Did You Skin Your Knee?

As a child did you ever skin your knee? Remember how it burned and bled and seemed like the pain would not end? I was the princess of skinned knees. It took me years to learn to ride a bike. Often, I fell off my bike at the end of a neighbor’s drive. That area of the drive was coated with cinders from the winter weather. Yep, once I managed to pack them in my knee. The doctor (whom you may recall I was terrified of after six weeks in traction at age three) said either he could remove them or I could sit in a bathtub of water and scrub them out myself. I chose the bathtub. That was NOT an enjoyable bath time! I had scars on both knees most of my childhood. I did finally master bicycle riding and thoroughly enjoyed it.

Recently I was eating lunch at the Sisters of Charity Convent and looked up at the large crucifix on the dining room wall. Something struck me as unusual. This one depicted His knees bleeding. Regardless of what version we embrace, I think we can all agree that on the way to Golgotha, Jesus did fall down. I never before noticed His knees on any crucifix I have seen.

According to tradition and the Stations of the Cross, Jesus fell three times while carrying the Cross. The first fall symbolizes Jesus’s agony and suffering as He began His journey to Calvary. It serves as a reminder of the physical and emotional pain Jesus experienced for the salvation of humanity.

The second fall signifies Jesus’s enormous burden for the world’s sins. Despite the immense weight of the Cross, He continued to persevere, demonstrating His unwavering commitment to fulfilling the Father’s will.

The third fall represents the ultimate triumph of Jesus’ redemptive mission. Despite His exhaustion and suffering, He rose again, showcasing His resilience and conquering the powers of sin and death.

These three falls convey the physical and spiritual struggles Jesus faced, highlighting the depth of His love and sacrifice for humanity.

In the biblical context, the falls of Jesus while carrying the Cross are not explicitly mentioned. However, the Stations of the Cross have been widely accepted in Christian tradition as a means of meditating on the suffering and death of Jesus. https://christianpure.com/learn/jesus-cross-journey-distance/

We are often shown the scars on His hands and feet and side when there is a depiction of the Risen Lord. Have you considered His knees? Those knees that bent so often in prayer. Those knees that spent hours in the Garden of Olives praying.

I bend my knees in reverence to the One who bled and died for us. The One Who took our place and continues to intercede on our behalf. All glory be to You, Lord Christ.

33 Who will bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is to condemn? It is Christ Jesus, who died, yes, who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who indeed intercedes for us. Romans 8:33-34 NIV

14 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven,  Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. 16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:14-16 NIV1 John 2:1-13

My little children, I am writing you these things so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ the righteous one. He himself is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours, but also for those of the whole world. 1 John 2:1-3 CSB

Thank you, precious Lord, for all You have done and will do for us!

Offering Things to God

I have and know others who have offered their suffering to God on behalf of others. At Lent many of us give up or sacrifice certain foods or thoughts patterns to God. We have almost all heard of folks who have prayed “If You will just save my child (let this pass, fill in the blank) I will always serve You from now on.”

I am not the Lord, but I think He certainly honors some of those prayers. He is rather specific about what He wants the most from us. Read the passage below.

Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God,
    and keep the vows you made to the Most High.
15 Then call on me when you are in trouble,
    and I will rescue you,
    and you will give me glory
. Psalm 50:14-15 NLT

Is thankfulness your sacrifice to God? Have you ever consciously made a sacrifice of praise to the Almighty One? Have you made vows to God? I do not mean vows like are made in religious institutions, but within your personal relationship with the Almighty.

Traditionally most married folks made vows to one another to remain faithful to their relationship. That does not always work out, but it is logical starting place. There are many hymns about the promises of God but almost none about our vows or promises to Him! Why is that? Because we are ingrates.

In the New Testament Stephen is speaking to the Jews after Jesus had risen, this is just before he was stoned to death.

“You stiff-necked people! Your hearts and ears are still uncircumcised. You are just like your ancestors: You always resist the Holy Spirit! 52 Was there ever a prophet your ancestors did not persecute? They even killed those who predicted the coming of the Righteous One. And now you have betrayed and murdered him— 53 you who have received the law that was given through angels but have not obeyed it.” Acts 7: 51-53 NIV

Lord, I have been a stiff-necked person, too. Help me to fulfill the vows I made to You. Help me to constantly offer the sacrifice of thankfulness to You. You alone are worthy of these things. Help me be faithful and true to You. Amen.

Therefore, let us offer through Jesus a continual sacrifice of praise to God, proclaiming our allegiance to his name. Hebrews 13:15 NLT

Currently

As you read this I am on my way to a six night, seven day retreat with my spiritual director. I made this adventure last year and am really looking forward to the experience once again. So I likely will not be posting on the blog next week. My typical routine is to write on Monday and Tuesday mornings and post Wednesday through Sunday. This week I will reside in a Sisters of Charity guest room. Private room with half bath, shared but private shower room. All meals included plus nice grounds for walking, rooms for prayer, art work. Just a lovely place. They even have a huge church in the building if I want to go there.

We changed from one internet/TV/phone provider to another last week so Bob in particular has been busy, busy this week with setting up remote controls, learning the remote basics and getting us all situated. I typed a smaller channel guide from the large one they provided.

I have been learning how to use the CGM, (Continuous Glucose Monitor) to make my decisions about foods I eat, how often I eat, etc. The two most annoying things are when the alarm from this device rings in the night and when it loses signal. I even changed the device implanted on my arm on my own this week! Took out the old one (painless). Inserted the new one which was painless but still foreign to me. The hardest thing was getting the container for the new one open. I had to get Bob to do it. I was not strong enough. Grrr. Doctor has changed when I take one of the diabetic medications. We are still working to adjust some aspects of my care.

Lucky, our special beagle is improving with her new monthly arthritis injection, Librela. Her tail is much more straight as she walks now and she can walk further than 2 months ago. She still gets stiff (we can relate!) but she seems to be in much less pain.

Bob has resumed riding his bike at least once a week. We both walk for exercise most every morning. I have been clocking at least one mile a day. Told myself I can take a day off when there is morning rain. Trying to work up to longer walks which will be a challenge in this hot, humid weather. Ha! at the convent I can even walk when it rains! No idea how many times I will need to circle a floor to get a mile! Not quite ready to attempt their indoor stairs.

Three old dogs living here and maybe not new tricks, but adapting to changing ages, technology and health. Whew! It can be a lot of work to keep up, stay calm and work at something you are unfamiliar with. So that is the Dutina update!

I pray you are each doing your fair share of adapting to change and growing in new technological advances!

Tiny Brass Chair

Sitting in my prayer chair, waking up the morning of May 31st, I heard this:

Even to your old age and gray hairs
    I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
    I will sustain you and I will rescue you.
Isaiah 46:4 NIV

The Message of the same verse reads:

“Listen to me, family of Jacob,
    everyone that’s left of the family of Israel.
I’ve been carrying you on my back
    from the day you were born,
And I’ll keep on carrying you when you’re old.
    I’ll be there, bearing you when you’re old and gray.
I’ve done it and will keep on doing it,
    carrying you on my back, saving you.”

Brings to mind the image of refugees or flood victims fleeing and carrying old people on their backs. Proud Americans do not like to think this image is about them, yet we all need God to carry us, regardless of age.

Listening to Lectio 360 the same day they related a story about a man whose wife battled chronic illness for 20 years. People WANT someone to blame. Many years ago when I sought prayer for strength and courage to cope with my chronic illness a “charismatic” preacher said to me, “I thought you knew better than that,” as if I should never be ill. Shame is not helpful in those situations! God TOLD me He would be with me in the fibromyalgia.

Should I push God aside and shout, “but You have to heal me! You promised if I did such and so I would be healed.” We tend to see others who have physical afflictions as if they are less than ourselves, as if they are responsible for the failing of their body. What a crock of hooey! Those of us who suffer need the courage of the Lion of Judah, the strength of the Risen Christ to help in times of need.

 Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16 NRSV

Even Bob was struck in Lectio by the story of the woman with chronic illness. He wanted to be certain I listened on that day, and I had. The story is like what I was told … there is unresolved anger in your past, that is why you are ill. Let us just pray over you …sleep on a bed of magnets to be healed …drink this particular juice made from an exotic fruit … its all in your head. (Yep! those are actual things I was told!)

And to the remark about it all being in my head I replied, “Yes, in my head, my elbows, shoulders, hips. You name it I hurt there or I did last week or will next week.”

Fibro caused me to live in a high state of denial. That same logic does not work with diabetes. I AM angry at having diabetes, but I understand some of the disease in under my control, though there are many factors that are not. The Continuous Glucose Monitor no longer lets me live in that state of denial regarding diabetes. I must confess I am shocked at the effect certain foods have upon me. I must limit or eliminate those from my consumption.

In my nick knack collection I have a tiny brass chair that used to be in the windowsill. It reminds me that Christ is in our midst, ‘the unseen guest at every meal’. In the photo below it fell forward in the glass fronted case. At first I wondered how long it had been like that? Then I wondered if I could right it without dropping it behind the bookcase that rests below the display? Then I rejoiced that AGAIN the Lord has gotten my attention. I set a place for Him at the table of my life.


Lord God, Ruler of the Universe, give me eyes to see and ears to hear that I might proclaim Your glory.

O Lord our God

Have you ever visited a place and later thought, “Wow! I wish I had stayed longer.” We need to linger in those places that touch our souls. I feel this way about the National Cathedral in Washington D.C.

I think I need to begin my prayers addressing my Father as Lord God Ruler of the Universe. How often I seem to forget that fact. The things of this world and the drama of American politics, (where some of the actors think they are the most important beings) distracts and disgusts me.

But my Father, the Lord God Ruler of the Universe is not bothered by those things. Just as the fish and turtles at the nature center are not concerned with my blood glucose, my Father is not distracted by things of the world.

Lord God, Ruler of the Universe, it seems as if You are not in charge, but I know what Your Word says. You win. I believe You are Alpha and Omega, Ruler of the World.

As depicted below from the Walker Hancock High Altar, National Cathedral, Washington D.C.

May Your power be known and recognized in America as the only power going on forever. May every knee bow and every tongue confess that You are Lord.

I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.

14 “Blessed are those who wash their robes, that they may have the right to the tree of life and may go through the gates into the city. 15 Outside are the dogs, those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehood. Revelation 22: 13-15 NIV

Lord God Ruler of the Universe I worship and adore You.

Did You Watch It?

Season 4 Episode 1 of The Chosen was broadcast last weekend and we were delighted to have it on again. Very interesting that the church we visited used many of the same Scriptures and images that the show did. Made me wonder if they have an “in” with the program or if it was just the Holy Spirit at work, again!

When I attended the Soul Collage retreat in May of this year I found this picture. It moved me deeply. I share it with you not knowing if there is a copyright on it or not. If there is, my apologies to the photographer.

I immediately thought of the prayer quoted in the Eucharist by some churches:

"Blessed are you, Lord God of all creation,
for through your goodness we have received
the wine we offer you:
fruit of the vine and work of human hands,
it will become our spiritual drink."

And like in the Chosen, the website Jewish Voice says:

Blessed are You O Lord, our God, King of the Universe, who creates the fruit of the vine.

To me, it is no small thing the the Lord draws all of these things together for us. It is my plan to write the prayer of blessing/thanksgiving on the photo.

When we had our very first house on 1/2 acre of land, Bob not only planted a large garden but also wanted to grow grapes. And grow them he did! I quickly learned that if I was going to help harvest the grapes I better wear rubber gloves (thicker than cotton garden gloves) in case the wasps and bees were there ahead of me. Now we are fortunate if we can purchase fresh concord grapes in a market.

Blessed are You O Lord our God, King of the Universe. May we always see Your hand at work in our midst.

June 1st!

New Month and at the end we will be halfway through 2024. How did that happen?

The epidural I had did not take away the pain in my back/hip. The pain specialist decided I will benefit from a “Medial Branch Block.” Medicare requires two trial injections first. So I will go in this month and have the first injection. He says we should be able to tell immediately if it is effective. Then I return for a followup visit. They will then schedule the second trial. If that also works, I will get an injection that basically will burn the nerve that goes to that hip. It is not supposed to impair anything else. Relief can last 6-9 months? When the nerve grows back he can administer the burning of the nerve repeatedly without the trial injections. That is good news to me. I was plenty discouraged when the pain was there after the previous injection.

And more good new! Baby Francesca got he new heart and should be headed home soon. Lucky dog has responded well to first injection of arthritis medication. She has now had her second and things are looking good for her!

This month I also get to make another 6 day retreat with a spiritual director. I am so looking forward to that! Last year I learned so much about myself and my direction. This year my quest is similar.

I am seeking what the Lord would want me to do with all this writing. I believe I am to take selections from the blog and rework them, perhaps for a booklet? I will remove YouTube links and multiple photos. Trying to get at the gist of what I am saying … Words fail me to tell you more.

Suffice it to say if you have favorites among what you have read on this blog I would love to hear from you what that selection is. You can refer to the date or title. I am fairly certain I can locate with just that info. It is very hard to re-read what I have written and choose a few favorites for myself. I have 3 local people looking through the printouts and marking them with post-its. Rewriting will take a lot of work, but I don’t mind writing work. Just trying to find where I go, what I do from here.

Thanks for your help!

I will praise the Lord, who counsels me;
    even at night my heart instructs me.
Psalm 16:7 NIV

Praise the Lord, all his works
    everywhere in his dominion.

Praise the Lord, my soul. Psalm 103:22 NIV

Stream of Consciousness

Have you ever just sat and written a stream of consciousness on paper or on a computer? It can be an amazing experiment showing where you have been and where you are. What follows are a few of my random entries. Maybe it will spark ideas on how you can benefit from it.

Looking back at a torn page from travel: Rhododendron leaves reflect the sun as if festooned with tiny mirrors. A breeze blows through and the mirrors reflect the movement of the wind.

Help me daily to sit in silence and LET GO everything

As I child I “sang, stop, look and listen.” As an adult God asks me to stop, look and listen to Him, to my life around me, to my inner chatter that threatens to block out His voice.To hear as one with opened ears.

The guy next door is riding his mower around after the tremendous rains and soaring temperatures we have had lately. I hear him humming around and around his house. The sound carries into the office in the front of our house where I am writing. He has no idea I am writing about him, (I giggle).

When was the last time I came to a full stop? Likely at the cemetery where the headstone says Daughters. And I listened for the Holy One to speak. I was not disappointed.

I wish all of my word processors would autocorrect when I type teh and make it the.

The sky is full of wing shaped clouds this morning. Are they to remind me of angels’ wings or to take shelter under the wing of the Almighty?

Where is your brain? Can you tap into the chatter and then will you choose what to weed out? Point your focus upon the Christ and see where He leads you!

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.  Hebrews 12:1-2a NIV

You are in charge of what you allow to remain in your mind.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV

What Fear Can Do

Took me years to attend the group called Women Writing for a Change. I was raised in an alcoholic home. The number one form of child discipline was criticism and shame. The idea of sharing my writing with a group of women for critique was beyond intimidating to me.

This is part of my speed writing exercise from that meeting. “She walked into the meeting space blinded at first by the brilliant morning sun. As her eyes settled in, the sudden realization broke over her that this is not much different than crochet group. A bunch of women with a common interest. Huh. Wonder why she never considered that before?  Fear can do nasty things to women of sound mind.  So here she is today, willing to expose herself to this practice of sharing her writing and  “listening to others’ writing with attention and deep listening.” God, help me give them the same consideration I desire.

When it was my turn to share, I felt like a child as I gulped and read my poem aloud. Did not tell them I wrote this after our daughter’s wedding as we sat at the beach. At the time, I was absolutely exhausted and glad for a time to be refreshed.

At the Sea ©1997 Molly Lin Dutina
Distant silver horizon
Birthed by Your Light
Breaks through leaden skies
Enlightens slate-colored seas
Calls me to You
Closer to You
Given over to You
Nothing withheld.

And I yield to You
To lie in Your arms
Imbibing Holy Breath
Entire being – renewed.

Your sparkling glow
Moves rapidly across the expanse of water
To here and now
You surround me
Uphold me
Indwell me
Live through me.

How could I ever hesitate
Preferring dim to illumined?
You enlighten me
Flaws, shortcomings,
Weaknesses, strengths and all.
Fact: You love me.
Fact: You desire me
You declare I am Yours.

Like sudden deep piles of shells
Buried, unseen yesterday
Revealed today by the powerful tide
Your Kingdom unfolds before me and
Yes, Lord, I yield
Knowing You go with me
And will arrive ahead of me
You have my life in Your scarred hands.

Abiding under Your wing
Your Light fills the throne room
And I must close my eyes
To bear Your brightness
O, All-Powerful Lord,
I refuse to doubt Your methods
Your holy mercy endures
As You bathe me
In Your everlasting Love.

Come my King
O Light Eternal
Bring forth the treasure
You have hidden within me
As I embrace Your will
Illumine me.


The practice was for those of us who were listening to write down phrases that struck us as the others read. When all the readings were finished, we participated in ‘popcorn’ response, each of us just saying out loud what hit us. I was touched by the words that came from what I had written. I shared lines from others, too.

I am not certain this practice group is what I need. I am not going to sign up for the 10 week group that begins in a day or two. I believe God will show me where to share my writing and what the plan is for the future. If that plan becomes Women Writing for a Change I will post it here.

Yesterday I went to the garage to put used sharps in the red container. As I stepped close to the container on top of the freezer I saw a snake. A very large snake (maybe 4-5 feet long) draped along the base of Bob’s antique lab chair on wheels. Fear can do nasty things to women of sound mind. I made it into the house to call Bob. He came running and grabbed the old wooden cane from Scotland. He too was surprised at the size. Told me to move the car. While I went to get the keys he decided to roll the lab chair, complete with snake, out of the garage and into the grass. He clubbed it on the ground with the cane. Asked me to get a five gallon bucket because it was still alive… Using the cane he put it in the bucket and continued to club it. That racket of cane clubbing within plastic bucket brought out the neighbor. He too recently had a snake in his garage, though not this large. We told him his snake has been feeding and growing! He teased us that it looked meaty. We could have it for supper. I told him naw, he could have it all.

Bob took a photo. Yuck.

Finally determined this was a gray rat snake. Oh gross. I do not want to post a photo of what the snake looked like. Feel free to look it up yourself! It is dead. I amazingly did not have nightmares about it. What is it about snakes? I have this primeval fear that makes me freeze when I see a snake. I become almost incoherent. Is it linked to Scripture when Eve was deceived by the serpent?

So the Lord God said to the serpent:

“Because you have done this,
You are cursed more than all cattle,
And more than every beast of the field;
On your belly you shall go,
And you shall eat dust
All the days of your life.
Genesis 3:14 NIV

I often wonder what I will do in these situations if Bob should die before I do. Dealing with snakes might be the worst one I can imagine. If – the snake had gone behind the freezer (which is where it was headed). If – I had not seen it when I did. Oh I could go on and on with scary scenarios of IF. Bob’s favorite: IF we had opened the door to the garage and it had entered the house. EWW!

For today, I am glad the snake is gone and my husband of 53+ years is still with me. Forgive me, Father, for my inordinate fear. Lead and guide me in how You wish to use the writing and I pray it is all to Your glory.

I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
    he delivered me from all my fears.
Psalm 34:4

My Thin Place

The photo above shows the outside of what remains of the church called Teampall Bhreacain, Na Seacht dTeampaill, County Galway, Ireland. I believe it is also known as Church of the Hollow. I think r m dutina took all of these photos, but honestly I cannot remember. We were wandering separately around the grounds. When he caught up to me I could barely speak!

The altar from afar
Through the window of the ages
Past the thick walls of time
Stands a symbol of death
Nay! Bright resurrection
Hope of all men

The rough stones placed
In geometrically sound patterns
Of worship, of honor, of praise
Roofless now
that heaven may freely break through
to us of long ages later
Arches , capstones, edges of time
Torn by the worship of long ago
Until our hearts are lifted up
To worship the same lovely truth

You came for us
You come to us still
To have us for Your own
Encircling with Spirit
Invading with Holy
Illumine our techno age
With truth of heaven
Power of Holy
Spirit of Life.

Why would I want to return to Church of the Hollow at Inishmore? I could have sat there for hours, listening, praying, in worship and wonder. Next time I would return with a folding chair!

This is where you sing Psalm 84!

And the walk down to the sea.