Wonder or Rejoice

There is a perspective lesson about the rose and the thorn. “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”

There is a classroom exercise that encourages individuals to analyze their experiences by focusing on the positive aspects (rose), the negative aspects (thorn), and the potential for growth (bud).

There is likely a situation (or more than one ) where you can apply this perspective in your life. It can easily become a habit to focus on the negative, on the things that are happening that are not what we want or wish for. What if we apply the cross and bring into the foreground the positive aspects of what we are dealing with. A focus on gratitude helps in this respect. Negativity and complaining is easy because it has a focus upon our lack of strength and power. If we apply the resurrected power of Christ, the simple negative dash – become a cross + the symbol for light over darkness, life over death + Christ in us, the hope of glory+ Not I, but Christ in me+

I can wonder why my back hurts so badly in the evening, or I can rejoice that my back does not hurt as badly in the morning!

Just this morning I came across a church sign that said something to the effect”Life not a bed of roses? Remember Who bore the crown of thorns!”

When I was first diagnosed with fibromyalgia I came across a book by Amy Carmichael entitled Rose from Brier. It was truly helpful to me. That is where I was first introduced to the idea of the rose, the thorn, etc. This summary by Jasmin Howell is lovely. Here is the link to her blog https://setapart.org/rose-brier/ “After she sustained a serious injury in the later part of her life, Amy Carmichael, a missionary to India, wrote a short volume of letters, which were published as a book called Rose From Brier. These letters—full of poetry, scripture, personal reflection, and encouraging wisdom — were her way of processing her debilitating injury, an injury that stayed with her until she passed away. The letters were written as an encouragement from one who was ill to others facing similar trials, or as Amy herself put it, “From thy brier shall blow a rose for others.”

So what has inspired you? How can you take this lesson from the rose and apply it to your life? Are there things that just seem like thorn bushes and more thorn bushes? Scripture points out that a fire from thorns burns quickly and is insubstantial for cooking with a steady heat.

I have not admired the Knock Out brand of roses. Yes, they bloom almost continuously but the ones I grew had no lovely fragrance and wicked huge thorns. We tore them out and never bought those again!

I moved this rose twice from house to house. Originally, I bought it in a cellophane wrapped bundle on the cheap one spring. This year it did not flourish. It was such a fragrant rose that I used to dry the petals to make beads with. Gave those saved petals away when we downsized. Yes, it had thorns, but nothing brutal.

The memory of that rose holds me near to the memory that Christ is with me and died for me. Christ lives in me and wants to be a pleasing fragrance to others. Yes, my life and that rose both carry thorns, but the rose is borne upon a thorn bush. Jesus, my rose, is the One who rules and reigns.

The aforementioned book is still available from Amazon for about $8.

What has inspired you? Discard the thorns and cling to that.

Eternal Life as a Way of Living

This?

NO SILLY! Not even close!!!

I was sharing with you from the book Renovated: God, Dallas Willard and Jim Wilder. I want to get back to the idea of living as if eternal life begins now, which I believe is true.

See, eternal life is not something that you get after you are dead. Eternal life is a way of living – now, even as we are alive. Sometimes I think it would help us if instead of talking about eternal life, we talked about eternal living. Eternal living is a matter of living a life so intertwined with the life of God Himself that your life is a part of God’s life. Consider John 17:.3

 And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.John 17:3 NKJV

The knowing Jesus here is not cognitive (knowing what the answers are). Knowing, biblically and in life generally, is a matter of interactive relationship.

We are to know Jesus as we live in the here and now. Know Him through an interactive relationship. How do you do that?

Let me give you an example from my own life this very morning. Bob had a missed call at 5:38 AM. Then when he reached out he was sent a text to please call him. There was a situation someone did not have any experience handling. We both prayed.

I went to the Lord with any unconfessed situations on my part in that particular relationship. I used the book Praying like Monks, etc. as my guideline for this, pages 114-115. I prayed something like this. “I give You all of this Father. I ask that the power of truth and hope rule and reign over and within this relationship. Holy Spirit help us I pray. We have no idea what is going on once again. Wisdom of the ages, be with us and guide us.” I approached this as currently living in Ohio but also living eternally. Adoration, confession, petition and now I give thanks that we can pray with confidence that the Lord has heard us. Move in this situation I pray Father. Through Your Holy Spirit break through and help those in need.

Jim Wilder continues: “Eternal living is this kind of knowing, an interactive relationship. I am living eternally now. That is why Jesus says, “Those who keep my word will never experience or see death.” Why? Because the life they are living now simply continues. And again, consider John 11 at the tomb of Lazarus when Jesus is talking with Martha about resurrection and so on. 25 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. 26 And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?” It wasn’t death He was talking about – He’s talking about life.

Are you willing to give life this kind of perspective? Are you hungry for His presence, His will and His ways? This has meant I need to adjust my perspective on many things. Remember Jesus said if you hate your life here you will keep it? (John 12:25) For me that has meant giving thanks for situations that I have resented or been ungrateful for previously. Turning things in my heart and mind to His way of seeing and doing. Oh Lord, I have so much more to learn about eternal living!

May the Holy Spirit guide and teach each of us in the ways of heaven. I always declare I need all the help I can get! Help me Spirit to relinquish every situation to You, for You alone are omniscient and omnipotent. Omnipresent God touch and heal us all I pray. Amen.

This is Us!

Yes, I would give myself in marriage to Robert Dutina today, even knowing all I know about our life together thus far! Just a wonderful blessing our marriage has been to me!

Today is our big celebration! Married Fifty-four years! Count ’em 54!

There were folks how placed bets it would never last. We never asked Betty Dutina who those betting people were. All I can say is we have lasted thus far!

Live Oak Park, Berkeley, California, 1970

19,723 days. 648 months. 28,401,840minutes. Any way you look at it we have been married a LONG time, but in my eyes not long enough!!

2017 Grand Canyon
Easter on Siesta Drive after Bob had been so ill
My face ached after smiling so much on our wedding day!

And 54 years later I am still smiling!

Happy Anniversary to us! The church prayed over us as we celebrate: “O God, send Your blessing upon these Your servants, that they may so love, honor, and cherish each other in faithfulness and patience, in wisdom and true godliness, that their home may be a haven of blessing and peace; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.” BCP Page 431

Are You A Disciple of Jesus?

Yes! I have been impacted by these quotes and books. I pray the quotes bring you encouragement as well as food for thought.

The basic idea of being a disciple, in the New Testament, is being with Jesus, learning to be like Him. The disciple {since the resurrection} is someone who is with Jesus, still, learning to be like Him. That’s a status. Disciple is a status; spiritual formation is a process. Renovated by Jim Wilder

Spiritual formation, in the Christian sense, is the process of transformation that occurs to the disciple. Such transformation involves emotional and spiritual maturity. And if we are not disciples, we won’t move forward in that process. You cannot experience spiritual transformation – transformation onto the likeness of Christ – without being a disciple of Christ. Renovated by Jim Wilder

So now you see the seriousness of accepting a form of Christianity that does not involve being a disciple. If a disciple is defined as one who is “learning from Jesus how to lead my life as He would lead my life if He were I,” we have to ask ourselves Is that me? Then we have to answer honestly in terms of what is happening in our life. And then we have to ask Have I chosen that? And if I have chosen it, what am I doing to carry through with it?

All of those questions made me sit back and question my life, my church life, my path forward with the Lord. Won’t you take a moment to examen yourself in light of what Jim Wilder and Dallas Willard teach? I think these questions are of utmost importance for us as we attempt to follow Jesus through this life.

One question they pose reminds me of Ignatian spirituality. “If a disciple is learning from Jesus how to live, what am I learning from Him now? What have I learned from Him in the past? How does that whole progression look? As a disciple, my consciously chosen aim is to learn the life of Jesus, and I am constantly arranging and rearranging my affairs to realize this goal.”

I am an Associate at the Convent of the Transfiguration. The teachings about transformation remind me that Jesus calls me to also be transfigured – my old self for the New Creation He wants to create in me.

These two authors Jim Wilder and Tyler Staton are impacting my thoughts, words and deeds with Gospel truths. May they bring you closer to discipleship, too.

Two Books

I have been reading Jim Wilder’s book “Renovated: God, Dallas Willard and the Church That Transforms” and Tyler Staton’s book, “Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools.” Both have me taking notes and being challenged in my walk.

Jim Wilder studied under Dallas Willard. Most of the things I have noted from the book are Dallas’s words. It is such a meaty book that I read it in small portions at a time. I am about 45% finished with it. If I am quoting Jim instead of Dallas please forgive me.

Here are some quotes that have had me thinking.

“Christian formation is the process of taking on the character of Christ. That means the person begins to think with – to have beliefs and images and ways of interpreting things that are characteristic of – Christ. This process begins at what we call “the birth from above” – the impartation or implantation of a new life in the person. The record of history and Scripture testify that salvation is best thought of as having a new kind of life.” from Renovated

There is debate within the church as to when exactly this process occurs. Tyler Staton notes that at some point we will notice the change within ourselves. More importantly for me recently, I must ask myself if I am truly interpreting things I ponder within me through the new life Christ has given to me.

Often I fail at this and need to confess and begin again. (Love that booklet from the Benedictines that is entitled, “Always we Begin Again.“)

The activity of the new kind of life that we mean by “birth from above” is reliance upon Christ and God for everything – the restoration of the relationship to God intended for us in the first place and that alone enables us to fulfill our nature. To “seek first the Kingdom of God and His kind of righteousness” is the natural response to the new life that has come to you. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 12:3, “If you believe that Jesus is Lord, that is because of the Spirit that has moved in you.” You actually believe that. from Renovated

Taking on the character of Christ. I love the recent lyric from Abandoned by Benjamin William Hastings that says, “My one life’s endeavor, to match Your surrender, to mirror not my will but Yours.” Father, help me to yield to this goal!

Does your home church foster this sort of growth? ‘Restoration of the relationship to God intended for us in the first place’?

Pursuing this type of life, “the restoration of the relationship to God intended for us in the first place” requires my constant awareness of my motives and purposes. Tyler notes that sin is agreed upon as a major problem in the world by every ‘historical era, cultures and philosophies.’

Believing in the existence of God has never really been the hang-up for us humans. Across cultures and eras, the existence of something bigger than us has always been the popular opinion. Even today, in a post-Enlightenment, highly skeptical society bent on deconstruction, the majority of people believe in some kind of deity who is running the show. from Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools

The hang-up is, and has always been, trusting the God we believe exists. …Adam and Eve trusted themselves, not the God they believed in. And that is what the Bible calls sin – good desire channeled through the wrong means. Sin is shorthand for any attempt to meet our deep needs by our own resources. from Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools

If I am to truly live from the new life that has been given to me, I must lay aside my mistaken attempts to meet my own needs and trust that God will take care of me. In every way. In every single day.

As you read this Bob and I are traveling to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. This looks like a daunting trip to us! We planned it without realizing at first that we will be in a different motel every single night. There is one place where we stay 2 nights, but overall it means moving suitcases, etc. back and forth to the car daily for a full week. We have not done this since we began aging so dramatically! Oh my! What have we gotten ourselves into? And it is all our own doing. We are so accustomed to going on vacation, unpacking the first day and making small car trips from that location. I will spend a few hours trying to figure out how to pack differently for myself so there is not all this perpetual suitcase hauling. (I just realized I like the instrumental music playing as I write. The song is entitled Fossils. How appropriate! LOL)

So Father God, I turn over our travel needs to You. Show us how to see all these Michigan sights without completely wearing ourselves out. If there is any way possible help us to witness the northern lights with our own eyes at Copper Harbor! Show us how to find an agate on the beach. Help us to live the imparted new life Christ has given us as we meet new people, with different accents, different lifestyles and foods. Most of all, help us to not only glorify Your name but to look to You in all things. We seek Your Kingdom and Your righteousness in Ohio and in Michigan.

Tyler Staton

I ordered a book by Tyler Staton entitled Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools. At the time it seemed a good idea. I put it in my Christian Book Distributors cart and then forgot it for a while. Recently I had cause to place an order with CBD. I included this book in my order.

This morning when I started reading it I was struck almost immediately why I needed this, yet another tome about prayer.

Most of us get about knee-deep in the Christian life, discover that the water feels fine, and stop there. We never swim in the depths of the divine intimacy Jesus won for us. This book is an invitation to swim. Page 5 Introduction

Yes, he captured my attention with those few sentences. As a long time prayer person and intercessor there is often a need to boost my enthusiasm for the prayer effort. Not that talking with my Father is always an effort, but I get stymied at times. I likely will be quoting this author for a while.

As the man went eastward with a measuring line in his hand, he measured off a thousand cubits and then led me through water that was ankle-deep. He measured off another thousand cubits and led me through water that was knee-deep. He measured off another thousand and led me through water that was up to the waist. He measured off another thousand, but now it was a river that I could not cross, because the water had risen and was deep enough to swim in—a river that no one could cross. Ezekiel 47:3-5 NIV

How deep are you willing to go with God? Bob will be traveling to California soon and I will have the house alone with Lucky dog. I am hoping this will be a time of deeper prayer for me! Sort of a retreat at my home address. That can be difficult to pull off, but I am ready for it!

Most of you know how much I like the music of Christy Nockels. Her husband is often her collaborator. She asked him to write an instrumental album with music she could have playing while she was writing. This is one selection from his creation. And creative he certainly is!

Please use this music to help you pause and draw closer to the Living God as you are called to go deeper with the Mighty Trinity. You might want to use the entire album for your prayer time?

No matter

About a week ago I awoke from an afternoon nap with portions of this song resounding in my head. It took me a while, but with the help of the internet I located the song. I have the CD from years ago and it had been a very long time since I heard it. I just love how the Holy Spirit can bring things back to our remembrance! I was greatly comforted by the lyrics.

Here is another recording of the same song from the Everglades correctional institution in Miami, FL. It has come familiar Christian refrains at the end.

Last week I went to a meeting. My friend who is 87 has recently had chemo and radiation. She just learned the cancer is not gone. Awaiting word from doctor if there is a medication she can take to mitigate the spread. There is a surgery, but doctor is afraid she would not survive that.

Then met a friend for lunch. Towards the end of our lunch she told me her husband is suffering again from the mental illness that plagued him earlier in life. He spent one week in a hospital and then checked himself out against doctors wishes. He has not adapted well to life at home. She cannot sleep as he roams the house all hours of the night.

Same day I saw a familiar face at the grocery. As we passed a second time I stopped and said I know I should know you but cannot think of your name. She said, “Me too!” We reminded each other of our names. She had recently suffered from breast cancer. Finished her treatments and was fine. Then last Easter she began vomiting and could not stop. At the hospital they did a CT Scan and found a mass on her pancreas. When I saw her at the store she was wearing a chemo head cover. My heart just sank. Her husband had a terrible mouth and tongue cancer a few years ago. He has recovered, but oh, now this!

Then my 81 year old cousin called to let me know she is at her daughter’s house recovering from a broken hip. At least a neighbor found her quickly and the neighbors are all taking care of her house and her mail while she is at the daughter’s house in another town.

I have told you about my illnesses and medical challenges. I also know we each have our own brokenness and sufferings. I learned years ago it is not good to compare my pain to someone else’s. We cannot know what goes on in another persons body and mind. It is not good to diminish our own problems by looking at other people and telling ourselves, “It’s not that bad,” when in fact for you personally, things can be bad.

Baby Francesca, you might remember, was born with a heart defect. I asked you to pray for her almost a year ago. She was in the hospital for almost a full year before a heart transplant came through. She had a very long surgery, but I am happy to report she is home now and doing well!

My friend’s husband was eventually readmitted to the hospital. Pray he cooperates with his treatment.

So what about your pain, my pain? Our personal pain and suffering is valid because it is ours. My pain does not compare to yours because only you can know what your pain does to you. We must learn to respect the suffering of others and also respect ourselves and what we suffer.

The revisionary surgery the doc wants to do on my toe sounds awful and painful, but the recovery of no weight bearing for 8 weeks is just as awful as the procedure itself. We do not struggle with cancer though I know a little bit about the pain of living with mental illness, but that is not in my marriage or my husband. I have never had a child with a life threatening heart condition. I can barely comprehend the joy of having that child healed, restored and released to my home. So far, Bob and I have not had to face cancer or its treatment in our later years of life. A hip fracture might be in my future or my husband’s, but not so far. Does that diminish what I might have to face?

Patience and empathy with one another is necessary. Kindness and offering help to others is what the Gospel calls us to do. How can you be Jesus with feet and hands to those around you who suffer?

We are also taught to be gentle with ourselves. If I have no grace for my own suffering then how authentic will my compassion be for others? Scripture says to “Love your neighbor AS yourself.” (Leviticus 19:18, Matthew 19:19, 22:39, Mark, Luke, Romans, Galatians and James) James calls it the royal law. James 2:8 NIV

Most merciful God,
we confess that we have sinned against you
in thought, word, and deed,
by what we have done,
and by what we have left undone.
We have not loved you with our whole heart;
we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves.

Here I add {We have not loved ourselves as You want us to.}


We are truly sorry and we humbly repent.
For the sake of your Son Jesus Christ,
have mercy on us and forgive us;
that we may delight in your will,
and walk in your ways,
to the glory of your Name. Amen.
BCP Post Communion Prayer

God made you and He loves you;therefore who are you to not love and cherish yourself. I am not talking about selfishness here. I am stressing self-care.

How are you at this skill? I encourage you to pray for those around you who are suffering. I also challenge you to touch the deep places of your soul to make certain you are doing your best to recognize your own needs. If you need prayer ask for it. Spend time with the Lord of your heart to learn about areas you may have neglected. Make certain you are transparent with yourself and with God. He loves you dearly, and expects no less from you towards yourself and your various struggles.

Trust Him to lead you in all paths of righteousness.

Front Yard Tree continued

Yesterday I pulled down a branch on our oak tree to get a better look at the acorn growing on a higher branch. Indeed, it is a burr oak acorn! So pleased. The story continues:

LESSONS FROM THE BUR OAK ACORN © 2002 Molly Lin Dutina

One little acorn speaking to me so loudly about “the site of your tent, the curtains of your habitation, stretched out; do not hold back; lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes.” This acorn calls to you also.  Where are you holding back in your life?  Who are you hiding your affection from?  Those in your immediate family need and want to hear from you.  Though you might never have been one to speak in the past, they need to know your heart.  They are craving a word from you, an insight into your feelings, and how your actions relate to your emotions.  They want to know you, beyond the superficial shell that you present.  They are hungry to truly know and understand your deepest self. Those whom God has placed in your daily life are there for a purpose also.  Examine the site of your tent.  Is there a way you can stretch out the curtain and place of your habitation?  Ask the Father for the courage to move forward.  Pray He will show you how to lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes.  Joyce Meier says you are to “deposit yourself with God and let God use you to bless others.”

Isaiah 54 goes on in verses 4 and 5 to say:

Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; do not be discouraged, for you will not suffer disgrace; for you will forget the shame of your youth, and the disgrace of your widowhood you will remember no more. For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth He is called.

Usually the greatest fear in becoming new is that people won’t like us.  “People pleasing” quashes the move of God more often than the devil ever attempted. Here the Word assures us that if we will try, God will come alongside and help us to do what we could not do in our own strength. We “will NOT BE ASHAMED.”  Powerful promise there; but first, we have to try.

Can we truly begin to comprehend the magnitude of “your Maker is your Husband?”  That is an intimacy few of us reach in this lifetime, and here it is offered in the Old Testament.  Now through the New Covenant we have the indwelling Holy Spirit to make this promise a reality.   The hard little cap of humanity can hold back the power of God that rests within each true believer.  When we choose to put aside the cap, like the one on the Bur Acorn, our lives can feed the hungry multitudes. Remember acorns used to be valuable to people as a food source. 

The Internet yielded information on how to make them palatable today. “Native Americans made acorns much more palatable by first blanching the oak nuts (in boiling water) with wood ashes to remove a bitter taste associated with tannins.”  The method involves boiling in water with ashes to leach away the tannins and make the nut meal sweeter.

You cannot receive what your Husband has for you as long as you are clutching your unfulfilled dreams in both hands.  Take the ashes of your unfulfilled dreams and offer them to God. 

your unfulfilled dreams
Living Water

Open your hands to Him.  As Christians, we also need to be cleansed with water. Water is mentioned 79 times in 70 verses in the New Testament. Jesus promised that He would give us living water. Another set of instructions for the acorns says they need to be boiled or roasted or both to make them palatable. We are told in Scripture that we may have to go through fire. I have always thought that perhaps like Reynolds Wrap, we go through fire so that we are ‘oven tempered for flexible strength.’ Hebrews 12: 28-29 says

Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our “God is a consuming fire.”

To use acorns as food we are to “collect the acorns in the fall, when ripe. Remove shells and caps. The shells will come off easier if you first slit with a sharp knife.” OUCH! That sounds an awful lot like death of the seed. Crucifixion. To offer myself according to Romans 12:1-2:

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

It seems that nothing will do short of that sharp knife and taking off that shell. So that Bur Acorn led me to ponder. Then to pray. To look up Scripture and pray some more. To begin to risk moving out of where I was comfortable and risk giving parts of my life to others. I have not been ashamed! I am getting to know my Maker a little better as my Husband. In addition, my earthly husband concurs that this is a good thing.

The preparation directions continue saying that “after boiling you may toast the acorns in a 350 degree oven for another hour.  They can then be eaten as they are or ground into a flour.” Some people seem to get a harder Christian walk than others do. Looking at the comparative value of acorns as nuts to be eaten or acorns as ground into flour, I can see momentarily the sense in that harder walk.  Flour can be used for many more products than nuts can.  Of course, the Father will produce breads, cakes, pies, gravy thickeners, coatings for all sorts of products, an endless variety of things with flour.  Nuts though have a limited use. Be encouraged if your walk is one where the grinding into flour seems to be the norm. Your flour will go further to spread the kingdom than the acorn that never let its shell be opened.  Your flour will go further than the roasted nut that was simply eaten as a snack food. God knows the plans He has for you, as stated in Jeremiah 29:11-14a

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to You.
You will seek me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart.
I will be found by you," declares the LORD."

Now I am amused by my pronunciation of the American Indian name… u’tahu can…. perhaps it is something like “You Twah you can.” You saw you can do this.  You saw it through months of prayer and preparation through the Scriptures.  You saw it through the Holy Spirit opening your eyes to the Father’s desire. Open your heart in love to those around you. Move beyond the usual limited communications and surface talk.  Get really intimate with God and then with others.  Let the nourishment that your life can be help others to grow into something terrific for the Kingdom.  You saw you can through this simple illustration. Now will you?

Next time you see an acorn, ponder how the cap is fitting that covers your acorn life and your rich innermost being.  Are you ready to strip away the cap and expose and expand that life for the Lord to use? The old saying is still true, “Mighty oaks from little acorns grow.”

Our Front Yard Tree

When the tree first arrived to our property I made a point of picking off the galls that were attached to the leaves. We have fed this tree and watered it. The soil here is difficult for anything to grow in. The builders did not help by mixing in huge rocks! In spite of the odds the tree is beginning to thrive! I was thrilled when I realized (once again) that this is a Burr Oak tree.

In 2002, long before we lived here, I wrote a piece about the inspiration I gained from a Bur Oak acorn. I will post it over 2 days, giving you time to ponder the message and trying not to bore you with a LONG read!

LESSONS FROM THE BUR OAK ACORN © 2002 Molly Lin Dutina

Often while I am walking prayerfully, my attention will be drawn to something around me.  I will pick up the object and continue on my prayer walk. So it was during the mild February of 2002 while I was on retreat and came across a Bur Oak acorn.  As I held it in my hand, continuing my walk and praying, I knew it would unfold its mysteries to me in the days or months to come.  As I left the retreat grounds, I placed the acorn on the console of my car.  For many months it rode right next to me with this scripture ringing out from it’s hard, pointy cover:

“Enlarge the site of your tent and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out; do not hold back; lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes.” Isaiah 54:2 NRSV  

If you are not familiar with the Bur Oak (also at times spelled Burr oak) here is a short history taken from various Internet resources.  The tree is tall, fairly slow growing, long-lived, and highly desirable for windbreaks, shelterbelts, and ornamental use. It has an impressive crown with a massive trunk and stout branches. The bur oak adapts to various soils where other oaks fail. The tree is tolerant of urban conditions.  The bur will bear acorns in the nursery in ten years. It has strong wood and is good for timber.

The acorn itself is classified as a nut, because of its bony pericarp, and is actually the fruit of the oak tree. Particular to the genus Quercus, the stem broadens to the cupule or cap that holds the oak seed and fruit in place. The burr oak, so named because of its characteristic large seeds or acorns, was known as u’tahu can in the Native American tongue of the Lakota people, meaning acorn stem tree. More than half of the one-inch acorn is enclosed in a fringed, spiny cupule. Native Americans used them as an important dietary item with great storage capability and mobility.  Wildlife, including turkeys, blue jays, squirrels, and deer also utilize acorns as a food source that is rich in carbohydrates and fats.

Today we like Bur Oaks for their adaptability to urban conditions. Indians and animals used them for food.  What did God want me to see?  I see an acorn with an almost impenetrable cover.  Hard and dried and in it’s own way thorny.  After months of looking at this Bur acorn, I began to realize that this acorn could be me.  I could have my fruit “nearly completely covered by a rough, frilled cap.”  Though I may ripen “in early to mid-autumn” the fruit would be unpalatable and inaccessible unless I let others have access to the fruit God has given to me.

There are at least two ways we can view the acorn: as a nut/fruit to eat or as a seed to plant.  Animals unwittingly spread the Bur oak trees by burying stashes of the nuts and then forgetting where they put them. These nut-seeds may germinate into new oak trees. Therefore, I have choices here!  I can remain one tough acorn, almost completely covered with a hard facade, or I can risk opening and revealing what is within.  Paul made the same challenge to the Corinthians.

We have spoken frankly to you Corinthians; our heart is wide open to you.There is no restriction in our affections, but only in yours. In return–I speak as to children–open wide your hearts also.  2 Corinthians 6:11-13 NRSV

Moreover, the Living Bible makes it a bit clearer:

Oh, my dear Corinthian friends! I have told you all my feelings; I love you with all my heart.   Any coldness still between us is not because of any lack of love on my part, but because your love is too small and does not reach out to me and draw me in.   I am talking to you now as if you truly were my very own children. Open your hearts to us! Return our love!  2 COR 6:11-13

My choice to open or remain closed to my Christian brothers and sisters around me is always my choice: daily, weekly, monthly.

The right choice was strongly recommended by our Lord in John 12. He is speaking here about a grain of wheat.  An acorn, as the seed is not a far stretch. Thinking of the nut-seed as buried in the ground read John 12.

“I am telling you the truth: If one grain of wheat does not fall into the ground and die, it will always be just one grain of wheat, but if the grain dies, it will produce a large cluster.”  And in Simple English  “Very truly, I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Those who love their life lose it, and those who hate their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. “ John 12:24-25 NRSV

“Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain. He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” John 12:24  New King James

It seems, through comparison of these three translations, that if I am to open to those around me I must fall into the ground, die to being just a nut seed, and live to becoming a tree plant.  Truly a transfiguration! I may choose to remain just an acorn – alone – yet still an acorn.  Alternatively, I may choose to move on to the next phase of living that God had in mind when He blew life into my being. Falling into the ground and dying will mean willingly removing my outer impenetrable cover, stripping away my surface persona to become the best that is within me. Hard and dried and in its own way thorny, the familiarity of the husk has become almost more desirable than the risk of the unknown I will face as a growing plant.  The Gardener calls me on. (John 15:1)

Do we find this so surprising, that Jesus would ask us to die to our familiar ways and become something new with His help and guidance?  Wasn’t He asked to die on our behalf and take on a new life form by our heavenly Father?  Constantly, the Father left the task before Jesus as a choice.  Jesus chose to become the firstborn from the dead. (Colossians 1:18)  He leads the way for us. 

Are you willing to yield yourself in surrender to His plans? Will you open wide your heart to His calling and the tasks God sets before you?

More tomorrow.

Update about Me

I made it to all 3 doctor appointments and the GOOD news is, with hard work I have brought my A1C glucose reading down from 7.2 to 6.5. Whew! More points to go if I want to get off some of the diabetic medications.

Hard work and Continuous Glucose Monitor PAYOFF!

Now for the other news. August 19 I see the Pain Specialist for the radio frequency ablation of nerve in my hip. They will administer sedation but I will need to have feeling so doctor can tell if the needle is in the right place. Ugh. I am not looking forward to this. You can see details about how they do it on YouTube, which I chose not to watch. Just enter “Radio Frequency Ablation” and various videos will pop up. The one I did listen to is just information from a Penn State nurse https://youtu.be/zvH1oNpaHHY?si=YP90KoHFXY4yBn9p

Then for more bad news. To correct my toe with the loose screws the only option is surgery. The procedure would be more complicated this time than it was 5 years ago. He would have to take out all the hardware as the bone has calcified over most of it.

For right now I will get new orthotics on August 26. With the new orthotics I will try walking in an enclosed shoe after the many blister sites heal. They will then decide if I need new shoes. If there is no improvement, the doctor might want to do surgery sooner rather than later. For now, I have time to decide when. Yes, it would require 8 weeks on knee roller again, no weight bearing. When he told me I thought I might puke. The last surgery, after 6 weeks, I was ready to hurt the surgeon. I am 5 years older now and not at all eager to take this on.

I believe eventually the plate and screws that are in there will have to be removed. Next time for repair he would use 2 plates and more screws. He would also shorten the tendon in toe next to great toe. I asked how he would do that. Did not like that answer either. He would snip the tendon. WHAT?!?!?

I keep wondering, “What if I just don’t have it done?”

Stephanie Gretzinger’s song keeps running through my head.