Category: Surrender

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Illness and Health, Listen, Music, Obedience, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Trust

A Struggle This Month – Installment 1

This is not an easy entry to compose, but I sense a call to be transparent. Perhaps someone else might be encouraged if they too are struggling?

If you follow this blog you might remember I have had a peculiar pain in my left hip for the past year. The internist ordered an X-ray and they results were simply arthritis. This is a new to me arthritic pain. I am already on ,medications to alleviate the chronic pain that I suffer. The meds were not touching this one. Sometimes I would walk the dog, get halfway down the street and fear I might not make it home unless I called Bob to come get me. Have not had to do that yet, but it was THAT much pain.

When I saw the pain specialist he suggested an epidural much like I have had in the past for pain on my right side. It did not alleviate the pain. Then there was the procedure I call the nerve cooker. First Medicare insisted on 2 trial injections of Novocaine to ascertain if position was correct and if the procedure worked. The relief lasted 45 minutes to 2-1/2 hours. It was determined that the nerve cooker would work. I had the Medial Branch radio frequency nerve ablation and I looked forward to months of relief. It came with terrible leg cramps that woke me in the night. Thank goodness I have not had a repeat of the worst one that left me gasping, in pain from hip to hell, but I continue to experience lesser cramps.

The morning of my return appointment I did a centering meditation with Andrew Johnson on Insight Timer. I had moved into a place during meditation of seeing Jesus holding me while I floated in water. He literally upheld me. I remembered snippets of a song by Christy Nockles.

I saw the doctor later that day. It is final. The procedure did not work. The medical option did not prove to be helpful. In fact, it caused those unrelenting leg cramps. That left me at the bottom of the pit emotionally. The pain specialist said there was one more nerve block he could try. I asked didn’t we already do that? He said this was a different one. Or he could refer me to a back surgeon. He said even then he was not certain my ruptured discs were bad enough to warrant surgery. I recoiled. No one WANTS back surgery. But he gave me the name of a surgeon at Anderson Mercy.

I had asked myself, “What would my grandparents have done?” The answer was live with it. So I am trying to embrace my own prayer more fully. The prayer that goes, 

I have determined that this day, 
each time I am drawn up short by pain, 
I will praise You 
for I love You better than life - 
even better than quality of life.

On way home from surgeon I just wanted to weep at the prospect of more pain. I wanted a double dip peanut butter chocolate chip sundae with hot fudge and peanut butter topping for lunch. Being a conscientious diabetic I could not bring myself to stop at the UDF I passed on the way home. I just keep driving. Then I thought about having a vodka gimlet or two. Nope, did not do that either. My eyes kept overflowing with disappointment.

After trying to rest during the afternoon (and failing to sleep) I found the Christy Nockles song that I could not place that morning. I put it on replay, continuously for a couple hours, asking the truth to reside in my soul.

I still want to cry hearing the wondrous lyrics that hold His truth. “So just be held, be held, He holds you.” I know that none of this was a surprise to the Savior. He was not startled or taken aback that the procedure did not work. He knows and understands the pain I experience.

Dinner came and went. I was not much improved; however, I had the hope of that song to cling to. This is installment one of how I am coping. Tomorrow I will share how a TV sermon touched my heart.

Posted on in Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Just do it, Listen, Obedience, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Trust, Yield

Are You A Disciple of Jesus?

Yes! I have been impacted by these quotes and books. I pray the quotes bring you encouragement as well as food for thought.

The basic idea of being a disciple, in the New Testament, is being with Jesus, learning to be like Him. The disciple {since the resurrection} is someone who is with Jesus, still, learning to be like Him. That’s a status. Disciple is a status; spiritual formation is a process. Renovated by Jim Wilder

Spiritual formation, in the Christian sense, is the process of transformation that occurs to the disciple. Such transformation involves emotional and spiritual maturity. And if we are not disciples, we won’t move forward in that process. You cannot experience spiritual transformation – transformation onto the likeness of Christ – without being a disciple of Christ. Renovated by Jim Wilder

So now you see the seriousness of accepting a form of Christianity that does not involve being a disciple. If a disciple is defined as one who is “learning from Jesus how to lead my life as He would lead my life if He were I,” we have to ask ourselves Is that me? Then we have to answer honestly in terms of what is happening in our life. And then we have to ask Have I chosen that? And if I have chosen it, what am I doing to carry through with it?

All of those questions made me sit back and question my life, my church life, my path forward with the Lord. Won’t you take a moment to examen yourself in light of what Jim Wilder and Dallas Willard teach? I think these questions are of utmost importance for us as we attempt to follow Jesus through this life.

One question they pose reminds me of Ignatian spirituality. “If a disciple is learning from Jesus how to live, what am I learning from Him now? What have I learned from Him in the past? How does that whole progression look? As a disciple, my consciously chosen aim is to learn the life of Jesus, and I am constantly arranging and rearranging my affairs to realize this goal.”

I am an Associate at the Convent of the Transfiguration. The teachings about transformation remind me that Jesus calls me to also be transfigured – my old self for the New Creation He wants to create in me.

These two authors Jim Wilder and Tyler Staton are impacting my thoughts, words and deeds with Gospel truths. May they bring you closer to discipleship, too.

Posted on in Challenge, Faith, Listen, Music, Praise, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Worship

Says it Best for Sunday!

19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 1 Corinthians 6: 19-20 NIV

Here I am
I am Your temple
Come and fill me with Your glory, oh my Lord

Purify
All that′s not holy
'Til I reflect all Your beauty, oh my Lord

My soul longs for You
Longs for You
Burns for Your glory, oh my Lord
My soul longs for You
Longs for You
Burns for Your glory, oh my Lord

Here I am
I am Your temple
Come and fill me with Your glory, oh my Lord

Purify
All that′s not holy
'Til I reflect all Your beauty, oh my Lord

My soul longs for You
Longs for You
Burns for Your glory, oh my Lord

My soul longs for You
Longs for You
Burns for Your glory, oh my Lord
(Oh, all you are)
(Yes, is all I want)

There's only one thing I ask
Only one thing I′m after
That I would dwell in Your house
And see Your beauty forever
There′s only one thing I ask
There's only one thing I′m after
That I would dwell in Your house
And see Your beauty forever

(You're all I want)
Oh my soul longs for You
Longs for You
Yes, it burns for Your glory, oh my Lord
My soul longs for You
It cries out for You
Yes, it burns for Your glory, oh my Lord
(Purify the fire!)
(God, purify the fire!)
My soul longs for You
Yes, it longs for You
Yeah, it burns for Your glory, oh my Lord
My soul longs for You
Longs for You
Burns for Your glory, oh my Lord

Our souls long for You
They long for You
They burn for Your glory, oh my Lord
Writer(s): Jeremy Riddle

Lord, we are waiting here for You!

Posted on in Aging, Faith, Illness and Health, Just do it, Listen, medical treatment, Praise, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Thanks, Trust

Update on My Other Medical Issues

The nerve ablation does not seem to be working. I am having back pain again daily. The ablation also caused some startling leg cramps and spasms. I will not repeat the procedure.

Time to ‘learn to live with it.” Keep asking myself what my Grandparents did with these issues. Just because we have some medical advances that does not mean I have to avail myself of those repeatedly. Especially when one does not work and causes painful side effects. Older adults are learning that yes, just about every medication and procedure comes with possible side effects. Those fast talking ads should pronounce slowly “Proceed with caution!“

Marijuana is now legal in Ohio. Recently when I was out in the backyard taking photos of the garden, I smelled that distinct odor of “Whacky Tobaccy.” Yuck. It was bad enough when cigarette smoked drifted over from the neighbor. With the breeze I likely will never know where the odor is coming from. All I do know is it is legal here now.

Wearing the new orthotics in my shoes longer each day. Yesterday I forgot to add the silicone toe covers for the big toes. This morning have a honking huge blister. Here we go again. Guess new shoes is the next step?

Disintegration of the body never ends until the very end when we receive our promised new body.

 Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4: 1,7-9, 16-18 NIV

Posted on in Challenge, Faith, Family, Obedience, Prayer, Surrender, Traveling, Trust

What is Most Important?

Yesterday. September 1, daughter’s family was robbed while they were in a Safeway grocery store in Oakland, California. They had not yet checked into their Air B & B and all their backpacks (packed with electronics and medications from air travel) were still in the van. Some how Safeway does not sound like a safe way to shop! The parking lot is on top of the grocery as land in that area is at a premium. I have been there often with Bob.


Thieves broke the back window and swiped all but 1 backpack. Go figure! Four laptop computers, oh my! And one grandgirl became hysterical over all of it. They thankfully left the suitcases with their clothing.

This morning I am rejoicing that no one was injured or confronted. My son-in-law and one Grandgirl ran down the street following the pings the computers put out for location. They found nothing. The ‘security guard’ in the parking lot was useless. He evidently was to one side talking with friends when it happened.

Yes, Police were called and proper reports filed. My daughter waited 4 hours for a tow truck and replacement van. Never showed up. Finally drove to nearest location of the car rental place to get a replacement.

She is working with pharmacies in Ohio to get refills on medications. Of course, on a holiday weekend that is very difficult. If no refills remain it could be hard to reach a prescribing doctor!

They will likely never face the thieves in a courtroom. They do however now come face to face with the quote, “People are more important than things.“

And the power of prayer. I sent out numerous prayer requests as soon as Bob notified me of the robbery. It was extremely difficult to get the one Grandgirl to calm down. Eventually she did. Two family members thanked me via text for praying. I hope they each realize the power of God to comfort us. I cannot imagine how those male family members would have reacted had they seen the robbery in progress? Just the fact that 2 of the family relied on Apple to help them follow pings makes my heart skip a beat.

Puts me in mind of a plaque in our home.

I also have a calligraphy that I read often to help me regain my center in times like this.

Prayer by Tod Loder, art by Holy Monroe

Lord keep my family in all of their ways, I pray. Help them to know Your closeness in times of feeling violated. If possible, show them how to recover the stolen items. Regardless, open their eyes and hearts to know Your presence and protection in all situations. I pray You will keep them in the remainder of their vacation time.

Posted on in Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Family, Just do it, Memories, Music, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Trust

Wesleyan Covenant Prayer

There are many people who shun written prayers and just as many others who rely upon them. I actually do both. Do not even know now where I recently came across this prayer. John Wesley interests me because before I was born my Grandfather Snapp was a Methodist minister. He died before I arrived. It is said that those who knew Allen Ross Snapp (1876 to 1946) loved him. I have also heard he preached hell fire and brimstone. Wish I could find a record of one of his sermons. I would love to have known him.

My mother, Her father, Allen Ross, back row 2 of her 5 brothers, Frank Snapp and Howard Snapp

When I was looking for a church to get baptized in at age 15 I visited quite a few. The Methodist one I visited did not do a lot for my young questing heart. Later, we did join Clough United Methodist where our young baby son was dedicated to the Lord.

This prayer, often used in January services among the Methodists, spoke to my heart. Surely Grandpa Snapp used it in his services, too! I am certain you will hear refrains of Paul’s letters in it. I sincerely hope you can read, pray and recite it with a genuine heart of dedication to Christ.

I am no longer my own by Yours.
Put me to what You will,
rank me with whom You will.
Put me to doing,
put me to suffering.
Let me be employed for You or laid aside for You,
exalted for You or brought low for You.
Let me be full, let me be empty. Let me have all things, let me have nothing.
I freely and wholeheartedly yield all things
to Your pleasure and disposal.
And now, glorious and blessed God,
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit,
You are mine and I am Yours.
So be it.
And the covenant now made on earth,
let it be ratified in heaven. Amen.

And set to music

I pray you can give yourself to the Lord, if not today, then very soon. One church challenged their members to read this daily for 100 days. You might want to try that!

Posted on in Book quotes, Faith, Listen, Music, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Trust, Worship, Yield

Tyler Staton

I ordered a book by Tyler Staton entitled Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools. At the time it seemed a good idea. I put it in my Christian Book Distributors cart and then forgot it for a while. Recently I had cause to place an order with CBD. I included this book in my order.

This morning when I started reading it I was struck almost immediately why I needed this, yet another tome about prayer.

Most of us get about knee-deep in the Christian life, discover that the water feels fine, and stop there. We never swim in the depths of the divine intimacy Jesus won for us. This book is an invitation to swim. Page 5 Introduction

Yes, he captured my attention with those few sentences. As a long time prayer person and intercessor there is often a need to boost my enthusiasm for the prayer effort. Not that talking with my Father is always an effort, but I get stymied at times. I likely will be quoting this author for a while.

3 As the man went eastward with a measuring line in his hand, he measured off a thousand cubits and then led me through water that was ankle-deep. 4 He measured off another thousand cubits and led me through water that was knee-deep. He measured off another thousand and led me through water that was up to the waist. 5 He measured off another thousand, but now it was a river that I could not cross, because the water had risen and was deep enough to swim in—a river that no one could cross. Ezekiel 47:3-5 NIV

How deep are you willing to go with God? Bob will be traveling to California soon and I will have the house alone with Lucky dog. I am hoping this will be a time of deeper prayer for me! Sort of a retreat at my home address. That can be difficult to pull off, but I am ready for it!

Most of you know how much I like the music of Christy Nockels. Her husband is often her collaborator. She asked him to write an instrumental album with music she could have playing while she was writing. This is one selection from his creation. And creative he certainly is!

Please use this music to help you pause and draw closer to the Living God as you are called to go deeper with the Mighty Trinity. You might want to use the entire album for your prayer time?

Posted on in Challenge, Faith, Just do it, Listen, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Trust

Agree 2016

It has been difficult to focus on writing this week so here I bring you something from the past. I hope it gives you an idea on how to defeat the accuser of your soul during your own times of trial.

Have you been tormented by the thought you are not qualified to do something in life? I have. I was even tormented after the birth of my first child by the enemy asking, “How can you be a mother without a mother?” You see, my mother died in her sleep in our apartment on my due date and I found her. It was a horrible ordeal.

The following story was less of an ordeal emotionally, yet still a difficult challenge in my walk. I hope this can bring you some encouragement!

Agree with Your Adversary Quickly © Molly Lin Dutina 9/3/2016

I have had an interest in the Bible ever since I was a pre-teen. While other kids my age were out doing group things, I was often in my room reading the Word and studying daily references through the publication “Forward Day by Day.” Much later I learned these were the “Daily Office” or assigned Scriptures for the day. As an adult I was interested in study groups and furthering my understanding of Scripture. Through Women’s Aglow, an international women’s group, I understood the Lord’s call for me to be an intercessor and teach His word.

As I prepared to teach Bible study lessons using various Women’s Aglow publications I often had the thought that I was in no way qualified to teach. Yes, I completed one year of college and had a good command of the English language, some writing skills and made use of several different kinds of Scripture reference books. However, I had no formal Bible training or chaplain schooling. As these thoughts became more troublesome I began to hear, “How can you assume to teach this? You are not qualified in any way, shape or form!”  I knew I needed help to learn how to answer such an attack from the enemy of my soul.  

I found some methods from the words of Jesus to help with the taunts. In John 5:19, 30 Jesus says “The Son can do nothing of His own accord, but only what He sees the Father doing. By myself I can do nothing.” Most Americans have been taught so strongly to be self-sufficient that we hardly ever entertain this idea of dependency. Yet the Lord insists He is dependent upon the Father for all things He does. Can we say the same? Unlikely we would do this on our own unless backed into a corner!

In order for my attempt to push back the accusations to work, I had to commit to teaching as my Lord Jesus and the Father of Lights showed me. Invariable, during the preparation of each lesson there would come a point where the Lord would ask me, “Molly, how are you doing with this concept in your own life?” And I would stop for some honest self-examination before I could presume to bring the lesson to others. Often, my best teaching examples came from my own time of examination, confession and determination to renew my life in accord with my Lord.

In Matthew 5:25 Jesus taught “Come to terms quickly with your adversary.” The King James Version says “Agree with thine adversary quickly.” I began to do just that. “You are right. I cannot be a Bible teacher in my own strength, but I have committed my teaching to the Lord Jesus Christ. The Holy Spirit will guide and direct me. So if you do not like how I am teaching, take it up with Jesus! He is in charge here.” Then I would go on, confident that the Christ was my rear guard. (ISA 52:12)

Is there an area in your walk where you are not strong or courageous. A place where you feel alone? In Joshua 1: 5-6 God says to Joshua “ No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.  Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them. “   James 4:6 But He gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” In what area of your life are you barraged with discouragement? Will you ask for God’s help?

He is no respecter of persons. If we humble ourselves He will give us help.  Can you agree with your Adversary quickly and then commit to follow whatever the Lord requires of you?

Through the power of the Holy Spirit, the Word of God and my willingness to yield to whatever He showed me, I was able to teach and given strength and wisdom beyond my own self.

We will with God’s help.
Posted on in Amazing Creations, Art, Faith, Praise, Surrender, Trust

Me an Example?

Recently a friend texted me, “You’re my example and hero when it comes to trusting the Lord.” Wow that felt like a lot of pressure when I read it.

Well, what else are we going to do? To whom shall we go?

Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. John 6:68 I tried to find the Vineyard song based on this verse, but could not. If you know the song, please send me a comment with the title?

All I can say is my life requires continuous total surrender. I am well aware that even when I think for a moment that I have it all together, things can crumble in an instant. Without the love and strength of my faithful Redeemer, I am nothing.

I wanted to post this song recently and had difficulty finding the You Tube version that had this sculptor in it. He portrays the human heart accurately according to experts. Well, without further ado, here it is! A song for my life and perhaps yours? The video is just amazing!

All I say is trust – t is a cross – the word asks the question ‘R U trusting Him?’ and ends with another t

t r u s t

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Illness and Health, medical treatment, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Trust

There was One Moment

As you know I had my first experience with nerve ablation. I was so grateful for the many people praying for me during this experience.

There was a moment after all the intake questions, blood pressure reading, etc. After the IV was started when there was a space where fear might come in, that I turned to the Father – and there in that moment – it seemed as if I could feel the prayers of my husband, friends, and loved ones. A peace came over me and I submitted to the procedure with a calm. No, it was not pleasurable, but I was able to find the courage to go through with it. Unlike some procedures I did not even shed a tear this time. I am so grateful to know how to do La Maze breathing when I must have something painful done to me.

The procedure did not take as long as the internet reported. The Versed they administered through the IV did help keep me calm. I woke up the same morning with a pounding headache that has hounded me all day long. Even Versed did not knock it down!

When we got home I could barely stay awake. Went to bed uncertain how to even get comfortable as right shoulder is still painful after January surgery and the hip ablation was on the left side. Some how I finally fell asleep for a while. Got up for a few moments and back to bed again with ice pack.

When I finally got up for the afternoon I was trying to stay calm and be nice to my loving husband. Inside though I was all ruffled and agitated. After I finally landed in my chair, I could not reach the TV remote, but remembered I could listen to a sermon or podcast to help distract me while I crocheted. The Lord was waiting there, too!

This sermon is about 30 minutes long, but it was just exactly what I needed to hear. Jordan Rice addresses the question”Is your life harder than you expected it to be?” by studying Psalm 27 and he stresses our methods of coping using denial, delusion, distraction and determination.

He presents not only a fresh model of praying using: ACTS = adoration, confession, thanksgiving and supplication. He also leads his congregation in a sample of this method.

Verse 1 turned my attention to the fact that indeed God was with me during the radio frequency ablation. I was surprised when they applied a pad to my right thigh to “ground me” for the radio frequency. Rather like being in some sci-fi procedure!

The sermon touched me deeply. I pray it is a blessing you, too. Whatever is going on in your circumstances, I believe this will apply to you.

My back is still sore (to be expected). We are all praying this will kill pain in my hip. If it does, then when the nerve grows back in a few months they can perform the procedure again. If there is a next time I will hopefully be more brave!