So Close

More than likely I have shared this song before. It has not grown to mean less to me! There are heavy prayer requests in our neighborhood and among our friends.

One family has a member with heart disease along with leukemia. He was hospitalized with what ER doc called an irritated heart. That is a new term to me. Perhaps doc made it up to not worry the wife who was diagnosed last week with pancreatic cancer. She is a ghastly shade of yellow/green sort of like Fiona from Shrek. She will have another scan this week and a port put in to facilitate chemo. She has been given 2 years to live. That is in just one family.

Another family has a dad with aggressive Parkinsons’s disease. He has been in nursing facility, brought home due to bedsore and poor care. Has been on in-home hospice care. He will go to facility for hospice care on Friday so his wife can get some rest.

My 92 year old friend got home from rehab facility over the past weekend. She is tired and rather frail, but holding her own , so far. Next week she turns 93. So far, refusing most help when we offer it. She has learned how to put on her back brace. She must wear it when she is up and about due to the 3 broken ribs and 3 broken vertebrae. She is using her cane inside the house and has a grabber in four out of five rooms. Therapist wants her to use the walker, but there is not enough clear space in the house for that. Hopefully when therapist comes to her home they will insist and assist in clearing away some of the stuff so she can use that walker in the house. She is not to bend forward or twist her torso.

There is another awaiting appointment with back surgeon for likely surgery appointment. One healing from skin graft after removal of cancer from her scalp. One with rare autoimmune disease whose husband has Parkinson’s. One with so many untreatable diseases and multiple back surgeries she is basically bed fast. Another in her late 80s recovering from colon cancer. One in her 90s recovering from colon cancer. Aging, disease and death just keep marching on. That is not even concerning the many wars around the world.

Twice I have found myself awake in the night and then my brain slips into overdrive ruminating with concern over these and several other situations. How do you stop that? Here are a few of my ideas.

I breathe in deeply to count of 4. Then exhale slowly to count of 8. This helps. This practice is easier if I have been practicing meditative prayer daily. Regardless, it can work. Lifting these concerns in prayer does not always bring me relief and get me back to sleep. Focus upon breathing can.

I imagine each person in the arms of Father God, those everlasting arms of care and love. Remembering that there is nothing I can do to change their situation, I let them go to the care of the Trinity. They are so much more concerned than I am, and so much more powerful to make a change in the circumstances.

The eternal God is your refuge,
And underneath are the everlasting arms
Deuteronomy 33:7a and b

This morning this song came on and I was reminded that this is the answer every time. Rest. Trust. Know none of us are alone. “I am sure the One who made me is catching every word.”

We can try to encourage the ones we know who are suffering. We can make a meal, deliver a flower, pay a visit. We can pray and send a card. We can lift them and let them know we are lifting them. We must also take care of ourselves. Just as the airline says, “In case of an emergency to put your mask on first,” we need to do our best to take care of ourselves if we hope to be an aide to others in their need. Pray, hope and most of all love one another. Share one another’s burdens. Trust God to do what is best in each situation.

33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33 NRSVUE

Give thanks for each life though there is suffering. We are each blessed to be alive though we may be disappointed with our state in life.

Bear one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 NRSVUE

Strength or Downfall?

I was looking for a way to express this to you and came across this website https://snugfam.com/your-greatest-strength-is-your-greatest-weakness-quote-exploring-meaning-examples/

The phrase “your greatest strength is your greatest weakness” is a powerful paradox that resonates across psychology, philosophy, and everyday life. It suggests that the very qualities that make us exceptional can also be our downfall if not understood and managed effectively. 

My friend is about to turn 93 years old. She lives alone and drives herself familiar places. She goes to social groups about 3 times a week. She is a happy Christian. She is aware that she might have to give up driving soon, but she drives an old beater car and is not worried about it. She has had a few episodes in her home where she has fallen.

Then she took a fall with catastrophic consequences. She was taken by ambulance to a hospital. After the ER they put her in intensive care. Three broken ribs, two broken vertebrae and one shattered vertebrae. Doctor told her if she had hit her head instead of her back she would not longer be with us. She told him God is not finished with her here yet. Two days later a step down unit. Then a rehab facility. She must wear a back brace anytime she is out of bed. She may not twist her torso or bend forward. She is not to lift anything over five pounds. She is determined to go home.

Most of us cannot imagine how she can possibly cope at home, alone? She says they are impressed at Physical Therapy by how strong she is. Granted she has been doing exercises at home and lifting her walker in and out of the trunk of her car by herself!

She tells her niece and me not to underestimate her. She has been stubbornly independent for years. Previously she would not let us help her even in simple ways. She told me once she would let me help when she needed it. There is only so much help that the Council on Aging can offer her. How can she possibility manage to live on her own again?

In my mind it is almost certain she will not be able to drive. She tells me they have her working in physical therapy to turn her head and get ready to drive again. She is to turn her body, not twist while driving.

On a recent visit, I was able to remind her twice, gently, that at times our greatest strength can become a stumbling block or weakness. Her stubbornness might prove to be just that? She considered the idea.

This woman is so accustomed to living alone I am certain living in the rehab facility with a roommate has been a challenge. I am certain she would relish being at home. It will likely take a few more weeks before they can entertain that idea. Her niece was placing an order yesterday for four grabbers to have around the house. I told her that was a good idea. In my experience you use one, put it down where you used it and then wonder where it is next time you need it!

Next time you are wondering how you will carry on, consider my friend at almost 93. Are you determined? Can you apply your determination with wisdom? Is there a middle road that will bring you both fulfillment and satisfaction? Can you balance your strengths and not let them become weaknesses?

I know that is a tall order, but you can do it!

Glorious Sunshine

I wanted to go out on the back deck to marvel at the sun and look to see if the Thumbelina daffodils had started to bloom yet. The dog was in front of the door. She could not decide if she wanted to go out or not. I slid open the door and growled at her “Go in or go out! I do not care!” After she moved I stepped outside. Before looking at the daffodil leaves I looked up and to my left sensing something looking at me. I saw this wonderful hawk in the nearby tree. It was not startled by my growling.

I texted Bob “Hawk on back deck.” knowing he would grab his camera and come see. His photos were much better than mine. Here was our visitor! He likely saw our feeder as a bait station. Like Sonic says, “You gotta eat!”

r m dutina
My favorite by r m dutina
r m dutina

“Is it by your wisdom that the hawk soars
    and spreads its wings toward the south?
27 Is it at your command that the eagle mounts up
    and makes its nest on high?
Job 39:26-27 NRSVUE

We often hear the hawks calling from high in the sky. Sometimes we can see them, sometimes not. We are always blessed when they come to close to us! God is in control of them, certainly not us!

My Praise Choruses

Many years ago I would occasionally hear a praise song in my mind. A melody, a set of words, and the next thing I knew I would be singing to the Lord.

I have never done anything with those praises except to write them down. This past year I made a new friend who wanted to put one on staff paper. She did it! And I am amazed.

We decided to pursue the rest of the songs. We have a priest who teaches us simple songs of faith. She is interested in these also, so that was a good impetus towards getting them to a state where they are ready to share.

So here is one melody. I recorded it while picking it out on a different friend’s electric keyboard that she loaned to me. My musical friend said she will likely put them in a key that is more singable.

LYRICS: The Great I Am

I know the great I AM
The great I AM knows me
I am content in this
I know the great I AM




It took me a bit to learn how to record the melody. Then how to upload it to the blog. Below is the music for you if you are interested in pursuing this further.

God’s Unquenchable Love

In the move to make worship easier for all our church uses a printed bulletin each week instead of the Book of Common Prayer and a hymnal. Last week in the Eucharistic prayer I was struck by these sentences.

Your redeeming work continued when through the Virgin Mary, you became incarnate in Jesus Christ, so that through him we might experience the depth and width of your unquenchable love.

No, I do not understand all of that language and do not presume to explain to you what I do believe about it. I do know that the love of God IS unquenchable and vast beyond our comprehension!

Have you tasted that unquenchable love in your life? Can you recall that moment and stay with it as the days of Lent unfold?

And again we prayed:

Send your Holy Spirit we pray, into these gifts of bread and wine and send your Holy Spirit into us, that we may RECOGNIZE each other as members of the same body, Christ’s hands and feet and heart, sent for the healing of the world.

Nothing is too difficult for our God. Help me Father to let you open my eyes to the wonders of your redeeming work. Help me recognize your people as members of the same body you have created for the healing of the world.

From one of my favorite artists

Nouwen

The discipline of gratitude is

the explicit effort to acknowledge that

all I am and have

is given to me

as a gift of love,

a gift to be celebrated with joy.

HENRI NOUWEN

Another quote posted by Gratitude.com. When Bob pointed out this morning that there was not a post today from my blog I was dismayed. How does that happen? I was certain I had written and posted 5 blogs for the week.

At times I list the wrong time of day for the post to appear. Other times I have simply not written 5 posts. There was no post for today. God only knows where my confusion and mistake occurred.

Nouwen says I must make an “explicit effort to acknowledge” being able to write is given to me as a gift of love, to be celebrated with joy. All that I am and have is given to me as a gift of love.

Here is the Nouwen icon written by Kelly Latimore.

Many years ago I read a few of Henri Nouwen’s books .I really liked them. I think that might be a good reading adventure for me in 2026.

When we pray our evening prayer over our dinner meal I am constantly reminded that we have been given so much. Our lives overflow with gifts. Repeatedly I am reminded to hold all things loosely. Are we aware of how quickly our lives may change and what we assumed was forever can be over in the blink of an eye. Do we continuously make that “explicit effort to acknowledge that all we are and have is a gift?”

My neighbor John just went past the window riding in the car as his wife drives. His vision has changed and he can no longer drive. The independence he knew previously is gone now. His red truck now belongs to his son.

My friend Myrtle took a fall in her bathroom. At 92 years old, having broken vertebrae and ribs is no laughing matter. Yet, when I visited her in person at the rehabilitation center she was still able to laugh. She is not allowed to twist her rib cage or bend forward. She loves the tiny house she lives in. She was driving herself every place. I cannot see how she will be able to return to her house or independence. She trusts that God is in control. She is certain that things will unfold as they should. Her future? God only knows. Since she can smile and trust certainly I must be able to also.

Gratitude is used in many places today. Are we applying it in the way that Nouwen suggested? Can we see even the uncomfortable areas in our lives as gift?

Another neighbor has some illness that has caused her to lose weight consistently without trying since Christmas. She suddenly turned yellow the other day. They are running tests and did a scan stat. Is it a blockage in a duct that needs removing or something more sinister?

How might your life change suddenly? Are you prepared to trust that God holds you in the palm of his hand and loves you? Are you conscious that every blessing in your life is a gift? Might you be willing to trust and wait patiently as what seems like unwelcome circumstances unfold?

Someone said, “It is all a gift.” Lean into that sentiment and be grateful.

Valentine

Recently our friend, Dan Cooksey posted this on his Monday funnies referring to Lucky.

Bob and I were sharing our joy over the photo. He began to wonder what if it said “Get a cat, they said, it will be fun they said.” What would happen if we had adopted a cat while Lucky was still living here. I reminded him that she has been known to curl up and sleep with a cat when other folks have housed her for us. He did not remember that.

With this being the traditional Valentine’s Day I thought I woudl share this with you.

I subscribe to a greeting card app called Jackie Lawson at https://www.jacquielawson.com/card/one-for-the-record/3563952

The card sends this video with the melody of “Let Me Call You Sweetheart” playing during the unfolding images. The final drawing reminded me of our conversation. If you click the link above you can watch and listen to the greeting.

Let me just take this moment to thank you, all of you, who read this blog. Occasionally someone will comment on the material and that just blesses me no end. I keep writing and posting hoping that something I send will help you along in your journey, perhaps boost your intention regarding how you live and worship.

Saint Valentine is said to have ministered to the faithful amidst persecution in the Roman Empire. In that case I raise awareness today to the many people who are speaking out against injustice and persecution amid this supposedly free country. May we move past paper hearts and commercial celebration of love in to real love for one another. May we pray for those who are blinded by darkness and who try to dim the Light of Christ, the Light of the world, in the United Sates of America, North and South America and around the world. May the powerful love of Christ reign and overwhelm the darkness. May even those who are blinded by the dark side be made aware of how much God loves them and wants them with the Trinity. May verbal and electronic persecution by our leaders end. God bring peace on earth we pray.

Recriminations and Breathing Room

For a week or perhaps 10 days, I got all complicated about my disciplines. We were having new flooring installed in the sitting/sewing room and in order to do that we basically dismantled the room. There was yarn and all manner of sewing things moved into the office. Writing in that space became more difficult as I could barely move my chair. Somehow that overflowed into my morning disciplines. Suffice it to say I lost my focus. It was easy to heap recriminations upon myself. But not productive!

The flooring is now installed. The contents of the room have been replaced and in their original order, sort of. I will have straightening to do for many hours in the future. When we moved the yarn holders (think cloth shoe pouches that hang from the closet pole) yarn and crochet thread went all over the place.

This morning, when I sat down in my prayer chair, I realized I’d left my tablet some place. Remembered I had used my iPad in the living room. I went to retrieve it and there was no charge left. Even the attached keyboard failed to have any power. So my approach to prayer centering was greatly disrupted. That was not all bad.

Looking for a way to firmly connect with the Spirit of God, I remembered all the times I did that without any electronic devices. Just me, the Book of Common Prayer, my Bible, perhaps a dictionary and a desire to know, and be known by my God. This was a masterful reset. I know I stepped away from my disciplines, not deliberately but a little shift here, a little shift there, a little anxiety here about Bob and the dog walking in icy weather, distraction by A B and C, and next thing I knew I was walking an unproductive path.

The meditation I listened to via my smart phone spoke about finding some breathing room. And that is what I have done this morning. I have some breathing room and a path forward to better union with the Trinity.

So hopefully, now I have regained some perspective. I once again have a renewed awareness of how easy it is to abandon the way of life that is so very good for me. I found myself stumbling about with the way of self in the world. It was not fulfilling. Just frustrating and like sawdust to my soul and spirit.

Father, thank you for showing me myself clearly. Help me above all else to hunger for and maintain my connection to you. You are the source of life. You are living water to me. Keep me and direct my ways to the glory of your name. Amen.

The Rule of Saint Benedict says, “Always, we begin again.”

Daily Quote

I receive daily quotes from several sources. The ones from Every Moment Holy tend to be from one publication for a week or more. Then they will choose a different volume of liturgies to quote from. They books they publish run along a theme for the liturgies in each volume.

Here is their website https://www.everymomentholy.com/ They offer several volumes for sale, free printable liturgies from various topics and other materials on the site.

Let me glimpse in growing things, some hint of your unseen kingdom. Let me shape here a living poetry that whispers words of grace to all who pause to listen. From A Liturgy for Yard Work 1 from Volume 3. I would love to quote more from this, but I have loaned my books to a Pastor at our church!

Last autumn my sister sent me flower arrangements from a company in California that prides itself on sustainable arrangements with little environmental damage from pesticides and fertilizers.

Notice the succulent in the center of each arrangement?

The instructions said after the flowers faded I was to remove the succulent from the water tube it was in and plant it in a pot of soil to get it rooting.

They arrived in early November. This is how they appear in early February! The base of the flower pot is small enough to fit in the large plastic pharmacy pill bottle top for a saucer!

No, they do not look quite as nice as when they first arrived, but they are still alive!! I am tempted to trim off those outer leaves, but I decided not to do that yet. If they shrivel and look unhealthy by late winter/spring I might.

Let me glimpse in growing things, some hint of your unseen kingdom. Let me shape here a living poetry that whispers words of grace to all who pause to listen. ” Do you glimpse in these growing things some hint of the unseen kingdom? Does the photo come to your eyes as ‘living poetry that whispers of grace to all who pause to listen?’

Apple photos identified the plant as Echeveria. https://worldofsucculents.com/grow-care-echeveria/ has detail on how to grow it. “Thanks to their charming rosettes and gorgeous water-storing leaves, Echeverias are among the most popular succulent plants. Echeverias are one of the easiest succulents to propagate. They are usually propagated by offsets or leaves, but they can also be grown from stem cuttings and seeds. The best time to separate offsets and take cuttings is in the spring.

Guess I do not need to worry about those shriveled leaves, “Echeveria is self-pruning. All you may need to do is pick out the dead leaves or flowers. Removing dead leaves prevents rot or disease from taking over the plant.”Seems the shriveled leaves may have been due to lack of water. (This house is SO DRY this winter I am tempted to purchase a humidifier!)

May your find reflections of glory and glimmers of God’s presence wherever you look today!

Winter Weather Plans

A group of friends began a group text message. I usually do not enjoy those, as some folks text on and on for hours. They were sharing how they would entertain themselves as the bitter cold and snow moved in. From fantasizing about Chantilly cake to watching football.

Bob and I attended a “staged reading” by Friends of the Groom, hoping to get home before the winter storm hit. (Indeed we did.) Here is a summary of what we saw.

This is a big treatment of a very big story. For a work still in development, it was impressively delivered. The cast wore coordinated black attire accented by select costume pieces, allowing imagination to do much of the work. Alan Pote served as musical director and pianist, while Tom Long staged the reading and coordinated the accompanying slides, projected on the side of the stage area, suggesting future scenic and battle designs. A review from https://www.leagueofcincytheatres.info/in-development-francis-the-man-from-assisi/

Francis at the center with brown shoulder cover
Jocelyn and Tom are both in the back row

After the performance, taking our cue from Dan Cooksey’s favorite habit of having ice cream for dinner, we went to UDF. Made it home without incident. Later in the evening the snow began.

So my plans were to make wild rice porridge with cranberries and hazelnuts, crock pot oatmeal (because it is the creamiest and best), pumpkin pie filling without the crust (yum!) and make a winter hat for my neighbor.

I got the breakfast foods done. Tore up my thumb crocheting. I think I am getting to where a cortisone injection may be needed? The hat is done. A brace on my hand for 2 nights and one day now.

I have been setting up communication with the prayer teams at our church. That is not working too well yet. I am practicing praise choruses so my friend can write them on staff paper for those who read music at the church. I am editing all of the poetry for publication through Kindle Direct. Another friend is formatting that.

I have dressing balls to make that I never got made at Thanksgiving, Shepherd’s pie for Bob and who knows what else? Or right, coconut pudding pie!

I am so busy I decided to stay home Wednesday morning as bitter cold will still be here and I have too much to do! So I write this to you hoping you have had things you enjoy to keep you distracted from being cooped up at home?

All too soon we are likely to be running around with long lists of to do, to buy, to go see. As the earth is resting under the snow, may you also find rest in this fallow time. To everything there is time and a season, a time for every purpose under heaven. Ecclesiastes 3