Wherever Your glory be best served, whenever, however; there, then, and in that state let me Your servant be; only hide not from me Your divine love.
Help me to trust You to the uttermost.
Teach me to serve You as You deserve; to give, and not to count the cost; to fight, and not to heed the wounds; to toil, and not to look for rest; to labor, and not to ask for reward save that of knowing that I am doing Your will.
Let nothing dim the light that shines from within., not even physical ailments!
Yes, I added, not even physical ailments. I cannot seem to catch a break. There is always something with this body! I decided to walk at least one mile a day in dedicated exercise time. I got a few blisters. Wrapped my toes with slip on cushions. Got blisters on top of blisters. Double slip on cushion, no improvement. Added a Band-aid over the great toe and the cushioned sleeves over that. No relief. Orthotics? Shoes? Just my feet?
Returned to the foot surgeon because I was clueless. The toe he put a steel plate in a few years ago (with six lovely screws) seems to be rising up again. Arthritis had made that toe begin to stick up in the first place. He went in during surgery, removed the bone, shaved it down, turned it over. Screwed it down with the plate. He showed me on the current x-ray that it cannot rise up as the bone tissue has grown over the plate now. But respecting how it feels to me, he ordered a CT scan of that toe.
October 2019 after surgery
In the meantime a more expert orthotist the surgeon knows is going to rebuild a pair of orthotics for me in an attempt to correct what the other guy did wrong. We will not order new shoes yet, though that might be in my near future. Blisters need to heal.
Grrr – you must understand I have never been athletic. As a fibromyalgia person I know that the best treatment is exercise, but I do not feel better after I exercise so I shun it when possible. Even with this summer heat, I had FINALLY talked myself into doing this walking and now I am told to only wear open-toed shoes while my toes heal. Told to stop reaching for this mile a day goal. To get in a pool, or try an elliptical, ride a bike, i.e., find some other form of exercise besides walking. He warned me that if I do change this I could be seeing him in the future for toe amputations. NO diabetic wants to hear that, although Bob and the doc do joke that it might be easier to just cut off my feet.
Let nothing dim the light – Oh Lord! I need your help. And just to add injury to blisters, etc. I stepped down off a little foot stool and happened to step onto one of my shoes. As I went down I twisted toe #4 and #5 underneath my foot. Was not certain if I broke them or not. Purple and sore. When doc did the routine x-ray of that foot he could not see a fracture. Said there is a possibility there is a hairline one that the x-ray did not show. He wrapped it with brown stretchy tape (there is a name for that) and told me to check the toes when I got home to make certain there was no redness from the wrap. Then wrap them anytime I would be walking. By the time I got home I took that tape off because of throbbing toes! It has not been put on again.
So what does this mean in terms of the Maya Angelou quote? Let NOTHING dim the light.
Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him JOB 13:15a
God has not kept my toes from blistering or my feet from having troubles. Even now, I will trust Him.
As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:36-39 NIV
Nothing can separate me from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. I wrote a prayer likely in 2020 and it still rings true today.
I have determined that this day, each time I am drawn up short by pain, I will praise You for I love You better than life - even better than quality of life.
My mother had in her belongings “A Prayer for Those Growing Old.” One stanza read,
Seal my lips when I am inclined to tell of my aches and pains. They are increasing with the years and my love to speak of them grows sweeter as time goes by.
I write all of this to say if you are struggling with physical ailments try to keep Christ Jesus in mind. He never promised to heal every one of us during this lifetime. However, we are told in the book of Revelation that in the new heaven and new earth glorious things await us! There will be no more death, mourning, crying or pain (NIV). That is such a glorious thought it is almost inconceivable. I for one am willing to cling to those promises. Help me hang on to the end, Jesus.
Stay with each one of us, I pray. Fix our eyes on You and Your word. You promised You would never leave us or abandon us. Even to old age, and gray hair I will praise You and declare Your deeds (Psalm 71). You are worthy of our praise, all honor, glory and dominion. You have taught us there is so much more than just this physical life we know.
The lyric from “Show me Your Face” says I will make it to the end, If I can just see Your face, I know I will make it to the end, If I can just see Your face.
“Wherever Your glory is best served.” St. Ignatius prayer
I have no memory of the doctor or a tech taking me out of the cast. I do not remember any kind of physical therapy. I do remember the doctor talking with my mother about fears that one leg would be shorter than the other.
After the hospital I had anxiety about doctors and needles. My parents could not tell me about a doctor’s appointment the night before as I would get almost hysterical. Eventually I outgrew the fear. Though to this day I have to psych myself up a bit when there is a needle involved in medical treatment.
Years later while on a retreat I learned that the nuns serving at Good Samaritan Hospital were from the Sisters of Charity convent in Delhi. As an adult I thanked them for comforting this child.
About 1954Current day
My legs grew to the same length. Dr. McMath did a grand job caring for me. Sadly, my father died of heart disease when I was eleven years old. There were no treatments for heart disease in 1961. I never knew him as a man, just Daddy.
I never tried Double Dutch jump rope again. In fact, I have never been inclined to athletic activity. Hated gym class in elementary school. The Double Dutch jump rope incident stole all my confidence. My sister and I were most often unsupervised in our play activities. One day we were playing the garage and found my dad’s ladders for painting. I developed a fear of heights after a ladder slid down a wall while I was sitting on it. Landed hard on the concrete floor. Amazing now that I did not break my fingers where I was holding on. No one had ever had a need to teach me then that a ladder must be anchored before being used.
I find it amazing how our childhood experiences shape us as people. I married a kind man who became a medical technologist. This is the person in a hospital laboratory who can draw your blood and test any fluid that you can put out. In the beginning of our marriage, we were once sitting in a movie theater, and he was feeling the vein in my elbow. Freaked me out. He explained the need to practice. I calmed down. Now I am faced with needles daily: lancets, insulin needles, wearing a continuous glucose monitor, monthly drug injections.
After playing with the ladders, I still dislike heights. When we took our children to the CN Tower in Toronto we went to the observation deck. It is 113 floors above the ground and has a glass floor. I was holding on to the wall around the elevator as I walked around the observation deck. The children were laughing at me. As I walked, I came upon a woman crawling on the floor. Guess it could have been worse! Nope. Heights are not my thing!
From childhood trauma to needle fears then married to a Lab man, (They don’t call them blood suckers for nothing!). From Christian educated by the babysitter and dropped off at church to a Christ seeker who became the only Episcopalian in the family of origin. From fear of heights to challenging the fear for the sake of the children and a family vacation memory.
Our childhood impacts us, but not always for the good. Imprints formed during childhood are not washed away by time. Seventy years later they can still affect how I think and feel.
I have been asked to explore some other methods of telling my story besides the blog and poetry. So I have attempted to put a few memories down on paper. This will be a 2 part read since it has many more words than most blog posts ever attempt.
At age three I broke my thigh playing with my sister and her older friends in a neighbor’s driveway. They were doing Double Dutch jump rope where they swing two ropes simultaneously in opposite directions and you jump in on the side of one of the rope turners. (See photo above.) The girls let me try. I broke my leg. Obviously, way too complicated a sport for a 3-year-old. Someone ran to my house and told mom. She came to get me.
We rode to Good Samaritan hospital from Loveland to Clifton in the car. I was in the back seat. I only remember someone lifted me into the back seat. There were no freeways then. No idea how long it took us to get to Good Samaritan. I was taken to that hospital because my Dad was already admitted there with a heart attack.
The hospital doctors decided to put my leg in traction for six weeks to heal. I suppose they numbed my leg or more likely put me to sleep when they set my leg? I have no memory of that. When they put me in traction, I do remember being furious that they put me in diapers. I was so insulted. I was certainly fully potty trained! It was hot and there was no air conditioning. My long dark hair was cut off in a short choppy bob. Below is a photo of me in traction, hair cut short and sweating. Once while I was asleep, the staff brought my meal. When I awoke the milk was no longer cold. I loved cold milk. My mother obtained a glass of ice and poured my milk over it. I was so angry. I had never had milk like that. Could be I was a 3-year-old brat? Or simply confused and frustrated at my new situation.
One day during my stay they rolled my bed into the room where my dad was a patient. It was such an unusual situation for a young child. I do remember he talked with me and our hands touching.
Someone came to visit and brought me a white stuffed dog that I named Casey. He had a metal nose (which at age 73 I still have). His ears seemed to be made from real fur, sort of like a curly tanned hide. The rest of him was a stuffed white dog shape. Someone else brought me Brach’s cream filled Royal caramel rolls in a metal can. To this day I use that can for candy. Once I saw the same can used as a prop in a movie!
I do not remember there being a television in my room. I am certain televisions were not standard equipment in 1954. Certainly, no computer tablet to play upon. I might have tried to color, but lying down that would have been difficult! Hopefully someone read me stories.
After six weeks, my leg was put in a cast. I do remember being alone with the Sisters of Charity when they decided it was time to cast my leg. Somewhere to my side, across the room, there was a sink. Men in white coats came towards me with large white steaming sheets. I had no idea what those were. I was so frightened. Those men began to wrap my leg in the warm plaster preparation. The nuns comforted me. I left that hospital wanting to be a nun. I have no idea where my mother was during the casting. Perhaps she was not allowed in the treatment room? Maybe she was with my dad in the cardiac unit? All I do know is that the nuns (in full habits) comforted me. I went home in the cast.
I left the hospital wanting to be a nun. My parents bought me a Nun doll for Christmas. I have her tiny rosary in my keepsake cabinet. When I chose to be baptized my mother forbid me to become a Roman Catholic. She said my grandfather, a Methodist minister, would roll over in his grave. I eventually joined the Episcopal church. They came closest to what I felt was true worship. Also, as close as you can get to being a Catholic but without the Pope and such strong emphasis on Mary.
Doll sized rosary on tiny altar to remind me to make a of sacrifice of praise to the Lord our God
It must have been difficult for my mom to care for me, especially while my dad recovered from yet another heart attack. I do know we had a babysitter named Myrtle. Towards the end of her life, she wanted to see my sister and me one more time. She visited us because she was dying of cancer. She gave my sister and me a tiny white New Testament and signed it “Love, Myrt and Gerald.” My first and at times best New Testament! I still have it and use it occasionally.
I have no memory of the doctor or a tech taking me out of the cast. I do not remember any kind of physical therapy. I do remember the doctor talking with my mother about fears that one leg would be shorter than the other.
no Brown Cow here. Just wanted to let you know that even some of my posts seem full of bitching and moaning, yet over all I do fairly well on any given day. Yes, pain and fatigue are my constant companions, but by the grace of God I make it through each day!
When we were in the Smoky Mountains we took a trail that required walking five miles one day and that was before noon!
The next day my body was not pleased with the after-pain, but I told myself, “Okay! You did that and did not die. When you get home you must begin walking more REGULARLY.”
June 10 at home I made .7 miles outdoors
And so I have. In spite of the recently brutal heat and humidity (even humid at 8AM) I am trying daily to take at least a one mile walk. Then tack on to that the other steps I take during the day, either walking the dog or going to the grocery and I am doing a reasonable number of steps. This morning I walked 1-1/2 miles in the morning. Yikes.
July 8 I did 1.54 miles and counting!
The only bad news is my toes are blistering. A marathon runner told me to use as much vasoline as I could under my socks. Well, that doesn’t work too well with band-aids. Today I set off with band-aids and silicone pads on some toes, then socks and shoes. Growing old is NOT for sissies! But being sedentary does not let a senior citizen live as long as if she were moving about!! Great for the diabetes, also.
Nothing gets me going as much as upbeat music, or daily morning prayer recording, or sermons from Harlem Renaissance church, any number of things to build up my soul along with my body and not necessarily in that order. Sometimes Lectio 360 comes first.
As that one gym shoe company declares, “Just do it!” swish
Widespread pain. The pain associated with fibromyalgia often is described as a constant dull ache that has lasted for at least three months. To be considered widespread, the pain must occur on both sides of your body and above and below your waist.
Fatigue. People with fibromyalgia often awaken tired, even though they report sleeping for long periods of time. Sleep is often disrupted by pain, and many patients with fibromyalgia have other sleep disorders, such as restless legs syndrome and sleep apnea.
Cognitive difficulties. A symptom commonly referred to as “fibro fog” impairs the ability to focus, pay attention and concentrate on mental tasks.
Yep my pillars are pain and fatigue. A pillar is a slender, freestanding, vertical support; a column. I am not thinking a pillar of cloud by day or of fire by night. I am thinking the constant in my daily life, day or night. My pillars are not decorative such as the ones below.
One morning I wrote “I wake up in pain. Two fingers numb. Shoulder so stiff. Hip has not spoken up yet. This gets so old, tiresome, ridiculous. I choose to praise You, even when the pain is present. I love you better than life, even quality of life.”
Surgery was supposed to relieve the shoulder pain and return full function to my right shoulder. Surgery has the result of almost constant pain. If I do the stretches it is supposed to be fine by September of this year. Lord, I cry to You. Please come to me and help me in my distress.
I remember the lyrics from the Vineyard O Jesus Mine
O Jesus mine, O Jesus mine You’ve filled us with a love divine Our hearts have found no resting place but Thee, O Jesus, Jesus, Jesus mine.
I always thought I heard(Our hearts have found a resting place IN TIME)
The Celtic Prayer Book stated God has made us capable of life with Him and thus we are ever lonely and insatiable.
What occurs in private with Him is rarely seen in the open. What some admire about a Christian’s life they also have no idea how it actually came about. There is longing and at times anguish in His presence, which is often only seen after its transfiguration. Only God can transfigure longing and anguish.
Lord, make me aware of Your presence with me, even in the morning pain and afternoon/evening hip pain. Help me adapt and cope I pray.
In A Sunlit Absence by Martin Laird P. 123 He writes “The pathless path of prayer knows only how to move through struggle; and the only way through is through – not around, over, under or alongside, but through.” Struggle – with chronic fatigue and pain, not knowing how to fulfill the call to create something else with the writing, how to ….
Moving through struggle with pain and fatigue is not easy to accomplish day after day, hour after hour. Yet millions of people do it daily, hourly, weekly, monthly year after year.
Perhaps my sharing is all too transparent for those of you who do not have physical struggles? For the rest of us I hope this is read as a means of helping you understand some of the ways I get through these times. I know full well that God is no respecter of persons and ways He has touched me He can touch you with also. (Acts 10:34)
In this chapter of Laird’s book he is describing how a woman learned to struggle beyond her depression. He wrote
The fourteenth-century anonymous English author of The Cloud of Unknowing suggests that instead of pushing away or clinging to thoughts and images that appear in our awareness, whether distracting or attracting, we should simply “look over their shoulder.” This ingeniously playful advice requires a serious and cultivated inner awareness. …We have to meet distractions with stillness instead of commentary. This implies not only do we allow distractions to be present but we also allow them to help us steady our gaze as we “look over their shoulders, as it were, searching for something else.”
This flowing vastness of simple awareness, what St. Hesychios calls ‘the sun rising in the heart,’ is untouched by depression just as it is untouched by time, by age, by pain, fear, anger or greed, or by anything else – though simple awareness is never separate from any of these any more than a spoke of a wheel is separated from its hub. The spoke is not the hub, yet the hub centers all the spokes.
Laird goes on to teach that although this is harder to do than to write about, there comes about a stillness that is from the simple awareness. We are to gaze into that stillness.
Yes, I have the constant pillars of pain and fatigue in my life. They do not, however, need to be the constant focus of my attention. Though I may feel ground to powder, I can look over the shoulders of those two life ingredients and find the vastness of simple awareness. Awareness that ‘there is always something to be thankful for!” When I am especially having difficulty it can be helpful to allow myself some self-pity, but only for about 5 minutes. Beyond that is NOT helpful. Sitting in silence, not trying to add words to the situation, but observe it, allow it and to look ‘over its shoulders’ that is most helpful to me. I do not always accomplish this, do not pull it off every single time. But the sooner I return to this practice the better off I am.
Just as the deer walks the forest in the same pattern regularly, yet does not wear a path like humans seem to, we are called to follow this ‘pathless path of prayer.’ The photo in the opening reminds me of this.
The stillness that come from simple awareness. Certainly a pearl of great price to seek after.
“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. 46 When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it. Matthew 13:45-46
May your heart rest in this Jesus, a simple awareness of the goodness of life, regardless of your struggle.
Sitting in my prayer chair, waking up the morning of May 31st, I heard this:
Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. Isaiah 46:4 NIV
The Message of the same verse reads:
“Listen to me, family of Jacob, everyone that’s left of the family of Israel. I’ve been carrying you on my back from the day you were born, And I’ll keep on carrying you when you’re old. I’ll be there, bearing you when you’re old and gray. I’ve done it and will keep on doing it, carrying you on my back, saving you.”
Brings to mind the image of refugees or flood victims fleeing and carrying old people on their backs. Proud Americans do not like to think this image is about them, yet we all need God to carry us, regardless of age.
Listening to Lectio 360 the same day they related a story about a man whose wife battled chronic illness for 20 years. People WANT someone to blame. Many years ago when I sought prayer for strength and courage to cope with my chronic illness a “charismatic” preacher said to me, “I thought you knew better than that,” as if I should never be ill. Shame is not helpful in those situations! God TOLD me He would be with me in the fibromyalgia.
Should I push God aside and shout, “but You have to heal me! You promised if I did such and so I would be healed.” We tend to see others who have physical afflictions as if they are less than ourselves, as if they are responsible for the failing of their body. What a crock of hooey! Those of us who suffer need the courage of the Lion of Judah, the strength of the Risen Christ to help in times of need.
Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16 NRSV
Even Bob was struck in Lectio by the story of the woman with chronic illness. He wanted to be certain I listened on that day, and I had. The story is like what I was told … there is unresolved anger in your past, that is why you are ill. Let us just pray over you …sleep on a bed of magnets to be healed …drink this particular juice made from an exotic fruit … its all in your head. (Yep! those are actual things I was told!)
And to the remark about it all being in my head I replied, “Yes, in my head, my elbows, shoulders, hips. You name it I hurt there or I did last week or will next week.”
Fibro caused me to live in a high state of denial. That same logic does not work with diabetes. I AM angry at having diabetes, but I understand some of the disease in under my control, though there are many factors that are not. The Continuous Glucose Monitor no longer lets me live in that state of denial regarding diabetes. I must confess I am shocked at the effect certain foods have upon me. I must limit or eliminate those from my consumption.
In my nick knack collection I have a tiny brass chair that used to be in the windowsill. It reminds me that Christ is in our midst, ‘the unseen guest at every meal’. In the photo below it fell forward in the glass fronted case. At first I wondered how long it had been like that? Then I wondered if I could right it without dropping it behind the bookcase that rests below the display? Then I rejoiced that AGAIN the Lord has gotten my attention. I set a place for Him at the table of my life.
Lord God, Ruler of the Universe, give me eyes to see and ears to hear that I might proclaim Your glory.
New Month and at the end we will be halfway through 2024. How did that happen?
The epidural I had did not take away the pain in my back/hip. The pain specialist decided I will benefit from a “Medial Branch Block.” Medicare requires two trial injections first. So I will go in this month and have the first injection. He says we should be able to tell immediately if it is effective. Then I return for a followup visit. They will then schedule the second trial. If that also works, I will get an injection that basically will burn the nerve that goes to that hip. It is not supposed to impair anything else. Relief can last 6-9 months? When the nerve grows back he can administer the burning of the nerve repeatedly without the trial injections. That is good news to me. I was plenty discouraged when the pain was there after the previous injection.
And more good new! Baby Francesca got he new heart and should be headed home soon. Lucky dog has responded well to first injection of arthritis medication. She has now had her second and things are looking good for her!
This month I also get to make another 6 day retreat with a spiritual director. I am so looking forward to that! Last year I learned so much about myself and my direction. This year my quest is similar.
I am seeking what the Lord would want me to do with all this writing. I believe I am to take selections from the blog and rework them, perhaps for a booklet? I will remove YouTube links and multiple photos. Trying to get at the gist of what I am saying … Words fail me to tell you more.
Suffice it to say if you have favorites among what you have read on this blog I would love to hear from you what that selection is. You can refer to the date or title. I am fairly certain I can locate with just that info. It is very hard to re-read what I have written and choose a few favorites for myself. I have 3 local people looking through the printouts and marking them with post-its. Rewriting will take a lot of work, but I don’t mind writing work. Just trying to find where I go, what I do from here.
Thanks for your help!
I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. Psalm 16:7 NIV
Praise the Lord, all his works everywhere in his dominion.
Things that used to be a breeze are now So Very Difficult Routines of self-care take longer and longer. Maybe complicated is a better descriptor?
Not enough to brush my teeth (what few teeth remain). And use the expensive toothpaste the hygienist insists upon. Now there must be floss, rubbery pick, fluoride toothpaste AND DON’T RINSE!
Take bedtime medications, but remember to do it before caring for the teeth because I AM NOT TO RINSE AFTERWARDS. Don’t forget the Tylenol and the other over the counter pill that aids with sleep. Inject the right units of insulin.
Use the fluoride rinse if you can fit it in. Perhaps do that after I eat breakfast? Use that rubbery pick thing after every meal. Last night after dinner I used it while watching TV. Then I noticed that some of the green bristles were missing. WAIT a minute!! Aren’t we supposed to be careful NOT to ingest plastic? Oi, the drama never ends!
Once a month inject that biologic that crushes the psoriasis. Thank goodness the pharmaceutical company provides it free of cost. Have to mark it on the calendar just like the dog’s tablet for anti-flea medication.
Now I am going to be wearing a continuous glucose monitor. Medicare covers the cost of that thing. The doctor’s office will teach us how to install it. Another insert-able thing, this one in the back of my arm. “Not always the same arm, not always the same place, not in a lump or scar.” Monitor should link to my iPhone to give readouts. If I link it to the reader they sent, I cannot use my iPhone to get the readings. Supposed to help teach me the impact of what I eat by showing me moment to moment what my blood glucose is. Check readout before each meal. If it goes too high I am to inject more insulin. They will have to teach me how much and when. This seems like a lot to manage. I will also need to change the device weekly.
Wait! I was taught to check my glucose 2 hours after eating. I smack my forehead and groan. I confuse easily!
Oh, I am a lot to manage!
Does continuous monitor mean I no longer have to begin the day with a finger stick? Well, at first I have to do both. Crap. I get so tired of needles.
Add to that the stretches as I continue to recover from shoulder surgery. If the plantar fasciitis flares up return to doing those stretches, too.
Oh by gosh, by golly! I feel as old as Santa and a lot less spry. Bob reminds me that I have “better living through modern chemistry.” So I fill the prescription boxes for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and bedtime, 2 weeks worth. I always say a prayer of gratitude that I am able to afford the medications I need.
The iPhone says if I want to add the weather to my watch face that is called a “complication.” Same for the date and time. I suppose I am just a ‘complicated’ woman. Glad to be cared for, even if I complain. I tell God, “I’m trying.” God replies, “Yes, dear, very trying.”
Learning to turn all of this from overwhelming to let God have it. The Trinity is willing and able to direct my steps and help me walk through these things. I name them one by one and ask the Holy One to direct my steps. I relinquish these challenges to You and ask for comfort and wisdom in how to manage all of it.
But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. James 3:17 NLT
Eventually, new things can become routine. Does anyone know how to make certain I take the lunch pills at lunch and don’t forget them?
Writing will likely be sporadic this week. I have to stop taking the prescription for arthritic pain for 4 days. Then on Tuesday I am having a lumbar epidural to try to relieve pain in vertebrae 4, 5 and 6. Or is it 3, 4, and 5. All due to bulging discs.
Regardless what numbers the doctor knows and is skilled. Just think of the most sore place in your body and put a big needle there with steroid medication. Ouch is right. SO grateful I learned LaMaze breathing during 23 hours of labor these many years ago. It really helps with pain during an injection such as this.
Conscious (or patterned) breathing used to be the hallmark of Lamaze childbirth education. For many, it’s still an important way to stay relaxed and on top of their contractions. It’s true that conscious breathing can help you relax and feel less pain during contractions. There’s no “right” way to breathe in labor, despite what others may tell you. Slow, deep breathing helps to manage the pain of contractions. But the right way for you to breathe is whatever feels right to you. Issues like your number of breaths per minute, breathing through your nose or your mouth, or making sounds (like hee-hee) with your breaths are only important if they make a difference for you.
It may help you to have a visual focus to accompany your conscious breathing. You can recall an image with your eyes closed, focus on a picture or special object from home, keep your eyes on your support person or simply stare at a spot on the wall. You may also find that as labor progresses, faster, shallower breathing—like a dog gently panting—feels better. https://www.lamaze.org/lamaze-breathing
I was going to show you a photo of needle they will use but it just creeped me out too much. So if the posts are sporadic this week, just remember to pray for me please: that the injection will do its work, that the doctor and I will both be calm, that the rest after the injection will move me more quickly towards a more pain free life. Thank you.
Treasures in Plain Sight, A Christian Blog 