Category: Surrender

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Family, Humor, Joy, Praise, Prayer, Surrender, Thanks

The Pre-Thanksgiving Shenanigans

So about all I had left to do was to make the pumpkin pies for the celebration. I also planned to make my almost sugarless pumpkin filling for my diabetic self. In case you are not aware, pumpkin pie filling is a custard that starts out incredibly runny and firms up as it bakes.

I was using my Kitchen aid mixer which I am still getting accustomed to.

A screw fell out of the mixer, but I was so grateful it did not go into the filling! I went to turn the mixer off and slid the switch the wrong direction. (See that sliding button above that says stir 2 4 6 8 10?) Wrong direction is 10!! Pumpkin filling flew everywhere as I turned the mixer to high instead of off. I had pumpkin filling splashed on my new lilac sneakers. Pumpkin down the cabinets. Later I found pumpkin on the dining room rug. Pumpkin all over the mixer itself. Pumpkin on the quilted pad under the mixer. Could I stay calm and grateful even then? Tough doing that.

I finally got the pies in the oven. Cancelled the plan for my filling. Geesh, what a mess!! I usually have too much filing for the two deep dish pie crusts. I use a baking bowl like my mother had for the left over. I figured no leftover with this mess. Much to my surprise there was some leftover!

They really were round though they look oval here!

After the pies baked I went to take a nap. When I awoke there was a leak from under our fridge. I thought maybe the door ice dispenser had a jam that had opened. Nope, too much water for that. I noticed the bottom ice maker had stopped making ice. Bob was able to pull this incredible heavy refrigerator/freezer out on its rollers. Yep! It was filthy back there. We cleaned that up, but still could not find the source for the leak. Bob watched a few repair videos and decided it was too much for him to deal with. We turned off the lower ice maker to see if that would help. Leak stopped.

Huge load of towels and laundry between the pie filling and the leak!

We bought a bag of ice for the celebration. WHAT A DAY!!

Our son came early to the celebration and offered to check out the freezer ice maker. We asked that he wait until after the celebration. He has learned so much in his job as an apartment complex maintenance person. He had never repaired this brand, but took a look after dessert was over.

In moments he had the back off the motor area. Then the ice drawer was out of the freezer, then the entire lower drawer. I do not know exactly how, but he got it working. We cleaned up the water from where the leak began during the testing. Another load or two of laundry from the dinner napkins, table cloths and towels.

I sent him home with lots of pumpkin pie! Oh what a relief it is not to need to call a repairman on a holiday! Thanks Jeff! You are the best!!

And yes, the pies were a hit!

in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 NKJV

In everything, not for everything.

Posted on in Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Just do it, Listen, Obedience, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Thanks, Yield

Every Moment Holy book

Grant us strength and grace, O God,
that we might move through today 
folding in humble obedience to you,
sensitivity of your Spirit,
and in joyful expectancy of your coming kingdom." A Liturgy of the Hours Midday, Volume 1

That phrase ‘folding in humble obedience to you,’ that just brought me up short. Folding in humble obedience to you. Yes, Lord, I want to be that sort of obedient.

Have you ever tried to carry an unruly child, one kicking and screaming, squirming to get down out of your arms? God does not want us to be like that.

 Listen to me, O house of Jacob,
    all the remnant of the house of Israel,
who have been borne by me from your birth,
    carried from the womb;
4 even to your old age I am he;
    even when you turn gray I will carry you.
I have made, and I will bear;
    I will carry and will save. Isaiah 46:3-4 NRSVUE

Even to old age and gray hair, (or no hair), God wants to be involved in our life.

Will we cooperate with those wishes?

Will we bend our heart in humble obedience, sensitivity to God’s Spirit, and in joyful expectancy of the coming kingdom? I hope and pray you will join me in this sort of yielding.

Posted on in Aging, Faith, Focus, Just do it, Listen, Obedience, Praise, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Trust, Worship, Yield

To Know You

These days when every old seasonal movie is shown on TV, there is an elf running around in an adult-sized costume hollering, “I KNOW HIM!!!”

During this season when some folks get the blues over lost times and memories of the past, I have a question. Those days when things seem blah remember this! Do you know Him? Not the merchandising one, the One who came to set us free!

10 I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the sharing of his sufferings by becoming like him in his death, 11 if somehow I may attain the resurrection from the dead. Philippians 3:10-11 NRVUE

I have much to learn about those two verses. What about you?

23 Thus says the Lord: Do not let the wise boast in their wisdom; do not let the mighty boast in their might; do not let the wealthy boast in their wealth; 24 but let those who boast boast in this, that they understand and know me, that I am the Lord; I act with steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth, for in these things I delight, says the Lord. Jeremiah 9:23-24 NRSUE

I will never fully understand or know the Almighty, but I make it the work of my life to learn more and more

28 God chose what is low and despised in the world, things that are not, to abolish things that are, 29 so that no one might boast in the presence of God. 30 In contrast, God is why you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification and redemption, 31 in order that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.” 1 Cor 1:28-31 NRSVUE

That is enough to keep me pondering all the days of my life!! J B Philips did a New Testament translation that is often times refreshing.

We wish you could see how all this is working out for your benefit, and how the more grace God gives, the more thanksgiving will redound to his glory. This is the reason why we never collapse. The outward man does indeed suffer wear and tear, but every day the inward man receives fresh strength. These little troubles (which are really so transitory) are winning for us a permanent, glorious and solid reward out of all proportion to our pain. For we are looking all the time not at the visible things but at the invisible. The visible things are transitory: it is the invisible things that are really permanent. Philips 2 Corinthians 4: 15-18

One of my favorite artists, Stephanie Gretzinger, draws me back to this truth as I play the following song repeatedly. Written by Graham Kendrick it is full of eternal truths. I encourage you to also listen to it repeatedly. Layers upon layers of meaning.

Posted on in Aging, Amazing Creations, Challenge, Faith, Just do it, Listen, Nature, Praise, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Thanks, Yield

Move A Snowflake

Saw this quote and wanted to share it.

Every avalanche begins with the movement of a single snowflake, and my hope is to move a snowflake.

THOMAS FREY

Doesn’t that make you want to DO something? This morning we are having our first snowfall of the season. It won’t accumulate much, but there is snow on the grassy places and on most every rooftop. Almost every plant is bowed over, not from the weight of the snow but the bitter cold. Wind chills are in the 20’s and teens. The birds are crowding the feeder.

Where do you need an avalanche in your sphere of influence? Can you attempt to move a snowflake and begin needed change? An avalanche is usually destructive, but what if that avalanche just clears away accumulated, unwanted debris?

Thomas Frey hopes to move a snowflake. What do you hope to do? Here is a little video from Nat Geo. Enjoy!

This leaf was the day before the snowfall. Yes, one was face up and next one was face down.

What would change if I moved some of the things cluttering up life? Bob cleans every drawer and closet annually. Not exactly an avalanche, but when I do it there tends to be a huge donation pile for Goodwill. As the weather brings us indoors more and more I look forward to moving some snowflakes and creating avalanches of unnecessary items to be taken out of here.

It is truly right, and good and joyful, to give you thanks, all-holy God, source of life and fountain of mercy. You have filled us and all creation with your blessing and fed us with your constant love; you have redeemed us in Jesus Christ and knit us into one body. Through your Spirit you replenish us and call us to fullness of life. The Great Thanksgiving, BCP

Yes, Father God, move heaven and earth to help us uncomplicate our lives and give more and more of our attention to the Holy Trinity. May we yield to you with grace and peace.

Posted on in Challenge, Faith, Just do it, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Thanks, Yield

Our Brokenness

This sums up what I often try to express. Yes I used it another blog recently. Then it was posted on Gratefulness.org and I realized I had more I wanted to share on the topic.

Our brokenness is also the source of our common humanity, the basis for our shared search for comfort, meaning, and healing. Our shared vulnerability and imperfection nurtures and sustains our capacity for compassion.

BRYAN STEVENSON

I have a friend who has usually prided herself on her perfection. Make-up, clothing, hair, conversation topics at meals. I never measured up to her standards. Ever.

Recently she has had some changes in her life and consequently in her attitudes. This month we met for lunch. She gave me a card with this envelope. Told me that even her pen would not work correctly that morning.

initials for Molly Linda Cheryl Rush Dutina

Don’t you know this envelope made her even more endearing to me? I am by no means perfect in anything I do. Aren’t you relieved when you can be with someone who does not expect perfection from themselves or from you?

“Our common humanity, shared vulnerability and imperfection.” Oh, that we would each learn this lesson and approach one another as the plain human beings that we are! Flawed, yes. Honest, rarely. We need transparency with one another if our relationships are to thrive and grow.

“Our shared search for comfort, meaning, and healing.” What do you want the most in a friend? That is likely what they want most in their friendship with you!

I pray for the remainder of the year you can find ways to nurture and sustain your capacity for compassion. Then show that compassion to those around you. Amen.

Truly a challenge as the holidays approach!

Posted on in Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Journal, Listen, Obedience, Praise, Prayer, Rest, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Yield

Stand at the Crossroads/Come All Who Are Weary

Before I began my recent retreat I asked the Lord what my focus should be. The following verses are what I heard.

Thus says the Lord:
Stand at the crossroads and look,
    and ask for the ancient paths,
where the good way lies; and walk in it,
    and find rest for your souls.
But they said, “We will not walk in it.” Jeremiah 6:16 NRSVUE

-and-

“Come to me, all you who are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 NRSVUE

The opening photo reminds me of the Jeremiah passage. Frequently in life we come to a crossroads. We have the choice how we respond. The people of God are instructed in this passage to stand (not run out there), look, ask for ancient paths, where the good way lies and THEN to walk in it. So fitting with me reading Practicing the Way by Mark Comer and trying to put it into practice. Going into silence at the Convent is one of the ancient paths that restores my soul. More than walking in it, it seems that sitting in the silence is my path at first, though walking the grounds in silence is also restorative.

Stand, Look, Ask also requires listening on my part. I want to follow after the Lord and not refuse to walk in the paths I am shown.

A favorite of mine! Hangs next to our bed!

And the second passage from Matthew? I could have spent the entire weekend on that one and not be finished. The Spirit did ask me to write down the things that made me weary from 2025. I filled several pages in a small journal. Those occurrences suddenly morphed into the things that brought me joy! I then added, “Lord, I am finding a sense of REST just writing out the burdens and blessings.” And so the weekend began. My eyes were opened to the continuous presence of the Lord and any blessings that came with the challenges. “Taking your yoke of the Way is helping me. Continue to help me LEARN from you. You are gentle and humble of heart.”

Remember I was looking for the obscure compline hymn? I found that recording on YouTube? I listened to the entire compline service and right there – in that service – they read Matthew 11:28-30. I was blessed, stunned and should not have been at all surprised that my steps were directed to that path!

What a mighty, caring, loving, attention to details God we serve. God is gentle and humble of heart and I am finding rest for my soul. My prayer is that you, also, will find rest for your soul in this mighty Savior.

Posted on in Aging, Faith, Listen, Memories, Music, Prayer, Rest, Surrender, Thanks

Obscure Hymn?

Our priest recently challenged us to make plans for our funeral including any music that we want the gathering to sing. I was reminded of a compline hymn that captured my heart when the Sisters used to have sung compline. I realized over several retreats that the hymn had multiple verses in various places in the hymnal. I began to collect those verse to use during my own compline prayer time at home. Suddenly I could not longer remember the melody.

I am not very good at sight reading music. I asked Sister Corinna to play the melody for me. She suggested we use the piano at St. Mary’s retreat center where I was staying. Later that evening I found it on YouTube!

The melody was written by Thomas Tallis who lived in the 1500s. It is called the Eighth tune for Compline. The video plays the song in the midst of the Compline service. Below are the lyrics.

 1 All praise to thee, my God, this night,
for all the blessings of the light:
keep me, O keep me, King of kings,
beneath thine own almighty wings.

2 Forgive me, Lord, for thy dear Son,
the ill that I this day have done;
that with the world, myself, and thee,
I, ere I sleep, at peace may be.

3 O may my soul on thee repose,
and with sweet sleep mine eyelids close;
sleep that shall me more vigorous make
to serve my God when I awake.

4 Praise God, from whom all blessings flow;
praise him, all creatures here below;
praise him above, ye heavenly host:
praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.
Posted on in Aging, Amazing Creations, Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Just do it, Listen, Look, Music, Nature, Obedience, Surrender, Yield

Autumn

The first definitive rain and cold front moved through here the other day. Up at the flower shop the wind even threw on its side a potted tree. The many oak leaves that had littered the yard are gone – poof! – taken off to other places. The maples are starting to change, but have not yet blessed us with yellow showers. That will begin momentarily.

Writing about October author Joyce Rupp in her book “May I Have This Dance” says, “Although autumn might seem to be a harsh reminder of death, we can also be encouraged to enter into the mystery of eternal life. We see autumn standing in surrender as the winds sweep her trees naked. The frost browns her meadows and deadens her plants. But a deeper truth is beneath the appearance of death.

“A movement toward life takes place in autumn. Dead leaves that seem to have no value are transformed by winter snows and spring rains to rich humus for new growth… No new growth will come unless autumn agrees to let go of what has been. The same is true of our lives.”

Is that woman a great author or what?!? Are we willing to let go of what has been? Bob and I celebrate our birthdays about three weeks apart. He is two years older than I am. This aging thing brings both of us face to face with the changes that have occurred in our bodies over the many years we have been married. We are no longer strong and as frivolous like in our youth. We both want to approach aging with calmness, peace and an acceptance of what is. That is easier to write than to do. So much easier.

Turn the page

I do know from reading and re-reading the book Radical Acceptance that I only increase my suffering by refusing to accept what is. So here I am turning the corner on 75 and he just turned 77. My older friends in their 80s and 90s tell me I am still young. Whew! I do not feel young!!

The Holy Spirit assures me that God is not finished with me yet. As I learn what I am to lay aside and where to proceed I remember the trees and the changes autumn brings.

Molly, can you stand in surrender and be encouraged to enter into the mystery of eternal life? Dallas Willard taught that eternal life begins now for those of us who love and follow closely after God. There truly are times in my encounters with the Holy One that I can forget the challenges by body presents and breath deeply of the life God offers me in the here and now.

The following piece of music helps me do just that if I will stop, breathe deeply and listen closely. I hope it helps you draw close to God in the present moment and blesses you. I hope you will take the time to listen to all of this piece. For me, it is like a musical prayer. Three minutes, 53 seconds of bliss. Just stop and listen.

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Faith, Journal, Listen, Look, Nature, Praise, Prayer, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Yield

Finally Rain!!

My journal entry 25/10/07

I am waiting to hear it. Supposed to rain all day long! I am eager to listen to it. Hoping Lori can work from home with the window open. I told her when I walk the dog I will be tempted to just stand in the rain without a raincoat! 

In the center down silence
At the altar within my heart
I come to adore You and listen for Your voice

As the rains come down from heaven
and water the earth
And do not return empty
So is my word which goes forth

For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven
    and do not return there until they have watered the earth,
making it bring forth and sprout,
    giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,
11 so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;
    it shall not return to me empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose
    and succeed in the thing for which I sent it. Isa 55:10-11 NRSVUE

And I listen …it is here…Drip, splatter, patter, drop, wash. Prayers answered. Leaves dip as they are washed, grass bends as ground absorbs. Blue jay continues to sing from some place as Cardinal calls. Rain continues, individual drops that in the gutter form a rush of water.

Individual drops that form a cloud, pour out and fill the dry place to make a puddle. Individual drops that converge on one place and transform that place into something new.

Individuals that are transfigured into something new. Leaves in the garden seem to wave at me. Then the rush of rain changes to a torrent from the sky. How do the birds navigate through that while being pelted on the head? 

Come Lord, rain upon me and change me too.
Fern frond twitches
Not a rabbit, rain.
Lily pads at the pond ...

My poem from long ago rings true today in my heart.

The rain gauge tells me 2-1/4 inches have fallen so far. I will gladly walk the dog in this rain we have needed so very desperately. We have a neighbor who calls with some regularity to find out how much rain our gauge has collected. I considered buying him a rain gauge, but then we might never hear from him!!

Lord, this rain is wonderful to us. My friend just texted it is heavenly. I so agree.

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Family, Just do it, Memories, Obedience, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Surrender, Yield

Writing for Another Book?

I was asked recently if I am writing to publish another book. I had scrapped the idea I thought was next. Then a new idea dropped into my heart. Actually it calls upon the old ideas I have been given. Thinking about collecting object lessons the Lord has given me over the years to keep me on the narrow path with him.

Here is one entry entitled “Why I Needed These Lessons.”

Here is one example. As I tried to learn how to follow Jesus and live for the Kingdom I began to realize one very large problem I would need to confront repeatedly was my tongue.

My words would often wound my children and my husband. “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” – Proverbs 18:21

“The tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.” – James 3:5

“He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.” – Proverbs 21:23

“Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” – Psalm 141:3

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” – Psalm 19:14

“If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.” – James 1:26

Oh, I had a tongue! And I had never learned much about how to tame it. I determined that with God’s help I would begin to learn the taming process. That process often required apologies when it got away from me and hurt those I lived with.

I learned that we could offer sacrifices to our God. I found a small stone that looked to me to be a perfect altar. I found a tiny plastic sword in a restaurant sandwich. Then I created a clay tongue and pierced it upon that stone. It sat for  many years in my kitchen windowsill as a reminder to me to give it over to God. I began to continuously ask for the power of the Holy One to come and tame that small part of my body that could so quickly run to evil and destruction when lashed upon others.

I used to teach the children that God created us to praise Him. I would then encourage them (and myself) to praise more and grumble less. Now I had to use that same lesson for my own tendency to use my tongue as a whip instead of an encouraging force.

 “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” James 1:19 Such a simple sentence to read and so very difficult to learn how to live! Slow to speak, slow to anger. I do not know which fought more to be in the forefront of my life, my Irish or German heritage.

The children are grown now and have children of their own. I am still wrestling with this tongue. I think I do better now in relation to them. I still have a challenge when I am tired or in pain. Then I tend to speak without thinking, and sadly, Bob usually takes the brunt of what I say. I have given him scars over the years and there are times when he thinks my tone of voice is meaning something I do not intend. God forgive me, I pray.

I think this discipline will continue until I take my last breath. There are times I think I should reconstruct the stone altar and the clay tongue. I am sure I have a plastic sword some place around here. Lord, deliver me from this tongue which I am so slow to bridle. Help me be quick to hear, slow to speak.

Maybe in this day and age I just need to get it literally pierced as a reminder?

Nah, not feeling it. Besides I would likely get it infected!