Category: Surrender

Posted on in Aging, Faith, Illness and Health, Rest, Surrender, Yield

Pause to Reflect

Life is a gift that is given and will be taken. How we choose to spend our time here is our gift to life. It is our way of saying “thank you life” for the gift.

IMUETINYAN UGIAGBE

Recently, I have had reasons to pause and reflect on this saying. I have a new ongoing health crisis that is now in the “wait for next test results” stage before finalizing an action plan. That is why I did not post much last week. I went some place between shock and disbelief. Here is the story.

Last autumn the Internist heard a heart murmur that had not been there before. He ordered an echo-cardiogram to obtain a reference point. It was scheduled for January 3.

During the test the technician was very professional. It was indeed strange to see my beating heart on the screen! At one point he moved the wand and seemed startled. He asked, “Do you have a pace maker!?!” I replied no. I asked “What did you see?” He said just something that was not supposed to be there, and continued the testing.

The results came on “My Chart” a couple days later. They reveal several heart problems. If the measurement is correct, the most alarming is a”severely dilated ascending aortic of 4.9 cm”. The Internist called promptly and referred me to Dr. Miles, who read the Echo and is a friend of his. Just so happened the cardiologist would be in the same office complex the next week and had openings. I said to sign me up.

I began reading up on heart conditions. True, my Dad died of progressive heart disease but that was in the 1960s – an eon ago in medical advances. None of it sounded good. My Internist told me not to panic. Easy to say, much harder to accomplish. I read to educate myself, not panic myself, but get some clue as to what could happen and where this might go. There were discussions in our house if it was a dilated aorta or an aneurysm. Dilation can lead to aneurysm.

When I finally met with Cardiologist (along with my husband and sister) my first question was is this a dilation or an aneurysm. He answered in no uncertain terms “Aneurysm.” At that visit my Blood pressure was higher than I had ever known it to be: 178/104. Oh golly. The week before at Internist office it was 134/77. Obviously I was very scared at this appointment.

Cardiologist added a beta blocker to my medications. He wants by BP at 120/80 to which my sister laughed out loud and said “Good luck with that!” His preliminary assessment is to get a Cardiac MRI with and without dye. There are only a few places in Cincinnati to get those. Mine is now scheduled for March 6. If the original measurements are correct and nothing has changed he may adopt a wait and see approach and run more tests in 6 months. If the measurement reaches 5 cm or more he would want a surgeon to take action.

The action would not be a stent. It would be total replacement of aorta. (I keep asking myself, ‘Is this MY body they are talking about?”) The means open heart surgery, compete with all the by-pass machines, etc.

Shock. Startled. Unbelieving. Roll it all in one and multiply. You might get an understanding of why I could not write much last week.

My problem is in the one indicated by light yellow block, largest vessel in the human body.

My blood pressure has stayed high. Not as high as in the office, but too high for me. Bob suggested I go into Internist office and have them check our home machine. (It NEVER reads correctly on him, always too high.) It checked out within a few points of the office traditional cuff. The internist called in a bit and doubled one medication I have been on. He said if it it did not drop over the weekend to add another tablet of the same kind. So I am up to 3 of those tablets now. This morning it was not as low as cardiologist wanted, but so much better at 123/99. I took the reading after only 1/2 cup of coffee. Doc just suggested I reduce caffeine as that can have an effect. Need to report results to him in a few days.

My daughter insisted I get a second opinion. She believes the first opinion is too aggressive. I have an appointment after the MRI with a cardiologist from a different hospital system. Bob thought I should see her after the MRI so she has all the latest info.

So now we wait. My dad died of heart disease. My mother of high blood pressure. Neither of them had an autopsy so we are not certain the final causes. I have a great support team of friends and church family. The Lord keeps providing scripture verses to help me stay calm. I had actually just upgraded my subscription to the Calm app and now have access to all kinds of materials for my benefit.

When I was first facing this I thought about the idea of getting an editor and publishing some of my writing. I was prompted to look at Microsoft Word again. It used to have a way to publish a booklet. Now there are templates you can use! I got to work with a booklet template, copying and pasting what I had already edited myself into pages. I had it ready for a first printing and could not get the thing to print! Went back the next day, still not able to print it correctly. Eventually Bob said to put it on a flash drive and let him try on his computer. I did, he did. I read him the printing directions I had downloaded. The margins said to set it at 2.54 cm. I had never seen and could not find a cm setting. Bob said, “Oh that is one inch.” Internally, I gasped. That makes this aneurysm two inches if they measured correctly. I think normal size is one inch.

At first what came up on Bob’s screen looked a mess. I was so relieved the original copy remained on my computer! Then he got it to print. With the margins changed, I had so much editing to do regarding page numbers, etc., but what a tremendous relief! When I had the first draft printed I took it to him and said, “Here. If something catastrophic happens to me, at least you can say I got it printed!” He is certainly my editor in chief!

The good news is I am considered a good candidate for surgery. (WAIT! Didn’t I just do this last January?!? Yep, shoulder repair.) We will learn results from the MRI sometime in March. I am on the waiting list if there is a cancellation earlier. There are restrictions though to prep for the test. “Nothing by mouth 4 hours in advance. No caffeine 12 hours prior.”

I have not told everyone I know as it is just too much to keep everyone updated. So please, do not be offended if I did not tell you. I am in a place of dizzying news and that is not counting the medication changes!

What do I need? Prayer of all sorts! If I come to mind, please pray. If you hear of someone with heart troubles, please pray for me, too. Bob and I are facing this in different ways, so pray for us to stay always united! Pray and pray some more, please.

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Family, Memories, Nature, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Trust, Yield

Tradition

When I was a child I remember my parents taking me to the Krohn Conservatory here in Cincinnati to see the nativity scene with live animals. When Bob and I moved back to this area I took him, and he, too, was enchanted. So we made it our habit to bring the children and then for a while the grandchildren to see the same wonder. We even took an elderly friend once and she was delighted!

This year we visited it alone. I love to watch the children delight in the animals. One toddler was telling the cow “Moo!” Another stooped over a little bit to look between the bars of the fence (there to keep us separate from the animals and characters). He was so cute and reminded me of our own kids at one time. The sheep were way out in the grassy yard. We could not figure out how to get them to come closer. Some of the young adults wanted to see the sheep up close. On one occasion one year they were so close we could pet them. This year they did not want to move.

photo by r m dutina

We waited around awhile to watch the families come through. Then I noticed a man leaned over the fence making a motion with his hand as if he had a treat in it. The sheep began to stir. He was not making a sound. I told him we had been trying to figure out how to get the sheep to move, and here he did it with a simple gesture. He replied, “Well, they are my sheep.”

Who better to scratch your ear than your own shepherd!

Sure enough in a matter of mere moments he had them up and moving towards him. One kiddo was delighted and kept saying “Sheep! Sheep!” The shepherd made a few clicking sounds and they came closer to the fence. He did not have treats, but those sheep obviously knew their shepherd. The shepherd told us he worked there at the Krohn and would slip out from time to time to visit his sheep. I thanked him for sharing them with us. Bob told him that we had been coming for years and all the delight those sheep brought to us and others we brought to visit.

Finally this one came to check us out. photo by r m dutina

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. 28 I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. 29 My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. John 10:27-31 NIV

My prayer is that now and throughout the coming year you would follow the voice, and touch, and signals from your Shepherd. The Great Shepherd of the sheep loves you immensely.

Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, 21 equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen. Hebrews 13:20-21 ESV

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Poetry, Spiritual growth, Surrender

Impermanence and Death

Remember the ring above worn by Jonathan Roumie? It so fits with this post!

I thought of the quote below recently when I attended a Zoom book discussion of The Book of Joy. I was very late but did not want to miss the group entirely. I could not recall the poem at the time so I looked it up later. I guess the framed version I used to have was edited to the calligrapher’s liking, because I do not remember anything about a cloud of smoke.

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!”
― Hunter S. Thompson, The Proud Highway: Saga of a Desperate Southern Gentleman, 1955-1967

Rather I think of it like I will skid into heaven with a mouthful of chocolate, used up … etc. I might even be late arriving!

Our discussion that night was on chapter about the Illness and Fear of Death. Not a topic most of us enjoy. I once heard. “Change is inevitable. Come to accept it.” I do not know a single human who actually likes change, do you? I wrote about this once before here https://wordpress.com/post/treasures-in-plain-sight.org/153

Impermanence can also be a comfort! I am promised a new body after my death. That will be a relief!! Things will not always remain the same and that is great news regarding the things I absolutely cannot stand.

How about you? As you practice holding all things loosely can you rejoice in the impermanence of life? What might you loosen your grip on? What topic plagues you with negative thinking? Perhaps you could remind yourself that it will not ALWAYS be like this!

When my children were growing up, especially when they were in high school I was sorrowful. Many people asked, “Can’t you be excited about who they will become? What their future holds?” What I had a difficult time explaining was that I so enjoyed being a mother and knowing they were about to fledge from our nest made me sorrowful. No, they hardly need a mother these days. I don’t think they will not really miss me until I leave this earth. The impermanence of life hit me hard in those days.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu speaking in the Book of Joy spoke much about death.

“Because God is God, because God is infinite, because none of us who are creatures will ever fathom the infinitude that is God, heaven is going to be forever a place of new discovery.” The author, Douglas Abrams, goes on to say, Perhaps death and the fear of death is truly the greatest challenge to joy. Well, when we are dead, it does not really matter, but it is the of its approaching, of the suffering that often precedes it, and ultimately the fear of the oblivion and the loss of our person hood that frighten us. Many psychologists say the fear of death lies behind all other fears, and many historians of religion argue that religion arose to try to solve the mystery of death. Modern life keeps that fear at bay, as we don’t interact with the very old or the very sick, and illness, frailty, and death get tucked away behind institutional walls from our everyday lives.

Death is part of our life. Fact. I always opine that none of us are getting out of here alive, unless Jesus comes before we die. And even in living, we are exhorted to die to self! The Dalai Lama pointed out that “the Buddha’s last teaching at the time of his death ends with the truth of impermanence, reminding us how it is the nature of all things that come into existence to have an end. The Buddha said nothing lasts.”

“Everything is in a constant state of change – nothing remains static, and nothing remains permanent,” he reminded them. “What is important to remember is that sooner or later death to comes and to make our life meaningful while we’re alive.” Another contributor to the book, Jinpa, mentioned,”The true measure of spiritual development is how one confronts one’s won mortality. The best way is when one is able to approach death with joy; the next best way is without fear; third best way is at least not to have regrets.”

Guess we each have work to do as we review those ways, checking our own heart and moving towards our inevitable end! May this season as winter approaches, find you ready to perform some of that important self examination. Blessing, Molly D.

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18 NIV

So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 NIV

Posted on in Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Family, Memories, Rest, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Yield

Psalm 36

Often sung but have you believed and lived it?

7 How precious is your steadfast love, O God!
    All people may take refuge in the shadow of your wings.
8 They feast on the abundance of your house,
    and you give them drink from the river of your delights.
9 For with you is the fountain of life;
    in your light we see light. Psalm 36:7-9

Even Amy Carmichael in The Edges of His Ways comments on abundance using Romans 5

Much more they which receive abundance of grace . . . shall reign in life by One, Jesus Christ. Romans 5:17

There is a lovely word in this verse, it is “abundance.” The word is translated “overflowing” in Weymouth and elsewhere, and Way has “The measureless overflowing of the fountain of the grace of God.” This is the grace that is ready to help us in time of need, this and nothing less. Thank God, He does not measure out grace in teaspoons. The measureless overflowings of the fountain are for each one of us today. Need we fail? NEVER.

How can we comprehend this abundance? Have you tried to drink from this fountain?

Often at Christmas we overwhelm ones we love with gifts. Did you realize that was God’s idea first? When gifting our kids at Christmas we often chose to only give them three since that is what the Wise Men brought to Jesus at His birth. This year I found myself stuffing more than one gift in each bag!

Love, grace, delights, life, and light to name a few. Amy says each one of us need these everyday. Sit with your heavenly Father and make yourself receptive to His gifts DAILY. It makes a tremendous difference!

Posted on in Collection of Quotes, Faith, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Trust

Prayers Among Christians and Buddhists

Have you ever thought of prayer in terms of giving and taking, receiving and offering, letting God use your offering as God sees fit? This blog offers a few how-tos. I hope to draw parallels between the faiths in an understandable and useful way.

Dalai Lama speaks in The Book of Joy about the practice of Tonglen. At the end of the book there are Joy Practices and Tonglen is included. I am not skilled with Word Press lists, but the basic steps are as follows:

  1.  Begin by settling your mind with several long breaths through your nose.
  2. Think of someone who is suffering. You can choose a loved one, a friend, or even a whole group of people, such as refugees.
  3. Reflect on the fact that, just like you, they wish to overcome suffering and to be joyful. Try to feel a sense of concern for the well-being of the person or group you are focusing on. Feel deep within your heart the desire for them to be free of suffering.
  • 4. For my own practice I move here to the teachings of Christianity and plead the Blood of Jesus over myself. I also take on the Whole Armor of God. The Word says the Blood of Jesus has mighty power and along with the Armor of God (Ephesians 6) brings us protection and power. If you place your palms about 5 or 6 inches apart, you can sense the power of life that is within you. This power through Christ is full of Light. He is the Light of the world, and darkness cannot put it out. John 1:5
  • 5.  Taking their suffering. As you inhale, imagine the pain being drawn from the other person (or peoples) and dissolving when it encounters the warmth and bright light of your compassionate heart. Imagine their suffering dissolving into the bright orb of light in front of you that is radiating out from your hands and compassionate heart.
  • 6. Give out your joy. As you exhale, imagine that you are sending the person rays of light filled with your love and compassion, your courage and your confidence, your strength and your joy.
  • 7. Repeat this practice of taking the suffering and transforming it by giving your joy.

The Catholic faith has a practice of “Offering Up Suffering to God. “Bear one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.: Galatians 6:2 NRSV I researched this a bit online as I did not totally understand how to explain it. I have heard of the same sort of prayers from others, especially the missionary Amy Carmichael. The article I consulted says it was written ‘by an anonymous priest.” https://laycistercians.com/how-to-offer-up-suffering/

Anonymous priest wrote, “You do this by making a small prayer or intention. You can simply ask God to apply the offering of your pain to help the person you are praying for in whatever way God sees fit. For example:

“Lord, I offer up the pain of this migraine for {this person}, asking You to bring them comfort, healing, or strength in their struggle. May my suffering unite with Your suffering (on the cross) to bring grace into that life.”

The goal is to unite your suffering to the suffering of Jesus on the cross and offer it as a means of healing to another person. You’re placing your pain before God, who knows how to use it for the best.

GOD KNOWS HOW TO USE WHAT YOU OFFER

“As a result you grow in patience, humility and empathy for others by offering up your pain. Offering your suffering can be a form of intercessory prayer, in which you ask God to intervene on behalf of others.”

Does it work? I am no healing expert, but it certainly cannot hurt you or the other person if prayed wisely and consciously. I always insist on being under the covering of Christ for this type of prayer. Jesus warned in Matthew 10, 28 and John 17 that we need His protection against the evil one and his minions.

Wikipedia says: Tong means “giving or sending”, and len means “receiving or taking”

Pema Chodron, a Buddhist priest says of Tonglen, You breathe in with the wish that those human beings could be free of that suffering, and you breathe in with the longing to remove their suffering. And then you send out – just relax …. Send enough space so that peoples’ hearts and minds feel big enough to live with their discomfort, fear, their anger or their despair, whatever the form of suffering takes.

So the in-breath you breath in with the wish to take away the suffering, and breathe out the wish to send comfort and happiness to the same people. The principal aim is to develop one’s own selfless and empathic qualities more than or at least as much as creating a real difference for others.

Taking on suffering does not mean to burden oneself with the misery of the world, but rather to acknowledge its existence and accept it. This makes it possible to increase one’s own peace of mind at the same time as acknowledging suffering and disharmony, so there is less contradiction than there might have been.

So where does that leave the rest of us? Most of us have experienced suffering of some sort during our lifetime. Perhaps the next time you are confronted by your own suffering or that of another you could try this combination of prayer forms?

Prayer of give and take. Prayers of substitution. Name it as you wish. We all know someone or many someones who are suffering. I just ask you to try it on behalf of another. Wouldn’t this be an amazing world if we prayed this for one another!? Love this image!

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Obedience, Rest, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Yield

Too Many Lists?

My mind is a-whirl with things to cook, gifts to buy, gifts to make in preparation for our celebration of the birthday of our King. I do not think this is His highest and best for me. Emmanuel calls me to walk and talk with the Trinity Majesty even as Christmas approaches! People ask me, “How are you?” I reply, “Too busy for my own good!” Just like some folks say they are too busy to pray, wise men say they are too busy NOT to pray.

Mindfulness is helping me to tame these thoughts. It is not easy to sit and try to just breathe and be here now. Not easy, but so worthwhile. The most important thing for me this year is to remember Whose birthday is it. Lay stuff aside and just rest in our Risen Christ.

If you really have no clue about mindfulness, National Institutes of Health published this short article that is worth your time to read. https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2012/01/mindfulness-matters

In the article below Psychreg points out that mindfulness has many benefits:

  • It gives you control over your emotions
  • Helps you manage fatigue and pain
  • Improves brain function and moods
  • Makes you more compassionate
  • Enhances the quality of sleep
  • Manages anxiety, depression, and stress
  • Improves your overall well-being
  • Strengthens your character
  • Increases your productivity
  • Increase insight
Why Mindfulness Is Important  

Bob and I both had a lousy night last night. So though I practiced mindfulness meditation yesterday and this morning, I need to sign off for a nap. Here is our story: We both had just gotten to sleep when the power went out and then his oxygen machine began beeping when it came back on. That woke me too. About 10 minutes later it went off again and this time did not come back on. We both used the bathroom. The dog was asking, “What is going on?” We got back in bed. Bob was restless with pain and I was not much better off. Finally, I fell asleep and then an hour later my continuous glucose monitor began signaling that my glucose was low. I woke up thinking it was his alarm and he was saying, “That one is yours!” Grrr. With flashlight and iPhone in hand I went to the kitchen. It was raining and windy out. We are not usually effected by weather as our power lines run underground. I ate some things. Drank some milk that was not the freshest tasting. Thought about just sleeping in my recliner. Nope! it is powered by electricity and his chair is not comfortable. About then I decided I better get back in bed before I froze. As I was turning off the flashlight, the power came back on. Ugh! All the timers on coffee pot and Christmas decoration would have to be re-set. I finally read some more on my iPad and went to asleep. I awoke at 4AM drenched in sweat. Threw off some covers and did not awake again until 5:30 or so? Bob was still asleep. I dozed off and the next thing I knew it was time to get up. Ugh. I am tired.

So I hope you can see the benefits of mindfulness, even though it cannot keep you from nights like our lousy one.

Oops! Artist spelled couple wrong. It’s not like I ever post a misspelling! She is showing areas where mindfulness can help us.

Posted on in Challenge, Faith, Obedience, Poetry, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Trust, Yield

Hineni and Immanuel

Seems like a long post to me, or perhaps it was just difficult for me to write? WordPress estimates it as about 4 minutes reading time?

The drawing below is me, yielded to Immanuel. It is an attempt to illustrate the poem.

Sometime in the 1990s I wrote this and it still expresses my heart today. I especially recall this poem in the Advent season as we await the celebration of the birth and coming again of our King.

HERE AM I COLLECTION © 1993-2014  Molly Lin Dutina
Here am I, stuff of earth
But by the Spirit's power rebirth
has brought me receptivity.
Fill me with Yourself.
Molded by Your Holy Hand
I wait before You
Cupped and ready,
cleansed, atoned
waiting for Your radiant touch
Virtue compelled to enfold Your own
the vessel of Your making.
Here am I, stuff of earth
yielded for Messiah's birth
be it unto me, O Lord,
as in Your word and will.
The Great I AM
dwells in my heart
there to impart the power
courage and propulsion for
His dream to be fulfilled.

So what does that have to do with the Hebrew word Hineni? First I am learning to pronounce it correctly.

I had heard this word before in a sermon some place and then was reintroduced to it in the book series Sensible Shoes. The character was learning to pronounce it regardless of what life sent her way. Eventually I realized, “Wait! I have a series of short poems that begin with ‘Here am I.” Well, duh, Molly.

The declaration “Here am I” or ‘Hineni’ is more than telling God your geographic location. It is a powerful declaration of surrender and complete availability to God. We are saying we will do whatever the LORD asks, not even knowing in advance what that might entail. Reworded from https://firmisrael.org/learn/here-am-i-the-hebrew-meaning-of-hineni/

Examples are given of Abraham, Moses and Samuel all saying “hineni” to God, with readiness to pay attention or follow instructions. God can make this declaration, too!

“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
    and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
    and break every yoke?
7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry
    and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
    and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
    and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness[a] will go before you,
    and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.
9 Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;
    you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.” Isaiah 58:6-9 NIV

The declaration that “God with us” is a name for Jesus, Immanuel or Emmanuel, is huge. The fact that Jesus is both man and God should make us consider what that entails. I think I could ponder the impact of that declaration the rest of my days here on earth and not get to the end of the meaning.

What does it mean to you that the Word declares that Jesus is said to be God with us? What does it mean that the same God wants to dwell within you? Can you capture that meaning in a few sentences? I have not been able to do it.

Immanuel is a masculine Hebrew name meaning “God with us” or “God is with us.” The name Immanuel appears in the Bible three times, twice in the Old Testament book of Isaiah (7:14 and 8:8), and once in the Gospel of Matthew (1:23).

An alternate spelling of the name Immanuel is Emmanuel, which comes from the Septuagint, the Greek translation of the Hebrew Old Testament. Immanuel, spelled with an I, is the translation of the original Hebrew name into English, whereas Emmanuel, spelled with an E, is a translation of a translation (from Hebrew to Greek to English). https://www.gotquestions.org/what-does-Immanuel-mean.html

Greek, Hebrew, does it really matter? Can you embrace the meaning?!? Embrace the spelling that speaks to you heart. Can you allow this God to dwell with you and in you? Could this be a Christmas where you make the celebration all about the Mysterious Trinity come to dwell in you?

I was trying to listen to a song by Leonard Cohen called “You Want it Darker” and found it very disturbing, even though it has Hineni in the lyrics. Then I found this commentary from a Rabbi on that very song and the music of Leonard. If you have the time, I think you will find it VERY enlightening as to how the Jewish people embrace Hineni. (Maybe I need to get this tattooed on my arm. Even after taking notes and then writing this blog I STILL do not know how to spell it on my own!)

Posted on in Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Family, Illness and Health, Just do it, Memories, Obedience, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Trust, Yield

How Do You Hold Things?

Perhaps in the opening photo you noticed the hand on my dashboard? I cannot remember if I posted this story previously or not. If I did you still might want to read this as I finally located the complete story online.

When our kids were young teenagers I bought a dismembered hand at a Halloween store for my own object lesson. The hand I bought then was very flexible. I cut the “blood” off the cuff and placed it on the dashboard to remind me to hold the children loosely. They thought it was hilarious as every time we hit a bump the fingers would vibrate and bounce. No idea where that hand is today, but I needed another one this autumn.

I started by shopping at the original shop where I had bought it. No such thing. The one they asked to be sent from the downtown location was not right and too bloody. Shop keeper assured me they could sell it.

Finally found something similar on Amazon and had it sent to the house. Cut the blood off the cuff. It is not as bouncy but still holds the same message.

Recently I was in anguish seeking wisdom from the Lord. On the way to our trysting location I heard I should try Chuck Swindoll. Originally I had read the object lesson in a book of daily devotions compiled from his teachings. Have absolutely no idea what that book was called. Sure enough the example was available online. I do not think I ever read his entire telling of it.

Here goes: Shortly before her death, Corrie ten Boom attended our church in Southern California. Following the worship service, I met briefly with her, anxious to express my wife’s and my love and respect for her faithful example. She inquired about my family . . . how many children, their ages—that sort of thing. She detected my great love for each one and very tenderly admonished me to be careful not to hold on to them too tightly. Cupping her wrinkled hands in front of me, she passed on a statement of advice I’ll never forget. I can still recall that strong Dutch accent: “Pastor Swindoll, you must learn to hold everything loosely … everything. Even your dear family. Why? Because the Father may wish to take one of them back to Himself, and when He does, it will hurt you if He must pry your fingers loose.” And then, having tightened her hands together while saying all that, she slowly opened them and smiled so kindly as she added, “Remember … hold everything loosely … everything” In the back of my mind I can still hear her words.

I retained “Hold everything loosely, because the Father may wish to change things and it will hurt you if He must pry your fingers loose. Hold everything loosely … everything.”

I cannot remember how many times I have shared that lesson. Just this morning I learned that my dear friend from childhood had a terrible report from her husband’s MRI. “It showed metastases to the spine, pelvis and lymph nodes. He has been under the care of a team – urology, oncologist and radiation oncologist for prostate cancer. They were pretty certain it had spread to the bones somewhere but not certain where. Until now it had not shown up on any scans.” On her behalf I am holding her husband loosely as I pray for them as a couple walking through this.

Since my husband almost died in 2018 I have rejoiced in every day that I still have with him. I cannot say I have practiced holding him loosely. As the Father has allowed things to change with one family member I have remembered the pain of having my fingers pried loose.

In most circles this is called non-attachment. I find it especially difficult to do in regards to family members and those we love dearly.

So the hand remains on my dashboard. I pray that you, too, will able to open your hands and hold all things loosely. Corrie ten Boom was a woman of intense wisdom learned through unbelievable suffering and cruelty in the concentration camp in Germany. If you have not read her biography, “The Hiding Place” I encourage you to get it and brace yourself for a telling of the comfort and power of God. It is in print, was made into a movie, and also a play.

Perhaps you can adopt this posture as you pray.

Posted on in Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Family, Just do it, Listen, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Yield

Hope

Hope is a thin and slippery thing, sorely tested and hard to come by in this culture. Hope reminds us that there is nothing in life we have not faced that we did not, through God’s gifts and graces—however unrecognized at the time—survive. Hope is the recall of good in the past, on which we base our expectation of good in the future, however bad the present. It digs in the rubble of the heart for memory of God’s promise to bring good out of evil and joy out of sadness and, on the basis of those memories of the past, takes new hope for the future. Even in the face of death. Even in the fear of loss. Even when our own private little worlds go to dust, as sooner or later, they always do.

Advent calls us to hope in the promise that God is calling us to greater things and will be with us as we live them.
                      —Joan Chittister, excerpts from “Unwrap the Gifts of Advent”

Have you embraced hope yet this Advent season? I just loved when we were in Church this past Sunday and the Priest declared, “Happy New Year!” for Advent is the beginning of the New Year for the liturgical church. I was feeling neither happy nor joyful when I walked in. Even after participating in communion I was wavering in my own cares. As the day wore on I finally worked my way out of that situation with good reminders from Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama.

I was reminded in The Book of Joy that most of my suffering that day was due to “too much self-regard.”

“The more time you spend thinking about yourself, the more suffering you will experience.”
― Dalai Lama XIV, The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World

Some distasteful events around Thanksgiving that upset me were less unsettling when I embraced much less, much, much less self-regard. The choices of another had more to do with them than with me. An act of kindness that was not needed sent me into a tailspin, but that was due to another not being truthful and clear. When I decided to let my feelings go and choose the path of compassion and peace I was settled rapidly.

None of this is easy, but I am trying to learn. Like I have said, I read this book several years ago and I gleaned a lot of wisdom from it. I know I did not take the lessons and practices to heart and I wish I had. Perhaps I would be on a more even keel now if I had?

Hope reminds us that there is nothing in life we have not faced that we did not, through God’s gifts and graces—however unrecognized at the time—survive. Joan Chittister

Though there are times when life is painful we can embrace the fact that through God’s gifts and graces we can survive this, too.

Victor Frankl wrote in Man’s Search for Meaning, We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.

No matter what family members may send your way the rest of this year, you have the freedom to choose your attitude in any given circumstance. It took me a few days to make my way through this, and I am not proud of the pain the midst of that delay, but I eventually chose grace and compassion for the person. The wise men in The Book of Joy state repeated that the greatest thing to lose on earth is one’s compassion for others; losing one’s heart and losing one’s humanity.

My soul still occasionally spouts off snide remarks about the event, but Brother Lawrence continues to remind me that “Useless thoughts spoil everything, and much mischief begins there.” If I want to live with composure, peace and joy I must “take captive those thoughts to Christ Jesus” (2 Corinthians 10:5) and let God have the final word even in the way I think!

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Challenge, Faith, Humor, Music, Nature, Praise, Prayer, Surrender, Thanks

Seeing and Being Grateful

This is the time of year when there is much talk about giving thanks. The election made many of us question so many things. Perhaps it is time to get away from politics and back to the basics of faith?

How do we see the world as sacred again? By radical noticing. Looking for awe in all of life. -Lucy Jones

Regardless of whether your candidate won or lost, the world is still sacred. The majority of human beings are still kind. We were in traffic the other day and there were two other drivers actually letting folks turn left in front of them. We were delighted to witness that people can still be kind after all the ugly rhetoric that has been flying.

“Radical noticing.”

The leaves have finally all fallen from our spindly little oak tree out front. There is a nest that remains. Occasionally a bird will perch on the edge of the empty nest awaiting its turn at the feeder. I do not know who lived right in my front yard, right outside my window in our office where I write this blog. I find that amazing! I thought I was observant. Looking for awe in all of life, I missed that one! If I had a drone camera I would send you a picture of that architectural wonder nestled right along the trunk of that oak!

“Looking for awe in all of life.”

I asked Alexa to play music by George Winston during dinner the other night. Suddenly the theme from a Charlie Brown Thanksgiving came on. I thought, “Stupid Alexa. I asked for George Winston.” Ha! There is a George Winston collection called Thanksgiving and it not only has that song but also the Great Pumpkin Waltz and others. I had no idea, I just know I like his arrangements and compositions.

Time to take notice of the little things in life that have gone right past me. Eyes off politics and back to the wonders of creation and music and the Word of God.

Don’t be anxious about anything; rather, bring up all of your requests to God in your prayers and petitions, along with giving thanks. Then the peace of God that exceeds all understanding will keep your hearts and minds safe in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

Jesus took the bread in his hands and gave thanks to God. Then he passed the bread to the people, and he did the same with the fish, until everyone had plenty to eat. John 6:11

Be filled with the Spirit; speaking one to another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; giving thanks always for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father. Ephesians 5:18-20

In every thing give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18

My friend Dan posted the photo below. Love it!