Posted on in Aging, Cooking, Faith, Memories, Praise, Prayer, Trust

Nostalgia

When our children were little I would bake a special cake for our Easter celebration. I had a cake pan shaped like a lamb.

I used the James Beard recipe for 1-2-3-4 cake which is very rich! The recipe always made too much batter for the lamb cake pan.

Form made two layers similar to this.

When it was baked we stuck it together with rich butter cream frosting and used raw spaghetti to help it stay put. After frosting the outside we put coconut all over the lamb to look like wool.

I did not use a bow, but we did dye coconut green to look like grass.

I cooked the rest of the batter in a one layer pan and froze it for our celebration on Pentecost. Fifty days after demolishing the lamb cake we were each eager to taste the Pentecost cake. I pray my adult children and yours are eager to taste the Holy Spirit sent to us on Pentecost.

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Faith, Just do it, Praise, Prayer, Special Event, Trust, Worship, Yield

Did You Celebrate Pentecost?

Last Sunday was the traditional time in the liturgical calendar to celebrate Pentecost. Forty-nine or fifty days after Easter this celebration commemorates “the descent of the Holy Spirit upon the Apostles of Jesus while they were in Jerusalem celebrating the Feast of Weeks, as described in the Acts of the Apostles (Acts 2:1–31). From Wikipedia the worldly font of wisdom!

In Christian tradition, this event represents fulfillment of the promise that Christ will baptize his followers with the Holy Spirit. Out of the four New Testament gospels, the distinction between baptism by water and the baptism by Christ with “Holy Spirit and fire” is only found in Matthew and Luke. Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pentecost

At Saint Timothy’s we celebrated and asked the Holy Spirit to fill us once more. I believe the promises of Jesus are real and for everyone. So in case you missed it, I pray that you will look to the Father of all good things and ask for the indwelling of the Holy Spirit to guide, direct and order your life for the glory of God.

15 “If you love me, keep my commands. 16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— 17 the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. 18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. 19 Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. 20 On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. 21 Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.” John 14:15-21 NIV

This promise by Jesus comes from Father God and is for all who accept Jesus and love Him. Lord may the fullness of Your promise fill all who come to You. We look for You to manifest Yourself in our midst. And as You bring this to pass we will be careful to give You all of the glory. Amen.

Posted on in Aging, Amazing Creations, Faith, Just do it, Listen, Nature, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Thanks, Writing Life

What Fear Can Do

Took me years to attend the group called Women Writing for a Change. I was raised in an alcoholic home. The number one form of child discipline was criticism and shame. The idea of sharing my writing with a group of women for critique was beyond intimidating to me.

This is part of my speed writing exercise from that meeting. “She walked into the meeting space blinded at first by the brilliant morning sun. As her eyes settled in, the sudden realization broke over her that this is not much different than crochet group. A bunch of women with a common interest. Huh. Wonder why she never considered that before?  Fear can do nasty things to women of sound mind.  So here she is today, willing to expose herself to this practice of sharing her writing and  “listening to others’ writing with attention and deep listening.” God, help me give them the same consideration I desire.

When it was my turn to share, I felt like a child as I gulped and read my poem aloud. Did not tell them I wrote this after our daughter’s wedding as we sat at the beach. At the time, I was absolutely exhausted and glad for a time to be refreshed.

At the Sea ©1997 Molly Lin Dutina
Distant silver horizon
Birthed by Your Light
Breaks through leaden skies
Enlightens slate-colored seas
Calls me to You
Closer to You
Given over to You
Nothing withheld.

And I yield to You
To lie in Your arms
Imbibing Holy Breath
Entire being – renewed.

Your sparkling glow
Moves rapidly across the expanse of water
To here and now
You surround me
Uphold me
Indwell me
Live through me.

How could I ever hesitate
Preferring dim to illumined?
You enlighten me
Flaws, shortcomings,
Weaknesses, strengths and all.
Fact: You love me.
Fact: You desire me
You declare I am Yours.

Like sudden deep piles of shells
Buried, unseen yesterday
Revealed today by the powerful tide
Your Kingdom unfolds before me and
Yes, Lord, I yield
Knowing You go with me
And will arrive ahead of me
You have my life in Your scarred hands.

Abiding under Your wing
Your Light fills the throne room
And I must close my eyes
To bear Your brightness
O, All-Powerful Lord,
I refuse to doubt Your methods
Your holy mercy endures
As You bathe me
In Your everlasting Love.

Come my King
O Light Eternal
Bring forth the treasure
You have hidden within me
As I embrace Your will
Illumine me.

The practice was for those of us who were listening to write down phrases that struck us as the others read. When all the readings were finished, we participated in ‘popcorn’ response, each of us just saying out loud what hit us. I was touched by the words that came from what I had written. I shared lines from others, too.

I am not certain this practice group is what I need. I am not going to sign up for the 10 week group that begins in a day or two. I believe God will show me where to share my writing and what the plan is for the future. If that plan becomes Women Writing for a Change I will post it here.

Yesterday I went to the garage to put used sharps in the red container. As I stepped close to the container on top of the freezer I saw a snake. A very large snake (maybe 4-5 feet long) draped along the base of Bob’s antique lab chair on wheels. Fear can do nasty things to women of sound mind. I made it into the house to call Bob. He came running and grabbed the old wooden cane from Scotland. He too was surprised at the size. Told me to move the car. While I went to get the keys he decided to roll the lab chair, complete with snake, out of the garage and into the grass. He clubbed it on the ground with the cane. Asked me to get a five gallon bucket because it was still alive… Using the cane he put it in the bucket and continued to club it. That racket of cane clubbing within plastic bucket brought out the neighbor. He too recently had a snake in his garage, though not this large. We told him his snake has been feeding and growing! He teased us that it looked meaty. We could have it for supper. I told him naw, he could have it all.

Bob took a photo. Yuck.

Finally determined this was a gray rat snake. Oh gross. I do not want to post a photo of what the snake looked like. Feel free to look it up yourself! It is dead. I amazingly did not have nightmares about it. What is it about snakes? I have this primeval fear that makes me freeze when I see a snake. I become almost incoherent. Is it linked to Scripture when Eve was deceived by the serpent?

So the Lord God said to the serpent:

“Because you have done this,
You are cursed more than all cattle,
And more than every beast of the field;
On your belly you shall go,
And you shall eat dust
All the days of your life. Genesis 3:14 NIV

I often wonder what I will do in these situations if Bob should die before I do. Dealing with snakes might be the worst one I can imagine. If – the snake had gone behind the freezer (which is where it was headed). If – I had not seen it when I did. Oh I could go on and on with scary scenarios of IF. Bob’s favorite: IF we had opened the door to the garage and it had entered the house. EWW!

For today, I am glad the snake is gone and my husband of 53+ years is still with me. Forgive me, Father, for my inordinate fear. Lead and guide me in how You wish to use the writing and I pray it is all to Your glory.

I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
    he delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Humor, Illness and Health, medical treatment, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth

My State of Aging 2024

Things that used to be a breeze are now  So  Very  Difficult Routines of self-care take longer and longer. Maybe complicated is a better descriptor?

Not enough to brush my teeth (what few teeth remain). And use the expensive toothpaste the hygienist insists upon. Now there must be floss, rubbery pick, fluoride toothpaste AND DON’T RINSE!

Take bedtime medications, but remember to do it before caring for the teeth because I AM NOT TO RINSE AFTERWARDS. Don’t forget the Tylenol and the other over the counter pill that aids with sleep. Inject the right units of insulin.

Use the fluoride rinse if you can fit it in. Perhaps do that after I eat breakfast? Use that rubbery pick thing after every meal. Last night after dinner I used it while watching TV. Then I noticed that some of the green bristles were missing. WAIT a minute!! Aren’t we supposed to be careful NOT to ingest plastic? Oi, the drama never ends!

Once a month inject that biologic that crushes the psoriasis. Thank goodness the pharmaceutical company provides it free of cost. Have to mark it on the calendar just like the dog’s tablet for anti-flea medication.

Now I am going to be wearing a continuous glucose monitor. Medicare covers the cost of that thing. The doctor’s office will teach us how to install it. Another insert-able thing, this one in the back of my arm. “Not always the same arm, not always the same place, not in a lump or scar.” Monitor should link to my iPhone to give readouts. If I link it to the reader they sent, I cannot use my iPhone to get the readings. Supposed to help teach me the impact of what I eat by showing me moment to moment what my blood glucose is. Check readout before each meal. If it goes too high I am to inject more insulin. They will have to teach me how much and when. This seems like a lot to manage. I will also need to change the device weekly.

Wait! I was taught to check my glucose 2 hours after eating. I smack my forehead and groan. I confuse easily!

Oh, I am a lot to manage!

Does continuous monitor mean I no longer have to begin the day with a finger stick? Well, at first I have to do both. Crap. I get so tired of needles.

Add to that the stretches as I continue to recover from shoulder surgery. If the plantar fasciitis flares up return to doing those stretches, too.

Oh by gosh, by golly! I feel as old as Santa and a lot less spry. Bob reminds me that I have “better living through modern chemistry.” So I fill the prescription boxes for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and bedtime, 2 weeks worth. I always say a prayer of gratitude that I am able to afford the medications I need.

The iPhone says if I want to add the weather to my watch face that is called a “complication.” Same for the date and time. I suppose I am just a ‘complicated’ woman. Glad to be cared for, even if I complain. I tell God, “I’m trying.” God replies, “Yes, dear, very trying.”

Learning to turn all of this from overwhelming to let God have it. The Trinity is willing and able to direct my steps and help me walk through these things. I name them one by one and ask the Holy One to direct my steps. I relinquish these challenges to You and ask for comfort and wisdom in how to manage all of it.

But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. James 3:17 NLT

Eventually, new things can become routine. Does anyone know how to make certain I take the lunch pills at lunch and don’t forget them?

Posted on in Aging, Amazing Creations, Faith, Just do it, Listen, Memories, Nature, Poetry, Praise

Never Crossed My Mind


Never Crossed My Mind ©Molly Lin Dutina  2024

Never crossed my mind
As a younger woman
Hiking the trail, searching for flowers
Savoring the sound of Living waters
That a time would come

When the trails would offer  a daunting challenge
Sitting on a low bench
Taking an inexpert selfie
Would create clenching back pain
Upon arising

The Living Water refreshes my soul
Grand vistas renew my high opinion
Of Your glorious creation
Most High and Holy God
You bless me.

Black bear lumbers through the woods
Even haphazard parking by tourists
Cannot disturb this peace

Trickle of the brook calls me to quiet
Splendor of mighty clouds
Marching across Your endless sky
Summon me to Your heart.

The woodland has changed 
Mighty windstorms have reshaped
Trails and brooks
Grateful the young rangers 
Care for these trails and not me

Posted on in Aging, Amazing Creations, Humor, medical treatment, Nature

One Thing I Learned at Physical Therapy

When they give you ice therapy at the end this channel is on their television monitor. This channel is hilarious! Obviously you do not have ot watch the full hour, but it made me chuckle out loud and forget the pain of stretching!

If you are feeling poorly, this is bound to cheer you at least a bit!! Wish our cable company carried it! Maybe I can find it on YouTube app?

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Faith, Memories, Nature, Special Event, Traveling

Vacation List of Beauties

When our son was very young he coined a statement, “Beauty! It’s a beauty!” I decided it was too difficult to take photos of every lovely spring wildflower we saw. In case you have not taken a walk recently perhaps this might bring you cheer! You can put the name of the flower in your browser if you want to see a photo click on images there. What follows is my partial list from the Smoky Mountain Flower Hunt 2024.

Day 1

Fairy wand

Wild ginger

Showy orchis

Canada violet

Jack and the pulpit wilted

Solomon seal

False Solomon seal

Wild strawberry

Common blue violet

Crested dwarf iris

Foam flower

Flowering dogwood

Trout Lily

Yellow Violet

Blood root, no flower

Bluettes!! These might be my favorite. 1/3 inch each flower. Tiny, tiny.

Dog hobble

Day 2

Yellow Trillium

Purple phlox

Jack in the Pulpit, finally!!

Thanks to Merlin which identified the songs of:

Swanson’s warbler

Hooded warbler

Worm eating warbler

Day 3

Pink Lady’s Slipper

Didn’t need Merlin to hear the wood thrush and pileated at once!

Doesn’t get much sweeter than that.

Thank you Father for allowing us to travel to the spring flowers one more year! All praise to You for Your glorious creation. You do not have to share it with us, yet You do! All praise and glory to the Most High God. Amen.

Posted on in Aging, Faith, Family, Just do it, Listen, Memories, Music, Poetry, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Thanks, Traveling, Trust, Worship, Yield

My Thin Place

The photo above shows the outside of what remains of the church called Teampall Bhreacain, Na Seacht dTeampaill, County Galway, Ireland. I believe it is also known as Church of the Hollow. I think r m dutina took all of these photos, but honestly I cannot remember. We were wandering separately around the grounds. When he caught up to me I could barely speak!

The altar from afar
Through the window of the ages
Past the thick walls of time
Stands a symbol of death
Nay! Bright resurrection
Hope of all men

The rough stones placed
In geometrically sound patterns
Of worship, of honor, of praise
Roofless now 
that heaven may freely break through 
to us of long ages later
Arches , capstones, edges of time
Torn by the worship of long ago
Until our hearts are lifted up
To worship the same lovely truth

You came for us
You come to us still
To have us for Your own
Encircling with Spirit
Invading with Holy
Illumine our techno age
With truth of heaven
Power of Holy
Spirit of Life.

Why would I want to return to Church of the Hollow at Inishmore? I could have sat there for hours, listening, praying, in worship and wonder. Next time I would return with a folding chair!

This is where you sing Psalm 84!

And the walk down to the sea.

Posted on in Aging, Faith, Illness and Health, Thanks, Yield

Ooh, Ouch!

Writing will likely be sporadic this week. I have to stop taking the prescription for arthritic pain for 4 days. Then on Tuesday I am having a lumbar epidural to try to relieve pain in vertebrae 4, 5 and 6. Or is it 3, 4, and 5. All due to bulging discs.

Regardless what numbers the doctor knows and is skilled. Just think of the most sore place in your body and put a big needle there with steroid medication. Ouch is right. SO grateful I learned LaMaze breathing during 23 hours of labor these many years ago. It really helps with pain during an injection such as this.

Conscious (or patterned) breathing used to be the hallmark of Lamaze childbirth education. For many, it’s still an important way to stay relaxed and on top of their contractions. It’s true that conscious breathing can help you relax and feel less pain during contractions. There’s no “right” way to breathe in labor, despite what others may tell you. Slow, deep breathing helps to manage the pain of contractions. But the right way for you to breathe is whatever feels right to you. Issues like your number of breaths per minute, breathing through your nose or your mouth, or making sounds (like hee-hee) with your breaths are only important if they make a difference for you.

It may help you to have a visual focus to accompany your conscious breathing. You can recall an image with your eyes closed, focus on a picture or special object from home, keep your eyes on your support person or simply stare at a spot on the wall. You may also find that as labor progresses, faster, shallower breathing—like a dog gently panting—feels better. https://www.lamaze.org/lamaze-breathing

I was going to show you a photo of needle they will use but it just creeped me out too much. So if the posts are sporadic this week, just remember to pray for me please: that the injection will do its work, that the doctor and I will both be calm, that the rest after the injection will move me more quickly towards a more pain free life. Thank you.

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Faith, Listen, Memories, Music, Praise, Prayer, Traveling

Psalm 84

So many things about this Psalm. Before my husband took me to Ireland in 2011 for my 60th birthday I obtained a 3 CD set of Hymns and Songs of the Celtic tradition. The following hymn has blessed me ever since I first heard it.

When we visited Teampall Bhreacain, County Galway, Ireland I had my first encounter with a “thin place.” Not only did the ancient altar mesmerize me, (Photo above by r m dutina) but the bird’s nest high in the wall took my breath away.

photo by r m dutina

“Even the sparrow finds a home where he can settle down, and the swallow,she can build a nest where she may lay her young” say the lyrics!

At the Convent of the Transfiguration in Glendale where I am an Associate they often quote from the Celtic Daily Prayer book organized and printed by the Northumbria Community. After hearing these quotes for several years I recently allowed myself to purchase the book, used. Yes! the first thing I randomly opened to was Page 69, Meditations: Day 28, Psalm 84. Not kidding. The exact lyrics sung by John Begley on the CD. Oh my how blessed I was and am.

While in the Smoky Mountains the song came back. Sitting at my window in morning prayer the song comes back. This is what I mean when I say I am “haunted” by a hymn. 

How lovely is Thy dwelling-place
     O Lord of hosts, to me.
My soul is longing and fainting
     the courts of the Lord to see.
My heart and flesh, they are singing
     for joy to the living God.
 How lovely is Thy dwelling-place
     O Lord of hosts, to me.

Even the sparrow finds a home
     where he can settle down,
and the swallow , she can build a nest
     where she can lay her young,
within the courts of the Lord of hosts,
     my King, my Lord, and my God:
and happy are those who are dwelling where
     the song of praise is sung.

And I'd rather be a door-keeper
     and only stay a day,
than live the life of a sinner
    and have to stay away.
For the Lord is shining as the sun,
     and the Lord, He's like a shield;
and no good thing does He withhold
     from those who walk His way.

How lovely is Thy dwelling-place
     O Lord of hosts, to me.
My soul is longing and fainting
     the courts of the Lord to see.
My heart and flesh, they are singing
     for joy to the living God.
 How lovely is Thy dwelling-place
     O Lord of hosts, to me.

I believe the following thoughts are worth considering and using for your spiritual discipline and growth in the thing of God. What draws you to the Presence of the Lord repeatedly? Is there a means the Holy Spirit uses to draw you close? Have you considered using that very thing to calm your soul and center your thoughts upon the Holy One?