I am almost always moved by the various quotes I receive in my email each day. I love this insight of Howard Thurman. Wikipedia says: Howard Washington Thurman (November 18, 1899 – April 10, 1981) was an American author, philosopher, theologian, Christian mystic, educator, and civil rightsleader.
In the stillness of the quiet, if we listen, we can hear the whisper in the heart giving strength to weakness, courage to fear, hope to despair.
HOWARD THURMAN
This was one wise man. How often do we listen in the stillness of the quiet?
Reading a novel last night I came across this quote. “Sometimes it was good to kick his brain into neutral and just exist.” Neutral like watch the dog eat, hear the spring peepers. Listen to the rain. Hear water gurgle and grumble in the downspout. Smile at the sunshine today.
Richard Rohr quotes a priest as having taught him just to look. Don’t think. Just look.
Practice this today. See where you land. Try it several times throughout the day. Make it a sacrifice of praise to God. Letting the Holy One have the action, the dialogue, directing your eyes and thoughts.
It is an amazing practice IF we will listen and just look. The stillness of the quiet. Dropping our inner chatter.
Many years ago when we went with our family to the beach for the first time our oldest Grandgirl at a tender preschool age called flamingos, “Falingos.” On our recent trip to Florida we visited the Sunken Gardens and saw “Falingos!” Of course, I had to text and remind her of the name she chose for these weird, unusual birds.
Once I heard that they have their coral coloring from the shrimp that they eat. “For flamingos, carotenoids are consumed through their primary food sources—algae and small crustaceans such as brine shrimp. Once ingested, these pigments are broken down by enzymes in the flamingo’s liver and absorbed into fats that are later deposited into their feathers, skin, and even their beaks.” https://learnbirdwatching.com/why-are-flamingos-pink/
I would call the birds we saw a medium pink. Not the vibrant they showed on the website above.
Our first view of the flamingos
In “Alice in Wonderland,” the flamingos were used as mallets in a game of flamingo croquet. The Queen of Hearts ordered her subjects to use the live flamingos as mallets. This certainly slanted my opinion of the flamingos as we walked through the gardens.
Finally we came upon a closer view of them. At first they all seemed to have their heads under the water. Diving they sort of resembled frozen pink turkeys! Waiting and biding my time I finally I got a better photo of them.
We enjoyed the gardens. The many tropical flowers reminded us of our trip to the gardens in Hawaii. The pond where the birds were located attached to a running stream throughout the gardens. At one place, I noticed a flamingo feather floating the water. It was away from where the birds were. I SO wanted that feather, but it was too far in the water for me to reach over the plants and retrieve it.
As we moseyed along taking photos admiring the “angel trumpet flower” (Brugmansia) which we had seen in California I was delighted to find it in more colors than we previously had seen! Not just yellow, but pink and white, too!
And rounding a bend I saw it! The lovely flamingo feather that wanted to travel to Ohio with me!
It was soaking wet, but floating where I could easily reach it. Retrieve it I did! First I tried to put it inside my sunhat, but it poked through. So I simply wrapped it in our folder about the Gardens and took it home. I had to think a bit when we returned to Ohio about how the folder got all wet!
Yep, she is one of my very best souvenirs! Thanks, Lord, for helping me see and retrieve it!
The Episcopal Church has a process whereby things are added to parts of the Prayer Book. The Baptismal Covenant is under review right now. (I won’t try to elaborate on the process that goes through General Convention, etc.) These following statements are being considered for inclusion in the Covenant.
Will you strive for justice and peace among all, and respect the dignity of the Earth and of every human being?
I will with God’s Help
Will you strive to safeguard the integrity of God’s creation, and respect, sustain and renew the life of the Earth?
I will with God’s Help
I think those are terrific statements to make, especially if we hold to them dearly as we do the other statements.
The Book of Common Prayer Pages 304-305
Read these prayerfully, perhaps renewing your commitment to faith in God.
Celebrant
Do you believe in God the Father?
People
I believe in God, the Father almighty, creator of heaven and earth.
Celebrant
Do you believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God?
People
I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord. He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit and born of the Virgin Mary. He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried. He descended to the dead. On the third day he rose again. He ascended into heaven, and is seated at the right hand of the Father. He will come again to judge the living and the dead.
Celebrant
Do you believe in God the Holy Spirit?
People
I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic Church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting.
Celebrant
Will you continue in the apostles’ teaching and fellowship, in the breaking of the bread, and in the prayers?
People
I will, with God’s help.
Celebrant
Will you persevere in resisting evil, and, whenever you fall into sin, repent and return to the Lord?
People
I will, with God’s help.
Celebrant
Will you persevere in resisting evil, and, whenever you fall into sin, repent and return to the Lord?
People
I will, with God’s help.
304 Holy Baptism
Celebrant
Will you proclaim by word and example the Good News of God in Christ?
People
I will, with God’s help.
Celebrant
Will you seek and serve Christ in all persons, loving your neighbor as yourself?
People
I will, with God’s help.
Celebrant
Will you strive for justice and peace among all people, and respect the dignity of every human being?
People
I will, with God’s help.
I pray these are things that you also hold to in your faith walk.
Medication was making it tough to sleep. This phrase dropped into my mind. I was uncertain as to entire lyrics. You have to love this aspect of the internet. I entered the phrase and then I had entire song lyrics, author etc. Here is my story about Whittier and the song.
Dear Lord and Father of Mankind | John G. Whittier written 1872. I have a book of poetry by him that belonged to my grandfather. We had it recovered as it was starting to fall apart.
Dear Lord and Father of mankind, Forgive our foolish ways; Reclothe us in our rightful mind, In purer lives Thy service find, In deeper rev’rence, praise.
O Sabbath rest by Galilee, O calm of hills above, Where Jesus knelt to share with Thee The silence of eternity, Interpreted by love!
Drop Thy still dews of quietness, Till all our strivings cease; Take from our souls the strain and stress, And let our ordered lives confess The beauty of Thy peace.
Breathe through the heats of our desire Thy coolness and Thy balm; Let sense be dumb, let flesh retire; Speak through the earthquake, wind, and fire, O still, small Voice of calm.
In simple trust like theirs who heard Beside the Syrian sea The gracious calling of the Lord, Let us, like them, without a word, Rise up and follow Thee.
Pursuing the topic today I looked it up online. Wikipedia said:
“The text of the hymn is taken from a longer poem, “The Brewing of Soma“. The poem was first published in the April 1872 issue of The Atlantic Monthly. Soma was a sacred ritual drink in Vedic religion, going back to Proto-Indo-Iranian times (ca. 2000 BC), possibly with hallucinogenic properties.
“The storyline is of Vedic priests brewing and drinking Soma in an attempt to experience divinity. It describes the whole population getting drunk on Soma. It compares this to some Christians’ use of “music, incense, vigils drear, and trance, to bring the skies more near, or lift men up to heaven!” But all in vain – it is mere intoxication.
“Whittier ends by describing the true method for contact with the divine, as practised by Quakers: sober lives dedicated to doing God’s will, seeking silence and selflessness in order to hear the “still, small voice”, described in I Kings 19:11-13 as the authentic voice of God, rather than earthquake, wind or fire.
The poem opens with a quote from the Rigveda, attributed to Vasishtha:
These libations mixed with milk have been prepared for Indra: offer Soma to the drinker of Soma. (Rv. vii. 32, trans. Max Müller).
So I found the poem in my grandfather’s book. It has seventeen stanzas. Reading it reminded me of the Mardi Gras celebrations in New Orleans and elsewhere where the celebrants go carnally nuts just before Lent begins. “Mardi Gras, which is also known as Fat Tuesday, is a day of indulgence that marks the end of Carnival.”
So the hymn writers took various stanzas from his poem and arranged them out of order. I want to add one that they seemed to have left out.
With that deep hush subduing all Our words and work that drown The tender whisper of thy call, As noiseless let thy blessing fall As fell thy manna down.
Yes, Lord help us to stop using too many words with You. To wait for the tender whisper of Your call, Your blessing as when Your fell manna. Feed us today with Your word of encouragement, challenge and joy. Yes, we are to once again return to stillness.
Oh crap. Remember those Post-its with so much adhesive? One took off some of the print in Grandfather’s old book of poetry, the poem entitled Disarmament. Foolish me used teh Post-it to count the stanzas and figure out what the hymn folks left out. I found the complete poem online and restored the words. But goodness! Was that necessary? Guess with this brain adjusting yet again to a higher dose of medication, I do stupid things.
Are you feeding upon the Word of God? Are you seeking and drinking in Living Water? Are you thriving in the dark mess the world has become?
Part 3 addresses the How to live imbibition. It takes about 7 minutes to read. Hope you enjoy it.
PART 3 You might say, “Well, Molly, that is all very nice. What am I to do to foster the growth of the Kingdom within me? You have no idea of the pressures upon me, I need a better job (or employment period). The strain of what bad thing will happen next is about to break me. I can’t get any rest. I am not a bean in a ship’s hold.”
First, in my experience, you must make reading the Word of God a major priority in your life. Not a “religious” priority, but mandatory for health, oxygen, well-being. This is the only way we are going to make it through the coming darkness with dignity and grace.
NASB Hebrews 4:12-13 For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are open and laid bare to the eyes of Him with whom we have to do. The Word of God has power. Power we might never understand fully this side of heaven.
As you yield yourself to the Lord God and yield to the power of His Word upon you, things will begin to change, inside you and about you. Not necessarily big dramatic changes, (though those might occur also), but remember the man scattered seed. He went to bed and he got up and the seed grew HE KNEW NOT HOW. Yield yourself to scattering seed upon your own soul. Make it a habit to allow the Kingdom of God room to have a place within you. And you begin with the seeds. You do not have to understand how it works. Just begin to do it. Ask for the Living Water to nourish the seeds you sow in your soul and mind.
Second, you must ask Jesus to give you the things He promises in New Testament Scripture. We live under the New Covenant, the new plan He brought and established by His birth, life among us, death, resurrection, and ascension. There are specific promises and blessings He promises to give us if we seek Him. He will give those to you and He tells us to ASK and keep on asking. You will grow in the things of the Kingdom. Do not ask me to explain to you how you will grow. I do not understand the how, but I do understand the promise and the results. He will give you living water to nourish the seed. You must be willing to consume, absorb, soak up that water.
More from The Living Earth book:“The power of imbibition is a common one in nature, and so is the reproduction of living cells. Combine them, as in a growing plant, and there is a force which can move mountains or easily grow through a blacktop road. A classic experiment in botany was once made with a growing squash plant to test the expansive power of cells. The squash, while still on the vine, was tightly boxed in and weights were added to the framework to keep it enclosed. At first, the young squash moved sixty pounds of weights; a month later two and one half tons were not enough to contain its power of growth.“
Now that sounds like our life, huh? See how much pressure you can put on (and did you notice the humor of what plant they tested, the SQUASH!) and the thing just keeps on growing and busting out! Sounds like a little group in Jerusalem that the religious leaders could not make shut up after their Lord was crucified, died and rose again. Jesus said He will be with us always, even to the end of the age. He told us He and the Father would come to us and live within us. He promised to send His Holy Spirit to guide us and be in us. How can we go wrong with all of them helping us?
Paul says in Colossians 1: 25-27 NIV I have become its (the Church’s) servant by the commission God gave me to present to you the word of God in its fullness–the mystery that has been kept hidden for ages and generations, but is now disclosed to the saints. To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.
This mystery, oh this mystery that we so often belittle by wanting every detail explained. Could you just go with the mystery this once and see where it takes you? Could you risk it all and gain the Kingdom? Would you try once again to soak up, absorb, and consume the living water, and grow into His image in the Kingdom, the image He had in mind when He blew life into your being and wonder into your soul?
Perhaps Paul understood this better than any of us. NIV 1 Corinthians 3: 6-9 I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor. For we are God’s fellow workers; you are God’s field, God’s building.
In the dispute that Paul was addressing, the watering and planting were attributed to different persons. I believe that it would delight the Father’s heart if each person who reads this would determine in their heart to plant the seed of His Word in his or her own soul, soak and water that seed with living water until the Kingdom sprouts up with a force that can move mountains or burst through inches of blacktop. For we are, indeed, His Temple and His Spirit wants to live in us. “Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you?” 1 Corinthians 3:16 If we believe Acts 17:28a “For in Him we live and move and have our being” then His Word must be life and breath to us. We can share this life giving discipline with others. The more we grow, the more others will be drawn to His light and Life.
Yes, the darkness is getting darker and moving in upon the areas we thought would always surely remain bright. However, we have a great High Priest who knows all that we go through. (HEB 4:14-16) He is just waiting for us to run to His throne room to find mercy and grace in time of need. He wants to abide with us, in the quiet times as well as the turbulent hours. Yield to His ways and find His quiet strength. As you run to Him and yield to Him, even in the midst of great darkness, you will find Isaiah 61:11 becoming a reality in your daily life.
For as the soil makes the sprout come up and a garden causes seeds to grow, so the Sovereign Lord will make righteousness and praise spring up before all nations.
Constant fellowship with the Spirit, growing trust in the Son, and adoration of the Father will result in righteousness and praise springing forth from your lips and overflowing from your life. Perhaps the river of living water in the depth of our being is a foretaste of the river of the water of life in Revelation 22:1 that issues from the Throne of God and of the Lamb! Even so, rule and reign in us, Christ Jesus, our King of kings and Lord of lords.
I want to tell you a story that has not left me over the years. The theme is how we can draw upon what the Lord has provided for us to prosper in this life regardless of dire circumstance. It is a long story so I plan to post it in three parts. This first section is about a six minute read.
Darkness is moving in. There are wars and rumors of wars. Daily we hear reports of thousands of troops and machines, guns and tanks moving from region to region. Children are being kidnapped at record numbers. Public places are bombed regularly. Children are involved in crimes of pornography, rape and even murder. Darkness is closing in upon us all. How will we cope in the aftermath of 911 and Covid, since we are convinced now that “Things will never, ever be the same.” Is there something new that Christians should be doing to draw upon their source of life? Has the Lord brought a new dimension to our livelihood or have we just not made the most of what He told us to do in the first place?
Do you suppose He meant what is recorded in MT 24:7-13?
“You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains.
“Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of Me. At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.”
“But those who stand firm to the end will be saved.” How do you plan to do that standing? In Ephesians 6, Paul said that having put on the armor of God we are to stand, and stand therefore and pray. There have been times when I was not certain I had the strength to stand. Yet, the Lord God came and commanded me to stand up anyway. In my spirit, and with His help, I was enabled to stand, because I yielded to His authority as my Lord God Almighty. I did not think I could. He said I was to do it. He stood there with me until I tried and then He made it possible for me to stand up. But, I digress.
There are so many lessons spelled out for us in the natural world. Mind you, I do not confuse my faith with “tree hugging.” I have heard God teach me through rocks and turtles, rain and bird wings, rotting things and green sprouts. I want to share a lesson that I filed away years ago. I knew there was truth here, but until recently, I have never tried to express it. So here goes!
Jesus tells a parable in MK 4: 26-29 “The kingdom of God is as if someone would scatter seed on the ground, and would sleep and rise night and day, and the seed would sprout and grow, he does not know how. The earth produces of itself, first the stalk, then the head, then the full grain in the head. But when the grain is ripe, at once he goes in with his sickle, because the harvest has come.”
Oh, my friends who want a full explanation of how God does things and why! Here is a parable you will not enjoy wrestling with, but you might be better off for giving it a close look. Perhaps we are the farmer. We spread what we know about the kingdom of God. We go about the business of our lives and we have not a clue how the kingdom grows. When it is harvest time, we rejoice and send in the giant American mowers to reap as many fields as possible in air conditioned comfort.
J. B. Phillips translates it this way: “The kingdom of God is like a man scattering seed on the ground and then going to bed each night and getting up every morning, while the seed sprouts and grows up though he has NO IDEA HOW IT HAPPENS. The earth produces a crop without any help from anyone: first a blade, the ear of corn, then the full-grown grain in the ear. And as soon as the crop is ready, he sends his reapers in without delay for the harvest-time has come.”
We truly have no idea how the kingdom of God grows. History has shown us that it does grow very well under pressure. The numbers within the Chinese church multiplied and continue to multiply even during oppression of any expression of faith. When the wall fell in Berlin, and Communist Russia began to open to the West, the churches found more believers than ever known before. No one is certain how many remain within the privacy and confines of home churches, still fearful of the repressive tactics of their governments. Now it is obvious, especially in most highly populated urban areas of America, that Christianity is not as widely accepted and embraced as in the past. So how will those of us who truly love the Lord Jesus Christ keep our love for Him warm? How might we endure to the end?
In 1 PET 1:23 the NIV reads “For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God.” Born by the Word, the enduring and living Word of God. Do you make that your priority every single day? If the Word is the means by which we were born, I believe it is also the means by which our life continues to be nourished and encouraged. As the darkness grows darker we had best remember that the Psalmist declares that God’s Word is a lamp for our feet and a light for our path (PS 119: 105). The NASB says: “for you have been born again not of seed which is perishable but imperishable, that is, through the living and abiding word of God.”
How can the Word of God abide in me if I constantly fill myself with other things and diversions and leisure pastimes and pleasures and wants and wanton desires and everything else under the sun?
Until next time, I implore you to feed on the Word of God. You can start with a Psalm per day and a Proverb per day. Of try some chapters in Mark. Feed some place in your Bible. If you do not have a bible, get one. I like paper best because I can mark in it , take notes, and not lose them in the cloud. If you like electronic try Bible Gateway. I find it easy to use.
Many women in America suffer from body image disgust. I came across a photo from when my kids were little. We were at a beach and I was in a swimsuit. I can remember seeing myself in that swimsuit and thinking at the time how I needed to lose weight. Looking at it now, “NOT SO!” I had a great figure.
Are there things about yourself you do not like or accept? When the diagnosis of aneurysm came I started to think my body had failed me. Yet, someone mentioned to me that one neurologist believes that this flaw in a blood vessel may have been there since birth and gradually weakened and enlarged over time!
There is great power in accepting things as they are, not wishing our lives were different as much as adjusting our expectations to how things truly are. One powerful book teaches that concept. “Radical Acceptance” has helped me avoid unnecessary suffering by coming to terms with reality. Tara Brach teaches, similar to Brother Lawrence, that we should cut short the negative thoughts and go for the ideas that move us forward.
And I said to my body, softly, “I want to be your friend.” It took a long breath. And replied, “I have been waiting my whole life for this.” Nayyirah Waheed
Isn’t that quote a lovely word picture? Are we willing to befriend our body and do whatever is necessary for the best care we can give it? One man I know is reluctant to participate in physical therapy. When PT is prescribed there is something we need help working on to get us to the best place possible.
I could list a thousand ways these ideas apply. You likely know your own ways. So try to befriend your earthen vessel and inhabit it as best you can, giving the best care you can.
Recently we were given tickets to see the Wizard of Oz ballet. What a treat! I was reminded as the Scarecrow wanted a brain; the Tin Man pined for a heart and the Cowardly Lion was desperate for courage, how I likely have all the things I need for my journey on earth. The Wizard showed the Tin Man, Scarecrow and Lion that they had already shown heart , brains and courage on the journey with Dorothy.
His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 2 Peter 1:3 NIV
Our God is more mighty than any pretend Wizard. He has promised and given us everything we need, as Peter wrote, for a godly life. Why should we belittle and denigrate what He has created? We ARE His workmanship. Thankfulness will get us further than shame and negative thinking. I pray you will go forward in this life thanking the Lord for how you are created.
For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10 NIV
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 2 Corinthians 4:7 NIV
Chonda Pierce used to say this verse shows that we are all crackpots!
Do not be afraid, you worm Jacob, little Israel, do not fear, for I myself will help you,” declares the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel. Isaiah 41:14 NIV
I spent many years in Bible study reading commentary by Mathew Henry. He has helped me with difficult passages and furthered my understanding with passages. Henry teaches strongly about humility and I think he is right to do so. We are slow to take the lessons about humility, and too often think too highly of ourselves, blinded by pride and haughty attitudes.
Commenting on this Isaiah passage Matthew Henry wrote: God speaks with tenderness; Fear thou not, for I am with thee: not only within call, but present with thee. Art thou weak? I will strengthen thee. Art thou in want of friends? I will help thee in the time of need. Art thou ready to fall? I will uphold thee with that right hand which is full of righteousness, dealing forth rewards and punishments. It is the worm Jacob; so little, so weak, so despised and trampled on by every body. God’s people are as worms, in humble thoughts of themselves, and in their enemies’ haughty thoughts of them; worms, but not vipers, not of the serpent’s seed. Every part of God’s word is calculated to humble man’s pride, and to make him appear little in his own eyes. The Lord will help them, for he is their Redeemer. God has provided comforts to supply all their wants, and to answer all their prayers. Our way to heaven lies through the wilderness of this world. The soul of man is in want, and seeks for satisfaction; but becomes weary of seeking that in the world, which is not to be had in it. Yet they shall have a constant supply, where one would least expect it. I will open rivers of grace, rivers of living water, which Christ spake of the Spirit, John 7:38,39. When God sets up his church in the Gentile wilderness, there shall be a great change, as if thorns and briers were turned into cedars, and fir-trees, and myrtles. These blessings are kept for the poor in spirit, who long for Divine enlightening, pardon, and holiness. And God will render their barren souls fruitful in the grace of his Spirit, that all who behold may consider it.
Henry considers our position as worms as God sees us. Isaiah calls us “little Israel” not mighty nation. He is not trying to belittle us but call us to right thinking. We are the little lambs of the Mighty King.
Amy Carmichael wrote in Rose from Brier, chapter entitled Worms. “There is a feeling I( can only call it worminess) that can come, between 2:00 and 3:00 in the morning, when all the fight seems to be drained out of us It is really a very horrid feeling, but the word of our God is equal to anything- even to this. At such a time, clear through the fog and stuffiness and the oppression of the enemy, the worminess, came this Fear not, thou worm!
“It was startling; it was so exactly it. There was no smooth saying that things were not as they were. They were wormy. I was wormy. Well, then, “Fear not”; He who loves us best knows us best; He meets us just where we are. But He Does not leave us there. There is power in the word of the King to effect what it commands. In the Fear not of our God (a word repeated in one form or another from Genesis to Revelation) there is power to endue with what at the moment is most lacking in the one to whom it is spoken, be it courage, or the will to endure and to triumph which so easily slips away from us, or the love that we need so much if we are to help others, the love that never fails, or the wisdom which is not in us, and which we must have if we are to make right decisions, or just common hope and patience to carry on in peace and joyfulness of spirit. O Lord, I am nothing before Thee, a worm and no man.”
Here is an audio of the passage from minute 1:23 to 3:07
The photo below brought forth guffaws of laughter from me early one spring. The birds had made a mess of the office window. I went outside determined to clean it off. When I looked down, trying to be careful not to crush the crown of a fern, I saw this worm moving. It was almost the exact color of the spent fronds. I hurried to get my phone to snap a photo. It had emerged from the center of the crown and was digging its way back into the earth.
Isn’t the camouflage amazing? Had it not moved I would never have seen it!
I am God’s little worm. The Godhead has promised to provide courage, the will to endure, power to triumph which is sorely lacking in at 2AM. The promises are there for love and wisdom, hope and patience and fortitude to carry on in peace and with joyfulness of spirit.
Rest in the Presence of this holy Trinity and absorb what you need to carry on. I am now taking three medications for hypertension and the side effects are lousy. For me, perhaps the worse one, is increased muscle pain. Fibromyalgia already makes chronic pain an ugly companion of mine. These meds seem to trigger it to a more potent level. So I am resting in God, crawling through the mud of side effects, and awaiting the medical plan for my next step. I am trusting in the word that says my Redeemer will help me. I hope my appearance, like that little worm, might bring someone surprised laughter!
When our kids were about to leave home I was very saddened to have that part of our lives end, change, whatever. Many people asked if I could just be excited to observe who they would become. Eventually I did get excited to be an observer of their lives.
Lately I was reading in The Book of Joy about survivors of the holocaust. Edith Eva Eger said, “The only thing that kept a person alive was the acceptance of the reality of one’s existence and the attempt to respond as best one could. CURIOSITY about what would happen next, even when she was left for dead in a pile of bodies, was often all she had to pull herself forward to the next breath. When we accept what is happening now, we can be curious about what might happen next.Those who could remain curious had the best chances of surviving. Can I accept that this is really my body that is being discussed in terms of cardiology and possible surgery? Curious. Hmm. Can I become curious about where all this health stuff is going? That might also help with survival from the stress!
So many people say to me “I just know you are going to be all right!” Sure hope they are right! This is the most troubling medical news I have ever had. Can I stay curious regardless of the news going forward?
I like the artwork of Mary Engelbreit. This year I asked for another page-a-day calendar by her. I had no idea how much I would need her collected wisdom and encouragement! This was the image shortly after I read the quote about the survivors of the concentration camps.
If you have ever waited for results from medical testing, or for the actual tests, if it was a long wait, you might have run into boredom. Isn’t the quote above so true? I want to remain curious about my health and well-being. This is not the Cardiology world of 1961 when my father died from repeated cardiac events! I remember when Dr. DeBakey developed the artificial heart. I was so delighted for the patients and families and so sad that it was too late for my Dad. Today the idea of replacing an aorta is not thought of as a big deal, (except by the patient)!
So yes, I keep reading and trying to educate myself as to the possibilities for repair, replacement, survival, etc. The survival rate from aorta replacement surgery is good. As long as they operate before a rupture (sometimes called a dissection).
As you can read I am a little obsessed with the topic. When it is your body you can put your head in the sand and hope it goes away, or find out as much as you can to make a reasonably sound decision when the time comes.
Many years ago I found this statement and put it into cross stitch. “Self Care is not selfish.” This was crucial for me as I ventured into healing from a family of alcoholism and criticism. A friend who was enrolled in Weight Watchers loved it and needed to hear it, too. I eventually threw it in a drawer and come across it from time to time.
Saint Francis is quoted as saying at the end of his life that he wished he had taken better care of Brother Ass. That was his name for his body. He participated in many methods of extreme ascetic practices. I never did that, but my Brother Ass could have used more tender loving care. I tried to cling to Paul’s verse, but was never good at it for very long.
but I pommel my body and subdue it, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified. 1 Corinthians 9:27 RSV
On the other hand, I live in America and am overfed and under exercised. I can give you whole lists of reasons trying to justify my lack of consistent exercise, but that is not my point. Did I take enough good care of myself? Probably not.
Self-care is never a selfish act – it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others. -Parker Palmer
This heart health crisis shows me that no, I did not do all that I should have to take care of myself. I worked hard on my emotional health, psychological health, spiritual health, but more than likely my physical health went by the wayside. Yes, I adapted healthy recipes and tried not to feed our family things known to be unhealthy. But physical self-care for me? Not much of a priority.
Brother Lawrence taught me that “Useless thoughts spoil everything and much mischief begins there. We ought to reject them as soon as we perceived their impertinence and return to our communion with God.” So I speak with God about these failures in my past and accept forgiveness. Then move back into communion with Him: speaking to Him, my heart open towards the Trinity. Guilt and shame only get me stuck in the muck.
All we have is now. That is why it is called the present. The present moment of seeking the Holy One, staying with thoughts of compassion, love unconditional and infinite, intimate knowledge.
I am already making dietary changes from regular brewed coffee ( I love it!) to espresso or tea. I need to find a tasty decaf coffee at the store. From regular tea to decaf only. (What do I do with those Starbucks dollars in my account? I can hear my husband saying he will use them to buy desserts or sandwiches there!)
You know your own weakness, be it not enough exercise or too much caffeine and/or sugar. Are you giving enough thought to your own self-care in all aspects of your life? I am praying you find a balance for each one. Below is a chart from the Mayo Clinic to help you get started. It does not show the grams of carbs. I won’t get started on that! I left off the part about energy drinks. I do not use them, but they are loaded with caffeine on purpose!
Coffee drinks
Size in oz. (mL)
Caffeine (mg)
Brewed
8 (237)
96
Brewed, decaf
8 (237)
2
Espresso
1 (30)
64
Espresso, decaf
1 (30)
0
Instant
8 (237)
62
Instant, decaf
8 (237)
2
Teas
Size in oz. (mL)
Caffeine (mg)
Brewed black
8 (237)
47
Brewed black, decaf
8 (237)
2
Brewed green
8 (237)
28
Ready-to-drink, bottled
8 (237)
19
Sodas
Size in oz. (mL)
Caffeine (mg)
Citrus (most brands)
8 (237)
0
Cola
8 (237)
22
Root beer (most brands)
8 (237)
0
Embrace the gift of today with open communication with the Lord, a clean slate, sins recognized and forgiven, moving on in the present with the Presence and into a bright future.
If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord; so then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s. Romans 15:8 NRSVU
Treasures in Plain Sight, A Christian Blog 