Autumn

The first definitive rain and cold front moved through here the other day. Up at the flower shop the wind even threw on its side a potted tree. The many oak leaves that had littered the yard are gone – poof! – taken off to other places. The maples are starting to change, but have not yet blessed us with yellow showers. That will begin momentarily.

Writing about October author Joyce Rupp in her book “May I Have This Dance” says, “Although autumn might seem to be a harsh reminder of death, we can also be encouraged to enter into the mystery of eternal life. We see autumn standing in surrender as the winds sweep her trees naked. The frost browns her meadows and deadens her plants. But a deeper truth is beneath the appearance of death.

“A movement toward life takes place in autumn. Dead leaves that seem to have no value are transformed by winter snows and spring rains to rich humus for new growth… No new growth will come unless autumn agrees to let go of what has been. The same is true of our lives.”

Is that woman a great author or what?!? Are we willing to let go of what has been? Bob and I celebrate our birthdays about three weeks apart. He is two years older than I am. This aging thing brings both of us face to face with the changes that have occurred in our bodies over the many years we have been married. We are no longer strong and as frivolous like in our youth. We both want to approach aging with calmness, peace and an acceptance of what is. That is easier to write than to do. So much easier.

Turn the page

I do know from reading and re-reading the book Radical Acceptance that I only increase my suffering by refusing to accept what is. So here I am turning the corner on 75 and he just turned 77. My older friends in their 80s and 90s tell me I am still young. Whew! I do not feel young!!

The Holy Spirit assures me that God is not finished with me yet. As I learn what I am to lay aside and where to proceed I remember the trees and the changes autumn brings.

Molly, can you stand in surrender and be encouraged to enter into the mystery of eternal life? Dallas Willard taught that eternal life begins now for those of us who love and follow closely after God. There truly are times in my encounters with the Holy One that I can forget the challenges by body presents and breath deeply of the life God offers me in the here and now.

The following piece of music helps me do just that if I will stop, breathe deeply and listen closely. I hope it helps you draw close to God in the present moment and blesses you. I hope you will take the time to listen to all of this piece. For me, it is like a musical prayer. Three minutes, 53 seconds of bliss. Just stop and listen.

Practicing the Way

John Mark Comer has me on a growth course. I am trying to do his ‘first thing in the morning exercise.’ I get my coffee and sit in my prayer chair at the bedroom window. Lately I have been reviewing the day before briefly with the Lord. Then I ask for a Psalm or Scripture to focus upon. I pray that passage to God. I talk with God about my life. I listen for his voice and “attempt to just let go.” Comer goes on to instruct, “But most of the time I just sit there. I breathe. And I look at what my eyes can’t see.” Lately, I have taken that looking to mean adoration.

My journal entries from this practice have blessed and carried me throughout the day. I have returned to wearing my beaded bracelet that reads, “Constantly renewed immediacy.” When it rattles or gets my attention I do my best to renew my immediate awareness of the Lord’s presence.

The time flies past when I practice this. And it also takes almost no time at all! I am amazed and delighted. I refer to the daily Lectionary readings to find the psalm(s) of the day. Sometimes I use those. Or one of the readings, or we just sit together. Here is one entry from last week.

25-10-9 Awaken me to You

Lord the day has begun as a computer mess. Like a bucket of messy spaghetti poured all over the floor. I choose to let that distraction go and pray for you to “hold my face in your hands” as Stephanie sings in “When You’re This Close.” My heart’s desire is to know you as this close. I am dizzy with new drug dose. Getting 2 immunizations today and needing your touch with those. Protect me my Lord from side effects and reactions I pray. I already have a clenched stomach since yesterday.

I look to you as my healer. Psalm for the daily office – Ps 131

O Lord, my heart is not lifted up, my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me.
But I have calmed and quiet my soul,
Like a child at it’s mother’s breast
Like a child that is quieted is my soul.

But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
like a weaned child with its mother;  my soul is like the weaned child that is with me.
O Israel hope in the Lord from this time forth and for evermore.



As I still my soul and make it quiet I realize it is drugged and bleary. Lord hold me close. Awaken me to your presence and your care. I want to be aware of you. Like Brother Lawrence I want to be aware of your closeness and touch. I want to hear your voice saying turn to the right or turn to the left. Isa 30:21

I wait and listen for you now. As I got still I heard,

This is just a season, an episode, like a cloud passing over the earth, an occurrence that will pass. Wait it out with expectations for great things, not doom. Look to me and be radiant.   (Ps 34)

You are a good, good Father. Even as I read out to Pastor Brad (at Bible study last night so he could write them on the white board) what the psalms were for today I did not catch 131 as one of my favorites. Even as I typed it and read it with bleary eyes it did not register until I had the computer read it back to me this morning, until you encouraged me with “wait it out with great expectations.” O Lord forgive me for gloom and help me to fix my eyes upon you with great expectations. The Insight meditation about letting go of control brought me ‘round to facing you fully and being held in your arms of love. I am going to be okay.

EXPECTATIONS FOR GREAT THINGS, NOT DOOM

7:14AM new bird call, still seems dark. Not new, Merlin Bird ID says little Carolina Wren singing praises.

So I went into that day trying to calm and quiet my soul. Waiting upon the Lord with expectations for great things. The next day I had to remember the message I heard from this day as the side effects of the immunizations kicked in. One evening Bob and I both felt just lousy and went to bed early, but we tried not to let that get us down. The immunization side effects have lessened now. The new drug dose, well, I still am not accustomed to it. Hopefully I will adjust soon!

Have you tried this method of starting your day? Have you written down the experience. I strongly encourage both. I never do this with the idea of sharing with anyone else. I do it for myself. Though sometimes, I am asked to let you glimpse what happens between my Lord and me. I hope those glimpses encourage you to try this sort of practice. God is no respecter of persons. He will help you and bless your attempts to practice his presence.

A Look

Many people are credited with the wisdom about prayer that says, “I look at Him. He looks at me, and we are happy.”

St. Therese of Lisieux is quoted as saying, “For me, prayer is a surge of the heart; it is a simple look turned toward heaven, it is a cry of recognition and of love, embracing both trial and joy.”

It is said about a farmer. It is said about an old man who went to church everyday and just seemed to be sitting in the pew. Finally the priest asked him what he was doing. He replied, “I look at Him. He looks at me, and we are happy.”

and we are happy

Have you tried this? Remember John Mark Comer wrote, “Because it’s here – looking at God, God looking at us, in love – that we are happy, that we are most free, content, at rest, at ease, grateful, joy filled and alive.”

I challenge you to try practicing this for a full week. Spend several minutes every day simply looking towards the King of kings and letting the King look at you. Be at peace and be happy there. Then, as our weatherman is fond of saying, “Rinse and repeat.” Do it tomorrow and the next day and the next. This too is a valuable form of prayer!

“In returning and rest I am saved, In quietness and trust is my strength.” Isaiah 30:15a

Reading a New to Me Book

I belong to a Monday night Zoom book discussion. The leader recently suggested we read Practicing the Way. Written by John Mark Comer, this book quotes some of my favorite authors: Brother Lawrence, Dallas Willard, Thomas Kelly, Madame Guyon and others.

Published January, 2024

There are YouTube video interviews, podcast interviews and many more resources. If you go to the website https://www.practicingtheway.org/ the resources for getting you started and keeping you inspired are numerous!

You might remember that the early followers of Jesus were said to be “The Way.” Jesus referred to himself as the way, the truth and the life. (John 14:6). In Acts the early followers are referred to as the Way. There are many references in the New Testament.

Quoting Karl Rahner, Comer writes,

“The Christian of the future will be a mystic or he will not exist at all.”

He goes on to say, “Mystics are just those who aren’t content to read books or hear sermons about this glorious reality; they want to experience this love and be transformed by it into a people of love. Because it’s here – looking at God, God looking at us, in love – that we are happy, that we are most free, content, at rest, at ease, grateful, joy filled and alive.”

When was the last time you spent time just BEING WITH God. Not asking for anything, but just spending time together? Thinking over this idea I realized that many of my retreat times with the Transfiguration Community have brought me to this place of resting in God, being with God, looking lovingly at God and knowing I am being seen by God.

Often when I go to the cemetery where Daughters go to die, the purpose is to remind myself that I am seen and heard and loved by God. I drop all the clutter that occludes this wisdom and rest there in God.

The best way for me to learn is taking notes and typing them up. I will be doing this the next few weeks. My goal is not to reproduce the book, but hopefully to interest you enough that you might explore it for yourself. At least you might glean some wisdom from the notes I share?

You have likely seen the bumper sticker that asks, “Do you follow Jesus this closely?” John Mark opens with sentiment that we might be “covered with the dust of our rabbi” meaning follow Jesus so closely that the dust he kicks up will be all over us. I think that is a great word picture! I pray it will be true of you, also. If I understand correctly he got the image from Rob Bell who got it from Hebraic teaching.

A Full Stop

Approaching a stop light have you ever struggled to come to a full stop before the light changes? Maybe going a bit too fast or not paying attention to the signals? More and more people around here seem to think the light signals do not apply to them. They make no attempt to slow down or stop. The other day one vehicle nearly collided with me and other cars when it went blazing through an intersection. Several of us laid on our horns to voice our displeasure. Thankfully, no one was hurt.

The full stop I am most thinking of is the difficulty I have at times to turn off the flood of thoughts and just stop. Have you struggled with that? At our house we sometimes call it mind racing. Yesterday afternoon it felt like the torrential floods after the monster rain storms that have been occurring. We mostly see videos on the news. Yep, that was my brain.

Even my meditation and devotions were a struggle this morning. Turn it all loose, Molly. Open your hands. If I clutch topics and people in my hands, I know I am not free to receive what the Lord wants to place in my hands next!

So far the month of August has been very, very tiring. I know that is a large part of the problem. How I could think that my concern about a situation could ever change or effect it? Well, in clear, more sane moments I realize that is just nonsense. The Gospels tell me point blank Do Not Be Anxious.

 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew 6:25-34 ESV

Anxiety mentioned five times in just a few verses. Brother Lawrence taught me that useless thoughts spoil everything. Paul in 2 Corinthians 10:5 tells me I am to take every thought captive to Jesus. I read that as I am to turn every thought over to Jesus. I am not to try to wrestle that thought, tie it up and deliver it to Jesus. Just give it to him, the One whose thoughts are not my thoughts, Whose ways are not my ways. (Isaiah 55:9 NIV)

And even this moment my concentration is shattered, splintered. Like the dog on “Up” I holler, “Squirrel!”

So I closed the blind over my office window next to my computer. I have experiential knowledge that the Lord God Almighty will meet me in the stillness. I choose even now to be still. One moment at a time.

There was another praise chorus that came to me years ago. It says, “Spirit of God within me, rise up. Spirit of God within me rise up. Take ascendancy over my body. Take ascendancy over my mind.”

Steve Green sang a song that asked, “You want to. Now Will you?”

I had to struggle to remember Isaiah 30:15 in the night. “In returning and rest I am saved, in quietness and TRUST shall be my strength.” And the zinger at the end, “But you would not.” Lord, I do not want to be one of those who would not.

All of that is still true this bright, sunny, hot and humid morning. It was true in the night. It will be true tonight and tomorrow. I need to cling to the source of my life and rest. Just rest in the truth that is my Lord. Even so, Lord, come.

I have decided that if there is a struggle today, I will require every thought to stop and state their business. If the business is not of God, I will require a toll of singing praise to the Lord God Almighty. If there is refusal to sing those praises, then the offender can simply turn out in the lane provided for dismissal. Nope, not welcome to come at this campground. Time for some rest.

The Daughter’s Tombstone

Years ago, after I dropped my son off at nursery school I drove around enjoying some quiet with God. I wound up in a cemetery I had never been to before. I had been praising and singing a good part of the morning. I came up the steep curved driveway and much to my surprise there was this huge tombstone with a simple word daughters.

photo taken more than 45 years ago

I had been studying William Law and the idea of dying to self. I was struck with the idea that this is the place where daughters come to die. As a daughter of the King of kings, the will of God is more important than my will. I was at the place in my walk where I realized that obedience to the King is more important than what I want in any given situation.

That same morning I heard a worship chorus. It goes, “Total surrender brings total power, Spirit of Christ in me, totally yielded to Thee every hour, until Thy will I see. Death to my passions and every desire, living wholly for Thee, have Your own way Spirit of Love, totally flow through me.”

Recently, I drove to the same cemetery and the headstone is terribly discolored.

photo August 3, 2025

I decided to return and try and clean it. Online it said to use vinegar water with maybe a drop of dish soap in it and a soft brush. My husband went with me. We took a gallon of water and scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed. It did look better when we were finished, but still discolored.

August 4, 2025 Prior to second scrubbing

Recently, we’ve had some family trouble. With all the stress, I was having difficulty concentrating on writing, so I decided to return to the cemetery and scrub some more. This time I took a baking soda solution, another internet idea. On the way there I remembered the chorus about total surrender. It was so fitting because in this family situation I have no influence and no control over the outcome. Once there as I got my supplies out of the car and climbed a little hill to the headstone, I began singing the chorus. I was reminded once again that this place of surrender to God is the healthiest and happiest place for me to be.

I will go back tomorrow take another photo and see how the daughter’s grave is looking. In the meanwhile I will do my best to stayed yielded to God my Father and Mother.

For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel:
In returning and rest you shall be saved;
    in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.
But you refused
Isaiah 30:15 NRSVUE

And Samuel said,

“Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices
    as in obedience to the voice of the Lord?
Surely, to obey is better than sacrifice
    and to heed than the fat of rams.”
1 Samuel 15:22 NRSVUE

“If you love me, you will keep my commandments. 16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, to be with you forever. 17 This is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him because he abides with you, and he will be in you.” John 14:15-17 NRSVUE

After second scrubbing

Every Moment Holy, Even the Ones with Anxiety

At the end of a very long and lovely liturgy called For One Suffering Anxiety, Every Moment Holy suggested writing this out or memorizing it to use in times of anxiety. I had no idea at the time I would need it on so many days!

So meet me here, O Mighty God. Meet me
in the midst of my disquiet. Meet me in
the seat of my anxiety, and bid this storm
within my soul Be still!
Now calm my heart, O Father.
Now soothe my mind O Christ.
Now breathe your peace, O Spirit, upon me.
Release me from my cares, O God,
as I release my cares to you.
Amen.
Every Moment Holy Volume 3, Page 243

And God did. Enough said.

Thank you, Douglas Kaine McKelvey.

Every Moment Holy

There are some days that seem darker than others and it is difficult to imagine that every moment is holy. I know just to be alive is a holy gift.

This publication from Rabbit Room sends out a daily quote from one of the volumes that have been published. Recently it read:

Lord, may I not so much find the right words as allow the right words to find me, not so much compose as allow you to compose me.

And another day they sent out,

Lord, I confess that all these words I love and lay before you were never mine, but always yours; truth itself is never mine but always yours.

I am always blessed when another author expresses my heart so clearly and concisely. Lord, use whatever I write in whatever way you desire. Help me to have the right words. Help me express your hesed, loving kindness, for us. Show me how to collect and compose the messages. Use them as you will. As always, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

To God be the glory forever and ever amen.

Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, who gave himself for our sins to rescue us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen. Galatians 1:3-5 NIV

Humility The Lost Virtue

I have been reading Joan Chittister’s book Wisdom Distilled From the Daily, Living the Rule of St. Benedict Today. In the chapter on humility she writes about both Benedict and Augustine.

Some place between these poles of extreme suppression and extreme selfishness, monastic humility provides a basis for human community and a basis for union with God. To Benedict the process is clearly the work of a lifetime. He calls it “a ladder of humility,” a climb with basic parts, a progression – not a leap- that involves the integration of both body and soul. “Our body and our soul are two sides of the ladder” he teaches. No dualism here just the simple, honest admission that each of us is grounded in something but reaching for God and each of us is attempting to bring the demands of the body and the hope of the soul into parallel, into harmony, into center. Against gravity and despite all the imbalances of our lives. Pulling body and soul together is the problem. It is also the project of life.

The tower and the ladder symbols were favorites with the ancients, but it was left to Augustine to give us that marvelous line: “Do you seek God? Seek within yourself and ascend through yourself.” If we are really seeking God, we have to start in the very core of our own hearts and motives and expectations. We can’t blame the schedule or the finances or the work or the people in our lives for blocking our progress. We have to learn to seek from within ourselves. We have to stop waiting for the world around us to be perfect in order to be happy.”

That is a load to think about! Body and soul. Spirit and seeking. Working with the ladder of humility. I pray this Sunday will start you on a journey of finding more humility in your walk. I hope you can descend within your own heart and discover the power of Christ in you, the hope of glory. (Colossians 1:27) Christ is able to lead and guide us in all of our searching.

Inside Out © 1988 Molly Lin Dutina

I want to live from the inside out,
always within the center-down silence.
Having to struggle to get back
is not the direction I choose.

Teach me, Lord, and help me
know how to grow
from the peaceful
sanctuary within.

Show me please where
to refresh our love.
Give me attitudes that will unravel me
from the sin which so easily entangles.

Make me one with You, Lord,
so I will know
how to be close
to all that is around me.

Help me, Father,
and be glorified in my life.

Bob’s Book

Recently Bob ordered a book on the autobiography of St. Therese of Lisieux. He shared some of his favorite parts with me.

How great is the power of Prayer! One could call it a Queen who has at each instant free access to the King and who is able to obtain whatever she asks. To be heard it is not necessary to read from a book some beautiful formula composed for the occasion. If this were the case, alas, I would have to be pitied!

Interesting that she saw prayer as the Queen with instant free access to the King. I am uncertain that I agree with her idea that prayer is able to obtain anything she asks. I believe the answers can be: yes, maybe, no, or we will see about that.

Her idea of prayer as a Queen should hold each of us captive as we make our requests known to God.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to Godand the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7