So Close

More than likely I have shared this song before. It has not grown to mean less to me! There are heavy prayer requests in our neighborhood and among our friends.

One family has a member with heart disease along with leukemia. He was hospitalized with what ER doc called an irritated heart. That is a new term to me. Perhaps doc made it up to not worry the wife who was diagnosed last week with pancreatic cancer. She is a ghastly shade of yellow/green sort of like Fiona from Shrek. She will have another scan this week and a port put in to facilitate chemo. She has been given 2 years to live. That is in just one family.

Another family has a dad with aggressive Parkinsons’s disease. He has been in nursing facility, brought home due to bedsore and poor care. Has been on in-home hospice care. He will go to facility for hospice care on Friday so his wife can get some rest.

My 92 year old friend got home from rehab facility over the past weekend. She is tired and rather frail, but holding her own , so far. Next week she turns 93. So far, refusing most help when we offer it. She has learned how to put on her back brace. She must wear it when she is up and about due to the 3 broken ribs and 3 broken vertebrae. She is using her cane inside the house and has a grabber in four out of five rooms. Therapist wants her to use the walker, but there is not enough clear space in the house for that. Hopefully when therapist comes to her home they will insist and assist in clearing away some of the stuff so she can use that walker in the house. She is not to bend forward or twist her torso.

There is another awaiting appointment with back surgeon for likely surgery appointment. One healing from skin graft after removal of cancer from her scalp. One with rare autoimmune disease whose husband has Parkinson’s. One with so many untreatable diseases and multiple back surgeries she is basically bed fast. Another in her late 80s recovering from colon cancer. One in her 90s recovering from colon cancer. Aging, disease and death just keep marching on. That is not even concerning the many wars around the world.

Twice I have found myself awake in the night and then my brain slips into overdrive ruminating with concern over these and several other situations. How do you stop that? Here are a few of my ideas.

I breathe in deeply to count of 4. Then exhale slowly to count of 8. This helps. This practice is easier if I have been practicing meditative prayer daily. Regardless, it can work. Lifting these concerns in prayer does not always bring me relief and get me back to sleep. Focus upon breathing can.

I imagine each person in the arms of Father God, those everlasting arms of care and love. Remembering that there is nothing I can do to change their situation, I let them go to the care of the Trinity. They are so much more concerned than I am, and so much more powerful to make a change in the circumstances.

The eternal God is your refuge,
And underneath are the everlasting arms
Deuteronomy 33:7a and b

This morning this song came on and I was reminded that this is the answer every time. Rest. Trust. Know none of us are alone. “I am sure the One who made me is catching every word.”

We can try to encourage the ones we know who are suffering. We can make a meal, deliver a flower, pay a visit. We can pray and send a card. We can lift them and let them know we are lifting them. We must also take care of ourselves. Just as the airline says, “In case of an emergency to put your mask on first,” we need to do our best to take care of ourselves if we hope to be an aide to others in their need. Pray, hope and most of all love one another. Share one another’s burdens. Trust God to do what is best in each situation.

33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33 NRSVUE

Give thanks for each life though there is suffering. We are each blessed to be alive though we may be disappointed with our state in life.

Bear one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 NRSVUE

Abba Poeman

I have been using a devotional entitled “Lent with the Desert Fathers” by Thomas McKenzie. He has created a page for each day of Lent quoting the wisdom of the Desert Fathers and Mothers. Here is one quote.

A word from Poemen, a Father of the desert. Abba Poemen said, “Whatever troubles you can be overcome by silence.”

He goes on to write about Elijah meeting with God at the mouth of the cave in 1 Kings 19:12. God was in the still small voice. I made notes in my book about his writing. The most important takeaway though was the quote by Abba Poemen.

I have been troubled by many situations among friends and neighbors. I found that taking each situation and doing as Abba Poemen said, placing it before God and leaving it there in silence, made me able to serve God better.

“Whatever troubles you can be overcome by silence.” We know that fretting helps nothing (Psalm 37 states that clearly three times.) We cannot extend our lives or add a single hair to our own heads. We can however lift all situations to our God and leave them there, in capable miracle filled hands, for God to deal with. We were not created to cope with all the burdens of our lives.

Can you think of one situation right now and imagine it covered with silence. Not meaning you do not care or are not concerned, but knowing you are incapable of changing anything by fretting over it. Leave it there, overcome by silence in both your heart and mind. The Almighty is able to handle all of our cares.

“All shall be well, all shall be well, all manner of things shall be well,” said Julian of Norwich. I believe her. Rest and draw upon that strength.

Glorious Sunshine

I wanted to go out on the back deck to marvel at the sun and look to see if the Thumbelina daffodils had started to bloom yet. The dog was in front of the door. She could not decide if she wanted to go out or not. I slid open the door and growled at her “Go in or go out! I do not care!” After she moved I stepped outside. Before looking at the daffodil leaves I looked up and to my left sensing something looking at me. I saw this wonderful hawk in the nearby tree. It was not startled by my growling.

I texted Bob “Hawk on back deck.” knowing he would grab his camera and come see. His photos were much better than mine. Here was our visitor! He likely saw our feeder as a bait station. Like Sonic says, “You gotta eat!”

r m dutina
My favorite by r m dutina
r m dutina

“Is it by your wisdom that the hawk soars
    and spreads its wings toward the south?
27 Is it at your command that the eagle mounts up
    and makes its nest on high?
Job 39:26-27 NRSVUE

We often hear the hawks calling from high in the sky. Sometimes we can see them, sometimes not. We are always blessed when they come to close to us! God is in control of them, certainly not us!

The Giving of Lent

The Lectio app continues to challenge and inspire me. I noted the following idea from Lectio just as Lent began.

Today’s passage makes a startling prediction: that God’s blessings may come to me not instead of this wilderness, not in spite of this wilderness, but actually within it. The very situation I am currently tempted to resent may become the theatre of God’s greatest grace in my life. And so I must ask myself a difficult question (and I don’t ask it lightly): “Is it possible that God has actually called me into this dry, difficult or disappointing place? What if I were to make peace with it instead of fighting it?”

I read a book many years ago that helped save my sanity. The author is Tara Brach and the title is Radical Acceptance. She puts forth the idea that we can reduce our suffering by accepting things as they are instead of wishing for things to be some other way. Accepting. AA teaches about Acceptance, too.

Radical acceptance is described as begin aware of what is happening within our body and mind in any given moment, without trying to control or judge or pull away. “This is an inner process of accepting our actual, present-moment experience.” She describes it as having two parts – seeing clearly and holding our experience with compassion.

I have read this book at least twice all the way through and might need to do it again! The hand doctor showed us an x-ray of my hand. The thumb joint is bone-on-bone, no cartilage there at all. Thus, the pain. I plumb wore it out. He gave me a cortisone injection and said that might help with the inflammation, and often does. He issued a new brace for that joint. If none of this improves the condition the prognosis would be joint replacement. Third most common joint to be replaced after knees and hips.

Brace with thicker sock cushion

NOT what I had hoped to hear. Yet I am not totally surprised. In the past I could knock down the pain with rest, rubs, etc. Since December it has not responded to those things.

Could it be, “Is it possible that God has actually called me into this dry, difficult or disappointing place? What if I were to make peace with it instead of fighting it?” I did not foresee Lent as asking me to give up crocheting. That might not be the case, but it is a serious possibility.

AA says: “Acceptance doesn’t mean giving in or giving up. It means giving yourself completely to God’s plan for your life, trusting that He always wants what’s best for you, and will help you meet every challenge with courage.” Lent fasting, giving up things, relinquishing habitual practices to draw ourselves closer to the heart of God.

Here is one description of the process of a deep surrender. Jessica Graham said, “So give up, give in, swim out until you can’t see land and then drop down deep to where there is nothing you’ve ever known.” This is the process of deep surrender.

Tara Brach wrote, “We too can pause and make ourselves available to whatever life is offering us in each moment. In this way, as the Vietnamese Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh puts it, we “keep our appointment with life.”

Jesus says when we are fasting this is what we should do.

16 And whenever you fast, do not look somber, like the hypocrites, for they mark their faces to show others that they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. 17 But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, 18 so that your fasting may be seen not by others but by your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees in secret will reward you. Matthew 6:16-18

So if you me see with or without the lovely brace, if you see me at a meeting not crocheting, know that this is my fast, seeking insight and wisdom from my God. Is there healing to be had here? Is there a joint replacement in my future? Pray I can trust and wait and come to know the will of Father for the future of all this yarn and these hooks and threads.

God knows and I am a child of the Kingdom. Hmm t-rus-t. Rus?

Strength

I was given a prayer request for strength. This person was in the midst of two part time jobs, raising teenagers, deeply concerned about the unrest in Minnesota and other cities, and having hot flashes. She was right up on the edge of burnout.

I was later reading Amy Carmichael’s Edges of His Grace and Amy quoted this:

Thy God hath commanded thy strength: strengthen, O God, that which thou hast wrought for us. Psalm 68:28 Darby

I sent the quote along to her. So many of us are on the edge of burnout. We need the strength of God and renewal in the strength that only God can offer.

Looking into this further, one footnote said: Septuagint and Syriac and most Hebrew manuscripts say Your God has summoned power for you.

Yes, Lord, she and I both need more of that precious power You have summoned for us!

For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength. But you refused Isaiah 30:15 NRSVUE

Lord, you know we are hurried and worried and preoccupied with too many things.We need to be still. Return to you. Rest and trust in you. Help us to not refuse to do these things.

We more inflow and deliberately return to the Giver of Living Water

Send forth your strength O GOD; establish, O GOD, what you have wrought for us. Psalm 68:28 BCP

Above, the Book of Common Prayer quotes this Psalm slightly differently. And below the Names of God Bible says:

Your Elohim has decided you will be strong. Display your strength, O Elohim, as you have for us before. Names of God Bible Psalm 68:28

Your Elohim – Your Elohim, the Supreme One, the Mighty One – and this Mighty one if yours. Ponder that for a moment. Yours. Your God has summoned power for you.Your God send forth strength to you. God has worked things into shape for us. Will establish what God has wrought for us. God has summoned power for us.

I was uncertain how I would get through this past week. I had many pressing matters and needed strength for each of them. This verse helped me turn to the Lord and ask for the strength I needed for each situation. I remembered with longing that Sunday was coming and that I could rest on that afternoon. I was carried in heavenly strength through the week. Left to myself I would have crashed and burned early in the week.

It is an amazing verse and even more amazing gift that is given to us. Sit with this verse. Ponder the meaning in the particulars of your life. How can you apply this verse, this truth to your life? See how Elohim loves you!

Recriminations and Breathing Room

For a week or perhaps 10 days, I got all complicated about my disciplines. We were having new flooring installed in the sitting/sewing room and in order to do that we basically dismantled the room. There was yarn and all manner of sewing things moved into the office. Writing in that space became more difficult as I could barely move my chair. Somehow that overflowed into my morning disciplines. Suffice it to say I lost my focus. It was easy to heap recriminations upon myself. But not productive!

The flooring is now installed. The contents of the room have been replaced and in their original order, sort of. I will have straightening to do for many hours in the future. When we moved the yarn holders (think cloth shoe pouches that hang from the closet pole) yarn and crochet thread went all over the place.

This morning, when I sat down in my prayer chair, I realized I’d left my tablet some place. Remembered I had used my iPad in the living room. I went to retrieve it and there was no charge left. Even the attached keyboard failed to have any power. So my approach to prayer centering was greatly disrupted. That was not all bad.

Looking for a way to firmly connect with the Spirit of God, I remembered all the times I did that without any electronic devices. Just me, the Book of Common Prayer, my Bible, perhaps a dictionary and a desire to know, and be known by my God. This was a masterful reset. I know I stepped away from my disciplines, not deliberately but a little shift here, a little shift there, a little anxiety here about Bob and the dog walking in icy weather, distraction by A B and C, and next thing I knew I was walking an unproductive path.

The meditation I listened to via my smart phone spoke about finding some breathing room. And that is what I have done this morning. I have some breathing room and a path forward to better union with the Trinity.

So hopefully, now I have regained some perspective. I once again have a renewed awareness of how easy it is to abandon the way of life that is so very good for me. I found myself stumbling about with the way of self in the world. It was not fulfilling. Just frustrating and like sawdust to my soul and spirit.

Father, thank you for showing me myself clearly. Help me above all else to hunger for and maintain my connection to you. You are the source of life. You are living water to me. Keep me and direct my ways to the glory of your name. Amen.

The Rule of Saint Benedict says, “Always, we begin again.”

Alexander Chapman Campbell

Piano music, how I love it! When I am writing there is nothing better than piano solo music in the background to keep me focused and moving along with bringing forward the thoughts of my heart. I also love it when I am crocheting, especially while learning a new pattern.

Amazon music lets me select songs for playlists. I came across this artist who I had used on a playlist in 2024? I had since forgotten him. Reintroduced to his music, I thought I would share it with you in case you also are a fan of piano solos? Here is just one of many compositions. Enjoy!

Bored?

Are you tired of the day to day humdrum of life? This recent quote from Gratefulness.org reminded me how precious the humdrum can be.

Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, savor you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow.

MARY JEAN IRION

Each year as Bob and I age we realize we have lost certain qualities of strength and health that we never even considered when we were younger. I am forever telling young folks they have NO IDEA how strong they are! The above quote made me wonder what am I taking for granted today that in all likelihood may be gone tomorrow, a mere memory?

Oh normal day, treasure that you are!

Not An Engineering Lesson

I have been trying to apply myself to read through all of the Gospels, not as a study work, but just to absorb and pray the stories of Jesus afresh for 2026. Having finished Mark I am now in Matthew.

You have likely heard the Scripture story about the house built upon the sand?

24 “Everyone, then, who hears these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on rock. 25 The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall because it had been founded on rock. 26 And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not act on them will be like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27 The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell—and great was its fall!” Matthew 7:24-27 NRSVUE

I think all too often I have heard it like a lesson in engineering. If you look for images about that passage you are given house upon house built upon rocks or sand. It hit me this morning that Jesus was teaching that the ones who HEAR the words and ACT on them are wise. He compares the wise to a good engineer, but the lesson is even for those who cannot build anything. Hear and act: the continuous call to obedience. Hear the words and act upon them. How do you personally accomplish that?

I have also decided to review music by some of my favorite artists. Recently Benjamin William Hastings has been my artist to listen to. He caught my attention about three years ago with his song “That’s the Thing about Praise.” This same chapter in Matthew has the verse he wrote about with Cody Carnes in “Take You At Your Word.” The YouTube video has the lyrics. The opening artwork caught my attention as an apt descriptor of the narrow gate.

13 “Enter through the narrow gate, for the gate is wide and the road is easy that leads to destruction, and there are many who take it. 14 For the gate is narrow and the road is hard that leads to life, and there are few who find it. Matthew 7:13-14 NRSVUE

Hear and act. Choose the narrow gate, the hard road that leads to life. We are also promised life and that more abundantly! (John 10:10)

Single Snowflake

Snow? Well, we are forecast to be in the high 60s later this week, so snow is unlikely. I am always amazed at how the air seems to change prior to and during/after a snowfall. The very air is charged with listening. Asking the web, “Does snow muffle sound?” this answer was written. “Freshly fallen snow significantly alters the acoustic environment. Its porous structure, composed of ice crystals and air pockets, effectively absorbs sound waves. This absorption reduces the reflection and transmission of auditory signals, creating a noticeable dampening effect on ambient noise.” Ha! Not just my imagination 🙂 Recently in church they played an instrumental version of “Still, still, still”. Do you know this song?

May you grow still enough to hear the stir of a single snowflake in the air, so that your inner silence may turn into hushed expectation.

BR. DAVID STEINDL-RAST

I love this Steindl-rast thought towards inner silence. Yes, Christmas has passed. The call to stillness continues throughout the year. Can you quiet your heart and mind this much? If not to the stir of a single snowflake perhaps to the quiet of a new fallen snow? The world will continue without our input or opinion for a few minutes. Practice, regardless of the weather. Next time it snows at your house go outside or open the door to experience this quietening effect of the crystals. It is good for your soul!