Almost every morning I use a chair in our bedroom for my prayer and meditation time. Lately there has been a racket outside!
Remember when we recently went to the dirt track?
The cars zoomed around, not in lanes as much as trying to be first, not crash and get the prize.
Things began just after dawn. Seated for prayer I suddenly had a ruby throated hummingbird just the other side of the screen looking me in the eye! It might have flown in had there not been a screen! Are you familiar with the twitter of the hummingbirds?
Soon the fun began as they raced past the window, twittering their territory song? warrior song? fighting over the feeder about 36 inches from my window. I wanted the flags the guy at the race track had! The more I thought of the similarities the funnier it became!
Love those extended feet! “Incoming! Incoming!!”
Bob caught some great images!!
Fighting is thirsty work!
Hey! Whatchu lookin at?
They will migrate in a week or two. I will truly miss them until they return next April.
ZOOM! Watch for those treasures in plain sight!!
The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. 2 Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge. 3 They have no speech, they use no words; no sound is heard from them. 4 Yet their voice[b] goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world. In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun. 5 It is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber, like a champion rejoicing to run his course. 6 It rises at one end of the heavens and makes its circuit to the other; nothing is deprived of its warmth. Psalm 19:1-6 NIV
Bob pointed out this meditation to me. I missed reading it on the day it actually posted, the feast day of Bernard of Clairvaux, August 20. Bernard was a Cistercian monk.
Bernard of Clairvaux died 1153
Writing about the importance of meditation, Bernard said that ‘our meditations on the Word who is the Bridegroom, on his glory, his elegance, power and majesty, become in a sense his way of speaking to us. And not only that, but when with eager minds we examine his rulings, the decrees from his own mouth; when we meditate on his law day and night, let us be assured that the Bridegroom is present, and that he speaks his message of happiness to us lest our trials should prove more than we can bear.’**
Sometimes, I approach the Bible in a utilitarian manner. I want to skim through it quickly to find something helpful which I can use, but Bernard reminds me that the Bible is primarily given for meditation and conversation with God, rather than information about him. In Lectio Divina , I read slowly, prayerfully, and with imagination as a conversation-starter with the Lord who has a ‘message of happiness’ for me today..
Do I study the Bible or pray the Bible? Do I read the scriptures, or am I read by the scriptures? Do I attempt to master them, or do I allow them to master me? How expectant am I as I open God’s word today?
*** Bernard of Clairvaux, Intimacy in Prayer: Wisdom from Bernard of Clairvaux (Pauline Books and Media: Kindle Edition).
Bob focused on the question “Do I study the Bible or pray the Bible?” How about you?
Is your Bible time for ‘finding something helpful you can use,’ or allowing conversation with God? Do you even read the scriptures or just occupy your meditation time with devotionals from other people.
When you read the Bible do you turn what you read into prayer? “Do I study the Bible or pray the Bible?” That is a leap from just doing a daily reading or covering a certain number of pages or chapters. Study , prayer, conversation and of course, yielding to the Word of God.
I do all and none of the above. I desire for every time of reading to be prayer time and conversation with God. I do not always succeed. Perhaps we can change our time for devotions into one or more of the actions Bernard calls us to try.
Please pray for us today as Bob has his knee replacement surgery at 7AM eastern time. He will come home shortly afterwards. Neither of us has had a joint replacement prior to this. We are grateful for this surgical feat as he has been walking bone-on-bone, i.e. no cushioning remains in his knee. Ice machine is ready. Furniture is arranged for easy access. Throw rugs are taken up.
Medication chart is printed out and we are as ready as can be. Not certain how much writing I will get done in the next couple weeks. I will try to keep you posted. All prayers are most appreciated!
He will be using assistance devices for a few weeks. And PT will be his most common destination. I am the chauffeur for at least a month.
Have you ever waited for medical results? It is no fun. No matter how hard I try to relax all the What-if’s jump in the ring haranguing their point of view.
It is like being on Tenterhooks. Miriam Webster site says: “On tenterhooks” means “waiting nervously for something to happen.” The word tenter means “a frame used for drying and stretching cloth” and is related to tent, so being “on tenterhooks” compares the tenseness of the stretched fabric to the tension of nervous waiting. I thought a tenterhook was more like a meat hook!
The latest cardiac test was a 10 minute visit to the CAT scan machine. I kid you not, start to finish. Lie down. Put your arms over your head. Slide into the machine. Only twice was I asked to take a deep breath and hold it. Now I wait for the results.
Wait, is that a cardiac surgeon sharpening her knife?!?!
My daughter was all in my face saying, “And if they post the results before your appointment you will be online trying to figure out what is next and getting all worked up!” Really, I do not think so.
There are only a couple of options. Live with the aneurysm as our grandparents did, oblivious to the presence of it and perhaps have it pop and drop dead. Not too bad a way to go. At least I would not be a vegetable in some ward.
If they want surgery then I have to decide if that is a yes or no from me. I have no cardiac symptoms. My blood pressure is being regulated with 3 prescriptions. The most reliable sources I have read, Mayo Clinic and Cleveland Clinic, say open heart surgery is what is needed to replace an aorta. Doesn’t that sound HUGELY invasive?
Twiddle my thumbs and wonder.
Instead, I have begun the age-old American coping mechanism of emotional eating. Doesn’t solve a thing, but it tastes mighty good. Until it doesn’t. Because I know this is not going to solve anything. I will stop before long. Besides, I work hard to keep that A1C down. Why spoil those results now?
There are new techniques being developed that are less invasive. They are already being used for abdominal aneurysms. Remember the saying, “Not quite ready for prime time”? They are just occasionally being used for the type of aneurysm I have. Not certain I want to be in the beginning group of patients if my cardiologist suggests it. These less invasive methods are not approved for use in the USA yet. There is also a high percentage of leakage from those. I have no leakage now.
Please pray for me to have wisdom from on high for this decision!
The Book of Common Prayer has this lovely prayer:
Page 461 For Trust in God O God, the source of all health; So fill my heart with faith in your love, that with calm expectancy I may make room for your power to possess me, and gracefully accept your healing; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
The results are in! Aneurysm measures 5 cm. Now I wait for my appointment with cardiologist in mid-September. Even this moment I am leaning towards do nothing and exit this earth however that may be.
Please pray the Lord will give Bob and me wisdom about all of this. His knee surgery is this Wednesday 7 AM.
This is a month of changes. My husband will undergo knee replacement surgery this month. We are thinking his years of playing catcher in baseball and then doing the breast stroke among others on swim teams for many, many years contributed to the destruction of the cushioning in his knee. He is walking the dog and riding his bike with bone on bone at this point. Two meniscus repairs did not help either! They took measurements through his CT scan to fit the replacement parts with more accuracy than was available in years prior to this event.
We will doing all of his recovery at home. It is somewhat amazing after watching the video in the surgeon’s office that they think this is so advanced and safe that I will be his caregiver! Watching the video we both realized this is no little thing they will be doing to him. They also informed us that he will be up and walking immediately after surgery. Yes, he will need a walker or crutches for stability, but he is expected to walk regularly the day of surgery and thereafter. None of this lollygagging around in bed!
Evidently the surgery has made huge advances in the last 20 years and our particular surgeon is extremely careful. Bob will even be using a nasal antibiotic before the surgery as well as antibacterial body wash, etc.
There is a new pain medication on the market called Journavx. “JOURNAVX is a prescription medicine used to treat adults with moderate-to-severe short-term (acute) pain.” Evidently if works through the peripheral nervous system which is outside your brain and spinal column. This is used instead of opioids. According to our surgeon patients are recovering faster and not having the side effects and addiction risk of opioids. If nothing else, this will be a grand experiment in the effects of as Bob calls it, “Better living through modern chemistry! “
He has nice legs, but not like hers!
We practiced Bob getting in and out of the car with the immobilizer brace on his leg. He has to wear this any time he is up and walking until Physical Therapy releases him from it. They warned us he might have to use the back seat for the ride home. Yep! It was way too difficult for him to maneuver into the front seat. Hopefully that will not become his usual place to ride in the car! He is already unhappy at being told he may not drive for 4 weeks. The surgery is on his right knee. He told one friend he is going to put the number for Uber in his phone. He is not good at just being at home. I figure by the time he gets in and out of the car for physical therapy and doctor appointments, a nap at home might sound good! The heat has been getting both of us down.
Equipped with a leg immobilizer, walker, crutches, cane, a list of medications and printed schedule for taking them, the electric ice machine, leg compression stockings, (oh my I will be busy, won’t I?) we are prayed up and almost ready. Wednesday August 27 at 7 AM is the big day! So many people who have had the same surgery speak of how nice it is to not be in pain anymore. We have been told that the first two weeks are the hardest. I will be rearranging my schedule to accommodate his needs. He had so often been my caregiver. After almost 55 years this is not a burden or unexpected. He is the love of my life and I want him as comfortable and healthy as possible. Of course, I might have to tie him to a chair at times to get him to rest, but then I might also have to chase him around the house with the threat of a fly swatter spanking to keep him moving. Just kidding. I think?!?
There was a saying that after forty you just patch, patch, patch. I think after seventy you just crumble. Thank God we have access to so many kinds of fixes!
Yum. We have visited two different creamy whip places for orange sherbet mixed with vanilla ice cream. The place across town had the best. The local one called it creamsicle and the orange was mixed with vanilla. Not as tasty or refreshing. They also sell an orange/vanilla swirl. Across town is the most flavorful. Look far right. Yum!
Then there is my New Mexico rock that I think of as Orange Sherbet, actually called orange calcite. We bought it at a rock shop. I just love it! This morning as I looked out the window I realized it captures the brilliant orange of the nasturtiums.
The nasturtiums are lovely this year. Sadly the ones that were to bloom red did not prosper as far as a bloom. Rabbit found they were tasty. The others have me cutting, smelling them and trying to capture the differences in photos. I just noticed a few are out of focus. Drats.
Look at the accent lines in the back of the flower. Blotches of dark orange like flames!
I used to have 2 photos from National Geographic that showed how we see a flower and how a bee sees the same flower. Wish there was a program to do that! Wait, there just might be one out there!
Common Dandelion in both lights
The pale peachy colors amaze me.
Solid petals and deep accent lines.
The variety is glorious!
Flowers to rocks to frozen desserts. What a wonderful world we inhabit. Just as the orange colors can be amazing so can the variety of ways to see life. I pray you yield your eyes to the Lord of all Glory. May that same Lord open your eyes to see the power of the Almighty in the universe and in your heart.
Approaching a stop light have you ever struggled to come to a full stop before the light changes? Maybe going a bit too fast or not paying attention to the signals? More and more people around here seem to think the light signals do not apply to them. They make no attempt to slow down or stop. The other day one vehicle nearly collided with me and other cars when it went blazing through an intersection. Several of us laid on our horns to voice our displeasure. Thankfully, no one was hurt.
The full stop I am most thinking of is the difficulty I have at times to turn off the flood of thoughts and just stop. Have you struggled with that? At our house we sometimes call it mind racing. Yesterday afternoon it felt like the torrential floods after the monster rain storms that have been occurring. We mostly see videos on the news. Yep, that was my brain.
Even my meditation and devotions were a struggle this morning. Turn it all loose, Molly. Open your hands. If I clutch topics and people in my hands, I know I am not free to receive what the Lord wants to place in my hands next!
So far the month of August has been very, very tiring. I know that is a large part of the problem. How I could think that my concern about a situation could ever change or effect it? Well, in clear, more sane moments I realize that is just nonsense. The Gospels tell me point blank Do Not Be Anxious.
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.Matthew 6:25-34 ESV
Anxiety mentioned five times in just a few verses. Brother Lawrence taught me that useless thoughts spoil everything. Paul in 2 Corinthians 10:5 tells me I am to take every thought captive to Jesus. I read that as I am to turn every thought over to Jesus. I am not to try to wrestle that thought, tie it up and deliver it to Jesus. Just give it to him, the One whose thoughts are not my thoughts, Whose ways are not my ways. (Isaiah 55:9 NIV)
And even this moment my concentration is shattered, splintered. Like the dog on “Up” I holler, “Squirrel!”
So I closed the blind over my office window next to my computer. I have experiential knowledge that the Lord God Almighty will meet me in the stillness. I choose even now to be still. One moment at a time.
There was another praise chorus that came to me years ago. It says, “Spirit of God within me, rise up. Spirit of God within me rise up. Take ascendancy over my body. Take ascendancy over my mind.”
Steve Green sang a song that asked, “You want to. Now Will you?”
I had to struggle to remember Isaiah 30:15 in the night. “In returning and rest I am saved, in quietness and TRUST shall be my strength.” And the zinger at the end, “But you would not.” Lord, I do not want to be one of those who would not.
All of that is still true this bright, sunny, hot and humid morning. It was true in the night. It will be true tonight and tomorrow. I need to cling to the source of my life and rest. Just rest in the truth that is my Lord. Even so, Lord, come.
I have decided that if there is a struggle today, I will require every thought to stop and state their business. If the business is not of God, I will require a toll of singing praise to the Lord God Almighty. If there is refusal to sing those praises, then the offender can simply turn out in the lane provided for dismissal. Nope, not welcome to come at this campground. Time for some rest.
Grateful Living posted Thomas Merton wrote, “In a world of noise, confusion and conflict, it is necessary that there is a place of inner silence and peace; not the peace of mere relaxation but the peace of inner clarity and love.”
Remember my post about where daughters go to die? I shared it with a new friend. She is quite talented with poetry, photography and music. She took my barely understandable tune on staff paper and sent me an audio file through messages where she sang it back to me. (Ain’t technology grand?”) I mean it. This was unthinkable a decade ago! She was at the farm in Adams County at the time. There are cicadas and crickets in the background. I am absolutely delighted. I played it often these past few days to keep myself centered in surrender and the Presence of God.
When she returned home she sent me an audio file with the piano added.
I am trying to learn how to upload these so each of you can hear it. Not making much progress with Sound Cloud which WordPress says I should use. Grrr – old dog, new tricks. I finally found another way to convert it.
And the piano chords? Well, only the singing loaded so far. On to other writing and stay tuned for updates!
Years ago, after I dropped my son off at nursery school I drove around enjoying some quiet with God. I wound up in a cemetery I had never been to before. I had been praising and singing a good part of the morning. I came up the steep curved driveway and much to my surprise there was this huge tombstone with a simple word daughters.
photo taken more than 45 years ago
I had been studying William Law and the idea of dying to self. I was struck with the idea that this is the place where daughters come to die. As a daughter of the King of kings, the will of God is more important than my will. I was at the place in my walk where I realized that obedience to the King is more important than what I want in any given situation.
That same morning I heard a worship chorus. It goes, “Total surrender brings total power, Spirit of Christ in me, totally yielded to Thee every hour, until Thy will I see. Death to my passions and every desire, living wholly for Thee, have Your own way Spirit of Love, totally flow through me.”
Recently, I drove to the same cemetery and the headstone is terribly discolored.
photo August 3, 2025
I decided to return and try and clean it. Online it said to use vinegar water with maybe a drop of dish soap in it and a soft brush. My husband went with me. We took a gallon of water and scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed. It did look better when we were finished, but still discolored.
August 4, 2025 Prior to second scrubbing
Recently, we’ve had some family trouble. With all the stress, I was having difficulty concentrating on writing, so I decided to return to the cemetery and scrub some more. This time I took a baking soda solution, another internet idea. On the way there I remembered the chorus about total surrender. It was so fitting because in this family situation I have no influence and no control over the outcome. Once there as I got my supplies out of the car and climbed a little hill to the headstone, I began singing the chorus. I was reminded once again that this place of surrender to God is the healthiest and happiest place for me to be.
I will go back tomorrow take another photo and see how the daughter’s grave is looking. In the meanwhile I will do my best to stayed yielded to God my Father and Mother.
For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength. But you refused Isaiah 30:15 NRSVUE
And Samuel said,
“Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as in obedience to the voice of the Lord? Surely, to obey is better than sacrifice and to heed than the fat of rams.” 1 Samuel 15:22 NRSVUE
“If you love me, you will keep my commandments. 16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, to be with you forever. 17 This is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him because he abides with you, and he will be in you.” John 14:15-17 NRSVUE
During the summer one of our Sunday church services is held outdoors as long as there is no rain or lightning. (Recently we wondered if it should be held indoors because of the awful heat and humidity, but we made it!) This past Sunday the weather was perfect and the worship was delightful.
Here is part of the prayer before communion:
“It is truly right, and good and joyful to give you thanks, all holy God, source of life and fountain of mercy. You have filled us and all creation with your blessing and fed us with your constant love; you have redeemed us in Jesus Christ and knit us into one body. Through your Spirit you replenish us and call us to fullness of life.”
That just about knocked my socks off. Perhaps part of the impact is I have been studying Michael Card’s book InexpressibleHesed and the Mystery of God’s Lovingkindness. Being reminded of the Holy One having constant love at that point in the worship certainly got my attention.
One of the first pages in his book after the dedication lists the many ways hesed is translated. Here are a few. LOVE, LOVINGKINDNESS, MERCIFUL LOVE LOYAL LOVE, SURE LOVE, RELENTLESS LOVE, ENDURING LOVE, EXTRAVAGANT LOVE, AFFECTIONATE SATISFACTION, LOVE IN ACTION, DEPENDABLE LOVE, STEADY LOVE, TRUE LOVE, FUNDAMENTAL LOVE, MIRACLE LOVE, GENEROUS LOVE, DEEP LOVE, WONDERFUL LOVE, GREAT LOVE, INCREDIBLE LOVE, MARVELOUS LOVE, GRACIOUS LOVE, LOYAL IN LOVE, STEADFAST LOVE, EXPRESSION OF LOVE. This is less than a third of the list!
Card explains that hesed is a word that draws adjectives to itself. There is no easy, one way to translate it into English. In his Preface he calls it “the untranslatable defining the inexpressible.”
I am certain to have more to write about hesed as I continue to study it and read about it. May you experience the hesed of God in your life this very day!
Treasures in Plain Sight, A Christian Blog 