Category: Yield

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Illness and Health, Memories, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Yield

Acceptance and Approval

What is the difference between acceptance and approval?

Psychology Today wrote at https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-second-noble-truth/201506/acceptance-it-isnt-what-you-think:

There is no better explanation {of acceptance} than Jon Kabat-Zinn’s in “Coming to Our Senses: Healing Ourselves and the World Through Mindfulness”:

“Acceptance doesn’t, by any stretch of the imagination, mean passive resignation. Quite the opposite. It takes a huge amount of fortitude and motivation to accept what is — especially when you don’t like it — and then work wisely and effectively as best you possibly can with the circumstances you find yourself in and with the resources at your disposal, both inner and outer, to mitigate, heal, redirect, and change what can be changed.” (p.407)

In other words, desiring the world to be something it is not at the moment, is stopped, and ruminating thoughts about how things “should be” are put aside. Then, you can change what can be changed.

Struggling with this mental illness that has reared its ugly head again, I find myself nose to nose with acceptance. Yes, I have been here before, but this episode has been the worst ever. I have put aside rudeness and personal insults for years. This month hit me hard. Perhaps it is all the times the same nonsense has occurred? Scar tissue is weaker than normal tissue. Maybe as I approach age 74 I have just had enough.

Years ago I learned that accepting something does not mean I approve of the thing.

Acceptance ≠ Approval

Some time, some place I bought this card and placed it inside the kitchen cabinet door.

Acceptance doesn’t mean giving in or giving up. It means giving yourself completely to God’s plan for your life, trusting that He always wants what’s best for you, and will help you meet every challenge with courage. For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

Acceptance ≠ Approval

So I am trying to do good self-care. I am trying to detach with love. Praying for courage to go forward. Focus upon my life and my needs helps this process. It seems no coincidence that the retreat at Transfiguration coincided with this crisis of mental illness arising again. It helped to talk with another woman who lives on the grounds and has her own experience with mental illness in someone she is close to emotionally. I felt something in me shift when she described her person as “His brain is broken.”

Mindfulness means bringing your brain and emotions to the current moment. Not wishing for something else. We can actually increase our suffering by clinging to what we wish instead of what actually IS.

Another website entitled Break Free from Toxic Relationships pointed out:

Emotional detachment can be a challenging but necessary process for your personal growth and well-being. It’s an important step towards untangling yourself from toxic relationships that rob you of joy and ruin your mental health.

While challenging, emotionally detaching paves the way to healing and fulfilling relationships and is worth the effort. If you have trouble disengaging from a toxic individual, seek professional help.

≠

My pockets, my wallet, by house are now scattered with the DOES NOT EQUAL symbol. ≠

No, I do not approve of what is happening. However, I must accept it all the same. I will with God’s help. “Accept the things I cannot change.”

Posted on in Faith, Journal, Obedience, Prayer, Trust, Yield

Find Words for This Sentiment

So here is me being transparent and vulnerable.

24-10-1 Find Words for This Sentiment ©Molly Lin Dutina
How do I find the words?
I am leaning into this desire to please You
though having difficulty understanding how

How do I get these poems and stories
OUT THERE where others can use them
should I simply publish them at Office Max 
fold, staple, hand them out?
Like the LET project?
print and drop from an airplane
yeah that one would work!
Except for those outside the drop zone
What about those You desire to get them
organize and get them out 
through Kindle publishing
Is it really necessary?
Can they just stay in the notebooks
and online until I am dead?

I am not looking to earn a bunch of money
I just keep getting this nudge
There is a new dog treat called Nudges
sorry, distraction there
I know You are not calling me to eat more!
Just better

Trying to listen
watched YouTube videos about self-publishing
they are mostly just annoying

I have a retreat coming up at Transfiguration
lead by the director of 
Forward Day by Day publishing. 
My priest says to pursue that.
His wife, also a priest, read my stuff
She says pursue that.
Lord, as I pursue that
I trust You to go before me
Make a way where my faith
falters and wonders 
if that is truly the next step.

Meanwhile, 
I will write the blog and 
share as much as I can with others.

ISA 55:11  so is My word that goes out from My mouth:
    It will not return to Me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
    and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

God will accomplish His goals through me as He desires. I will do everything in power to yield to His will and His ways.

Posted on in Book quotes, Faith, Illness and Health, Listen, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Thanks, Trust, Yield

Reminded

I am often prepared for how to pray while reading Christian novels. A recent one had this simple prayer line.

The author of the Mountain Series wrote, “Lord, protect her. Do what I can’t.”

I adapt the prayer saying, “Lord, protect them. Do what I can’t.”

I took a walk after writing yesterday’s entry. That is when I remembered the novel and the line I copied. The Mountain Series by Misty M. Beller is full of such simple prayers. I read these, copy and paste them in my electronic notes knowing I will need them later. She seems to write this sort of prayer every time her character realizes they have moved away from trusting God and then the character returns with a simple declaration of faith.

So Monday morning, walking and trying to clear my brain for another blog entry, I prayed the above prayer and am writing it to each of you. “Lord, protect. Do what I cannot.” Brother Lawrence tells us that useless thoughts spoil everything and much mischief starts there…exact quote from the book of his letters is next.

“That useless thoughts spoil all: that the mischief began there; but that we ought to reject them, as soon as we perceived their impertinence to the matter in hand, or our salvation; and return to our communion with GOD.”

Words that bring life and repel darkness. Certainly easy to read and type. SO much harder to put into practice. Mental illness is so painful for the family members to watch. We get dragged into it when words or texts are flying with untrue accusations, most of which will never receive an apology. What does one do with those wounds?

I cannot tell you what years and years of this accomplishes. At the end of that first day this is how I felt.

Hollow watermelon with empty rind

Empty, hollow, almost unable to form a coherent sentence. Wondering what positive impact my life has ever made in this person and these situations.

I was reminded that the last response I made to a hurtful text was, “You are hurting all the ones who love you the most.” The response seemed to be hugely sarcastic, “Thanks for the advice.” Then crickets.

Perhaps there was an impact from my words. Maybe a glimmer of light broke through from the Lord’s hand? God knows. I learned later that shortly thereafter, things began to turn around for the better.

I went to sleep asking the Lord to help me rest and not obsess over all that had been said and done not only that day, but over the weeks, over the years leading up to this event.

I was truly amazed when I awoke the next morning and realized I had slept all the way through the night.

I am reminded as I write this that my mother once made pickled watermelon rinds.

Tasty, but they seemed WAY too sweet to me!

So perhaps that is my guidance. Take the words and the hurt and the anguish. Clean down to the rind. Cook it is the forgiveness of Christ adding the sweetness of His Presence. Serve it up as an offering on his banqueting table?

Posted on in Challenge, Faith, Listen, Poetry, Prayer, Trust, Yield

Early Monday Morning

24-10-7 Earliest Hour of Morning©Molly Lin Dutina

When all color is still black and white
Crows of accusation sound loudest
Seeming to echo my inner life

Then Light of God, Dawn of the Savior arrives
The Brightness of His glory reveals
Accusation is not reality

Crow caws become similar to Blue Jay warnings
Half-light is not truth
Sovereign from on high declares

Reality for what it truly is
Ambiguity clears

Little did I know this verse was to cushion me for what was to come this very morning. Yes, all hell broke loose again in the life of a loved one. That person suffers from mental illness. As often as we try to think it is over and things are well and healed now, wait for it, not mike drop, but boulder crashing down our mountain side. The illness cycles around again and we are each back in the throes of it.


As bewildering and scary as it is for us I know it must be so much more so for the family member. We are helpless to do anything but pray. Again we relinquish the person to Christ. Again ask the Holy Spirit to intervene. Once more asking the Father to break through the darkness.


As one song song lyric set declares, “I’m falling on my knees, offering all of me,”

https://www.youtube.com/embed/erQku5-O0Y0?si=tTTWiam8A7HGfiyF

We wait. We pray. We are cautious for our own well-being. We determine what we will or will not do this time around when the dust settles. We anguish over the ground lost. We cry out to the One who loves each of us best.

So hard not to accuse ourselves that we might have seen the signs earlier. At the same time, realizing there was nothing we could have done to avert the crashing. Feeling helpless is an apt description. I pray and wait . I hope and trust. I despair and repent of that. This is out of my hands.

It has always been out of my hands. When someone is out of their “right” mind I have little or not influence. I enlist prayer warriors and I try as best I can to just let go and get my focus back on Christ our Savior. Oh God, help us we pray.






Posted on in Challenge, Faith, Just do it, Listen, Memories, Music, Obedience, Praise, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Trust, Yield

Have You Danced With God?

When I was first diagnosed with fibromyalgia I came across this poem:

There is no box made by God nor us but that the sides can be flattened out and the top blown off to make a dance floor on which to celebrate life. Kenneth Caraway

The poem encouraged me that even though I could barely walk at times, I could still dance with my beloved Lord and celebrate life with Him.

At what point did you give yourself to intimacy and trust with the Lord? I clearly remember (and am regularly reminded) that my moment in adult life was at a church conference. I have no idea now who the speakers were or who did the music. I do recall it was a Vineyard conference held in a hotel. There I had an intense and intimate moment with the Lord Jesus that changed me forever.

I was leaned against a door frame during a break between sessions when I remember clearly hearing the Lord say to me, “Come!” in the same commanding voice that Yul Brenner used in the King and I. No, I was not thinking about that movie or the song, but that is what I heard. I do not mean to imply that by God is as moody as the King in the movie. Just think of this as an invitation to intimacy with the Risen Christ.

Then it seemed as if I was in the arms of Jesus and dancing around the room. Unseen by others, to music unheard by others, yet just as real as the ballroom we were meeting in. Isn’t that just like our relationship with the Living God? Unseen by others and unheard by others yet real and vibrant and alive in every aspect of the word?

There is a movie clip and the lyrics for “Shall We Dance” from Rodgers and Hammerstein. (Evidently this clip has 7 different versions. I imagine you would find once is enough, though it is interesting to see how the different directors and actors play it out!)

Anna:
We’ve just been introduced,
I do not know you well;
But when the music started,
Something drew me to your side.

So many men and girls
Are in each other’s arms—
It made me think we might be
Similarly occupied.

Shall we dance?
On a bright cloud of music
Shall we fly?

Shall we dance?
Shall we then say good night
And mean goodbye?

Or perchance
When the last little star
Has left the sky,

Shall we still be together
With our arms around each other
And shall you be my new romance?

On the clear understanding
That this kind of thing can happen,
Shall we dance?
Shall we dance?
Shall we dance?

Shall we dance?

Have you put God in a box? Are you willing to blow off the top, flatten the sides and make a dance floor to meet your God upon? Will you give yourself to this sort of intimacy? How do you respond when the Lord says, “Come!” to you? I pray you will arise and do whatever He asks!

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Nature, Obedience, Praise, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Worship, Yield

Wonder or Rejoice

There is a perspective lesson about the rose and the thorn. “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”

There is a classroom exercise that encourages individuals to analyze their experiences by focusing on the positive aspects (rose), the negative aspects (thorn), and the potential for growth (bud).

There is likely a situation (or more than one ) where you can apply this perspective in your life. It can easily become a habit to focus on the negative, on the things that are happening that are not what we want or wish for. What if we apply the cross and bring into the foreground the positive aspects of what we are dealing with. A focus on gratitude helps in this respect. Negativity and complaining is easy because it has a focus upon our lack of strength and power. If we apply the resurrected power of Christ, the simple negative dash – become a cross + the symbol for light over darkness, life over death + Christ in us, the hope of glory+ Not I, but Christ in me+

I can wonder why my back hurts so badly in the evening, or I can rejoice that my back does not hurt as badly in the morning!

Just this morning I came across a church sign that said something to the effect”Life not a bed of roses? Remember Who bore the crown of thorns!”

When I was first diagnosed with fibromyalgia I came across a book by Amy Carmichael entitled Rose from Brier. It was truly helpful to me. That is where I was first introduced to the idea of the rose, the thorn, etc. This summary by Jasmin Howell is lovely. Here is the link to her blog https://setapart.org/rose-brier/ “After she sustained a serious injury in the later part of her life, Amy Carmichael, a missionary to India, wrote a short volume of letters, which were published as a book called Rose From Brier. These letters—full of poetry, scripture, personal reflection, and encouraging wisdom — were her way of processing her debilitating injury, an injury that stayed with her until she passed away. The letters were written as an encouragement from one who was ill to others facing similar trials, or as Amy herself put it, “From thy brier shall blow a rose for others.”

Rose from Brier

So what has inspired you? How can you take this lesson from the rose and apply it to your life? Are there things that just seem like thorn bushes and more thorn bushes? Scripture points out that a fire from thorns burns quickly and is insubstantial for cooking with a steady heat.

I have not admired the Knock Out brand of roses. Yes, they bloom almost continuously but the ones I grew had no lovely fragrance and wicked huge thorns. We tore them out and never bought those again!

I moved this rose twice from house to house. Originally, I bought it in a cellophane wrapped bundle on the cheap one spring. This year it did not flourish. It was such a fragrant rose that I used to dry the petals to make beads with. Gave those saved petals away when we downsized. Yes, it had thorns, but nothing brutal.

The memory of that rose holds me near to the memory that Christ is with me and died for me. Christ lives in me and wants to be a pleasing fragrance to others. Yes, my life and that rose both carry thorns, but the rose is borne upon a thorn bush. Jesus, my rose, is the One who rules and reigns.

The aforementioned book is still available from Amazon for about $8.

What has inspired you? Discard the thorns and cling to that.

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Listen, Praise, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Thanks, Yield

Eternal Life as a Way of Living

This?

NO SILLY! Not even close!!!

I was sharing with you from the book Renovated: God, Dallas Willard and Jim Wilder. I want to get back to the idea of living as if eternal life begins now, which I believe is true.

See, eternal life is not something that you get after you are dead. Eternal life is a way of living – now, even as we are alive. Sometimes I think it would help us if instead of talking about eternal life, we talked about eternal living. Eternal living is a matter of living a life so intertwined with the life of God Himself that your life is a part of God’s life. Consider John 17:.3

 And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.John 17:3 NKJV

The knowing Jesus here is not cognitive (knowing what the answers are). Knowing, biblically and in life generally, is a matter of interactive relationship.

We are to know Jesus as we live in the here and now. Know Him through an interactive relationship. How do you do that?

Let me give you an example from my own life this very morning. Bob had a missed call at 5:38 AM. Then when he reached out he was sent a text to please call him. There was a situation someone did not have any experience handling. We both prayed.

I went to the Lord with any unconfessed situations on my part in that particular relationship. I used the book Praying like Monks, etc. as my guideline for this, pages 114-115. I prayed something like this. “I give You all of this Father. I ask that the power of truth and hope rule and reign over and within this relationship. Holy Spirit help us I pray. We have no idea what is going on once again. Wisdom of the ages, be with us and guide us.” I approached this as currently living in Ohio but also living eternally. Adoration, confession, petition and now I give thanks that we can pray with confidence that the Lord has heard us. Move in this situation I pray Father. Through Your Holy Spirit break through and help those in need.

Jim Wilder continues: “Eternal living is this kind of knowing, an interactive relationship. I am living eternally now. That is why Jesus says, “Those who keep my word will never experience or see death.” Why? Because the life they are living now simply continues. And again, consider John 11 at the tomb of Lazarus when Jesus is talking with Martha about resurrection and so on. 25 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. 26 And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?” It wasn’t death He was talking about – He’s talking about life.

Are you willing to give life this kind of perspective? Are you hungry for His presence, His will and His ways? This has meant I need to adjust my perspective on many things. Remember Jesus said if you hate your life here you will keep it? (John 12:25) For me that has meant giving thanks for situations that I have resented or been ungrateful for previously. Turning things in my heart and mind to His way of seeing and doing. Oh Lord, I have so much more to learn about eternal living!

May the Holy Spirit guide and teach each of us in the ways of heaven. I always declare I need all the help I can get! Help me Spirit to relinquish every situation to You, for You alone are omniscient and omnipotent. Omnipresent God touch and heal us all I pray. Amen.

Posted on in Aging, Faith, Marriage and Memories, Memories, Praise, Prayer, Thanks, Trust, Yield

This is Us!

Yes, I would give myself in marriage to Robert Dutina today, even knowing all I know about our life together thus far! Just a wonderful blessing our marriage has been to me!

Today is our big celebration! Married Fifty-four years! Count ’em 54!

There were folks how placed bets it would never last. We never asked Betty Dutina who those betting people were. All I can say is we have lasted thus far!

Live Oak Park, Berkeley, California, 1970

19,723 days. 648 months. 28,401,840minutes. Any way you look at it we have been married a LONG time, but in my eyes not long enough!!

2017 Grand Canyon
Easter on Siesta Drive after Bob had been so ill
My face ached after smiling so much on our wedding day!

And 54 years later I am still smiling!

Happy Anniversary to us! The church prayed over us as we celebrate: “O God, send Your blessing upon these Your servants, that they may so love, honor, and cherish each other in faithfulness and patience, in wisdom and true godliness, that their home may be a haven of blessing and peace; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.” BCP Page 431

Posted on in Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Just do it, Listen, Obedience, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Trust, Yield

Are You A Disciple of Jesus?

Yes! I have been impacted by these quotes and books. I pray the quotes bring you encouragement as well as food for thought.

The basic idea of being a disciple, in the New Testament, is being with Jesus, learning to be like Him. The disciple {since the resurrection} is someone who is with Jesus, still, learning to be like Him. That’s a status. Disciple is a status; spiritual formation is a process. Renovated by Jim Wilder

Spiritual formation, in the Christian sense, is the process of transformation that occurs to the disciple. Such transformation involves emotional and spiritual maturity. And if we are not disciples, we won’t move forward in that process. You cannot experience spiritual transformation – transformation onto the likeness of Christ – without being a disciple of Christ. Renovated by Jim Wilder

So now you see the seriousness of accepting a form of Christianity that does not involve being a disciple. If a disciple is defined as one who is “learning from Jesus how to lead my life as He would lead my life if He were I,” we have to ask ourselves Is that me? Then we have to answer honestly in terms of what is happening in our life. And then we have to ask Have I chosen that? And if I have chosen it, what am I doing to carry through with it?

All of those questions made me sit back and question my life, my church life, my path forward with the Lord. Won’t you take a moment to examen yourself in light of what Jim Wilder and Dallas Willard teach? I think these questions are of utmost importance for us as we attempt to follow Jesus through this life.

One question they pose reminds me of Ignatian spirituality. “If a disciple is learning from Jesus how to live, what am I learning from Him now? What have I learned from Him in the past? How does that whole progression look? As a disciple, my consciously chosen aim is to learn the life of Jesus, and I am constantly arranging and rearranging my affairs to realize this goal.”

I am an Associate at the Convent of the Transfiguration. The teachings about transformation remind me that Jesus calls me to also be transfigured – my old self for the New Creation He wants to create in me.

These two authors Jim Wilder and Tyler Staton are impacting my thoughts, words and deeds with Gospel truths. May they bring you closer to discipleship, too.

Posted on in Aging, Amazing Creations, Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Just do it, Obedience, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Traveling, Yield

Two Books

I have been reading Jim Wilder’s book “Renovated: God, Dallas Willard and the Church That Transforms” and Tyler Staton’s book, “Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools.” Both have me taking notes and being challenged in my walk.

Jim Wilder studied under Dallas Willard. Most of the things I have noted from the book are Dallas’s words. It is such a meaty book that I read it in small portions at a time. I am about 45% finished with it. If I am quoting Jim instead of Dallas please forgive me.

Here are some quotes that have had me thinking.

“Christian formation is the process of taking on the character of Christ. That means the person begins to think with – to have beliefs and images and ways of interpreting things that are characteristic of – Christ. This process begins at what we call “the birth from above” – the impartation or implantation of a new life in the person. The record of history and Scripture testify that salvation is best thought of as having a new kind of life.” from Renovated

There is debate within the church as to when exactly this process occurs. Tyler Staton notes that at some point we will notice the change within ourselves. More importantly for me recently, I must ask myself if I am truly interpreting things I ponder within me through the new life Christ has given to me.

Often I fail at this and need to confess and begin again. (Love that booklet from the Benedictines that is entitled, “Always we Begin Again.“)

The activity of the new kind of life that we mean by “birth from above” is reliance upon Christ and God for everything – the restoration of the relationship to God intended for us in the first place and that alone enables us to fulfill our nature. To “seek first the Kingdom of God and His kind of righteousness” is the natural response to the new life that has come to you. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 12:3, “If you believe that Jesus is Lord, that is because of the Spirit that has moved in you.” You actually believe that. from Renovated

Taking on the character of Christ. I love the recent lyric from Abandoned by Benjamin William Hastings that says, “My one life’s endeavor, to match Your surrender, to mirror not my will but Yours.” Father, help me to yield to this goal!

Does your home church foster this sort of growth? ‘Restoration of the relationship to God intended for us in the first place’?

Pursuing this type of life, “the restoration of the relationship to God intended for us in the first place” requires my constant awareness of my motives and purposes. Tyler notes that sin is agreed upon as a major problem in the world by every ‘historical era, cultures and philosophies.’

Believing in the existence of God has never really been the hang-up for us humans. Across cultures and eras, the existence of something bigger than us has always been the popular opinion. Even today, in a post-Enlightenment, highly skeptical society bent on deconstruction, the majority of people believe in some kind of deity who is running the show. from Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools

The hang-up is, and has always been, trusting the God we believe exists. …Adam and Eve trusted themselves, not the God they believed in. And that is what the Bible calls sin – good desire channeled through the wrong means. Sin is shorthand for any attempt to meet our deep needs by our own resources. from Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools

If I am to truly live from the new life that has been given to me, I must lay aside my mistaken attempts to meet my own needs and trust that God will take care of me. In every way. In every single day.

As you read this Bob and I are traveling to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. This looks like a daunting trip to us! We planned it without realizing at first that we will be in a different motel every single night. There is one place where we stay 2 nights, but overall it means moving suitcases, etc. back and forth to the car daily for a full week. We have not done this since we began aging so dramatically! Oh my! What have we gotten ourselves into? And it is all our own doing. We are so accustomed to going on vacation, unpacking the first day and making small car trips from that location. I will spend a few hours trying to figure out how to pack differently for myself so there is not all this perpetual suitcase hauling. (I just realized I like the instrumental music playing as I write. The song is entitled Fossils. How appropriate! LOL)

So Father God, I turn over our travel needs to You. Show us how to see all these Michigan sights without completely wearing ourselves out. If there is any way possible help us to witness the northern lights with our own eyes at Copper Harbor! Show us how to find an agate on the beach. Help us to live the imparted new life Christ has given us as we meet new people, with different accents, different lifestyles and foods. Most of all, help us to not only glorify Your name but to look to You in all things. We seek Your Kingdom and Your righteousness in Ohio and in Michigan.