully someone read me stories.
After six weeks, my leg was put in a cast. I do remember being alone with the Sisters of Charity when they decided it was time to cast my leg. Somewhere to my side, across the room, there was a sink. Men in white coats came towards me with large white steaming sheets. I had no idea what those were. I was so frightened. Those men began to wrap my leg in the warm plaster preparation. The nuns comforted me. I left that hospital wanting to be a nun. I have no idea where my mother was during the casting. Perhaps she was not allowed in the treatment room? Maybe she was with my dad in the cardiac unit? All I do know is that the nuns (in full habits) comforted me. I went home in the cast.
I left the hospital wanting to be a nun. My parents bought me a Nun doll for Christmas. I have her tiny rosary in my keepsake cabinet. When I chose to be baptized my mother forbid me to become a Roman Catholic. She said my grandfather, a Methodist minister, would roll over in his grave. I eventually joined the Episcopal church. They came closest to what I felt was true worship. Also, as close as you can get to being a Catholic but without the Pope and such strong emphasis on Mary.
Doll sized rosary on tiny altar to remind me to make a of sacrifice of praise to the Lord our God
It must have been difficult for my mom to care for me, especially while my dad recovered from yet another heart attack. I do know we had a babysitter named Myrtle. Towards the end of her life, she wanted to see my sister and me one more time. She visited us because she was dying of cancer. She gave my sister and me a tiny white New Testament and signed it “Love, Myrt and Gerald.” My first and at times best New Testament! I still have it and use it occasionally.
I have no memory of the doctor or a tech taking me out of the cast. I do not remember any kind of physical therapy. I do remember the doctor talking with my mother about fears that one leg would be shorter than the other.
One week Lectio 360 was focusing on different ways of knowing the Lord. Below are their words.
I find this is my heart’s cry as I try to write this blog
What I know of God will only be a fraction of who the Holy Trinity is. Oh that I might make clear the little part I have understood during my life!
This is what the Lord says:
“Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches, 24 but let the one who boasts boast about this: that they have the understanding to know me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,” declares the Lord. Jeremiah 9:23-24 NIV
Father, I pray I am using my understanding to know You and the creation You have put before us for discovery of You and delight in Your creation. I pray You will continue to unfold the Scriptures for me. Holy Spirit continue to show and teach me the ways of the Almighty One.
May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. Galatians 6:14 NIV
When Bob lay dying 6 years ago I realized that no one could promise me he would survive the illness or that we would continue our marriage of so many years in the way we had become accustomed. When a woman hits a crossroads like that, for this woman at least, I had to realize that I must crucify my hopes and dreams and let the Lord Almighty have full control.
“I began to approach the situation with stillness but no presumption that I in any way knew the ultimate result. Though I was often unconsciously holding my breath, there was a stillness in me. The stillness came with a peace that I recognized as coming from God. Reporting the day’s events and blood work results to prayer partners via email, without forecasting the next step or event or outcome was about my only “productive” output.
“The stillness was related to Habakkuk 2:20 NRSV “But the Lord is in His holy temple; let all the earth keep silence before Him!” Another prayer that surfaced from the BCP “We do not presume to come to this Thy table trusting in our own righteousness but in Thy manifold and great mercies. We are not worthy so much as to gather up the crumbs under Thy table. But Thou are the same Lord whose property is always to have mercy.” (Holy Eucharist 1 P. 337)
“Part of my struggle was yielding to the facts and in stillness letting my wishes die, placing my hope in the plans of the Almighty. I could not see the outcome at all, but I trusted His goodness and His love for both myself and my family. I learned that crucified you must hold perfectly still. Ephesians 3:16 helped me to trust more. “I pray that, according to the riches of His glory, He may grant that you may be strengthened in your inner being with power through His Spirit, and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, as you are being rooted and grounded in love.” I prayed for Bob and our children to be strengthened. I prayed for myself to be strengthened by His Spirit with power penetrating to my innermost being. Yes, crucified you must hold perfectly still. I was not “going” anywhere.
I had to hold still, let go of my wishes and dreams. Let God unfold the future before me. True surrender.
I am His child.
I have only learned a small fraction about Who my God is. I barely know the Trinity. I am willing to continue to learn. In many ways, I know that the lessons from the not too distant past will carry me to the very end of my days. May Christ be glorified in and through me, I pray.
Just before I left for retreat I decided to pick up the knitting I learned a few years ago. I have crocheted for over 50 years. About the time Bob retired I decided I should learn to knit. After all those years of crochet I was able to knit the continental method, but never very well. So I got out my needles and set to work. First thing you need to do to knit is called casting on. I could not remember how to do that! I watched YouTube videos. Did not get it. Asked at the Journey Together In Stitches group at Transfiguration Convent and voila! It came back to me with a little help from my friend Bonnie! “Slingshot method”
It can be difficult on a week-long silent retreat to stay quiet and listen. I know the Lord has spoken to me before while crocheting and doing hand work. I wondered how to keep my brain from taking off down unnecessary thought paths.
This is the cover of the first copy I purchased.
About 1997 I had read a book entitled Hinds Feet on High Places, A Christian Allegory.
The book impacted me so much that I gave away every paperback copy that I ever purchased. I finally found it in hardback and made my self buy it so I would keep it. The book is so chock full of Scripture and I delighted in finding the references to each one that I recognized. I wrote my notes in the front of the book. A few years after that a group of us were interested in the story as a study. There was no such thing in the Christian resource world. So I wrote a group study based on the text.
On retreat, I went to my computer link to the library wondering, hoping, they might have an audio version of the book? They not only had one, it was available! The recording is about 5-1/2 hours long. I spent some of the retreat knitting and listening to this wonderful book.
I remembered when I first read it and the Lord was teaching me some of the lessons He gave to Much-Afraid. Her first letter of the alphabet “Acceptance with Joy.”
Where the water drops fell one by one, there grew the little golden flower, though where the seed had come from, Much-Afraid could not imagine, for there were no birds anywhere and no other growing things….She asked, “What is your name, little flower, for I never saw one like you before.” The tiny plant answered at once in a tone as golden as itself, “Behold me! My name is Acceptance-with-Joy.” At that Much-Afraid decided, “I, too, will look up in to His face and say, “Behold me! I am thy little handmaiden Acceptance-with-Joy.” from H. Hurnard’s book Hinds Feet on High Places.
Can you declare the same thing to Christ? Regardless of what comes your way or how your body chooses to age, can you declare to the Almighty, “Behold me, Acceptance-with Joy?”
I have mastered casting on (for now). I have knit a couple small washcloths. I have remembered that this is what the Good Shepherd asks of me, that I follow Him with Acceptance and Joy. Are you able to pick up this challenge?
Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? 26 Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
27 “Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 28 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith! 29 And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. 30 For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. 31 But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. Luke 12:25-31 NIV
Sitting in my prayer chair, waking up the morning of May 31st, I heard this:
Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. Isaiah 46:4 NIV
The Message of the same verse reads:
“Listen to me, family of Jacob, everyone that’s left of the family of Israel. I’ve been carrying you on my back from the day you were born, And I’ll keep on carrying you when you’re old. I’ll be there, bearing you when you’re old and gray. I’ve done it and will keep on doing it, carrying you on my back, saving you.”
Brings to mind the image of refugees or flood victims fleeing and carrying old people on their backs. Proud Americans do not like to think this image is about them, yet we all need God to carry us, regardless of age.
Listening to Lectio 360 the same day they related a story about a man whose wife battled chronic illness for 20 years. People WANT someone to blame. Many years ago when I sought prayer for strength and courage to cope with my chronic illness a “charismatic” preacher said to me, “I thought you knew better than that,” as if I should never be ill. Shame is not helpful in those situations! God TOLD me He would be with me in the fibromyalgia.
Should I push God aside and shout, “but You have to heal me! You promised if I did such and so I would be healed.” We tend to see others who have physical afflictions as if they are less than ourselves, as if they are responsible for the failing of their body. What a crock of hooey! Those of us who suffer need the courage of the Lion of Judah, the strength of the Risen Christ to help in times of need.
Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16 NRSV
Even Bob was struck in Lectio by the story of the woman with chronic illness. He wanted to be certain I listened on that day, and I had. The story is like what I was told … there is unresolved anger in your past, that is why you are ill. Let us just pray over you …sleep on a bed of magnets to be healed …drink this particular juice made from an exotic fruit … its all in your head. (Yep! those are actual things I was told!)
And to the remark about it all being in my head I replied, “Yes, in my head, my elbows, shoulders, hips. You name it I hurt there or I did last week or will next week.”
Fibro caused me to live in a high state of denial. That same logic does not work with diabetes. I AM angry at having diabetes, but I understand some of the disease in under my control, though there are many factors that are not. The Continuous Glucose Monitor no longer lets me live in that state of denial regarding diabetes. I must confess I am shocked at the effect certain foods have upon me. I must limit or eliminate those from my consumption.
In my nick knack collection I have a tiny brass chair that used to be in the windowsill. It reminds me that Christ is in our midst, ‘the unseen guest at every meal’. In the photo below it fell forward in the glass fronted case. At first I wondered how long it had been like that? Then I wondered if I could right it without dropping it behind the bookcase that rests below the display? Then I rejoiced that AGAIN the Lord has gotten my attention. I set a place for Him at the table of my life.
Lord God, Ruler of the Universe, give me eyes to see and ears to hear that I might proclaim Your glory.
Treasures in Plain Sight, A Christian Blog 