Writing will likely be sporadic this week. I have to stop taking the prescription for arthritic pain for 4 days. Then on Tuesday I am having a lumbar epidural to try to relieve pain in vertebrae 4, 5 and 6. Or is it 3, 4, and 5. All due to bulging discs.
Regardless what numbers the doctor knows and is skilled. Just think of the most sore place in your body and put a big needle there with steroid medication. Ouch is right. SO grateful I learned LaMaze breathing during 23 hours of labor these many years ago. It really helps with pain during an injection such as this.
Conscious (or patterned) breathing used to be the hallmark of Lamaze childbirth education. For many, it’s still an important way to stay relaxed and on top of their contractions. It’s true that conscious breathing can help you relax and feel less pain during contractions. There’s no “right” way to breathe in labor, despite what others may tell you. Slow, deep breathing helps to manage the pain of contractions. But the right way for you to breathe is whatever feels right to you. Issues like your number of breaths per minute, breathing through your nose or your mouth, or making sounds (like hee-hee) with your breaths are only important if they make a difference for you.
It may help you to have a visual focus to accompany your conscious breathing. You can recall an image with your eyes closed, focus on a picture or special object from home, keep your eyes on your support person or simply stare at a spot on the wall. You may also find that as labor progresses, faster, shallower breathing—like a dog gently panting—feels better. https://www.lamaze.org/lamaze-breathing
I was going to show you a photo of needle they will use but it just creeped me out too much. So if the posts are sporadic this week, just remember to pray for me please: that the injection will do its work, that the doctor and I will both be calm, that the rest after the injection will move me more quickly towards a more pain free life. Thank you.
Here is the cultivated iris that grows in our yard.
Bought the root years ago at a commercial Iris Farm
In the Smokies we found the Crested Dwarf Iris. We have seen this flower before. This year I seemed to see more of it than usual. Perhaps it had to do with the weather or time of year we visited?
Our wildflower book describes it as:
Plant 4-9″ tall and 2-1/2″ flower. This complex flower has three blue-purple (rarely albino) petals as a standard above three unique petal-like sepals. On each sepal is a yellow crest which leads pollinating insects toward the nectar hidden deep in the flower. The insect pollinators first pass beneath the stigmas (depositing pollen) then the anthers (receiving new pollen) before exiting this one-way flower near the stem. This elaborate system assures cross-pollination. Wildflowers of the Smokies by Peter White and 5 contributing co-authors
So I saw some crested dwarf iris and thought there a lot of those.
Then later I saw hundreds and a day after that I figured thousands and then it hit me.
How many millions of these bloom in these mountains that mankind has never seen?
The God of heaven and earth delights me with endless miracles of creation! A walk in the springtime yields blessing upon blessing. I am grateful, thankful and give praise and worship to the Most High God. Every flower is His.
The Mighty One, God, the Lord, speaks and summons the earth from the rising of the sun to where it sets. 2 From Zion, perfect in beauty, God shines forth.
for every animal of the forest is mine, and the cattle on a thousand hills. 11 I know every bird in the mountains, and the insects in the fields are mine.
“Sacrifice thank offerings to God, fulfill your vows to the Most High, 15 and call on me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me.”
Have your heard a Thrush? Wood or Hermit I am never quite certain, but always enchanted!
We heard it as we entered the the Porters Creek Trailhead in Greenbrier.
This bird always gives me cause to stop and praise the Lord. He did not have to create birds with such majestic songs, yet He lets us hear them and enjoy His handiwork. When we lived on Siesta Drive I would hear one each summer. I even saw it in our front yard once. Since we moved to Platform Street I have not heard one, until the other morning!
I am blessed to listen To her anthem of worship Not often do I hear her A special treat indeed
Perhaps she will find A place nearby to nest Regardless, she blesses me here now
Straining later to hear her song Was that the now rare Bob White quail? As a child I would hear it on summer mornings Having lost its habitat it is now most rare here
I strain for Your voice Lord Above all the other songs Yours is the one I want to hear over me.
The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17
Treasures in plain sight, and if you cannot spot them, they might be treasures within your hearing!
Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Matthew 6:26 NRSVA
On our hunt 2013 for pink Lady’s Slippers Elusive wild orchids of the Smoky Mountain woods I was surprised to see this woman With a walker that rolled It also had a seat for when she needed to rest
At first sight, I thought “poor thing’ At second glance I realized It likely was harder for her to get here Than me, walking under my own pained power But she was here to see The same sights as me. We both smiled with satisfaction At this glorious creation.
As we parted she asked the Lord’s blessing upon me. She also posed the question “Well, what else are we going to do?” Yes, we cope as best we can Whatever condition life throws at us
Now in 2024, viewing the Lady’s Slippers at the exact same location I pray she too was able to come see them this year
I will not forget her lesson of joy Determination, fortitude, courage Doing what your soul needs done Regardless of what your physique May declare
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
2 Corinthians 4:16-17 NIV
The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land.
Life meanders like a path through the woods. We have seasons when we flourish and seasons when the leaves fall from us, revealing our bare bones. Given time, they grow again.
KATHERINE MAY
During my formative years my parents always kept a dog. Four years ago Bob and I adopted a small beagle from a rescue shelter. She was very, very timid. The shelter had brought her from the wilds of Kentucky. They believed she had run away from a breeder. When they spayed her somehow the vet knew she had delivered two sets of puppies. They also had to pull many of her teeth. It is believed she had chewed her way out of a metal cage that the locals there called a coop. She broke off many of her teeth doing that.
We brought her home and did our best to get her settled. We gave her toys and she had no clue what to do with them. We would roll a ball and she would watch it as if to say, “So?” Eventually she relaxed in our company.
She thoroughly enjoyed her first pup cup of Starbucks whipped cream!
She learned how to help Bob drive.
About 4 months after we adopted her she was attacked by a pit bull in the neighborhood. We rushed her to the vet for an emergency Sunday visit. It was my birthday. She had head trauma, puncture wounds and soft tissue injuries. It was terribly frightening. She recovered and so did we. Bob followed through on getting that dog out of the neighborhood.
after her vet treatment
When we moved from Siesta drive to Platform street, she really came into her own. She began to think that yes, everyone could be a friend. She was convinced that certainly those visiting our house came to see just her.
Time rolled by. We loved her dearly and she in turn began to show a little affection for us. She has only barked a few times over the years, usually going many many months in between episodes. Even as a beagle she never bays or howls.
Best place to be if a thunderstorm occurs!
She is like my silent companion until we put her on a leash. Then she becomes the nose on legs. She has grown front shoulders like a football player and can hold her place while she reads her “pee-mail.”
About a year ago she began to show some pain in one back leg. Then it subsided and we thought no more about it. We did get her canine glucosamine chondroitin tablets. We bought a new couch and put a fabric cover on it. Her favorite place has always been lying on the couch and we allow that. She asks for so little.
I’ve taken to calling her “Beagley-beag.” She is also known as Luck-Luck and a variety of other terms of endearment. I talk to her throughout the day. If we have been gone from the house a few hours she greets us with little whines as if to ask, “Where have you been?” If we had reason to kennel her while we were away she comes out of her crate giving us a piece of her mind. It sounds like, “How dare you? Don’t you know I will be good?” She knows how to bawl us out without a single bark.
When I had shoulder surgery in January she would sometimes want to get up on the couch and had difficulty doing it. She would even cry for me to pick her up but I was unable to lift her while wearing the sling for 6 weeks. I made her a pillow bed on the floor. Occasionally she would screw up her courage and jump up on the couch. That became more and more rare.
She needed a bordetella injection and I was concerned about her refusal to jump up, so I took her to a new vet in March as the other vet had stopped offering boarding and gone corporate. The new vet put her on two medications for her leg pain and asked that she come in for more blood work before they would refill the one Rx. They wanted x-rays of her legs. We refused the x-rays as we do not plan to submit her to surgery.
When we went to the Smoky Mountains in April we boarded her with our granddaughter who likely takes more indulgent care of her than we do! We were shocked when we returned after 4 days. She had declined drastically. She could barely walk. When she did walk she held her tail with a strange bend in it as if trying to improve her balance. Whereas in the past this dog always had to be on a leash or she would take off, now we could drop the leash in the yard and she would not move. A couple times I took her out to “do her business” and she would just lie down. Bob used to walk her about a mile every morning. Now she can barely make it three doors down the street and back.
I began to grieve sensing that her time on earth without suffering had passed. I know, I have messed up this blog with past tense and present tenses all intermingled. Suffice it to say it is just simply difficult to write this out.
We decided to return to the vet that we had left. They have treated her the entire time she has been in our care. They agreed that she is definitely suffering. They offered a monthly injection for osteoarthritis (which the other vet had offered, too). We decided to try it for one or two months to see it is improves her particular condition. The vet says the problem seems to be in her back “knees.” We are weaning her off one medication. Once that is out of her system they might try a steroid medication if she still has not improved from the injection.
The quote at the top of this blog set me off on this telling. Here are a few of the bare bones of my grieving. I never mean to get attached to our pets, yet I do and I love them freely. I have a better understanding now of why farmers say they do not want animals in the house. Once you name them, and house them, and live day-to-day with them it is that much harder to let them go when the time comes.
One neighbor said she wished her 12 year old Corgi could just out live her. Too hard to let go. Another said it is not fair that they die while in our care. I do not want to embrace the alternative of not having a pet. Bob has stressed repeatedly how difficult it is at our ages (read 70’s) to walk and care for a pet. This particular beagle refused to just go outside and “do her business.” She insists on being walked. So there is the conundrum of what to do when she passes. Bob said I can have another dog I really want one. I know if we get another it would need to be half of Lucky’s weight. At 27 pounds she is just too heavy for me to carry.
April 2024 sunbathing on the back deck and favoring that one leg though both now pain her
Recently the Lord reminded me that Lucky is on loan to us. I will try my best to trust the Holy One with her future. I am praying for grace and strength to release her peacefully when it is time. Watching her suffer is so very difficult.
A righteous man has kind regard for the life of his animal, But even the compassion of the wicked is cruel.
I did not post much last week because we were a way from home. First I went to the Associates Spring Retreat at the Convent of the Transfiguration where I have been an Associate since 1991. After that I came home on Sunday afternoon, emptied parts of my suitcase into another larger suitcase. On Monday morning we departed for the Great Smoky Mountain National Park to hunt for our favorite wildflowers. It seems like whirlwind now, but it was all loads of fun.
The retreat was led by a man named Kelly Latimore. He has a degree in art and religious studies. Since 2011 he has been painting or as the iconographers say ‘reading’ icons. If you have participated in Lectio Divina, (divine reading of Scripture) you will be able to relate to what he asked us to do. He called it “Visio Divina,” (divine seeing of the icons). It was a fascinating experience. There were about 15 of us in person at the retreat and another group joined us via Zoom.
Kelly would show us a slide of an icon on a large screen. We would begin to share what we saw in the icon. He educated us in the history of making icons and shared the vision for his art.
“However, I do not wish to approach Iconography as an art form that simply follows an inherited tradition, knowledge and practice. I want it to be a creative process, meditation, and practice that brings about new self knowledge for the viewer and myself. Who are the saints that are among us here and now? I feel the need for new images. In some icons I wish to embrace the traditional forms and image but for many icons the image needs re-shaping, re-imagining, and re-wondering.” https://kelly-latimore.pixels.com/
Christ the Light
Mary Magdalene and Christ the Gardener
If you go to his website you can follow the progression of his paintings and icons. There you will see how his talent has grown.
If you have never before used an icon for prayer, here are some pointers from online.
Praying with icons is a contemplative practice wherein we slow down to pray and pay attention to God. This may be done in silence, by talking to God casually, or by using hymns and other ancient prayers. Or even in combination of all three. If you are just getting started in praying with icons, I suggest starting by working on your attentiveness to the image.
Look at your icon. What is the first thing you notice about the image? Where are your eyes drawn? What colours are attracting your attention?
After you have taken in the image, you can start to think about the details. Are the eyes of Christ or the Saint looking at you, or elsewhere? If Christ is looking at you, spend some time gazing back into his eyes. I find this is an especially good practice when I’m working on listening to God.
What other symbols are in the image? Do you know what they mean? What does looking at the icon make you feel right now. What is the icon saying to you?
The retreat was so interesting! Sharing what we each saw or sensed was particularly enriching. Hearing Kelly’s reasoning for how he did the various paintings was educational and nothing I would have understood on my own.
He has paintings in the National Cathedral and many churches throughout the United States. There will be an exhibit at St Paul’s Episcopal Church, Cary, North Carolina on May 4 from 1-7 PM as follows:
“Join us as we welcome acclaimed artist Kelly Latimore to Cary for a show featuring his vibrant and thought-provoking icons. Kelly’s work has appeared nationally in places like the Washington National Cathedral and was selected as the cover of a Pope Francis book of sermons. We will have 25 of his pieces on display throughout the interior of the church on Saturday, with doors open to the public from 1-7 pm. Children are welcome, and Kelly will be here during the exhibition. There will be a panel discussion starting at 4:30 pm, which will feature the artist and guests from the Pauli Murray Center for History and Social Justice and the Episcopal Farmworker Ministry. The day ends with an artist’s reception at 5:30 pm, and we’re asking folks to RSVP so we can plan accordingly. This is a day to celebrate Kelly’s art and vision, to see others in a new way, and to offer something to the community. There is no charge for the exhibit, but we do encourage donations.”
If you click the link above you can see his icon of the Transfiguration and Pentecost. He said when they were designing the Transfiguration the congregation did not want Christ in all white clothing. They decided to add silver leaf to the painting. When it was hung in the sanctuary he was amazed at how the light in the sanctuary made the icon flash and dazzled his eyes, like the actual transfiguration. I want to go to Salisbury to see that painting/icon! ROAD TRIP!!!
The mower teams are here and their machines are quite loud. Most every Monday or Tuesday morning they arrive while I am writing entries for the blog. Today is very warm so one of my office windows is wide open.
As the mowers moved into the distance I drew a deep breath of relief that the noise had lessened. Suddenly I was startled by a loud sound. Evidently a Robin had landed in the garden mulch below the window and began to sing. I about jumped out of my skin!
When close to your ear this one can be startling!
The tulip bulbs have been decimated by the rabbits – again. I put up spinners and wooden stakes, fence pieces and even aluminum pie pans that mom swore by. I finally told my grandson when he was due to come help in the garden with his dad that he should dig up all the tulip bulbs. Before the family could get here those pesky rabbits ate all the stems and leaves. Guess I will dig them up next year when they first emerge!
Ah the joys of nature! They do not conform to our wishes. And yes, we are still blowing maple seeds off the back deck and front walkway 😉
To the Lord your God belong the heavens, even the highest heavens, the earth and everything in it. Deuteronomy 10:14 NIV
Yep! The birds, the tulips, the rabbits, the maple seeds, the mower men and everything under the sun! Even you and me.
I signed up a long time ago for a newsletter from Joan Chittister. I so enjoy her writing! This one arrived recently in my email box and I thought you might enjoy her ideas. Here is a portion of the article. I have added a link at the end in case you want to read the entire article It is taken from her book The Monastic Heart.
What You Pay Attention to in Life
“Every afternoon, as I sit in my upstairs office, I hear the old monastery bells begin to ring in the once Benedictine church that then adjoined this inner-city monastery. In fact, the bells from Benedictine monasteries everywhere still peal out around the world. Our original monastery moved over 50 years ago from an in-town property to the edge of the city. So, we have another bell tower and a new electronic carillon. The big old brass bell, “Theodore,” shipped from Germany ages ago, now rests retired and reverenced on a brick base in the memorial garden of the new monastery. New bells go on ringing over our lakeside property daily, just as the old one did here in the inner city for more than 150 years. No bedroom clocks, no personal watches take their place as harbingers of spiritual time.
“But why?
“The purpose of Benedictine bells is not to spell out the hour of the day at all; that task is left to horologists. Our bells, on the other hand, are there to wrench our attention back to what is really important in life: the memory of God in our midst. The memory of the purpose of life. The memory that time is moving on and so must we. The recognition that life today is different than yesterday, and we must not try to hold life back. The bells jog the memory that there are actually more important, more meaningful, more demanding dimensions of life than anything ordinary we can possibly be doing as they ring.”
The bells are there to “wrench our attention back to what is really important in life: the memory of God in our midst.” I occasionally hear the bells from the Catholic church that is several blocks away and through the woods. When I notice them I stop to breathe deeply and pray. I more often hear the sirens going down the busy highway two blocks away. I have made it a habit to pray for the police, EMS and fire people responding to their various emergencies. I like Joan’s idea of ‘wrenching our attention back to what is really important in life.‘ I think I will continue to pray for the emergency workers but also pause to ask myself if I am remembering God in our midst whenever I hear the sirens.
What reminds you of the presence of God in your midst? We have two clocks that chime. A Cuckoo clock that was a gift from friends who traveled to Germany and my parents mantel clock that was a gift for their wedding in 1934, almost 90 years ago, and it still runs. At times, living with the clocks, I do not even hear them ring. Bob says they draw him back to what is really important.
What serves to wrench your attention back to God? Years ago when I taught Bible study I would encourage the students to find something they do daily. Then prayerfully dedicate that to the awareness of God. As a daily practice begins to build, the awareness of the Holy One becomes easier and easier. I used to dislike bracelets. I would wear one so that each time I was bothered or irritated by the bracelet I was reminded to turn my attention to God.
Sirens? Church bells? Bracelet? Huge water bottle you drink from all day? In this day and age it would be fairly simple to set your smart watch to ring once an hour as a reminder to pay attention to the Trinity in your midst. To stop and breathe, returning ‘back to what is really important in life.’
“The bells jog the memory that there are actually more important, more meaningful, more demanding dimensions of life than anything ordinary we can possibly be doing as they ring.”
The Verdin Bell Company is anchored in the Cincinnati area. They have made, installed and restored church bells for years. Perhaps this photo will encourage you to restore your attention to the Holy One?
Seven times a day I praise You, Because of Your righteous judgments.
My friend, Debbie, told me about a free app called “Merlin.” https://merlin.allaboutbirds.org/ Cornell labs developed it and I just love it! Pictured below is how the screen looks for Merlin.
Years ago Bob and I went on a birding adventure with the Cincinnati Nature Center in the Lake Erie area. We were surrounded on a boardwalk by people from many areas. The birds were mostly high in the treetops. Even with binoculars I was unable to see most of them. The birdsong was glorious! I was very humbled when the Amish children walking with us were able to identify the birds by their song. Yes I live in an industrialized society. Sadly most of us lost touch with that sort of skill. I was taught to identify some spring wildflowers but never to identify bird song. Bob and I were not shamed as much as amazed at the abilities of those children!
Shout for joy to God, all the earth! 2 Sing the glory of his name; make his praise glorious. 3 Say to God, “How awesome are your deeds! So great is your power that your enemies cringe before you. 4 All the earth bows down to you; they sing praise to you, they sing the praises of your name.”
Psalm 66:1-4 NIV
I have my morning prayer and meditation in my bedroom next to a south facing window. One recent morning the serenade was amazing. There were so many birds that I asked the Merlin App to identify who was singing. Twelve different birds! What a wonder and a blessing. Here is the list the app created:
Carolina Wren
Northern Cardinal
House Finch
Tufted Titmouse
American Robin
Song Sparrow
Blue Jay
Brown-headed Cowbird
Canada Goose
Carolina Chickadee
White-throated Sparrow
Red-winged Blackbird
Along with the bird names that were linked with the songs there were photos. I could click on any one of them and get more details.
I know there are many folks who do not like modern technology. I am not saying that all of it is unequivocally good. But to me, this one app is absolutely amazing! Sparrows abound in our neck of the state. So did I see the one pictured above or this one?
So many sparrows, so little time. Will I ever learn to identify all of them by sight? If not, I have Merlin to aid me.
Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. 7 Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
Luke 12:6-7 NIV
The April 15 New Yorker just arrived. Here is the cover artwork!
As the weather warms as it has the past couple of days, Lucky the beagle loves nothing better than to lie on the deck and bake her bones in the sun. The other day I opened the screen door to let her in.
Zoom a bee came in with her.” “Oh crap,” I exclaimed. the bee headed for the stereo cabinet. I turned to grab a couple of tissues, (the closest thing at hand). When I turned back it had gone inside the cabinet. Opened the door and it was headed for a plastic storage bin. I knew I had to act fast or I might never catch it.
Do you remember the childhood song, “I caught a little baby bumble bee, won’t my mommy be so proud of me!”
Unbelievably, using the tissues I swiped at it hoping to keep it from the cabinet. Surprisingly I knocked it right into the dog’s water bowl! Bee was swimming and rather frantic.
As an adult I have never been one to kill a bee intentionally unless there is no other way to avoid getting a sting. I went to the silverware drawer and got a tablespoon. Scooped up the bee. Put the tissues over it. Took it outside, not knowing if it would survive its unwanted bath.
It flew away. I have since tried to look around the screen before opening it for the dog. Yesterday there was a sting bug crawling on the screen. Summer must be just around the corner!
Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Proverbs 16:24
Lucky is aging.
The speech below was recorded 13 years ago. The need right now is even more urgent today. Even if you only watch 3 minutes of this I think you will enjoy it!
Treasures in Plain Sight, A Christian Blog 