Category: Spiritual discipline

Posted on in Challenge, Faith, Illness and Health, Listen, medical treatment, Obedience, Rest, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Trust, Yield

Uncertainty

Many world religions teach us the importance of learning how to live with uncertainty. Most of us are not very good at it! I read this quote recently from Gratitude. It hit me right where I have been living.

Peace is an invitation in daily life to breathe deep, right here, in the uncertainty. Morgan Harper Nichols

Learning to live with the knowledge that I have a large aortic aneurysm has been difficult and very unsettling. Knowing my God calls me to a life of peace has me wondering how to tap this particular dance. (My sister took tap lessons, not me. I remember her reciting shuffle-ball-step.)

My Internist convinced me that I cannot continue to live in this high state of stress. Doing so for 2 months has caused a massive, ugly fibromyalgia flare. Fibro is a nasty condition addressed in other blog pages. Suffice it to say my body became a train wreck.

I began returning to some of the best teachers I know regarding good mental health. Rick Hanson.net has many resources from this renowned Psychologist. One of his books came to me by way of my sister. I passed it along to my granddaughter. Now I am buying another one for myself!

Resting in Calm Strength: When you recognize that you are basically all right in the present moment, you can release unnecessary anxiety. This isn’t about denying real threats or challenges but rather about not letting anxiety run the show when you are, in fact, safe.

I have prayed and asked the Lord for help with all of this. Deliverance came with realization that this aneurysm may have been present for decades! Now that we are aware of of it, doctors can monitor and treat it. Yes, I very likely will need open heart surgery at some time in the future, but I am in fact all right now.

This is not to say I will remain calm and full of equanimity when the time comes to book that surgery. It just says I can cope in the here and now – this moment – without dwelling in that high anxiety constantly. Perhaps with practice I will be able to face the surgery with peace and calm? The hard work of re-framing all of this plus the three blood pressure medications they have me on seem to finally be bringing my blood pressure down. Now, to maintain those lower numbers!

It has been difficult, but not impossible to let go of those aneurysm thoughts. With practice and diligence I have been able to lay most of them aside. I realized browsing though Hansen’s webpages that I had used the old, ugly habit of rumination with the aneurysm. Rumination is based on negative, obsessive thoughts and it drags me down to the lowest places. Here is a blog entry I wrote about it in 2022. https://treasures-in-plain-sight.org/2022/07/21/rumination/

So I have signed up for his 5 week course entitled Breaking Out of Rumination. Dr. Hanson says that rumination “is very normal, and problematic in the extreme.” I am looking forward to getting a handle on how to stop myself from this habit. I likely learned it from my family of origin – that inability to let something go – just hashing and re-hashing it over and over again. Plus, more good news, when I actually went to sign up the course was half-off!

My writing may drop to 4 blogs a week as I put more work into preparing the poetry for publication. I am also pulling blog entries to try to organize into booklets for publication. Yes! I found an editor and now need to apply myself to the new work of compiling, editing for my part, sending them to her for edits, revising, preparing for publication, open an Amazon self-publishing account, etc.etc.

That certainly gives me other things to think about. My Internist encouraged me to put my focus there!

You will keep in perfect peace
    those whose minds are steadfast, {staid on Thee}
    because they trust in you. Isaiah 26:3 NIV

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Faith, Journal, Memories, Nature, Prayer, Rest, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Yield

Treasures Better Than Topkapi

This is truly not prayer for a burglar’s success from the movie Topkapi of 1964! There is an image though that came to me during meditative prayer. The image involves the robber dropping down from the glass ceiling and carrying a knife in his teeth.  His goal is to steal a dagger encrusted with jewels and replace it with a fake dagger. In 1991 I attended at retreat at the Convent of the Transfiguration. What follows is my journal entry.

Sister Margaret taught, “There aren’t any conditions of prayer. There are some things we can do to become more receptive to God. We can wait and desire God in hopeful expectation.” She taught about God’s Presence as a jewel, prayer as a treasured jewel.

Then we had a time of meditation and prayer – meditative prayer. Winfield Blevins says, “In personal prayer we speak to God, but in meditative prayer we allow God to speak to us through His word and His Spirit.” (I would add that God speaks to us, too, through images we can relate to.)

 So during that retreat of November,1991 I envisioned and wrote:

 “I see the treasure, 
as jewels in a case, 
the multi-faceted beauty of 
God’s love and wisdom.

As in Topkapi, the lid is lifted 
and I enter the treasures of His Glory 
as a frog enters a pond.

 I go to what others believe is the bottom 
 and as I still my soul, 
 the treasure box opens 
 and I drop 
 as a rough stone 
 through the beauteous treasure 
of His wisdom and glory, 
into the depth of His love.

 I may stop for a while
 but it is as if I am merely perched 
 on a ledge 
 for I have yet to comprehend 
 the depth or length or height 
 of His love. 

 I wait on that ledge,
 rooted and grounded in love 
 absorbing massive quantities of nourishment 
 silently.”

I rejoice over Your promise like one who finds vast treasure. Psalm 119:162 HCSB

-you are being rooted and grounded in love.  I pray that you may have the power to comprehend, with all the saints, what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:17b-19 NRSV

So many  years have passed since I wrote that. I have learned so much about my God and prayer, yet I still have so very much to learn! And oh the glory of His treasures! I cannot emphasize that too much!  Dropping down into silence and prayer is NEVER a waste of our time.

I read the following from an online entry at https://lifehopeandtruth.com/change/christian-conversion/armor-of-god/sword-of-the-spirit/ The writer said:

“The sword used by Roman soldiers was a short sword known as a gladius; and in the hands of a skilled man, it was a fearsome weapon. In fact, it became known as the sword that conquered the world. It was sharpened on both sides, making it lethal against an unarmored foe. The point was also sharpened, enabling it to pierce armor.

“Usually around 20 to 30 inches long, the gladius was not the medieval-style long sword usually associated with the armor of God.

“This Roman sword was light (around 2 pounds), short and designed to be wielded easily with one hand while the other hand grasped the shield. Its size meant it could be drawn in close quarters, and its sharpened edges made it a threat to any enemy who got too close.”

Perhaps that vision of the bejeweled dagger in Topkapi was not too far off! I saw the movie and decades later one scene came in my meditative prayer time. I have never forgotten that experience. Now I am writing this out for you. Below is a clip of the movie scene.

May you discover the treasures of prayer as you drop into the deeper layers of knowing our God.

Posted on in Art, Challenge, Illness and Health, Just do it, Listen, Prayer, Rest, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Thanks, Trust, Yield

God the Artist

The opening drawing is a take off on Scripture. My point is this is someone’s artwork. It reflects God’s power in creation. It is also a reflection of the work of the Trinity in our lives, if we will yield to the work of the Word.

Have you had a glimpse of the masterpiece God is making with your life? Do you know that the Creator who made the seasons is also making you into a masterpiece?

I recently saw a pen and ink drawing and was hit by the thought, 

"You, Lord, are drawing the lines, 
etching the picture, 
planning my future, 
equipping me to yield 
in gentle and quiet obedience."
drawing the lines
etching the picture

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 2 Peter 1:3 NIV

Let your adornment be the inner self with the lasting beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:4 NRSVUE

My thanks to Juan D. for the first photo portion and M. Linda McLaughlin for the second. The opening sketch is from the J. S. Paluch Company.

For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven
    and do not return there until they have watered the earth,
making it bring forth and sprout,
    giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,
11 so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;
    it shall not return to me empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose
    and succeed in the thing for which I sent it. Isaiah 55:10 NRSVUE

Are you yielding to the plan? Is your goal that gentle and quiet spirit of obedience?

Posted on in Aging, Faith, Poetry, Prayer, Rest, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Surrender, Trust

Poetry From 1985

I have had several nights lately when I wake up and try to quell the mind racing. Here is a reflection after a sleepless night from long ago.

Eleven Fifty-three Post Meridiem © 1985 Molly Lin Dutina

Night time and the Unresolved
Come marching to my bedroom
Tramping through my head
Hurling accusations
Quoting words once said
Reason takes a low profile
While logic flees the scene
Where is the solution 
For circumstances now turned mean

Never, shoulds, and woulds
Paint dismal, hopeless scenes
Understanding vanishes
Deep each insult bleeds.

Forgiveness is the answer
That makes the war to cease.
Let it go.    Let go.    Release.
Present moment calls to me
Be NowHere in God's sweet peace

A song can be resung
The past can't be undone
But pouring in forgiveness
The fall-out is made numb

Come to here and now
Feast on today's plenty
In gratitude for all
Dare to now drink deeply 
From streams of joy and love 

We are granted 
Only to 
"Live our lives by moments"
Aren't we now

Yes these days I am wrestling with a different sort of Unresolved. The truth of moment by moment living still holds the same truth!

One night I awoke and tried to pray Saint Patrick’s breastplate. After years of knowing and praying it, and reciting it I struggled to remember the words. Here is one version of that prayer.

I arise today through a mighty 	
strength, the invocation of the Trinity,	
through belief in the Threeness,	
through confession of the Oneness 	
towards the Creator.	
	
Christ with me, Christ before me, 	
Christ behind me,	 
Christ above me,	
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,	
Christ where I lie, Christ where I sit,	
Christ where I arise,	
Christ in the heart of every 	     
person who thinks of me,	
Christ in the mouth of every 		
person who speaks of me,		
Christ in every eye that sees me,	 
Christ in every ear that hears me.		
I arise today through a mighty strength, 		
the invocation of the Trinity...

Whatever happens to be going on in your mind in the middle of the night, I pray you can rest well!

In peace I will lie down and sleep,
    for you alone, Lord,
    make me dwell in safety. Psalm 4:8 NIV

Posted on in Challenge, Faith, Illness and Health, Just do it, Obedience, Praise, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Thanks, Trust, Writing Life, Yield

Using My List of Verses

For a while my writing may be hit or miss. This morning was taken up with going for blood work, dropping off papers at dermatology office, etc. Needed the blood work for the newest blood pressure medication they put me on. Yep, still trying to get my blood pressure down to where the cardiologist wants it. I accidentally let my subscription for Taltz run out. Of course! That required filling out paperwork, getting dermatologist to fill out her two pages and fax it all to Lilly Cares. Hoping they can get my medication here before I need the next injection ! I do not need psoriasis to flare up with all this other stuff going on.

A few days ago I listed verses that are helping me cope with the medical unknowns and my frame of mind. I never really mentioned how I use those verses. Yes, I read them over regularly, but I apply them at random times. I have never thought of myself as a person who worries a lot, at least, compared to my mother. Her anxiety was something to behold!

This unexpected report that I have some different sorts of heart troubles have set me to worrying, when I allow myself. So how to stop that? Well, first of all I have to become aware of the worrisome thought. When I can catch myself worrying I have begun stopping and asking the thought, “Are you from God?” If the answer is not yes, then I go to Corinthians where we are told to take every thought captive to Christ Jesus.

2 Corinthians 10:5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

When I used to teach this verse in Bible study classes more often than not someone would ask, “Every thought?” I am re-learning that I certainly need to take captive the ones sent to torment me. None of us have any control over the things that will happen to us. So if I fret and get concerned over where all this is going with tests and possible open heart surgery I can work myself up into a high state of anxiety. That helps nothing!

After I send a thought packing to King Jesus, (and it MUST go as a captive of Jesus), I purposefully begin praising Him for being my companion and Savior. Such a Good Shepherd! He makes a way where there seems to be no way, just like His Father.

See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:19 NIV

There are many verses that talk about God making a way where there seems to be no way. God also changes situations that seem to be unchangeable. So we hope. We pray. We cling, knowing that we are never left on our own. Regardless of the outcome we walk with a mighty God!

Next Monday I have the Cardiac MRI, so with fasting, etc. I am unlikely to be writing on that day for posting next week, unless I get it done over the weekend. All prayers appreciated!!

Holy God, 
Holy Mighty, 
Holy Immortal, 
have mercy on us.

The Ancient Trisagion

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Faith, Illness and Health, Just do it, Listen, Obedience, Praise, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Trust, Yield

Did I Take Enough Care?

Many years ago I found this statement and put it into cross stitch. “Self Care is not selfish.” This was crucial for me as I ventured into healing from a family of alcoholism and criticism. A friend who was enrolled in Weight Watchers loved it and needed to hear it, too. I eventually threw it in a drawer and come across it from time to time.

Saint Francis is quoted as saying at the end of his life that he wished he had taken better care of Brother Ass. That was his name for his body. He participated in many methods of extreme ascetic practices. I never did that, but my Brother Ass could have used more tender loving care. I tried to cling to Paul’s verse, but was never good at it for very long.

but I pommel my body and subdue it, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified. 1 Corinthians 9:27 RSV

On the other hand, I live in America and am overfed and under exercised. I can give you whole lists of reasons trying to justify my lack of consistent exercise, but that is not my point. Did I take enough good care of myself? Probably not.

Self-care is never a selfish act – it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others. -Parker Palmer

This heart health crisis shows me that no, I did not do all that I should have to take care of myself. I worked hard on my emotional health, psychological health, spiritual health, but more than likely my physical health went by the wayside. Yes, I adapted healthy recipes and tried not to feed our family things known to be unhealthy. But physical self-care for me? Not much of a priority.

Brother Lawrence taught me that “Useless thoughts spoil everything and much mischief begins there. We ought to reject them as soon as we perceived their impertinence and return to our communion with God.” So I speak with God about these failures in my past and accept forgiveness. Then move back into communion with Him: speaking to Him, my heart open towards the Trinity. Guilt and shame only get me stuck in the muck.

All we have is now. That is why it is called the present. The present moment of seeking the Holy One, staying with thoughts of compassion, love unconditional and infinite, intimate knowledge.

I am already making dietary changes from regular brewed coffee ( I love it!) to espresso or tea. I need to find a tasty decaf coffee at the store. From regular tea to decaf only. (What do I do with those Starbucks dollars in my account? I can hear my husband saying he will use them to buy desserts or sandwiches there!)

You know your own weakness, be it not enough exercise or too much caffeine and/or sugar. Are you giving enough thought to your own self-care in all aspects of your life? I am praying you find a balance for each one. Below is a chart from the Mayo Clinic to help you get started. It does not show the grams of carbs. I won’t get started on that! I left off the part about energy drinks. I do not use them, but they are loaded with caffeine on purpose!

Coffee drinksSize in oz. (mL)Caffeine (mg)
Brewed8 (237)96
Brewed, decaf8 (237)2
Espresso1 (30)64
Espresso, decaf1 (30)0
Instant8 (237)62
Instant, decaf8 (237)2
TeasSize in oz. (mL)Caffeine (mg)
Brewed black8 (237)47
Brewed black, decaf8 (237)2
Brewed green8 (237)28
Ready-to-drink, bottled8 (237)19
SodasSize in oz. (mL)Caffeine (mg)
Citrus (most brands)8 (237)0
Cola8 (237)22
Root beer (most brands)8 (237)0

Embrace the gift of today with open communication with the Lord, a clean slate, sins recognized and forgiven, moving on in the present with the Presence and into a bright future.

If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord; so then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s. Romans 15:8 NRSVU

Posted on in Challenge, Collection of Quotes, Faith, Just do it, Listen, Obedience, Poetry, Rest, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Thanks, Yield

Rumi and Church

During a church discussion this theme arose without the poem below being read. Bob and I had not yet watched the movie in reference.

One woman mentioned how the movie Moana in 2016 was a guide to her when in a distressful situation, again I was convicted with the certainty that God will use anything to help and guide us. I spoke of the power of Radical Acceptance, a book by a Buddhist psychologist. When I read portions of the book later in the week and this poem, the pieces fell into place.

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Radical acceptance, can mean entertaining unexpected visitors. Rumi says I am to meet them at the door laughing and invite them in. Things happen to all of us that are unforeseen and can knock us out of our orbit. Do we resist like a stubborn donkey? or yield to the reality of what is and move forward? I cannot say I am able to meet the unexpected at the door and laughing, let them in. But I will learn to with God’s help!

At this website https://fivefortheroad.com/lessons-learned-disneys-moana/She writes the theme of Moana is self discovery and finding your way. She goes on to say family is so important, it’s okay to fail, follow your heart, and be brave.

I would add that whoever or whatever shows up at your door, do as Rumi says and entertain them all! Find your way through any upheaval with the help of the Lord. He is a Good Shepherd and knows every situation before we do, and He is not surprised or taken aback by anything.

Unlike me, I have an unruffled Father!

“In returning and rest I am saved, in quietness and trust will be my strength.” Isaiah 30:15a adapted. Keep still.

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Just do it, Listen, Nature, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Thanks, Yield

Braiding Sweet Grass

Ever since we traveled repeatedly to the areas of New Mexico I have been interested in American Indian life and lore. Actually, as a child my parents took us to Carlsbad Caverns National Park and that began my fascination. As we passed through Oklahoma and the plains states I became more aware of the Native Americans.

I recently came across this book Braiding Sweet Grass by Robin Wall Kimmerer. To me, she has such impressive titles to her credit! She is a mother, scientist, decorated professor, and enrolled member of the Citizen Potawatomi Nation. This is her second book. I saw it first in a national park bookstore. I was able to obtain it recently through our local library.

When we were in New Mexico I bought some braided sweet grass. It has several ceremonial uses. I have started to use it in the house only during spring and summer when we can have the windows open. I think it would be such fun to grow my own sweet grass and braid it. Have not explored that yet.

This section of the book links the lore to the science discussed in the video segment below. It just delights me!

In the old times, our elders say, the trees talked to each other. They’d stand in their own council and craft a plan. But scientists decided long ago that plants were deaf and mute., locked in isolation without communication. The possibility of conversation was summarily dismissed. Science pretends to be purely rational, completely neutral, a system of knowledge-making in which the observation is independent of the observer. And yet the conclusion was drawn that plants cannot communicate because they lack the mechanisms that animals use to speak. The potentials for plants were seen purely through the lens of animal capacity. Until quite recently no one seriously explored the possibility that plants might “speak” to one another.

There is now compelling evidence that our elders were right – the trees are talking to one another. They communicate via pheromones, hormonelike compounds that are wafted on the breeze, laden with meaning. …. The trees in a forest are often interconnected by subterranean networks of mycorrhizae, fungal strands that inhabit tree roots. Robin Wall Kimmerer

Once on a PBS show I learned about this fungi in the soil that makes it possible for trees to communicate with one another. https://www.pbs.org/video/fungi-help-trees-talk-pyxfdv/

The printed book, Braiding Sweet Grass, is 380-some pages long. I am not likely to finish it right now, but I wanted to bring it to your attention. Perhaps this sort of reading appeals to you, too? Maybe I will read it in full at a later time.

I think it would be absolutely delightful if communication between humans happen this way! Perhaps they do? There are times I will see a car that reminds me of someone. Sometimes I see that same sort of car 4 times in a single day. The first time I likely just think of that person. The second time I pray for them. The third and fourth time I am likely to text and ask if they are okay, letting them know I am lifting them in prayer. I firmly believe that God can use anything to further His kingdom. anything to get my attention and propel me towards obedience. Perhaps this a supernatural root system created between people through the power of the Holy Spirit? The Creator of the Universe could do that!! A supernatural root system between humans.

Irregardless of proof or no proof, yield to the Lord and do not neglect when the Holy Spirit puts someone on your heart or in your mind. We likely will never know this side of heaven the power of such obedience!

Therefore confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The prayer of the righteous is powerful and effective. James 5:16

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Faith, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Yield

Lectio 365 January 2025

The app that offers prayer 3 times a day had this prayer one morning.

God of every blessing, as I meditate on your word, would you prune my priorities, refine my character and realign my desires. Shape my life so that I more clearly resemble my King and more sincerely live for his kingdom.

Prune my priorities. Oh Lord, cut away what is not truly important!

Refine my character. You know what sandpaper and oils I need to change, to please You the most.

Realign my desires. I cannot see which ones are faulty on my own. Help me, I pray.

Shape my life. Help me look more like You, not only reflecting Your glory but bearing Your family resemblance.

Help me live more sincerely for Your Kingdom.

There is a family at church with two daughters. They look so much like their mother it is almost startling! And I am jealous. My children do not look much like me.

Most of all I want to look like my God and Father. I will, with God’s help. Prune, shape, realign, mold, fashion me as Yours, Lord. Be it unto me according to You will and ways. Amen.

Posted on in Aging, Faith, Family, Memories, Obedience, Praise, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Trust, Yield

Psalm 27

Is there a Psalm that claims your heart above others? I first took this Psalm to heart in about 1967. I had by then joined the Episcopal church. There are many lines that I could eventually relate to. Coming to know the Lord as my light, a light upon my path was wonderful. As you likely know the teenage years are tumultuous. This Psalm helped anchor me. Plus my family was headed for shipwreck, though early in the year we did not realize that.

The Lord is my light and my salvation—
    whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
    of whom shall I be afraid?

2 When the wicked advance against me
    to devour me,
it is my enemies and my foes
    who will stumble and fall.
3 Though an army besiege me,
    my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
    even then I will be confident.

4 One thing I ask from the Lord,
    this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
    all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the Lord
    and to seek him in his temple.
5 For in the day of trouble
    he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent
    and set me high upon a rock.

6 Then my head will be exalted
    above the enemies who surround me;
at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy;
    I will sing and make music to the Lord.

7 Hear my voice when I call, Lord;
    be merciful to me and answer me.
8 My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
    Your face, Lord, I will seek.
9 Do not hide your face from me,
    do not turn your servant away in anger;
    you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
    God my Savior.
10 Though my father and mother forsake me,
    the Lord will receive me.
11 Teach me your way, Lord;
    lead me in a straight path
    because of my oppressors.
12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
    for false witnesses rise up against me,
    spouting malicious accusations.

13 I remain confident of this:
    I will see the goodness of the Lord
    in the land of the living.
14 Wait for the Lord;
    be strong and take heart
    and wait for the Lord.

Salvation is being preserved from danger, loss or harm. There are so many themes and images in this Psalm. Whew! How to narrow it down to my story. My father had died about 6 years earlier. My mother had remarried. My sister and I had no memory of this man from earlier in our life. He had values very different from the ones we had been raised with thus far. Within a few years my sister was in deep trouble. I sought counseling at Family Services because I was clueless how to negotiate the troubles. Eventually the family had a blow up. I ended up in Juvenile Court where the counselor and the judge decided what to do with me. My mother and step-father concocted a story about my sister and me beating our mom and trying to steal her car to run away. It was ridiculous. My mother had a condition called Purpura. If anyone squeezed her arm too hard she would bruise. They presented the court with photos of her arms. We had never laid a hand upon her. Ever. I was literally caught in the mess. The judge decided against my parents and I was made a ward of the court for the few months remaining until I turned 18. The counselor told me I won. It did not feel like winning.

Yes, my mother and stepfather did forsake me. I went to live with the family of a friend until my classes at the University of Cincinnati began. My tuition, room and board had already been paid for the first year. When I eventually moved to the university housing, I left the church but took Jesus with me. I could not reconcile the experience I was living with what seemed like the hunky-dory life for the parishioners. It was many years before I realized that each of us is broken. Some just hide it better than others.

Now, 58 years later, I understand the Psalm and broken people better than I did at that young age. I also know that the Lord took me to His heart when my parents forsook me. We have remained close ever since. Cling to the LORD in all situations!