Ouch. This date and June 14th both bring me pangs of anguish. My Dad died on November 14, 1961. My mom died June 14, 1975. If my Dad was alive today he would be 109 years old. I do not wish that on anyone. That said, I have a friend who is in her 90s. Should she die this week I must say I would miss her dearly.
I never knew Paul Arthur Rush as anyone other than Daddy. I had just turned eleven years old when he died in our apartment. I was angry with him that morning when I left for school, (no idea over what now). I do remember that I refused to kiss him good bye. Little did I know he would be dead before I returned to the house from my after school dental appointment. My mother was supposed to pick me up. During my appointment I cried out. The dentist had to stop and let me calm down. I think that was just about the moment my Dad died. What a mess.
When the dental office secretary unexpectedly drove me home (due to the chaos in our house), I entered a place where my life was changed forever. Why am I telling you all of this?
We do not know what the next hour of our life will bring to us or to those whom we love. John Wesley is credited with the quote below, but it is cited from the 1790s to the 1900s in various publications as being written by various people. I think we can all agree it sums up wisdom indeed.
Do all the good you can, By all the means you can, In all the ways you can, In all the places you can, At all the times you can, To all the people you can, As long as ever you can.
On the morning of November 14, 1961 I had no idea how much that saying would impact me later in life. Yes, I wish I had kissed my Dad good-bye that morning. He suffered many years from repeated heart attacks and his heart disease is what finally killed him. For many years I was sorry for my inaction when I departed for school. I know I am forgiven.
I am grateful to my Dad in so many ways. They say he had a great sense of humor. I suppose that is where I got mine? I remember setting his hair in pin curls. For years I had totally straight hair. In my older age it is growing in wavy. His was wavy and I always envied that! After he died I would walk in a room and relatives would gasp and say, “Oh! It is Paul Rush.” So I guess I look more like him than I do my mom.
When I was diagnosed with diabetes I asked how that could be? “There is no history of that in my family.” The doctor told me that when my dad died from heart disease he likely was diabetic. There was no standard testing for diabetes at the time. His heart disease was likely due to his diabetes. (Not to mention the smoking, and drinking, etc.)
I will tell you that losing him set me on a quest to replace him. I found that no one could. However, that was the time when I did turn my heart and soul to the Lord God Almighty. I have found Him to be a most faithful Father Who will never leave me or forsake me.
So never miss a chance to tell someone that you love them. Seek most of all to know the heavenly Father.
My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face, Lord, I will seek. 9 Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, God my Savior. 10 Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. 11 Teach me your way, Lord; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. 12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, spouting malicious accusations.
13 I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. 14 Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:8-14 NIV
My Uncle made me pose the morning of Daddy’s funeral. I did not want to smile.
There are nations in the world where people risk their lives to place their vote. Not so, America. I am always amazed that so few registered. Of the eligible, millions stayed home. What?!? I have never been a statistics person, or even a numbers person, but these numbers leave me flabbergasted, (to be overcome with astonishment).
Please, vote. It is not only your right, but your privilege, too. The election workers in Ohio put in a very long, hard day to sign you in, get you to the right precinct, give you your ballot and make certain it is counted. The least you could do is to actually show up at the polls! Please.
I am delighted that this election cycle is almost at an end. The TV ads are mostly discouraging and I cannot wait for them to end. May God lead us in our selection from among the candidates in every office in every state.
From King David, who invited us to come before God with songs of praise, to the harmonious choirs that fill Catholic churches today, singing is a profound way of connecting with the Divine. “When we sing, we experience God’s presence in a new way,” as Pope St. John Paul II beautifully articulated.
While the exact phrasing, “He who sings prays twice,” is not found in Augustine’s texts, the quote is traditionally said to come from his teachings on love and worship. Augustine indeed recognized the profound connection between singing and a heightened form of prayer, noting that “he who sings praise, not only praises, but also loves Him whom he is singing about/to/for.” https://ucatholic.com/blog/saint-augustine-said-if-you-do-this-its-like-praying-twice/
“So what,” you may ask, adding, “I am not Catholic!” Okay, but do you sing? I did not ask if you sing well, just do you? The Word says to make a joyful noise unto the Lord. Psalm 100:1 KJV
My heart, O God, is steadfast; I will sing and make music with all my soul. 2 Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn.0 3 I will praise you, Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples. 4 For great is your love, higher than the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies. 5 Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; let your glory be over all the earth. Psalm 108:1-15 NIV
There are times when I am amazed that even if I am in a situation where things are sad and obviously beyond my control, I can lift my voice to the Lord and sing, coming to a place of peace and even joy in the midst of all that.
You might want to try to sing your prayers once and see how it goes.
When we endlessly ruminate over distant times, we miss extraordinary things in the present moment. These extraordinary things are, in actual fact, all we have: the here and now. Katherine May
Have you done this? Found yourself wandering in the past or future and missing the obvious present? The horse is similar in that it can be distracted by surroundings, spooked by things it does not understand, stressed by unfamiliar sights, and its eyes can be injured. Often, the owners or trainers put blinders or blinkers on a horse.
“The idea of blinders is to reduce the horse’s vision in a way that keeps them relaxed and paying attention to what they need to pay attention to.” online source
Lately I have been praying that the Lord will help me keep my eyes fixed on the Trinity. The stresses of family, politics, current events have the tendency to distract and upset me. In order to serve my Lord well, I must keep my eyes on His goals for me. The here and now is where God wants me. My eyes fixed on the transcendent eternal holiness of this Majestic Presence who cares so much for me.
Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before Him He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:1b-3
Throw off the things that hinder this. Cast aside the sin that so easily entangles. Run with perseverance the journey laid out before us. FIXING our eyes on Jesus. No matter how you do that, just do it! The perfecter and pioneer of our faith, He lived out his life, even with the suffering, for the JOY set before Him. He endured the cross, scorned shame, completed His task and sat down with the Father. Consider Him..again and again … consider Him. Do not get distracted. And if you do get distracted, do what Brother Lawrence taught. Return to Him who loves you best and start again. Left to myself, Lord, I am will always wander and sin. Keep me at Your side and with my eyes FIXED on You.
My latest travel off the path laid before me was remedied first by recognition and then by confession. I used one of my Christian music playlists, until finally my heart began to let go of the distractions and sing to Christ, my Savior. When I awoke the next morning I had to begin again to make the Living God my focus and not be led astray by thoughts that distract me.
“The serenity, the courage and the wisdom,” as the Serenity prayer teaches. The serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. I am responsible for where my attention goes and how long it stays there. There is so much choice in our lives and we rarely take responsibility for our own thoughts and actions. Yet we must if we are to be faithful disciples. In the letter to the Corinthians Paul wrote, “This light and momentary affliction is producing …
17 For our slight, momentary affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure, 18 because we look not at what can be seen but at what cannot be seen, for what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4: 17-18 NRSV
The New King James says it is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory..
I do not like to think that distraction, my tendency to think of the past or far into the future, are working for me. When I become aware of it, it does teach me that I must be vigilant about where I let my thoughts wander. Yes, it is up to me. The Holy Spirit will assist me, but the weakness is mine, all mine, and made stronger by the spiritual forces against me. Yes, we must choose the Way of Christ, over and over again: to love the Lord our God with all of our heart, all of our mind, all of our strength. We must resist the forces of darkness that want to extinguish the Light of Christ within us. Good news: the Word says the darkness cannot put it out!
Just as I talk with you, the readers, prayer is relationship. There are times when you comment on this blog and that thrills me. That is relationship in action. You certainly have relationships with others who have eloquent language skills and yet you relate to them just fine. Prayer is relationship. Or perhaps you have another friend who usually mispronounces, uses slang and colloquial sayings, yet you get along together just fine. Just so, talking with God is prayer. Your communication establishes relationship.
I have been talking with God about what to do with this writing. I think I have a first step understood, and perhaps the second one, also. I am re-reading the blog and pulling out times I mentioned prayer. Then I am going to re-write those selections in preparation for hiring an editor to help me go through them. With God’s help I will eventually publish a book or booklet for the encouragement of others.
I have adapted Basilea Schlink’s prayer when she and her community were praying about expanding their convent:
Lord, I believe I have heard You say I am to go forward with writing about our life together. I believe you will guide and direct me. I believe You will finance this next project. I believe I have Your permission to pursue this. And as each obstacle appears, I seek a reminder for deeper repentance, lest any inward attitude blocks the release of Your blessing.
All praises to our King as He goes before us, behind and within us.
Peace is letting go – returning to the silence that cannot enter the realm of words because it is too pure to be contained in words. by Malidoma Patrice Some
“The silence that cannot enter the realm of words” … what might I write about that? I have been there. I may return there. You must go to that place for yourself. Enough said.
I pray you will choose right after the time you are reading this to slip into that silence and rest in God’s presence. It will not be a waste of your time!
The person I have been concerned about is getting treatment. Much to the delight of those who love that person, several different modalities are being used to approach healing. Pray they find the best medication with the least side effects to promote healing. The quote below is true of my situation the last couple of weeks.
Admitting grief does not diminish us, it strengthens us and makes us more compassionate.
TREBBE JOHNSON
I am doing much better with my own mental health after prayer, listening to an Old Testament story in several versions and taking notes on it. Seeing how this story is also direction from the Father as to how I can move forward. Talking with a compassionate friend has also helped. This has not been an easy 2 weeks, but there is light at the end of the tunnel and it is not a freight train!
May you have the courage to admit your own grief. May you find the strength in that admission. May you be willing to do the work necessary to create a deeper compassion within you.
Harry Chapin wrote and sang a song about Mr. Tanner. He was a dry cleaner and he loved to sing. His friends pressured him to go to New York to have an agent for singers who wanted to advance their careers provide him with a concert venue. The lyrics say, “Music was his life, it was not his livelihood. He did not know how well he sang; it just made him whole.”
The reviews after his concert were not terrific. He never sang again, except late at night when he was alone in the dry cleaning shop. I do not want to become Mr. Tanner. There are interesting videos on YouTube of the actual man who inspired “Mr. Tanner.” His name is Martin Tubridy. There is even a video of the song at a benefit concert for the Harry Chapin foundation where he sings the lines attributed to him. The real-life story is that Martin did not give up his singing career.
A few of my friends have encouraged me to explore publishing my writing. Mostly I feel nudges from the Lord. I have come to the realization that my writing may not ever make it into publication, (no I have not stopped trying). There is a massive work for selection of pieces and re-writing of those pieces that would have to occur. I will most definitely need an editor. (Average pay is $30 an hour.) I am not getting any younger. This writing about my life with Christ keeps me whole. I am so grateful for those who read the blog regularly.
So I continue to ask prayers for guidance from the Lord on how to proceed with all this. As phone calls and appointments interrupt my writing time and life overall intrudes, I will need to carve away dedicated time for the work. The Lord assured me months ago that it would indeed be work.
When I was first diagnosed with fibromyalgia I came across this poem:
There is no box made by God nor us but that the sides can be flattened out and the top blown off to make a dance floor on which to celebrate life. Kenneth Caraway
The poem encouraged me that even though I could barely walk at times, I could still dance with my beloved Lord and celebrate life with Him.
At what point did you give yourself to intimacy and trust with the Lord? I clearly remember (and am regularly reminded) that my moment in adult life was at a church conference. I have no idea now who the speakers were or who did the music. I do recall it was a Vineyard conference held in a hotel. There I had an intense and intimate moment with the Lord Jesus that changed me forever.
I was leaned against a door frame during a break between sessions when I remember clearly hearing the Lord say to me, “Come!” in the same commanding voice that Yul Brenner used in the King and I. No, I was not thinking about that movie or the song, but that is what I heard. I do not mean to imply that by God is as moody as the King in the movie. Just think of this as an invitation to intimacy with the Risen Christ.
Then it seemed as if I was in the arms of Jesus and dancing around the room. Unseen by others, to music unheard by others, yet just as real as the ballroom we were meeting in. Isn’t that just like our relationship with the Living God? Unseen by others and unheard by others yet real and vibrant and alive in every aspect of the word?
There is a movie clip and the lyrics for “Shall We Dance” from Rodgers and Hammerstein. (Evidently this clip has 7 different versions. I imagine you would find once is enough, though it is interesting to see how the different directors and actors play it out!)
Anna: We’ve just been introduced, I do not know you well; But when the music started, Something drew me to your side.
So many men and girls Are in each other’s arms— It made me think we might be Similarly occupied.
Shall we dance? On a bright cloud of music Shall we fly?
Shall we dance? Shall we then say good night And mean goodbye?
Or perchance When the last little star Has left the sky,
Shall we still be together With our arms around each other And shall you be my new romance?
On the clear understanding That this kind of thing can happen, Shall we dance? Shall we dance? Shall we dance?
Shall we dance?
Have you put God in a box? Are you willing to blow off the top, flatten the sides and make a dance floor to meet your God upon? Will you give yourself to this sort of intimacy? How do you respond when the Lord says, “Come!” to you? I pray you will arise and do whatever He asks!
Yes! I have been impacted by these quotes and books. I pray the quotes bring you encouragement as well as food for thought.
The basic idea of being a disciple, in the New Testament, is being with Jesus, learning to be like Him. The disciple {since the resurrection} is someone who is with Jesus, still, learning to be like Him. That’s a status. Disciple is a status; spiritual formation is a process. Renovated by Jim Wilder
Spiritual formation, in the Christian sense, is the process of transformation that occurs to the disciple. Such transformation involves emotional and spiritual maturity. And if we are not disciples, we won’t move forward in that process. You cannot experience spiritual transformation – transformation onto the likeness of Christ – without being a disciple of Christ. Renovated by Jim Wilder
So now you see the seriousness of accepting a form of Christianity that does not involve being a disciple. If a disciple is defined as one who is “learning from Jesus how to lead my life as He would lead my life if He were I,” we have to ask ourselves Is that me? Then we have to answer honestly in terms of what is happening in our life. And then we have to ask Have I chosen that? And if I have chosen it, what am I doing to carry through with it?
All of those questions made me sit back and question my life, my church life, my path forward with the Lord. Won’t you take a moment to examen yourself in light of what Jim Wilder and Dallas Willard teach? I think these questions are of utmost importance for us as we attempt to follow Jesus through this life.
One question they pose reminds me of Ignatian spirituality. “If a disciple is learning from Jesus how to live, what am I learning from Him now? What have I learned from Him in the past? How does that whole progression look? As a disciple, my consciously chosen aim is to learn the life of Jesus, and I am constantly arranging and rearranging my affairs to realize this goal.”
I am an Associate at the Convent of the Transfiguration. The teachings about transformation remind me that Jesus calls me to also be transfigured – my old self for the New Creation He wants to create in me.
These two authors Jim Wilder and Tyler Staton are impacting my thoughts, words and deeds with Gospel truths. May they bring you closer to discipleship, too.
Treasures in Plain Sight, A Christian Blog 