Sixty-four Years Ago

My Dad died so long ago and my mom almost as long ago (fifty years ago). It is sad when one can no longer remember traits of a parent. I know stories about them, but the actual sound of their voice or personal traits, not so much. In this day and age of digital recordings, hopefully some of you might have a copy of your parent’s voice?

If not, how do you fill that gap? At age eleven or twelve when I realized that no one could replace my Dad, I began to pursue God. Even that lofty pursuit left holes and tears in the fabric of my living.

I have learned that the Trinity loves me tenderly like a mother, shields me daily like a father.

“As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.” – Isaiah 66:13

“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing.” – Matthew 23:37

The term “El Shaddai” translates to “God Almighty” or “the God who is sufficient.” It originates from ancient Hebrew, where “El” refers to God, and “Shaddai” is thought to denote strength or mountains, symbolizing power and stability. Some scholars suggest “Shaddai” comes from the root word “shad,” meaning “breast,” emphasizing God’s nurturing and protective qualities. https://biblicalchronology.com/what-is-the-biblical-meaning-of-el-shaddai/

One of the best loved Psalms declaring God’s protection is 91.

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”

Surely he will save you
    from the fowler’s snare
    and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers,
    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night,
    nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
    nor the plague that destroys at midday.
A thousand may fall at your side,
    ten thousand at your right hand,
    but it will not come near you.
You will only observe with your eyes
    and see the punishment of the wicked.

If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”
    and you make the Most High your dwelling,
10 no harm will overtake you,
    no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
    you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

14 “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
    I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call on me, and I will answer him;
    I will be with him in trouble,
    I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him
    and show him my salvation.” Psalm 91 NIV

May you find nurture and protection, shelter and relationship in your fellowship with God.

Move A Snowflake

Saw this quote and wanted to share it.

Every avalanche begins with the movement of a single snowflake, and my hope is to move a snowflake.

THOMAS FREY

Doesn’t that make you want to DO something? This morning we are having our first snowfall of the season. It won’t accumulate much, but there is snow on the grassy places and on most every rooftop. Almost every plant is bowed over, not from the weight of the snow but the bitter cold. Wind chills are in the 20’s and teens. The birds are crowding the feeder.

Where do you need an avalanche in your sphere of influence? Can you attempt to move a snowflake and begin needed change? An avalanche is usually destructive, but what if that avalanche just clears away accumulated, unwanted debris?

Thomas Frey hopes to move a snowflake. What do you hope to do? Here is a little video from Nat Geo. Enjoy!

This leaf was the day before the snowfall. Yes, one was face up and next one was face down.

What would change if I moved some of the things cluttering up life? Bob cleans every drawer and closet annually. Not exactly an avalanche, but when I do it there tends to be a huge donation pile for Goodwill. As the weather brings us indoors more and more I look forward to moving some snowflakes and creating avalanches of unnecessary items to be taken out of here.

It is truly right, and good and joyful, to give you thanks, all-holy God, source of life and fountain of mercy. You have filled us and all creation with your blessing and fed us with your constant love; you have redeemed us in Jesus Christ and knit us into one body. Through your Spirit you replenish us and call us to fullness of life. The Great Thanksgiving, BCP

Yes, Father God, move heaven and earth to help us uncomplicate our lives and give more and more of our attention to the Holy Trinity. May we yield to you with grace and peace.

Our Brokenness

This sums up what I often try to express. Yes I used it another blog recently. Then it was posted on Gratefulness.org and I realized I had more I wanted to share on the topic.

Our brokenness is also the source of our common humanity, the basis for our shared search for comfort, meaning, and healing. Our shared vulnerability and imperfection nurtures and sustains our capacity for compassion.

BRYAN STEVENSON

I have a friend who has usually prided herself on her perfection. Make-up, clothing, hair, conversation topics at meals. I never measured up to her standards. Ever.

Recently she has had some changes in her life and consequently in her attitudes. This month we met for lunch. She gave me a card with this envelope. Told me that even her pen would not work correctly that morning.

initials for Molly Linda Cheryl Rush Dutina

Don’t you know this envelope made her even more endearing to me? I am by no means perfect in anything I do. Aren’t you relieved when you can be with someone who does not expect perfection from themselves or from you?

“Our common humanity, shared vulnerability and imperfection.” Oh, that we would each learn this lesson and approach one another as the plain human beings that we are! Flawed, yes. Honest, rarely. We need transparency with one another if our relationships are to thrive and grow.

“Our shared search for comfort, meaning, and healing.” What do you want the most in a friend? That is likely what they want most in their friendship with you!

I pray for the remainder of the year you can find ways to nurture and sustain your capacity for compassion. Then show that compassion to those around you. Amen.

Truly a challenge as the holidays approach!

Yes, Lord

When I was at the Convent November 9 for our JTIS meeting, I again remembered this prayer poem. Thirty one years later this is still my prayer.

Grow On! ©1994 by Molly Lin Dutina                

Wild the wind that sends the leaves aloft
Gleefully they chatter, “I’m free! I’m free!”
‘Falling’ leaves of autumn
Travel far from their beginning
Mixing with a flock of birds
As we, all earth bound, fail to see
Which is bird and which is leaf.

Mighty Force of God, capture me in Your updraft
Hurl me headlong in Your love
Drift me sideways with the angels
Take me far from all complacency
Where the familiar dulls my senses
Gently land me back at the place
On my Pilgrim Journey path where
You meet me with new courage
To grow on.

I wrote this while at the Convent of the Transfiguration in 1994. The wind caught the Japanese Maple leaves and the poem tells the rest of the story. I still need new courage to grow on. Lead me oh Thou Great Jehovah in your paths of truth and righteousness.

JTIS is our group for crochet, knit, any hand crafting an associate or friend wants to do. We started the group a decade or so ago. Most of us sat in silent retreat with one another, but did not know anything about each other. So we began with inviting the Cincinnati, (i.e., local) Associates of the Convent. The initials stand for Journey Together In Stitches. Not just sewing stitches, but laughter, too. Sadly, our group has begun to dwindle of late. One month another person and me were the only ones in attendance. This past week there was only one Associate and two sisters, another friend and me. I wonder if the group can be sustained?

I asked if anyone had any ideas how we might grow the group. I was told about the Methodists wanting to join communion with the Episcopalians. Perhaps we can invite Methodist women to join us?

I ask your prayer for this group to grow and prosper. We all need others to complete our walk. We need the stories of others. We need the encouragement of others. The joy and laughter cannot be substituted with things on line. The face-to-face meeting is special and to be cherished.

I know things change and evolve, but not everything needs to be thrown out. This fellowship has been working and in my opinion can continue to work for years to come. In AA they say, “Keep coming back. It works if you work it.” I pray the members of this group will return to coming back and working the magic of fellowship in Christ.

19 Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.

20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them. Matthew 18:19-20 KJV

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. Hebrews 10:24-25 NIV

 

Stand at the Crossroads/Come All Who Are Weary

Before I began my recent retreat I asked the Lord what my focus should be. The following verses are what I heard.

Thus says the Lord:
Stand at the crossroads and look,
    and ask for the ancient paths,
where the good way lies; and walk in it,
    and find rest for your souls.
But they said, “We will not walk in it.”
Jeremiah 6:16 NRSVUE

-and-

“Come to me, all you who are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 NRSVUE

The opening photo reminds me of the Jeremiah passage. Frequently in life we come to a crossroads. We have the choice how we respond. The people of God are instructed in this passage to stand (not run out there), look, ask for ancient paths, where the good way lies and THEN to walk in it. So fitting with me reading Practicing the Way by Mark Comer and trying to put it into practice. Going into silence at the Convent is one of the ancient paths that restores my soul. More than walking in it, it seems that sitting in the silence is my path at first, though walking the grounds in silence is also restorative.

Stand, Look, Ask also requires listening on my part. I want to follow after the Lord and not refuse to walk in the paths I am shown.

A favorite of mine! Hangs next to our bed!

And the second passage from Matthew? I could have spent the entire weekend on that one and not be finished. The Spirit did ask me to write down the things that made me weary from 2025. I filled several pages in a small journal. Those occurrences suddenly morphed into the things that brought me joy! I then added, “Lord, I am finding a sense of REST just writing out the burdens and blessings.” And so the weekend began. My eyes were opened to the continuous presence of the Lord and any blessings that came with the challenges. “Taking your yoke of the Way is helping me. Continue to help me LEARN from you. You are gentle and humble of heart.”

Remember I was looking for the obscure compline hymn? I found that recording on YouTube? I listened to the entire compline service and right there – in that service – they read Matthew 11:28-30. I was blessed, stunned and should not have been at all surprised that my steps were directed to that path!

What a mighty, caring, loving, attention to details God we serve. God is gentle and humble of heart and I am finding rest for my soul. My prayer is that you, also, will find rest for your soul in this mighty Savior.

Associates Retreat Weekend

When I went to the Associates retreat a over a week ago I was watching for my full stop. I consider the retreat a success when I finally put everything aside and come to a full stop before the Lord.

The material presented was not what I was expecting. Therefore, I was a little out of step.

The first day I was at the retreat house alone and totally enjoyed the deep silence. I provided my own meals and just got as quiet as I could, dropping cares and concerns as each hour slid past. I did some journaling, crochet, reading and just lots of rest.

Instead of the presentation being about centering prayer the couple, Peter and Nicole, presented us with ways to stay grounded even amidst our own worries, challenges and concerns. They even went so far as to ask us our concerns and then address those during the retreat! I found that both refreshing and kind.

The main words of emphasis were first, Awe or wonder, like Moses seeing the burning bush that did not burn up.

Awe, on the other hand, is the sense of wonder and humility inspired by the sublime or felt in the presence of mystery. … Awe, unlike fear, does not make us shrink from the awe-inspiring object, but, on the contrary, draws us near to it. This is why awe is comparable to both love and joy. God in Search of Man by Rabbi Abraham Heschel.

The next word was Grace. He likened it most to Exodus 34:6 when God’s presence passed before Moses. He reminded us that God physically turns towards us. God has preferences for those struggling with health issues, the marginalized, the ones society judges as “less than.” God is near though we at times do not recognize the Presence.

The final word was Hope. It was likened as a rope or lifeline to vulnerable people with promise of a future fulfillment. God’s outcome or plan is better than we can imagine. Remember that no matter what happens, God IS in control.

I connected with the wife of the retreat team. We both have had fibromyalgia for many years. We both struggle with the things fibro and aging bring our way. We laughed in the hallway about we should write a comedy book together about the challenges of fibro.

Nicole and me

Like most of my friends she is a bit shorter than me. That just tells me we fit together!

Practicing the Way

John Mark Comer has me on a growth course. I am trying to do his ‘first thing in the morning exercise.’ I get my coffee and sit in my prayer chair at the bedroom window. Lately I have been reviewing the day before briefly with the Lord. Then I ask for a Psalm or Scripture to focus upon. I pray that passage to God. I talk with God about my life. I listen for his voice and “attempt to just let go.” Comer goes on to instruct, “But most of the time I just sit there. I breathe. And I look at what my eyes can’t see.” Lately, I have taken that looking to mean adoration.

My journal entries from this practice have blessed and carried me throughout the day. I have returned to wearing my beaded bracelet that reads, “Constantly renewed immediacy.” When it rattles or gets my attention I do my best to renew my immediate awareness of the Lord’s presence.

The time flies past when I practice this. And it also takes almost no time at all! I am amazed and delighted. I refer to the daily Lectionary readings to find the psalm(s) of the day. Sometimes I use those. Or one of the readings, or we just sit together. Here is one entry from last week.

25-10-9 Awaken me to You

Lord the day has begun as a computer mess. Like a bucket of messy spaghetti poured all over the floor. I choose to let that distraction go and pray for you to “hold my face in your hands” as Stephanie sings in “When You’re This Close.” My heart’s desire is to know you as this close. I am dizzy with new drug dose. Getting 2 immunizations today and needing your touch with those. Protect me my Lord from side effects and reactions I pray. I already have a clenched stomach since yesterday.

I look to you as my healer. Psalm for the daily office – Ps 131

O Lord, my heart is not lifted up, my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me.
But I have calmed and quiet my soul,
Like a child at it’s mother’s breast
Like a child that is quieted is my soul.

But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
like a weaned child with its mother;  my soul is like the weaned child that is with me.
O Israel hope in the Lord from this time forth and for evermore.



As I still my soul and make it quiet I realize it is drugged and bleary. Lord hold me close. Awaken me to your presence and your care. I want to be aware of you. Like Brother Lawrence I want to be aware of your closeness and touch. I want to hear your voice saying turn to the right or turn to the left. Isa 30:21

I wait and listen for you now. As I got still I heard,

This is just a season, an episode, like a cloud passing over the earth, an occurrence that will pass. Wait it out with expectations for great things, not doom. Look to me and be radiant.   (Ps 34)

You are a good, good Father. Even as I read out to Pastor Brad (at Bible study last night so he could write them on the white board) what the psalms were for today I did not catch 131 as one of my favorites. Even as I typed it and read it with bleary eyes it did not register until I had the computer read it back to me this morning, until you encouraged me with “wait it out with great expectations.” O Lord forgive me for gloom and help me to fix my eyes upon you with great expectations. The Insight meditation about letting go of control brought me ‘round to facing you fully and being held in your arms of love. I am going to be okay.

EXPECTATIONS FOR GREAT THINGS, NOT DOOM

7:14AM new bird call, still seems dark. Not new, Merlin Bird ID says little Carolina Wren singing praises.

So I went into that day trying to calm and quiet my soul. Waiting upon the Lord with expectations for great things. The next day I had to remember the message I heard from this day as the side effects of the immunizations kicked in. One evening Bob and I both felt just lousy and went to bed early, but we tried not to let that get us down. The immunization side effects have lessened now. The new drug dose, well, I still am not accustomed to it. Hopefully I will adjust soon!

Have you tried this method of starting your day? Have you written down the experience. I strongly encourage both. I never do this with the idea of sharing with anyone else. I do it for myself. Though sometimes, I am asked to let you glimpse what happens between my Lord and me. I hope those glimpses encourage you to try this sort of practice. God is no respecter of persons. He will help you and bless your attempts to practice his presence.

Finally Rain!!

My journal entry 25/10/07

I am waiting to hear it. Supposed to rain all day long! I am eager to listen to it. Hoping Lori can work from home with the window open. I told her when I walk the dog I will be tempted to just stand in the rain without a raincoat!

In the center down silence
At the altar within my heart
I come to adore You and listen for Your voice

As the rains come down from heaven
and water the earth
And do not return empty
So is my word which goes forth

For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven
    and do not return there until they have watered the earth,
making it bring forth and sprout,
    giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,
11 so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;
    it shall not return to me empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose
    and succeed in the thing for which I sent it.
Isa 55:10-11 NRSVUE

And I listen …it is here…Drip, splatter, patter, drop, wash. Prayers answered. Leaves dip as they are washed, grass bends as ground absorbs. Blue jay continues to sing from some place as Cardinal calls. Rain continues, individual drops that in the gutter form a rush of water.

Individual drops that form a cloud, pour out and fill the dry place to make a puddle. Individual drops that converge on one place and transform that place into something new.

Individuals that are transfigured into something new. Leaves in the garden seem to wave at me. Then the rush of rain changes to a torrent from the sky. How do the birds navigate through that while being pelted on the head? 

Come Lord, rain upon me and change me too.
Fern frond twitches
Not a rabbit, rain.
Lily pads at the pond ...

My poem from long ago rings true today in my heart.

The rain gauge tells me 2-1/4 inches have fallen so far. I will gladly walk the dog in this rain we have needed so very desperately. We have a neighbor who calls with some regularity to find out how much rain our gauge has collected. I considered buying him a rain gauge, but then we might never hear from him!!

Lord, this rain is wonderful to us. My friend just texted it is heavenly. I so agree.

Poetic Phrases

Walking Lucky around the pond one early morning these words filled my head as I saw the glistening surface of the water.

The pond seems to be sparkling,
Just tadpoles kissing the surface.
Father make me sparkle as I reach to kiss You, I pray.



Watching the autumn leaves out the window during prayer time I wrote:
The gentle breeze here is loosening the leaves.
They drift to the ground.
Reminds me to release burdens and

move into a new season.
We breathe in the new day, exhale the old burdens.


Have you turned random moments into prayer? I believe each of us can! What would this image have you pray?

The Burr Oak tree out our front window has delighted me this autumn. During the summer the leaves were so thick we could not see the little birdhouse hanging there. Then the tree began to drop leaves. The mowers have cleaned up fallen leaves from under it at least twice. Today it is green, though the leaves are more sparse than in the summer.

It is almost as if she declares, “Steady as she goes!” Let’s not have too much autumn too soon! Besides it is still running in the high 80s here. They promise us a change in temperatures this week. Once again, I am not holding my breath on that!

We can see the bird house clearly now. I do not think any birds were housed there this year. Seems I would have noticed with all the feeders and activity that occurs at times. As the Burr Oak continues to lose her leaves I will once again be reminded of the Brother Lawrence revelation about a tree in winter. Until then I am delighted by the lingering green.

Nothing gold can stay, Frost taught me
so the mighty sycamore tree
in form of tiny leaf
shows me how to change
from green to gold to brown
and be refreshed with drops of golden rain
as I rest upon the ground
be still my soul
~Molly Lin Dutina
(For photo above)

A Look

Many people are credited with the wisdom about prayer that says, “I look at Him. He looks at me, and we are happy.”

St. Therese of Lisieux is quoted as saying, “For me, prayer is a surge of the heart; it is a simple look turned toward heaven, it is a cry of recognition and of love, embracing both trial and joy.”

It is said about a farmer. It is said about an old man who went to church everyday and just seemed to be sitting in the pew. Finally the priest asked him what he was doing. He replied, “I look at Him. He looks at me, and we are happy.”

and we are happy

Have you tried this? Remember John Mark Comer wrote, “Because it’s here – looking at God, God looking at us, in love – that we are happy, that we are most free, content, at rest, at ease, grateful, joy filled and alive.”

I challenge you to try practicing this for a full week. Spend several minutes every day simply looking towards the King of kings and letting the King look at you. Be at peace and be happy there. Then, as our weatherman is fond of saying, “Rinse and repeat.” Do it tomorrow and the next day and the next. This too is a valuable form of prayer!

“In returning and rest I am saved, In quietness and trust is my strength.” Isaiah 30:15a