Many women in America suffer from body image disgust. I came across a photo from when my kids were little. We were at a beach and I was in a swimsuit. I can remember seeing myself in that swimsuit and thinking at the time how I needed to lose weight. Looking at it now, “NOT SO!” I had a great figure.
Are there things about yourself you do not like or accept? When the diagnosis of aneurysm came I started to think my body had failed me. Yet, someone mentioned to me that one neurologist believes that this flaw in a blood vessel may have been there since birth and gradually weakened and enlarged over time!
There is great power in accepting things as they are, not wishing our lives were different as much as adjusting our expectations to how things truly are. One powerful book teaches that concept. “Radical Acceptance” has helped me avoid unnecessary suffering by coming to terms with reality. Tara Brach teaches, similar to Brother Lawrence, that we should cut short the negative thoughts and go for the ideas that move us forward.
And I said to my body, softly, “I want to be your friend.” It took a long breath. And replied, “I have been waiting my whole life for this.” Nayyirah Waheed
Isn’t that quote a lovely word picture? Are we willing to befriend our body and do whatever is necessary for the best care we can give it? One man I know is reluctant to participate in physical therapy. When PT is prescribed there is something we need help working on to get us to the best place possible.
I could list a thousand ways these ideas apply. You likely know your own ways. So try to befriend your earthen vessel and inhabit it as best you can, giving the best care you can.
Recently we were given tickets to see the Wizard of Oz ballet. What a treat! I was reminded as the Scarecrow wanted a brain; the Tin Man pined for a heart and the Cowardly Lion was desperate for courage, how I likely have all the things I need for my journey on earth. The Wizard showed the Tin Man, Scarecrow and Lion that they had already shown heart , brains and courage on the journey with Dorothy.
His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 2 Peter 1:3 NIV
Our God is more mighty than any pretend Wizard. He has promised and given us everything we need, as Peter wrote, for a godly life. Why should we belittle and denigrate what He has created? We ARE His workmanship. Thankfulness will get us further than shame and negative thinking. I pray you will go forward in this life thanking the Lord for how you are created.
For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10 NIV
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 2 Corinthians 4:7 NIV
Chonda Pierce used to say this verse shows that we are all crackpots!
As I was writing the blog entry about Uncertainty I kept hearing this bird call really, really loud! I knew it was familiar but could not see the bird. Finally I needed something out in the garage. We have had our garage window open lately to dry up the floor from rain and snow the car carried in. The screen is in tact to keep the bugs and critters out.
Oh my! There inside the garage window screen were 2 Carolina Wrens, perched together! We had opened the garage earlier and Bob closed it when he went out to run an errand. Poor babies! (Though they are adults, they are tiny.)
Less than 2 minutes of this video will let you hear their song.
I love what I call their sticky-up tails. As the video says they are less than an ounce. When puffed up in winter they appear larger that that!
I was delighted to open the garage door and set them free.
Be careful not to capture your treasures in plain sight! They might get distressed!!
“But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you; 8 or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish in the sea inform you. 9 Which of all these does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this? 10 In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind.” Job 12:7-10
This is truly not prayer for a burglar’s success from the movie Topkapi of 1964! There is an image though that came to me during meditative prayer. The image involves the robber dropping down from the glass ceiling and carrying a knife in his teeth. His goal is to steal a dagger encrusted with jewels and replace it with a fake dagger. In 1991 I attended at retreat at the Convent of the Transfiguration. What follows is my journal entry.
Sister Margaret taught, “There aren’t any conditions of prayer. There are some things we can do to become more receptive to God. We can wait and desire God in hopeful expectation.” She taught about God’s Presence as a jewel, prayer as a treasured jewel.
Then we had a time of meditation and prayer – meditative prayer. Winfield Blevins says, “In personal prayer we speak to God, but in meditative prayer we allow God to speak to us through His word and His Spirit.” (I would add that God speaks to us, too, through images we can relate to.)
So during that retreat of November,1991 I envisioned and wrote:
“I see the treasure, as jewels in a case, the multi-faceted beauty of God’s love and wisdom.
As in Topkapi, the lid is lifted and I enter the treasures of His Glory as a frog enters a pond.
I go to what others believe is the bottom and as I still my soul, the treasure box opens and I drop as a rough stone through the beauteous treasure of His wisdom and glory, into the depth of His love.
I may stop for a while but it is as if I am merely perched on a ledge for I have yet to comprehend the depth or length or height of His love.
I wait on that ledge, rooted and grounded in love absorbing massive quantities of nourishment silently.”
I rejoice over Your promise like one who finds vast treasure.Psalm 119:162 HCSB
-you are being rooted and grounded in love. I pray that you may have the power to comprehend, with all the saints, what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.Ephesians 3:17b-19 NRSV
So many years have passed since I wrote that. I have learned so much about my God and prayer, yet I still have so very much to learn! And oh the glory of His treasures! I cannot emphasize that too much! Dropping down into silence and prayer is NEVER a waste of our time.
“The sword used by Roman soldiers was a short sword known as a gladius; and in the hands of a skilled man, it was a fearsome weapon. In fact, it became known as the sword that conquered the world. It was sharpened on both sides, making it lethal against an unarmored foe. The point was also sharpened, enabling it to pierce armor.
“Usually around 20 to 30 inches long, the gladius was not the medieval-style long sword usually associated with the armor of God.
“This Roman sword was light (around 2 pounds), short and designed to be wielded easily with one hand while the other hand grasped the shield. Its size meant it could be drawn in close quarters, and its sharpened edges made it a threat to any enemy who got too close.”
Perhaps that vision of the bejeweled dagger in Topkapi was not too far off! I saw the movie and decades later one scene came in my meditative prayer time. I have never forgotten that experience. Now I am writing this out for you. Below is a clip of the movie scene.
May you discover the treasures of prayer as you drop into the deeper layers of knowing our God.
There are many opportunities to serve in the ministry of Ignatian Spirituality Project. From drivers to bakers, retreat team leaders and members to intercessors there are always needs to be filled. One year on September 15 I was privileged to serve on the team for an ISP Follow-up meeting at the Convent of the Transfiguration. We had held a retreat in August and now was the day for the past participants to reunite for a day of prayer and reflection. The team gathered at Friday evening for a planning meeting and a more restful night than if we had stayed at home.
As we set up the final touches Saturday morning I was reflecting upon how many joyous and rich experiences I have enjoyed at this retreat house over the past twenty years. Now I was here with a team of 3 serving 5 participants who hunger for a deeper relationship with God and recovery from various addictions.
Some of my duties involved scurrying around the grounds. At lunch I gave our Team Leader the key to the retreat house, assuming she would get back to the cottage before I finished what I needed to do. I did my errand and noticed I was the only one on the grounds when I made it outside. I took a leisurely walk through the grounds. The retreat house was locked. I wandered over to the fenced in vegetable garden to wait.
I have always had a fondness for blue morning glories and I noticed they were growing on the fence surrounding the garden, up some of the tomato plants, into the squash, generally delighting the garden with splashes of blue here and there. I suddenly realized I had not made a centering, quiet moment since early morning! Looking at the blue flowers I rested in the lovely color splashed along the fence. Then I focused on one flower. It had a black center. “Wait!” I thought, “Morning glories do not have black centers!” Looking more closely I realized I was looking at a bee inside the flower. He was moving just slightly so I knew he was alive in there. I watched and waited, and waited. He was in there a very long time. What could one bee do for so long? Don’t they flit from flower to flower? I could see that his black bottom was covered with yellow pollen. My first impulse was “Where is my camera?” Instead of leaving and missing his next move I waited. The bee lingered in there. I was amazed that this little morning glory flower had that much nectar to lure a rather large bee to stay for such a long time. Then slowly the bee started to back out of the flower. He was covered with yellow pollen. His legs were spangled with it. His abdomen almost more yellow than black. He staggered out of the flower. The limp petals could barely hold his weight. He was diligently cleaning his proboscis. Come to think of it, I did not remember ever seeing the proboscis of a bee before!
The flower kept folding under his weight and he moved to a bush close by. Still at eye level I had to see what he was doing so I moved closer. As I watched him extend his proboscis further and yet further and clean the length of his tongue with his “paws” I heard the Lord saying, “You cannot spend too much time with Me. There is no such thing as drinking too much living water from My well. Just as the bee seemed to linger an inordinate amount of time, you cannot come here too often or remain with Me too long. Share the “pollen” you collect and rest in this assurance.”
I had experienced my quiet moment during retreat, and what a moment it was! I had an open door opportunity to share the experience with one participant. During our final closing I determined I would not speak unless everyone else had the chance and it was obvious the Lord wanted me to share. The window of opportunity was wide and I told the group what I saw and learned in the garden.
Oh Lord, help us continue to linger in the flower of Your presence, drinking in Your living water. Give us courage to share with others the treasures You give so abundantly. Amen.
Living Water
How much time are you spending with the Lord? Do you regularly drink from the living water? Do you linger in the presence of the Trinity? Are you sharing with others what you hear and experience during that time? This lingering is not a waste of time. It is the source of life.
We walked the old abandoned road, now a trail, with folded umbrellas, eager to see what was happening this early spring at our favorite walk. Perhaps to find some wildflowers beside the creek in the woods before it drops down to the man-made lake? Balmy weather had enticed us to shorts. The naturalists had ordered tree and shrub hedgerows knocked down. Age and weather had removed a large cedar. Its blue berries, previous botanical décor at the edge of the old road trail, now gone forever.
We turned the corner amazed at the huge pile of dead trees and shrubs awaiting bonfire or perhaps burial in the field? I wondered about lost nesting places for birds and hiding places of wild life.
I whistled with the red-winged black birds as they trilled their welcome to the area about the pond.
We turned another corner wondering aloud if we should turn back? Brooding black clouds covered the south western sky with what looked like a ponderous load of rain. The stream area with the possibility of wild flowers urged us on. We said to one another, “What’s a little rain?” as the first drops pelted us. We were not certain the full storm would even reach us. We walked on and the wind picked up. I wondered if umbrellas were a good idea as lightening flashed in the distance. And suddenly the heavens opened and the umbrellas, too!
Making it to the creek I realized the rapid heat of this spring season had sent an over-growth of foliage. There was one variety of white flower, possibly from some settlers bulb placed years ago? With the changing rain intensity we decided to turn back to the car. We walked up the gradual hill on the paved trail. By the time we reached the pond and field area we were drenched. Socks squished inside sodden shoes. The rain began to come in sheets driven by the wind. I rarely experience this anymore beyond a view from the window! As the sheets drenched us from behind and moved before us I saw the depressions in the old road fill with water and flow towards and then behind us. I deliberately arranged my rapid walking to avoid the gathered running water where possible. We started getting cold, sopping wet under our umbrellas. Regardless, it was quite glorious to be walking in the rain, walking amidst the power and the glory of God!
The rain lessened; the wind calmed. Red wings returned to their song. I looked one in the eye as I tried to imitate his song. He seemed to ponder the tune for a moment and then winged away.
We were grateful for the shelter of the car. On the ride home it was extremely difficult to remove my drenched socks. It took a full day for shoes and socks to dry out. I am impressed forever by wrapping waves of rain and rivulets gaining strength around my feet on their way downhill to the lake.
When was the last time you walked in the rain on purpose? Hope it was recently or will be soon!
Do not be afraid, you worm Jacob, little Israel, do not fear, for I myself will help you,” declares the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel. Isaiah 41:14 NIV
I spent many years in Bible study reading commentary by Mathew Henry. He has helped me with difficult passages and furthered my understanding with passages. Henry teaches strongly about humility and I think he is right to do so. We are slow to take the lessons about humility, and too often think too highly of ourselves, blinded by pride and haughty attitudes.
Commenting on this Isaiah passage Matthew Henry wrote: God speaks with tenderness; Fear thou not, for I am with thee: not only within call, but present with thee. Art thou weak? I will strengthen thee. Art thou in want of friends? I will help thee in the time of need. Art thou ready to fall? I will uphold thee with that right hand which is full of righteousness, dealing forth rewards and punishments. It is the worm Jacob; so little, so weak, so despised and trampled on by every body. God’s people are as worms, in humble thoughts of themselves, and in their enemies’ haughty thoughts of them; worms, but not vipers, not of the serpent’s seed. Every part of God’s word is calculated to humble man’s pride, and to make him appear little in his own eyes. The Lord will help them, for he is their Redeemer. God has provided comforts to supply all their wants, and to answer all their prayers. Our way to heaven lies through the wilderness of this world. The soul of man is in want, and seeks for satisfaction; but becomes weary of seeking that in the world, which is not to be had in it. Yet they shall have a constant supply, where one would least expect it. I will open rivers of grace, rivers of living water, which Christ spake of the Spirit, John 7:38,39. When God sets up his church in the Gentile wilderness, there shall be a great change, as if thorns and briers were turned into cedars, and fir-trees, and myrtles. These blessings are kept for the poor in spirit, who long for Divine enlightening, pardon, and holiness. And God will render their barren souls fruitful in the grace of his Spirit, that all who behold may consider it.
Henry considers our position as worms as God sees us. Isaiah calls us “little Israel” not mighty nation. He is not trying to belittle us but call us to right thinking. We are the little lambs of the Mighty King.
Amy Carmichael wrote in Rose from Brier, chapter entitled Worms. “There is a feeling I( can only call it worminess) that can come, between 2:00 and 3:00 in the morning, when all the fight seems to be drained out of us It is really a very horrid feeling, but the word of our God is equal to anything- even to this. At such a time, clear through the fog and stuffiness and the oppression of the enemy, the worminess, came this Fear not, thou worm!
“It was startling; it was so exactly it. There was no smooth saying that things were not as they were. They were wormy. I was wormy. Well, then, “Fear not”; He who loves us best knows us best; He meets us just where we are. But He Does not leave us there. There is power in the word of the King to effect what it commands. In the Fear not of our God (a word repeated in one form or another from Genesis to Revelation) there is power to endue with what at the moment is most lacking in the one to whom it is spoken, be it courage, or the will to endure and to triumph which so easily slips away from us, or the love that we need so much if we are to help others, the love that never fails, or the wisdom which is not in us, and which we must have if we are to make right decisions, or just common hope and patience to carry on in peace and joyfulness of spirit. O Lord, I am nothing before Thee, a worm and no man.”
Here is an audio of the passage from minute 1:23 to 3:07
The photo below brought forth guffaws of laughter from me early one spring. The birds had made a mess of the office window. I went outside determined to clean it off. When I looked down, trying to be careful not to crush the crown of a fern, I saw this worm moving. It was almost the exact color of the spent fronds. I hurried to get my phone to snap a photo. It had emerged from the center of the crown and was digging its way back into the earth.
Isn’t the camouflage amazing? Had it not moved I would never have seen it!
I am God’s little worm. The Godhead has promised to provide courage, the will to endure, power to triumph which is sorely lacking in at 2AM. The promises are there for love and wisdom, hope and patience and fortitude to carry on in peace and with joyfulness of spirit.
Rest in the Presence of this holy Trinity and absorb what you need to carry on. I am now taking three medications for hypertension and the side effects are lousy. For me, perhaps the worse one, is increased muscle pain. Fibromyalgia already makes chronic pain an ugly companion of mine. These meds seem to trigger it to a more potent level. So I am resting in God, crawling through the mud of side effects, and awaiting the medical plan for my next step. I am trusting in the word that says my Redeemer will help me. I hope my appearance, like that little worm, might bring someone surprised laughter!
We have experienced sunrise and sunset at different places in America. It is always so sweet to experience this in a crowd when the crowd breaks out in spontaneous applause at the grandeur of God’s creation.
At times, if we are paying attention, we experience similar things when we are alone. Then we celebrate as the audience of one, celebrating the One who did the creating. Thus, the following poem.
The black cloud perfect backdrop As sun clears the trees in east Lighting up treetop to west Blazing red, swirling gold Under layer of green A momentary glimpse of autumn Grandeur rarely seen Marvel of God’s handiwork How was that even possible That I looked up Just then to see it? Camera could not catch it properly Totally gone now Just gray rainy day Orang-ish maple No big deal A few chirping birds Patter of drops on fallen leaves Applause of the crowd fading
When our kids were about to leave home I was very saddened to have that part of our lives end, change, whatever. Many people asked if I could just be excited to observe who they would become. Eventually I did get excited to be an observer of their lives.
Lately I was reading in The Book of Joy about survivors of the holocaust. Edith Eva Eger said, “The only thing that kept a person alive was the acceptance of the reality of one’s existence and the attempt to respond as best one could. CURIOSITY about what would happen next, even when she was left for dead in a pile of bodies, was often all she had to pull herself forward to the next breath. When we accept what is happening now, we can be curious about what might happen next.Those who could remain curious had the best chances of surviving. Can I accept that this is really my body that is being discussed in terms of cardiology and possible surgery? Curious. Hmm. Can I become curious about where all this health stuff is going? That might also help with survival from the stress!
So many people say to me “I just know you are going to be all right!” Sure hope they are right! This is the most troubling medical news I have ever had. Can I stay curious regardless of the news going forward?
I like the artwork of Mary Engelbreit. This year I asked for another page-a-day calendar by her. I had no idea how much I would need her collected wisdom and encouragement! This was the image shortly after I read the quote about the survivors of the concentration camps.
If you have ever waited for results from medical testing, or for the actual tests, if it was a long wait, you might have run into boredom. Isn’t the quote above so true? I want to remain curious about my health and well-being. This is not the Cardiology world of 1961 when my father died from repeated cardiac events! I remember when Dr. DeBakey developed the artificial heart. I was so delighted for the patients and families and so sad that it was too late for my Dad. Today the idea of replacing an aorta is not thought of as a big deal, (except by the patient)!
So yes, I keep reading and trying to educate myself as to the possibilities for repair, replacement, survival, etc. The survival rate from aorta replacement surgery is good. As long as they operate before a rupture (sometimes called a dissection).
As you can read I am a little obsessed with the topic. When it is your body you can put your head in the sand and hope it goes away, or find out as much as you can to make a reasonably sound decision when the time comes.
At our first home at times we were blessed to have a flicker visit the bird feeder. If I only caught a glimpse as it flew away I could tell it was a Flicker by the yellow band under its tail. It had a very long beak, black stripe under the chin like a fancy man ready fora night out. Black cheeks, red spot on back of the head. BUT WAIT!! There’s more!! Dashes and dots on the feathers.
Northern Flicker photo from online
At our house now they have decided that they are hungry enough to come to the suet feeder right outside the office window. Just now I heard a chirping. Rolled slowed back in my chair to see who was there. And wow! Was I delighted!! Like the photo above it had suet on its beak.
That is almost too much decoration for a single bird! Welcome glamour girl, (or boy)!
There have also been loads of bluebirds throughout the winter! Even though the Grackles finished off the dried meal worms, the bluebirds keep coming for the suet and seeds.
Blessed for their company this winter, photo from online
Some say lovely, I say ugh! Online photo
The starlings and I have a battle over the feeder. They are terrified of movement and I am quick to shoo them away every chance I get.They leave poop every where. Can empty a feeder in nothing flat and decimate a suet block “Presto-Chango” to nothing!
As soon as I find meal worms again I will fill that feeder. For now, birdies, it is seed and suet for y’all!
Do you ever wonder where they all sleep at night?
26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? Matthew 6: 26-27
Which of you by worrying can add one more beat to his heart? No, the heart issue is not resolved and never far from my mind. I am trying to take the advice of my LORD and rest in His care.
We have totally dismantled the office. My computer and the printer will be the last things to go this evening. We will lose our Wi-Fi for a bit also!! Oh the joy of moving and not moving. We are excited about the new flooring (all 9 boxes) but not the need to reassemble everything.
Does anyone know how to keep pill bugs out? Evidently they find a space where the carpet meets the wall. I found dozens of dead ones in the office closet where storage tubs have been stacked. I do not want to hire an exterminator.
I suppose we will live without the Wi-Fi and the luxury of our computers set up and ready to go. At least for one day! Not like we are in a storm ravaged part of the country where all belongings are gone. Not complaining, just musing how spoiled we are.
It has been above freezing for a few days here, yet plenty cold at night. Have terrible black ice to our front door. Still almost solid yards of snow from yard to yard in the subdivision. The sun came out and I under-dressed when I went outside. The wind is still cold! Oh right! Winter is still here.
Bob can walk across the top of this snow on the deck. It stormed snow, then ice. Then gradually thawed and refroze and we now have a permanent block until it gets warm enough to melt it all! Even the beagle was flummoxed what to do out there! She had about 2 feet next to house where she could sit. She gave up and came back in.
Last year we had practically no snow at all. This year has been the opposite. Just weeks ago people were asking if I thought this heat would ever end!
Stay warm! Rejoice that winter does not last 10 months! We will enjoy the daffodils and new leaves even more after all this!
“Bless the Lord, all rain and dew; sing praise to him and highly exalt him forever. 65 Bless the Lord, all you winds; sing praise to him and highly exalt him forever. 66 Bless the Lord, fire and heat; sing praise to him and highly exalt him forever. 67 Bless the Lord, winter cold and summer heat; sing praise to him and highly exalt him forever. 68 Bless the Lord, dews and falling snow; sing praise to him and highly exalt him forever. 69 Bless the Lord, ice and cold; sing praise to him and highly exalt him forever. 70 Bless the Lord, frosts and snows; sing praise to him and highly exalt him forever. 71 Bless the Lord, nights and days; sing praise to him and highly exalt him forever. 72 Bless the Lord, light and darkness; sing praise to him and highly exalt him forever. 73 Bless the Lord, lightnings and clouds; sing praise to him and highly exalt him forever.
74 “Let the earth bless the Lord; let it sing praise to him and highly exalt him forever.” Daniel 3:64-74
We people need to bless the Lord even with rain and dew, winds, fire and heat, ice and cold, frosts and snow, nights and days PRAISE HIM AND HIGHLY EXALT HIM FOREVER!
Treasures in Plain Sight, A Christian Blog 