Associates Retreat October, 2024

As you read this I will be attending the Transfiguration Associates autumn retreat. (These mental health crises so often seem to coincide with the retreats.) I am usually so desperate for rest by the time I arrive that sleep is the first thing on the agenda for me! So I try to go a few hours before the retreat begins hoping for a nap and some restoration.

This year I am hoping the retreat leader has time to talk with me. He is the director of Forward Movement. In 1964 I began reading Forward Day by Day. “Forward Day by Day is a booklet of daily inspirational meditations reflecting on a specific Bible passage, chosen from the daily lectionary readings as listed in the Revised Common Lectionary or the Daily Office from the Episcopal Church’s Book of Common Prayer.” Eventually instead of just the tiny blurb printed from an author I used the Lectionary references to read from the Psalms, Old Testament, New Testament and Gospel readings. I was delighted by this booklet that took my faith leaps and bounds from where I began searching for God.

Now I use the app they have made to listen to Morning Prayer with those daily readings. I recently picked up a print copy of Day by Day at church. I had stopped my subscription to the print version a long time ago. I have greatly enjoyed this month’s author. Imagine how blessed I was to read this entry dated Tuesday, October 8 after the hurts from the mental illness person.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” How many of you were taught that growing up? For me, it’s one of the biggest lies from childhood. I may have forgotten the physical cuts, bruises and scars I received growing up, but the words still linger decades after childhood.

Words have far more power than we give them credit. Words have the power to give life. Words have the power to ruin lives as well. Twice in this chapter, Jesus uses words to heal. (Luke 7)

In the beginning God spoke the universe into existence. Words have power.

And as Uncle Ben of Spider-Man fame said, “With great power comes great responsibility.” We should all be aware of the power of our words. Joseph Woo, Vicar of Mosaic Episcopal Church, Diocese of Texas

So as I hear the retreat leader (Rev. Scott Gunn) and pray to meet with him personally, I ask for your prayers, too. I am hoping to speak with him about where to go with the blog writings and the poetry. My priest has encouraged me to approach him and I am eager to do just that. Forward Movement has many forms of publications. Perhaps there is one that will work to get these musings out to the wider public?

Enjoy your weekend. May you be blessed with a greater awareness of God’s Presence.

Reminded

I am often prepared for how to pray while reading Christian novels. A recent one had this simple prayer line.

The author of the Mountain Series wrote, “Lord, protect her. Do what I can’t.”

I adapt the prayer saying, “Lord, protect them. Do what I can’t.”

I took a walk after writing yesterday’s entry. That is when I remembered the novel and the line I copied. The Mountain Series by Misty M. Beller is full of such simple prayers. I read these, copy and paste them in my electronic notes knowing I will need them later. She seems to write this sort of prayer every time her character realizes they have moved away from trusting God and then the character returns with a simple declaration of faith.

So Monday morning, walking and trying to clear my brain for another blog entry, I prayed the above prayer and am writing it to each of you. “Lord, protect. Do what I cannot.” Brother Lawrence tells us that useless thoughts spoil everything and much mischief starts there…exact quote from the book of his letters is next.

“That useless thoughts spoil all: that the mischief began there; but that we ought to reject them, as soon as we perceived their impertinence to the matter in hand, or our salvation; and return to our communion with GOD.”

Words that bring life and repel darkness. Certainly easy to read and type. SO much harder to put into practice. Mental illness is so painful for the family members to watch. We get dragged into it when words or texts are flying with untrue accusations, most of which will never receive an apology. What does one do with those wounds?

I cannot tell you what years and years of this accomplishes. At the end of that first day this is how I felt.

Hollow watermelon with empty rind

Empty, hollow, almost unable to form a coherent sentence. Wondering what positive impact my life has ever made in this person and these situations.

I was reminded that the last response I made to a hurtful text was, “You are hurting all the ones who love you the most.” The response seemed to be hugely sarcastic, “Thanks for the advice.” Then crickets.

Perhaps there was an impact from my words. Maybe a glimmer of light broke through from the Lord’s hand? God knows. I learned later that shortly thereafter, things began to turn around for the better.

I went to sleep asking the Lord to help me rest and not obsess over all that had been said and done not only that day, but over the weeks, over the years leading up to this event.

I was truly amazed when I awoke the next morning and realized I had slept all the way through the night.

I am reminded as I write this that my mother once made pickled watermelon rinds.

Tasty, but they seemed WAY too sweet to me!

So perhaps that is my guidance. Take the words and the hurt and the anguish. Clean down to the rind. Cook it is the forgiveness of Christ adding the sweetness of His Presence. Serve it up as an offering on his banqueting table?

Wonder or Rejoice

There is a perspective lesson about the rose and the thorn. “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”

There is a classroom exercise that encourages individuals to analyze their experiences by focusing on the positive aspects (rose), the negative aspects (thorn), and the potential for growth (bud).

There is likely a situation (or more than one ) where you can apply this perspective in your life. It can easily become a habit to focus on the negative, on the things that are happening that are not what we want or wish for. What if we apply the cross and bring into the foreground the positive aspects of what we are dealing with. A focus on gratitude helps in this respect. Negativity and complaining is easy because it has a focus upon our lack of strength and power. If we apply the resurrected power of Christ, the simple negative dash – become a cross + the symbol for light over darkness, life over death + Christ in us, the hope of glory+ Not I, but Christ in me+

I can wonder why my back hurts so badly in the evening, or I can rejoice that my back does not hurt as badly in the morning!

Just this morning I came across a church sign that said something to the effect”Life not a bed of roses? Remember Who bore the crown of thorns!”

When I was first diagnosed with fibromyalgia I came across a book by Amy Carmichael entitled Rose from Brier. It was truly helpful to me. That is where I was first introduced to the idea of the rose, the thorn, etc. This summary by Jasmin Howell is lovely. Here is the link to her blog https://setapart.org/rose-brier/ “After she sustained a serious injury in the later part of her life, Amy Carmichael, a missionary to India, wrote a short volume of letters, which were published as a book called Rose From Brier. These letters—full of poetry, scripture, personal reflection, and encouraging wisdom — were her way of processing her debilitating injury, an injury that stayed with her until she passed away. The letters were written as an encouragement from one who was ill to others facing similar trials, or as Amy herself put it, “From thy brier shall blow a rose for others.”

So what has inspired you? How can you take this lesson from the rose and apply it to your life? Are there things that just seem like thorn bushes and more thorn bushes? Scripture points out that a fire from thorns burns quickly and is insubstantial for cooking with a steady heat.

I have not admired the Knock Out brand of roses. Yes, they bloom almost continuously but the ones I grew had no lovely fragrance and wicked huge thorns. We tore them out and never bought those again!

I moved this rose twice from house to house. Originally, I bought it in a cellophane wrapped bundle on the cheap one spring. This year it did not flourish. It was such a fragrant rose that I used to dry the petals to make beads with. Gave those saved petals away when we downsized. Yes, it had thorns, but nothing brutal.

The memory of that rose holds me near to the memory that Christ is with me and died for me. Christ lives in me and wants to be a pleasing fragrance to others. Yes, my life and that rose both carry thorns, but the rose is borne upon a thorn bush. Jesus, my rose, is the One who rules and reigns.

The aforementioned book is still available from Amazon for about $8.

What has inspired you? Discard the thorns and cling to that.

Eternal Life as a Way of Living

This?

NO SILLY! Not even close!!!

I was sharing with you from the book Renovated: God, Dallas Willard and Jim Wilder. I want to get back to the idea of living as if eternal life begins now, which I believe is true.

See, eternal life is not something that you get after you are dead. Eternal life is a way of living – now, even as we are alive. Sometimes I think it would help us if instead of talking about eternal life, we talked about eternal living. Eternal living is a matter of living a life so intertwined with the life of God Himself that your life is a part of God’s life. Consider John 17:.3

 And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.John 17:3 NKJV

The knowing Jesus here is not cognitive (knowing what the answers are). Knowing, biblically and in life generally, is a matter of interactive relationship.

We are to know Jesus as we live in the here and now. Know Him through an interactive relationship. How do you do that?

Let me give you an example from my own life this very morning. Bob had a missed call at 5:38 AM. Then when he reached out he was sent a text to please call him. There was a situation someone did not have any experience handling. We both prayed.

I went to the Lord with any unconfessed situations on my part in that particular relationship. I used the book Praying like Monks, etc. as my guideline for this, pages 114-115. I prayed something like this. “I give You all of this Father. I ask that the power of truth and hope rule and reign over and within this relationship. Holy Spirit help us I pray. We have no idea what is going on once again. Wisdom of the ages, be with us and guide us.” I approached this as currently living in Ohio but also living eternally. Adoration, confession, petition and now I give thanks that we can pray with confidence that the Lord has heard us. Move in this situation I pray Father. Through Your Holy Spirit break through and help those in need.

Jim Wilder continues: “Eternal living is this kind of knowing, an interactive relationship. I am living eternally now. That is why Jesus says, “Those who keep my word will never experience or see death.” Why? Because the life they are living now simply continues. And again, consider John 11 at the tomb of Lazarus when Jesus is talking with Martha about resurrection and so on. 25 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. 26 And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?” It wasn’t death He was talking about – He’s talking about life.

Are you willing to give life this kind of perspective? Are you hungry for His presence, His will and His ways? This has meant I need to adjust my perspective on many things. Remember Jesus said if you hate your life here you will keep it? (John 12:25) For me that has meant giving thanks for situations that I have resented or been ungrateful for previously. Turning things in my heart and mind to His way of seeing and doing. Oh Lord, I have so much more to learn about eternal living!

May the Holy Spirit guide and teach each of us in the ways of heaven. I always declare I need all the help I can get! Help me Spirit to relinquish every situation to You, for You alone are omniscient and omnipotent. Omnipresent God touch and heal us all I pray. Amen.

Are You A Disciple of Jesus?

Yes! I have been impacted by these quotes and books. I pray the quotes bring you encouragement as well as food for thought.

The basic idea of being a disciple, in the New Testament, is being with Jesus, learning to be like Him. The disciple {since the resurrection} is someone who is with Jesus, still, learning to be like Him. That’s a status. Disciple is a status; spiritual formation is a process. Renovated by Jim Wilder

Spiritual formation, in the Christian sense, is the process of transformation that occurs to the disciple. Such transformation involves emotional and spiritual maturity. And if we are not disciples, we won’t move forward in that process. You cannot experience spiritual transformation – transformation onto the likeness of Christ – without being a disciple of Christ. Renovated by Jim Wilder

So now you see the seriousness of accepting a form of Christianity that does not involve being a disciple. If a disciple is defined as one who is “learning from Jesus how to lead my life as He would lead my life if He were I,” we have to ask ourselves Is that me? Then we have to answer honestly in terms of what is happening in our life. And then we have to ask Have I chosen that? And if I have chosen it, what am I doing to carry through with it?

All of those questions made me sit back and question my life, my church life, my path forward with the Lord. Won’t you take a moment to examen yourself in light of what Jim Wilder and Dallas Willard teach? I think these questions are of utmost importance for us as we attempt to follow Jesus through this life.

One question they pose reminds me of Ignatian spirituality. “If a disciple is learning from Jesus how to live, what am I learning from Him now? What have I learned from Him in the past? How does that whole progression look? As a disciple, my consciously chosen aim is to learn the life of Jesus, and I am constantly arranging and rearranging my affairs to realize this goal.”

I am an Associate at the Convent of the Transfiguration. The teachings about transformation remind me that Jesus calls me to also be transfigured – my old self for the New Creation He wants to create in me.

These two authors Jim Wilder and Tyler Staton are impacting my thoughts, words and deeds with Gospel truths. May they bring you closer to discipleship, too.

Two Books

I have been reading Jim Wilder’s book “Renovated: God, Dallas Willard and the Church That Transforms” and Tyler Staton’s book, “Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools.” Both have me taking notes and being challenged in my walk.

Jim Wilder studied under Dallas Willard. Most of the things I have noted from the book are Dallas’s words. It is such a meaty book that I read it in small portions at a time. I am about 45% finished with it. If I am quoting Jim instead of Dallas please forgive me.

Here are some quotes that have had me thinking.

“Christian formation is the process of taking on the character of Christ. That means the person begins to think with – to have beliefs and images and ways of interpreting things that are characteristic of – Christ. This process begins at what we call “the birth from above” – the impartation or implantation of a new life in the person. The record of history and Scripture testify that salvation is best thought of as having a new kind of life.” from Renovated

There is debate within the church as to when exactly this process occurs. Tyler Staton notes that at some point we will notice the change within ourselves. More importantly for me recently, I must ask myself if I am truly interpreting things I ponder within me through the new life Christ has given to me.

Often I fail at this and need to confess and begin again. (Love that booklet from the Benedictines that is entitled, “Always we Begin Again.“)

The activity of the new kind of life that we mean by “birth from above” is reliance upon Christ and God for everything – the restoration of the relationship to God intended for us in the first place and that alone enables us to fulfill our nature. To “seek first the Kingdom of God and His kind of righteousness” is the natural response to the new life that has come to you. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 12:3, “If you believe that Jesus is Lord, that is because of the Spirit that has moved in you.” You actually believe that. from Renovated

Taking on the character of Christ. I love the recent lyric from Abandoned by Benjamin William Hastings that says, “My one life’s endeavor, to match Your surrender, to mirror not my will but Yours.” Father, help me to yield to this goal!

Does your home church foster this sort of growth? ‘Restoration of the relationship to God intended for us in the first place’?

Pursuing this type of life, “the restoration of the relationship to God intended for us in the first place” requires my constant awareness of my motives and purposes. Tyler notes that sin is agreed upon as a major problem in the world by every ‘historical era, cultures and philosophies.’

Believing in the existence of God has never really been the hang-up for us humans. Across cultures and eras, the existence of something bigger than us has always been the popular opinion. Even today, in a post-Enlightenment, highly skeptical society bent on deconstruction, the majority of people believe in some kind of deity who is running the show. from Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools

The hang-up is, and has always been, trusting the God we believe exists. …Adam and Eve trusted themselves, not the God they believed in. And that is what the Bible calls sin – good desire channeled through the wrong means. Sin is shorthand for any attempt to meet our deep needs by our own resources. from Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools

If I am to truly live from the new life that has been given to me, I must lay aside my mistaken attempts to meet my own needs and trust that God will take care of me. In every way. In every single day.

As you read this Bob and I are traveling to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. This looks like a daunting trip to us! We planned it without realizing at first that we will be in a different motel every single night. There is one place where we stay 2 nights, but overall it means moving suitcases, etc. back and forth to the car daily for a full week. We have not done this since we began aging so dramatically! Oh my! What have we gotten ourselves into? And it is all our own doing. We are so accustomed to going on vacation, unpacking the first day and making small car trips from that location. I will spend a few hours trying to figure out how to pack differently for myself so there is not all this perpetual suitcase hauling. (I just realized I like the instrumental music playing as I write. The song is entitled Fossils. How appropriate! LOL)

So Father God, I turn over our travel needs to You. Show us how to see all these Michigan sights without completely wearing ourselves out. If there is any way possible help us to witness the northern lights with our own eyes at Copper Harbor! Show us how to find an agate on the beach. Help us to live the imparted new life Christ has given us as we meet new people, with different accents, different lifestyles and foods. Most of all, help us to not only glorify Your name but to look to You in all things. We seek Your Kingdom and Your righteousness in Ohio and in Michigan.

Wesleyan Covenant Prayer

There are many people who shun written prayers and just as many others who rely upon them. I actually do both. Do not even know now where I recently came across this prayer. John Wesley interests me because before I was born my Grandfather Snapp was a Methodist minister. He died before I arrived. It is said that those who knew Allen Ross Snapp (1876 to 1946) loved him. I have also heard he preached hell fire and brimstone. Wish I could find a record of one of his sermons. I would love to have known him.

My mother, Her father, Allen Ross, back row 2 of her 5 brothers, Frank Snapp and Howard Snapp

When I was looking for a church to get baptized in at age 15 I visited quite a few. The Methodist one I visited did not do a lot for my young questing heart. Later, we did join Clough United Methodist where our young baby son was dedicated to the Lord.

This prayer, often used in January services among the Methodists, spoke to my heart. Surely Grandpa Snapp used it in his services, too! I am certain you will hear refrains of Paul’s letters in it. I sincerely hope you can read, pray and recite it with a genuine heart of dedication to Christ.

I am no longer my own by Yours.
Put me to what You will,
rank me with whom You will.
Put me to doing,
put me to suffering.
Let me be employed for You or laid aside for You,
exalted for You or brought low for You.
Let me be full, let me be empty. Let me have all things, let me have nothing.
I freely and wholeheartedly yield all things
to Your pleasure and disposal.
And now, glorious and blessed God,
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit,
You are mine and I am Yours.
So be it.
And the covenant now made on earth,
let it be ratified in heaven. Amen.

And set to music

I pray you can give yourself to the Lord, if not today, then very soon. One church challenged their members to read this daily for 100 days. You might want to try that!

Tyler Staton

I ordered a book by Tyler Staton entitled Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools. At the time it seemed a good idea. I put it in my Christian Book Distributors cart and then forgot it for a while. Recently I had cause to place an order with CBD. I included this book in my order.

This morning when I started reading it I was struck almost immediately why I needed this, yet another tome about prayer.

Most of us get about knee-deep in the Christian life, discover that the water feels fine, and stop there. We never swim in the depths of the divine intimacy Jesus won for us. This book is an invitation to swim. Page 5 Introduction

Yes, he captured my attention with those few sentences. As a long time prayer person and intercessor there is often a need to boost my enthusiasm for the prayer effort. Not that talking with my Father is always an effort, but I get stymied at times. I likely will be quoting this author for a while.

3 As the man went eastward with a measuring line in his hand, he measured off a thousand cubits and then led me through water that was ankle-deep. 4 He measured off another thousand cubits and led me through water that was knee-deep. He measured off another thousand and led me through water that was up to the waist. 5 He measured off another thousand, but now it was a river that I could not cross, because the water had risen and was deep enough to swim in—a river that no one could cross. Ezekiel 47:3-5 NIV

How deep are you willing to go with God? Bob will be traveling to California soon and I will have the house alone with Lucky dog. I am hoping this will be a time of deeper prayer for me! Sort of a retreat at my home address. That can be difficult to pull off, but I am ready for it!

Most of you know how much I like the music of Christy Nockels. Her husband is often her collaborator. She asked him to write an instrumental album with music she could have playing while she was writing. This is one selection from his creation. And creative he certainly is!

Please use this music to help you pause and draw closer to the Living God as you are called to go deeper with the Mighty Trinity. You might want to use the entire album for your prayer time?

Three Sieves

"Is it true?"
"Is it kind?"
"Is it necessary?"

These are questions we ought to be asking ourselves in every conversation. I was reminded recently of a situation in my life where someone did not filter her comments in this way. I was deeply wounded by her comments.

As you may know my husband almost died in 2019. In 2021 we began to build a new house, smaller house, no steps. etc.. Prior to the house being finished I was gripped by a fear that went something like, “What if he dies before we move in?” I was involved in a weekly prayer group at our church. I asked my prayer friends to pray for me as I was having difficulty shaking off that fear. Time went on. Bob continued to gain strength and we moved into the house.

A couple months later we held an open house for others to come and see where we live now. One of the women from that prayer group took me aside and said, “See! Nothing happened.” The comment felt demeaning and condescending. Was it true? Yes. Was it kind? Not in my ears. Was it necessary? Not in the least.

Not everything we think needs to be said aloud to others.

With chronic illness you quickly learn that those who do not suffer from a chronic illness likely have no inkling what you go through. With the near death of a spouse you also learn that others who have not experienced it likely have no inkling what you go through.

I thank the Lord everyday that my husband lived through that awful illness and recovered so well. I am so grateful for those who prayed for me to stay strong as I helped nurse him back to a full life and was enabled with the help of their prayers to release my fears to the Lord God Almighty.

This incident marred any fondness in my heart for that lady. She has good points. I benefited some from knowing her. I just cannot bring myself to trust her, at least with my innermost needs.

I believe we need to take care with our words. This applies to me, also. James warns us in Chapter 1

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry James 1:19 NIV

I quoted Amy Carmichael on this very quote in another blog posting https://wordpress.com/post/treasures-in-plain-sight.org/3454

The Room Under the Stairs

When I was a child we lived many of my early years in a four-family apartment building. My mother owned it and we rented out the other 3 apartments. Each unit was 2 bedroom, 1 bath. We had a paved driveway to play on. It ran along the side of the building, (a great place to play with a pinky ball or hopscotch) and a lower parking lot where we could ride bikes. The other side of the building had a strip of garden where I could find bugs and honeybees to experiment upon.

One of my favorite places was the closet under the stairs. In the basement, which at times flooded, there was a closet where my parents stored paint for the apartments. Due to the flooding there was a fragrance of dried mud on concrete. This closet had a door that could be locked from the inside and one light bulb. I would often go in there to hide from my family. I would turn over a paint can to use for a stool. Eventually I began swiping birthday cake candles to use in there so I could turn off the light. I had no idea I could have set the place ablaze with candles and paint cans!

Over time I began using thumbtacks to put up pictures of Jesus on the wall studs from various family funerals. The only person I showed the place to was my best friend Dana. Other than that it was private.

Recently during a Soul Collage retreat I was reminded of that secret place. Looking back I realized it was my early place of refuge and inspiration. For this collage, I tried to find a photo of a paint can. The only one I found was silly with polka dots on top of red paint.

The images each represent something to me. Clockwise from 11:00, they represent the Holy Spirit by the figure in the white cowl. The stained glass the church. The paper with words and the pencil, writing to His glory. The stream in the center is the Living Water. The candle for the basement closet with the paint can. The open hand, yielding to the Trinity. In one form or another all these things occurred or began in the secret worship place.

What is the foundation of your faith? Did you have spiritual formation in a secret place?

I once read The Secret Garden by Burnett. This quote sums up these ideas for me.

“Where you tend a rose my lad, a thistle cannot grow.”
― Francis Hodgson Burnett

I do not think Father God waits until the last moment to call and transform us. I believe He begins early in our life and continues until we answer the call to come to Him. Jesus said that in the book of John.

No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day. John 6:44 NIV

So much of our faith is formed and prospers in private.

Return to the Lord and find your resting place in Him. Surrender to the call upon your soul and spirit.