The Room Under the Stairs

When I was a child we lived many of my early years in a four-family apartment building. My mother owned it and we rented out the other 3 apartments. Each unit was 2 bedroom, 1 bath. We had a paved driveway to play on. It ran along the side of the building, (a great place to play with a pinky ball or hopscotch) and a lower parking lot where we could ride bikes. The other side of the building had a strip of garden where I could find bugs and honeybees to experiment upon.

One of my favorite places was the closet under the stairs. In the basement, which at times flooded, there was a closet where my parents stored paint for the apartments. Due to the flooding there was a fragrance of dried mud on concrete. This closet had a door that could be locked from the inside and one light bulb. I would often go in there to hide from my family. I would turn over a paint can to use for a stool. Eventually I began swiping birthday cake candles to use in there so I could turn off the light. I had no idea I could have set the place ablaze with candles and paint cans!

Over time I began using thumbtacks to put up pictures of Jesus on the wall studs from various family funerals. The only person I showed the place to was my best friend Dana. Other than that it was private.

Recently during a Soul Collage retreat I was reminded of that secret place. Looking back I realized it was my early place of refuge and inspiration. For this collage, I tried to find a photo of a paint can. The only one I found was silly with polka dots on top of red paint.

The images each represent something to me. Clockwise from 11:00, they represent the Holy Spirit by the figure in the white cowl. The stained glass the church. The paper with words and the pencil, writing to His glory. The stream in the center is the Living Water. The candle for the basement closet with the paint can. The open hand, yielding to the Trinity. In one form or another all these things occurred or began in the secret worship place.

What is the foundation of your faith? Did you have spiritual formation in a secret place?

I once read The Secret Garden by Burnett. This quote sums up these ideas for me.

“Where you tend a rose my lad, a thistle cannot grow.”
― Francis Hodgson Burnett

I do not think Father God waits until the last moment to call and transform us. I believe He begins early in our life and continues until we answer the call to come to Him. Jesus said that in the book of John.

No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day. John 6:44 NIV

So much of our faith is formed and prospers in private.

Return to the Lord and find your resting place in Him. Surrender to the call upon your soul and spirit.

Hard to Pray, but Possible!

Wherever Your glory be best served,
whenever, however; there, then, and
in that state let me Your servant be;
only hide not from me Your divine love.

Help me to trust You to the uttermost.

Teach me to serve You as You deserve;
to give, and not to count the cost;
to fight, and not to heed the wounds;
to toil, and not to look for rest;
to labor, and not to ask for reward
save that of knowing
that I am doing Your will.


-Saint Ignatius Loyola’s prayer of dedication


This sums up life for me!

Yep

Maya Angelou wrote

Let nothing dim the light that shines from within., not even physical ailments!

Yes, I added, not even physical ailments. I cannot seem to catch a break. There is always something with this body! I decided to walk at least one mile a day in dedicated exercise time. I got a few blisters. Wrapped my toes with slip on cushions. Got blisters on top of blisters. Double slip on cushion, no improvement. Added a Band-aid over the great toe and the cushioned sleeves over that. No relief. Orthotics? Shoes? Just my feet?

Returned to the foot surgeon because I was clueless. The toe he put a steel plate in a few years ago (with six lovely screws) seems to be rising up again. Arthritis had made that toe begin to stick up in the first place. He went in during surgery, removed the bone, shaved it down, turned it over. Screwed it down with the plate. He showed me on the current x-ray that it cannot rise up as the bone tissue has grown over the plate now. But respecting how it feels to me, he ordered a CT scan of that toe.

October 2019 after surgery

In the meantime a more expert orthotist the surgeon knows is going to rebuild a pair of orthotics for me in an attempt to correct what the other guy did wrong. We will not order new shoes yet, though that might be in my near future. Blisters need to heal.

Grrr – you must understand I have never been athletic. As a fibromyalgia person I know that the best treatment is exercise, but I do not feel better after I exercise so I shun it when possible. Even with this summer heat, I had FINALLY talked myself into doing this walking and now I am told to only wear open-toed shoes while my toes heal. Told to stop reaching for this mile a day goal. To get in a pool, or try an elliptical, ride a bike, i.e., find some other form of exercise besides walking. He warned me that if I do change this I could be seeing him in the future for toe amputations. NO diabetic wants to hear that, although Bob and the doc do joke that it might be easier to just cut off my feet.

Let nothing dim the light – Oh Lord! I need your help. And just to add injury to blisters, etc. I stepped down off a little foot stool and happened to step onto one of my shoes. As I went down I twisted toe #4 and #5 underneath my foot. Was not certain if I broke them or not. Purple and sore. When doc did the routine x-ray of that foot he could not see a fracture. Said there is a possibility there is a hairline one that the x-ray did not show. He wrapped it with brown stretchy tape (there is a name for that) and told me to check the toes when I got home to make certain there was no redness from the wrap. Then wrap them anytime I would be walking. By the time I got home I took that tape off because of throbbing toes! It has not been put on again.

So what does this mean in terms of the Maya Angelou quote? Let NOTHING dim the light.

 Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him JOB 13:15a

God has not kept my toes from blistering or my feet from having troubles. Even now, I will trust Him.

As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:36-39 NIV

Nothing can separate me from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. I wrote a prayer likely in 2020 and it still rings true today.

I have determined that this day, 
each time I am drawn up short by pain,
I will praise You
for I love You better than life -
even better than quality of life.

My mother had in her belongings “A Prayer for Those Growing Old.” One stanza read,

Seal my lips when I am inclined
to tell of my aches and pains.
They are increasing with the years
and my love to speak of them
grows sweeter as time goes by.

I write all of this to say if you are struggling with physical ailments try to keep Christ Jesus in mind. He never promised to heal every one of us during this lifetime. However, we are told in the book of Revelation that in the new heaven and new earth glorious things await us! There will be no more death, mourning, crying or pain (NIV). That is such a glorious thought it is almost inconceivable. I for one am willing to cling to those promises. Help me hang on to the end, Jesus.

Stay with each one of us, I pray. Fix our eyes on You and Your word. You promised You would never leave us or abandon us. Even to old age, and gray hair I will praise You and declare Your deeds (Psalm 71). You are worthy of our praise, all honor, glory and dominion. You have taught us there is so much more than just this physical life we know.

The lyric from “Show me Your Face” says I will make it to the end, If I can just see Your face, I know I will make it to the end, If I can just see Your face.

“Wherever Your glory is best served.” St. Ignatius prayer

Verses For Your Consideration

In light of yesterday’s post about the Ascension of Christ I want to share some Scriptures with you.

 So then, after the Lord had spoken to them, He was received up into heaven, and sat down at the right hand of God. 20 And they went out and preached everywhere, the Lord working with them and confirming the word through the accompanying signs. Amen. Mark 16:19 NKJV

This is Luke’s account of when Jesus faced the Sanhedrin. He declares His future place with the Father.

As soon as it was day, the elders of the people, both chief priests and scribes, came together and led Him into their council, saying, 67 “If You are the Christ, tell us.”

But He said to them, “If I tell you, you will by no means believe. 68 And if I also ask you, you will by no means answer Me or let Me go. 69 Hereafter the Son of Man will sit on the right hand of the power of God. LUKE 22:66-69 NKJV

So yes, the Lord is with us now through the Holy Spirit but He also has a place of authority with the Father.

Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Romans 8:34 NIV

The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word. After he had provided purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty in heaven. Hebrews 1:3 NIV

Ponder these things! They are the foundations of our faith of resurrection and ascension.

For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive in the Spirit. 19 After being made alive, he went and made proclamation to the imprisoned spirits— 20 to those who were disobedient long ago when God waited patiently in the days of Noah while the ark was being built. In it only a few people, eight in all, were saved through water, 21 and this water symbolizes baptism that now saves you also—not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge of a clear conscience toward God.  It saves you by the resurrection of Jesus Christ, 22 who has gone into heaven and is at God’s right hand—with angels, authorities and powers in submission to him. 1 Peter 3:18-22 NIV

Now the main point of what we are saying is this: We do have such a high priest, who sat down at the right hand of the throne of the Majesty in heaven. 12 But when this priest had offered for all time one sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God. Hebrews 8:1, 10:12 NIV

Jesus has accomplished for us a gift higher than we ever could have imagined in our longing for the heavenly places.

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Colossians 3:1 NIV

Stephanie Gretzinger sums it up beautifully for me with this lovely hymn by Graham Kendrick.

Heard This Song Last Sunday

It moved me to tears. Perhaps in the simplicity? The powerful truth? I pray you are blessed as I was. I have been listening to it repeatedly. Maybe you would benefit from that also?

I will come to you in the silence
I will lift you from all your fear
You will hear My voice
I claim you as My choice
Be still, and know I am near

I am hope for all who are hopeless
I am eyes for all who long to see
In the shadows of the night,
I will be your light
Come and rest in Me

Do not be afraid, I am with you
I have called you each by name
Come and follow Me
I will bring you home
I love you and you are mine

I am strength for all the despairing
Healing for the ones who dwell in shame
All the blind will see, the lame will all run free
And all will know My name

Do not be afraid, I am with you
I have called you each by name
Come and follow Me
I will bring you home
I love you and you are mine

I am the Word that leads all to freedom
I am the peace the world cannot give
I will call your name, embracing all your pain
Stand up, now, walk, and live

Do not be afraid, I am with you
I have called you each by name
Come and follow Me
I will bring you home
I love you and you are mine

Do not be afraid, I am with you
I have called you each by name
Come and follow Me
I will bring you home
I love you and you are mine


Album: You Are Mine/Best of David Haas Vol. 2

Released: 1995

Will you allow the Almighty to love you in this way? If not now, then when? I think these lyrics were truly inspired by God.

Have You Prayed This?

In this day and age most of us have heard of the “Serenity Prayer.” I wonder if you have read or prayed the prayer in its entirety as it was originally written?

The Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.


Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.


Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it be,


Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will,
That I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with Him forever in the next. Amen

Makes it different when you read the whole thing, doesn’t it? Thank you Reinhold for your contribution to our faith.

Should you want more information, there is a very long article on Wikipedia about his life, his beliefs and his service as a Pastor and Educator https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinhold_Niebuhr

“… trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will.”

That expresses a truckload of trust. Can you trust that much? Has God proven Himself trustworthy in your life, even if you did not get exactly what you wanted? Have you surrendered at each turn and twist as life unfolds?

“Reasonable happy in this life and SUPREMELY happy with Him forever in the next.”

I say Amen to those sentiments. Serenity, acceptance, courage, wisdom, living, enjoying, accepting, taking, trusting, surrender. Mr. Niebuhr (or is it Pastor, Professor?) presents us with things we can actually DO. Many people accuse Christianity of too many “Thou shalt nots.” These are things you are to do.

And we will, with God’s help!

The Human Soul

The human soul doesn’t want to be advised or fixed or saved. It simply wants to be witnessed – to be seen, heard and companioned exactly as it is. Parker Palmer

I might not agree with every word of the above quote, but isn’t it true of each of us? We just “want to be seen, heard and companioned?” Meeting my childhood friend for lunch was just such a blessing. We always manage to pick up right where we left off and we can share with each other and laugh and enjoy the company of the other knowing we are loved and accepted.

The Lord wants to save us and improve our life in every way that comes with salvation. Most of all our Creator is willing to see us, hear us and accompany us in all the paths of our life.

When I ask for advice the Lord is willing to send good counsel to me. Often my mistakes are not fixed but I am shown ways to gain forgiveness and make for change among those I may have injured or hurt.

To know and to be known, what a blessing!

I believe another thing we long for is for those around us to be sincere, trustworthy. Those qualities seem to be more difficult than every to find in this day and age. I am sickened and disgusted by the politicians who say this person is despicable and not trustworthy and in a matter of months change their tune to this person is the greatest ever! I do not want leaders that can change their tune rapidly especially when having power dangled before them as something they, too, might grasp. How are we to believe the claims that smack of insincerity? What ever happened to having principles and standing for them? There is a saying that if you stand for nothing you will fall for anything. So true.

I either need to stop watching television news or move to Canada. Not they don’t have their own troubles, but at least to me they would be new troubles. Lord, “Tell me Your secret, help me bear the strain of toil, the fret of care.”

Parker Palmer says when we make a deep bow to the soul of a suffering person our respect “reinforces the souls healing resources.” What are your resources? Mine reside in this verse.

 So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good. 1 Peter 4:19

Trust, trust. Be still and trust. Some days more difficult than others.

Do not lie, even to yourself written by Joan Cittister

Mahatma Gandhi wrote, “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” Gandhi could have been a Benedictine. Humility is about living an integrated life, a life in which each part is in harmony with every other dimension.
 
What we think, what we say, and the way we go about life cannot be well lived when they are in opposition to one another. When, in fact, they simply cancel one another out, there is no integrity left to any of them. The person who lives a lie, for instance, no matter how effective otherwise, is in tension every moment of the day. The person who pretends to be something they are not—wealthy, credentialed, in emotional control—cannot function openly anywhere.
 
The truth is that we are meant to be transparent. People, hearing what we say, should know what we think. Seeing what we do with our lives, people can infer what we care about and how we think about things. If we say one thing but think another, somewhere, somehow, it all begins to seep out. Worst of all, the burden of hiding exhausts a person from the soul on out.

Benedict in the chapter on humility is quite direct about the intertwined life of soul, body, and emotions as the measure of integrity, strength, serenity, and freedom. In the final step of humility, his clarity is so simple it is stunning. He writes: Our humility “is evident at the Opus Dei, in the oratory, the monastery, or the garden, on a journey or in the field, or anywhere else.”

The directions are achingly pure: Be what you say you are. Do not lie, even to yourself. Don’t live two lives—loving parent/missing parent; honest employee/cheating employee; devoted public servant/self-absorbed public servant. The truth is that egotism is the bane of community building. No one can build anything that lasts when the materials are bogus.

I give myself over to my faithful Creator, our faithful One. This is not an easy task when I am troubled and disturbed, but He makes a way where there seems to be no way. Help me, Lord, continue to do good.

Try to listen as far as 3:55. This refrain rings through my soul!

Stunned by Truth in This Prayer

One week Lectio 360 was focusing on different ways of knowing the Lord. Below are their words.

I find this is my heart’s cry as I try to write this blog

What I know of God will only be a fraction of who the Holy Trinity is. Oh that I might make clear the little part I have understood during my life!

This is what the Lord says:

“Let not the wise boast of their wisdom
    or the strong boast of their strength
    or the rich boast of their riches,
24 but let the one who boasts boast about this:
    that they have the understanding to know me,
that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness,
    justice and righteousness on earth,
    for in these I delight,”
declares the Lord.
Jeremiah 9:23-24 NIV

Father, I pray I am using my understanding to know You and the creation You have put before us for discovery of You and delight in Your creation. I pray You will continue to unfold the Scriptures for me. Holy Spirit continue to show and teach me the ways of the Almighty One.

May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. Galatians 6:14 NIV

When Bob lay dying 6 years ago I realized that no one could promise me he would survive the illness or that we would continue our marriage of so many years in the way we had become accustomed. When a woman hits a crossroads like that, for this woman at least, I had to realize that I must crucify my hopes and dreams and let the Lord Almighty have full control.

I began to approach the situation with stillness but no presumption that I in any way knew the ultimate result. Though I was often unconsciously holding my breath, there was a stillness in me. The stillness came with a peace that I recognized as coming from God. Reporting the day’s events and blood work results to prayer partners via email, without forecasting the next step or event or outcome was about my only “productive” output.

The stillness was related to Habakkuk 2:20 NRSV “But the Lord is in His holy temple; let all the earth keep silence before Him!” Another prayer that surfaced from the BCP “We do not presume to come to this Thy table trusting in our own righteousness but in Thy manifold and great mercies. We are not worthy so much as to gather up the crumbs under Thy table. But Thou are the same Lord whose property is always to have mercy.” (Holy Eucharist 1 P. 337)

Part of my struggle was yielding to the facts and in stillness letting my wishes die, placing my hope in the plans of the Almighty. I could not see the outcome at all, but I trusted His goodness and His love for both myself and my family. I learned that crucified you must hold perfectly still. Ephesians 3:16 helped me to trust more. “I pray that, according to the riches of His glory, He may grant that you may be strengthened in your inner being with power through His Spirit, and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, as you are being rooted and grounded in love.” I prayed for Bob and our children to be strengthened. I prayed for myself to be strengthened by His Spirit with power penetrating to my innermost being. Yes, crucified you must hold perfectly still. I was not “going” anywhere.

I had to hold still, let go of my wishes and dreams. Let God unfold the future before me. True surrender.

I am His child.

I have only learned a small fraction about Who my God is. I barely know the Trinity. I am willing to continue to learn. In many ways, I know that the lessons from the not too distant past will carry me to the very end of my days. May Christ be glorified in and through me, I pray.

Fan into Flame, Kindle Anew, Create Flames

For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. 2 Timothy 1:6 NIV

Have you? Do you know the gift God has given to you? Are you doing your best to fan it into flame?

God continues to give His believers a holy calling, His own purpose, the grace He gave us in Christ Jesus ages ago.

He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time 2 Timothy 1:9 NIV

That is why I would remind you to stir up (rekindle the embers of, fan the flame of, and keep burning) the [gracious] gift of God, [the inner fire] that is in you by means of the laying on of my hands [with those of the elders at your ordination]. Amplified 2 Tim 1:6

Next week will be confirmation at St. Timothy’s by the Bishop. Bob was amazed at his confirmation that not only did the bishop lay hands on his head, but he also gently slapped him. This practice is not always continued today. I thought it was wonderful! As if to say, “Grow up ! Take this seriously! You now belong to Christ and the devil will do whatever he can to take you back.” The really great news is that NOTHING can take us out of the hand of Jesus!

“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. 28 I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. 29 My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. 30 I and the Father are one.” John 10:27-30

So for me, stir up, set afire the embers, fan the flame, keep your gift from God burning is a lifelong call. Recently I heard the call again from the Lord and am actively listening for how He would like to use my writing. I publish this blog and invite you to use it freely. A friend in Lexington was so moved by my state of aging (https://wordpress.com/post/treasures-in-plain-sight.org/16426) that she took it to the women’s meeting at her church. They loved it and laughed out loud with understanding. Even her husband was getting comments and he told me he had nothing to do with it!

My goal is to get the writing out there in any way the Lord sees fit. So if I come to mind, please pray for wisdom to know what to do with this stuff. I have been told by many that I have a gift. I just want to Honor the Trinity with how I use it.

So true!

Change will come, whether we wish it to or not. To fight it is like fighting the sunrise. Better to say, “Ah, welcome old friend. Here you are again.”

BRUCE COVILLE

“Change, ah welcome old friend!” That would be a major leap for each of us, I think. I do not think I have EVER met a person who likes change, who craves it. And when change does come, it is usually unlike anything most of us have dreaded!

Maybe we can learn to say, “Blessed are you, O Lord our God, King of the universe, who brings change into our lives.” Does that stretch you too far? Perhaps you can write your own version for adapting to change with the help of the King of the universe?

All this reminds me of a passage from Psalms. To often we think if we follow God he will give us what ever we want. This passage does not dispel that thinking, but I believe that is a very shallow interpretation.

Delight yourself in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your hear
t. Psalm 37:4 NIV

To my way of believing it means if I follow God closely, and trust enough to learn to love Him, my desires will become His desires.

Martin Laird writes in A Sunlit Absence, “When we petition God for anything over a long period of time, something else begins to happen; we are brought into the depths of God and are joined with God’s will.”

If change has you faltering and stumbling perhaps it will take some time for you to embrace that change. Jesus eventually embraced the will of the Father concerning the cross. His heart turned to pleasing the Father in every instance. The cross was no different. His greatest goal seemed to be to delight the Father with obedience.

In a rather new song Abandoned by Benjamin William Hastings says ‘my one life endeavor to match your surrender to mirror not my will but yours.’ He goes on to say ‘completely, deeply, sold out completely abandoned, oh I surrender all. ‘ He describes all the ways we express our total relinquishment to the Almighty. Lyrics are below.

Verse 1  Something isn’t adding up
This wild exchange you offer us
I gave my worst, you gave your blood
Seems hard to believe

Verse 2
You’re telling me you chose the cross?
You’re telling me I’m worth that much?
Well, if that’s the measure of your love
How else would I sing but


Completely, deeply, sold out sincerely, abandoned
I’m completely, freely, hands to the ceiling enamored
Oh, my one life endeavor
To match your surrender
To mirror not my will but yours
Oh I’m completely, deeply, don’t care who sees me abandoned
Oh I surrender all (Oh)

[Verse 3: Brandon Lake
I just can’t get over it
What kind of self control is this
You had angels at your fingertips
But on the cross you remained, yeah

Verse 4:
And I can’t repay this kind of love
But I can praise with everything I got (Hey)
Since death had all its power robbed
Then just like the grave

Bridge
The whole of my heart
The best of my soul
Each phase of my life
Each breath in my lungs
Consider it yours Lord (Oh, it's yours)
Consider it yours Lord

The failures I hide
The victories I don’t
The battles I fight
Each crown that I hoard
Consider it yours Lord
Consider it yours Lord
All the glory forever
The grave that you won
The praise of the heavens
The kingdom to come
Consider it yours Lord
Oh, I know You'll never leave me abandoned ...