It moved me to tears. Perhaps in the simplicity? The powerful truth? I pray you are blessed as I was. I have been listening to it repeatedly. Maybe you would benefit from that also?
I will come to you in the silence I will lift you from all your fear You will hear My voice I claim you as My choice Be still, and know I am near
I am hope for all who are hopeless I am eyes for all who long to see In the shadows of the night, I will be your light Come and rest in Me
Do not be afraid, I am with you I have called you each by name Come and follow Me I will bring you home I love you and you are mine
I am strength for all the despairing Healing for the ones who dwell in shame All the blind will see, the lame will all run free And all will know My name
Do not be afraid, I am with you I have called you each by name Come and follow Me I will bring you home I love you and you are mine
I am the Word that leads all to freedom I am the peace the world cannot give I will call your name, embracing all your pain Stand up, now, walk, and live
Do not be afraid, I am with you I have called you each by name Come and follow Me I will bring you home I love you and you are mine
Do not be afraid, I am with you I have called you each by name Come and follow Me I will bring you home I love you and you are mine
Album: You Are Mine/Best of David Haas Vol. 2
Released: 1995
Will you allow the Almighty to love you in this way? If not now, then when? I think these lyrics were truly inspired by God.
In this day and age most of us have heard of the “Serenity Prayer.” I wonder if you have read or prayed the prayer in its entirety as it was originally written?
The Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time, Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, Not as I would have it be,
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will, That I may be reasonably happy in this life, And supremely happy with Him forever in the next. Amen
Makes it different when you read the whole thing, doesn’t it? Thank you Reinhold for your contribution to our faith.
Should you want more information, there is a very long article on Wikipedia about his life, his beliefs and his service as a Pastor and Educator https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinhold_Niebuhr
“… trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will.”
That expresses a truckload of trust. Can you trust that much? Has God proven Himself trustworthy in your life, even if you did not get exactly what you wanted? Have you surrendered at each turn and twist as life unfolds?
“Reasonable happy in this life and SUPREMELY happy with Him forever in the next.”
I say Amen to those sentiments. Serenity, acceptance, courage, wisdom, living, enjoying, accepting, taking, trusting, surrender. Mr. Niebuhr (or is it Pastor, Professor?) presents us with things we can actually DO. Many people accuse Christianity of too many “Thou shalt nots.” These are things you are to do.
I have no memory of the doctor or a tech taking me out of the cast. I do not remember any kind of physical therapy. I do remember the doctor talking with my mother about fears that one leg would be shorter than the other.
After the hospital I had anxiety about doctors and needles. My parents could not tell me about a doctor’s appointment the night before as I would get almost hysterical. Eventually I outgrew the fear. Though to this day I have to psych myself up a bit when there is a needle involved in medical treatment.
Years later while on a retreat I learned that the nuns serving at Good Samaritan Hospital were from the Sisters of Charity convent in Delhi. As an adult I thanked them for comforting this child.
About 1954Current day
My legs grew to the same length. Dr. McMath did a grand job caring for me. Sadly, my father died of heart disease when I was eleven years old. There were no treatments for heart disease in 1961. I never knew him as a man, just Daddy.
I never tried Double Dutch jump rope again. In fact, I have never been inclined to athletic activity. Hated gym class in elementary school. The Double Dutch jump rope incident stole all my confidence. My sister and I were most often unsupervised in our play activities. One day we were playing the garage and found my dad’s ladders for painting. I developed a fear of heights after a ladder slid down a wall while I was sitting on it. Landed hard on the concrete floor. Amazing now that I did not break my fingers where I was holding on. No one had ever had a need to teach me then that a ladder must be anchored before being used.
I find it amazing how our childhood experiences shape us as people. I married a kind man who became a medical technologist. This is the person in a hospital laboratory who can draw your blood and test any fluid that you can put out. In the beginning of our marriage, we were once sitting in a movie theater, and he was feeling the vein in my elbow. Freaked me out. He explained the need to practice. I calmed down. Now I am faced with needles daily: lancets, insulin needles, wearing a continuous glucose monitor, monthly drug injections.
After playing with the ladders, I still dislike heights. When we took our children to the CN Tower in Toronto we went to the observation deck. It is 113 floors above the ground and has a glass floor. I was holding on to the wall around the elevator as I walked around the observation deck. The children were laughing at me. As I walked, I came upon a woman crawling on the floor. Guess it could have been worse! Nope. Heights are not my thing!
From childhood trauma to needle fears then married to a Lab man, (They don’t call them blood suckers for nothing!). From Christian educated by the babysitter and dropped off at church to a Christ seeker who became the only Episcopalian in the family of origin. From fear of heights to challenging the fear for the sake of the children and a family vacation memory.
Our childhood impacts us, but not always for the good. Imprints formed during childhood are not washed away by time. Seventy years later they can still affect how I think and feel.
I have been asked to explore some other methods of telling my story besides the blog and poetry. So I have attempted to put a few memories down on paper. This will be a 2 part read since it has many more words than most blog posts ever attempt.
At age three I broke my thigh playing with my sister and her older friends in a neighbor’s driveway. They were doing Double Dutch jump rope where they swing two ropes simultaneously in opposite directions and you jump in on the side of one of the rope turners. (See photo above.) The girls let me try. I broke my leg. Obviously, way too complicated a sport for a 3-year-old. Someone ran to my house and told mom. She came to get me.
We rode to Good Samaritan hospital from Loveland to Clifton in the car. I was in the back seat. I only remember someone lifted me into the back seat. There were no freeways then. No idea how long it took us to get to Good Samaritan. I was taken to that hospital because my Dad was already admitted there with a heart attack.
The hospital doctors decided to put my leg in traction for six weeks to heal. I suppose they numbed my leg or more likely put me to sleep when they set my leg? I have no memory of that. When they put me in traction, I do remember being furious that they put me in diapers. I was so insulted. I was certainly fully potty trained! It was hot and there was no air conditioning. My long dark hair was cut off in a short choppy bob. Below is a photo of me in traction, hair cut short and sweating. Once while I was asleep, the staff brought my meal. When I awoke the milk was no longer cold. I loved cold milk. My mother obtained a glass of ice and poured my milk over it. I was so angry. I had never had milk like that. Could be I was a 3-year-old brat? Or simply confused and frustrated at my new situation.
One day during my stay they rolled my bed into the room where my dad was a patient. It was such an unusual situation for a young child. I do remember he talked with me and our hands touching.
Someone came to visit and brought me a white stuffed dog that I named Casey. He had a metal nose (which at age 73 I still have). His ears seemed to be made from real fur, sort of like a curly tanned hide. The rest of him was a stuffed white dog shape. Someone else brought me Brach’s cream filled Royal caramel rolls in a metal can. To this day I use that can for candy. Once I saw the same can used as a prop in a movie!
I do not remember there being a television in my room. I am certain televisions were not standard equipment in 1954. Certainly, no computer tablet to play upon. I might have tried to color, but lying down that would have been difficult! Hopefully someone read me stories.
After six weeks, my leg was put in a cast. I do remember being alone with the Sisters of Charity when they decided it was time to cast my leg. Somewhere to my side, across the room, there was a sink. Men in white coats came towards me with large white steaming sheets. I had no idea what those were. I was so frightened. Those men began to wrap my leg in the warm plaster preparation. The nuns comforted me. I left that hospital wanting to be a nun. I have no idea where my mother was during the casting. Perhaps she was not allowed in the treatment room? Maybe she was with my dad in the cardiac unit? All I do know is that the nuns (in full habits) comforted me. I went home in the cast.
I left the hospital wanting to be a nun. My parents bought me a Nun doll for Christmas. I have her tiny rosary in my keepsake cabinet. When I chose to be baptized my mother forbid me to become a Roman Catholic. She said my grandfather, a Methodist minister, would roll over in his grave. I eventually joined the Episcopal church. They came closest to what I felt was true worship. Also, as close as you can get to being a Catholic but without the Pope and such strong emphasis on Mary.
Doll sized rosary on tiny altar to remind me to make a of sacrifice of praise to the Lord our God
It must have been difficult for my mom to care for me, especially while my dad recovered from yet another heart attack. I do know we had a babysitter named Myrtle. Towards the end of her life, she wanted to see my sister and me one more time. She visited us because she was dying of cancer. She gave my sister and me a tiny white New Testament and signed it “Love, Myrt and Gerald.” My first and at times best New Testament! I still have it and use it occasionally.
I have no memory of the doctor or a tech taking me out of the cast. I do not remember any kind of physical therapy. I do remember the doctor talking with my mother about fears that one leg would be shorter than the other.
The human soul doesn’t want to be advised or fixed or saved. It simply wants to be witnessed – to be seen, heard and companioned exactly as it is. Parker Palmer
I might not agree with every word of the above quote, but isn’t it true of each of us? We just “want to be seen, heard and companioned?” Meeting my childhood friend for lunch was just such a blessing. We always manage to pick up right where we left off and we can share with each other and laugh and enjoy the company of the other knowing we are loved and accepted.
The Lord wants to save us and improve our life in every way that comes with salvation. Most of all our Creator is willing to see us, hear us and accompany us in all the paths of our life.
When I ask for advice the Lord is willing to send good counsel to me. Often my mistakes are not fixed but I am shown ways to gain forgiveness and make for change among those I may have injured or hurt.
To know and to be known, what a blessing!
I believe another thing we long for is for those around us to be sincere, trustworthy. Those qualities seem to be more difficult than every to find in this day and age. I am sickened and disgusted by the politicians who say this person is despicable and not trustworthy and in a matter of months change their tune to this person is the greatest ever! I do not want leaders that can change their tune rapidly especially when having power dangled before them as something they, too, might grasp. How are we to believe the claims that smack of insincerity? What ever happened to having principles and standing for them? There is a saying that if you stand for nothing you will fall for anything. So true.
I either need to stop watching television news or move to Canada. Not they don’t have their own troubles, but at least to me they would be new troubles. Lord, “Tell me Your secret, help me bear the strain of toil, the fret of care.”
Parker Palmer says when we make a deep bow to the soul of a suffering person our respect “reinforces the souls healing resources.” What are your resources? Mine reside in this verse.
So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good. 1 Peter 4:19
Trust, trust. Be still and trust. Some days more difficult than others.
Do not lie, even to yourself written by Joan Cittister
Mahatma Gandhi wrote, “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” Gandhi could have been a Benedictine. Humility is about living an integrated life, a life in which each part is in harmony with every other dimension.
What we think, what we say, and the way we go about life cannot be well lived when they are in opposition to one another. When, in fact, they simply cancel one another out, there is no integrity left to any of them. The person who lives a lie, for instance, no matter how effective otherwise, is in tension every moment of the day. The person who pretends to be something they are not—wealthy, credentialed, in emotional control—cannot function openly anywhere.
The truth is that we are meant to be transparent. People, hearing what we say, should know what we think. Seeing what we do with our lives, people can infer what we care about and how we think about things. If we say one thing but think another, somewhere, somehow, it all begins to seep out. Worst of all, the burden of hiding exhausts a person from the soul on out.
Benedict in the chapter on humility is quite direct about the intertwined life of soul, body, and emotions as the measure of integrity, strength, serenity, and freedom. In the final step of humility, his clarity is so simple it is stunning. He writes: Our humility “is evident at the Opus Dei, in the oratory, the monastery, or the garden, on a journey or in the field, or anywhere else.”
The directions are achingly pure: Be what you say you are. Do not lie, even to yourself. Don’t live two lives—loving parent/missing parent; honest employee/cheating employee; devoted public servant/self-absorbed public servant. The truth is that egotism is the bane of community building. No one can build anything that lasts when the materials are bogus.
I give myself over to my faithful Creator, our faithful One. This is not an easy task when I am troubled and disturbed, but He makes a way where there seems to be no way. Help me, Lord, continue to do good.
Try to listen as far as 3:55. This refrain rings through my soul!
How do you feel about the texting shortcuts? Will my grandson even know how to spell?
So, BTW, “By The Way” Bob wanted you to know he is just fine now. I failed to say that in my blog about when he was hospitalized and I learned that if you are going to be crucified you must hold perfectly still. Actually this morning he is out in this awful heat and high humidity taking an 8 mile bike ride on a dedicated bike trail. Hopefully he will drink all of the water he carries with him.
Here is another example of Bob’s indefatigable humor. He cut this out of the New Yorker and could not wait to share it with me! Blower, chain saw, and of course his beloved bagpipes! Me in the window trying to write this blog, or poetry, etc.
The weather has been just awful here in the Ohio River Valley as well as most of the USA. I walked a little over a mile this morning and once inside realized I was totally drenched. Again. I pass my neighbor, another Bob, as he rides his bike in the neighborhood. We are both equally tired of this draining heat.
Meanwhile the silly beagle is basking in the front yard. With all that fur does she not have a thermostat? On that note, she now wants in. Maybe she is smarter than I realize?
Been meaning to ask you, how do you punctuate your day?
Mine is puncture in the evening and puncture in the morning (insulin injections). Lord, I am grateful to have the insulin and other medications that I need. I do get tired of the needles though. So however you punctuate your days and evenings I hope in the routine you can find a reason to give thanks!
I just love when Bob captures some of my favorite subjects on video. Here are two of them. The Great blue Heron, my all time favorite bird for size and grace. And the water lily with “water cupped in center point.”
The Heron is described by Audubon Field Guide as: “39-52” (99-132 cm). W. 5’10 (1.8 m). Huge and gray, with massive bill, black crown stripe on whitish head. https://www.audubon.org/field-guide/bird/great-blue-heron If you have ever seen this bird in flight the description of slow wing beats is apt.
I hope you enjoy these very short video clips as much as I do! I marvel again and again that our Father made these tremendous creations. Though He does not have to let us witness and experience them, He does. And I am blessed for the seeing.
One week Lectio 360 was focusing on different ways of knowing the Lord. Below are their words.
I find this is my heart’s cry as I try to write this blog
What I know of God will only be a fraction of who the Holy Trinity is. Oh that I might make clear the little part I have understood during my life!
This is what the Lord says:
“Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches, 24 but let the one who boasts boast about this: that they have the understanding to know me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,” declares the Lord. Jeremiah 9:23-24 NIV
Father, I pray I am using my understanding to know You and the creation You have put before us for discovery of You and delight in Your creation. I pray You will continue to unfold the Scriptures for me. Holy Spirit continue to show and teach me the ways of the Almighty One.
May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. Galatians 6:14 NIV
When Bob lay dying 6 years ago I realized that no one could promise me he would survive the illness or that we would continue our marriage of so many years in the way we had become accustomed. When a woman hits a crossroads like that, for this woman at least, I had to realize that I must crucify my hopes and dreams and let the Lord Almighty have full control.
“I began to approach the situation with stillness but no presumption that I in any way knew the ultimate result. Though I was often unconsciously holding my breath, there was a stillness in me. The stillness came with a peace that I recognized as coming from God. Reporting the day’s events and blood work results to prayer partners via email, without forecasting the next step or event or outcome was about my only “productive” output.
“The stillness was related to Habakkuk 2:20 NRSV “But the Lord is in His holy temple; let all the earth keep silence before Him!” Another prayer that surfaced from the BCP “We do not presume to come to this Thy table trusting in our own righteousness but in Thy manifold and great mercies. We are not worthy so much as to gather up the crumbs under Thy table. But Thou are the same Lord whose property is always to have mercy.” (Holy Eucharist 1 P. 337)
“Part of my struggle was yielding to the facts and in stillness letting my wishes die, placing my hope in the plans of the Almighty. I could not see the outcome at all, but I trusted His goodness and His love for both myself and my family. I learned that crucified you must hold perfectly still. Ephesians 3:16 helped me to trust more. “I pray that, according to the riches of His glory, He may grant that you may be strengthened in your inner being with power through His Spirit, and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, as you are being rooted and grounded in love.” I prayed for Bob and our children to be strengthened. I prayed for myself to be strengthened by His Spirit with power penetrating to my innermost being. Yes, crucified you must hold perfectly still. I was not “going” anywhere.
I had to hold still, let go of my wishes and dreams. Let God unfold the future before me. True surrender.
I am His child.
I have only learned a small fraction about Who my God is. I barely know the Trinity. I am willing to continue to learn. In many ways, I know that the lessons from the not too distant past will carry me to the very end of my days. May Christ be glorified in and through me, I pray.
For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. 2 Timothy 1:6 NIV
Have you? Do you know the gift God has given to you? Are you doing your best to fan it into flame?
God continues to give His believers a holy calling, His own purpose, the grace He gave us in Christ Jesus ages ago.
He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time 2 Timothy 1:9 NIV
That is why I would remind you to stir up (rekindle the embers of, fan the flame of, and keep burning) the [gracious] gift of God, [the inner fire] that is in you by means of the laying on of my hands [with those of the elders at your ordination]. Amplified 2 Tim 1:6
Next week will be confirmation at St. Timothy’s by the Bishop. Bob was amazed at his confirmation that not only did the bishop lay hands on his head, but he also gently slapped him. This practice is not always continued today. I thought it was wonderful! As if to say, “Grow up ! Take this seriously! You now belong to Christ and the devil will do whatever he can to take you back.” The really great news is that NOTHING can take us out of the hand of Jesus!
“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. 28 I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. 29 My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. 30 I and the Father are one.” John 10:27-30
So for me, stir up, set afire the embers, fan the flame, keep your gift from God burning is a lifelong call. Recently I heard the call again from the Lord and am actively listening for how He would like to use my writing. I publish this blog and invite you to use it freely. A friend in Lexington was so moved by my state of aging (https://wordpress.com/post/treasures-in-plain-sight.org/16426) that she took it to the women’s meeting at her church. They loved it and laughed out loud with understanding. Even her husband was getting comments and he told me he had nothing to do with it!
My goal is to get the writing out there in any way the Lord sees fit. So if I come to mind, please pray for wisdom to know what to do with this stuff. I have been told by many that I have a gift. I just want to Honor the Trinity with how I use it.
You might remember this photo from our other house where a spider captured one of “our” hummingbirds?
I was SO angry I beat the spider to death with a broom. He was huge. So much for Franciscan values.
I try to follow my blogger friend Mike Powell at https://michaelqpowell.com/2024/07/09/blog-anniversary/ He is a dragonfly expert. His photography is most often amazing! Recently I was saddened to find this on the porch of our new house.
I know, even spiders need to eat. I was so sad to see what had been eaten and that the spider left me the remnants of its meal to clean up.
I know that many people, female and male are afraid of spiders. Some are even terrified. I began a story about fear in 1982 and added finishing touches in 1990. Hope this encourages you! No we cannot beat the enemy of our souls to death with a broom, but there are actions we can take.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 TIM 1:7
I saw the devil as a decrepit, weazand, impotent old man, stooped over, no strength in his backbone, but malice in his eyes. He worked his way up an open staired metal ladder to the catwalks along the lights above a stage.
I sat on the stage in finger curls and white eyelet ruffles looking much like the storybook picture of Miss Muffet. I was happy, contented and apathetic (having or showing little or no emotion).
Using seemingly his last once of strength, this old impotent being reached the spot on the catwalk above me which he had chosen as his point of power. From inside his trench coat he pulled a marionette … it was a hideous, hairy spider with spindly octopus-like legs and invisible strings. The catwalk was edged with a railing made of steel tubular pipes. He rested his weight upon the cold steel, too weak to stand on his own. He dropped the marionette half-way down and adjusted his hands in the wooden frames that controlled the stings for moving the spider’s body. Then he dropped the spider all the way down, near my face.
As I caught sight of the hideous hairy spider from the corner of my eye, apathy fled and emotions stormed over me. The spineless, weak being above me had little strength to hurt me, but he chose to use my own power against me. I flailed out in fear and anger and my actions made that spider jump and fly through the air with more energy than the old fart could ever have put into it.
And at that juncture, the loving voice of my Lord broke into the scene and said, “Molly, the spider is fear. It has very little power on its own. But you give it your energy by flailing and struggling and assuming it is more powerful than it is. Think through this same scene and SEE that had you chosen to sit still and watch that spider, it would have dangled from strings and been as impotent to harm you as the one holding its frames. HE has no power over you unless you give it to him. Fear is a choice!”
My life has never been the same. I am not always fearless, but I do know that when fear comes I can choose to have it go. Seeing things a new way … choosing another perspective or point of view … RESPONDING instead of reacting are all keys to maintaining my peace and experiencing the comfort and presence of my Lord Jesus.
“I sought the Lord and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears.” PS 34:4
My prayer is that you might learn not to give the spiders of fear power over you. I understand our first instinct is usually to swat a spider away, but we have the choice to learn how to respond instead of react. I am praying for you!
Treasures in Plain Sight, A Christian Blog 