Category: Illness and Health

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Illness and Health, Just do it, Listen, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Thanks, Worship, Writing Life, Yield

So Very True

Here is a wonderful thought to ponder.

No amount of regret changes the past. No amount of anxiety changes the future. Any amount of gratitude changes the present.

Ann Voskamp

Many times I begin my prayer thanking the Father for another day of living and loving. Reflecting upon my recent birthday I thank the Holy One for another year of living and loving.

Best birthday card ever!
From my sister
My sister, Paula
Me

“At our age there are not lots of new friendships, but the ones we experience we hold dear.” Our neighbor, Kathy, has only been known to us a couple of years. Through her first year of struggling to get her brain around what it takes to live with a chronic illness and that illness being also a rare one, we became close. It is difficult to communicate with people who have never suffered from chronic illness. As Kathy says, “They just don’t get it.” Her diagnosis, antisynthetase syndrome, is rare and causes much misery. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antisynthetase_syndrome Fewer than 50,000 people in the US are thought to have this. Together we have re-affirmed Ann Voskamp’s wisdom that ‘any amount of gratitude changes the present.‘ This year when she returned to Florida, as snowbirds have a tendency to do, it was harder than ever to let her go. We have been married the same length of time, we are the same age, we each have a son and a daughter. Both of us have 3 grandchildren! Her wisdom and friendship bless me deeply. We share our faith freely. When I developed scalp psoriasis I told her I was getting tired of being like her! We don’t speak about dandruff, we refer to blizzards of skin cells falling from our heads after we scratch. We both need to vacuum our beds, our chairs and our cars. It is almost impossible to NOT scratch this sort of itching.

As I unwrap this gift of a new year of life I will try to remain present to all that is given. Life is truly a gift.

With another year of aging, I cling more and more to this verse in Corinthians

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

2 Corinthians 4:16 NIV

Less energy, true that. Less flexibility, true that. Undiagnosed hand and foot itching, yep. More renewal, thank the LORD for that! The Scriptures declare He will never leave me or forsake me. And it is true. There are times when I move away from God, but He is ever near and holds me in His nail-scarred hands.

“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast
    and have no compassion on the child she has borne?
Though she may forget,
    I will not forget you!
16 See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;
    your walls are ever before me.“

Isaiah 49:15-16 NIV

I truly live a varied and pleasing life, rich in adventure and blessings. There is no way I can account for it. One friend tells me I see things others do not when I take a walk. I am blessed to be married to the best man in the world. This year I have continued to work on finding some of the best recipes to cook. (I already miss fresh Ohio tomatoes!) My desk remains stacked about 6 inches deep. If I ever get ‘caught up’ I suppose it will be time to die? Let’s not even discuss how deep the sewing table is with projects.

I have out lived both of my parents. Bob calls it the ‘miracle of modern chemistry.” This year I promise to continue to write this blog as long as I am enabled to come up with new thoughts and inspirations.

May you cling to the One who has you engraved on the palms of His hands. May you rest in the knowledge that the same Holy One is able to renew you day by day. Peace and all blessings to each of you, my dear readers.

Posted on in Faith, Family, Illness and Health, Prayer

Please Pray Now

Just heard of a neighbor’s grandchild born last week. Delivery went fine. Then infant caught a virus of some kind that effected her organs. It went to her heart and other organs. She will definitely lose one leg to amputation.

She is still at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital. Her parents are staying with her 24/7.

Grandparents (our neighbors) are running the household with the other children.

They ask for our prayers.

Posted on in Aging, Faith, Illness and Health, Music, Worship, Yield

O Love

This old hymn has blessed me many times through the years. There are times when I cannot remember the name, though I never forget the sentiment in verse one! Written by George Matheson, 1882. I usually envision the underside of the waves that I saw when snorkeling. Here are the lyrics to read as men sing below.

O Love that will not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.

O Light that foll’west all my way,
I yield my flick’ring torch to thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.

O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.

O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life’s glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.
4 part harmony a cappella The Best!!

Another comfort song when wrestling with my itching flesh. I listened to it repeatedly and envisioned my self in things like, “O cross that lifts up my head.” His love is more mighty than my flesh or any suffering we might know.

Posted on in Faith, Illness and Health, medical treatment, Music, Prayer

In the Throes

In 2013 I was put on a new prescription. While adjusting to the medication I wrote, “And so misery invited agony who brought along distraction.” Part of that phrase has been running through my mind the last couple weeks. Doctors took me off antihistamines in preparation for allergy testing. Itching has practically sent me out of my cotton pickin’ mind. Itch is not really understood well by the medical community. It does seem to run akin to pain. If you have ever suffered intense, prolonged itching you can well relate to what I am writing.

I have this bizarre itching on palms of my hands and soles of my feet. No rash, no other symptoms. If I scratch long enough and hard enough I skin turns bright red and at times seems bruised, but no lasting symptoms. Seems to be much worse when I lie down to sleep. Nothing eases it, I mean no cream, no lotion, no ointment. I even went so far as to apply Lidocaine patches to my palms and sleep with gloves on to keep them in place. Okay, that did give a little relief. Then I found I could not read my tablet in bed unless I cut one fingertip off the gloves so i could turn the pages! Which I did and then shed black fibers all over the bed.

So no antihistamines allowed for 5 days. I have cried out to the LORD so many times during this. Trying to be still and rest the other night a phrase from a song rolled through my mind, “Suffering children are safe in His arms.” Amazon music had no clue. You Tube found it though! I had no heard this regularly for over 20 years when we used to worship at the Milford Vineyard! Such comfort it brought me this particular night. I listened to it over and over again.

3 minutes 44 seconds of comfort
There is none like You,
No one else can touch my heart like You do,
I can search for all eternity Lord
And find, there is none like You.

There is none like You.
No one else can touch my heart like You do,
I can search for all eternity Lord
And find, there is none like You.

Your mercy flows like a river wide,
And healing comes from Your hand.
Suffering children are safe in Your arms,
There is none like You.

There is none like You, ( There is none like You, Lord)
There is none like You.

I can search for all eternity Lord,
There is none like You.
I can search for all eternity Lord,
There is none,( there is none,)
There is none Lord,
There is none like You.

By the time you read this I will have been to the allergist for a treatment plan. I did want to share how the Lord comforted me in the night. I know He can do the same for you if you cry out and listen for the still, small voice.

Posted on in Aging, Cooking, Faith, Family, Illness and Health, Marriage and Memories, Special Event, Thanks

Miss me?

If you might be wondering where I went or why I quit posting here are a few reasons.

We traveled to Holmes County Ohio last week. Took a break for a couple of days. The last day there I had to stop taking all antihistamines as I will have allergy testing this week. The stoppage brought the symptoms of itching back like a herd of wild horses running in a stampede from a predator. I have been a basket case of misery.

We celebrated Bob’s 75th birthday with dinner out and then homemade carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. (His favorite.)

Someone gave me this recipe years ago. It is such a favorite that Bob will drive miles to share a piece with two co-workers who have now also retired. This is one carrot cake that does NOT sink to your tummy like lead.

CARROT CAKE				serves 10-12
MIX 1-1/2 T. oil	        4 large eggs
           -2 c. sugar	        2 c. grated carrot
WITH 2-1/2 c. flour	2 t. cinnamon
          1 t. soda	               ½ t. salt
         ½ t. vanilla
ADD 1 c. chopped walnuts	¾ c. currants or raisins
      1 c. crushed pineapple in its own juice

POUR into large greased pan  13 x 9, or Bundt or large bread pan
BAKE 1 hour Bundt  or  40 min. 9 x 13
ICING Blend ½ lb. 10x sugar 	4 oz. Cream cheese
    ¼ lb. Butter	1 t. vanilla

I always bake it 9 x 13. The cup of crushed pineapple in its own juice can sometimes be found in a can in just the right measurement.

I see the allergist tomorrow. They just told me to go ahead and take the antihistamines. Doctor will decide a treatment plan and when/how to test me. Geesh. Lots of misery for nothin’.

Yet, He is always with me.

Posted on in Collection of Quotes, Faith, Illness and Health, Journal, medical treatment, Music, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Worship, Writing Life

Grace in Our Helplessness

Haven Ministries publishes a monthly booklet of devotions entitled “Anchor Devotional.” The month of September, 2023 featured the writings of John Newton, compiled by writer Miller Ferrie, “to celebrate the 250th anniversary of when the hymn “Amazing Grace” was first sung.”

The entry for September 16 reads:

The grace of Jesus Christ humbles us. Hymn-writer John Newton knew this well and wrote the following:

Self-righteousness has had a considerable hand in dictating many of my desires for an increase of comfort and spiritual strength. I have wanted some stock of my own, I have been wearied of being so perpetually beholden to {God}, needing to come to Him always … as a poor miserable sinner, I should have liked to have done something for myself in ordinary circumstances, and to have depended upon Him chiefly on extraordinary occasion.

I have found indeed, that I could do nothing without His assistance, nor anything even with it. I am now learning to glory only in my infirmities, … to be content to be nothing that He may be All in All. But I find this a hard lesson, …Humbled I ought to be, to find I am totally depraved – but not discouraged, since Jesus is appointed to me by God to be wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption; and since I find that … He keeps alive the principle of grace which He has implanted in my heart.

John Newton

What a challenge I have had. In so many ways I feel like Newton. August I was exhausted by life and likely too many activities. September I had a decayed tooth cut out by oral surgeon, with anesthesia, antibiotic, gauze, ice packs and pain pills afterwards. My face was bruised and I was in a lot of pain. I kept hearing the Cory Asbury song lyric “You take good care of me.” And it is true.

A few days later I slammed the car door on two fingers of my left hand. So grateful they were not broken. As the saying goes, I “Could not win for losing!” Scalp psoriasis exploded and I began itching, not just on the scalp. Within a few days I was itching all over and hives developed on one side of my neck. Read about something called opioid itch. Wondered if it was the pain pills? Heard the song below. I love Einaudi’s compositions.

Entitled Monday. Sounds to me like the LORD giving living water into my writing.

Out of my mind with itching I began Benadryl on my own along with my usual dose of Allegra. Kept hearing Brandon Lake lyric, “Praise, give Him praise, give Him praise in the highest; I’ll praise You anywhere.” Rough going, and truly a sacrifice of praise.(Hebrews 13:15) For several days a line I wrote in April, 2013 had been on my mind, “And so misery invited agony who brought along distraction and insomnia.” With all those medications I did not have insomnia though I did wake myself several times while scratching in my sleep. Eventually insatiable itching centered on palms of hands and soles of feet with NO rash, NO blisters, NO nothing, just usual skin. Wondered if I would actually scratch my skin open? Even at times itching the skin web between pointer and middle finger. What is this??

I saw the internist. He put me on steroid tablets with Allegra and Benadryl to continue. My appointment with Dermatologist October 5 was much awaited. I just wanted some answers to why is this happening? Assuming we can get it under control, how can I avoid this in the future? Itching stopped for two days and then returned.

October 5 I wrote:

Here am I naked before You
Clearly bothered by itching and pain
Ankles, shoulders and head all ache
Steroids have surely about gone
Driven to distraction I try to contain my hands
nerve endings igniting continuously
I bring my broken self to You
Naked before Your eyes You see
within, about, and through me
Lord be my comfort I pray
Show me how to cope with this
Lead me in paths where I can write
bring You glory and honor and praise
Here am I naked before You.

Dermatologist too was stumped, concerned but uncertain what caused all of this. Did full body check up while asking questions and pondering my dilemma. She took a biopsy of my right upper arm which mimicked something on my chest.

She put me on Zyrtec in evening and Allegra in morning. New Clobetasol shampoo. Wondered if there might be liver or kidney problems. Even mentioned possibility of lymphoma. Ordered a slew of tests (at least eleven) from both blood and urine.

Eventually itching has tapered off. Certainly not gone, but live-able. The test results have been rolling in through My Chart. They are all normal. Occasional palm itch. Maybe once a day bout of sole itch.

I cannot say with Newton and Paul ‘I glory in my infirmities’. Guess that sounds like a hypochondriac to my ears. (Guess I need to study the commentators to gain a better understanding of the concept.) This is a very long post, but was uncertain how to shorten it. I have been enabled to write and post the blog. I went on a weekend retreat at the Convent where I have been an associate for many years. Life continues, but my body, which loves to play ‘Stump the Doctor” continues to baffle me and the professionals. John Newton was right, the grace of Christ does humble me. John 5:30a is such a powerful truth. “I can do nothing on my own.” By His grace I live and write.

During the retreat I was blessed with this portion of Celtic Compline

Calm me, O Lord, as You stilled the storm

Still me O Lord, keep me from harm

Let all the tumult within me cease

Enfold me, Lord, in Your peace.

The Felgild Compline

To read the entire Compline go to https://www.northumbriacommunity.org/offices/wednesday-the-felgild-compline/

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Family, Humor, Illness and Health, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Thanks

A Most Enjoyable Day

We stopped at Marcella’s donuts at 7:05 AM on the way to Mason, Ohio to watch our Grandson play soccer. This is his first year to play a neighborhood sport. So far it has been a rather dismal event to watch. When we went to pick him up our son was still at home. We don’t usually get up so early for soccer (35 minutes from our house), but our son had an out-of-town event and asked us if we were willing to attend an early game this once.

Much to our surprise they not only won, but our grandson actually kicked the ball 3 times! There was so much dew on the early morning field that most parents agreed when I said, “They did not tell us to wear our boots!” When the ball was kicked at certain angles you could see a stream of water flowing over and around it. We were delighted to witness the team’s first win and Rowan’s increased participation. In fact, he was on the field the entire game!

# 9 our Grandson
Such a wet morning!

Then we drove back to Batavia, Ohio where our youngest Grandgirl had a volley ball game with University of Cincinnati Clermont. Recently she was diagnosed with stress fractures in both calves and has been on crutches. She will miss playing the rest of the year. 😦 She is, however, required to attend all practices and games. When we arrived she was seated at the scoring table.

Our Ellie is #20 at the net, almost in center

Our daughter and son-in-law were also there. We knew our daughter had a funeral to attend. Much to our delight when it was time for her depart our eldest Grandgirl came to get her.

Wait a minute, except for Jeff’s wife, we were able to greet and hug the entire family as an unplanned event in a single day!!

Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, savor you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow.

MARY JEAN IRION

This is a wonderful day. I’ve never seen this one before.

Maya Angelou
Posted on in Aging, Humor, Illness and Health, medical treatment, Prayer

Auto Immune Disease

My friend and I both have this auto immune condition called scalp plaque psoriasis. It is a scaly itchy condition with lumps on the scalp. I swear I feel like a @#*(&#@% monkey. I scratch unconsciously because it itches almost every waking hour. I have even woken myself up scratching in the night. The warning is not to scratch as that can make for hair loss. When one itches like this the warnings mean nothing.

Not only do we itch but we also shed these overgrown skin cells. Don’t think dandruff, think heavy snow storm. Nope there is no cure. There are some prescription remedies that try to tame the symptoms. No cure. Oh, I remember! They are PRACTICING medicine on us. We are the practice subjects, along with 7.5 million other Americans. yikes.

Snow Squall

I read my iPad mini in bed. Sometimes I am too tired to put it away in the drawer and simply slide it under my pillow. When I got up this morning I heard a slide then bump. I looked in the drawer. Nothing in there. I moved my pillow aside to make certain I had not missed it. Then I saw the blizzard of skin cells on the dark blue sheet. Yuck. Sure enough, the iPad had been under my pillow and slipped off the end of the bed. I got down on the floor (a feat in itself!) but I could not see it. The dog wondered if I was doing morning stretches like she does. I call her Slinky Dog. I got out the bedside mini flashlight. There it was. Had to find the extension picker-upper thingy. Got on the floor again and retrieved the iPad. Finally, I went to the front closet to get the sweeper.

I have heard it said we should vacuum our beds several times a year because each of us shed skin cells, but this was ridiculous. I suppose there is a snow storm headed to my bed every single night as this condition continues. She recently commented how badly she needed to vacuum her black car seat.

I brush my hair and there are snow squalls. At times, white out conditions!

I am not entirely hopeful the dermatologist can bring this under control. And now, sadly, I have it on my ear, too. Never. Ever. Ask what else can go wrong.

LORD, I need patience and now would be a really good time to send that! Amen.

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Illness and Health, Just do it

Gratefully Breathing

Have you ever tried to slow and deepen your breathing? If so, you may resonate with this quote.

That moment of inward breath, that pause and awareness of “how beautiful this is” is a prayer of appreciation, a moment of gratitude in which I behold beauty and am one with it.

Jean Shinoda Bolen

I have a friend who is participating in a church plant. They are going to have something like a seven minute silence following the sermon. I think that is terrific! Seven minutes to sit together, breath together, rest in the worship and prayers and sermon you just heard. Almost sounds like the Quakers.

It has been said that as Americans in 2023 we do not know how to breathe properly. That’s right a simple, deep inhale followed by a simple deep exhale. And then again. And once more. We want our autonomic nervous system to do it all. In case you have forgotten that science lesson, here is a very short refresher.

You don’t have to think about breathing because your body’s autonomic nervous system controls it, as it does many other functions in your body. If you try to hold your breath, your body will override your action and force you to let out that breath and start breathing again. 

https://health.howstuffworks.com/human-body/systems/respiratory/lung3.htm

BUT there are health benefits to learning how to breathe, how to rest, how to stop and feel what is happening within ourselves.

The lungs are like sponges; they cannot get bigger on their own. Muscles in your chest and abdomen tighten or contract to create a slight vacuum around the lungs. This causes air to flow in. When you exhale, the muscles relax and the lungs deflate on their own, much like an elastic balloon will deflate if left open to the air. 

https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/lungs/body-controls-breathing

“A prayer of appreciation” the first quote says. Do we appreciate our breathing? Are we willing to make the most of it? My sister recently suggested this book to my husband. As you may recall his lungs are compromised. I have read parts of the book and intend to finish it. Book description below is from Amazon.

No matter what you eat, how much you exercise, how skinny or young or wise you are, none of it matters if you’re not breathing properly.

There is nothing more essential to our health and well-being than breathing: take air in, let it out, repeat twenty-five thousand times a day. Yet, as a species, humans have lost the ability to breathe correctly, with grave consequences.

Journalist James Nestor travels the world to figure out what went wrong and how to fix it. The answers aren’t found in pulmonology labs, as we might expect, but in the muddy digs of ancient burial sites, secret Soviet facilities, New Jersey choir schools, and the smoggy streets of São Paulo. Nestor tracks down men and women exploring the hidden science behind ancient breathing practices like Pranayama, Sudarshan Kriya, and Tummo and teams up with pulmonary tinkerers to scientifically test long-held beliefs about how we breathe.

Modern research is showing us that making even slight adjustments to the way we inhale and exhale can jump-start athletic performance; rejuvenate internal organs; halt snoring, asthma, and autoimmune disease; and even straighten scoliotic spines. None of this should be possible, and yet it is.

Drawing on thousands of years of medical texts and recent cutting-edge studies in pulmonology, psychology, biochemistry, and human physiology, Breath turns the conventional wisdom of what we thought we knew about our most basic biological function on its head. You will never breathe the same again.

Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art, James Nestor

I do not think we can master her prayer of appreciation until we become conscious of our breath. Are you willing to learn something new that simply might change your life for the better? Video below is about 11 minutes. Maybe not smoke and mirrors!

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Illness and Health, Just do it, Memories, Music, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Worship, Yield

Complain or Praise

So difficult to remember to praise when your physical being hijacks the intentions of your heart! I want to praise and today it is difficult. Then I remembered I could put on this song while I did at home PT. And in a few minutes I remembered I<Him. He >me.

As he was now drawing near, at the descent of the Mount of Olives, the whole multitude of the disciples began to rejoice and praise God with a loud voice for all the mighty works that they had seen, 38 saying, “Blessed is the King who comes in the name of the Lord! Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!” 39 And some of the Pharisees in the multitude said to him, “Teacher, rebuke your disciples.” 40 He answered, “I tell you, if these were silent, the very stones would cry out.”

Luke 19: 37-40

We usually think garments on the road. Jesus on a donkey. The crowd cheering. I first heard this song years ago. It is a commentary on Luke 19. Listen to this song and imagine yourself in the crowd singing this one!

The lyrics below go with the YouTube recording.

Now Jesus was going up
On his way to Jerusalem
To be lifted up on a tree
That he might draw all men to Him
The multitudes began to praise Him
While other were trying to stop them
And Jesus said, "If these hold their peace
The stones will surely cry out"

And here is one less stone
One more voice
To praise the mighty name
The name of our Lord
Here is one less stone
One more to praise Him
Blessed is the King who comes
In the name of our Lord

Now David was a man of praises
Praising God in the sanctuary
He praised Him on the trumpet and the harp
And he praised Him in the dance
I don't wanna offend nobody
But I'm gonna worship Jesus
'Cause He said if I hold my peace
The stones will surely cry out
See all the stones in the distance? How many Christians do you know who are praising right now?

I want to be the ONE LESS STONE and one more voice to praise the LORD!