I try to write every Monday and Tuesday mornings to post on this blog throughout the week. Many times during the week I will rough draft an idea to work on. Not this week!
I spent Thursday working with my dear friend Dana to begin printing, punching and assembling the poetry books. That took much longer than anticipated. We had completed none of them. Many were in various stages of production. She met me Friday morning with some completed books. I went to the Convent for the weekend retreat delighted to have a few copies in hand. One gal lives in Chattanooga and I knew I would see her at the retreat. I wanted to get a copy to her so we would not have to ship it!
The editor for the book about prayer gave me information about next steps towards getting that ready for publication. I just never quite realized all the work that occurred after the actual writing! I spent part of the weekend trying to plan the order the 31 selections should appear in the finished book. She also wants an “About the author” page and a Preface. I had a rough draft for the Preface, but hesitated on “About the author.” Bob agreed to do the first draft for me and then we can work on it together. I need to decided if the photos I chose can be printed in black and white. The color photos will make the book cost more. Aye yai yai!
And I just needed to get still and quiet. I had asked the Lord on Thursday to help me direct my heart and mind to Him over the weekend. (The editor taught me that capitalizing pronouns that refer to God is not correct, but I have always done it as a way to show respect! I have to decide if I want her to change that or not.) I realized with all these decision and things looming I needed help. The Lord referred me back to Psalm 131 again. I was instructed to write part of it out in longhand, I do not do that much anymore because arthritis has ruined my handwriting.
My heart is not proud, Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. 2 But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content. Psalm 131: 1-2 NIV
I am not to think about things I cannot control. I am not to think about things too wonderful for me. (Thus I hired an Editor!) It is up to me to calm and quiet myself. So I set about doing just that. You might want to copy those two verses and ponder how they apply to your life right now!
Before I left on Friday morning another Psalm came to mind. Years ago I wrote in my bible “Vulnerability, Untd.” next to Psalm 34.
I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth. 2 My soul makes its boast in the Lord; let the afflicted hear and be glad. 3 O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together!
4 I sought the Lord, and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. 5 Look to him, and be radiant; so your faces shall never be ashamed. 6 This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles.
It is hard with this Psalm to know when and where to stop when choosing a selection! I made it my business to spend the weekend trying to bless the Lord at all times and continually have His praise in my mouth. It can be powerful to turn to this practice and turn off worries and distractions.
Walking I saw places of such quiet!
Quiet flowers, I just love the sun through the purple petalsQuiet Dogwood
I have promised only a few people a printed copy of the poetry. I realized while in retreat that I can offer anyone who wants it an electronic copy! If they want, they may print it out for themselves, or simply print the selections they desire. What a relief! Bob continues to wonder if I should have planned to have the poetry printed through Amazon Direct Publishing. The way we are doing it right now the material remains free to others though costly to produce.
I was told by reputable sources instead of giving the poetry away for free I should ask for a charitable donation. I am doing that through the West Clermont local school district. The donations will go towards the Paid Student Lunch Charges. Many families today have to decide whether to pay for their power bill or pay the school for the lunch program. There are thousands of dollars of lunch debt in almost every school district. I think the children should receive food. With all of the government cutbacks there is likely to be even more debt. I am asking that donations be sent to the local elementary school down the street.
You can likely tell by now that my brain is spinning in many directions! I was able to get still on retreat. I did get some solid rest, though it is almost a memory today! The 31 book selections are arranged in an order to be reviewed with Bob. These two projects have demanded that I am participating constantly in vulnerability, unlimited with the Lord.
Monday was busy, busy with a funeral in the morning, followed by lunch celebrating mother’s day with our son and grandson and then back to Dana’s house to work on the poetry books. I write this on a gloomy Tuesday morning with fondness that you continue to read and follow my writing.
May the Lord bless you with a renewed sense of His Presence and love for you! Trust Him with your everything.
As a child visiting the Natural History Museum I purchased a tiny chip of blue goldstone. I was enchanted, taken by fascination. What was this thing?
The experts say, “Blue Goldstone is not a precious stone, it is artificial glass. It is made of glass and copper and its inner glow is very beautiful and popular for accessories. It receives a lot of support from people even though it is an artificial gemstone. It is usually used in jewelry pieces. Goldstone is a stone that can come in several colors, but Blue Goldstone is the favorite.
“This stone comes from medieval times. At that time, a monk was making a glass. And he poured copper chips into the glass by accident. He thought it was a great failure but he made a very beautiful glass. Therefore, this technique continued to be practiced for years until now.
Here is the piece that now sits on my desk, no longer just a tiny chip. We bought it some place in our travels.
The photo does not do it justice. The blue is actually deeper, almost black. The gold flecks remind me me of constellations and far flung stars. Guess you might need to shop for a piece of your own to get the true impact.
Then I came across the following quote from Michelle Obama. Can you imagine the wealth of wisdom she has instilled in her daughters?
The unknown is where possibility glitters. – Michelle Obama
And seeing the glitter is risky, but necessary. Can you discern the glittering possibilities within yourself? Have you dared to even think about that? Would you risk a glance? Another quote.
Risk itself is a process of constant unfolding. And taking risks is the process of peeling back the layers of what you are and who you want to be.
PHOEBE ENG
You are full of glittering possibility. Are you willing to peel back the layers of yourself and expose that glorious creation within and around yourself? This is nothing you accomplished on your own. I believe this is what God placed in you when life was breathed into your being. Your work is “the process of peeling back the layers,” discovering the call of the Holy upon your life. Then walking towards that calling with courage and grace.
Oh Lord, help us to quicken our steps to Your calling and work in obedience to Your Spirit. May Your be glorified in all we do and say, write and print. Amen.
Some days I wonder do my dreams and worries inform my first thoughts upon waking up or is it all under control of the Holy Spirit?
For a few days I have recurrent thoughts about the cardiac surgery they say I will need sooner rather than later. Part of me wonders what if I do not have the surgery? All of that runs underneath the day to day thoughts.
My daughter’s mother-in-law died yesterday. Evidently she was sitting on the side of her bed, getting dressed. It appears she had a stroke? She fell backwards and just lay down on the bed. She was a catholic woman who lost her husband and her mother. While hospitalized a few years ago she was tested and doctors decided she had lost some of her executive reasoning abilities. She had to move into a retirement community. She did not like it very much, but there were so many things she did not like very much! May she rest in peace.
My husband, Bob, had recently taken her to Frisch’s for lunch, always her first choice. She had just seen her family for a celebration Easter weekend.
What does all this have to do with me? Margie was ten years older than I am. My death became a poignant fact with the aneurysm diagnosis last January. No one know when the Lord will call us home. Only God knows the day and the hour.
This morning when I awoke some of the lines from this song were rolling through my brain. Took me a while to wake up and capture it. This is a Catholic hymn based on several Scriptures. I chose to share this version because it provides the lyrics.
I have listened to the song several times this morning. I would be lying if I said that took care of any disquiet I have from the aneurysm I carry with me. NOT. The next scan will be a CT scan in August to determine if the thing has grown. Cardiologist will determine when to refer me to cardiac surgeon. Until then, as I do daily, I must trust in the Lord and walk in obedience to all I am asked to do for the Holy Trinity.
Bob jokes around about cremation which we both have chosen instead of burial. The funeral home down the street has been busy for the last year building a huge garage looking thing on the adjoining lot which they purchased. I called them this morning and yes, indeed, it is going to be a crematorium. The dictionary is so uncouth.
Crematorium: A furnace or establishment for the incineration of corpses.
He cracks a joke every single time we drive past, which is practically daily! I wonder if he thinks the same things while he is alone in the car? I told him he needs to stop or I will have weird flashbacks if he dies first. Yep, at our age these discussions occur with some regularity!
I chose cremation because I do not want any chance that I will get this body back in the afterlife. God knows the wishes of my soul. I told the funeral director I want the box the casket comes in, not some expensive casket.
I write all this as my daughter and her family go to the funeral home today to make arrangements. I have no idea if Margie had pre-planned her funeral. I hope so. No one wants to make all of those decisions while grappling with grief. Again, may she rest in peace.
Often we believers wonder if God is really present with us. Our musing is usually caused by not being able to FEEL His presence. This is especially true when we are ill. {I continue to ponder how strong the physical being is at blocking my faith and the truths that I know are always true regardless of how I feel. And I continue to fight to uphold the truth regardless of my feelings.}
Last week the terrible cold that Bob and I have been suffering through finally drove us to test for Covid. We had done every single thing we could imagine to fight this thing off and we were getting no better. No one was more stunned than Bob Dutina when the tests proved positive for Covid. We finally had contracted it. No fever, just a multitude of awful other symptoms. No wonder we could not just shake it off like a bad cold! We discovered we had the virus too late for antiviral medications.
In the Post Easter readings more than once this week I have come across the story from the “Walk to Emmaus” Luke 24: 13-35. Two disciples are walking along the way and talking about the arrest, beating, and crucifixion of Jesus. They are amazed at the stunning news the women brought that they saw the Risen Jesus – alive and walking the earth.
A stranger joined them on their walk and asked what they were talking about. They said he must be the only one coming from Jerusalem who did not know what had happened. They proceeded to fill Him in. It is only much later in the story that they realize they are with Jesus. They did not recognize Him. He was walking with them and listening to them tell His story.
Somehow I picture Jesus not in all white robes, but dressed just like the walking pilgrims.
Since that happened to two disciples who knew all about His life, death and resurrection, do you think perhaps it could happen to you? When have you wondered where is God? Does God not care what is happening to me? Have you been amazed to later find out that God was right there with you all of the time?
We have finally returned to our first church home at the Episcopal church. And this year I missed everysingle Holy Week Service including the Saturday Vigil and Easter Sunday because either Bob was sick or I was sick. And still, I was able to rejoice in all the Risen Christ has done for us. I could only do that by holding fast to what I have learned about my God. Hold fast the foundation of your faith, regardless of how you are feeling, regardless of what you can or cannot sense.
The writer of the letter to the Hebrews might be called the Hold Fast writer! The New Revised Version sometimes translates it Hold Firm.
Christ, however, was faithful over God’shouse as a son, and we are his house if we hold firmthe boldness and the pride inspired by hope. Hebrews 3:6 NRSUE
For we have become partners of Christ, if only we hold our first confidence firm to the end. Hebrews 3:14 NRSVUE
Since, then, we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast to our confession. Hebrews 4:14 NRSVUE
Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who has promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23 NRSVUE
But test everything; hold fast to what is good 1 Thessalonians 5:21 NRSVUE
Hold fast, hold true, never let go. He is coming again in glory. Until then God is able to keep us in all of our ways.
I have been trying to compile a booklet of my writings to publish regarding prayer. I suddenly realized I did not have enough about intercession – praying for others. You are now my guinea pigs as I put these ideas out there first to you!
The dictionary says intercession is offering petitionary prayer to God on behalf of others. Also, acting as a mediator or standing in the gap before God on behalf of another. How often do you go to God on behalf of others? Is there an awkward feeling when someone asks you to pray for them?
Just like other forms of prayer, intercession takes some practice and should never actually feel comfortable. No one can assume to have the mind of Christ in its entirety. However, there are times when we glimpse the glory and power of our Savior. Intercessory prayer is asking for that intervention and movement of God in a given situation.
We ought never to forget that we have a Lord who is also our High Priest, and that this Priest is able to empathize with our weaknesses.*1 Knowing this High Priest, we can learn to come boldly to the throne of grace to find mercy and grace in time of need. Believing and practicing these verses can teach us to trust that we are heard when we pray and that the Lord cares about the needs of His people.
How to begin? Imagine someone brings a request to you. As an intercessor, you are required to listen closely when someone brings a request. Do not assume you know what they are asking for. After listening, start by clarifying what the person is asking for. It is perfectly fine to state something like “ I think I heard you say….” and then repeat back to the person their request.
Prayer does not change God’s mind, but it changes us. With every request there should be in us a yieldedness of being willing to accept that His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts.*2 The answer from on high might actually be different than what the person requests. We trust the highest and best God has to offer will come as we open ourselves to invite God into the situation. Stating as part of your prayer “Your Kingdom come; Your will be done” is always appropriate. This shows our willingness to come under the rule and reign of Christ.
One of the best teachers I ever heard on prayer demonstrated to his congregation how to put the method into practice. So here goes my attempt. Judy comes to you asking prayer for Aunt Lucy. Aunt Lucy is slipping mentally and has a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s or Dementia. Judy tells you the family is upset and does not know what to do with her. Take a deep breath and slowly exhale. Wait upon God for direction. Listen for that still small voice perhaps giving you instruction, and then begin to pray, slowly and calmly.
“Father, we come into Your Presence with praise and thanksgiving that You are Who You are and You love us just as we are. We lift Aunt Lucy to You now. You know what the doctors have determined about her current state. We ask that You step into the situation and give Lucy and her family Your peace and comfort. Lucy must be frightened by all of this. Help her to cling to You and to trust You.
“Her family is bewildered by the changes that have come over her. Give them patience and wisdom as they deal with this current state of affairs. Guide and direct the decisions they must make on her behalf. You are the God of all comfort, and we come to You seeking Your highest and best in this situation of change and loss. Help each person adapt with Your grace and mercy to what is going on. Your kingdom come, Your will be done in these situations Lord. We look for You to manifest yourself in these various situations. And as You bring these things to pass, we will be careful to give you all of the glory. We ask all of this in the mighty Name of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.”
Sit with the person for a moment and ask if there is anything else on their heart. Often your prayer will stir up something else they forgot to mention that is bothering them. If they share something take it right then to the Lord in prayer. Be certain to assure the person regarding confidentiality. We have a mandate on ourselves to lift others in prayer, but not to gossip about their needs.
I have had people mention that they could never be intercessors assuming they would just worry all the time about what happens to the person after they pray. We must learn that when someone brings a request that the request gets lifted to God and we are to leave it on the altar for the Trinity to deal with. We were never meant to carry the burdens of the world. Listen. Pray. Release. Move on.
If the Holy Spirit brings the situation to your remembrance, again then listen, pray, release. There have been a few times when the Lord wants me to pray and keep on praying. Believe me, if that situation occurs the Holy Spirit will not let me forget the instructions to continue! The Holy Spirit has been called the Hound of Heaven. The persistence of this Mighty One cannot be understated.
Intercession requires trust and faith. Trust that God is truly in charge, and we are not. We are called as intercessors to comfort the people of God. Hebrews 11:6 say, “And without faith it is impossible to please him. For whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.” We have faith that God exists and God rewards those who seek Him. We do not dictate how God must answer but we hold as true the fact that God will answer .
Pray on!
*1 Hebrews 4:14-15 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.
*2 Isaiah 55:8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. 9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Recently an entry by Amy Carmichael in her book, Edges of His Ways, brought my attention to this word. It is not used much in today’s English. I was feeling worn out and weary by all the medical hoopla. I certainly need the Lord to quicken me as only God can.
The word quicken is used in the King James Version of the Bible, and it means “revive or make alive.” If something is living, it is “quick”; to “quicken” something is to bring it to life or restore it to a former flourishing condition. I seriously needed restoration and the promise in Psalm 51:12 “Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and sustain in me a willing spirit.”
For many years I read 5 Psalms each morning. Because it is so bloomin’ long, I broke up Psalm 119 into 22 selections for days 1-22 of each month. Some Bibles show Hebrew letters at the beginning of each stanza. Those correspond to the Hebrew alphabet, (which I do not read).
It can be depicted this way.
Back to the main topic here! Quicken lead me to do a study of the passages in Psalm 119. Psalm 119 has so many references for this word.
Revive me, give me life, be gracious, enliven me. I imagine most of us if not all of us could use more of this from God. Perhaps the best way to present this to you is simply to list the passages with the references? That way you can read it for yourselves and apply them prayerfully to your life.
Psalm 119:25 KJV reads My soul cleaveth unto the dust: quicken thou me according to thy word. NIV reads My soul clings to the dust, revive me according to your word.
Psalm 119:107 KJV I am afflicted very much: quicken me, O Lord, according unto thy word. NRSVUE I am severely afflicted; give me life, O Lord, according to your word.
Clinging to dust. Severely afflicted. Yep, just done worn out. God can handle this even when we cannot in our own strength.
Psalm 119: 40 KJV Behold, I have longed after thy precepts: quicken me in thy righteousness. NRSVUE See, I have longed for your precepts; in your righteousness be gracious to me.
As we long for His precepts {divine principles, guidelines, statutes, and instructions that God has set forth for righteous living} … as we long for these guidelines and instructions from God, God is gracious to us through righteousness. We long, God fulfills. Do you truly long for these?
This might sound all too simple, but this is the Word of God. There are promises here. We will be restored as we cling to the Word and walk in the ways God shows us to walk.
Psalm 119:50 KJV This is my comfort in my affliction: for thy word hath quickened me. NRSVUE This is my comfort in my distress, that your promise gives me life.
If you have not chosen an activity for this Lenten season to draw you closer to the Father, perhaps studying these verses might do the trick?
Psalm 119:88 KJV Quicken me after thy loving kindness; so shall I keep the testimony of thy mouth NRSVUE In your steadfast love spare my life, so that I may keep the decrees of your mouth.
Psalm 119:93 I will never forget thy precepts: for with them thou hast quickened me. NRSVUE I will never forget your precepts, for by them you have given me life.
Psalm 119:37 KJV Turn away mine eyes from beholding vanity; and quicken thou me in thy way. NRSVUE Turn my eyes from looking at vanities; be gracious to me {give me life} according to your word.
Psalm 119: 149 KJV Hear my voice according unto thy loving kindness: O Lord, quicken me according to thy judgment. NRSVUE In your steadfast love hear my voice; O Lord, in your justice preserve my life.
Psalm: 159 KJV Consider how I love thy precepts: quicken me, O Lord, according to thy loving kindness. NRSVUE Consider how I love your precepts: be gracious to me {give me life} according to your steadfast love.
Psalm 119:156 KJV Great are thy tender mercies, O Lord: quicken me according to thy judgments.NRSVUE Great is your mercy, O Lord; be gracious to me {give me life} according to your justice.
That might seem like a lot of digest. I hope you did not just blow through the verses. I think if you will ponder them you will find them a source for better understanding what the Psalmist knew about God and how you can draw closer for a better understanding for yourself.
Are you feeding upon the Word of God? Are you seeking and drinking in Living Water? Are you thriving in the dark mess the world has become?
Part 3 addresses the How to live imbibition. It takes about 7 minutes to read. Hope you enjoy it.
PART 3 You might say, “Well, Molly, that is all very nice. What am I to do to foster the growth of the Kingdom within me? You have no idea of the pressures upon me, I need a better job (or employment period). The strain of what bad thing will happen next is about to break me. I can’t get any rest. I am not a bean in a ship’s hold.”
First, in my experience, you must make reading the Word of God a major priority in your life. Not a “religious” priority, but mandatory for health, oxygen, well-being. This is the only way we are going to make it through the coming darkness with dignity and grace.
NASB Hebrews 4:12-13 For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are open and laid bare to the eyes of Him with whom we have to do. The Word of God has power. Power we might never understand fully this side of heaven.
As you yield yourself to the Lord God and yield to the power of His Word upon you, things will begin to change, inside you and about you. Not necessarily big dramatic changes, (though those might occur also), but remember the man scattered seed. He went to bed and he got up and the seed grew HE KNEW NOT HOW. Yield yourself to scattering seed upon your own soul. Make it a habit to allow the Kingdom of God room to have a place within you. And you begin with the seeds. You do not have to understand how it works. Just begin to do it. Ask for the Living Water to nourish the seeds you sow in your soul and mind.
Second, you must ask Jesus to give you the things He promises in New Testament Scripture. We live under the New Covenant, the new plan He brought and established by His birth, life among us, death, resurrection, and ascension. There are specific promises and blessings He promises to give us if we seek Him. He will give those to you and He tells us to ASK and keep on asking. You will grow in the things of the Kingdom. Do not ask me to explain to you how you will grow. I do not understand the how, but I do understand the promise and the results. He will give you living water to nourish the seed. You must be willing to consume, absorb, soak up that water.
More from The Living Earth book:“The power of imbibition is a common one in nature, and so is the reproduction of living cells. Combine them, as in a growing plant, and there is a force which can move mountains or easily grow through a blacktop road. A classic experiment in botany was once made with a growing squash plant to test the expansive power of cells. The squash, while still on the vine, was tightly boxed in and weights were added to the framework to keep it enclosed. At first, the young squash moved sixty pounds of weights; a month later two and one half tons were not enough to contain its power of growth.“
Now that sounds like our life, huh? See how much pressure you can put on (and did you notice the humor of what plant they tested, the SQUASH!) and the thing just keeps on growing and busting out! Sounds like a little group in Jerusalem that the religious leaders could not make shut up after their Lord was crucified, died and rose again. Jesus said He will be with us always, even to the end of the age. He told us He and the Father would come to us and live within us. He promised to send His Holy Spirit to guide us and be in us. How can we go wrong with all of them helping us?
Paul says in Colossians 1: 25-27 NIV I have become its (the Church’s) servant by the commission God gave me to present to you the word of God in its fullness–the mystery that has been kept hidden for ages and generations, but is now disclosed to the saints. To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.
This mystery, oh this mystery that we so often belittle by wanting every detail explained. Could you just go with the mystery this once and see where it takes you? Could you risk it all and gain the Kingdom? Would you try once again to soak up, absorb, and consume the living water, and grow into His image in the Kingdom, the image He had in mind when He blew life into your being and wonder into your soul?
Perhaps Paul understood this better than any of us. NIV 1 Corinthians 3: 6-9 I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor. For we are God’s fellow workers; you are God’s field, God’s building.
In the dispute that Paul was addressing, the watering and planting were attributed to different persons. I believe that it would delight the Father’s heart if each person who reads this would determine in their heart to plant the seed of His Word in his or her own soul, soak and water that seed with living water until the Kingdom sprouts up with a force that can move mountains or burst through inches of blacktop. For we are, indeed, His Temple and His Spirit wants to live in us. “Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you?” 1 Corinthians 3:16 If we believe Acts 17:28a “For in Him we live and move and have our being” then His Word must be life and breath to us. We can share this life giving discipline with others. The more we grow, the more others will be drawn to His light and Life.
Yes, the darkness is getting darker and moving in upon the areas we thought would always surely remain bright. However, we have a great High Priest who knows all that we go through. (HEB 4:14-16) He is just waiting for us to run to His throne room to find mercy and grace in time of need. He wants to abide with us, in the quiet times as well as the turbulent hours. Yield to His ways and find His quiet strength. As you run to Him and yield to Him, even in the midst of great darkness, you will find Isaiah 61:11 becoming a reality in your daily life.
For as the soil makes the sprout come up and a garden causes seeds to grow, so the Sovereign Lord will make righteousness and praise spring up before all nations.
Constant fellowship with the Spirit, growing trust in the Son, and adoration of the Father will result in righteousness and praise springing forth from your lips and overflowing from your life. Perhaps the river of living water in the depth of our being is a foretaste of the river of the water of life in Revelation 22:1 that issues from the Throne of God and of the Lamb! Even so, rule and reign in us, Christ Jesus, our King of kings and Lord of lords.
Many world religions teach us the importance of learning how to live with uncertainty. Most of us are not very good at it! I read this quote recently from Gratitude. It hit me right where I have been living.
Peace is an invitation in daily life to breathe deep, right here, in the uncertainty. Morgan Harper Nichols
Learning to live with the knowledge that I have a large aortic aneurysm has been difficult and very unsettling. Knowing my God calls me to a life of peace has me wondering how to tap this particular dance. (My sister took tap lessons, not me. I remember her reciting shuffle-ball-step.)
My Internist convinced me that I cannot continue to live in this high state of stress. Doing so for 2 months has caused a massive, ugly fibromyalgia flare. Fibro is a nasty condition addressed in other blog pages. Suffice it to say my body became a train wreck.
I began returning to some of the best teachers I know regarding good mental health. Rick Hanson.net has many resources from this renowned Psychologist. One of his books came to me by way of my sister. I passed it along to my granddaughter. Now I am buying another one for myself!
Resting in Calm Strength: When you recognize that you are basically all right in the present moment, you can release unnecessary anxiety. This isn’t about denying real threats or challenges but rather about not letting anxiety run the show when you are, in fact, safe.
I have prayed and asked the Lord for help with all of this. Deliverance came with realization that this aneurysm may have been present for decades! Now that we are aware of of it, doctors can monitor and treat it. Yes, I very likely will need open heart surgery at some time in the future, but I am in fact all right now.
This is not to say I will remain calm and full of equanimity when the time comes to book that surgery. It just says I can cope in the here and now – this moment – without dwelling in that high anxiety constantly. Perhaps with practice I will be able to face the surgery with peace and calm? The hard work of re-framing all of this plus the three blood pressure medications they have me on seem to finally be bringing my blood pressure down. Now, to maintain those lower numbers!
It has been difficult, but not impossible to let go of those aneurysm thoughts. With practice and diligence I have been able to lay most of them aside. I realized browsing though Hansen’s webpages that I had used the old, ugly habit of rumination with the aneurysm. Rumination is based on negative, obsessive thoughts and it drags me down to the lowest places. Here is a blog entry I wrote about it in 2022. https://treasures-in-plain-sight.org/2022/07/21/rumination/
So I have signed up for his 5 week course entitled Breaking Out of Rumination. Dr. Hanson says that rumination “is very normal, and problematic in the extreme.” I am looking forward to getting a handle on how to stop myself from this habit. I likely learned it from my family of origin – that inability to let something go – just hashing and re-hashing it over and over again. Plus, more good news, when I actually went to sign up the course was half-off!
My writing may drop to 4 blogs a week as I put more work into preparing the poetry for publication. I am also pulling blog entries to try to organize into booklets for publication. Yes! I found an editor and now need to apply myself to the new work of compiling, editing for my part, sending them to her for edits, revising, preparing for publication, open an Amazon self-publishing account, etc.etc.
That certainly gives me other things to think about. My Internist encouraged me to put my focus there!
You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, {staid on Thee} because they trust in you. Isaiah 26:3 NIV
Saw this boiling mud pot in one of the national parks. That is pretty much what my brain is like these days.
I find it amazing that our physical being can cause such major distraction! The things done routinely are forgotten. The people who love us best might not be kept in the loop. The side effects from these drugs to lower blood pressure are kicking me to pieces. Plus it does not seem to be coming down and staying down consistently. It is lower, now to get it to stay there!
I forgot to update my 92 year old friend about my health. That is the same woman who prays for me and my family daily. I felt so bad. I have updated many people via text or email. She does not do either. I totally forgot to call her.
The ice on the front walk built up without me even considering putting a chemical on it to help melt it away. The night temperatures in the teens has kept our shady walks from thawing. Hopefully it will all melt away this week now that we are out of the freezing temperatures!
Usually I gather ideas all week long for what to blog about. Not so this week! Haven’t a clue what direction to take this week. Last week I shared some of my stories from over the years. Maybe continue that theme?
As I fight my way out of the mud I wonder how I will ever set aside time to work just on gathering and editing materials for publishing? I am excited by the prospect, but stymied by this brain fog.
As I listened to music while writing this song by Stephanie Gretzinger came up. I do not remember it, though I placed it on my playlist! Thank You, Lord for the reminder that You are able to keep me.
24 Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy,
25 To the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen. Jude 24-25 KJV
The opening drawing is a take off on Scripture. My point is this is someone’s artwork. It reflects God’s power in creation. It is also a reflection of the work of the Trinity in our lives, if we will yield to the work of the Word.
Have you had a glimpse of the masterpiece God is making with your life? Do you know that the Creator who made the seasons is also making you into a masterpiece?
I recently saw a pen and ink drawing and was hit by the thought,
"You, Lord, are drawing the lines, etching the picture, planning my future, equipping me to yield in gentle and quiet obedience."
drawing the lines
etching the picture
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 2 Peter 1:3 NIV
Let your adornment be the inner self with the lasting beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:4 NRSVUE
My thanks to Juan D. for the first photo portion and M. Linda McLaughlin for the second. The opening sketch is from the J. S. Paluch Company.
For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there until they have watered the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, 11 so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose and succeed in the thing for which I sent it. Isaiah 55:10 NRSVUE
Are you yielding to the plan? Is your goal that gentle and quiet spirit of obedience?
Treasures in Plain Sight, A Christian Blog 