Page Turner

For quite a while I have enjoyed Elevation Worship. I taped a program on TV called Elevation Church. Thought I might have time to learn about the preaching there. To continue my story about a rough week:

Bob went to shower and I looked at what TV shows I had recorded. There was a church service from Elevation church. I love Elevation music and decided to see what this was about. The LORD met me there. Sermon was about the Holy Spirit as our Ghost Writer. The events of our life might hit us as the end, but God encourages us to be a page turner.

I heard Pastor Furtick say “We are only at this point, there is more God is writing in our story.” I asked my sorry self to sit up and pay attention. Okay, more pain was a disappointment: not what I wanted, yet a reality. Disappointment in realizing I have OTHER THAN what I hoped for. Same old, same old; same shit, different day. My problem was I had put my hope in other than God’s will. No, His will is not more suffering. His will is always acceptance and seeking His way through life rather than digging in my heels and stubbornly insisting on my way be done. The injection did not fix the problem of pain. I did not need to let it drive me from the One who loves me best!

I have listened to this Elevation church sermon more than once. Letting the reality of God-at -work sink into my heart and soul. HE wants me to be a page turner in my own story. Embracing the story as it unfolds. Not stopping at the obstacles that occur in my life. His ways truly are higher than my ways. He has my best interests in mind – all the time.

I confessed the ignorance and futility of hoping for other than His ways and His will for me. Just like when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, He has not promised to remove this pain from me, but a better promise than that has been given to me. He has promised to BE WITH ME IN IT.

This pain provides a limitation on me with the aging of turning 74 this year. As we approach and pass the celebration of our 54th wedding anniversary we both recognize that indeed we are aging and slowing down in so many ways. Though our outer person is wasting away our inner person is newer through the Holy Spirit day by day.

16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.2 Cor 4:15-17

He says, “My mind says it is over, but I have a ghost writer! The helper called the Holy Ghost is the ghost writer!” As a wordsmith you can imagine the impact that statement made upon me!

Below is a YouTube recording of the entire sermon. If you have never heard Steven Furtick preach you might be interested. He is a cross of old-time black preacher and contemporary charismatic preaching. The organ that emphasizes his sermon reminds me of going to church years and years ago with Lucretia and the woman from Having the Courage to Change .

He encourages us all to be a page turner. He says lick your finger and be willing to turn to the next page. If you scroll to about minute 37 or so, you will get the Lord’s point to me.

Perhaps the pain in my life is a necessary mess? I am driven back to the arms of God when I am bombarded with pain, knowing for a fact I cannot cope on my own, in my own strength. Yet the Trinity comes and lifts me up, gives me thoughts and ideas on how to keep going even in the face of debilitating chronic pain. Osteoarthritis and diabetes are both chronic and progressive. There is no cure for either one. But Christ has promised He will never leave me or forsake me. I might turn from Him when I am disappointed or frustrated, but I am never alone.

At the end of the sermon they played this worship song. Again, found me right where I am living.

Christy Nockles reminds us in her lyrics for Be Loved that I may try to run away, but He’ll come running after me. Relinquishing to His love and resting in His arms is the best path to healing for me. Hope resides in me realizing that this is just ‘an episode, not the entire movie’ of my life – just a season with another season to follow.

I have been hit again this week with the reminder that I enjoy spring much more than autumn when nature is wilting and ready to die back to the ground. In spring it is exciting to discovery what will open to life next. The withering of autumn is so much less enjoyable. “Yet, inwardly I am renewed day by day.” Remember that part, Molly Lin. Refreshed, renewed, made new creation.

Come then Holy Spirit and continue to write this story called me. I am Yours. I am held.

A Struggle This Month – Installment 1

This is not an easy entry to compose, but I sense a call to be transparent. Perhaps someone else might be encouraged if they too are struggling?

If you follow this blog you might remember I have had a peculiar pain in my left hip for the past year. The internist ordered an X-ray and they results were simply arthritis. This is a new to me arthritic pain. I am already on ,medications to alleviate the chronic pain that I suffer. The meds were not touching this one. Sometimes I would walk the dog, get halfway down the street and fear I might not make it home unless I called Bob to come get me. Have not had to do that yet, but it was THAT much pain.

When I saw the pain specialist he suggested an epidural much like I have had in the past for pain on my right side. It did not alleviate the pain. Then there was the procedure I call the nerve cooker. First Medicare insisted on 2 trial injections of Novocaine to ascertain if position was correct and if the procedure worked. The relief lasted 45 minutes to 2-1/2 hours. It was determined that the nerve cooker would work. I had the Medial Branch radio frequency nerve ablation and I looked forward to months of relief. It came with terrible leg cramps that woke me in the night. Thank goodness I have not had a repeat of the worst one that left me gasping, in pain from hip to hell, but I continue to experience lesser cramps.

The morning of my return appointment I did a centering meditation with Andrew Johnson on Insight Timer. I had moved into a place during meditation of seeing Jesus holding me while I floated in water. He literally upheld me. I remembered snippets of a song by Christy Nockles.

I saw the doctor later that day. It is final. The procedure did not work. The medical option did not prove to be helpful. In fact, it caused those unrelenting leg cramps. That left me at the bottom of the pit emotionally. The pain specialist said there was one more nerve block he could try. I asked didn’t we already do that? He said this was a different one. Or he could refer me to a back surgeon. He said even then he was not certain my ruptured discs were bad enough to warrant surgery. I recoiled. No one WANTS back surgery. But he gave me the name of a surgeon at Anderson Mercy.

I had asked myself, “What would my grandparents have done?” The answer was live with it. So I am trying to embrace my own prayer more fully. The prayer that goes,

I have determined that this day, 
each time I am drawn up short by pain, 
I will praise You 
for I love You better than life - 
even better than quality of life.

On way home from surgeon I just wanted to weep at the prospect of more pain. I wanted a double dip peanut butter chocolate chip sundae with hot fudge and peanut butter topping for lunch. Being a conscientious diabetic I could not bring myself to stop at the UDF I passed on the way home. I just keep driving. Then I thought about having a vodka gimlet or two. Nope, did not do that either. My eyes kept overflowing with disappointment.

After trying to rest during the afternoon (and failing to sleep) I found the Christy Nockles song that I could not place that morning. I put it on replay, continuously for a couple hours, asking the truth to reside in my soul.

I still want to cry hearing the wondrous lyrics that hold His truth. “So just be held, be held, He holds you.” I know that none of this was a surprise to the Savior. He was not startled or taken aback that the procedure did not work. He knows and understands the pain I experience.

Dinner came and went. I was not much improved; however, I had the hope of that song to cling to. This is installment one of how I am coping. Tomorrow I will share how a TV sermon touched my heart.

Are You A Disciple of Jesus?

Yes! I have been impacted by these quotes and books. I pray the quotes bring you encouragement as well as food for thought.

The basic idea of being a disciple, in the New Testament, is being with Jesus, learning to be like Him. The disciple {since the resurrection} is someone who is with Jesus, still, learning to be like Him. That’s a status. Disciple is a status; spiritual formation is a process. Renovated by Jim Wilder

Spiritual formation, in the Christian sense, is the process of transformation that occurs to the disciple. Such transformation involves emotional and spiritual maturity. And if we are not disciples, we won’t move forward in that process. You cannot experience spiritual transformation – transformation onto the likeness of Christ – without being a disciple of Christ. Renovated by Jim Wilder

So now you see the seriousness of accepting a form of Christianity that does not involve being a disciple. If a disciple is defined as one who is “learning from Jesus how to lead my life as He would lead my life if He were I,” we have to ask ourselves Is that me? Then we have to answer honestly in terms of what is happening in our life. And then we have to ask Have I chosen that? And if I have chosen it, what am I doing to carry through with it?

All of those questions made me sit back and question my life, my church life, my path forward with the Lord. Won’t you take a moment to examen yourself in light of what Jim Wilder and Dallas Willard teach? I think these questions are of utmost importance for us as we attempt to follow Jesus through this life.

One question they pose reminds me of Ignatian spirituality. “If a disciple is learning from Jesus how to live, what am I learning from Him now? What have I learned from Him in the past? How does that whole progression look? As a disciple, my consciously chosen aim is to learn the life of Jesus, and I am constantly arranging and rearranging my affairs to realize this goal.”

I am an Associate at the Convent of the Transfiguration. The teachings about transformation remind me that Jesus calls me to also be transfigured – my old self for the New Creation He wants to create in me.

These two authors Jim Wilder and Tyler Staton are impacting my thoughts, words and deeds with Gospel truths. May they bring you closer to discipleship, too.

Two Books

I have been reading Jim Wilder’s book “Renovated: God, Dallas Willard and the Church That Transforms” and Tyler Staton’s book, “Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools.” Both have me taking notes and being challenged in my walk.

Jim Wilder studied under Dallas Willard. Most of the things I have noted from the book are Dallas’s words. It is such a meaty book that I read it in small portions at a time. I am about 45% finished with it. If I am quoting Jim instead of Dallas please forgive me.

Here are some quotes that have had me thinking.

“Christian formation is the process of taking on the character of Christ. That means the person begins to think with – to have beliefs and images and ways of interpreting things that are characteristic of – Christ. This process begins at what we call “the birth from above” – the impartation or implantation of a new life in the person. The record of history and Scripture testify that salvation is best thought of as having a new kind of life.” from Renovated

There is debate within the church as to when exactly this process occurs. Tyler Staton notes that at some point we will notice the change within ourselves. More importantly for me recently, I must ask myself if I am truly interpreting things I ponder within me through the new life Christ has given to me.

Often I fail at this and need to confess and begin again. (Love that booklet from the Benedictines that is entitled, “Always we Begin Again.“)

The activity of the new kind of life that we mean by “birth from above” is reliance upon Christ and God for everything – the restoration of the relationship to God intended for us in the first place and that alone enables us to fulfill our nature. To “seek first the Kingdom of God and His kind of righteousness” is the natural response to the new life that has come to you. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 12:3, “If you believe that Jesus is Lord, that is because of the Spirit that has moved in you.” You actually believe that. from Renovated

Taking on the character of Christ. I love the recent lyric from Abandoned by Benjamin William Hastings that says, “My one life’s endeavor, to match Your surrender, to mirror not my will but Yours.” Father, help me to yield to this goal!

Does your home church foster this sort of growth? ‘Restoration of the relationship to God intended for us in the first place’?

Pursuing this type of life, “the restoration of the relationship to God intended for us in the first place” requires my constant awareness of my motives and purposes. Tyler notes that sin is agreed upon as a major problem in the world by every ‘historical era, cultures and philosophies.’

Believing in the existence of God has never really been the hang-up for us humans. Across cultures and eras, the existence of something bigger than us has always been the popular opinion. Even today, in a post-Enlightenment, highly skeptical society bent on deconstruction, the majority of people believe in some kind of deity who is running the show. from Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools

The hang-up is, and has always been, trusting the God we believe exists. …Adam and Eve trusted themselves, not the God they believed in. And that is what the Bible calls sin – good desire channeled through the wrong means. Sin is shorthand for any attempt to meet our deep needs by our own resources. from Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools

If I am to truly live from the new life that has been given to me, I must lay aside my mistaken attempts to meet my own needs and trust that God will take care of me. In every way. In every single day.

As you read this Bob and I are traveling to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. This looks like a daunting trip to us! We planned it without realizing at first that we will be in a different motel every single night. There is one place where we stay 2 nights, but overall it means moving suitcases, etc. back and forth to the car daily for a full week. We have not done this since we began aging so dramatically! Oh my! What have we gotten ourselves into? And it is all our own doing. We are so accustomed to going on vacation, unpacking the first day and making small car trips from that location. I will spend a few hours trying to figure out how to pack differently for myself so there is not all this perpetual suitcase hauling. (I just realized I like the instrumental music playing as I write. The song is entitled Fossils. How appropriate! LOL)

So Father God, I turn over our travel needs to You. Show us how to see all these Michigan sights without completely wearing ourselves out. If there is any way possible help us to witness the northern lights with our own eyes at Copper Harbor! Show us how to find an agate on the beach. Help us to live the imparted new life Christ has given us as we meet new people, with different accents, different lifestyles and foods. Most of all, help us to not only glorify Your name but to look to You in all things. We seek Your Kingdom and Your righteousness in Ohio and in Michigan.

In This Politically Charged Atmosphere

Bombarded day and night with political ads and accusations, I must remember these lyrics of truth by Chris Tomlin. There is so much division in America can the Christians at least agree on this?

This is part of the songs lyrics.

Jesus 
Your name is the highest 
Your name is the greatest 
Your name stands above them all (oh, stands above) 
All thrones and dominions 
All powers and positions 
Your name stands above them all

And the angels cry holy 
All creation cries holy 
You are lifted high, holy 
Holy forever (we cry holy, holy, holy)

Remember: the King of kings will reign in the end!

The Trinity is above all thrones and dominions, all powers and positions. Amen.

Says it Best for Sunday!

1Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 1 Corinthians 6: 19-20 NIV

Here I am
I am Your temple
Come and fill me with Your glory, oh my Lord

Purify
All that′s not holy
'Til I reflect all Your beauty, oh my Lord

My soul longs for You
Longs for You
Burns for Your glory, oh my Lord
My soul longs for You
Longs for You
Burns for Your glory, oh my Lord

Here I am
I am Your temple
Come and fill me with Your glory, oh my Lord

Purify
All that′s not holy
'Til I reflect all Your beauty, oh my Lord

My soul longs for You
Longs for You
Burns for Your glory, oh my Lord

My soul longs for You
Longs for You
Burns for Your glory, oh my Lord
(Oh, all you are)
(Yes, is all I want)

There's only one thing I ask
Only one thing I′m after
That I would dwell in Your house
And see Your beauty forever
There′s only one thing I ask
There's only one thing I′m after
That I would dwell in Your house
And see Your beauty forever

(You're all I want)
Oh my soul longs for You
Longs for You
Yes, it burns for Your glory, oh my Lord
My soul longs for You
It cries out for You
Yes, it burns for Your glory, oh my Lord
(Purify the fire!)
(God, purify the fire!)
My soul longs for You
Yes, it longs for You
Yeah, it burns for Your glory, oh my Lord
My soul longs for You
Longs for You
Burns for Your glory, oh my Lord

Our souls long for You
They long for You
They burn for Your glory, oh my Lord
Writer(s): Jeremy Riddle

Lord, we are waiting here for You!

Improving My Diabetes

Evidently my glucose has been falling to dangerous levels at night. I only learned this with the use of this continuous glucose monitor. The doctor is concerned about correcting this.

I have taken to eating a strange bedtime dish. Taking an under-ripe banana (lower in sugar) I slice it into a bowl. Using Peanut butter powder (which is lower in fat and carbs than plain peanut butter) I reconstitute the powder with water and coat the bananas. Then I take a small portion of Breyers Carb Smart frozen dessert and put that on top. I keep thinking I am going to get tired of this routine. then I just remind myself it is part of my medication. If my evening glucose is in the low normal range when I eat this it stays low normal through the night. Amazing. The peanut butter chocolate is my favorite flavor, but the store does not always have it in stock. I have used plain chocolate, vanilla and recently bought the neapolitan though I have not tried it yet. I actually began this while on retreat this summer. I knew there was refrigerator/freezer at the facility that we could use for foods. I found the Breyers at Kroger and thought I would give it a try. No, it is not as good as United Dairy Farmers ice cream, but health-wise I can no longer afford UDF ice cream with regularity.

I have found Sam’s club to be my best source for under ripe bananas (and only $1.47 per bunch). I can also find them at Aldi’s but not all of the time. In the past I NEVER would have chosen to eat an under ripe banana. In fact, I liked them ripe and sweet!

Yep, I have brought my A1C value down and still working to get it lower. If you have diabetes, or know someone who is tackling it, you might want to share this idea with them. Here is a quote from https://greatist.com/health/banana-stages-benefits#benefits

Surprisingly, underripe bananas foster (*wink*) a host of positive effects in the body. These banana babies happen to be extremely high in fiber — even higher than ripe bananas. This is because they contain an abundance of a substance called resistant starch.

Resistant starch results in the usual benefits you might expect from fiber. It can help improve diarrhea and constipation, it promotes a healthy gut microbiome, and it may help with weight loss.

2018 study found that when men who were overweight or had obesity ate more resistant starch at breakfast or lunch, they ate fewer calories at dinner.

Beyond these pluses, unripe bananas’ resistant starch could also be a boon for folks with blood sugar issues.

“Resistant starch is known for blood sugar control since it is not digested in the small intestine, but rather fermented in the large intestine,” says Amanda Lane, MS, RD, CDCES.

What is Most Important?

Yesterday. September 1, daughter’s family was robbed while they were in a Safeway grocery store in Oakland, California. They had not yet checked into their Air B & B and all their backpacks (packed with electronics and medications from air travel) were still in the van. Some how Safeway does not sound like a safe way to shop! The parking lot is on top of the grocery as land in that area is at a premium. I have been there often with Bob.


Thieves broke the back window and swiped all but 1 backpack. Go figure! Four laptop computers, oh my! And one grandgirl became hysterical over all of it. They thankfully left the suitcases with their clothing.

This morning I am rejoicing that no one was injured or confronted. My son-in-law and one Grandgirl ran down the street following the pings the computers put out for location. They found nothing. The ‘security guard’ in the parking lot was useless. He evidently was to one side talking with friends when it happened.

Yes, Police were called and proper reports filed. My daughter waited 4 hours for a tow truck and replacement van. Never showed up. Finally drove to nearest location of the car rental place to get a replacement.

She is working with pharmacies in Ohio to get refills on medications. Of course, on a holiday weekend that is very difficult. If no refills remain it could be hard to reach a prescribing doctor!

They will likely never face the thieves in a courtroom. They do however now come face to face with the quote, “People are more important than things.

And the power of prayer. I sent out numerous prayer requests as soon as Bob notified me of the robbery. It was extremely difficult to get the one Grandgirl to calm down. Eventually she did. Two family members thanked me via text for praying. I hope they each realize the power of God to comfort us. I cannot imagine how those male family members would have reacted had they seen the robbery in progress? Just the fact that 2 of the family relied on Apple to help them follow pings makes my heart skip a beat.

Puts me in mind of a plaque in our home.

I also have a calligraphy that I read often to help me regain my center in times like this.

Prayer by Tod Loder, art by Holy Monroe

Lord keep my family in all of their ways, I pray. Help them to know Your closeness in times of feeling violated. If possible, show them how to recover the stolen items. Regardless, open their eyes and hearts to know Your presence and protection in all situations. I pray You will keep them in the remainder of their vacation time.

Wesleyan Covenant Prayer

There are many people who shun written prayers and just as many others who rely upon them. I actually do both. Do not even know now where I recently came across this prayer. John Wesley interests me because before I was born my Grandfather Snapp was a Methodist minister. He died before I arrived. It is said that those who knew Allen Ross Snapp (1876 to 1946) loved him. I have also heard he preached hell fire and brimstone. Wish I could find a record of one of his sermons. I would love to have known him.

My mother, Her father, Allen Ross, back row 2 of her 5 brothers, Frank Snapp and Howard Snapp

When I was looking for a church to get baptized in at age 15 I visited quite a few. The Methodist one I visited did not do a lot for my young questing heart. Later, we did join Clough United Methodist where our young baby son was dedicated to the Lord.

This prayer, often used in January services among the Methodists, spoke to my heart. Surely Grandpa Snapp used it in his services, too! I am certain you will hear refrains of Paul’s letters in it. I sincerely hope you can read, pray and recite it with a genuine heart of dedication to Christ.

I am no longer my own by Yours.
Put me to what You will,
rank me with whom You will.
Put me to doing,
put me to suffering.
Let me be employed for You or laid aside for You,
exalted for You or brought low for You.
Let me be full, let me be empty. Let me have all things, let me have nothing.
I freely and wholeheartedly yield all things
to Your pleasure and disposal.
And now, glorious and blessed God,
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit,
You are mine and I am Yours.
So be it.
And the covenant now made on earth,
let it be ratified in heaven. Amen.

And set to music

I pray you can give yourself to the Lord, if not today, then very soon. One church challenged their members to read this daily for 100 days. You might want to try that!

Agree 2016

It has been difficult to focus on writing this week so here I bring you something from the past. I hope it gives you an idea on how to defeat the accuser of your soul during your own times of trial.

Have you been tormented by the thought you are not qualified to do something in life? I have. I was even tormented after the birth of my first child by the enemy asking, “How can you be a mother without a mother?” You see, my mother died in her sleep in our apartment on my due date and I found her. It was a horrible ordeal.

The following story was less of an ordeal emotionally, yet still a difficult challenge in my walk. I hope this can bring you some encouragement!

Agree with Your Adversary Quickly © Molly Lin Dutina 9/3/2016

I have had an interest in the Bible ever since I was a pre-teen. While other kids my age were out doing group things, I was often in my room reading the Word and studying daily references through the publication “Forward Day by Day.” Much later I learned these were the “Daily Office” or assigned Scriptures for the day. As an adult I was interested in study groups and furthering my understanding of Scripture. Through Women’s Aglow, an international women’s group, I understood the Lord’s call for me to be an intercessor and teach His word.

As I prepared to teach Bible study lessons using various Women’s Aglow publications I often had the thought that I was in no way qualified to teach. Yes, I completed one year of college and had a good command of the English language, some writing skills and made use of several different kinds of Scripture reference books. However, I had no formal Bible training or chaplain schooling. As these thoughts became more troublesome I began to hear, “How can you assume to teach this? You are not qualified in any way, shape or form!”  I knew I needed help to learn how to answer such an attack from the enemy of my soul.  

I found some methods from the words of Jesus to help with the taunts. In John 5:19, 30 Jesus says “The Son can do nothing of His own accord, but only what He sees the Father doing. By myself I can do nothing.” Most Americans have been taught so strongly to be self-sufficient that we hardly ever entertain this idea of dependency. Yet the Lord insists He is dependent upon the Father for all things He does. Can we say the same? Unlikely we would do this on our own unless backed into a corner!

In order for my attempt to push back the accusations to work, I had to commit to teaching as my Lord Jesus and the Father of Lights showed me. Invariable, during the preparation of each lesson there would come a point where the Lord would ask me, “Molly, how are you doing with this concept in your own life?” And I would stop for some honest self-examination before I could presume to bring the lesson to others. Often, my best teaching examples came from my own time of examination, confession and determination to renew my life in accord with my Lord.

In Matthew 5:25 Jesus taught “Come to terms quickly with your adversary.” The King James Version says “Agree with thine adversary quickly.” I began to do just that. “You are right. I cannot be a Bible teacher in my own strength, but I have committed my teaching to the Lord Jesus Christ. The Holy Spirit will guide and direct me. So if you do not like how I am teaching, take it up with Jesus! He is in charge here.” Then I would go on, confident that the Christ was my rear guard. (ISA 52:12)

Is there an area in your walk where you are not strong or courageous. A place where you feel alone? In Joshua 1: 5-6 God says to Joshua “ No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.  Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them. “   James 4:6 But He gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” In what area of your life are you barraged with discouragement? Will you ask for God’s help?

He is no respecter of persons. If we humble ourselves He will give us help.  Can you agree with your Adversary quickly and then commit to follow whatever the Lord requires of you?

Through the power of the Holy Spirit, the Word of God and my willingness to yield to whatever He showed me, I was able to teach and given strength and wisdom beyond my own self.

We will with God’s help.