Sitting in my prayer chair, waking up the morning of May 31st, I heard this:
Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. Isaiah 46:4 NIV
The Message of the same verse reads:
“Listen to me, family of Jacob, everyone that’s left of the family of Israel. I’ve been carrying you on my back from the day you were born, And I’ll keep on carrying you when you’re old. I’ll be there, bearing you when you’re old and gray. I’ve done it and will keep on doing it, carrying you on my back, saving you.”
Brings to mind the image of refugees or flood victims fleeing and carrying old people on their backs. Proud Americans do not like to think this image is about them, yet we all need God to carry us, regardless of age.
Listening to Lectio 360 the same day they related a story about a man whose wife battled chronic illness for 20 years. People WANT someone to blame. Many years ago when I sought prayer for strength and courage to cope with my chronic illness a “charismatic” preacher said to me, “I thought you knew better than that,” as if I should never be ill. Shame is not helpful in those situations! God TOLD me He would be with me in the fibromyalgia.
Should I push God aside and shout, “but You have to heal me! You promised if I did such and so I would be healed.” We tend to see others who have physical afflictions as if they are less than ourselves, as if they are responsible for the failing of their body. What a crock of hooey! Those of us who suffer need the courage of the Lion of Judah, the strength of the Risen Christ to help in times of need.
Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16 NRSV
Even Bob was struck in Lectio by the story of the woman with chronic illness. He wanted to be certain I listened on that day, and I had. The story is like what I was told … there is unresolved anger in your past, that is why you are ill. Let us just pray over you …sleep on a bed of magnets to be healed …drink this particular juice made from an exotic fruit … its all in your head. (Yep! those are actual things I was told!)
And to the remark about it all being in my head I replied, “Yes, in my head, my elbows, shoulders, hips. You name it I hurt there or I did last week or will next week.”
Fibro caused me to live in a high state of denial. That same logic does not work with diabetes. I AM angry at having diabetes, but I understand some of the disease in under my control, though there are many factors that are not. The Continuous Glucose Monitor no longer lets me live in that state of denial regarding diabetes. I must confess I am shocked at the effect certain foods have upon me. I must limit or eliminate those from my consumption.
In my nick knack collection I have a tiny brass chair that used to be in the windowsill. It reminds me that Christ is in our midst, ‘the unseen guest at every meal’. In the photo below it fell forward in the glass fronted case. At first I wondered how long it had been like that? Then I wondered if I could right it without dropping it behind the bookcase that rests below the display? Then I rejoiced that AGAIN the Lord has gotten my attention. I set a place for Him at the table of my life.
Lord God, Ruler of the Universe, give me eyes to see and ears to hear that I might proclaim Your glory.
Have you ever visited a place and later thought, “Wow! I wish I had stayed longer.” We need to linger in those places that touch our souls. I feel this way about the National Cathedral in Washington D.C.
I think I need to begin my prayers addressing my Father as Lord God Ruler of the Universe. How often I seem to forget that fact. The things of this world and the drama of American politics, (where some of the actors think they are the most important beings) distracts and disgusts me.
But my Father, the Lord God Ruler of the Universe is not bothered by those things. Just as the fish and turtles at the nature center are not concerned with my blood glucose, my Father is not distracted by things of the world.
Lord God, Ruler of the Universe, it seems as if You are not in charge, but I know what Your Word says. You win. I believe You are Alpha and Omega, Ruler of the World.
As depicted below from the Walker Hancock High Altar, National Cathedral, Washington D.C.
May Your power be known and recognized in America as the only power going on forever. May every knee bow and every tongue confess that You are Lord.
I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.
14 “Blessed are those who wash their robes, that they may have the right to the tree of life and may go through the gates into the city. 15 Outside are the dogs, those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehood. Revelation 22: 13-15 NIV
Lord God Ruler of the Universe I worship and adore You.
Season 4 Episode 1 of The Chosen was broadcast last weekend and we were delighted to have it on again. Very interesting that the church we visited used many of the same Scriptures and images that the show did. Made me wonder if they have an “in” with the program or if it was just the Holy Spirit at work, again!
When I attended the Soul Collage retreat in May of this year I found this picture. It moved me deeply. I share it with you not knowing if there is a copyright on it or not. If there is, my apologies to the photographer.
I immediately thought of the prayer quoted in the Eucharist by some churches:
"Blessed are you, Lord God of all creation, for through your goodness we have received the wine we offer you: fruit of the vine and work of human hands, it will become our spiritual drink."
And like in the Chosen, the website Jewish Voice says:
Blessed are You O Lord, our God, King of the Universe, who creates the fruit of the vine.
To me, it is no small thing the the Lord draws all of these things together for us. It is my plan to write the prayer of blessing/thanksgiving on the photo.
When we had our very first house on 1/2 acre of land, Bob not only planted a large garden but also wanted to grow grapes. And grow them he did! I quickly learned that if I was going to help harvest the grapes I better wear rubber gloves (thicker than cotton garden gloves) in case the wasps and bees were there ahead of me. Now we are fortunate if we can purchase fresh concord grapes in a market.
Blessed are You O Lord our God, King of the Universe. May we always see Your hand at work in our midst.
Be a lamp or a lifeboat or a ladder. Help someone’s soul heal. Walk out of your house like a shepherd.
RUMI – 13th century poet
My lamp over Grogu’s head – my humor, my lampContemporary Lifeboats
How would you live this out?
Lamp, life boat, or ladder? How do you relate to the idea? Do you shine? Offer assistance? Give a leg up?
Rumi said, “Walk out of your house like a shepherd.” A shepherd is intent on many things. If you are uncertain what those might be, try reading W. Phillip Keller’s A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23.
The only real, practical measure of my appreciation for the goodness and mercy of God to me is the extent to which I am , in turn, prepared to show goodness and mercy to others.
If I am unable to forgive and extend friendship to fallen men and women, then it is quite certain I know little or nothing in a practical sense of Christ’s forgiveness and mercy to me.
It is this lack of love among Christians which today makes the church an insipid, lukewarm institution. People come to find affection and are turned off by our tepidity.
But men and women who know firsthand about the goodness and mercy of God in their own lives will be warm and affectionate with goodness and mercy to others. This is to be a benefit to them, but equally important, it is to be a blessing to God.
Yes, a blessing to God! W. Phillip Keller 1970 A Shepherd Looks At Psalm 23, Chapter 11
How could you possibly help someone’s soul heal? I bet there are more ways than you have ever considered. It is well worth your time to consider this and make the best use of what God has given you and what you are asked to do. I dare you to spend time with this idea and write down what comes to you. Then pray about the ideas and begin to act on those in the context of your life. You just might find treasures in plain sight!
I know there are some who claim the only authentic version of the Bible is the King James version. I am not one of them. I have used the King James, but I find that other translations help me relate to God better. I do not speak King James English or think in King James English.
Recently while visiting a liturgical church I was exposed to Psalm 104 from the St. Helena Psalter. I want to share it with you. Hope I am not violating any copyrights. There is nothing in the program that suggests the church had special permission, so here goes.
25 O Holy One, how manifold are your works! in wisdom you have made them all; the earth is full of your creatures. 26 Yonder is the great and wide seas with its living this too many to number creatures both small and great. 27 There move the ships, and there is that leviathan. which you have made for the sport of it. 28 All of them look to you to give them their food in due season. 29 You give it to them; they gather it; You open your hand, and they are filled with good things. 30 You hide your face, and they are terrified; You take away their breath, And they die and return to their dust. 31 You send forth your Spirit, and they are created; And so you renew the face of the earth. 32 May the glory of God endure for ever: May the Holy One rejoice in all his works. 33 God looks at the earth and it trembles; God touches the mountains and they some. 34 I will sing to God as long as I live; I will praise my God while I have my being. 35 May these words of mine find favor; I will rejoice in the Holy One. 37 Bless the Holy One, O my soul. Hallelujah!
Perhaps the whale shark is the Leviathan? Saw these on a PBS special recently. Was amazed at their size!
Have you ever just sat and written a stream of consciousness on paper or on a computer? It can be an amazing experiment showing where you have been and where you are. What follows are a few of my random entries. Maybe it will spark ideas on how you can benefit from it.
Looking back at a torn page from travel: Rhododendron leaves reflect the sun as if festooned with tiny mirrors. A breeze blows through and the mirrors reflect the movement of the wind.
Help me daily to sit in silence and LET GO everything
As I child I “sang, stop, look and listen.” As an adult God asks me to stop, look and listen to Him, to my life around me, to my inner chatter that threatens to block out His voice.To hear as one with opened ears.
The guy next door is riding his mower around after the tremendous rains and soaring temperatures we have had lately. I hear him humming around and around his house. The sound carries into the office in the front of our house where I am writing. He has no idea I am writing about him, (I giggle).
When was the last time I came to a full stop? Likely at the cemetery where the headstone says Daughters. And I listened for the Holy One to speak. I was not disappointed.
I wish all of my word processors would autocorrect when I type teh and make it the.
The sky is full of wing shaped clouds this morning. Are they to remind me of angels’ wings or to take shelter under the wing of the Almighty?
Where is your brain? Can you tap into the chatter and then will you choose what to weed out? Point your focus upon the Christ and see where He leads you!
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. Hebrews 12:1-2a NIV
You are in charge of what you allow to remain in your mind.
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV
Took me years to attend the group called Women Writing for a Change. I was raised in an alcoholic home. The number one form of child discipline was criticism and shame. The idea of sharing my writing with a group of women for critique was beyond intimidating to me.
This is part of my speed writing exercise from that meeting. “She walked into the meeting space blinded at first by the brilliant morning sun. As her eyes settled in, the sudden realization broke over her that this is not much different than crochet group. A bunch of women with a common interest. Huh. Wonder why she never considered that before? Fear can do nasty things to women of sound mind. So here she is today, willing to expose herself to this practice of sharing her writing and “listening to others’ writing with attention and deep listening.” God, help me give them the same consideration I desire.
When it was my turn to share, I felt like a child as I gulped and read my poem aloud. Did not tell them I wrote this after our daughter’s wedding as we sat at the beach. At the time, I was absolutely exhausted and glad for a time to be refreshed.
And I yield to You To lie in Your arms Imbibing Holy Breath Entire being – renewed.
Your sparkling glow Moves rapidly across the expanse of water To here and now You surround me Uphold me Indwell me Live through me.
How could I ever hesitate Preferring dim to illumined? You enlighten me Flaws, shortcomings, Weaknesses, strengths and all. Fact: You love me. Fact: You desire me You declare I am Yours.
Like sudden deep piles of shells Buried, unseen yesterday Revealed today by the powerful tide Your Kingdom unfolds before me and Yes, Lord, I yield Knowing You go with me And will arrive ahead of me You have my life in Your scarred hands.
Abiding under Your wing Your Light fills the throne room And I must close my eyes To bear Your brightness O, All-Powerful Lord, I refuse to doubt Your methods Your holy mercy endures As You bathe me In Your everlasting Love.
Come my King O Light Eternal Bring forth the treasure You have hidden within me As I embrace Your will Illumine me.
The practice was for those of us who were listening to write down phrases that struck us as the others read. When all the readings were finished, we participated in ‘popcorn’ response, each of us just saying out loud what hit us. I was touched by the words that came from what I had written. I shared lines from others, too.
I am not certain this practice group is what I need. I am not going to sign up for the 10 week group that begins in a day or two. I believe God will show me where to share my writing and what the plan is for the future. If that plan becomes Women Writing for a Change I will post it here.
Yesterday I went to the garage to put used sharps in the red container. As I stepped close to the container on top of the freezer I saw a snake. A very large snake (maybe 4-5 feet long) draped along the base of Bob’s antique lab chair on wheels. Fear can do nasty things to women of sound mind. I made it into the house to call Bob. He came running and grabbed the old wooden cane from Scotland. He too was surprised at the size. Told me to move the car. While I went to get the keys he decided to roll the lab chair, complete with snake, out of the garage and into the grass. He clubbed it on the ground with the cane. Asked me to get a five gallon bucket because it was still alive… Using the cane he put it in the bucket and continued to club it. That racket of cane clubbing within plastic bucket brought out the neighbor. He too recently had a snake in his garage, though not this large. We told him his snake has been feeding and growing! He teased us that it looked meaty. We could have it for supper. I told him naw, he could have it all.
Bob took a photo. Yuck.
Finally determined this was a gray rat snake. Oh gross. I do not want to post a photo of what the snake looked like. Feel free to look it up yourself! It is dead. I amazingly did not have nightmares about it. What is it about snakes? I have this primeval fear that makes me freeze when I see a snake. I become almost incoherent. Is it linked to Scripture when Eve was deceived by the serpent?
So the Lord God said to the serpent:
“Because you have done this, You are cursed more than all cattle, And more than every beast of the field; On your belly you shall go, And you shall eat dust All the days of your life. Genesis 3:14 NIV
I often wonder what I will do in these situations if Bob should die before I do. Dealing with snakes might be the worst one I can imagine. If – the snake had gone behind the freezer (which is where it was headed). If – I had not seen it when I did. Oh I could go on and on with scary scenarios of IF. Bob’s favorite: IF we had opened the door to the garage and it had entered the house. EWW!
For today, I am glad the snake is gone and my husband of 53+ years is still with me. Forgive me, Father, for my inordinate fear. Lead and guide me in how You wish to use the writing and I pray it is all to Your glory.
I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4
Things that used to be a breeze are now So Very Difficult Routines of self-care take longer and longer. Maybe complicated is a better descriptor?
Not enough to brush my teeth (what few teeth remain). And use the expensive toothpaste the hygienist insists upon. Now there must be floss, rubbery pick, fluoride toothpaste AND DON’T RINSE!
Take bedtime medications, but remember to do it before caring for the teeth because I AM NOT TO RINSE AFTERWARDS. Don’t forget the Tylenol and the other over the counter pill that aids with sleep. Inject the right units of insulin.
Use the fluoride rinse if you can fit it in. Perhaps do that after I eat breakfast? Use that rubbery pick thing after every meal. Last night after dinner I used it while watching TV. Then I noticed that some of the green bristles were missing. WAIT a minute!! Aren’t we supposed to be careful NOT to ingest plastic? Oi, the drama never ends!
Once a month inject that biologic that crushes the psoriasis. Thank goodness the pharmaceutical company provides it free of cost. Have to mark it on the calendar just like the dog’s tablet for anti-flea medication.
Now I am going to be wearing a continuous glucose monitor. Medicare covers the cost of that thing. The doctor’s office will teach us how to install it. Another insert-able thing, this one in the back of my arm. “Not always the same arm, not always the same place, not in a lump or scar.” Monitor should link to my iPhone to give readouts. If I link it to the reader they sent, I cannot use my iPhone to get the readings. Supposed to help teach me the impact of what I eat by showing me moment to moment what my blood glucose is. Check readout before each meal. If it goes too high I am to inject more insulin. They will have to teach me how much and when. This seems like a lot to manage. I will also need to change the device weekly.
Wait! I was taught to check my glucose 2 hours after eating. I smack my forehead and groan. I confuse easily!
Oh, I am a lot to manage!
Does continuous monitor mean I no longer have to begin the day with a finger stick? Well, at first I have to do both. Crap. I get so tired of needles.
Add to that the stretches as I continue to recover from shoulder surgery. If the plantar fasciitis flares up return to doing those stretches, too.
Oh by gosh, by golly! I feel as old as Santa and a lot less spry. Bob reminds me that I have “better living through modern chemistry.” So I fill the prescription boxes for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and bedtime, 2 weeks worth. I always say a prayer of gratitude that I am able to afford the medications I need.
The iPhone says if I want to add the weather to my watch face that is called a “complication.” Same for the date and time. I suppose I am just a ‘complicated’ woman. Glad to be cared for, even if I complain. I tell God, “I’m trying.” God replies, “Yes, dear, very trying.”
Learning to turn all of this from overwhelming to let God have it. The Trinity is willing and able to direct my steps and help me walk through these things. I name them one by one and ask the Holy One to direct my steps. I relinquish these challenges to You and ask for comfort and wisdom in how to manage all of it.
But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. James 3:17 NLT
Eventually, new things can become routine. Does anyone know how to make certain I take the lunch pills at lunch and don’t forget them?
The photo above shows the outside of what remains of the church called Teampall Bhreacain, Na Seacht dTeampaill, County Galway, Ireland. I believe it is also known as Church of the Hollow. I think r m dutina took all of these photos, but honestly I cannot remember. We were wandering separately around the grounds. When he caught up to me I could barely speak!
The altar from afar
Through the window of the ages Past the thick walls of time Stands a symbol of death Nay! Bright resurrection Hope of all men
The rough stones placed In geometrically sound patterns Of worship, of honor, of praise Roofless now that heaven may freely break through to us of long ages later Arches , capstones, edges of time Torn by the worship of long ago Until our hearts are lifted up To worship the same lovely truth
You came for us You come to us still To have us for Your own Encircling with Spirit Invading with Holy Illumine our techno age With truth of heaven Power of Holy Spirit of Life.
Why would I want to return to Church of the Hollow at Inishmore? I could have sat there for hours, listening, praying, in worship and wonder. Next time I would return with a folding chair!
I did not post much last week because we were a way from home. First I went to the Associates Spring Retreat at the Convent of the Transfiguration where I have been an Associate since 1991. After that I came home on Sunday afternoon, emptied parts of my suitcase into another larger suitcase. On Monday morning we departed for the Great Smoky Mountain National Park to hunt for our favorite wildflowers. It seems like whirlwind now, but it was all loads of fun.
The retreat was led by a man named Kelly Latimore. He has a degree in art and religious studies. Since 2011 he has been painting or as the iconographers say ‘reading’ icons. If you have participated in Lectio Divina, (divine reading of Scripture) you will be able to relate to what he asked us to do. He called it “Visio Divina,” (divine seeing of the icons). It was a fascinating experience. There were about 15 of us in person at the retreat and another group joined us via Zoom.
Kelly would show us a slide of an icon on a large screen. We would begin to share what we saw in the icon. He educated us in the history of making icons and shared the vision for his art.
“However, I do not wish to approach Iconography as an art form that simply follows an inherited tradition, knowledge and practice. I want it to be a creative process, meditation, and practice that brings about new self knowledge for the viewer and myself. Who are the saints that are among us here and now? I feel the need for new images. In some icons I wish to embrace the traditional forms and image but for many icons the image needs re-shaping, re-imagining, and re-wondering.” https://kelly-latimore.pixels.com/
Christ the Light
Mary Magdalene and Christ the Gardener
If you go to his website you can follow the progression of his paintings and icons. There you will see how his talent has grown.
If you have never before used an icon for prayer, here are some pointers from online.
Praying with icons is a contemplative practice wherein we slow down to pray and pay attention to God. This may be done in silence, by talking to God casually, or by using hymns and other ancient prayers. Or even in combination of all three. If you are just getting started in praying with icons, I suggest starting by working on your attentiveness to the image.
Look at your icon. What is the first thing you notice about the image? Where are your eyes drawn? What colours are attracting your attention?
After you have taken in the image, you can start to think about the details. Are the eyes of Christ or the Saint looking at you, or elsewhere? If Christ is looking at you, spend some time gazing back into his eyes. I find this is an especially good practice when I’m working on listening to God.
What other symbols are in the image? Do you know what they mean? What does looking at the icon make you feel right now. What is the icon saying to you?
The retreat was so interesting! Sharing what we each saw or sensed was particularly enriching. Hearing Kelly’s reasoning for how he did the various paintings was educational and nothing I would have understood on my own.
He has paintings in the National Cathedral and many churches throughout the United States. There will be an exhibit at St Paul’s Episcopal Church, Cary, North Carolina on May 4 from 1-7 PM as follows:
“Join us as we welcome acclaimed artist Kelly Latimore to Cary for a show featuring his vibrant and thought-provoking icons. Kelly’s work has appeared nationally in places like the Washington National Cathedral and was selected as the cover of a Pope Francis book of sermons. We will have 25 of his pieces on display throughout the interior of the church on Saturday, with doors open to the public from 1-7 pm. Children are welcome, and Kelly will be here during the exhibition. There will be a panel discussion starting at 4:30 pm, which will feature the artist and guests from the Pauli Murray Center for History and Social Justice and the Episcopal Farmworker Ministry. The day ends with an artist’s reception at 5:30 pm, and we’re asking folks to RSVP so we can plan accordingly. This is a day to celebrate Kelly’s art and vision, to see others in a new way, and to offer something to the community. There is no charge for the exhibit, but we do encourage donations.”
If you click the link above you can see his icon of the Transfiguration and Pentecost. He said when they were designing the Transfiguration the congregation did not want Christ in all white clothing. They decided to add silver leaf to the painting. When it was hung in the sanctuary he was amazed at how the light in the sanctuary made the icon flash and dazzled his eyes, like the actual transfiguration. I want to go to Salisbury to see that painting/icon! ROAD TRIP!!!
Treasures in Plain Sight, A Christian Blog 