Category: Surrender

Posted on in Aging, Faith, Illness and Health, Listen, medical treatment, Music, Obedience, Prayer, Rest, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Thanks, Trust, Yield

So Close

More than likely I have shared this song before. It has not grown to mean less to me! There are heavy prayer requests in our neighborhood and among our friends.

One family has a member with heart disease along with leukemia. He was hospitalized with what ER doc called an irritated heart. That is a new term to me. Perhaps doc made it up to not worry the wife who was diagnosed last week with pancreatic cancer. She is a ghastly shade of yellow/green sort of like Fiona from Shrek. She will have another scan this week and a port put in to facilitate chemo. She has been given 2 years to live. That is in just one family.

Another family has a dad with aggressive Parkinsons’s disease. He has been in nursing facility, brought home due to bedsore and poor care. Has been on in-home hospice care. He will go to facility for hospice care on Friday so his wife can get some rest.

My 92 year old friend got home from rehab facility over the past weekend. She is tired and rather frail, but holding her own , so far. Next week she turns 93. So far, refusing most help when we offer it. She has learned how to put on her back brace. She must wear it when she is up and about due to the 3 broken ribs and 3 broken vertebrae. She is using her cane inside the house and has a grabber in four out of five rooms. Therapist wants her to use the walker, but there is not enough clear space in the house for that. Hopefully when therapist comes to her home they will insist and assist in clearing away some of the stuff so she can use that walker in the house. She is not to bend forward or twist her torso.

There is another awaiting appointment with back surgeon for likely surgery appointment. One healing from skin graft after removal of cancer from her scalp. One with rare autoimmune disease whose husband has Parkinson’s. One with so many untreatable diseases and multiple back surgeries she is basically bed fast. Another in her late 80s recovering from colon cancer. One in her 90s recovering from colon cancer. Aging, disease and death just keep marching on. That is not even concerning the many wars around the world.

Twice I have found myself awake in the night and then my brain slips into overdrive ruminating with concern over these and several other situations. How do you stop that? Here are a few of my ideas.

I breathe in deeply to count of 4. Then exhale slowly to count of 8. This helps. This practice is easier if I have been practicing meditative prayer daily. Regardless, it can work. Lifting these concerns in prayer does not always bring me relief and get me back to sleep. Focus upon breathing can.

I imagine each person in the arms of Father God, those everlasting arms of care and love. Remembering that there is nothing I can do to change their situation, I let them go to the care of the Trinity. They are so much more concerned than I am, and so much more powerful to make a change in the circumstances.

The eternal God is your refuge,
And underneath are the everlasting arms Deuteronomy 33:7a and b

This morning this song came on and I was reminded that this is the answer every time. Rest. Trust. Know none of us are alone. “I am sure the One who made me is catching every word.”

We can try to encourage the ones we know who are suffering. We can make a meal, deliver a flower, pay a visit. We can pray and send a card. We can lift them and let them know we are lifting them. We must also take care of ourselves. Just as the airline says, “In case of an emergency to put your mask on first,” we need to do our best to take care of ourselves if we hope to be an aide to others in their need. Pray, hope and most of all love one another. Share one another’s burdens. Trust God to do what is best in each situation.

33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33 NRSVUE

Give thanks for each life though there is suffering. We are each blessed to be alive though we may be disappointed with our state in life.

Bear one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 NRSVUE

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Faith, Listen, Obedience, Rest, Spiritual discipline, Surrender, Trust

Abba Poeman

I have been using a devotional entitled “Lent with the Desert Fathers” by Thomas McKenzie. He has created a page for each day of Lent quoting the wisdom of the Desert Fathers and Mothers. Here is one quote.

A word from Poemen, a Father of the desert. Abba Poemen said, “Whatever troubles you can be overcome by silence.”

He goes on to write about Elijah meeting with God at the mouth of the cave in 1 Kings 19:12. God was in the still small voice. I made notes in my book about his writing. The most important takeaway though was the quote by Abba Poemen.

I have been troubled by many situations among friends and neighbors. I found that taking each situation and doing as Abba Poemen said, placing it before God and leaving it there in silence, made me able to serve God better.

“Whatever troubles you can be overcome by silence.” We know that fretting helps nothing (Psalm 37 states that clearly three times.) We cannot extend our lives or add a single hair to our own heads. We can however lift all situations to our God and leave them there, in capable miracle filled hands, for God to deal with. We were not created to cope with all the burdens of our lives.

Can you think of one situation right now and imagine it covered with silence. Not meaning you do not care or are not concerned, but knowing you are incapable of changing anything by fretting over it. Leave it there, overcome by silence in both your heart and mind. The Almighty is able to handle all of our cares.

“All shall be well, all shall be well, all manner of things shall be well,” said Julian of Norwich. I believe her. Rest and draw upon that strength.

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Listen, Obedience, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Trust

The Giving of Lent

The Lectio app continues to challenge and inspire me. I noted the following idea from Lectio just as Lent began.

Today’s passage makes a startling prediction: that God’s blessings may come to me not instead of this wilderness, not in spite of this wilderness, but actually within it. The very situation I am currently tempted to resent may become the theatre of God’s greatest grace in my life. And so I must ask myself a difficult question (and I don’t ask it lightly): “Is it possible that God has actually called me into this dry, difficult or disappointing place? What if I were to make peace with it instead of fighting it?”

I read a book many years ago that helped save my sanity. The author is Tara Brach and the title is Radical Acceptance. She puts forth the idea that we can reduce our suffering by accepting things as they are instead of wishing for things to be some other way. Accepting. AA teaches about Acceptance, too.

Radical acceptance is described as begin aware of what is happening within our body and mind in any given moment, without trying to control or judge or pull away. “This is an inner process of accepting our actual, present-moment experience.” She describes it as having two parts – seeing clearly and holding our experience with compassion.

I have read this book at least twice all the way through and might need to do it again! The hand doctor showed us an x-ray of my hand. The thumb joint is bone-on-bone, no cartilage there at all. Thus, the pain. I plumb wore it out. He gave me a cortisone injection and said that might help with the inflammation, and often does. He issued a new brace for that joint. If none of this improves the condition the prognosis would be joint replacement. Third most common joint to be replaced after knees and hips.

Brace with thicker sock cushion

NOT what I had hoped to hear. Yet I am not totally surprised. In the past I could knock down the pain with rest, rubs, etc. Since December it has not responded to those things.

Could it be, “Is it possible that God has actually called me into this dry, difficult or disappointing place? What if I were to make peace with it instead of fighting it?” I did not foresee Lent as asking me to give up crocheting. That might not be the case, but it is a serious possibility.

AA says: “Acceptance doesn’t mean giving in or giving up. It means giving yourself completely to God’s plan for your life, trusting that He always wants what’s best for you, and will help you meet every challenge with courage.” Lent fasting, giving up things, relinquishing habitual practices to draw ourselves closer to the heart of God.

Here is one description of the process of a deep surrender. Jessica Graham said, “So give up, give in, swim out until you can’t see land and then drop down deep to where there is nothing you’ve ever known.” This is the process of deep surrender.

Tara Brach wrote, “We too can pause and make ourselves available to whatever life is offering us in each moment. In this way, as the Vietnamese Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh puts it, we “keep our appointment with life.”

Jesus says when we are fasting this is what we should do.

16 And whenever you fast, do not look somber, like the hypocrites, for they mark their faces to show others that they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. 17 But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, 18 so that your fasting may be seen not by others but by your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees in secret will reward you. Matthew 6:16-18

So if you me see with or without the lovely brace, if you see me at a meeting not crocheting, know that this is my fast, seeking insight and wisdom from my God. Is there healing to be had here? Is there a joint replacement in my future? Pray I can trust and wait and come to know the will of Father for the future of all this yarn and these hooks and threads.

God knows and I am a child of the Kingdom. Hmm t-rus-t. Rus?

Posted on in Aging, Art, Challenge, Faith, Obedience, Rest, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Trust, Yield

None of Us Knows

Once I heard a sermon by a priest who said, “Control is an illusion.” I argued with him all the way home! Guess what? He was right. None of us knows what a day or even an hour may hold.

I made an appointment with a hand surgeon to look at my right hand. I have pain that is fairly constant. I have tried wearing a brace, using Diclofenac cream, menthol rubs, Tylenol, etc. I have been one who has enjoyed crocheting for over 55 years. I also like to cross stitch and am learning to knit (albeit not very well, yet!) I type this blog and also now type my journal since “Uncle Arthur” (nasty osteoarthritis) has taken up residence in my hands among other places.

I was relieved the doctor could get me in this Monday but then it hit me I might not be able to write the blog entries! So here I am on a Sunday afternoon, rearranging my Sabbath practice to write the blog.

If I get a cortisone injection in the base of my thumb it is unlikely I will be able to type tomorrow as is my habit. Besides, the appointment time will take up most of my morning. This is the man who found the distress in my daughter’s hand was a mysterious bone chip that was not missing from any other bone in her wrist. He surgically removed it and she has full function without all the pain. So I have decided to trust him since he did so well with my first baby.

The larger question is will I trust the Lord regardless of what happens at this appointment or into the future? I love to crochet. I get great satisfaction creating things from yarn and string. I give most of those items away. I have been helping my grandson learn to create this way, too! One grandgirl taught herself to crochet watching YouTube videos. Go figure! I gave lessons for many years and continue to share the craft in a weekly meeting at the Senior Center and monthly with Convent Associates.

Am I willing to give even crochet to the Lord? If I am asked to not do crochet I will obey. It might be a gradual ceasing from the activity, but I will if I must. Only if I must.

Psalm 32: 8-9 The donkey I met in Ireland

I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go;
    I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
9 Do not be like a horse or a mule, without understanding,
    whose temper must be curbed with bit and bridle,
    else it will not stay near you. Psalm 32: 8-9 NRSVUE

Hmm trust, t (see a cross) r us t (see a cross). R us trusting, even if it means the cross punctuating our life before and behind us? Another sermon emphasized that Jesus did everything right and he earned a cross. (Of course, for the joy set before him he endured the cross, despising the shame, and bought us by his blood). Hebrews 12

As things change for you, will you dig in your heels like a mule or follow instructions and accept holy counsel?

Here are a few recent creations …

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Faith, Surrender, Thanks, Trust

Nouwen

The discipline of gratitude is

the explicit effort to acknowledge that

all I am and have

is given to me

as a gift of love,

a gift to be celebrated with joy.

HENRI NOUWEN

Another quote posted by Gratitude.com. When Bob pointed out this morning that there was not a post today from my blog I was dismayed. How does that happen? I was certain I had written and posted 5 blogs for the week.

At times I list the wrong time of day for the post to appear. Other times I have simply not written 5 posts. There was no post for today. God only knows where my confusion and mistake occurred.

Nouwen says I must make an “explicit effort to acknowledge” being able to write is given to me as a gift of love, to be celebrated with joy. All that I am and have is given to me as a gift of love.

Here is the Nouwen icon written by Kelly Latimore.

Many years ago I read a few of Henri Nouwen’s books .I really liked them. I think that might be a good reading adventure for me in 2026.

When we pray our evening prayer over our dinner meal I am constantly reminded that we have been given so much. Our lives overflow with gifts. Repeatedly I am reminded to hold all things loosely. Are we aware of how quickly our lives may change and what we assumed was forever can be over in the blink of an eye. Do we continuously make that “explicit effort to acknowledge that all we are and have is a gift?”

My neighbor John just went past the window riding in the car as his wife drives. His vision has changed and he can no longer drive. The independence he knew previously is gone now. His red truck now belongs to his son.

My friend Myrtle took a fall in her bathroom. At 92 years old, having broken vertebrae and ribs is no laughing matter. Yet, when I visited her in person at the rehabilitation center she was still able to laugh. She is not allowed to twist her rib cage or bend forward. She loves the tiny house she lives in. She was driving herself every place. I cannot see how she will be able to return to her house or independence. She trusts that God is in control. She is certain that things will unfold as they should. Her future? God only knows. Since she can smile and trust certainly I must be able to also.

Gratitude is used in many places today. Are we applying it in the way that Nouwen suggested? Can we see even the uncomfortable areas in our lives as gift?

Another neighbor has some illness that has caused her to lose weight consistently without trying since Christmas. She suddenly turned yellow the other day. They are running tests and did a scan stat. Is it a blockage in a duct that needs removing or something more sinister?

How might your life change suddenly? Are you prepared to trust that God holds you in the palm of his hand and loves you? Are you conscious that every blessing in your life is a gift? Might you be willing to trust and wait patiently as what seems like unwelcome circumstances unfold?

Someone said, “It is all a gift.” Lean into that sentiment and be grateful.

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Focus, Music, Obedience, Poetry, Praise, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender

Howard Thurman Quote

Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. Howard Thurman

This one made me think. Twice. Howard Thurman went to his rest in the Lord in 1981. He was “a nationally recognized theologian, distinguished religious leader, and prolific author of over twenty published books. His book Jesus and the Disinherited was considered his most indispensable work.” I read his Disinherited and was moved. He wrote, “It is a man’s reaction to things that determines their ability to exercise power over him.” So reminds me of Viktor Frankl.

There are a few things that make me come alive. Some have been sitting in a file folder for decades. When I was diagnosed with the heart aneurysm I got scared but I also got busy. There was poetry the world had never seen that I wanted to release to others. There was the urge to publish a book with some of these blog posts. The aneurysm is still there, but I have decided to let it be there. Was likely there for decades without my knowledge.

Now that a new year has begun, I am aware I will not live forever, with or without the aneurysm. My husband has a pacemaker and reminds me how many years are left on his battery. He assures me he has no intention to get the battery replaced when it stops working. That sort of knowledge keeps me on my toes. If and when he dies, (he thinks it will be before me), I am certain I will be knocked down for a couple months at least if not longer. Therefore, if I intend to get some of these things done, I better get them accomplished before that battery expires!

Last year a friend offered to take one of the praise choruses I heard and wrote down years ago and work with it. She put it on staff paper so people might have it to play and enjoy. Indeed, she did just that! This year I asked if she would be willing to take on the other 4 or 5. She again said yes! This afternoon I am going to her house to work on the timing on one of them. I hope to be able to post them on this blog for you to enjoy at home or in your local church. Truly an amazing and skill musical talent she possesses!

Dana and I are working at preparing my poetry for publication through Amazon Direct Publishing. This will include some of the newer works. I have a new appreciation for what an editor does. I have read every single one of my poems and found many errors that we printed previously. Yikes. There will be a few new photos in the new book, two by my musician friend mentioned above.

Stephen Ministry has been calling to me and I was commissioned last Sunday at church. I will eventually be assigned a care receiver to meet with. That person will need me about an hour a week. I will also be praying for that person and receiving supervision during their care. It is a ministry I feel compelled to give myself to. I, too, benefited from it when I recently felt overwhelmed.

The prayer team at church need leadership. That has been a call upon my life for decades. I did not say no. Please pray for me to hear just what the Lord desires as I try to arrange a meeting with them and provide leadership that will feed and encourage them.

What makes YOU come alive? Would you be willing to take that aliveness and let the world use it? None of us knows when the Lord will call us home. Please do not leave things left undone that you might be able to accomplish now, this month, this year!

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Focus, Journal, Just do it, Listen, Praise, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Surrender, Thanks, Trust, Worship, Yield

Recriminations and Breathing Room

For a week or perhaps 10 days, I got all complicated about my disciplines. We were having new flooring installed in the sitting/sewing room and in order to do that we basically dismantled the room. There was yarn and all manner of sewing things moved into the office. Writing in that space became more difficult as I could barely move my chair. Somehow that overflowed into my morning disciplines. Suffice it to say I lost my focus. It was easy to heap recriminations upon myself. But not productive!

The flooring is now installed. The contents of the room have been replaced and in their original order, sort of. I will have straightening to do for many hours in the future. When we moved the yarn holders (think cloth shoe pouches that hang from the closet pole) yarn and crochet thread went all over the place.

This morning, when I sat down in my prayer chair, I realized I’d left my tablet some place. Remembered I had used my iPad in the living room. I went to retrieve it and there was no charge left. Even the attached keyboard failed to have any power. So my approach to prayer centering was greatly disrupted. That was not all bad.

Looking for a way to firmly connect with the Spirit of God, I remembered all the times I did that without any electronic devices. Just me, the Book of Common Prayer, my Bible, perhaps a dictionary and a desire to know, and be known by my God. This was a masterful reset. I know I stepped away from my disciplines, not deliberately but a little shift here, a little shift there, a little anxiety here about Bob and the dog walking in icy weather, distraction by A B and C, and next thing I knew I was walking an unproductive path.

The meditation I listened to via my smart phone spoke about finding some breathing room. And that is what I have done this morning. I have some breathing room and a path forward to better union with the Trinity.

So hopefully, now I have regained some perspective. I once again have a renewed awareness of how easy it is to abandon the way of life that is so very good for me. I found myself stumbling about with the way of self in the world. It was not fulfilling. Just frustrating and like sawdust to my soul and spirit.

Father, thank you for showing me myself clearly. Help me above all else to hunger for and maintain my connection to you. You are the source of life. You are living water to me. Keep me and direct my ways to the glory of your name. Amen.

The Rule of Saint Benedict says, “Always, we begin again.”

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Art, Cooking, Faith, Focus, Just do it, Rest, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Thanks, Yield

Winter Weather Plans

A group of friends began a group text message. I usually do not enjoy those, as some folks text on and on for hours. They were sharing how they would entertain themselves as the bitter cold and snow moved in. From fantasizing about Chantilly cake to watching football.

Bob and I attended a “staged reading” by Friends of the Groom, hoping to get home before the winter storm hit. (Indeed we did.) Here is a summary of what we saw.

This is a big treatment of a very big story. For a work still in development, it was impressively delivered. The cast wore coordinated black attire accented by select costume pieces, allowing imagination to do much of the work. Alan Pote served as musical director and pianist, while Tom Long staged the reading and coordinated the accompanying slides, projected on the side of the stage area, suggesting future scenic and battle designs. A review from https://www.leagueofcincytheatres.info/in-development-francis-the-man-from-assisi/

Francis at the center with brown shoulder cover
Jocelyn and Tom are both in the back row

After the performance, taking our cue from Dan Cooksey’s favorite habit of having ice cream for dinner, we went to UDF. Made it home without incident. Later in the evening the snow began.

So my plans were to make wild rice porridge with cranberries and hazelnuts, crock pot oatmeal (because it is the creamiest and best), pumpkin pie filling without the crust (yum!) and make a winter hat for my neighbor.

I got the breakfast foods done. Tore up my thumb crocheting. I think I am getting to where a cortisone injection may be needed? The hat is done. A brace on my hand for 2 nights and one day now.

I have been setting up communication with the prayer teams at our church. That is not working too well yet. I am practicing praise choruses so my friend can write them on staff paper for those who read music at the church. I am editing all of the poetry for publication through Kindle Direct. Another friend is formatting that.

I have dressing balls to make that I never got made at Thanksgiving, Shepherd’s pie for Bob and who knows what else? Or right, coconut pudding pie!

I am so busy I decided to stay home Wednesday morning as bitter cold will still be here and I have too much to do! So I write this to you hoping you have had things you enjoy to keep you distracted from being cooped up at home?

All too soon we are likely to be running around with long lists of to do, to buy, to go see. As the earth is resting under the snow, may you also find rest in this fallow time. To everything there is time and a season, a time for every purpose under heaven. Ecclesiastes 3

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Faith, Memories, Praise, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Thanks, Worship, Yield

The Elements

Remember science class and the idea of four elements from the Greeks? Earth, water, air and fire? Water has been important to me most of my life. When I was a child, I was drawn during the springtime to the stream in the farmer’s field next to our apartment building. The ocean has held a fascination ever since I first saw it and on every subsequent visit. The Pigeon Forge River in the Smoky Mountains is a favorite place of mine.

Recently at church on the first Sunday after Epiphany when we celebrated the baptism of Jesus and renewed our own baptismal vows. I was struck by the prayer “Thanksgiving over the Water.” It goes as follows.

We thank you, Almighty God, for the gift of water. Over it the Holy Spirit moved in the beginning of creation. Through it you led the children of Israel out of their bondage in Egypt into the land of promise. In it your Son Jesus received the baptism of John and was anointed by the Holy Spirit as the Messiah, the Christ, to lead us, through his death and resurrection, from the bondage of sin into everlasting life.

We thank you, God, for the water of Baptism. In it we are buried with Christ in his death. By it we share in his resurrection. Through it we are reborn by the Holy Spirit….

Now sanctify this water, we pray you, by the power of your Holy Spirit, that those who here are cleansed from sin and born again may continue for ever in the risen life of Jesus Christ our Savior.

To him, to you, and to the Holy Spirit, be all honor and glory, now and forever. Amen.

{I wanted to highlight that in blue, but I reserve that color for Scripture!}

Water, the element so many in America take for granted.

I wrote a prayer once and used it for a month or more. We had found a pottery container in a shop in Tennessee that was pinched at the top. The pinch formed two ‘spouts’. I would put some water in it each morning and pray as I poured it into the sink. Here is the prayer:

"Jesus, I pour out this water
before the undivided Trinity:
Let my living be this day
an offering and thanksgiving.
This day caress me.
This day possess me.
Open my ears and eyes
to Your Love for us."

Like water, the Trinity cannot be divided. As we become more aware of the love bestowed upon us from on high, we cannot help but love others better. Our very bodies are more than 50% water!

Jesus offered the woman in John 4 Living Water. He mentions it again in John 7. There are many mentions of the river of the water of life in Revelation 21 and 22.

What do you think of when you imagine water? Could you make taking a drink of water a prayer to the Trinity? Perhaps a time to remind yourself how we need God and each other?

Water is essential to our living. Can we be grateful daily and remember what an enormous gift water it to us? Will you give thanks as you bathe, wash, cook and clean today for the blessed gift of water? I pray so!

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Challenge, Faith, Poetry, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Trust, Yield

Poem

My poetry muse seems to flow in fits and starts. Here is a recent prayer/observation.

Absolute©MollyLin Dutina 2026

Mid-January and the trees are reduced to absolute sticks
Cypress needles have fallen
Other trees have shed leaves that are lodged in its branches
Yet Cypress is bare

Clump River Burch is stem with black scars
Nothing to show for its summer growth
Just another inch or so taller
Stems rise from common base area

A few oaks have held their dead leaves
In the winter wind they sound chilly
And out of place
Shrubs are all naked

And yet You promise to revive them come spring
Hold my barren soul Lord
I yield to You my bare scaffold of bony intentions
I wait in the arctic arena of winter

You are my source of life
The sap that fills my veins
Grow me into a plant that delights You
Hold me in this barren time

And when the season is right
Fill me with Your life and fruit
Shine Your light of life through me
Make me a bush on fire with Your love

For now, I rest in Your arms
Those everlasting arms of love
Attached to the unseen vine of life
Where my soul finds absolute meaning

We yield to the timing of the Almighty, we wait and hold fast to the promises.