I try to write every Monday and Tuesday mornings to post on this blog throughout the week. Many times during the week I will rough draft an idea to work on. Not this week!
I spent Thursday working with my dear friend Dana to begin printing, punching and assembling the poetry books. That took much longer than anticipated. We had completed none of them. Many were in various stages of production. She met me Friday morning with some completed books. I went to the Convent for the weekend retreat delighted to have a few copies in hand. One gal lives in Chattanooga and I knew I would see her at the retreat. I wanted to get a copy to her so we would not have to ship it!
The editor for the book about prayer gave me information about next steps towards getting that ready for publication. I just never quite realized all the work that occurred after the actual writing! I spent part of the weekend trying to plan the order the 31 selections should appear in the finished book. She also wants an “About the author” page and a Preface. I had a rough draft for the Preface, but hesitated on “About the author.” Bob agreed to do the first draft for me and then we can work on it together. I need to decided if the photos I chose can be printed in black and white. The color photos will make the book cost more. Aye yai yai!
And I just needed to get still and quiet. I had asked the Lord on Thursday to help me direct my heart and mind to Him over the weekend. (The editor taught me that capitalizing pronouns that refer to God is not correct, but I have always done it as a way to show respect! I have to decide if I want her to change that or not.) I realized with all these decision and things looming I needed help. The Lord referred me back to Psalm 131 again. I was instructed to write part of it out in longhand, I do not do that much anymore because arthritis has ruined my handwriting.
My heart is not proud, Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. 2 But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content. Psalm 131: 1-2 NIV
I am not to think about things I cannot control. I am not to think about things too wonderful for me. (Thus I hired an Editor!) It is up to me to calm and quiet myself. So I set about doing just that. You might want to copy those two verses and ponder how they apply to your life right now!
Before I left on Friday morning another Psalm came to mind. Years ago I wrote in my bible “Vulnerability, Untd.” next to Psalm 34.
I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth. 2 My soul makes its boast in the Lord; let the afflicted hear and be glad. 3 O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together!
4 I sought the Lord, and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. 5 Look to him, and be radiant; so your faces shall never be ashamed. 6 This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles.
It is hard with this Psalm to know when and where to stop when choosing a selection! I made it my business to spend the weekend trying to bless the Lord at all times and continually have His praise in my mouth. It can be powerful to turn to this practice and turn off worries and distractions.
Walking I saw places of such quiet!
Quiet flowers, I just love the sun through the purple petalsQuiet Dogwood
I have promised only a few people a printed copy of the poetry. I realized while in retreat that I can offer anyone who wants it an electronic copy! If they want, they may print it out for themselves, or simply print the selections they desire. What a relief! Bob continues to wonder if I should have planned to have the poetry printed through Amazon Direct Publishing. The way we are doing it right now the material remains free to others though costly to produce.
I was told by reputable sources instead of giving the poetry away for free I should ask for a charitable donation. I am doing that through the West Clermont local school district. The donations will go towards the Paid Student Lunch Charges. Many families today have to decide whether to pay for their power bill or pay the school for the lunch program. There are thousands of dollars of lunch debt in almost every school district. I think the children should receive food. With all of the government cutbacks there is likely to be even more debt. I am asking that donations be sent to the local elementary school down the street.
You can likely tell by now that my brain is spinning in many directions! I was able to get still on retreat. I did get some solid rest, though it is almost a memory today! The 31 book selections are arranged in an order to be reviewed with Bob. These two projects have demanded that I am participating constantly in vulnerability, unlimited with the Lord.
Monday was busy, busy with a funeral in the morning, followed by lunch celebrating mother’s day with our son and grandson and then back to Dana’s house to work on the poetry books. I write this on a gloomy Tuesday morning with fondness that you continue to read and follow my writing.
May the Lord bless you with a renewed sense of His Presence and love for you! Trust Him with your everything.
Some days I wonder do my dreams and worries inform my first thoughts upon waking up or is it all under control of the Holy Spirit?
For a few days I have recurrent thoughts about the cardiac surgery they say I will need sooner rather than later. Part of me wonders what if I do not have the surgery? All of that runs underneath the day to day thoughts.
My daughter’s mother-in-law died yesterday. Evidently she was sitting on the side of her bed, getting dressed. It appears she had a stroke? She fell backwards and just lay down on the bed. She was a catholic woman who lost her husband and her mother. While hospitalized a few years ago she was tested and doctors decided she had lost some of her executive reasoning abilities. She had to move into a retirement community. She did not like it very much, but there were so many things she did not like very much! May she rest in peace.
My husband, Bob, had recently taken her to Frisch’s for lunch, always her first choice. She had just seen her family for a celebration Easter weekend.
What does all this have to do with me? Margie was ten years older than I am. My death became a poignant fact with the aneurysm diagnosis last January. No one know when the Lord will call us home. Only God knows the day and the hour.
This morning when I awoke some of the lines from this song were rolling through my brain. Took me a while to wake up and capture it. This is a Catholic hymn based on several Scriptures. I chose to share this version because it provides the lyrics.
I have listened to the song several times this morning. I would be lying if I said that took care of any disquiet I have from the aneurysm I carry with me. NOT. The next scan will be a CT scan in August to determine if the thing has grown. Cardiologist will determine when to refer me to cardiac surgeon. Until then, as I do daily, I must trust in the Lord and walk in obedience to all I am asked to do for the Holy Trinity.
Bob jokes around about cremation which we both have chosen instead of burial. The funeral home down the street has been busy for the last year building a huge garage looking thing on the adjoining lot which they purchased. I called them this morning and yes, indeed, it is going to be a crematorium. The dictionary is so uncouth.
Crematorium: A furnace or establishment for the incineration of corpses.
He cracks a joke every single time we drive past, which is practically daily! I wonder if he thinks the same things while he is alone in the car? I told him he needs to stop or I will have weird flashbacks if he dies first. Yep, at our age these discussions occur with some regularity!
I chose cremation because I do not want any chance that I will get this body back in the afterlife. God knows the wishes of my soul. I told the funeral director I want the box the casket comes in, not some expensive casket.
I write all this as my daughter and her family go to the funeral home today to make arrangements. I have no idea if Margie had pre-planned her funeral. I hope so. No one wants to make all of those decisions while grappling with grief. Again, may she rest in peace.
Often we believers wonder if God is really present with us. Our musing is usually caused by not being able to FEEL His presence. This is especially true when we are ill. {I continue to ponder how strong the physical being is at blocking my faith and the truths that I know are always true regardless of how I feel. And I continue to fight to uphold the truth regardless of my feelings.}
Last week the terrible cold that Bob and I have been suffering through finally drove us to test for Covid. We had done every single thing we could imagine to fight this thing off and we were getting no better. No one was more stunned than Bob Dutina when the tests proved positive for Covid. We finally had contracted it. No fever, just a multitude of awful other symptoms. No wonder we could not just shake it off like a bad cold! We discovered we had the virus too late for antiviral medications.
In the Post Easter readings more than once this week I have come across the story from the “Walk to Emmaus” Luke 24: 13-35. Two disciples are walking along the way and talking about the arrest, beating, and crucifixion of Jesus. They are amazed at the stunning news the women brought that they saw the Risen Jesus – alive and walking the earth.
A stranger joined them on their walk and asked what they were talking about. They said he must be the only one coming from Jerusalem who did not know what had happened. They proceeded to fill Him in. It is only much later in the story that they realize they are with Jesus. They did not recognize Him. He was walking with them and listening to them tell His story.
Somehow I picture Jesus not in all white robes, but dressed just like the walking pilgrims.
Since that happened to two disciples who knew all about His life, death and resurrection, do you think perhaps it could happen to you? When have you wondered where is God? Does God not care what is happening to me? Have you been amazed to later find out that God was right there with you all of the time?
We have finally returned to our first church home at the Episcopal church. And this year I missed everysingle Holy Week Service including the Saturday Vigil and Easter Sunday because either Bob was sick or I was sick. And still, I was able to rejoice in all the Risen Christ has done for us. I could only do that by holding fast to what I have learned about my God. Hold fast the foundation of your faith, regardless of how you are feeling, regardless of what you can or cannot sense.
The writer of the letter to the Hebrews might be called the Hold Fast writer! The New Revised Version sometimes translates it Hold Firm.
Christ, however, was faithful over God’shouse as a son, and we are his house if we hold firmthe boldness and the pride inspired by hope. Hebrews 3:6 NRSUE
For we have become partners of Christ, if only we hold our first confidence firm to the end. Hebrews 3:14 NRSVUE
Since, then, we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast to our confession. Hebrews 4:14 NRSVUE
Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who has promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23 NRSVUE
But test everything; hold fast to what is good 1 Thessalonians 5:21 NRSVUE
Hold fast, hold true, never let go. He is coming again in glory. Until then God is able to keep us in all of our ways.
I am almost always moved by the various quotes I receive in my email each day. I love this insight of Howard Thurman. Wikipedia says: Howard Washington Thurman (November 18, 1899 – April 10, 1981) was an American author, philosopher, theologian, Christian mystic, educator, and civil rightsleader.
In the stillness of the quiet, if we listen, we can hear the whisper in the heart giving strength to weakness, courage to fear, hope to despair.
HOWARD THURMAN
This was one wise man. How often do we listen in the stillness of the quiet?
Reading a novel last night I came across this quote. “Sometimes it was good to kick his brain into neutral and just exist.” Neutral like watch the dog eat, hear the spring peepers. Listen to the rain. Hear water gurgle and grumble in the downspout. Smile at the sunshine today.
Richard Rohr quotes a priest as having taught him just to look. Don’t think. Just look.
Practice this today. See where you land. Try it several times throughout the day. Make it a sacrifice of praise to God. Letting the Holy One have the action, the dialogue, directing your eyes and thoughts.
It is an amazing practice IF we will listen and just look. The stillness of the quiet. Dropping our inner chatter.
This seems to be a week of musical postings! I write them out as they come to me. We are traveling one day this week. Then we are packing for a week away. House sitter coming to stay with Lucky dog.
I have been working really hard with a friend on editing the poetry collection and preparing it to self-publish. I was told it would be hard work, but at times I am surprised HOW hard! The satisfaction though is almost unbelievable. Perhaps it will be ready before Easter!! Then I can apply myself more diligently on a booklet about relationship with God or prayer life.
Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. Psalm 62:8
My God is One who will listen. I will learn how to express the word list of emotions to my Father.
So I listened to the song below and this prayer formed in my soul.
My heart opens to tell You trusted Father and Brother Pain left toe and right elbow left finger - pinball machine at work Lifted by cello to Your arms and Presence
Rest, holy rest Honey syrup of rest, truth, light poured into dark of pain
Listening and praying, there was ease and some relief. There are times we just need to come to a stop. And rest there. Pausing in the presence of the Holy. See if that might help you, too.
Many of our local parks now have white swans. As I drive past the park I love glancing over to see what the swans are doing. Last year the pair mated and the park built a barrier shield for their nest. They seem to glide effortlessly over the water, but there is activity under the water level, as this video shows! I love seeing their necks extend underwater, too!
Here is some nature data about swans. “While their floating abilities are impressive, swans are also skilled swimmers. Their large, webbed feet act like paddles, propelling them through the water. A typical mute swan’s swimming speed is around 1.6 miles per hour, but they can achieve bursts of speed by oaring with their webbed feet. And when they wish to really pick up pace, they can even use their outstretched wings to take advantage of the wind which allows them to move across the water more efficiently.
“Swans, along with other water birds like ducks and geese (all members of the order Anseriformes), have developed specialized features that enable them to float. These adaptations exploit two key scientific principles: surface tension and buoyancy. From https://enviroliteracy.org/do-swans-float-in-water/
So what looks like magical floating is truly large paddle feet either directing their course or moving them along. Also, an innate ability for bouyancy to match the surface tension. In the video I also noticed the tail wiggle seems to adjust like a rudder?
What about folks that seem to float along in their spiritual life? Surface tension does not seem to faze them. It might look as if they never struggle with God. Some even go so far as to say that person has a direct line to God! I do not think that is true. Looks can be deceiving. God sees them in their ‘prayer closet’ and when they fight off evil. God knows the secret places of their hearts. All of us struggle when it comes to pursuing God. We only see their outward demeanor and we make judgements based upon that. The New Testament writers stress repeatedly that they are no different than we are. (See Ephesians 3:7-8, Galatians 1:15-16, 2 Corinthians 1:15-16, 2 Timothy 1:9)
So what makes them seem so different than we might see ourselves? I believe it is perhaps their the constant pursuit of Jesus, the hunger and thirst for righteousness. Like the swan, floating, paddling, swimming, diving under, those folks put seeking the Kingdom and His righteousness the number #1 priority in their lives.
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33 NRSVUE
Where are you this Lent in your pursuit the Holy One? Perhaps like the opening photo, we could use this time to lean into knowing more about the highest and best that we are individually called to!
For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope. Jeremiah 29:11 NRSVUE
When I was a young spiritual seeker I eventually learned Jesus is the only thing going on forever.
I think this is an ideal Lenten season song. There are times during Lent when I just need to settle down with Christ. This song does that for me. Enjoy!
There were a couple phrases that jumped out at me in our worship for the Second Sunday in Lent. During the Great Thanksgiving our priest read, “You brought forth all creatures of the earth and gave breath to humankind. Wondrous are you, Holy One of Blessing, all you create is a sign of hope for our journey. ” This language of liturgy is lofty, yet simple in truth.
Breath to humankind … we each have this breath. Do we give the Creator credit for gifting us with this life and breath? Do we recognize that every human being has been given this same holy breath? Are willing to give thanks for them, too?
Continuing with the Eucharist: “And so, remembering all that was done for us: the cross, the tomb, the resurrection and ascension, longing for Christ’s coming in glory, and presenting to you these gifts your earth has formed and human hands have made, we acclaim you, O Christ …
Dying, you destroyed our death. Rising you restored our life. Christ Jesus, come in glory!
How many times outside of a church building do we remember all that was done for us by Christ? If you make it your practice to review the things listed in this liturgy regarding all that was done for you, it is difficult not to be grateful and give praise to our Risen Lord. Perhaps copy that one sentence and make it your practice for the remaining days of this Lenten season?
Remembering all that was done for us: the cross, the tomb, the resurrection and ascension, longing for Christ’s coming in glory, and presenting to you these gifts your earth has formed and human hands have made, we acclaim you, O Christ!
This might just change your Lenten appreciation. Holding what has been done for us before our hearts and minds can be life giving and bring mighty levels of joy. And how about that Acclaim of faith? “Dying, you destroyed our death. Rising, you restored our life. Christ Jesus, come in glory!”
I think this rendition of the Risen Christ might be the most delightful I have ever seen? Have you ever pictured the event in your spirit? Do you ever just sit with your image and give thanks?
Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:2 KJV
Looking to Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith, who for the sake of the joy that was set before him endured the cross, disregarding its shame, and has taken his seat at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:2 NRSVUE
May this Lent find you giving more attention to Jesus and His mighty work than to your own affairs. Even things done in the Name of Christ can detract from our focus on our Savior. Give Him your all and you will not be disappointed in the return on your investment. His finished work is not to be underestimated!
Before dawn today there was a four bird chorus raising praise to the Lord for His goodness and holiness. The northern Cardinal, Carolina wren, American robin and tufted Titmouse were raising a continuous singing of triumph and might. I know, because I asked the Merlin Bird app from Cornell University to identify them for me.
How have you lifted your voice today? What time did you begin? Did you lie in bed bemoaning the day or the rough night of pain?
Perhaps we would benefit more by taking a fresh look at the goodness of God to bring us through the night and unrolling before us another day of living and loving?
Amy Carmichael wrote in Edges of His Ways:
Psalm 19:10, R.V. margin: The droppings of the honeycomb. This morning I found this marginal reading which was just the word I wanted at the moment. There are times when we cannot read much or even think much. But if we are quiet we shall hear little sweet words dropping into our hearts, “sweeter also than honey and the droppings of the honeycomb.” I need not write them; they will be different perhaps to each one of us, but they will be comforting and strengthening too; and we shall go on our way for another day, fed and refreshed.
If we are willing to get still at the center point of our souls I believe we will hear “little sweet words dropping into our hearts.” Perhaps not every single time we get still, but the incidences will increase as we employ the practice.
“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalms 46:10
T. S. Elliott said:
“At the still point of the turning world. Neither flesh nor fleshless; Neither from nor towards; at the still point, there the dance is, But neither arrest nor movement. And do not call it fixity, Where past and future are gathered. Neither movement from nor towards, Neither ascent nor decline. Except for the point, the still point, There would be no dance, and there is only the dance.”
I pray you will get still enough to hear those little sweet words dropping into your heart.
Stillness is like coming to a center point and waiting. Not waiting on the starting block of a foot race.
Above is that point in the race where runners are poised for action. In contrast, the stillness we need more of in our lives is the stillness where we learn to wait in peace and collectedness. Listening for that still, small voice of God. The place where the promises below are fulfilled.
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you. Psalm 32:8 NIV
And when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left, your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21 NRSVUE
It takes practice to listen in this way. And practice leads to better listening during the hubbub of life. Can we agree unreservedly with Isaiah 50?
The Lord God has given me a trained tongue, that I may know how to sustain the weary with a word. Morning by morning he wakens, wakens my ear to listen as those who are taught. 5 The Lord God has opened my ear, and I was not rebellious; I did not turn backward. Isaiah 50:4-5 NRSVUE
I, for one, have a long way to go in yielding my ears to hear God and yielding my tongue to speak words of comfort and encouragement in due season! Listening, practicing stillness, will most assuredly get me to that goal more thoroughly than any other method I have ever found.
Holy and Mighty One help me to give myself over to this stillness and listening to Your voice, I pray.
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