Yes! I have been impacted by these quotes and books. I pray the quotes bring you encouragement as well as food for thought.
The basic idea of being a disciple, in the New Testament, is being with Jesus, learning to be like Him. The disciple {since the resurrection} is someone who is with Jesus, still, learning to be like Him. That’s a status. Disciple is a status; spiritual formation is a process. Renovated by Jim Wilder
Spiritual formation, in the Christian sense, is the process of transformation that occurs to the disciple. Such transformation involves emotional and spiritual maturity. And if we are not disciples, we won’t move forward in that process. You cannot experience spiritual transformation – transformation onto the likeness of Christ – without being a disciple of Christ. Renovated by Jim Wilder
So now you see the seriousness of accepting a form of Christianity that does not involve being a disciple. If a disciple is defined as one who is “learning from Jesus how to lead my life as He would lead my life if He were I,” we have to ask ourselves Is that me? Then we have to answer honestly in terms of what is happening in our life. And then we have to ask Have I chosen that? And if I have chosen it, what am I doing to carry through with it?
All of those questions made me sit back and question my life, my church life, my path forward with the Lord. Won’t you take a moment to examen yourself in light of what Jim Wilder and Dallas Willard teach? I think these questions are of utmost importance for us as we attempt to follow Jesus through this life.
One question they pose reminds me of Ignatian spirituality. “If a disciple is learning from Jesus how to live, what am I learning from Him now? What have I learned from Him in the past? How does that whole progression look? As a disciple, my consciously chosen aim is to learn the life of Jesus, and I am constantly arranging and rearranging my affairs to realize this goal.”
I am an Associate at the Convent of the Transfiguration. The teachings about transformation remind me that Jesus calls me to also be transfigured – my old self for the New Creation He wants to create in me.
These two authors Jim Wilder and Tyler Staton are impacting my thoughts, words and deeds with Gospel truths. May they bring you closer to discipleship, too.
I have been reading Jim Wilder’s book “Renovated: God, Dallas Willard and the Church That Transforms” and Tyler Staton’s book, “Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools.” Both have me taking notes and being challenged in my walk.
Jim Wilder studied under Dallas Willard. Most of the things I have noted from the book are Dallas’s words. It is such a meaty book that I read it in small portions at a time. I am about 45% finished with it. If I am quoting Jim instead of Dallas please forgive me.
Here are some quotes that have had me thinking.
“Christian formation is the process of taking on the character of Christ. That means the person begins to think with – to have beliefs and images and ways of interpreting things that are characteristic of – Christ. This process begins at what we call “the birth from above” – the impartation or implantation of a new life in the person. The record of history and Scripture testify that salvation is best thought of as having a new kind of life.” from Renovated
There is debate within the church as to when exactly this process occurs. Tyler Staton notes that at some point we will notice the change within ourselves. More importantly for me recently, I must ask myself if I am truly interpreting things I ponder within me through the new life Christ has given to me.
Often I fail at this and need to confess and begin again. (Love that booklet from the Benedictines that is entitled, “Always we Begin Again.“)
The activity of the new kind of life that we mean by “birth from above” is reliance upon Christ and God for everything – the restoration of the relationship to God intended for us in the first place and that alone enables us to fulfill our nature. To “seek first the Kingdom of God and His kind of righteousness” is the natural response to the new life that has come to you. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 12:3, “If you believe that Jesus is Lord, that is because of the Spirit that has moved in you.” You actually believe that. from Renovated
Taking on the character of Christ. I love the recent lyric from Abandoned by Benjamin William Hastings that says, “My one life’s endeavor, to match Your surrender, to mirror not my will but Yours.” Father, help me to yield to this goal!
Does your home church foster this sort of growth? ‘Restoration of the relationship to God intended for us in the first place’?
Pursuing this type of life, “the restoration of the relationship to God intended for us in the first place” requires my constant awareness of my motives and purposes. Tyler notes that sin is agreed upon as a major problem in the world by every ‘historical era, cultures and philosophies.’
Believing in the existence of God has never really been the hang-up for us humans. Across cultures and eras, the existence of something bigger than us has always been the popular opinion. Even today, in a post-Enlightenment, highly skeptical society bent on deconstruction, the majority of people believe in some kind of deity who is running the show. from Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools
The hang-up is, and has always been, trusting the God we believe exists. …Adam and Eve trusted themselves, not the God they believed in. And that is what the Bible calls sin – good desire channeled through the wrong means. Sin is shorthand for any attempt to meet our deep needs by our own resources.from Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools
If I am to truly live from the new life that has been given to me, I must lay aside my mistaken attempts to meet my own needs and trust that God will take care of me. In every way. In every single day.
As you read this Bob and I are traveling to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. This looks like a daunting trip to us! We planned it without realizing at first that we will be in a different motel every single night. There is one place where we stay 2 nights, but overall it means moving suitcases, etc. back and forth to the car daily for a full week. We have not done this since we began aging so dramatically! Oh my! What have we gotten ourselves into? And it is all our own doing. We are so accustomed to going on vacation, unpacking the first day and making small car trips from that location. I will spend a few hours trying to figure out how to pack differently for myself so there is not all this perpetual suitcase hauling. (I just realized I like the instrumental music playing as I write. The song is entitled Fossils. How appropriate! LOL)
So Father God, I turn over our travel needs to You. Show us how to see all these Michigan sights without completely wearing ourselves out. If there is any way possible help us to witness the northern lights with our own eyes at Copper Harbor! Show us how to find an agate on the beach. Help us to live the imparted new life Christ has given us as we meet new people, with different accents, different lifestyles and foods. Most of all, help us to not only glorify Your name but to look to You in all things. We seek Your Kingdom and Your righteousness in Ohio and in Michigan.
I ordered a book by Tyler Staton entitled Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools. At the time it seemed a good idea. I put it in my Christian Book Distributors cart and then forgot it for a while. Recently I had cause to place an order with CBD. I included this book in my order.
This morning when I started reading it I was struck almost immediately why I needed this, yet another tome about prayer.
Most of us get about knee-deep in the Christian life, discover that the water feels fine, and stop there. We never swim in the depths of the divine intimacy Jesus won for us. This book is an invitation to swim. Page 5 Introduction
Yes, he captured my attention with those few sentences. As a long time prayer person and intercessor there is often a need to boost my enthusiasm for the prayer effort. Not that talking with my Father is always an effort, but I get stymied at times. I likely will be quoting this author for a while.
3 As the man went eastward with a measuring line in his hand, he measured off a thousand cubits and then led me through water that was ankle-deep. 4 He measured off another thousand cubits and led me through water that was knee-deep. He measured off another thousand and led me through water that was up to the waist. 5 He measured off another thousand, but now it was a river that I could not cross, because the water had risen and was deep enough to swim in—a river that no one could cross. Ezekiel 47:3-5 NIV
How deep are you willing to go with God? Bob will be traveling to California soon and I will have the house alone with Lucky dog. I am hoping this will be a time of deeper prayer for me! Sort of a retreat at my home address. That can be difficult to pull off, but I am ready for it!
Most of you know how much I like the music of Christy Nockels. Her husband is often her collaborator. She asked him to write an instrumental album with music she could have playing while she was writing. This is one selection from his creation. And creative he certainly is!
Please use this music to help you pause and draw closer to the Living God as you are called to go deeper with the Mighty Trinity. You might want to use the entire album for your prayer time?
About a week ago I awoke from an afternoon nap with portions of this song resounding in my head. It took me a while, but with the help of the internet I located the song. I have the CD from years ago and it had been a very long time since I heard it. I just love how the Holy Spirit can bring things back to our remembrance! I was greatly comforted by the lyrics.
Here is another recording of the same song from the Everglades correctional institution in Miami, FL. It has come familiar Christian refrains at the end.
Last week I went to a meeting. My friend who is 87 has recently had chemo and radiation. She just learned the cancer is not gone. Awaiting word from doctor if there is a medication she can take to mitigate the spread. There is a surgery, but doctor is afraid she would not survive that.
Then met a friend for lunch. Towards the end of our lunch she told me her husband is suffering again from the mental illness that plagued him earlier in life. He spent one week in a hospital and then checked himself out against doctors wishes. He has not adapted well to life at home. She cannot sleep as he roams the house all hours of the night.
Same day I saw a familiar face at the grocery. As we passed a second time I stopped and said I know I should know you but cannot think of your name. She said, “Me too!” We reminded each other of our names. She had recently suffered from breast cancer. Finished her treatments and was fine. Then last Easter she began vomiting and could not stop. At the hospital they did a CT Scan and found a mass on her pancreas. When I saw her at the store she was wearing a chemo head cover. My heart just sank. Her husband had a terrible mouth and tongue cancer a few years ago. He has recovered, but oh, now this!
Then my 81 year old cousin called to let me know she is at her daughter’s house recovering from a broken hip. At least a neighbor found her quickly and the neighbors are all taking care of her house and her mail while she is at the daughter’s house in another town.
I have told you about my illnesses and medical challenges. I also know we each have our own brokenness and sufferings. I learned years ago it is not good to compare my pain to someone else’s. We cannot know what goes on in another persons body and mind. It is not good to diminish our own problems by looking at other people and telling ourselves, “It’s not that bad,” when in fact for you personally, things can be bad.
Baby Francesca, you might remember, was born with a heart defect. I asked you to pray for her almost a year ago. She was in the hospital for almost a full year before a heart transplant came through. She had a very long surgery, but I am happy to report she is home now and doing well!
My friend’s husband was eventually readmitted to the hospital. Pray he cooperates with his treatment.
So what about your pain, my pain? Our personal pain and suffering is valid because it is ours. My pain does not compare to yours because only you can know what your pain does to you. We must learn to respect the suffering of others and also respect ourselves and what we suffer.
The revisionary surgery the doc wants to do on my toe sounds awful and painful, but the recovery of no weight bearing for 8 weeks is just as awful as the procedure itself. We do not struggle with cancer though I know a little bit about the pain of living with mental illness, but that is not in my marriage or my husband. I have never had a child with a life threatening heart condition. I can barely comprehend the joy of having that child healed, restored and released to my home. So far, Bob and I have not had to face cancer or its treatment in our later years of life. A hip fracture might be in my future or my husband’s, but not so far. Does that diminish what I might have to face?
Patience and empathy with one another is necessary. Kindness and offering help to others is what the Gospel calls us to do. How can you be Jesus with feet and hands to those around you who suffer?
We are also taught to be gentle with ourselves. If I have no grace for my own suffering then how authentic will my compassion be for others? Scripture says to “Love your neighbor AS yourself.” (Leviticus 19:18, Matthew 19:19, 22:39, Mark, Luke, Romans, Galatians and James) James calls it the royal law. James 2:8 NIV
Most merciful God, we confess that we have sinned against you in thought, word, and deed, by what we have done, and by what we have left undone. We have not loved you with our whole heart; we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves.
Here I add {We have not loved ourselves as You want us to.}
We are truly sorry and we humbly repent. For the sake of your Son Jesus Christ, have mercy on us and forgive us; that we may delight in your will, and walk in your ways, to the glory of your Name. Amen.BCP Post Communion Prayer
God made you and He loves you;therefore who are you to not love and cherish yourself. I am not talking about selfishness here. I am stressing self-care.
How are you at this skill? I encourage you to pray for those around you who are suffering. I also challenge you to touch the deep places of your soul to make certain you are doing your best to recognize your own needs. If you need prayer ask for it. Spend time with the Lord of your heart to learn about areas you may have neglected. Make certain you are transparent with yourself and with God. He loves you dearly, and expects no less from you towards yourself and your various struggles.
Trust Him to lead you in all paths of righteousness.
Yesterday I pulled down a branch on our oak tree to get a better look at the acorn growing on a higher branch. Indeed, it is a burr oak acorn! So pleased. The story continues:
One little acorn speaking to me so loudly about “the site of your tent, the curtains of your habitation, stretched out; do not hold back; lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes.” This acorn calls to you also. Where are you holding back in your life? Who are you hiding your affection from? Those in your immediate family need and want to hear from you. Though you might never have been one to speak in the past, they need to know your heart. They are craving a word from you, an insight into your feelings, and how your actions relate to your emotions. They want to know you, beyond the superficial shell that you present. They are hungry to truly know and understand your deepest self. Those whom God has placed in your daily life are there for a purpose also. Examine the site of your tent. Is there a way you can stretch out the curtain and place of your habitation? Ask the Father for the courage to move forward. Pray He will show you how to lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes. Joyce Meier says you are to “deposit yourself with God and let God use you to bless others.”
Isaiah 54 goes on in verses 4 and 5 to say:
Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; do not be discouraged, for you will not suffer disgrace; for you will forget the shame of your youth, and the disgrace of your widowhood you will remember no more. For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth He is called.
Usually the greatest fear in becoming new is that people won’t like us. “People pleasing” quashes the move of God more often than the devil ever attempted. Here the Word assures us that if we will try, God will come alongside and help us to do what we could not do in our own strength. We “will NOT BE ASHAMED.” Powerful promise there; but first, we have to try.
Can we truly begin to comprehend the magnitude of “your Maker is your Husband?” That is an intimacy few of us reach in this lifetime, and here it is offered in the Old Testament. Now through the New Covenant we have the indwelling Holy Spirit to make this promise a reality. The hard little cap of humanity can hold back the power of God that rests within each true believer. When we choose to put aside the cap, like the one on the Bur Acorn, our lives can feed the hungry multitudes. Remember acorns used to be valuable to people as a food source.
The Internet yielded information on how to make them palatable today. “Native Americans made acorns much more palatable by first blanching the oak nuts (in boiling water) with wood ashes to remove a bitter taste associated with tannins.” The method involves boiling in water with ashes to leach away the tannins and make the nut meal sweeter.
You cannot receive what your Husband has for you as long as you are clutching your unfulfilled dreams in both hands. Take the ashes of your unfulfilled dreams and offer them to God.
your unfulfilled dreams
Living Water
Open your hands to Him. As Christians, we also need to be cleansed with water. Water is mentioned 79 times in 70 verses in the New Testament. Jesus promised that He would give us living water. Another set of instructions for the acorns says they need to be boiled or roasted or both to make them palatable. We are told in Scripture that we may have to go through fire. I have always thought that perhaps like Reynolds Wrap, we go through fire so that we are ‘oven tempered for flexible strength.’ Hebrews 12: 28-29 says
Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our “God is a consuming fire.”
To use acorns as food we are to “collect the acorns in the fall, when ripe. Remove shells and caps. The shells will come off easier if you first slit with a sharp knife.” OUCH! That sounds an awful lot like death of the seed. Crucifixion. To offer myself according to Romans 12:1-2:
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
It seems that nothing will do short of that sharp knife and taking off that shell. So that Bur Acorn led me to ponder. Then to pray. To look up Scripture and pray some more. To begin to risk moving out of where I was comfortable and risk giving parts of my life to others. I have not been ashamed! I am getting to know my Maker a little better as my Husband. In addition, my earthly husband concurs that this is a good thing.
The preparation directions continue saying that “after boiling you may toast the acorns in a 350 degree oven for another hour. They can then be eaten as they are or ground into a flour.” Some people seem to get a harder Christian walk than others do. Looking at the comparative value of acorns as nuts to be eaten or acorns as ground into flour, I can see momentarily the sense in that harder walk. Flour can be used for many more products than nuts can. Of course, the Father will produce breads, cakes, pies, gravy thickeners, coatings for all sorts of products, an endless variety of things with flour. Nuts though have a limited use. Be encouraged if your walk is one where the grinding into flour seems to be the norm. Your flour will go further to spread the kingdom than the acorn that never let its shell be opened. Your flour will go further than the roasted nut that was simply eaten as a snack food. God knows the plans He has for you, as stated in Jeremiah 29:11-14a
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to You. You will seek me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD."
Now I am amused by my pronunciation of the American Indian name… u’tahu can…. perhaps it is something like “You Twah you can.” You saw you can do this. You saw it through months of prayer and preparation through the Scriptures. You saw it through the Holy Spirit opening your eyes to the Father’s desire. Open your heart in love to those around you. Move beyond the usual limited communications and surface talk. Get really intimate with God and then with others. Let the nourishment that your life can be help others to grow into something terrific for the Kingdom. You saw you can through this simple illustration. Now will you?
Next time you see an acorn, ponder how the cap is fitting that covers your acorn life and your rich innermost being. Are you ready to strip away the cap and expose and expand that life for the Lord to use? The old saying is still true, “Mighty oaks from little acorns grow.”
When the tree first arrived to our property I made a point of picking off the galls that were attached to the leaves. We have fed this tree and watered it. The soil here is difficult for anything to grow in. The builders did not help by mixing in huge rocks! In spite of the odds the tree is beginning to thrive! I was thrilled when I realized (once again) that this is a Burr Oak tree.
In 2002, long before we lived here, I wrote a piece about the inspiration I gained from a Bur Oak acorn. I will post it over 2 days, giving you time to ponder the message and trying not to bore you with a LONG read!
Often while I am walking prayerfully, my attention will be drawn to something around me. I will pick up the object and continue on my prayer walk. So it was during the mild February of 2002 while I was on retreat and came across a Bur Oak acorn. As I held it in my hand, continuing my walk and praying, I knew it would unfold its mysteries to me in the days or months to come. As I left the retreat grounds, I placed the acorn on the console of my car. For many months it rode right next to me with this scripture ringing out from it’s hard, pointy cover:
“Enlarge the site of your tent and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out; do not hold back; lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes.” Isaiah 54:2 NRSV
If you are not familiar with the Bur Oak (also at times spelled Burr oak) here is a short history taken from various Internet resources. The tree is tall, fairly slow growing, long-lived, and highly desirable for windbreaks, shelterbelts, and ornamental use. It has an impressive crown with a massive trunk and stout branches. The bur oak adapts to various soils where other oaks fail. The tree is tolerant of urban conditions. The bur will bear acorns in the nursery in ten years. It has strong wood and is good for timber.
The acorn itself is classified as a nut, because of its bony pericarp, and is actually the fruit of the oak tree. Particular to the genus Quercus, the stem broadens to the cupule or cap that holds the oak seed and fruit in place. The burr oak, so named because of its characteristic large seeds or acorns, was known as u’tahu can in the Native American tongue of the Lakota people, meaning acorn stem tree. More than half of the one-inch acorn is enclosed in a fringed, spiny cupule. Native Americans used them as an important dietary item with great storage capability and mobility. Wildlife, including turkeys, blue jays, squirrels, and deer also utilize acorns as a food source that is rich in carbohydrates and fats.
Today we like Bur Oaks for their adaptability to urban conditions. Indians and animals used them for food. What did God want me to see? I see an acorn with an almost impenetrable cover. Hard and dried and in it’s own way thorny. After months of looking at this Bur acorn, I began to realize that this acorn could be me. I could have my fruit “nearly completely covered by a rough, frilled cap.” Though I may ripen “in early to mid-autumn” the fruit would be unpalatable and inaccessible unless I let others have access to the fruit God has given to me.
There are at least two ways we can view the acorn: as a nut/fruit to eat or as a seed to plant. Animals unwittingly spread the Bur oak trees by burying stashes of the nuts and then forgetting where they put them. These nut-seeds may germinate into new oak trees. Therefore, I have choices here! I can remain one tough acorn, almost completely covered with a hard facade, or I can risk opening and revealing what is within. Paul made the same challenge to the Corinthians.
We have spoken frankly to you Corinthians; our heart is wide open to you.There is no restriction in our affections, but only in yours. In return–I speak as to children–open wide your hearts also. 2 Corinthians 6:11-13 NRSV
Moreover, the Living Bible makes it a bit clearer:
Oh, my dear Corinthian friends! I have told you all my feelings; I love you with all my heart. Any coldness still between us is not because of any lack of love on my part, but because your love is too small and does not reach out to me and draw me in. I am talking to you now as if you truly were my very own children. Open your hearts to us! Return our love! 2 COR 6:11-13
My choice to open or remain closed to my Christian brothers and sisters around me is always my choice: daily, weekly, monthly.
The right choice was strongly recommended by our Lord in John 12. He is speaking here about a grain of wheat. An acorn, as the seed is not a far stretch. Thinking of the nut-seed as buried in the ground read John 12.
“I am telling you the truth: If one grain of wheat does not fall into the ground and die, it will always be just one grain of wheat, but if the grain dies, it will produce a large cluster.” And in Simple English “Very truly, I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Those who love their life lose it, and those who hate their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. “ John 12:24-25 NRSV
“Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain. He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” John 12:24 New King James
It seems, through comparison of these three translations, that if I am to open to those around me I must fall into the ground, die to being just a nut seed, and live to becoming a tree plant. Truly a transfiguration! I may choose to remain just an acorn – alone – yet still an acorn. Alternatively, I may choose to move on to the next phase of living that God had in mind when He blew life into my being. Falling into the ground and dying will mean willingly removing my outer impenetrable cover, stripping away my surface persona to become the best that is within me. Hard and dried and in its own way thorny, the familiarity of the husk has become almost more desirable than the risk of the unknown I will face as a growing plant. The Gardener calls me on. (John 15:1)
Do we find this so surprising, that Jesus would ask us to die to our familiar ways and become something new with His help and guidance? Wasn’t He asked to die on our behalf and take on a new life form by our heavenly Father? Constantly, the Father left the task before Jesus as a choice. Jesus chose to become the firstborn from the dead. (Colossians 1:18) He leads the way for us.
Are you willing to yield yourself in surrender to His plans? Will you open wide your heart to His calling and the tasks God sets before you?
I made it to all 3 doctor appointments and the GOOD news is, with hard work I have brought my A1C glucose reading down from 7.2 to 6.5. Whew! More points to go if I want to get off some of the diabetic medications.
Hard work and Continuous Glucose Monitor PAYOFF!
Now for the other news. August 19 I see the Pain Specialist for the radio frequency ablation of nerve in my hip. They will administer sedation but I will need to have feeling so doctor can tell if the needle is in the right place. Ugh. I am not looking forward to this. You can see details about how they do it on YouTube, which I chose not to watch. Just enter “Radio Frequency Ablation” and various videos will pop up. The one I did listen to is just information from a Penn State nurse https://youtu.be/zvH1oNpaHHY?si=YP90KoHFXY4yBn9p
Then for more bad news. To correct my toe with the loose screws the only option is surgery. The procedure would be more complicated this time than it was 5 years ago. He would have to take out all the hardware as the bone has calcified over most of it.
For right now I will get new orthotics on August 26. With the new orthotics I will try walking in an enclosed shoe after the many blister sites heal. They will then decide if I need new shoes. If there is no improvement, the doctor might want to do surgery sooner rather than later. For now, I have time to decide when. Yes, it would require 8 weeks on knee roller again, no weight bearing. When he told me I thought I might puke. The last surgery, after 6 weeks, I was ready to hurt the surgeon. I am 5 years older now and not at all eager to take this on.
I believe eventually the plate and screws that are in there will have to be removed. Next time for repair he would use 2 plates and more screws. He would also shorten the tendon in toe next to great toe. I asked how he would do that. Did not like that answer either. He would snip the tendon. WHAT?!?!?
I keep wondering, “What if I just don’t have it done?”
Stephanie Gretzinger’s song keeps running through my head.
When I was a child we lived many of my early years in a four-family apartment building. My mother owned it and we rented out the other 3 apartments. Each unit was 2 bedroom, 1 bath. We had a paved driveway to play on. It ran along the side of the building, (a great place to play with a pinky ball or hopscotch) and a lower parking lot where we could ride bikes. The other side of the building had a strip of garden where I could find bugs and honeybees to experiment upon.
One of my favorite places was the closet under the stairs. In the basement, which at times flooded, there was a closet where my parents stored paint for the apartments. Due to the flooding there was a fragrance of dried mud on concrete. This closet had a door that could be locked from the inside and one light bulb. I would often go in there to hide from my family. I would turn over a paint can to use for a stool. Eventually I began swiping birthday cake candles to use in there so I could turn off the light. I had no idea I could have set the place ablaze with candles and paint cans!
Over time I began using thumbtacks to put up pictures of Jesus on the wall studs from various family funerals. The only person I showed the place to was my best friend Dana. Other than that it was private.
Recently during a Soul Collage retreat I was reminded of that secret place. Looking back I realized it was my early place of refuge and inspiration. For this collage, I tried to find a photo of a paint can. The only one I found was silly with polka dots on top of red paint.
The images each represent something to me. Clockwise from 11:00, they represent the Holy Spirit by the figure in the white cowl. The stained glass the church. The paper with words and the pencil, writing to His glory. The stream in the center is the Living Water. The candle for the basement closet with the paint can. The open hand, yielding to the Trinity. In one form or another all these things occurred or began in the secret worship place.
What is the foundation of your faith? Did you have spiritual formation in a secret place?
I once read The Secret Garden by Burnett. This quote sums up these ideas for me.
“Where you tend a rose my lad, a thistle cannot grow.” ― Francis Hodgson Burnett
I do not think Father God waits until the last moment to call and transform us. I believe He begins early in our life and continues until we answer the call to come to Him. Jesus said that in the book of John.
No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day. John 6:44 NIV
So much of our faith is formed and prospers in private.
Return to the Lord and find your resting place in Him. Surrender to the call upon your soul and spirit.
Wherever Your glory be best served, whenever, however; there, then, and in that state let me Your servant be; only hide not from me Your divine love.
Help me to trust You to the uttermost.
Teach me to serve You as You deserve; to give, and not to count the cost; to fight, and not to heed the wounds; to toil, and not to look for rest; to labor, and not to ask for reward save that of knowing that I am doing Your will.
Let nothing dim the light that shines from within., not even physical ailments!
Yes, I added, not even physical ailments. I cannot seem to catch a break. There is always something with this body! I decided to walk at least one mile a day in dedicated exercise time. I got a few blisters. Wrapped my toes with slip on cushions. Got blisters on top of blisters. Double slip on cushion, no improvement. Added a Band-aid over the great toe and the cushioned sleeves over that. No relief. Orthotics? Shoes? Just my feet?
Returned to the foot surgeon because I was clueless. The toe he put a steel plate in a few years ago (with six lovely screws) seems to be rising up again. Arthritis had made that toe begin to stick up in the first place. He went in during surgery, removed the bone, shaved it down, turned it over. Screwed it down with the plate. He showed me on the current x-ray that it cannot rise up as the bone tissue has grown over the plate now. But respecting how it feels to me, he ordered a CT scan of that toe.
October 2019 after surgery
In the meantime a more expert orthotist the surgeon knows is going to rebuild a pair of orthotics for me in an attempt to correct what the other guy did wrong. We will not order new shoes yet, though that might be in my near future. Blisters need to heal.
Grrr – you must understand I have never been athletic. As a fibromyalgia person I know that the best treatment is exercise, but I do not feel better after I exercise so I shun it when possible. Even with this summer heat, I had FINALLY talked myself into doing this walking and now I am told to only wear open-toed shoes while my toes heal. Told to stop reaching for this mile a day goal. To get in a pool, or try an elliptical, ride a bike, i.e., find some other form of exercise besides walking. He warned me that if I do change this I could be seeing him in the future for toe amputations. NO diabetic wants to hear that, although Bob and the doc do joke that it might be easier to just cut off my feet.
Let nothing dim the light – Oh Lord! I need your help. And just to add injury to blisters, etc. I stepped down off a little foot stool and happened to step onto one of my shoes. As I went down I twisted toe #4 and #5 underneath my foot. Was not certain if I broke them or not. Purple and sore. When doc did the routine x-ray of that foot he could not see a fracture. Said there is a possibility there is a hairline one that the x-ray did not show. He wrapped it with brown stretchy tape (there is a name for that) and told me to check the toes when I got home to make certain there was no redness from the wrap. Then wrap them anytime I would be walking. By the time I got home I took that tape off because of throbbing toes! It has not been put on again.
So what does this mean in terms of the Maya Angelou quote? Let NOTHING dim the light.
Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him JOB 13:15a
God has not kept my toes from blistering or my feet from having troubles. Even now, I will trust Him.
As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:36-39 NIV
Nothing can separate me from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. I wrote a prayer likely in 2020 and it still rings true today.
I have determined that this day, each time I am drawn up short by pain, I will praise You for I love You better than life - even better than quality of life.
My mother had in her belongings “A Prayer for Those Growing Old.” One stanza read,
Seal my lips when I am inclined to tell of my aches and pains. They are increasing with the years and my love to speak of them grows sweeter as time goes by.
I write all of this to say if you are struggling with physical ailments try to keep Christ Jesus in mind. He never promised to heal every one of us during this lifetime. However, we are told in the book of Revelation that in the new heaven and new earth glorious things await us! There will be no more death, mourning, crying or pain (NIV). That is such a glorious thought it is almost inconceivable. I for one am willing to cling to those promises. Help me hang on to the end, Jesus.
Stay with each one of us, I pray. Fix our eyes on You and Your word. You promised You would never leave us or abandon us. Even to old age, and gray hair I will praise You and declare Your deeds (Psalm 71). You are worthy of our praise, all honor, glory and dominion. You have taught us there is so much more than just this physical life we know.
The lyric from “Show me Your Face” says I will make it to the end, If I can just see Your face, I know I will make it to the end, If I can just see Your face.
“Wherever Your glory is best served.” St. Ignatius prayer
Treasures in Plain Sight, A Christian Blog 