As we begin another week, I wanted to wind up those intense recent postings with something suitable to draw our attention back to Christ. I am again drawn to surrender and disarmed by the Love of the Trinity. When I came across this I decided Benjamin William sings it best for me right now. The medley includes Agenda, Hungry, O Praise the Name, Gratitude, a chorus that goes How could I thank You enough? Eden, Isn’t It Just Like You, What a Beautiful Name. How can you beat keyboard, guitar, cello and violin? I pray you are blessed, too!
Turn it up and worship along!! Focus again, turn your eyes upon Jesus.
For quite a while I have enjoyed Elevation Worship. I taped a program on TV called Elevation Church. Thought I might have time to learn about the preaching there. To continue my story about a rough week:
Bob went to shower and I looked at what TV shows I had recorded. There was a church service from Elevation church. I love Elevation music and decided to see what this was about. The LORD met me there. Sermon was about the Holy Spirit as our Ghost Writer. The events of our life might hit us as the end, but God encourages us to be a page turner.
I heard Pastor Furtick say “We are only at this point, there is more God is writing in our story.” I asked my sorry self to sit up and pay attention. Okay, more pain was a disappointment: not what I wanted, yet a reality. Disappointment in realizing I have OTHER THAN what I hoped for. Same old, same old; same shit, different day. My problem was I had put my hope in other than God’s will. No, His will is not more suffering. His will is always acceptance and seeking His way through life rather than digging in my heels and stubbornly insisting on my way be done. The injection did not fix the problem of pain. I did not need to let it drive me from the One who loves me best!
I have listened to this Elevation church sermon more than once. Letting the reality of God-at -work sink into my heart and soul. HE wants me to be a page turner in my own story. Embracing the story as it unfolds. Not stopping at the obstacles that occur in my life. His ways truly are higher than my ways. He has my best interests in mind – all the time.
I confessed the ignorance and futility of hoping for other than His ways and His will for me. Just like when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, He has not promised to remove this pain from me, but a better promise than that has been given to me. He has promised to BE WITH ME IN IT.
This pain provides a limitation on me with the aging of turning 74 this year. As we approach and pass the celebration of our 54th wedding anniversary we both recognize that indeed we are aging and slowing down in so many ways. Though our outer person is wasting away our inner person is newer through the Holy Spirit day by day.
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.2 Cor 4:15-17
He says, “My mind says it is over, but I have a ghost writer! The helper called the Holy Ghost is the ghost writer!” As a wordsmith you can imagine the impact that statement made upon me!
Below is a YouTube recording of the entire sermon. If you have never heard Steven Furtick preach you might be interested. He is a cross of old-time black preacher and contemporary charismatic preaching. The organ that emphasizes his sermon reminds me of going to church years and years ago with Lucretia and the woman from Having the Courage to Change .
He encourages us all to be a page turner. He says lick your finger and be willing to turn to the next page. If you scroll to about minute 37 or so, you will get the Lord’s point to me.
Perhaps the pain in my life is a necessary mess? I am driven back to the arms of God when I am bombarded with pain, knowing for a fact I cannot cope on my own, in my own strength. Yet the Trinity comes and lifts me up, gives me thoughts and ideas on how to keep going even in the face of debilitating chronic pain. Osteoarthritis and diabetes are both chronic and progressive. There is no cure for either one. But Christ has promised He will never leave me or forsake me. I might turn from Him when I am disappointed or frustrated, but I am never alone.
At the end of the sermon they played this worship song. Again, found me right where I am living.
Christy Nockles reminds us in her lyrics for Be Loved that I may try to run away, but He’ll come running after me. Relinquishing to His love and resting in His arms is the best path to healing for me. Hope resides in me realizing that this is just ‘an episode, not the entire movie’ of my life – just a season with another season to follow.
I have been hit again this week with the reminder that I enjoy spring much more than autumn when nature is wilting and ready to die back to the ground. In spring it is exciting to discovery what will open to life next. The withering of autumn is so much less enjoyable. “Yet, inwardly I am renewed day by day.” Remember that part, Molly Lin. Refreshed, renewed, made new creation.
Come then Holy Spirit and continue to write this story called me. I am Yours. I am held.
This is not an easy entry to compose, but I sense a call to be transparent. Perhaps someone else might be encouraged if they too are struggling?
If you follow this blog you might remember I have had a peculiar pain in my left hip for the past year. The internist ordered an X-ray and they results were simply arthritis. This is a new to me arthritic pain. I am already on ,medications to alleviate the chronic pain that I suffer. The meds were not touching this one. Sometimes I would walk the dog, get halfway down the street and fear I might not make it home unless I called Bob to come get me. Have not had to do that yet, but it was THAT much pain.
When I saw the pain specialist he suggested an epidural much like I have had in the past for pain on my right side. It did not alleviate the pain. Then there was the procedure I call the nerve cooker. First Medicare insisted on 2 trial injections of Novocaine to ascertain if position was correct and if the procedure worked. The relief lasted 45 minutes to 2-1/2 hours. It was determined that the nerve cooker would work. I had the Medial Branch radio frequency nerve ablation and I looked forward to months of relief. It came with terrible leg cramps that woke me in the night. Thank goodness I have not had a repeat of the worst one that left me gasping, in pain from hip to hell, but I continue to experience lesser cramps.
The morning of my return appointment I did a centering meditation with Andrew Johnson on Insight Timer. I had moved into a place during meditation of seeing Jesus holding me while I floated in water. He literally upheld me. I remembered snippets of a song by Christy Nockles.
I saw the doctor later that day. It is final. The procedure did not work. The medical option did not prove to be helpful. In fact, it caused those unrelenting leg cramps. That left me at the bottom of the pit emotionally. The pain specialist said there was one more nerve block he could try. I asked didn’t we already do that? He said this was a different one. Or he could refer me to a back surgeon. He said even then he was not certain my ruptured discs were bad enough to warrant surgery. I recoiled. No one WANTS back surgery. But he gave me the name of a surgeon at Anderson Mercy.
I had asked myself, “What would my grandparents have done?” The answer was live with it. So I am trying to embrace my own prayer more fully. The prayer that goes,
I have determined that this day,
each time I am drawn up short by pain,
I will praise You
for I love You better than life -
even better than quality of life.
On way home from surgeon I just wanted to weep at the prospect of more pain. I wanted a double dip peanut butter chocolate chip sundae with hot fudge and peanut butter topping for lunch. Being a conscientious diabetic I could not bring myself to stop at the UDF I passed on the way home. I just keep driving. Then I thought about having a vodka gimlet or two. Nope, did not do that either. My eyes kept overflowing with disappointment.
After trying to rest during the afternoon (and failing to sleep) I found the Christy Nockles song that I could not place that morning. I put it on replay, continuously for a couple hours, asking the truth to reside in my soul.
I still want to cry hearing the wondrous lyrics that hold His truth. “So just be held, be held, He holds you.” I know that none of this was a surprise to the Savior. He was not startled or taken aback that the procedure did not work. He knows and understands the pain I experience.
Dinner came and went. I was not much improved; however, I had the hope of that song to cling to. This is installment one of how I am coping. Tomorrow I will share how a TV sermon touched my heart.
Yes, I would give myself in marriage to Robert Dutina today, even knowing all I know about our life together thus far! Just a wonderful blessing our marriage has been to me!
Today is our big celebration! Married Fifty-four years! Count ’em 54!
There were folks how placed bets it would never last. We never asked Betty Dutina who those betting people were. All I can say is we have lasted thus far!
Live Oak Park, Berkeley, California, 1970
19,723 days. 648 months. 28,401,840minutes. Any way you look at it we have been married a LONG time, but in my eyes not long enough!!
2017 Grand CanyonEaster on Siesta Drive after Bob had been so illMy face ached after smiling so much on our wedding day!
And 54 years later I am still smiling!
Happy Anniversary to us! The church prayed over us as we celebrate: “O God, send Your blessing upon these Your servants, that they may so love, honor, and cherish each other in faithfulness and patience, in wisdom and true godliness, that their home may be a haven of blessing and peace; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.” BCP Page 431
We made it by car all the way to the upper peninsula of Michigan and home again! What an adventure. Some of the things we had hoped to experience were thwarted, but we still had a good time. I find a dose of humor always helps with frustration.
The first afternoon on the road we were both desperate for a bathroom and some coffee as we were skipping our usual afternoon naps. We found a Starbucks location and pulled in. Jumped out of the car, hit the door and said, “First, potty!” To that the employees replied, “We are so sorry. There was a fire in another shop in this strip mall and we have no water.” Not understanding, I asked, “Well, can we at least use your toilets?” Oh, no water to flush either. UGH.
We returned to the car to try find another place, any place that sold coffee and had a toilet. We finally did. That night we stayed in Gaylord Michigan at a Comfort Inn and Suites. It was only 3 years old. Lovely facility and for the first time ever in our experience the room actually had MORE power outlets that we needed!
The Soo Locks are a remarkable feat of engineering and human ingenuity that connect Lakes Superior and Huron. The locks operate by raising and lowering boats between the levels of Lake Superior and the lower Great Lakes using a series of gates and chambers. Water and boats are moved solely by the force of gravity. The Soo Locks date back to the mid-1800s and are a popular tourist destination, attracting an estimated 500,000 visitors annually.
The Soo Locks, located on the St. Marys River, allow freighters to navigate between Lake Superior and the lower Great Lakes, the St. Lawrence Seaway, and international markets. This essential transportation link moves nearly 86 million tons of cargo annually, including 95% of the United States’ iron ore.
Well, as this adventure would have it, the Locks were closed up tight that day for a disaster drill. The area was swarming with Police and Border Patrol officers. As one commenter on Tripadvisor stated, “When we got there, the park is barricaded with only one entry point with an armed guard.” Even a ship worker we saw at the gate had to wait for special permission to enter. Very disappointing for us. After we watched big ships going along the Saint Lawrence River at our friend Pat’s house we had looked forward to this visit. Here are a few snapshots from outside the fence. To me it looked like a five story building on top of an enormous ship! I could not find the height listed, only the dimensions listed below. 223 meters in length is about 731 feet or 2 football field lengths!
Vessel type
Bulk carrier
Operating status
Active
Flag
Canada
Gross tonnage
23306 tons
Deadweight
34752 tons
Length
223 m
Breadth
23 m
Year of build
1987
photo by r m dutina
So though we were disappointed we figured we would go on to Clyde’s drive-in, famous for burgers and shakes. Yes, it was still morning, but we had waited for a famous milkshake for a few weeks and now we were here. Pulled in to the parking lot and there was one guy on a motorcycle. Before we could emerge from the car a woman came out of the place and told us she was sorry, but they had no electricity. “WHAT?!?!” Yep no electric, so no food service or ability to ring up sales. We told her our unfortunate experience at Starbucks and at the Locks. She replied, with a gleam of humor in her eyes, “Well it must be you guys! Every place you go is not functional!” We drove away with no milkshake. There were a few other sightings of Clyde’s in other places in Michigan, but we did not stop.
That night we stayed at the Boarders and Suites by Cobblestone in Munising. It was very nice. We were somewhat mollified by our luck so far. We were finally sleeping and traveling the Upper Peninsula, or as the locals say the “UP” or we were among the Yoopers.
Several of the motels we chose were disappointing and one was downright depressing. However, all of them were quiet and clean so we did not do too badly by doing it all online by ourselves.
Each day we listened to our favorite faith podcasts and music we brought from home on data sticks in the car. We were praising God as we went along!
Yes! I have been impacted by these quotes and books. I pray the quotes bring you encouragement as well as food for thought.
The basic idea of being a disciple, in the New Testament, is being with Jesus, learning to be like Him. The disciple {since the resurrection} is someone who is with Jesus, still, learning to be like Him. That’s a status. Disciple is a status; spiritual formation is a process. Renovated by Jim Wilder
Spiritual formation, in the Christian sense, is the process of transformation that occurs to the disciple. Such transformation involves emotional and spiritual maturity. And if we are not disciples, we won’t move forward in that process. You cannot experience spiritual transformation – transformation onto the likeness of Christ – without being a disciple of Christ. Renovated by Jim Wilder
So now you see the seriousness of accepting a form of Christianity that does not involve being a disciple. If a disciple is defined as one who is “learning from Jesus how to lead my life as He would lead my life if He were I,” we have to ask ourselves Is that me? Then we have to answer honestly in terms of what is happening in our life. And then we have to ask Have I chosen that? And if I have chosen it, what am I doing to carry through with it?
All of those questions made me sit back and question my life, my church life, my path forward with the Lord. Won’t you take a moment to examen yourself in light of what Jim Wilder and Dallas Willard teach? I think these questions are of utmost importance for us as we attempt to follow Jesus through this life.
One question they pose reminds me of Ignatian spirituality. “If a disciple is learning from Jesus how to live, what am I learning from Him now? What have I learned from Him in the past? How does that whole progression look? As a disciple, my consciously chosen aim is to learn the life of Jesus, and I am constantly arranging and rearranging my affairs to realize this goal.”
I am an Associate at the Convent of the Transfiguration. The teachings about transformation remind me that Jesus calls me to also be transfigured – my old self for the New Creation He wants to create in me.
These two authors Jim Wilder and Tyler Staton are impacting my thoughts, words and deeds with Gospel truths. May they bring you closer to discipleship, too.
I have been reading Jim Wilder’s book “Renovated: God, Dallas Willard and the Church That Transforms” and Tyler Staton’s book, “Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools.” Both have me taking notes and being challenged in my walk.
Jim Wilder studied under Dallas Willard. Most of the things I have noted from the book are Dallas’s words. It is such a meaty book that I read it in small portions at a time. I am about 45% finished with it. If I am quoting Jim instead of Dallas please forgive me.
Here are some quotes that have had me thinking.
“Christian formation is the process of taking on the character of Christ. That means the person begins to think with – to have beliefs and images and ways of interpreting things that are characteristic of – Christ. This process begins at what we call “the birth from above” – the impartation or implantation of a new life in the person. The record of history and Scripture testify that salvation is best thought of as having a new kind of life.” from Renovated
There is debate within the church as to when exactly this process occurs. Tyler Staton notes that at some point we will notice the change within ourselves. More importantly for me recently, I must ask myself if I am truly interpreting things I ponder within me through the new life Christ has given to me.
Often I fail at this and need to confess and begin again. (Love that booklet from the Benedictines that is entitled, “Always we Begin Again.“)
The activity of the new kind of life that we mean by “birth from above” is reliance upon Christ and God for everything – the restoration of the relationship to God intended for us in the first place and that alone enables us to fulfill our nature. To “seek first the Kingdom of God and His kind of righteousness” is the natural response to the new life that has come to you. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 12:3, “If you believe that Jesus is Lord, that is because of the Spirit that has moved in you.” You actually believe that. from Renovated
Taking on the character of Christ. I love the recent lyric from Abandoned by Benjamin William Hastings that says, “My one life’s endeavor, to match Your surrender, to mirror not my will but Yours.” Father, help me to yield to this goal!
Does your home church foster this sort of growth? ‘Restoration of the relationship to God intended for us in the first place’?
Pursuing this type of life, “the restoration of the relationship to God intended for us in the first place” requires my constant awareness of my motives and purposes. Tyler notes that sin is agreed upon as a major problem in the world by every ‘historical era, cultures and philosophies.’
Believing in the existence of God has never really been the hang-up for us humans. Across cultures and eras, the existence of something bigger than us has always been the popular opinion. Even today, in a post-Enlightenment, highly skeptical society bent on deconstruction, the majority of people believe in some kind of deity who is running the show. from Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools
The hang-up is, and has always been, trusting the God we believe exists. …Adam and Eve trusted themselves, not the God they believed in. And that is what the Bible calls sin – good desire channeled through the wrong means. Sin is shorthand for any attempt to meet our deep needs by our own resources.from Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools
If I am to truly live from the new life that has been given to me, I must lay aside my mistaken attempts to meet my own needs and trust that God will take care of me. In every way. In every single day.
As you read this Bob and I are traveling to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. This looks like a daunting trip to us! We planned it without realizing at first that we will be in a different motel every single night. There is one place where we stay 2 nights, but overall it means moving suitcases, etc. back and forth to the car daily for a full week. We have not done this since we began aging so dramatically! Oh my! What have we gotten ourselves into? And it is all our own doing. We are so accustomed to going on vacation, unpacking the first day and making small car trips from that location. I will spend a few hours trying to figure out how to pack differently for myself so there is not all this perpetual suitcase hauling. (I just realized I like the instrumental music playing as I write. The song is entitled Fossils. How appropriate! LOL)
So Father God, I turn over our travel needs to You. Show us how to see all these Michigan sights without completely wearing ourselves out. If there is any way possible help us to witness the northern lights with our own eyes at Copper Harbor! Show us how to find an agate on the beach. Help us to live the imparted new life Christ has given us as we meet new people, with different accents, different lifestyles and foods. Most of all, help us to not only glorify Your name but to look to You in all things. We seek Your Kingdom and Your righteousness in Ohio and in Michigan.
Bombarded day and night with political ads and accusations, I must remember these lyrics of truth by Chris Tomlin. There is so much division in America can the Christians at least agree on this?
This is part of the songs lyrics.
Jesus Your name is the highest Your name is the greatest Your name stands above them all (oh, stands above) All thrones and dominions All powers and positions Your name stands above them all
And the angels cry holy All creation cries holy You are lifted high, holy Holy forever (we cry holy, holy, holy)
Remember: the King of kings will reign in the end!
The Trinity is above all thrones and dominions, all powers and positions. Amen.
My lovely years old rose bush did not come up this year. Drats! So I eventually bought a new one that Bob helped me plant out back. For a few weeks it did not seem to thrive. Then I noticed the top kept being sheared off. Those pesky deer seemed to be taking a taste each time they walked through the yard. Once I was wise to them I eventually bought a small bar of Zest soap, pierced it and hung it on a shepherd’s hook with fishing line. As you can see the rose bush is thriving now!
Not certain it will bear any flowers this autumn but at least it stands a chance against the browsing deer. It is supposed to be a fragrant tea rose. The shrub that did not thrive was peach colored and very fragrant.
The spice bush is thriving and putting out berries often referred to as lipstick.
Almost impossible to see the berries at this distance unless you have binoculars!My mother occasionally wore bright red lipstick like this!
I have seen birds and squirrels harvesting these bright berries.
Those tiny buds are likely the flowers for next year. The flowers are so tiny they do not look as if they will amount to anything! Like the berries you have to get close to see them in the spring. Can you tell how much I am enjoying this shrub?
And yes, the Jewelweed is thriving. here are some flowers in front of it.
Snapdragons, Elephant Ear and Jewelweed.Lavender, Elephant Ear and Jewelweed.
Breaking NEWS! When I cut back some of the fading fern fronds from the front flower bed yesterday I discovered a branch of the older rose. Perhaps it will return with vigor next year?
For the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the LORD as the waters cover the sea. Habakkuk 2:14 NIV
“For the Beauty of the Earth.”, written by Folliot Pierpoint in 1864
For the beauty of the earth, for the glory of the skies, for the love which from our birth over and around us lies.
Refrain: Christ, our Lord, to you we raise this, our hymn of grateful praise.
2 For the wonder of each hour of the day and of the night, hill and vale and tree and flower, sun and moon and stars of light, [Refrain ]
3 For the joy of human love, brother, sister, parent, child, friends on earth, and friends above, for all gentle thoughts and mild, [Refrain]
4 For yourself, best gift divine, to the world so freely given, agent of God’s grand design: peace on earth and joy in heaven. [Refrain]
Lord, You bless me with this little patch of earth. I cannot help but praise You as the seasons unfold and then fold upon each other. You are wonderful beyond all I can understand. Keep my eyes open to Your wonders all around me. Please comfort those living in areas scorched by bombs and warfare. Help them lift their eyes beyond what they can see to behold Your face, Your love ever encircling them. Help them see Your treasures in plain sight. Make those of us living in places of peace be ever mindful of those in need. Amen.
I noticed one hummingbird coming to our feeder is mostly back, not the distinctive green of the ruby throated that we always get. Here is the low down!
The Black-Chinned is in our area. Though mostly seen in the west it is also known to come as far as east as Ohio! I never knew 🙂 Welcome little one, but please try to share with the others at the feeder and the Jewelweed. (there is only a very slight difference in size between the two kinds.) Here is a very short video about the Black-Chinned.
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. Matthew 10:29 NIV
Treasures in Plain Sight, A Christian Blog 