Ouch. This date and June 14th both bring me pangs of anguish. My Dad died on November 14, 1961. My mom died June 14, 1975. If my Dad was alive today he would be 109 years old. I do not wish that on anyone. That said, I have a friend who is in her 90s. Should she die this week I must say I would miss her dearly.
I never knew Paul Arthur Rush as anyone other than Daddy. I had just turned eleven years old when he died in our apartment. I was angry with him that morning when I left for school, (no idea over what now). I do remember that I refused to kiss him good bye. Little did I know he would be dead before I returned to the house from my after school dental appointment. My mother was supposed to pick me up. During my appointment I cried out. The dentist had to stop and let me calm down. I think that was just about the moment my Dad died. What a mess.
When the dental office secretary unexpectedly drove me home (due to the chaos in our house), I entered a place where my life was changed forever. Why am I telling you all of this?
We do not know what the next hour of our life will bring to us or to those whom we love. John Wesley is credited with the quote below, but it is cited from the 1790s to the 1900s in various publications as being written by various people. I think we can all agree it sums up wisdom indeed.
Do all the good you can, By all the means you can, In all the ways you can, In all the places you can, At all the times you can, To all the people you can, As long as ever you can.
On the morning of November 14, 1961 I had no idea how much that saying would impact me later in life. Yes, I wish I had kissed my Dad good-bye that morning. He suffered many years from repeated heart attacks and his heart disease is what finally killed him. For many years I was sorry for my inaction when I departed for school. I know I am forgiven.
I am grateful to my Dad in so many ways. They say he had a great sense of humor. I suppose that is where I got mine? I remember setting his hair in pin curls. For years I had totally straight hair. In my older age it is growing in wavy. His was wavy and I always envied that! After he died I would walk in a room and relatives would gasp and say, “Oh! It is Paul Rush.” So I guess I look more like him than I do my mom.
When I was diagnosed with diabetes I asked how that could be? “There is no history of that in my family.” The doctor told me that when my dad died from heart disease he likely was diabetic. There was no standard testing for diabetes at the time. His heart disease was likely due to his diabetes. (Not to mention the smoking, and drinking, etc.)
I will tell you that losing him set me on a quest to replace him. I found that no one could. However, that was the time when I did turn my heart and soul to the Lord God Almighty. I have found Him to be a most faithful Father Who will never leave me or forsake me.
So never miss a chance to tell someone that you love them. Seek most of all to know the heavenly Father.
My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face, Lord, I will seek. 9 Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, God my Savior. 10 Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. 11 Teach me your way, Lord; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. 12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, spouting malicious accusations.
13 I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. 14 Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:8-14 NIV
My Uncle made me pose the morning of Daddy’s funeral. I did not want to smile.
October 18 is one of the most memorable days ever. My husband was born on this day. I am so grateful that God directed us to each other. Christ has kept us together for 54 years. No, not every moment has been unicorns and rainbows, but our love has grown deeper with each challenge. We have raised 2 children, now are blessed with 3 grandchildren. Bob has made a way for us to retire in relative comfort. We are some of the wealthiest people in the world. Not just financially, for that we are not, but we are rich in faith, love, blessings, joy, humor out the wazoo (mostly thanks to Bob).
This man is a gracious person to everyone he meets. Even as I type this he is serving the needy at Inter Parish Ministry.
Serving picnic food on a sweltering evening with Empower Youth ministry
He will serve as an Election Official at the upcoming election. I know what a high cost that is physically, yet he does it as a matter of civic duty. Since he serves in the district where we live he also enjoys getting to see his neighbors who come to vote.
Since retirement he has taken on the duty of major dish washer in our home. That is besides being the auto maintenance person, general overseer of finances, etc., etc., etc.
This man is a blessing to me beyond my words to describe. There is so much more to say, but I will leave it at that.
Happy Birthday Robert. I love you dearly. Guess I best get busy with that carrot cake he loves!
Yesterday. September 1, daughter’s family was robbed while they were in a Safeway grocery store in Oakland, California. They had not yet checked into their Air B & B and all their backpacks (packed with electronics and medications from air travel) were still in the van. Some how Safeway does not sound like a safe way to shop! The parking lot is on top of the grocery as land in that area is at a premium. I have been there often with Bob.
Thieves broke the back window and swiped all but 1 backpack. Go figure! Four laptop computers, oh my! And one grandgirl became hysterical over all of it. They thankfully left the suitcases with their clothing.
This morning I am rejoicing that no one was injured or confronted. My son-in-law and one Grandgirl ran down the street following the pings the computers put out for location. They found nothing. The ‘security guard’ in the parking lot was useless. He evidently was to one side talking with friends when it happened.
Yes, Police were called and proper reports filed. My daughter waited 4 hours for a tow truck and replacement van. Never showed up. Finally drove to nearest location of the car rental place to get a replacement.
She is working with pharmacies in Ohio to get refills on medications. Of course, on a holiday weekend that is very difficult. If no refills remain it could be hard to reach a prescribing doctor!
They will likely never face the thieves in a courtroom. They do however now come face to face with the quote, “People are more important than things.“
And the power of prayer. I sent out numerous prayer requests as soon as Bob notified me of the robbery. It was extremely difficult to get the one Grandgirl to calm down. Eventually she did. Two family members thanked me via text for praying. I hope they each realize the power of God to comfort us. I cannot imagine how those male family members would have reacted had they seen the robbery in progress? Just the fact that 2 of the family relied on Apple to help them follow pings makes my heart skip a beat.
Puts me in mind of a plaque in our home.
I also have a calligraphy that I read often to help me regain my center in times like this.
Prayer by Tod Loder, art by Holy Monroe
Lord keep my family in all of their ways, I pray. Help them to know Your closeness in times of feeling violated. If possible, show them how to recover the stolen items. Regardless, open their eyes and hearts to know Your presence and protection in all situations. I pray You will keep them in the remainder of their vacation time.
There are many people who shun written prayers and just as many others who rely upon them. I actually do both. Do not even know now where I recently came across this prayer. John Wesley interests me because before I was born my Grandfather Snapp was a Methodist minister. He died before I arrived. It is said that those who knew Allen Ross Snapp (1876 to 1946) loved him. I have also heard he preached hell fire and brimstone. Wish I could find a record of one of his sermons. I would love to have known him.
My mother, Her father, Allen Ross, back row 2 of her 5 brothers, Frank Snapp and Howard Snapp
When I was looking for a church to get baptized in at age 15 I visited quite a few. The Methodist one I visited did not do a lot for my young questing heart. Later, we did join Clough United Methodist where our young baby son was dedicated to the Lord.
This prayer, often used in January services among the Methodists, spoke to my heart. Surely Grandpa Snapp used it in his services, too! I am certain you will hear refrains of Paul’s letters in it. I sincerely hope you can read, pray and recite it with a genuine heart of dedication to Christ.
I am no longer my own by Yours. Put me to what You will, rank me with whom You will. Put me to doing, put me to suffering. Let me be employed for You or laid aside for You, exalted for You or brought low for You. Let me be full, let me be empty. Let me have all things, let me have nothing. I freely and wholeheartedly yield all things to Your pleasure and disposal. And now, glorious and blessed God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, You are mine and I am Yours. So be it. And the covenant now made on earth, let it be ratified in heaven. Amen.
And set to music
I pray you can give yourself to the Lord, if not today, then very soon. One church challenged their members to read this daily for 100 days. You might want to try that!
When I was a child we lived many of my early years in a four-family apartment building. My mother owned it and we rented out the other 3 apartments. Each unit was 2 bedroom, 1 bath. We had a paved driveway to play on. It ran along the side of the building, (a great place to play with a pinky ball or hopscotch) and a lower parking lot where we could ride bikes. The other side of the building had a strip of garden where I could find bugs and honeybees to experiment upon.
One of my favorite places was the closet under the stairs. In the basement, which at times flooded, there was a closet where my parents stored paint for the apartments. Due to the flooding there was a fragrance of dried mud on concrete. This closet had a door that could be locked from the inside and one light bulb. I would often go in there to hide from my family. I would turn over a paint can to use for a stool. Eventually I began swiping birthday cake candles to use in there so I could turn off the light. I had no idea I could have set the place ablaze with candles and paint cans!
Over time I began using thumbtacks to put up pictures of Jesus on the wall studs from various family funerals. The only person I showed the place to was my best friend Dana. Other than that it was private.
Recently during a Soul Collage retreat I was reminded of that secret place. Looking back I realized it was my early place of refuge and inspiration. For this collage, I tried to find a photo of a paint can. The only one I found was silly with polka dots on top of red paint.
The images each represent something to me. Clockwise from 11:00, they represent the Holy Spirit by the figure in the white cowl. The stained glass the church. The paper with words and the pencil, writing to His glory. The stream in the center is the Living Water. The candle for the basement closet with the paint can. The open hand, yielding to the Trinity. In one form or another all these things occurred or began in the secret worship place.
What is the foundation of your faith? Did you have spiritual formation in a secret place?
I once read The Secret Garden by Burnett. This quote sums up these ideas for me.
“Where you tend a rose my lad, a thistle cannot grow.” ― Francis Hodgson Burnett
I do not think Father God waits until the last moment to call and transform us. I believe He begins early in our life and continues until we answer the call to come to Him. Jesus said that in the book of John.
No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day. John 6:44 NIV
So much of our faith is formed and prospers in private.
Return to the Lord and find your resting place in Him. Surrender to the call upon your soul and spirit.
I was in hysterics watching this. Sent it to most of my friends. Hilarious!! Click on the link. You can ignore the sign in for Facebook and just watch the video. Don’t bother with the sound. The subtitles are so funny!
On the national news the same night was this clip. One of our Grandgirls is fluent in sign language, so, of course, I had to send it to her with the suggestion that she train her 2 Corgis this way! You do want the sound on for this one, unless of course, you know sign language!
Lizzie and Drew’s Corgis, like in the first video, live with several cats!
Mom had bunches of sayings. Likely Your Mom did, too?
“You know it’s so!” does not even have an image for this day and age!
“Don’t chase the pain.” Take your post-op pain medications on a schedule. Do not wait until the pain overwhelms you.
“Let’s get this show on the road.” The Random House Dictionary of America’s Popular Proverbs and Sayings says this expression originated in the world of traveling theater productions and was in common use by the 1930s, having originated around 1910.
Remember when television shows would admonish you, “Don’t touch that dial!” Now we don’t even have dials any more with all the remote controls and now even voice controls!
“Nothing ever has to be true for people to believe it.” Sadly, America does not “run on Dunkin” as much as this saying.
“She always said you might as well hope for the best as go around fearing the worst.” Hillary Greene
Once I was riding a public bus and asked an older man how he was doing today. His response, “Okay. Can’t complain. Complain’ never did any good any way!”
Hope I made you think about sayings you know and perhaps smile once or twice?
I have been asked to explore some other methods of telling my story besides the blog and poetry. So I have attempted to put a few memories down on paper. This will be a 2 part read since it has many more words than most blog posts ever attempt.
At age three I broke my thigh playing with my sister and her older friends in a neighbor’s driveway. They were doing Double Dutch jump rope where they swing two ropes simultaneously in opposite directions and you jump in on the side of one of the rope turners. (See photo above.) The girls let me try. I broke my leg. Obviously, way too complicated a sport for a 3-year-old. Someone ran to my house and told mom. She came to get me.
We rode to Good Samaritan hospital from Loveland to Clifton in the car. I was in the back seat. I only remember someone lifted me into the back seat. There were no freeways then. No idea how long it took us to get to Good Samaritan. I was taken to that hospital because my Dad was already admitted there with a heart attack.
The hospital doctors decided to put my leg in traction for six weeks to heal. I suppose they numbed my leg or more likely put me to sleep when they set my leg? I have no memory of that. When they put me in traction, I do remember being furious that they put me in diapers. I was so insulted. I was certainly fully potty trained! It was hot and there was no air conditioning. My long dark hair was cut off in a short choppy bob. Below is a photo of me in traction, hair cut short and sweating. Once while I was asleep, the staff brought my meal. When I awoke the milk was no longer cold. I loved cold milk. My mother obtained a glass of ice and poured my milk over it. I was so angry. I had never had milk like that. Could be I was a 3-year-old brat? Or simply confused and frustrated at my new situation.
One day during my stay they rolled my bed into the room where my dad was a patient. It was such an unusual situation for a young child. I do remember he talked with me and our hands touching.
Someone came to visit and brought me a white stuffed dog that I named Casey. He had a metal nose (which at age 73 I still have). His ears seemed to be made from real fur, sort of like a curly tanned hide. The rest of him was a stuffed white dog shape. Someone else brought me Brach’s cream filled Royal caramel rolls in a metal can. To this day I use that can for candy. Once I saw the same can used as a prop in a movie!
I do not remember there being a television in my room. I am certain televisions were not standard equipment in 1954. Certainly, no computer tablet to play upon. I might have tried to color, but lying down that would have been difficult! Hopefully someone read me stories.
After six weeks, my leg was put in a cast. I do remember being alone with the Sisters of Charity when they decided it was time to cast my leg. Somewhere to my side, across the room, there was a sink. Men in white coats came towards me with large white steaming sheets. I had no idea what those were. I was so frightened. Those men began to wrap my leg in the warm plaster preparation. The nuns comforted me. I left that hospital wanting to be a nun. I have no idea where my mother was during the casting. Perhaps she was not allowed in the treatment room? Maybe she was with my dad in the cardiac unit? All I do know is that the nuns (in full habits) comforted me. I went home in the cast.
I left the hospital wanting to be a nun. My parents bought me a Nun doll for Christmas. I have her tiny rosary in my keepsake cabinet. When I chose to be baptized my mother forbid me to become a Roman Catholic. She said my grandfather, a Methodist minister, would roll over in his grave. I eventually joined the Episcopal church. They came closest to what I felt was true worship. Also, as close as you can get to being a Catholic but without the Pope and such strong emphasis on Mary.
Doll sized rosary on tiny altar to remind me to make a of sacrifice of praise to the Lord our God
It must have been difficult for my mom to care for me, especially while my dad recovered from yet another heart attack. I do know we had a babysitter named Myrtle. Towards the end of her life, she wanted to see my sister and me one more time. She visited us because she was dying of cancer. She gave my sister and me a tiny white New Testament and signed it “Love, Myrt and Gerald.” My first and at times best New Testament! I still have it and use it occasionally.
I have no memory of the doctor or a tech taking me out of the cast. I do not remember any kind of physical therapy. I do remember the doctor talking with my mother about fears that one leg would be shorter than the other.
As you read this I am on my way to a six night, seven day retreat with my spiritual director. I made this adventure last year and am really looking forward to the experience once again. So I likely will not be posting on the blog next week. My typical routine is to write on Monday and Tuesday mornings and post Wednesday through Sunday. This week I will reside in a Sisters of Charity guest room. Private room with half bath, shared but private shower room. All meals included plus nice grounds for walking, rooms for prayer, art work. Just a lovely place. They even have a huge church in the building if I want to go there.
We changed from one internet/TV/phone provider to another last week so Bob in particular has been busy, busy this week with setting up remote controls, learning the remote basics and getting us all situated. I typed a smaller channel guide from the large one they provided.
I have been learning how to use the CGM, (Continuous Glucose Monitor) to make my decisions about foods I eat, how often I eat, etc. The two most annoying things are when the alarm from this device rings in the night and when it loses signal. I even changed the device implanted on my arm on my own this week! Took out the old one (painless). Inserted the new one which was painless but still foreign to me. The hardest thing was getting the container for the new one open. I had to get Bob to do it. I was not strong enough. Grrr. Doctor has changed when I take one of the diabetic medications. We are still working to adjust some aspects of my care.
Lucky, our special beagle is improving with her new monthly arthritis injection, Librela. Her tail is much more straight as she walks now and she can walk further than 2 months ago. She still gets stiff (we can relate!) but she seems to be in much less pain.
Bob has resumed riding his bike at least once a week. We both walk for exercise most every morning. I have been clocking at least one mile a day. Told myself I can take a day off when there is morning rain. Trying to work up to longer walks which will be a challenge in this hot, humid weather. Ha! at the convent I can even walk when it rains! No idea how many times I will need to circle a floor to get a mile! Not quite ready to attempt their indoor stairs.
Three old dogs living here and maybe not new tricks, but adapting to changing ages, technology and health. Whew! It can be a lot of work to keep up, stay calm and work at something you are unfamiliar with. So that is the Dutina update!
I pray you are each doing your fair share of adapting to change and growing in new technological advances!
The photo above shows the outside of what remains of the church called Teampall Bhreacain, Na Seacht dTeampaill, County Galway, Ireland. I believe it is also known as Church of the Hollow. I think r m dutina took all of these photos, but honestly I cannot remember. We were wandering separately around the grounds. When he caught up to me I could barely speak!
The altar from afar
Through the window of the ages Past the thick walls of time Stands a symbol of death Nay! Bright resurrection Hope of all men
The rough stones placed In geometrically sound patterns Of worship, of honor, of praise Roofless now that heaven may freely break through to us of long ages later Arches , capstones, edges of time Torn by the worship of long ago Until our hearts are lifted up To worship the same lovely truth
You came for us You come to us still To have us for Your own Encircling with Spirit Invading with Holy Illumine our techno age With truth of heaven Power of Holy Spirit of Life.
Why would I want to return to Church of the Hollow at Inishmore? I could have sat there for hours, listening, praying, in worship and wonder. Next time I would return with a folding chair!
