Many years ago I found this statement and put it into cross stitch. “Self Care is not selfish.” This was crucial for me as I ventured into healing from a family of alcoholism and criticism. A friend who was enrolled in Weight Watchers loved it and needed to hear it, too. I eventually threw it in a drawer and come across it from time to time.
Saint Francis is quoted as saying at the end of his life that he wished he had taken better care of Brother Ass. That was his name for his body. He participated in many methods of extreme ascetic practices. I never did that, but my Brother Ass could have used more tender loving care. I tried to cling to Paul’s verse, but was never good at it for very long.
but I pommel my body and subdue it, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified. 1 Corinthians 9:27 RSV
On the other hand, I live in America and am overfed and under exercised. I can give you whole lists of reasons trying to justify my lack of consistent exercise, but that is not my point. Did I take enough good care of myself? Probably not.
Self-care is never a selfish act – it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others. -Parker Palmer
This heart health crisis shows me that no, I did not do all that I should have to take care of myself. I worked hard on my emotional health, psychological health, spiritual health, but more than likely my physical health went by the wayside. Yes, I adapted healthy recipes and tried not to feed our family things known to be unhealthy. But physical self-care for me? Not much of a priority.
Brother Lawrence taught me that “Useless thoughts spoil everything and much mischief begins there. We ought to reject them as soon as we perceived their impertinence and return to our communion with God.” So I speak with God about these failures in my past and accept forgiveness. Then move back into communion with Him: speaking to Him, my heart open towards the Trinity. Guilt and shame only get me stuck in the muck.
All we have is now. That is why it is called the present. The present moment of seeking the Holy One, staying with thoughts of compassion, love unconditional and infinite, intimate knowledge.
I am already making dietary changes from regular brewed coffee ( I love it!) to espresso or tea. I need to find a tasty decaf coffee at the store. From regular tea to decaf only. (What do I do with those Starbucks dollars in my account? I can hear my husband saying he will use them to buy desserts or sandwiches there!)
You know your own weakness, be it not enough exercise or too much caffeine and/or sugar. Are you giving enough thought to your own self-care in all aspects of your life? I am praying you find a balance for each one. Below is a chart from the Mayo Clinic to help you get started. It does not show the grams of carbs. I won’t get started on that! I left off the part about energy drinks. I do not use them, but they are loaded with caffeine on purpose!
Coffee drinks
Size in oz. (mL)
Caffeine (mg)
Brewed
8 (237)
96
Brewed, decaf
8 (237)
2
Espresso
1 (30)
64
Espresso, decaf
1 (30)
0
Instant
8 (237)
62
Instant, decaf
8 (237)
2
Teas
Size in oz. (mL)
Caffeine (mg)
Brewed black
8 (237)
47
Brewed black, decaf
8 (237)
2
Brewed green
8 (237)
28
Ready-to-drink, bottled
8 (237)
19
Sodas
Size in oz. (mL)
Caffeine (mg)
Citrus (most brands)
8 (237)
0
Cola
8 (237)
22
Root beer (most brands)
8 (237)
0
Embrace the gift of today with open communication with the Lord, a clean slate, sins recognized and forgiven, moving on in the present with the Presence and into a bright future.
If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord; so then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s. Romans 15:8 NRSVU
During a church discussion this theme arose without the poem below being read. Bob and I had not yet watched the movie in reference.
One woman mentioned how the movie Moana in 2016 was a guide to her when in a distressful situation, again I was convicted with the certainty that God will use anything to help and guide us. I spoke of the power of Radical Acceptance, a book by a Buddhist psychologist. When I read portions of the book later in the week and this poem, the pieces fell into place.
This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
Radical acceptance, can mean entertaining unexpected visitors. Rumi says I am to meet them at the door laughing and invite them in. Things happen to all of us that are unforeseen and can knock us out of our orbit. Do we resist like a stubborn donkey? or yield to the reality of what is and move forward? I cannot say I am able to meet the unexpected at the door and laughing, let them in. But I will learn to with God’s help!
At this website https://fivefortheroad.com/lessons-learned-disneys-moana/She writes the theme of Moana is self discovery and finding your way. She goes on to say family is so important, it’s okay to fail, follow your heart, and be brave.
I would add that whoever or whatever shows up at your door, do as Rumi says and entertain them all! Find your way through any upheaval with the help of the Lord. He is a Good Shepherd and knows every situation before we do, and He is not surprised or taken aback by anything.
Unlike me, I have an unruffled Father!
“In returning and rest I am saved, in quietness and trust will be my strength.” Isaiah 30:15a adapted. Keep still.
Is there a Psalm that claims your heart above others? I first took this Psalm to heart in about 1967. I had by then joined the Episcopal church. There are many lines that I could eventually relate to. Coming to know the Lord as my light, a light upon my path was wonderful. As you likely know the teenage years are tumultuous. This Psalm helped anchor me. Plus my family was headed for shipwreck, though early in the year we did not realize that.
The Lord is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid?
2 When the wicked advance against me to devour me, it is my enemies and my foes who will stumble and fall. 3 Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident.
4 One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple. 5 For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock.
6 Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the Lord.
7 Hear my voice when I call, Lord; be merciful to me and answer me. 8 My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face, Lord, I will seek. 9 Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, God my Savior. 10 Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. 11 Teach me your way, Lord; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. 12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, spouting malicious accusations.
13 I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. 14 Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.
Salvation is being preserved from danger, loss or harm. There are so many themes and images in this Psalm. Whew! How to narrow it down to my story. My father had died about 6 years earlier. My mother had remarried. My sister and I had no memory of this man from earlier in our life. He had values very different from the ones we had been raised with thus far. Within a few years my sister was in deep trouble. I sought counseling at Family Services because I was clueless how to negotiate the troubles. Eventually the family had a blow up. I ended up in Juvenile Court where the counselor and the judge decided what to do with me. My mother and step-father concocted a story about my sister and me beating our mom and trying to steal her car to run away. It was ridiculous. My mother had a condition called Purpura. If anyone squeezed her arm too hard she would bruise. They presented the court with photos of her arms. We had never laid a hand upon her. Ever. I was literally caught in the mess. The judge decided against my parents and I was made a ward of the court for the few months remaining until I turned 18. The counselor told me I won. It did not feel like winning.
Yes, my mother and stepfather did forsake me. I went to live with the family of a friend until my classes at the University of Cincinnati began. My tuition, room and board had already been paid for the first year. When I eventually moved to the university housing, I left the church but took Jesus with me. I could not reconcile the experience I was living with what seemed like the hunky-dory life for the parishioners. It was many years before I realized that each of us is broken. Some just hide it better than others.
Now, 58 years later, I understand the Psalm and broken people better than I did at that young age. I also know that the Lord took me to His heart when my parents forsook me. We have remained close ever since. Cling to the LORD in all situations!
The collects gather together timely thoughts and Scriptures throughout the church year. Sadly the Prayer Book does not give the Scripture references, but then it would likely run to many volumes.
The first Sunday in Advent we prayed the following prayer:
Almighty God, give us grace to cast away the works of darkness, and put on the armor of light, now in the time of this mortal life in which your Son Jesus Christ came to visit us in great humility; that in the last day, when he shall come again in his glorious majesty to judge both the living and the dead, we may rise to the life immortal; through him who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.Book of Common Prayer Page 211
I thought it would be interesting to compare it with the prayer (or collect) from Christmas Eve! We are encouraged to pay attention to the collects, not just hear them once in a Sunday service.
O God, you have caused this holy night to shine with the brightness of the true Light: Grant that we, who have known the mystery of that Light on earth, may also enjoy him perfectly in heaven; where with you and the Holy Spirit he lives and reigns, one God, in glory everlasting. Amen.Book of Common Prayer Page 212
Both prayers put emphasis on Light and that is so wonderful in this season of fewer hours of sunlight. God gives us grace to CAST AWAY the works of darkness and God causes the brightness of the true Light to shine. God gives us the armor of light and power to put it on.
We thank God that He has made known to us the MYSTERY of that LIGHT on earth. Even as we lit the Advent candles and brightened our homes with decorations and perhaps candle light we acknowledge His blessings of light and power over the works of darkness.
Have you put away all of your holiday decorations? Usually the last of the decorations come down about now. In the church calendar, Epiphany (January 6 this year) commemorates the visit of the Magi, the baptism of Jesus, and the wedding at Cana. So many things to celebrate and at times they get wrapped into one big day!
The first prayer acknowledges that Jesus came to visit us in great humility and we too are to walk in humility.
Give us grace to Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness; rather, expose them. Ephesians 5:11 NRSVUE
Give us strength to Put on the whole armor of God, so that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil Ephesians 6: 11 NRSVUE
We are to know the mystery of His light here on earth. We look forward to the last day when He shall come in His glorious majesty.
Just an old woman’s random thoughts about our wonderful Father and His plans for our good. Isaiah wrote He is named Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Whatever title you use to refer to this majestic God remember what it says in James 4:8a Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.
If I do not keep a steady glucose reading through the night, the Continuous Glucose Monitor wakes us up with an alarm if my glucose drops too low. Doc says low glucose is more detrimental than high glucose if not addressed.
Did I tell you I have found an 85% successful method to keep my glucose steady through the night? I eat an under-ripe banana, smeared with reconstituted powdered peanut butter. On occasion I even top it with Breyer’s frozen dessert which has very low carbs. The photo below sort of describes how I am feeling after many months of doing this!
My bananas look beat up like her head after being the fridge!
When I have no appetite I tell myself this is just part of my medication routine. Eat the banana and be glad. So with the Minions I cry, “BANANA!!”
Thank you, Lord, for under ripe bananas to treat this disease. It sure beats another needle!
Page 832 of the Book of Common Prayer has the prayer #59 For Quiet Confidence.
O God of peace, who hast taught us that in returning and rest we shall be saved, in quietness and confidence shall be our strength: By the might of thy Spirit lift us, we pray thee, to thy presence, where we may be still and know that thou art God; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
When we visited the National Cathedral I was delighted to find a small plaque on the wall with this very prayer on it. The photo of that plaque hung on my wall for many years.
Many, many years ago I chose Isaiah 30:15 as my ‘life verse.’ It reads:
For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength. But you refused NRSVUE
I have returned to the prayer and verse countless times over the years. I am always stung by the last phrase, “But you refused” or “But you would not.” Oh Lord deliver me from being one who refuses.
There truly is strength in practicing this verse in your daily life. Here are a few ways. Returning and rest, quietness and trust. That hushes my speculations. Calms my rushing about. (maiden name was Rush!) There are so many applications. Try pondering this prayer and verse for 7 days. See what impact it has upon you! I often print things like this and carry them in my pocket throughout the day.
By the might of Your Spirit, LIFT US WE PRAY, to Your Presence where we maybe still and KNOW that you are God.
My humanity is bound up in yours, for we can only be human together. Desmond Tutu
Isn’t that an interesting thought? Along with there is no we and them, just all human beings.
I pray you have calm and merry holiday preparations. Stay in touch with the humanity of others! Celebrate the coming of Christ both as a child and His return in glory!
“As I open my front door, remind me that I follow in the footsteps of others who have kept their eyes fixed on you.” From a Walk in My Neighborhood, Every Moment Holy Volume 3 Oh Lord, help me, help me keep my eyes fixed on You!
Rumi wrote, “There a thousand ways to kiss the earth.” How do you bow before the Majesty born to us? So many this to give thanks and praise for.
I cannot hear this song too often. I first heard it on a Christmas CD that Christ Tomlin recorded a few years ago. This year my heart just sings it again and again. No, I have not mastered the lyrics, but I made certain to find a recording that supplied them for you. Enjoy as you worship!
Written by Chris Tomlin, Jonas Myrin, Matthew James Redman
Once a woman came to our home. When she saw Bob’s copy of “Zen and the Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance” on the shelf she was immediately suspicious. The narrowness of her Christian belief system stunned me. As if Christ cannot handle other ways of thinking? I don’t know. I was just stunned. Good thing she never saw this title on the same bookcase! “Without Buddha I Could Not Be A Christian.”
Below is a talk by the theologian Doctor Paul Knitter given at the Faith and Life lecture series the Baldwin Wallace University located in Berea, Ohio just 12 miles from Cleveland. Paul was ordained in Rome in 1966, married in 1982 and taught undergraduates at the Xavier University for some 30 years.
I heard Paul Knitter speak at an Associates Retreat at the Convent of the Transfiguration. I bought his book. Wish I had put the purchase date in the front. Oh well. I recently pulled it off the shelf again as The Book of Joy reminded me that he is where I learned to use a Buddhist bucket in my Christian well. That refers to learning the power and importance of silence in my journey with the Trinity.
On Page 153 of his book, Dr. Knitter says “We need an additional Sacrament, the Sacrament of Silence. I believe we Christians need to receive this Sacrament regularly and frequently, as frequently as every day. (Fortunately, it’s a self-administered sacrament, so we don’t have to go to church.)
Page 154: To pick up the analogy used earlier in this chapter, Buddhism offers Christians a bucket that can draw up the mystical depths of the Cristian well. It provides a help, for some a decisive help, to realize and enter in the non-dualistic, or unitive, heart of Christian experience – a way to be one with the Father, to live Christ’s life, to be not just a container of the Spirit but an embodiment and expression of the Spirits, to live by and with and in the Spirit, to live and move and have our being in God.So I’m proposing a Buddhist means to a Christian end – Buddhist tools for a Christian project. Without Buddha I Could Not Be A Christian
I am going to stop copying the text now. I want you to give this some thought. I know this may be a lot to take in. I encourage you though to keep reading. Wouldn’t you like to find a means to deepen your ability to fulfill oneness with Christ? When I am in a retail place and they ask, “May I help you ma’am?” I always reply, “I need all the help I can get!” None of the things I have adapted into my prayer life from Buddhism have made me less of a Christ follower. I agree with Knitter, that learning about silence and stillness has made me better at following the Holy Spirit and walking with Christ. How do you accomplish stillness and silence?
The Sovereign Lord has given me a well-instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being instructed. 5 The Sovereign Lord has opened my ears; I have not been rebellious, I have not turned away. Isaiah 50:4-5 NIV
I learned years ago I cannot open my own ears. At times I can barely yield myself to listening for the still, small voice of God! But God is my help and strength (Psalm 28). God shows me the way. When the chatter in my head proves daunting, I can choose to go to the Sacrament of Silence. I gently return again and again as often as it takes for 15 minutes. At times, I practice Psalm 131.
My heart is not proud, Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. 2 But I have calmed and quietened myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content.
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10
Are you familiar with the three images in Old Testament about God: wind, fire and earthquake.
In 1 Kings 19 Elijah was exhausted and afraid of the threats of Jezebel and had fled to the wilderness. Eventually, after an angel had fed him twice, he traveled forty days and nights into the wilderness of Mt Horeb. He slept in a cave and then the LORD God came to Him and told him to go outside, as follows,
He said, ‘Go out and stand on the mountain before the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.’ Now there was a great wind, so strong that it was splitting mountains and breaking rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; 12 and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of sheer silence. 13 When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. Then there came a voice to him that said, ‘What are you doing here, Elijah?’ 1 Kings 19:11-13
There have been many songs written about this incident and how the LORD calls us to listen to His still, small voice. The one below was written by and sung by Audrey Assad. Lyrics below are slightly different from recording, but you will get the idea. Recorded and released on a Chris Tomlin Christmas CD entitled Abide. Snow is unusual in Bethlehem, but not unheard of. We have had a few light snows in our area lately. This song always returns me to listening for that still small voice in my heart.
Could’ve come like a mighty storm With all the strength of a hurricane You could’ve come like a forest fire With the power of heaven in your flame
[Chorus] But you came like a winter snow Quiet and soft and slow Falling from the sky in the night To the earth below
[Bridge] Ooh no, your voice wasn’t in a bush burning No, your voice wasn’t in a rushing wind It was still, it was small, it was hidden
[Chorus] You came like a winter snow Quiet and soft and slow Falling from the sky in the night To the earth below
[Outro] Falling, oh yeah, to the earth below You came falling from the sky in the night To the earth below
Listen for that tender voice as we celebrate Advent and await His coming again.
My mind is a-whirl with things to cook, gifts to buy, gifts to make in preparation for our celebration of the birthday of our King. I do not think this is His highest and best for me. Emmanuel calls me to walk and talk with the Trinity Majesty even as Christmas approaches! People ask me, “How are you?” I reply, “Too busy for my own good!” Just like some folks say they are too busy to pray, wise men say they are too busy NOT to pray.
Mindfulness is helping me to tame these thoughts. It is not easy to sit and try to just breathe and be here now. Not easy, but so worthwhile. The most important thing for me this year is to remember Whose birthday is it. Lay stuff aside and just rest in our Risen Christ.
Bob and I both had a lousy night last night. So though I practiced mindfulness meditation yesterday and this morning, I need to sign off for a nap. Here is our story: We both had just gotten to sleep when the power went out and then his oxygen machine began beeping when it came back on. That woke me too. About 10 minutes later it went off again and this time did not come back on. We both used the bathroom. The dog was asking, “What is going on?” We got back in bed. Bob was restless with pain and I was not much better off. Finally, I fell asleep and then an hour later my continuous glucose monitor began signaling that my glucose was low. I woke up thinking it was his alarm and he was saying, “That one is yours!” Grrr. With flashlight and iPhone in hand I went to the kitchen. It was raining and windy out. We are not usually effected by weather as our power lines run underground. I ate some things. Drank some milk that was not the freshest tasting. Thought about just sleeping in my recliner. Nope! it is powered by electricity and his chair is not comfortable. About then I decided I better get back in bed before I froze. As I was turning off the flashlight, the power came back on. Ugh! All the timers on coffee pot and Christmas decoration would have to be re-set. I finally read some more on my iPad and went to asleep. I awoke at 4AM drenched in sweat. Threw off some covers and did not awake again until 5:30 or so? Bob was still asleep. I dozed off and the next thing I knew it was time to get up. Ugh. I am tired.
So I hope you can see the benefits of mindfulness, even though it cannot keep you from nights like our lousy one.
Oops! Artist spelled couple wrong. It’s not like I ever post a misspelling! She is showing areas where mindfulness can help us.
Treasures in Plain Sight, A Christian Blog 