Many women in America suffer from body image disgust. I came across a photo from when my kids were little. We were at a beach and I was in a swimsuit. I can remember seeing myself in that swimsuit and thinking at the time how I needed to lose weight. Looking at it now, “NOT SO!” I had a great figure.
Are there things about yourself you do not like or accept? When the diagnosis of aneurysm came I started to think my body had failed me. Yet, someone mentioned to me that one neurologist believes that this flaw in a blood vessel may have been there since birth and gradually weakened and enlarged over time!
There is great power in accepting things as they are, not wishing our lives were different as much as adjusting our expectations to how things truly are. One powerful book teaches that concept. “Radical Acceptance” has helped me avoid unnecessary suffering by coming to terms with reality. Tara Brach teaches, similar to Brother Lawrence, that we should cut short the negative thoughts and go for the ideas that move us forward.
And I said to my body, softly, “I want to be your friend.” It took a long breath. And replied, “I have been waiting my whole life for this.” Nayyirah Waheed
Isn’t that quote a lovely word picture? Are we willing to befriend our body and do whatever is necessary for the best care we can give it? One man I know is reluctant to participate in physical therapy. When PT is prescribed there is something we need help working on to get us to the best place possible.
I could list a thousand ways these ideas apply. You likely know your own ways. So try to befriend your earthen vessel and inhabit it as best you can, giving the best care you can.
Recently we were given tickets to see the Wizard of Oz ballet. What a treat! I was reminded as the Scarecrow wanted a brain; the Tin Man pined for a heart and the Cowardly Lion was desperate for courage, how I likely have all the things I need for my journey on earth. The Wizard showed the Tin Man, Scarecrow and Lion that they had already shown heart , brains and courage on the journey with Dorothy.
His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 2 Peter 1:3 NIV
Our God is more mighty than any pretend Wizard. He has promised and given us everything we need, as Peter wrote, for a godly life. Why should we belittle and denigrate what He has created? We ARE His workmanship. Thankfulness will get us further than shame and negative thinking. I pray you will go forward in this life thanking the Lord for how you are created.
For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10 NIV
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 2 Corinthians 4:7 NIV
Chonda Pierce used to say this verse shows that we are all crackpots!
Many world religions teach us the importance of learning how to live with uncertainty. Most of us are not very good at it! I read this quote recently from Gratitude. It hit me right where I have been living.
Peace is an invitation in daily life to breathe deep, right here, in the uncertainty. Morgan Harper Nichols
Learning to live with the knowledge that I have a large aortic aneurysm has been difficult and very unsettling. Knowing my God calls me to a life of peace has me wondering how to tap this particular dance. (My sister took tap lessons, not me. I remember her reciting shuffle-ball-step.)
My Internist convinced me that I cannot continue to live in this high state of stress. Doing so for 2 months has caused a massive, ugly fibromyalgia flare. Fibro is a nasty condition addressed in other blog pages. Suffice it to say my body became a train wreck.
I began returning to some of the best teachers I know regarding good mental health. Rick Hanson.net has many resources from this renowned Psychologist. One of his books came to me by way of my sister. I passed it along to my granddaughter. Now I am buying another one for myself!
Resting in Calm Strength: When you recognize that you are basically all right in the present moment, you can release unnecessary anxiety. This isn’t about denying real threats or challenges but rather about not letting anxiety run the show when you are, in fact, safe.
I have prayed and asked the Lord for help with all of this. Deliverance came with realization that this aneurysm may have been present for decades! Now that we are aware of of it, doctors can monitor and treat it. Yes, I very likely will need open heart surgery at some time in the future, but I am in fact all right now.
This is not to say I will remain calm and full of equanimity when the time comes to book that surgery. It just says I can cope in the here and now – this moment – without dwelling in that high anxiety constantly. Perhaps with practice I will be able to face the surgery with peace and calm? The hard work of re-framing all of this plus the three blood pressure medications they have me on seem to finally be bringing my blood pressure down. Now, to maintain those lower numbers!
It has been difficult, but not impossible to let go of those aneurysm thoughts. With practice and diligence I have been able to lay most of them aside. I realized browsing though Hansen’s webpages that I had used the old, ugly habit of rumination with the aneurysm. Rumination is based on negative, obsessive thoughts and it drags me down to the lowest places. Here is a blog entry I wrote about it in 2022. https://treasures-in-plain-sight.org/2022/07/21/rumination/
So I have signed up for his 5 week course entitled Breaking Out of Rumination. Dr. Hanson says that rumination “is very normal, and problematic in the extreme.” I am looking forward to getting a handle on how to stop myself from this habit. I likely learned it from my family of origin – that inability to let something go – just hashing and re-hashing it over and over again. Plus, more good news, when I actually went to sign up the course was half-off!
My writing may drop to 4 blogs a week as I put more work into preparing the poetry for publication. I am also pulling blog entries to try to organize into booklets for publication. Yes! I found an editor and now need to apply myself to the new work of compiling, editing for my part, sending them to her for edits, revising, preparing for publication, open an Amazon self-publishing account, etc.etc.
That certainly gives me other things to think about. My Internist encouraged me to put my focus there!
You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, {staid on Thee} because they trust in you. Isaiah 26:3 NIV
This is truly not prayer for a burglar’s success from the movie Topkapi of 1964! There is an image though that came to me during meditative prayer. The image involves the robber dropping down from the glass ceiling and carrying a knife in his teeth. His goal is to steal a dagger encrusted with jewels and replace it with a fake dagger. In 1991 I attended at retreat at the Convent of the Transfiguration. What follows is my journal entry.
Sister Margaret taught, “There aren’t any conditions of prayer. There are some things we can do to become more receptive to God. We can wait and desire God in hopeful expectation.” She taught about God’s Presence as a jewel, prayer as a treasured jewel.
Then we had a time of meditation and prayer – meditative prayer. Winfield Blevins says, “In personal prayer we speak to God, but in meditative prayer we allow God to speak to us through His word and His Spirit.” (I would add that God speaks to us, too, through images we can relate to.)
So during that retreat of November,1991 I envisioned and wrote:
“I see the treasure, as jewels in a case, the multi-faceted beauty of God’s love and wisdom.
As in Topkapi, the lid is lifted and I enter the treasures of His Glory as a frog enters a pond.
I go to what others believe is the bottom and as I still my soul, the treasure box opens and I drop as a rough stone through the beauteous treasure of His wisdom and glory, into the depth of His love.
I may stop for a while but it is as if I am merely perched on a ledge for I have yet to comprehend the depth or length or height of His love.
I wait on that ledge, rooted and grounded in love absorbing massive quantities of nourishment silently.”
I rejoice over Your promise like one who finds vast treasure.Psalm 119:162 HCSB
-you are being rooted and grounded in love. I pray that you may have the power to comprehend, with all the saints, what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.Ephesians 3:17b-19 NRSV
So many years have passed since I wrote that. I have learned so much about my God and prayer, yet I still have so very much to learn! And oh the glory of His treasures! I cannot emphasize that too much! Dropping down into silence and prayer is NEVER a waste of our time.
“The sword used by Roman soldiers was a short sword known as a gladius; and in the hands of a skilled man, it was a fearsome weapon. In fact, it became known as the sword that conquered the world. It was sharpened on both sides, making it lethal against an unarmored foe. The point was also sharpened, enabling it to pierce armor.
“Usually around 20 to 30 inches long, the gladius was not the medieval-style long sword usually associated with the armor of God.
“This Roman sword was light (around 2 pounds), short and designed to be wielded easily with one hand while the other hand grasped the shield. Its size meant it could be drawn in close quarters, and its sharpened edges made it a threat to any enemy who got too close.”
Perhaps that vision of the bejeweled dagger in Topkapi was not too far off! I saw the movie and decades later one scene came in my meditative prayer time. I have never forgotten that experience. Now I am writing this out for you. Below is a clip of the movie scene.
May you discover the treasures of prayer as you drop into the deeper layers of knowing our God.
The opening drawing is a take off on Scripture. My point is this is someone’s artwork. It reflects God’s power in creation. It is also a reflection of the work of the Trinity in our lives, if we will yield to the work of the Word.
Have you had a glimpse of the masterpiece God is making with your life? Do you know that the Creator who made the seasons is also making you into a masterpiece?
I recently saw a pen and ink drawing and was hit by the thought,
"You, Lord, are drawing the lines, etching the picture, planning my future, equipping me to yield in gentle and quiet obedience."
drawing the lines
etching the picture
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 2 Peter 1:3 NIV
Let your adornment be the inner self with the lasting beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:4 NRSVUE
My thanks to Juan D. for the first photo portion and M. Linda McLaughlin for the second. The opening sketch is from the J. S. Paluch Company.
For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there until they have watered the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, 11 so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose and succeed in the thing for which I sent it. Isaiah 55:10 NRSVUE
Are you yielding to the plan? Is your goal that gentle and quiet spirit of obedience?
Night time and the Unresolved Come marching to my bedroom Tramping through my head Hurling accusations Quoting words once said Reason takes a low profile While logic flees the scene Where is the solution For circumstances now turned mean
Never, shoulds, and woulds Paint dismal, hopeless scenes Understanding vanishes Deep each insult bleeds.
Forgiveness is the answer That makes the war to cease. Let it go. Let go. Release. Present moment calls to me Be NowHere in God's sweet peace
A song can be resung The past can't be undone But pouring in forgiveness The fall-out is made numb
Come to here and now Feast on today's plenty In gratitude for all Dare to now drink deeply From streams of joy and love
We are granted Only to "Live our lives by moments" Aren't we now
Yes these days I am wrestling with a different sort of Unresolved. The truth of moment by moment living still holds the same truth!
One night I awoke and tried to pray Saint Patrick’s breastplate. After years of knowing and praying it, and reciting it I struggled to remember the words. Here is one version of that prayer.
I arise today through a mighty
strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
through belief in the Threeness,
through confession of the Oneness
towards the Creator.
Christ with me, Christ before me,
Christ behind me,
Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ where I lie, Christ where I sit,
Christ where I arise,
Christ in the heart of every
person who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of every
person who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.
I arise today through a mighty strength,
the invocation of the Trinity...
Whatever happens to be going on in your mind in the middle of the night, I pray you can rest well!
In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety. Psalm 4:8 NIV
For a while my writing may be hit or miss. This morning was taken up with going for blood work, dropping off papers at dermatology office, etc. Needed the blood work for the newest blood pressure medication they put me on. Yep, still trying to get my blood pressure down to where the cardiologist wants it. I accidentally let my subscription for Taltz run out. Of course! That required filling out paperwork, getting dermatologist to fill out her two pages and fax it all to Lilly Cares. Hoping they can get my medication here before I need the next injection ! I do not need psoriasis to flare up with all this other stuff going on.
A few days ago I listed verses that are helping me cope with the medical unknowns and my frame of mind. I never really mentioned how I use those verses. Yes, I read them over regularly, but I apply them at random times. I have never thought of myself as a person who worries a lot, at least, compared to my mother. Her anxiety was something to behold!
This unexpected report that I have some different sorts of heart troubles have set me to worrying, when I allow myself. So how to stop that? Well, first of all I have to become aware of the worrisome thought. When I can catch myself worrying I have begun stopping and asking the thought, “Are you from God?” If the answer is not yes, then I go to Corinthians where we are told to take every thought captive to Christ Jesus.
2 Corinthians 10:5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
When I used to teach this verse in Bible study classes more often than not someone would ask, “Every thought?” I am re-learning that I certainly need to take captive the ones sent to torment me. None of us have any control over the things that will happen to us. So if I fret and get concerned over where all this is going with tests and possible open heart surgery I can work myself up into a high state of anxiety. That helps nothing!
After I send a thought packing to King Jesus, (and it MUST go as a captive of Jesus), I purposefully begin praising Him for being my companion and Savior. Such a Good Shepherd! He makes a way where there seems to be no way, just like His Father.
See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:19 NIV
There are many verses that talk about God making a way where there seems to be no way. God also changes situations that seem to be unchangeable. So we hope. We pray. We cling, knowing that we are never left on our own. Regardless of the outcome we walk with a mighty God!
Next Monday I have the Cardiac MRI, so with fasting, etc. I am unlikely to be writing on that day for posting next week, unless I get it done over the weekend. All prayers appreciated!!
Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy on us.
During a church discussion this theme arose without the poem below being read. Bob and I had not yet watched the movie in reference.
One woman mentioned how the movie Moana in 2016 was a guide to her when in a distressful situation, again I was convicted with the certainty that God will use anything to help and guide us. I spoke of the power of Radical Acceptance, a book by a Buddhist psychologist. When I read portions of the book later in the week and this poem, the pieces fell into place.
This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
Radical acceptance, can mean entertaining unexpected visitors. Rumi says I am to meet them at the door laughing and invite them in. Things happen to all of us that are unforeseen and can knock us out of our orbit. Do we resist like a stubborn donkey? or yield to the reality of what is and move forward? I cannot say I am able to meet the unexpected at the door and laughing, let them in. But I will learn to with God’s help!
At this website https://fivefortheroad.com/lessons-learned-disneys-moana/She writes the theme of Moana is self discovery and finding your way. She goes on to say family is so important, it’s okay to fail, follow your heart, and be brave.
I would add that whoever or whatever shows up at your door, do as Rumi says and entertain them all! Find your way through any upheaval with the help of the Lord. He is a Good Shepherd and knows every situation before we do, and He is not surprised or taken aback by anything.
Unlike me, I have an unruffled Father!
“In returning and rest I am saved, in quietness and trust will be my strength.” Isaiah 30:15a adapted. Keep still.
Ever since we traveled repeatedly to the areas of New Mexico I have been interested in American Indian life and lore. Actually, as a child my parents took us to Carlsbad Caverns National Park and that began my fascination. As we passed through Oklahoma and the plains states I became more aware of the Native Americans.
I recently came across this book Braiding Sweet Grass by Robin Wall Kimmerer. To me, she has such impressive titles to her credit! She is a mother, scientist, decorated professor, and enrolled member of the Citizen Potawatomi Nation. This is her second book. I saw it first in a national park bookstore. I was able to obtain it recently through our local library.
When we were in New Mexico I bought some braided sweet grass. It has several ceremonial uses. I have started to use it in the house only during spring and summer when we can have the windows open. I think it would be such fun to grow my own sweet grass and braid it. Have not explored that yet.
This section of the book links the lore to the science discussed in the video segment below. It just delights me!
In the old times, our elders say, the trees talked to each other. They’d stand in their own council and craft a plan. But scientists decided long ago that plants were deaf and mute., locked in isolation without communication. The possibility of conversation was summarily dismissed. Science pretends to be purely rational, completely neutral, a system of knowledge-making in which the observation is independent of the observer. And yet the conclusion was drawn that plants cannot communicate because they lack the mechanisms that animals use to speak. The potentials for plants were seen purely through the lens of animal capacity. Until quite recently no one seriously explored the possibility that plants might “speak” to one another.
There is now compelling evidence that our elders were right – the trees are talking to one another. They communicate via pheromones, hormonelike compounds that are wafted on the breeze, laden with meaning. …. The trees in a forest are often interconnected by subterranean networks of mycorrhizae, fungal strands that inhabit tree roots. Robin Wall Kimmerer
The printed book, Braiding Sweet Grass, is 380-some pages long. I am not likely to finish it right now, but I wanted to bring it to your attention. Perhaps this sort of reading appeals to you, too? Maybe I will read it in full at a later time.
I think it would be absolutely delightful if communication between humans happen this way! Perhaps they do? There are times I will see a car that reminds me of someone. Sometimes I see that same sort of car 4 times in a single day. The first time I likely just think of that person. The second time I pray for them. The third and fourth time I am likely to text and ask if they are okay, letting them know I am lifting them in prayer. I firmly believe that God can use anything to further His kingdom. anything to get my attention and propel me towards obedience. Perhaps this a supernatural root system created between people through the power of the Holy Spirit? The Creator of the Universe could do that!! A supernatural root system between humans.
Irregardless of proof or no proof, yield to the Lord and do not neglect when the Holy Spirit puts someone on your heart or in your mind. We likely will never know this side of heaven the power of such obedience!
Therefore confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The prayer of the righteous is powerful and effective. James 5:16
The collects gather together timely thoughts and Scriptures throughout the church year. Sadly the Prayer Book does not give the Scripture references, but then it would likely run to many volumes.
The first Sunday in Advent we prayed the following prayer:
Almighty God, give us grace to cast away the works of darkness, and put on the armor of light, now in the time of this mortal life in which your Son Jesus Christ came to visit us in great humility; that in the last day, when he shall come again in his glorious majesty to judge both the living and the dead, we may rise to the life immortal; through him who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.Book of Common Prayer Page 211
I thought it would be interesting to compare it with the prayer (or collect) from Christmas Eve! We are encouraged to pay attention to the collects, not just hear them once in a Sunday service.
O God, you have caused this holy night to shine with the brightness of the true Light: Grant that we, who have known the mystery of that Light on earth, may also enjoy him perfectly in heaven; where with you and the Holy Spirit he lives and reigns, one God, in glory everlasting. Amen.Book of Common Prayer Page 212
Both prayers put emphasis on Light and that is so wonderful in this season of fewer hours of sunlight. God gives us grace to CAST AWAY the works of darkness and God causes the brightness of the true Light to shine. God gives us the armor of light and power to put it on.
We thank God that He has made known to us the MYSTERY of that LIGHT on earth. Even as we lit the Advent candles and brightened our homes with decorations and perhaps candle light we acknowledge His blessings of light and power over the works of darkness.
Have you put away all of your holiday decorations? Usually the last of the decorations come down about now. In the church calendar, Epiphany (January 6 this year) commemorates the visit of the Magi, the baptism of Jesus, and the wedding at Cana. So many things to celebrate and at times they get wrapped into one big day!
The first prayer acknowledges that Jesus came to visit us in great humility and we too are to walk in humility.
Give us grace to Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness; rather, expose them. Ephesians 5:11 NRSVUE
Give us strength to Put on the whole armor of God, so that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil Ephesians 6: 11 NRSVUE
We are to know the mystery of His light here on earth. We look forward to the last day when He shall come in His glorious majesty.
Just an old woman’s random thoughts about our wonderful Father and His plans for our good. Isaiah wrote He is named Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Whatever title you use to refer to this majestic God remember what it says in James 4:8a Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.
Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah Psalm 62:8 NRSVUE
I came across this verse the other morning. It spoke to me loud and clear. We all long for someone to listen to us. Yes, I believe every single one of us does!
This verse tells us that God is wiling to be that listener. If we want to be heard we have an obligation to build a relationship with God. An obligation to pour our heart out before Him. An obligation to learn that God is indeed willing to be a refuge for us.
This morning as the hired help from the landscape company came through the neighborhood cleaning driveways and sidewalks with hand snow shovels, Bob pointed out that one of them was wearing a garbage bag as a coat. I was appalled to see it when he came into view. I had taken out granola bars for them as they were finishing our drive. I learned the last time we had a big storm that they really appreciate the snack. Yes, indeed, the young man was wearing a sweatshirt and a garbage bag. Current temperature 21 and still snowing. I had bought a winter coat through Walmart at an unbelievably low price intending to donate it to the local coat drive. In the meanwhile, I had also found a thermal vest to donate. In good conscious I could not let this man go down the street with just a garbage bag for weather protection. All the other men had on winter coats and hoods, etc. So I came in the house and with Bob’s blessing went outside with the new coat for him. He did not give much away with his eyes. It seemed to fit him well. I asked him to give me the garbage bag. It was heavy duty, landscaper grade, so I assume the company gave it to him. When some of the guys began laughing I hollered, “No teasing!” In retrospect I should have pointed to myself and said “Mamacita!”
Who knows? Maybe that man asked God for a coat this morning? What about you? Have you spoken with the Lord today? Will you pour out your heart before Him today? Have you ever experienced Him as your Refuge?
The morning I came across the verse from Psalm 62, I was listening to this melody. It moved me to pour out my heart to Him.
(I recently discovered Sheku, but more about that another time.)
I tell the LORD things I do not tell others. I am certain others get tired of hearing about the chronic pain I have. I even get wearied of writing it down. There is a kind of relief though in knowing that God knows, and hears, and cares about me. So I tell Him. Refuge.
Years ago we assisted teaching a class at church about marriage. One of the tools we used was a word list. It can be helpful in journaling also. There were headings such as mad, sad, glad, afraid, confused, ashamed, lonely, high energy, low energy, uneasy, secure/confident, affectionate, free-and-easy. Under each of those headings are as many as 35 other words to elaborate that feeling. This sheet is helpful in communicating with your spouse, but also when communicating with the LORD. Here is a link to a similar chart. https://www.hoffmaninstitute.org/wp-content/uploads/Practices-FeelingsSensations.pdf
Difficult to read, I get it.
I have a friend who says her husband has difficulty communicating. I wonder if this chart would be helpful to him? Of course, for it to help one must be willing to use it. Getting familiar with these words can certainly be a huge help towards pouring your heart out to God. This is at least a starting place for us. I advise journaling either on paper or electronically. There is something about anchoring your heart in words that make the outpouring more concrete.
Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah Psalm 62:8 NRSVUE
Maybe even more difficult than pouring out your heart is the first line, “Trust in Him at all times.” If you kept a diary as a child, it might have looked like this.
As an adult it can be more challenging to trust that no one will read your words if you can lock your journal. Of course, with online cloud storage , passwords and private vaults in the cloud it is much simpler to keep your words private.
Why not begin now? Just write a line or two. Perhaps choose a few words from the feelings list?
Treasures in Plain Sight, A Christian Blog 