Ouch. This date and June 14th both bring me pangs of anguish. My Dad died on November 14, 1961. My mom died June 14, 1975. If my Dad was alive today he would be 109 years old. I do not wish that on anyone. That said, I have a friend who is in her 90s. Should she die this week I must say I would miss her dearly.
I never knew Paul Arthur Rush as anyone other than Daddy. I had just turned eleven years old when he died in our apartment. I was angry with him that morning when I left for school, (no idea over what now). I do remember that I refused to kiss him good bye. Little did I know he would be dead before I returned to the house from my after school dental appointment. My mother was supposed to pick me up. During my appointment I cried out. The dentist had to stop and let me calm down. I think that was just about the moment my Dad died. What a mess.
When the dental office secretary unexpectedly drove me home (due to the chaos in our house), I entered a place where my life was changed forever. Why am I telling you all of this?
We do not know what the next hour of our life will bring to us or to those whom we love. John Wesley is credited with the quote below, but it is cited from the 1790s to the 1900s in various publications as being written by various people. I think we can all agree it sums up wisdom indeed.
Do all the good you can, By all the means you can, In all the ways you can, In all the places you can, At all the times you can, To all the people you can, As long as ever you can.
On the morning of November 14, 1961 I had no idea how much that saying would impact me later in life. Yes, I wish I had kissed my Dad good-bye that morning. He suffered many years from repeated heart attacks and his heart disease is what finally killed him. For many years I was sorry for my inaction when I departed for school. I know I am forgiven.
I am grateful to my Dad in so many ways. They say he had a great sense of humor. I suppose that is where I got mine? I remember setting his hair in pin curls. For years I had totally straight hair. In my older age it is growing in wavy. His was wavy and I always envied that! After he died I would walk in a room and relatives would gasp and say, “Oh! It is Paul Rush.” So I guess I look more like him than I do my mom.
When I was diagnosed with diabetes I asked how that could be? “There is no history of that in my family.” The doctor told me that when my dad died from heart disease he likely was diabetic. There was no standard testing for diabetes at the time. His heart disease was likely due to his diabetes. (Not to mention the smoking, and drinking, etc.)
I will tell you that losing him set me on a quest to replace him. I found that no one could. However, that was the time when I did turn my heart and soul to the Lord God Almighty. I have found Him to be a most faithful Father Who will never leave me or forsake me.
So never miss a chance to tell someone that you love them. Seek most of all to know the heavenly Father.
My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face, Lord, I will seek. 9 Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, God my Savior. 10 Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. 11 Teach me your way, Lord; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. 12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, spouting malicious accusations.
13 I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. 14 Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:8-14 NIV
My Uncle made me pose the morning of Daddy’s funeral. I did not want to smile.
As you likely know, I enjoy walking and watching the flora about me as the seasons change. Imagine how startled I was when I came upon this in a neighbor’s yard!
Wood Violet, November 2024
When I moved to the San Francisco bay area in October of 1969 I was amazed at daffodils that bloomed in January and poinsettias that grew up the walls of one house. I walked about shaking my head and declaring, “Wrong! This is just wrong!” I felt that same feeling as I saw this violet not in one yard but in two different yards. The plant life here in Ohio is just confused by these atypical warm temperatures. And the drought! Oh, the drought is awful. The ponds at the Cincinnati Nature Center had the lowest water level I have ever seen in my many years of going there.
Nothing could dampen the enthusiasm of Lucky as she got to make the trek through the Nature Center.
Man and beast in the breeze
We came across the pollinator garden. Last summer I discovered this vine growing there.
And this is how it appears now!
All the lovely flowers gone to seed!
Even the tree along the parking area was lovely!
Oak declaring autumn!
No idea what this plant is but the colors were stunning!
My flower bed at home still has blooming nasturtiums, marigolds, snapdragons, and the red geranium is going strong! So weird. November 5th and the flowers show no signs of slowing down.
Take a walk and find the treasures that are in plain sight where you live!
The revelation of God is whole and pulls our lives together. The signposts of God are clear and point out the right road. The life-maps of God are right, showing the way to joy. The directions of God are plain and easy on the eyes. God’s reputation is twenty-four-carat gold, with a lifetime guarantee. The decisions of God are accurate down to the nth degree. Psalm 19:7-9 The Message
Here is a practical application that I completed from the Book of Joy last weekend. What a change it made for me!
I wrote in my journal that I sensed that weekend was the best of times and the worst of times. Within a few hours I would have birthday prayer at my church. This return to St. Timothy’s has felt SO MUCH like coming home. The joy of having that prayer over me was not something I can yet describe. I suppose it has to do with choosing this denomination when I was 15 and arranging at the time for my baptism and confirmation.
The altar at St. Timothy’s
I was also invited to attend a baby shower for one my best friend’s son and daughter-in-law the same day. Their first child was born during Covid and there was no shower for that child. I was looking forward to seeing Kathy in the element of family and friends whom I had heard so much about. The worst part is that Kathy spends part of each year in Florida instead of across the street from me in Ohio. Her departure flight was the morning after the baby shower. We have grown incredibly close over the couple of years we have known each other. It has to be the Lord who orchestrated this! Both of us love and serve the Trinity. I do that through the Protestant church and she through the Catholic. We are the same age, husbands are the same age. We were married the same year. We both have a daughter and a son. She suffers from a chronic illness that is worse than mine. Boy oh boy can we relate to one another!
So when she leaves Ohio each year it is very hard on both of us. She assured me that this time she would only be gone for 7 weeks, then here for 2 weeks at Christmas, and then would return for a little bit when this baby is born.
I realized I needed to sit with the cascade of feelings that would all occur within about 24 hours and process them. The Dalai Lamai says see sadness and rejoice at the high pleasure of the treasure of her friendship. During my quiet time, I was like a mouse in a maze running all over the place. Not finding a place to process the feelings, much less experience them!
Yes, I need to return to that practice of silence and processing. Perhaps this assignment is too difficult for me? Finished reading Barefoot where the Wesleyan prayer was repeatedly used. Painfully, the women recited, I am glad to give You everything. I am content to have nothing and You – have everything as you see fit Lord, and they also ask God to help them with all of that. I have not arrived. I need Your help as much as they did.
There have been days with showers of leaves falling and delighting us with their journey. This morning as a single leaf fell it seemed more poignant than showers of hundreds at a time.
Perhaps that is the lesson in my blessings and sadness. There are blessings of having all these leaves during the summer, the blessing of watching their colors change. And the drama of watching them fall to the ground. There is the sadness of one leaf letting go of its anchor to the branch and drifting to the earth. They are all one. Will I let my sadness blend with my joys and not unmoor me from my faith, my hope, my love? Not let me plunge into grief?
I need a paper copy of the Book of Joy. I need to study that book, apply the wisdom, take my time with what the Archbishop and the Dalai Lama teach. It is as if my first reading was just a primer and now it’s time to embrace the lessons and not blow past them. Now is the time to truly go deep in my own life with what they hold forth. I’m fairly certain that Monday zoom book group sharing over this book will be a means to convict me. It is up to me to embrace the work for myself.
The next morning I journaled, Dalai Lama And Desmond Tutu say my sadness over her departure reflects the depth of my love. And I do love her, Lord. Such a gift to me from You. I never would have dreamed such a friend! You knew what both of us needed.
The earth has changed its appearance drastically. Leaves are scattered every place outside. Garden ridge is covered, Nasturtiums poke through. More sky, fewer and fewer leaves. More limbs attest to rest coming with the seasonal change.
Back to Barefoot book. Wesley: I am no longer mine own, but Yours. Put me to what You will, rank me with whom You will. Put me to doing, put me to suffering. Let me be employed for You or laid aside for You, Exalted for You, or brought low for You. Let me be full, let me be empty. Let me have all things, let me have nothing. I freely and heartily yield all things to Your pleasure and disposal. And now, O glorious and blessed God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, You are mine and I am Yours. So be it. And the covenant which I have made on earth, Let it be ratified in heaven. Amen. Back to Barefoot book. Wesley: I am no longer mine own, but Yours.
So Monday morning was completed with peace. Kathy’s family loaded their luggage in our car. We hugged and said our good-byes. I did not cry this time, knowing she remains in my heart as one of my greatest gifts from God. Bob drove them to the airport.
I think studying the wisdom from Archbishop Desmond Tutu and his good friend the Dali Lamai will help me gain a more stable emotional and spiritual life. Equilibrium, peace, stability. Help me, Father to apply wisdom to my heart.
I do love you, my sister, Kathy Peterson. God knew what we both needed and gave us to each other. Praise His holy name!!
And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. Matthew 6:7-8
My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, 2 turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding— 3 indeed, if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, 4 and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, 5 then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. 6 For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. Proverbs 2:1-6
I was born on All Saints Day. It is celebrated in the Christian church worldwide in practically every denomination.
“The Bible doesn’t tell us to pray to the saints (Matt. 6:6) or through the saints (1 Tim. 2:5). Instead, we think of our connectedness to past saints and find inspiration in their stories of God’s faithfulness. Hebrews 11 gives many examples of the great cloud of witnesses whose lives tell of God’s unfailing love and grace. These saints speak from the past and are whispering at this moment…
“God is faithful.” “The Lord is good. Trust Him.” “His grace was sufficient for me in my trials and is sufficient for you today.”
I turn 74 today and some how I keep thinking I am not that old. Until evening comes, and my energy flags. At times I realize all the things I will not get to do again or have never had the opportunity to do. “Like sands through the hourglass.”
The saints who have gone before me continue to offer me an example of faith and a challenge to live my life for the One Who is most worthy. “Time keeps on tick’in, into the future,” with or without us. I agree with the idea of living with an audience of One.
Colossians 3.23-24 “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.”
“So, let us embrace the Audience of One Bible verse as a guiding principle in our lives. Let us strive to live each day with the knowledge that we are seen, known, and loved by our Creator. May we find the courage to let go of the need for human approval and instead seek to live a life that brings glory to God, our Audience of One.” There are many more verses listed at this website: https://dailybibleverse.org/audience-of-one-bible-verse/
“Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives,” has been a constant line on daytime television each afternoon since Nov. 8, 1965 says www.thelist.com. I was only 15 years old when that show began.
Please pray I continue to live for the glory of God all the days of my life. I pray the same for each of you!
Our dog, Lucky, loves to shred stuffed toys. She takes her time and usually makes a right mess. Kohl’s has a program where they offer stuffed toys and/or story books for $5 each. Proceeds go to charity. I have found these are safe for Lucky as they do not have hard plastic eyes, etc. On occasion I go purchase a few and put them up in the closet until she is ready for a new one. Recently I disposed of the Cat in the Hat after she had taken the stuffing out of his arms, legs and hat. I replaced it with One Fish. Are you familiar with the Dr. Seuss book, One Fish, Two Fish? Lucky loves to rest in our bedroom every afternoon. No clue as to why? I recently went in the bedroom and there was One Fish, turned over it made Two fish and next to that was …. wait for it.
One fishTwo fishSCHOOL of fish, stuffing all over the rug!
One day after chewing on One Fish for a while she took a nap on top of it!
Our friends, Betty and Dan, live in big sky country. We sometimes get a vaguely similar effect here. Recently when walking Lucky in the morning I was delighted with this sky.
Oh the glory of His Presence!
When I asked Bob to take this photo I called it the last bouquet of the summer. Yet the nasturtiums continue to bloom. I do not have the heart to tear them out of the garden until a very hard freeze. I might have to smash some of them though in order to capture the chipmunk that has taken up residence in our front flower bed for 2 years now, grrr!
I placed them in vase on our kitchen counter. A friend came in and asked where I got those flowers? My delighted answer was, “The garden!”
Harry Chapin wrote and sang a song about Mr. Tanner. He was a dry cleaner and he loved to sing. His friends pressured him to go to New York to have an agent for singers who wanted to advance their careers provide him with a concert venue. The lyrics say, “Music was his life, it was not his livelihood. He did not know how well he sang; it just made him whole.”
The reviews after his concert were not terrific. He never sang again, except late at night when he was alone in the dry cleaning shop. I do not want to become Mr. Tanner. There are interesting videos on YouTube of the actual man who inspired “Mr. Tanner.” His name is Martin Tubridy. There is even a video of the song at a benefit concert for the Harry Chapin foundation where he sings the lines attributed to him. The real-life story is that Martin did not give up his singing career.
A few of my friends have encouraged me to explore publishing my writing. Mostly I feel nudges from the Lord. I have come to the realization that my writing may not ever make it into publication, (no I have not stopped trying). There is a massive work for selection of pieces and re-writing of those pieces that would have to occur. I will most definitely need an editor. (Average pay is $30 an hour.) I am not getting any younger. This writing about my life with Christ keeps me whole. I am so grateful for those who read the blog regularly.
So I continue to ask prayers for guidance from the Lord on how to proceed with all this. As phone calls and appointments interrupt my writing time and life overall intrudes, I will need to carve away dedicated time for the work. The Lord assured me months ago that it would indeed be work.
October 18 is one of the most memorable days ever. My husband was born on this day. I am so grateful that God directed us to each other. Christ has kept us together for 54 years. No, not every moment has been unicorns and rainbows, but our love has grown deeper with each challenge. We have raised 2 children, now are blessed with 3 grandchildren. Bob has made a way for us to retire in relative comfort. We are some of the wealthiest people in the world. Not just financially, for that we are not, but we are rich in faith, love, blessings, joy, humor out the wazoo (mostly thanks to Bob).
This man is a gracious person to everyone he meets. Even as I type this he is serving the needy at Inter Parish Ministry.
Serving picnic food on a sweltering evening with Empower Youth ministry
He will serve as an Election Official at the upcoming election. I know what a high cost that is physically, yet he does it as a matter of civic duty. Since he serves in the district where we live he also enjoys getting to see his neighbors who come to vote.
Since retirement he has taken on the duty of major dish washer in our home. That is besides being the auto maintenance person, general overseer of finances, etc., etc., etc.
This man is a blessing to me beyond my words to describe. There is so much more to say, but I will leave it at that.
Happy Birthday Robert. I love you dearly. Guess I best get busy with that carrot cake he loves!
After receiving verbal abuse and accusations via texting I have to find a way to let go of it. To forgive. To get washed and made clean. To remember that as the Bride no mud balls the enemy slings, no matter whose voice he uses, can stick to the bridal gown of Christ. He has set me free.
me as a bride 54 years ago
Is there one song or verse or mantra or prayer you use in times like this? What is your best coping tool? Would you be willing to share it with others? Trying to recall the lyrics ….
I am free, I am free I’m set free by the Blood of the Lamb I am clean and spotless by Your blood I am free - actual song was recorded in 2006.
And then Taylor Swift’s “Shake it off” came up. And finally my heart landed upon Be Loved.
None of them were perfectly healing, but each one took me a step closer to His Peace.
This morning I awoke with this chorus also from long ago.
“As we glory in Your embrace, as Your Presence now fills this place.”
Cannot say I am not quiet, a bit weary, but I know Who my Redeemer is!
I am often prepared for how to pray while reading Christian novels. A recent one had this simple prayer line.
The author of the Mountain Series wrote, “Lord, protect her. Do what I can’t.”
I adapt the prayer saying, “Lord, protect them. Do what I can’t.”
I took a walk after writing yesterday’s entry. That is when I remembered the novel and the line I copied. The Mountain Series by Misty M. Beller is full of such simple prayers. I read these, copy and paste them in my electronic notes knowing I will need them later. She seems to write this sort of prayer every time her character realizes they have moved away from trusting God and then the character returns with a simple declaration of faith.
So Monday morning, walking and trying to clear my brain for another blog entry, I prayed the above prayer and am writing it to each of you. “Lord, protect. Do what I cannot.” Brother Lawrence tells us that useless thoughts spoil everything and much mischief starts there…exact quote from the book of his letters is next.
“That useless thoughts spoil all: that the mischief began there; but that we ought to reject them, as soon as we perceived their impertinence to the matter in hand, or our salvation; and return to our communion with GOD.”
Words that bring life and repel darkness. Certainly easy to read and type. SO much harder to put into practice. Mental illness is so painful for the family members to watch. We get dragged into it when words or texts are flying with untrue accusations, most of which will never receive an apology. What does one do with those wounds?
I cannot tell you what years and years of this accomplishes. At the end of that first day this is how I felt.
Hollow watermelon with empty rind
Empty, hollow, almost unable to form a coherent sentence. Wondering what positive impact my life has ever made in this person and these situations.
I was reminded that the last response I made to a hurtful text was, “You are hurting all the ones who love you the most.” The response seemed to be hugely sarcastic, “Thanks for the advice.” Then crickets.
Perhaps there was an impact from my words. Maybe a glimmer of light broke through from the Lord’s hand? God knows. I learned later that shortly thereafter, things began to turn around for the better.
I went to sleep asking the Lord to help me rest and not obsess over all that had been said and done not only that day, but over the weeks, over the years leading up to this event.
I was truly amazed when I awoke the next morning and realized I had slept all the way through the night.
I am reminded as I write this that my mother once made pickled watermelon rinds.
Tasty, but they seemed WAY too sweet to me!
So perhaps that is my guidance. Take the words and the hurt and the anguish. Clean down to the rind. Cook it is the forgiveness of Christ adding the sweetness of His Presence. Serve it up as an offering on his banqueting table?
I was sharing with you from the book Renovated: God, Dallas Willard and Jim Wilder. I want to get back to the idea of living as if eternal life begins now, which I believe is true.
See, eternal life is not something that you get after you are dead. Eternal life is a way of living – now, even as we are alive.Sometimes I think it would help us if instead of talking about eternal life, we talked abouteternal living. Eternal living is a matter of living a life so intertwined with the life of God Himself that your life is a part of God’s life. Consider John 17:.3
And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.John 17:3 NKJV
The knowing Jesus here is not cognitive (knowing what the answers are). Knowing, biblically and in life generally, is a matter of interactive relationship.
We are to know Jesus as we live in the here and now. Know Him through an interactive relationship. How do you do that?
Let me give you an example from my own life this very morning. Bob had a missed call at 5:38 AM. Then when he reached out he was sent a text to please call him. There was a situation someone did not have any experience handling. We both prayed.
I went to the Lord with any unconfessed situations on my part in that particular relationship. I used the book Praying like Monks, etc. as my guideline for this, pages 114-115. I prayed something like this. “I give You all of this Father. I ask that the power of truth and hope rule and reign over and within this relationship. Holy Spirit help us I pray. We have no idea what is going on once again. Wisdom of the ages, be with us and guide us.” I approached this as currently living in Ohio but also living eternally. Adoration, confession, petition and now I give thanks that we can pray with confidence that the Lord has heard us. Move in this situation I pray Father. Through Your Holy Spirit break through and help those in need.
Jim Wilder continues: “Eternal living is this kind of knowing, an interactive relationship. I am living eternally now. That is why Jesus says, “Those who keep my word will never experience or see death.” Why? Because the life they are living now simply continues. And again, consider John 11 at the tomb of Lazarus when Jesus is talking with Martha about resurrection and so on. 25 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. 26 And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?” It wasn’t death He was talking about – He’s talking about life.
Are you willing to give life this kind of perspective? Are you hungry for His presence, His will and His ways? This has meant I need to adjust my perspective on many things. Remember Jesus said if you hate your life here you will keep it? (John 12:25) For me that has meant giving thanks for situations that I have resented or been ungrateful for previously. Turning things in my heart and mind to His way of seeing and doing. Oh Lord, I have so much more to learn about eternal living!
May the Holy Spirit guide and teach each of us in the ways of heaven. I always declare I need all the help I can get! Help me Spirit to relinquish every situation to You, for You alone are omniscient and omnipotent. Omnipresent God touch and heal us all I pray. Amen.