Ben Palpant in his book Letters From the Mountain quotes Rainer Maria Rilke from the book Letters to a Young Poet saying,
Things aren’t all so tangible and sayable as people would usually have us believe; most experiences are unsayable, they happen in a space that no word has ever entered, and more unsayable than all other things are works of art, those mysterious existences, whose life endures beside our own small, transitory life.
In a recent group Bible study at church the term ineffable came up. God is often considered ineffable. The word means too great or intense to be expressed in words, unutterable. Too sacred to be uttered. Indescribable; indefinable.
My life challenge has been for me to try to put into words my relationship with the Almighty. My goal is to speak about and express the unsayable, the things not readily spoken or expressed in regards to my faith. Oh Lord, I can only do this with Your help!
I agree with Rilke that “most experiences are unsayable.” So how does this happen to be my calling? My first response is, “Truly, I do not know!” Maybe something was handed down in the genes from Grandpa Snapp the Preacher or Grandma Snapp the teacher at God’s Bible School? I just know that from an early age I wanted to write about God. I have papers from 1966 and a few years prior to that when I started to want words around my experiences.
“Most experiences are unsayable,” wrote Rilke. My friend, Dana, is about to print my book of poems with over 100 selections. Perhaps someone will discover this God I adore through reading these poems? I pray the efforts to express my love and relationship with God will pull others into the space where words rarely enter. The space of mysterious existence. Christ in me, Christ in us, the hope of Glory.
25 I have become its servant by the commission God gave me to present to you the word of God in its fullness— 26 the mystery that has been kept hidden for ages and generations, but is now disclosed to the Lord’s people. 27 To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. Colossians 1:25-27 NIV
As I was writing the blog entry about Uncertainty I kept hearing this bird call really, really loud! I knew it was familiar but could not see the bird. Finally I needed something out in the garage. We have had our garage window open lately to dry up the floor from rain and snow the car carried in. The screen is in tact to keep the bugs and critters out.
Oh my! There inside the garage window screen were 2 Carolina Wrens, perched together! We had opened the garage earlier and Bob closed it when he went out to run an errand. Poor babies! (Though they are adults, they are tiny.)
Less than 2 minutes of this video will let you hear their song.
I love what I call their sticky-up tails. As the video says they are less than an ounce. When puffed up in winter they appear larger that that!
I was delighted to open the garage door and set them free.
Be careful not to capture your treasures in plain sight! They might get distressed!!
“But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you; 8 or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish in the sea inform you. 9 Which of all these does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this? 10 In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind.” Job 12:7-10
Saw this boiling mud pot in one of the national parks. That is pretty much what my brain is like these days.
I find it amazing that our physical being can cause such major distraction! The things done routinely are forgotten. The people who love us best might not be kept in the loop. The side effects from these drugs to lower blood pressure are kicking me to pieces. Plus it does not seem to be coming down and staying down consistently. It is lower, now to get it to stay there!
I forgot to update my 92 year old friend about my health. That is the same woman who prays for me and my family daily. I felt so bad. I have updated many people via text or email. She does not do either. I totally forgot to call her.
The ice on the front walk built up without me even considering putting a chemical on it to help melt it away. The night temperatures in the teens has kept our shady walks from thawing. Hopefully it will all melt away this week now that we are out of the freezing temperatures!
Usually I gather ideas all week long for what to blog about. Not so this week! Haven’t a clue what direction to take this week. Last week I shared some of my stories from over the years. Maybe continue that theme?
As I fight my way out of the mud I wonder how I will ever set aside time to work just on gathering and editing materials for publishing? I am excited by the prospect, but stymied by this brain fog.
As I listened to music while writing this song by Stephanie Gretzinger came up. I do not remember it, though I placed it on my playlist! Thank You, Lord for the reminder that You are able to keep me.
24 Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy,
25 To the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen. Jude 24-25 KJV
As you know I have been praying and asking which way to go with the things I have written. I finally was able to speak with an editor at Forward Movement and I am very excited! She read several of my blog selections and does not feel my material is memoir. Her idea is for me to compile a booklet with 30 items of similar theme. She will help me edit them. The best way to publish these days is through Amazon Direct Publishing. She is well acquainted with how to submit a manuscript to them and can help me with the layout, cover design, etc. There is a sliding scale for her services. Bob and I estimated correctly. It will cost approximately $50 an hour.
When the diagnosis of aneurysm came to me I got busy compiling a booklet by myself. I told Bob if died suddenly from this thing at least I printed one more booklet! So I have already gathered a few selections about prayer. I will need to organize them a bit differently and find more selections from the notebooks of printouts.
Thunderstorms all night followed by howling winds and 3 inches of snow!
More good news, my childhood friend, Dana, has an interest in publishing my poetry and binding them with a spiral binding. She has heavy weight paper and the binding machine materials. All I have to do is email them to her. I am flabbergasted that suddenly things are moving along.
During my recent sleepless night I also realized I have some stories that could go into a booklet together. So there is plenty to do whatever the medical prognosis will be this week. This project is not to earn me money. The point is to get my writing out there in hopes it will challenge and encourage others to pursue a deeper relationship with God. I will not be able to give it away for free through Amazon, but at least these things will move out of my files and into the hands of others. I have lots of work to do!
Please pray I can find the people who are hungry for this sort of thing. Pray the Righteous One will show me how to feed and challenge them. All of this warms my heart with anticipation as I write on this cold, gloomy, winter stormy day.
For a while my writing may be hit or miss. This morning was taken up with going for blood work, dropping off papers at dermatology office, etc. Needed the blood work for the newest blood pressure medication they put me on. Yep, still trying to get my blood pressure down to where the cardiologist wants it. I accidentally let my subscription for Taltz run out. Of course! That required filling out paperwork, getting dermatologist to fill out her two pages and fax it all to Lilly Cares. Hoping they can get my medication here before I need the next injection ! I do not need psoriasis to flare up with all this other stuff going on.
A few days ago I listed verses that are helping me cope with the medical unknowns and my frame of mind. I never really mentioned how I use those verses. Yes, I read them over regularly, but I apply them at random times. I have never thought of myself as a person who worries a lot, at least, compared to my mother. Her anxiety was something to behold!
This unexpected report that I have some different sorts of heart troubles have set me to worrying, when I allow myself. So how to stop that? Well, first of all I have to become aware of the worrisome thought. When I can catch myself worrying I have begun stopping and asking the thought, “Are you from God?” If the answer is not yes, then I go to Corinthians where we are told to take every thought captive to Christ Jesus.
2 Corinthians 10:5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
When I used to teach this verse in Bible study classes more often than not someone would ask, “Every thought?” I am re-learning that I certainly need to take captive the ones sent to torment me. None of us have any control over the things that will happen to us. So if I fret and get concerned over where all this is going with tests and possible open heart surgery I can work myself up into a high state of anxiety. That helps nothing!
After I send a thought packing to King Jesus, (and it MUST go as a captive of Jesus), I purposefully begin praising Him for being my companion and Savior. Such a Good Shepherd! He makes a way where there seems to be no way, just like His Father.
See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:19 NIV
There are many verses that talk about God making a way where there seems to be no way. God also changes situations that seem to be unchangeable. So we hope. We pray. We cling, knowing that we are never left on our own. Regardless of the outcome we walk with a mighty God!
Next Monday I have the Cardiac MRI, so with fasting, etc. I am unlikely to be writing on that day for posting next week, unless I get it done over the weekend. All prayers appreciated!!
Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy on us.
Just as I talk with you, the readers, prayer is relationship. There are times when you comment on this blog and that thrills me. That is relationship in action. You certainly have relationships with others who have eloquent language skills and yet you relate to them just fine. Prayer is relationship. Or perhaps you have another friend who usually mispronounces, uses slang and colloquial sayings, yet you get along together just fine. Just so, talking with God is prayer. Your communication establishes relationship.
I have been talking with God about what to do with this writing. I think I have a first step understood, and perhaps the second one, also. I am re-reading the blog and pulling out times I mentioned prayer. Then I am going to re-write those selections in preparation for hiring an editor to help me go through them. With God’s help I will eventually publish a book or booklet for the encouragement of others.
I have adapted Basilea Schlink’s prayer when she and her community were praying about expanding their convent:
Lord, I believe I have heard You say I am to go forward with writing about our life together. I believe you will guide and direct me. I believe You will finance this next project. I believe I have Your permission to pursue this. And as each obstacle appears, I seek a reminder for deeper repentance, lest any inward attitude blocks the release of Your blessing.
All praises to our King as He goes before us, behind and within us.
Harry Chapin wrote and sang a song about Mr. Tanner. He was a dry cleaner and he loved to sing. His friends pressured him to go to New York to have an agent for singers who wanted to advance their careers provide him with a concert venue. The lyrics say, “Music was his life, it was not his livelihood. He did not know how well he sang; it just made him whole.”
The reviews after his concert were not terrific. He never sang again, except late at night when he was alone in the dry cleaning shop. I do not want to become Mr. Tanner. There are interesting videos on YouTube of the actual man who inspired “Mr. Tanner.” His name is Martin Tubridy. There is even a video of the song at a benefit concert for the Harry Chapin foundation where he sings the lines attributed to him. The real-life story is that Martin did not give up his singing career.
A few of my friends have encouraged me to explore publishing my writing. Mostly I feel nudges from the Lord. I have come to the realization that my writing may not ever make it into publication, (no I have not stopped trying). There is a massive work for selection of pieces and re-writing of those pieces that would have to occur. I will most definitely need an editor. (Average pay is $30 an hour.) I am not getting any younger. This writing about my life with Christ keeps me whole. I am so grateful for those who read the blog regularly.
So I continue to ask prayers for guidance from the Lord on how to proceed with all this. As phone calls and appointments interrupt my writing time and life overall intrudes, I will need to carve away dedicated time for the work. The Lord assured me months ago that it would indeed be work.
As you read this I will be attending the Transfiguration Associates autumn retreat. (These mental health crises so often seem to coincide with the retreats.) I am usually so desperate for rest by the time I arrive that sleep is the first thing on the agenda for me! So I try to go a few hours before the retreat begins hoping for a nap and some restoration.
This year I am hoping the retreat leader has time to talk with me. He is the director of Forward Movement. In 1964 I began reading Forward Day by Day. “Forward Day by Day is a booklet of daily inspirational meditations reflecting on a specific Bible passage, chosen from the daily lectionary readings as listed in the Revised Common Lectionary or the Daily Office from the Episcopal Church’s Book of Common Prayer.” Eventually instead of just the tiny blurb printed from an author I used the Lectionary references to read from the Psalms, Old Testament, New Testament and Gospel readings. I was delighted by this booklet that took my faith leaps and bounds from where I began searching for God.
Now I use the app they have made to listen to Morning Prayer with those daily readings. I recently picked up a print copy of Day by Day at church. I had stopped my subscription to the print version a long time ago. I have greatly enjoyed this month’s author. Imagine how blessed I was to read this entry dated Tuesday, October 8 after the hurts from the mental illness person.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” How many of you were taught that growing up? For me, it’s one of the biggest lies from childhood. I may have forgotten the physical cuts, bruises and scars I received growing up, but the words still linger decades after childhood.
Words have far more power than we give them credit. Words have the power to give life. Words have the power to ruin lives as well. Twice in this chapter, Jesus uses words to heal. (Luke 7)
In the beginning God spoke the universe into existence. Words have power.
And as Uncle Ben of Spider-Man fame said, “With great power comes great responsibility.” We should all be aware of the power of our words. Joseph Woo, Vicar of Mosaic Episcopal Church, Diocese of Texas
So as I hear the retreat leader (Rev. Scott Gunn) and pray to meet with him personally, I ask for your prayers, too. I am hoping to speak with him about where to go with the blog writings and the poetry. My priest has encouraged me to approach him and I am eager to do just that. Forward Movement has many forms of publications. Perhaps there is one that will work to get these musings out to the wider public?
Enjoy your weekend. May you be blessed with a greater awareness of God’s Presence.
As we begin another week, I wanted to wind up those intense recent postings with something suitable to draw our attention back to Christ. I am again drawn to surrender and disarmed by the Love of the Trinity. When I came across this I decided Benjamin William sings it best for me right now. The medley includes Agenda, Hungry, O Praise the Name, Gratitude, a chorus that goes How could I thank You enough? Eden, Isn’t It Just Like You, What a Beautiful Name. How can you beat keyboard, guitar, cello and violin? I pray you are blessed, too!
Turn it up and worship along!! Focus again, turn your eyes upon Jesus.
When the tree first arrived to our property I made a point of picking off the galls that were attached to the leaves. We have fed this tree and watered it. The soil here is difficult for anything to grow in. The builders did not help by mixing in huge rocks! In spite of the odds the tree is beginning to thrive! I was thrilled when I realized (once again) that this is a Burr Oak tree.
In 2002, long before we lived here, I wrote a piece about the inspiration I gained from a Bur Oak acorn. I will post it over 2 days, giving you time to ponder the message and trying not to bore you with a LONG read!
Often while I am walking prayerfully, my attention will be drawn to something around me. I will pick up the object and continue on my prayer walk. So it was during the mild February of 2002 while I was on retreat and came across a Bur Oak acorn. As I held it in my hand, continuing my walk and praying, I knew it would unfold its mysteries to me in the days or months to come. As I left the retreat grounds, I placed the acorn on the console of my car. For many months it rode right next to me with this scripture ringing out from it’s hard, pointy cover:
“Enlarge the site of your tent and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out; do not hold back; lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes.” Isaiah 54:2 NRSV
If you are not familiar with the Bur Oak (also at times spelled Burr oak) here is a short history taken from various Internet resources. The tree is tall, fairly slow growing, long-lived, and highly desirable for windbreaks, shelterbelts, and ornamental use. It has an impressive crown with a massive trunk and stout branches. The bur oak adapts to various soils where other oaks fail. The tree is tolerant of urban conditions. The bur will bear acorns in the nursery in ten years. It has strong wood and is good for timber.
The acorn itself is classified as a nut, because of its bony pericarp, and is actually the fruit of the oak tree. Particular to the genus Quercus, the stem broadens to the cupule or cap that holds the oak seed and fruit in place. The burr oak, so named because of its characteristic large seeds or acorns, was known as u’tahu can in the Native American tongue of the Lakota people, meaning acorn stem tree. More than half of the one-inch acorn is enclosed in a fringed, spiny cupule. Native Americans used them as an important dietary item with great storage capability and mobility. Wildlife, including turkeys, blue jays, squirrels, and deer also utilize acorns as a food source that is rich in carbohydrates and fats.
Today we like Bur Oaks for their adaptability to urban conditions. Indians and animals used them for food. What did God want me to see? I see an acorn with an almost impenetrable cover. Hard and dried and in it’s own way thorny. After months of looking at this Bur acorn, I began to realize that this acorn could be me. I could have my fruit “nearly completely covered by a rough, frilled cap.” Though I may ripen “in early to mid-autumn” the fruit would be unpalatable and inaccessible unless I let others have access to the fruit God has given to me.
There are at least two ways we can view the acorn: as a nut/fruit to eat or as a seed to plant. Animals unwittingly spread the Bur oak trees by burying stashes of the nuts and then forgetting where they put them. These nut-seeds may germinate into new oak trees. Therefore, I have choices here! I can remain one tough acorn, almost completely covered with a hard facade, or I can risk opening and revealing what is within. Paul made the same challenge to the Corinthians.
We have spoken frankly to you Corinthians; our heart is wide open to you.There is no restriction in our affections, but only in yours. In return–I speak as to children–open wide your hearts also. 2 Corinthians 6:11-13 NRSV
Moreover, the Living Bible makes it a bit clearer:
Oh, my dear Corinthian friends! I have told you all my feelings; I love you with all my heart. Any coldness still between us is not because of any lack of love on my part, but because your love is too small and does not reach out to me and draw me in. I am talking to you now as if you truly were my very own children. Open your hearts to us! Return our love! 2 COR 6:11-13
My choice to open or remain closed to my Christian brothers and sisters around me is always my choice: daily, weekly, monthly.
The right choice was strongly recommended by our Lord in John 12. He is speaking here about a grain of wheat. An acorn, as the seed is not a far stretch. Thinking of the nut-seed as buried in the ground read John 12.
“I am telling you the truth: If one grain of wheat does not fall into the ground and die, it will always be just one grain of wheat, but if the grain dies, it will produce a large cluster.” And in Simple English “Very truly, I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Those who love their life lose it, and those who hate their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. “ John 12:24-25 NRSV
“Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain. He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” John 12:24 New King James
It seems, through comparison of these three translations, that if I am to open to those around me I must fall into the ground, die to being just a nut seed, and live to becoming a tree plant. Truly a transfiguration! I may choose to remain just an acorn – alone – yet still an acorn. Alternatively, I may choose to move on to the next phase of living that God had in mind when He blew life into my being. Falling into the ground and dying will mean willingly removing my outer impenetrable cover, stripping away my surface persona to become the best that is within me. Hard and dried and in its own way thorny, the familiarity of the husk has become almost more desirable than the risk of the unknown I will face as a growing plant. The Gardener calls me on. (John 15:1)
Do we find this so surprising, that Jesus would ask us to die to our familiar ways and become something new with His help and guidance? Wasn’t He asked to die on our behalf and take on a new life form by our heavenly Father? Constantly, the Father left the task before Jesus as a choice. Jesus chose to become the firstborn from the dead. (Colossians 1:18) He leads the way for us.
Are you willing to yield yourself in surrender to His plans? Will you open wide your heart to His calling and the tasks God sets before you?
Treasures in Plain Sight, A Christian Blog 